Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Unexpected Lessons from Relationships, Successful First Dates, and Sexual Compatibility

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

In this week’s episode, I tackle your questions regarding image, sex, and dating! From exploring things outside of your comfort zone to the importance of sexual compatibility in relationships,  this episode covers a variety of topics that you won’t want to miss. Remember to embrace your authenticity, take care of your mental health, and put your best foot forward in dating! Please reach out and tell us your thoughts about the Q&A over on Instagram @celestemooreimage and don’t forget to rate and review if you love the podcast! In this week’s episode we discuss: [02:35] Question 1: (Gavin) - What role does fashion play in personal branding? [05:13] Question 2: (Jerome) - How do you navigate consent in a casual relationship? [06:40] Question 3: (Levi) - What is one thing that everyone should try at least once in their dating life?  [08:09] Question 4: (Chris) - How has the conversation around mental health changed in recent years?  [10:26] Question 5: (Daren) - What's the most unexpected lesson you've learned from past relationships? [12:39] Question 6: (Casey) - How do you maintain individuality while in a long-term relationship? [14:56] Question 7: (Philip) - What is the key to a successful first date? [18:04] Question 8: (Doug) - How important is sexual compatibility in relationships?

Welcome to the down and dirty podcast, the ultimate guide to modern midlife dating. I'm your host Celeste Moore and I'm here to help you navigate the challenges of today's dating world. Think of me as your female version of hitch but better with over 16 years of experience as a certified image consultant and dating coach. I've got the inside scoop on what women want. In this podcast, we're diving deep into the world of healthy masculinity and modern dating. It's a fast changing industry. And here you'll find personal stories, expert insights

and candid conversations that will empower you to take control of your dating life. There's never been a better time to achieve your desired outcome, whether it's marriage, finding a significant other, securing a life partner or simply regaining your dating confidence. We're here with you twice a week to explore the viewpoints and challenges in today's dating arena that resonate with every man seeking dating success and love. So let's dive into today's episode. We've got an exciting discussion lined up for you. Get ready for the double D's of dating where dating dilemmas turn into dating triumph. welcome to another episode of the down and dirty podcast as always i'm your host celeste moore

thank you for listening and joining in today i really appreciate it today is another episode of talk dirty to me where the audience here submits questions to me and i get to answer them A lot of these questions involve, well, what I talk about on the show. It's sex, image consulting, dating questions, relationship questions, luxury lifestyle questions. There's a whole gamut of questions that I get to answer. And hopefully this brings you some type of clarity. This brings you something back into your relationships and you get to take this valuable information and implement it into your lives. So thank you for all of you new listeners and all of you that continue to listen to the show. I really, really appreciate it.

So I'm continuing this on. I want people to know I did not forget about you. I'm going to answer your questions. And if I don't get to all of them today, I promise next episode, I will get to them. The next talk dirty to me. Let me clarify that because there might be an episode or two that comes out that's not the talk dirty to me. So, all right, let's get into it. My next question here is from Gavin. And Gavin says, what role does fashion play in personal branding? Well, Gavin, listen in a week because there's going to be an episode I'm talking about personal branding. But I will go over this question because I think it's really important for everybody to know here how powerful fashion is. It is a tool for you to express your authentic individuality,

and it's also a tool for your public persona. Now, personal branding should be self-explanatory, but some of us don't really understand the whole intricacies of it. Now, I'm not going to go into everything here, but I just want you to know that it can communicate your values, your personality, and your style. It is who you are and how you show up in this world. So if you're a happy person, if you're a vibrant person, if you take care of yourself, you groom yourself, you're wearing clothes that fit your body,

all of these things send messages to the public, to your church or your community, where you show up for work, the gym, the hobbies that you do, and it shows up in your home. in your relationships. So sometimes we can go through many different personas through our life. We go through different stages and seasons in our life. And at these times, you can change your style. And that's okay. That's great. I want everybody to understand that just because you had a style that worked for you when you were younger does not necessarily work for you now. So

every, I don't know, every couple of years, it's okay to go back into your wardrobe or look at pictures like, how are you showing up? Or where am I showing up in this world? And how can I show up in a different way if that matters to you? Just know that 55% is how we look. that is huge because the other percentages are 38% is how we say it in our tone and 7% is actually what we say. So there's such a huge impact on the way that we show up, the way that we look. So keep that in mind. Gavin, I know that that's a very simplified answer to that, but pay attention because there is an episode coming out about personal branding. So thank you for asking that. The next one, Jerome is asking, how do you navigate consent

