Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Hard Conversations with a Friend, Spicing Up Your Sex Life, Opening Up a Monogamous Relationship and Fantasies

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena. So let's get into today's episode.

Starting point is 00:01:05 I want to welcome everybody today to another episode of the Down and Dirty Podcast. As always, I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and I just want to thank everybody for, again, for listening, for supporting the show. I love to talk about anything that's related to relationship, sex, image, how to be your best self. And today I have another episode of Talk Dirty to Me. And this is where I have a forum where you can fill out and you can send me any question that you would like me to answer on the show, where if you have any sex questions, if you have any relationship questions, image questions, dating questions, anything that's related to the dating world. I hope I can answer this the best I can with the knowledge that was

Starting point is 00:01:55 given to me. So I just want to thank everybody again for jumping on the show. Please leave a five-star rating, a review. This really helps the show to be seen and allows people just to really grab some nuggets from these shows and hopefully use them in their current relationships or future relationships. So I'm going to dive right into it. I've got four questions here. The first one is from Tara, a woman, and she says, a good friend of mine is in denial that he needs to see a therapist before he jumps into yet another relationship. How can I get him to listen? Okay, well, first and foremost, you cannot make any adult do anything that they do not want to. I know this is a really good friend of yours, and I know that you care about him. So what I would suggest is to really

Starting point is 00:02:51 sit down with him and point out the patterns that have been happening in this relationship, right? I'm sure that you can pinpoint some of the things that keep happening and you have to have him be aware that he's the common denominator here and you're not getting on the offensive you're coming from a very loving place and truly just want him to be happy so you know I would really suggest maybe seeing give him some options of people that he could see and talk to and you know understand that because he's going to do some self-reflection and some self-work on himself, he will actually have that relationship that he's really looking for instead of having the same patterns happen over and over, which clearly aren't serving him.

Starting point is 00:03:46 And when you say you really think he needs to see a therapist, maybe these patterns and coping skills are stemming from childhood or a very, very bad relationship early on, or even PTSD or bullying can be another factor, but really sit down and maybe actually talk to him and say, where did these patterns show up? When did they start happening? What do you think they're from? And maybe just being loving and his friend, he'll be able to come to his own conclusion that, yeah, maybe I should start working on myself before I jump into another relationship.

Starting point is 00:04:26 but thank you Tara I don't know if that helped I hope it did hope you can take some tidbits from that and honestly like I just don't know enough and I'm not a therapist but as a coach I would kind of coach him through these things and then eventually find him someone that he could speak to to work on and do the work my next question is from Matt he says my girlfriend won't try anything new and exciting in the bedroom and I feel that if she doesn't do some something more adventurous, then I feel like that I may cheat and I don't want to, what can I do to coax her into spicing up our sex life? Okay, Matt, I understand that sex is not just sex. A lot of times when you're in a relationship, it's intimacy, it's the need to connect and, or maybe you're just

Starting point is 00:05:18 feeling hot and bothered and she's just not as excited as you. So my suggestion is it's really all about communication. I would talk to her and say, I know that you aren't willing to do this, but maybe what are you willing to do? What are you willing to try so that I'm not so bored with the same sex, the same routine, whatever that is for you. I'm not sure what you mean by adventurous and that can be defined by both of you because I know that you don't want to cheat, but for you, you need a little bit, you need something more. Give her the option of role-playing, dressing up, even trying on something sexy. Make sure it's okay with her though, so that she's not feeling degraded or anything give her some options maybe it's toy play maybe it's just get buying her toy

Starting point is 00:06:13 and letting her experiment on herself to see what she's really comfortable with maybe she's just really uneducated about all the options or what you actually mean by that so get really specific with her and say you know anything for you might be okay but for her maybe she's okay with buying a few toys and buying some sexy lingerie at first. Maybe it's just a different location than just the same bedroom sex if that's what you're having. There's so many different ways to try something new. Go to a hotel one night and take her out to a beautiful dinner and then see if a different position is good to start. So I think that and I hope that she's open to trying something because she loves you. And maybe she'll end up finding some really great

