Moore Style - The Art of Sacred Sexuality with Kim Coffin

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Tantra has been around for thousands of years but many of us have never experienced this magical medicine. Canadian sensuality and intimacy coach, Kim Coffin, found herself burnt out and depleted some years ago and reclaimed her power and body through the art of Sacred Sexuality.  In this episode, Kim fills your ears with sensuality, sexuality and so much inspiration to go forward loving yourself, just a bit more. I left this episode mind blown, and I am sure you will too. Tell us what you thought on Instagram, @celestemooreimage and leave a review below!    In this week’s episode we discuss:  [1:16] Who is Kim Coffin?  [2:58] How Kim got into sex and intimacy coaching  [8:08] The pain points Kim sees across genders [11:15] The difference between men and women when it comes to sexual insecurities [14:31] What is Sacred Sexuality?  [18:41] How one becomes more orgasmic [23:02] More about the large and small trauma we hold in our body [25:17] Keeping things alive in a long-term relationship   [27:05] What is “Get Your Sexy Back”? [29:10] What is a jade egg? [36:35] What it’s like working with Kim [42:45] Kim’s favorite date   Connect with Kim:   Website   Instagram    Facebook

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome everybody to today's podcast. Today is number 38. Yay. I'm so excited. I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today, Kim Coffin with Get Your Sexy Back. Kim is a certified trauma informed somatic empowerment sex love and relationship coach she's a graduate graduate of leila martin's institute of integrated tantric sexuality and founder of get your sexy back she specializes in female sexuality tantric sex and relationship transformation giving you the tools to unleash your sexual confidence and unlock profound new levels of self-pleasure self-love empowerment and intimacy with yourself and in your relationships by creating deep trust

and safety in your body and mind kim will show you how to reconnect to your body activate your turn on heal heartbreak and shame reclaim your natural sensual self so that you can fully step into your unapologetic power wow that's awesome that is like i love this so much uh because i know that being a sexual being is just like it's so important and it's such a main part of our lives that I feel that there's such like there can be such uncomfort like uncomfortability around it or shame or guilt or which I don't know where that came from but I love this so much that you address this and really make it a comfortable safe space for people thank you thank you very much yeah it's not always comfortable for people it was not comfortable for me in the beginning so

I totally get it if you're like uh what are we doing uh what are we talking about because yeah the societal conditioning is thick yeah so how so how did did you decide to become a sex intimacy coach yeah it's a it's a long journey it's a lifelong journey looking back it's always easier to see looking back right but over a whole pile of collection a collective I guess of societal trauma media conditioning you name it um everything led to disconnection right which I see every single day in everyone's bodies like we're constantly on the go go go let's do this hurry up we're comparison we're we're stuck in that and we're just always going and it's actually like a trauma response like we're not slowing down and being comfortable in our bodies this fastness

that's even part of today's world is also very it feels better it feels safer for us to go like that because then we don't have to connect because then we don't have to be present because we don't have to slow down and sit with the uncomfortable emotions and sit with the uncomfortable feeling maybe cycle in doubt right there's so many things so my journey started from total you know disconnection there was a teenage sexual assault in there as well from my stepfather and a betrayal from my mother believing me initially and then not anymore and it really led me into my 20s and my 30s feeling really disconnected and being the good girl really just showing up being the good girl pushing through and I could see that was a total

trauma response that was a totally different way to just to protect myself right we end up doing this in trauma and it's very very common and I was just pushing through and pushing through so ultimately it led to full-out burnout full-out disconnection fried exhausted numb numb was a really key one a lot of pain a lot of lower back pain and what I came to realize then shortly after that was, I was getting these whispers. I was getting these whispers telling me to slow down, to listen. There has to be something more. I had everything, right? I had three kids, a marriage, beautiful home, all of these things, but I was still not happy. And that is what led into, okay, there's more. What is the more? Slow down. All of these whispers.