in a casual relationship? Okay. I'm assuming this means casual, open, you're not monogamous. Maybe you're just hanging out, friends with benefits. I think the really most important thing for you is to communicate what those boundaries look like. Maybe you're just newly dating and you guys are not monogamous and you're not only dating each other. So just make sure to be very clear about that because you don't want one person to think that you're monogamous and the other person thinks that it's okay to have and be in sexual relationships with everybody else at the same time. So just make sure that that is paramount. It's crucial to a successful relationship. And there's also different comfort levels. Regardless of the relationship's seriousness,

everybody has their own boundaries and comfort levels. So just communicate those and make sure that you are both on the same page and make sure that the other one understood what you're trying to convey. So get really crystal clear on those. So nobody's feelings are getting hurt. You're not overstepping people's boundaries. And in return, you are having your boundaries respected. Next is from Levi. What's one thing everyone should try at least once in their dating life? Well, you know what? I think everybody should at least get uncomfortable and do something crazy. And I don't mean like you have to do something that you're not comfortable with, but getting out of your dating comfort zone is really important because it can really allow you to discover new interests,

meet new people that you would normally not encounter. So let's just say you normally go on a date and you, I don't know, you do a coffee date. This is just a bad one anyway. So instead of doing a coffee date, let's do an adventure date. Pick something, pick a class, pick a painting, a pottery, I don't know, bowling. Think of something that you normally wouldn't do and try that experience out and see how that works for you. Because really, dating should be fun. The first couple dates should just be about exploring the other person to see if you guys vibe, if there's chemistry, if you guys can hold conversation, all of those first couple dates are so important for those reasons. So why not make it fun? So get out of those dating ruts. That's

my suggestion. Thank you for asking these questions, guys, because I think this is going to help so many people, not just you who submitted the questions. Okay, Chris is asking, how has a conversation around mental health changed in recent years? That's a really good question and I've had quite a few experts on my show who've talked about this and I truly believe that there has been a significant shift towards destigmatization with more people advocating for mental health awareness and support and really I feel that since COVID because so many not just children, but adults went through such pain and anguish in the mental health field. I know that I've even experienced some of this, and it's really difficult on children, too, where a lot

of kids were getting more anxious or more depressed. And I think there was an influx of therapists and psychiatrists who just literally did not have time to take on as many clients. and i want everyone to know here that mental health is so important our mental health needs to be addressed on a daily basis and people that deal with mental health issues severe mental health issues should see someone and just asking for help there should be no reason why you should feel inferior or less than because you need help. We all need help. We all go to doctors. Sometimes it's for a cut on our hands. Sometimes it's because we're sick. And there's doctors for our mental health as well. So the whole openness of mental health has really progressed in my

opinion. And I think it says that you are valuable and you're taking care of your health. And I think it's really important to do because no one else is going to do it but yourself. So check in with your doctors and see if there's something that you can do other than mindfulness. If you need to get on medication, if you need to start therapy, that's all great because you're going to figure out what's going on with you and get a handle on it. So yeah, I think that the conversation around mental health has definitely changed. Darren has asked, what's the most unexpected lesson you've learned from a past relationship? I think that sometimes loving someone means letting them go. I also think that probably one of the hardest lessons in my personal relationships was wrapping my head around the man that I had a child with not owning his responsibilities as a father.

that was very, very difficult for me to grasp, to understand why. And it used to drive me absolutely crazy. It used to make me bonkers. I didn't understand. It was so hurtful. It was so, as a mother, never in my life would I allow my child to be out of my presence for me not to parent them, to not love them, to not show up for them. That is why you become a parent. and I couldn't wrap my head around it and it was killing me for years and years and years and it was heartbreaking, heart-wrenching and I still don't get it

but I don't spend the time and energy on it anymore because at the end of the day, it's his loss and I get to reap all of the beautifulness that comes from being a parent. All the struggles, like parenting is so difficult but I think that hardest lesson for me was letting that go, not just him but letting the questions of why because I'm never going to understand it and so

all it did was sit there and simmer with me and make me crazy make me like hurt so much and the moment I let that go it was so freeing because then I could really concentrate on what matters in my life and being a better parent, being a businesswoman, being Celeste. So yeah, thanks for asking that, Darren, because I think we've all had struggles in our relationships that were so difficult. And I think the more you listen to your gut, not with your head, but with your heart, you'll move in the right direction that you need to. Casey is asking, how do you maintain individuality while in a long-term relationship? Oh, this is a good one. So if you're in a relationship that doesn't allow individuality, first and foremost,

you should not be in that relationship. Those are people trying to control you because they have insecurities. So the ways that you can still be a couple, if that's what that relationship is to you and have your individual self. You need to still pursue your personal interests and hobbies because that defines you. That's who you are. Those are things that you love. Maintain your individual friendships and nurture those and give each other space to grow independently. Just because, for example, it's a couple relationship. there's ways to grow as a couple and there's ways to grow as an individual and I'll tell you this I was in a relationship once where I completely lost my individual self in that relationship I

was young it was my first love and I did everything for him I moved out of the state for him I Anything he said that he needed from me, I gave him. But in doing so, I lost myself. I lost who I was. I didn't know what I liked to do. I didn't necessarily have a voice anymore. And so when we broke up, I was devastated on so many levels. I was lost, completely, utterly lost.