Starting point is 00:07:05 pleasure in it, too. I mean, that's the idea, right? I know that you don't want to cheat. And I appreciate you even sharing that because that's hard to say. And I think what you should really do is communicate, say, Look, I am not satisfied. I love you. I really want to try to make us both happy here. And honestly, I'm sure she'll receive you in a great way. And if she doesn't, then well you'll have to re-evaluate that on your own so hope you can give those a few suggestions to her look them up see what you're into maybe what she's into my next question is from johnny johnny says i always told myself that i would never be in a monogamous relationship but i have been for the last five years i am no longer interested in this style of a relationship i would like to have

Starting point is 00:07:55 an open one. What do I do? How do I come to my partner and ask her or tell her that I no longer am interested in monogamy? Well, Johnny, that's just a whole lot of stuff right there. My question is, does she know that you've never had a monogamous relationship prior to this one? If she is somewhat knowledgeable than that, well, I don't know if you said, I'm going to try this. I love you I feel that this is what I want in my life but I don't know what made you decide that you don't want a monogamous relationship anymore if you're bored if it's not spicy enough if you just really want to have sex with other people again I really want to emphasize how important it is to communicate with your partner it is okay to hurt someone's feelings that's not what you're

Starting point is 00:08:46 doing, but know that you need to be heard, but she also needs to hear you. I think it's only fair, especially five years. That's a long time. And explain to her, what does that look like? You know, if you say to her, well, I just want to be in open relationships, you know, maybe that's, maybe that's like hurtful to her. So maybe explain to her a little bit more about what it is and be specific about what you need. Maybe she'll totally be into it. Maybe she won't. And you'll have to come to that decision if you're willing to stay in that relationship as is or not. Again, communicate, communicate, communicate. Find a way that it's not offensive and it's not, she's not getting defensive. It's just really calm. Maybe you have a third party

Starting point is 00:09:35 talk to you, you know, maybe you go to a therapist and sit down with them and have them give you suggestions on how to discuss this and really get to the root of where this is coming from. You know, maybe it's something other than you truly wanting to have sex. Maybe it's the need to feel desired again. Maybe it's, you know, there's so many reasons why that this is, and there's nothing wrong with it. I, I, I'm not judging you at all because I think monogamy is not for everybody. So no judgments. It's just the situation you're in. You have to respect your partner and really communicate that. All right. My last question today is from Gil. He said, I am so turned on by cuckolding that I want my wife to have sex with another man while I watch.

Starting point is 00:10:24 How can I gauge to see if she's up for it? Okay. Gil, again, a lot of these questions are all about communicating. Don't worry about, you know, I think there's such a fear of talking to your partner when things have been a certain way, but that doesn't mean they have to stay that way. You know, relationships evolve, relationships, they grow, but they don't always grow together. And that's also okay. You don't have to have the same likes and interests, but when it comes to sex and especially when you want your wife to have sex with another man so that you can get off you have to make sure that she is open to that so again tell her that this is a fantasy of yours and maybe you've like watched porn on it or maybe you haven't maybe she's completely in the dark but i

Starting point is 00:11:18 would recommend talking to her about what that means maybe even watching some porn so she can educate herself on what it means. And you guys need to have some type of rules, like if she's okay with that and how often and with whom and all of these questions, but all I would recommend talk to her. That's how you're going to gauge. She's going to say yes or no, or maybe, or let me find out more information or who is it with, or, you know, so on and so forth. There's so many questions I'm assuming that are going to go through her head. This is a very common fantasy fantasy that is acted out a lot. I'm not sure what it is about cuckolding, but it's one of those things. It's a very common fantasy and not just a fantasy. It's the act of as well.

Starting point is 00:12:07 And again, talking to her, having that communication, seeing where she's at, but really starting that, starting there and explaining more to her what you're looking for. well I hope that I was able to answer some of these questions communication is key in any relationship and I highly recommend having those questions before you get to the point of wanting to cheat or wanting to do this on your own because maybe this is a really exciting thing for her as well not just you and it could be so amazing like I said our relationships change what we want in the future changes. And hopefully it can be together and you can have that long lasting relationship. So thanks again for listening today. And I appreciate all the love

Starting point is 00:13:00 and until next time. Thank you. Bye bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, CelesteMoore.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.

Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Hard Conversations with a Friend, Spicing Up Your Sex Life, Opening Up a Monogamous Relationship and Fantasies

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.