And I still wasn't listening for years. Many, many wobbles through 2013 all the way to 2017. And that's where I kind of hit like a bottom point, which I don't want people to hit this bottom point, right? We don't need to. Yeah. There is so much we're pushing down and pushing away and not looking at in our relationships, in our emotions, in our body, in our sexuality. So it was actually my own journey that brought me back into looking for things to help me,

help me reground help me reconnect help me reclaim all of the places that i have and had pushed away dismissed not thought about right so over over the whole term like i've been an entrepreneur for 26 years okay and a coach for over 13 of them but it's only in the last six that i've been moved into full sexuality and empowerment and reclaiming who we are in our true authentic power, unapologetic power. I love that. I love that. What type of coach were you prior? You said entrepreneur coach or business coach? Entrepreneur. So I've done a whole pile of things. I owned a weight management center for seven years. I worked at another center before that. I also am a teacher and speaker as well. So I also am a master photographer and I was

teaching photography, judging, running Ontario branch, running Western Ontario, a whole pile of different things. So I've always been in that role and playing with coaching and teaching and leading. And this is, this is so, so much more fun though. So much more connected. The rest felt surface level. The rest felt disconnected. And so it's really interesting that you took this journey yourself and realize that there was probably such a hole, right? If you will, like where people didn't have maybe the resources or there were still issues going on with people, but they had no idea where to turn. And so this is, you're like, well, I just went through XYZ and I feel that I am a good place for you to come to now. I mean, that's, that's amazing.

I've been certified in a whole pile of things, sex, love and relationship, tantric sexuality, relationship transformation, and female sexuality specifically. But I do work with singles, couples, across the board of all genders. And it's brilliant because we, you know, you might think, oh, well, women struggle with this and men don't. It's not true. they actually all are struggling with a lot of the same things in not feeling good enough in not feeling confident and not feeling empowered all of these things i'm i i see showing up between all genders yeah i i agree on on that 100 i definitely feel that there's also different areas in which women versus men have those insecurities or the lack of confidence. As a single mother, I understand what it's like to be a woman and always pleasing and always doing and always going about your day and, you know, taking care of the household and, you know, and then on top of being a business owner and, you know, this cycle is very easy to get lost in. It's very easy

to forget about who we are and our desires, our wants, our needs, not just about the children or the dogs or, you know, the business, because that does like, we put ourself last just naturally. I think as a woman, I feel like, and a man probably has their own, you know, you know, going to work or whatever the very traditional role I'm using here, but, uh, you know, um, I feel like men can shut it off a little bit easier than women. We get lost in our head, right? And it's just like not being able to shut down is difficult. Yeah.

And I see the same in a different way happening to men, right? There's this disconnection and because they're generally responding to their partner and they're like being told to keep them happy with air quotes here, right? Like they, yes, they're doing their own thing, but if they're not getting the feedback and the encouragement coming at them they're like just kind of people pleasing in their own manly way right like they're doing it to keep the woman for lack of a better word and gender happy and not get all emotional more air quotes here right yeah there's like this total disconnect and in relationship it's really really common for us to very unconsciously subconsciously

attract partners that are somehow very very similar to our upbringing and our childhood experiences so very very similar to our parents and we do this subconsciously to heal we do it to heal what we never all those needs that we never had met so of course there's rift of course there's chaos of course we're fighting against each other when even if it's not actual fighting It's just the energies are fighting and we want something. And if we can learn to come home in our bodies and trust ourselves and ask for what we want, both genders, all genders, we can actually get our needs met and we can actually have the deepest, most profound relationships ever with epic, epic healing, but it takes some

work. Yeah. Do you find it that it's harder for women more than men to talk about sexual insecurities? insecurities um how should i put it like um yeah i feel that as a society i know a lot of women who i've spoken to maybe in their 40s 50s um who are just now maybe awakening their sexual being because they've been so i don't talk about that that's not appropriate it's not okay for a woman And it's fair. It's so bizarre to me, but I know that it's very common versus I just versus men, you know, it's very it's like in part of their makeup, but it's in part of our makeup as well. So I wonder if it's I don't know, I guess my question is, do you find it harder for women to be more open about talking about these things?