And it took me a lot longer to find out who I was and what I wanted in life. And it's so important to keep that individuality for you so that no matter if that relationship is there or not, you still are bringing yourself to that relationship. You're your whole self, your emotional self, your spiritual self, your physical self. There's so many areas of growth that we have. And the stronger we are as a person and the well-versed we are, the stronger that relationship will and should be. That's a great question.

Phillip is asking, what's the key to a successful first date? Ooh, so this I can go into for a minute. I don't think there's one key, Phillip. I think there's so many things that are, it's almost like a puzzle, right, that makes us who we are. But I would say, be your authentic, true self. Your best self. I'm not going to say if you're if you're a couch potato or if you're schlepping in some you know Chino shorts and a ripped t-shirt. That's yourself. That's not yourself. That's not your best self

I want you to or your authentic self bring the best version of you Don't try to be someone that you're not because I promise you if you do that you will not find your person The more true you are To you who you are what values, your beliefs, your life goals, your interests. You don't have to have the same interests, but it would be nice to have one or two that align because bringing that to the table will sift through anyone that's not supposed to be with you. So I would say if that was one key thing, that's what I would say. Authenticity makes for more meaningful and memorable connections too

because that is just the basis of trying to find a partner. If you're goofy, if you're silly, or if you have a dry sense of humor, all of these things. Because I might not like that. I might not gel with that. So be yourself. Don't try to be someone that you think that I want you to be, if that makes sense.

You're on a date and you think because whatever was maybe on her bio that you need to like those things or you need to be she'll find out really fast there's a story I'm going to tell you a quick little story here of a couple that met online and she read his profile and it resonated with her in so many ways like he liked to go bowling he liked to he was like a teacher he he was really into adventures and they went on the date and they had a great time there was chemistry they had a nice kiss after. Well, come to find out, everything on his profile was bullshit. He just randomly made a profile up to sound interesting, to sound a certain way. And she found out and

called him and he ghosted her because he was absolutely embarrassed. How can you come back from that? How can you come back from a lie? So living your authentic true self will help you find your person. So that would be the biggest takeaway on your first date or dating in general. Okay, I can answer one more question today. And then I'm going to continue this in a week, guys. Okay. Doug is asking how important is sexual compatibility in relationships? Wow. It is like a significant role in the foundation of physical emotional respect it is not if there is one person in the relationship that has different interests in sex there you can come to a general let's see how do i describe this so it is very very important but i think what's more important

is that there's a way that two people can come together in finding those things that they could both be interested in. Now, if one is into kink, for example, and one is very vanilla, it's going to be a little bit difficult to have a healthy functional relationship that's going to make both parties satisfied. So before you jump into the sack, before you go there, it's really important that you guys have conversations about it. Because if you're really into something and she's not, then that's where you need to bow out. Because you can ask her, how open are you to trying new things? How adventurous are you? You guys have to have these conversations. Because it's one thing to jump into a relationship

and really upfront, you already know that you're not going to be sexually satisfied, and then you're hurting people's feelings. So have these conversations early on. And I hope that you can come to an agreement of where maybe this sexuality compatibility will work for both of you. So I hope that answered some of your questions. If not, I have a ton of episodes

where we talk to a bunch of sexologists and they have so much information on the episodes. So just listen to a couple of the earlier episodes. but i will continue to bring on experts and talk about sex because you guys love it and i think we all do we're all having it so let's have the best sex out there that that works for us right no shame babes i think you should all be having healthy sex lives so listen thank you for tuning in today i want to express my heartfelt gratitude for you guys all listening here today subscribe to the down and dirty podcast leave a five-star review and until then keep exploring and navigating

that fun dating world bye if you enjoyed today's episode and want to support podcasts like ours then please hit that subscribe button leave a five-star rating and or invite others to listen your support is what helps us grow and continue to bring you valuable content thanks for hanging out with us on today's episode, let's stay connected. You can find me on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's discussion. For all the links, resources, and additional information mentioned in this episode, check out the show notes on my website, celestemore.com. That's all for now, but stay tuned for our next episode where we'll dive into more exciting topics. Until then, see you next time, friends.

Thank you.