yeah it's very different there's I work with many people many women who are disconnected who are not aligned and they're like oh my gosh do I are we really talking about this and they're hiding hiding their face in the head right and they're like ah because the shame and the conditioning and the disempowerment goes so so deep but then there's also the part with men where they're they're supposed to be raw raw raw all testosterone I got this and they're not also feeling that way now I'm saying they're supposed to be according to media according to porn industry according to all of this toxic masculinity when instead most of these men are feeling demasculated they're not feeling like they're adding up to what they see in porn to what they

see in movies, right? So yes, they're willing to talk about it a little bit more, but if you really talk to them about it, they're also like, if you really get like nitty gritty one-on-one with them, their insecurities are there too, because we have all been disempowered in our sexuality for thousands and thousands of years. And that creates a really big contraction in our body. So it's a little bit different there, but it's kind of the same. there's still those insecurities judgments I mean voices in the head just yeah men are thinking okay it's like that's wham bam thank you ma'am sex and I just gotta you know take the control there but in the meantime that's only like a tenth maybe a quarter of what there

really truly is in sexual encounters are really deepening and opening heart and moving our sexual energy through our body and playing with the energetics, expanding their orgasms, becoming multi-orgasmic men can become multi-orgasmic. It's absolutely brilliant and powerful. It's so cool. I've heard of this. I've heard. Yeah. Yeah. I can go into that too if you want. Yeah. Is this, is this the tantric sex? Is this what you're, or is this something tantric and Taoist, right? It really is sacred sexuality, which I like to, it has so many umbrellas under right it has the daoist traditions and the tantric traditions right and this sacred slowing down so actually in the daoist tradition specifically which we're talking thousands of years

of sacred sexuality it's known as this is kind of like fun facts here that men actually deplete their bodies when they ejaculate okay their energy levels are going down and you've most likely seen it a lot of men are like okay we're done now right like no we're not done especially if the woman has not had an orgasm it's like nope there's more here yes right so men actually deplete so if men learn how to separate their ejaculation from their orgasm they're retaining their energy because the energy depletion is coming from their ejaculation if they learn to become multi-orgasmic and extend and we're talking like you could have eight nine ten twelve and so forth orgasms and never ejaculate but how many men are used to okay it's just an ejaculation and orgasm and that sex

right yes no there's so much more there's so much more so you can learn by using your breath by using your sound by using your movement and using your sexual energy to control the ejaculation part And you can go on to these waves and waves and waves of orgasms that will just keep coming. But we're not trained this. We're not taught this. Definitely not. And there's a little fun fact here too. To keep your energy, man's energy going with a man can ejaculate if you're around the age of 20 every four days.

If you're in the ages of 30, it's once in every eight days. If you're in 40 and up, you're once in every 10 days. And this is Ken, you don't have to. 50 is once in every 20 days. And 60, they actually should no longer ejaculate. Doesn't mean they can't orgasm. That's something I've learned just in speaking with you because I never knew that.

I mean, obviously, I don't think I never, it's not that I was ever interested. I just didn't have, I never picked up a book and was like oh wow so how is that it's learning to control you said the energy through breath work and using tantric and daoist practices so not through breath work i actually work on breath work but by using breath by using your breath in your body by using your sexual energy and learning how to move it through your body and sound and movement and all of these things and these are the same techniques that I teach women as well because they can then become multi-orgasmic

multi-orgasmic that's so fascinating I um and of course this is my ignorance I know that women can be multi-orgasmic um obviously and but had no idea that it was uh yeah possible for men I should say yeah and many women are only experiencing clitoral orgasms right and you actually can women generally give up they're like well i could have one with a vibrator or myself but i don't really have one on sex or i have one on sex but only a certain position or none at all and we can actually rewire our bodies to receive like there's so many orgasms like you can have the g-spot an orgasm. You can have a vaginal orgasm. You can have breast orgasms and third eye orgasm. There's full body orgasms, energetic orgasm. There's so many orgasms that we just, we're touching the

surface and what we know. Yeah. Your face alone says it all. Seriously. I'm like, what's breast orgasm? Oh yeah. I've had, even had a third eye one once. That was fun. Well, okay. I don't know what kind of, yeah. So by touching this area of your body or it comes with a deepening of practice, right? So you're again, same thing. You're learning how to move your sexual energy through your body. Instead of these little peaks of orgasms that come and go, you end up peaking and then peaking and then peaking. And then you just keep going and going. And when you can start to move this energy and when you can start to slow down in your body and feel your sensation and feel what's coming up some people are going to have blocks in there too right I work very

somatically some clients are going to be like oh well nope this is like body is freaking out right now and they can't get out of their head or they're feeling a lot of pressure in their chest or they feel like they want to throw up so there's certain blocks that might show up And then we're working with the blocks. We're healing them. We're releasing them. We're integrating them, seeing what conditioning and stories are in there. And then we're continuing to deepen on this journey of movement and sensation and feeling.

And I used to say, like, I was a walking, talking head or maybe breath enough. Like, I had no feeling. If somebody said, what does your body want? I'd be like, what are you talking about, right? Like, what are you talking about? I didn't feel anything so there's such another level to feel and that's what I'm talking about in the beginning that trauma that go go go that busy mentality in today's day that has a running and running and running we're not feeling yeah we actually aren't feeling our emotions we're not

feeling our sensations we're not feeling our energies and they are here I promise we're just numb from so many different things in life and then add on alcohol and other things that we use to de-stress right right how many people have um you know in use other influences to have sex even they need it to drop in to get out of their head yeah when no you actually don't you can have really sober awake present sex that'll blow the biggest orgasm you think you've ever had out of the water that's interesting though yeah i mean alcohol is just a numbing agent so when i have a few glasses of whatever and i know that i want to go have a great orgasm it's not possible for me i prefer not to have anything to numb me because i just

i mean it's like it's counterintuitive right it's counter like productive it's like yeah but it's interesting how you said a lot of people for them it's like okay to slow down of the craziness of life but actually it's not yeah or push down a trauma or push down i don't like sex or i'm so embarrassed here all of these sensations that you know we haven't been taught about our bodies women walk around calling their vaginas their vaginas i'm going to say vagina for lack of a better word it's not a vagina it's a vulva exactly it's very we don't even name our body parts there's 99% women out there have never even looked at their vulva that's so yeah they're not comfortable with knowing even like in masturbating right or

getting to know your body and really like okay this feels good to me this doesn't feel good to me and know that's okay it's like we're giving these bodies just for pleasure as much as we were for other things in life absolutely and this is our life-giving energy this is the energy in the space where we can create life for women and even men have energetic womb spaces because we can then go ahead and create what we desire to create we can use this energy this power that is in our pelvic bowl to create a business, to create a life, to just have fun. There's so much more available to us. Wow. That's so awesome. I have so much to learn. I really feel like what's I thought I knew it all. I'm just kidding. I don't know. I never would say that either.

What do you think? So, so a lot of people have the blocks of just childhood, how our parents raised us trauma blocks of like you said it could be a negative sexual encounter that you experienced it could also be those little t trauma trauma pieces right where constantly told that being sexy is not acceptable or for women it's acceptable a little bit until you get the man and then put it away right what what well yeah the mom as a wife you shouldn't be that sexy right there's a lot of unconscious crap in there there's a lot of fear there's a lot of unspoken rules about how to be a good girl and how to be a good good boy a good man and and we both receive different pieces yes but there's there's a lot of and porn industry oh my gosh like don't get

started on that one. It's so toxic and it's showing, you know, that women are just turned on instantly when actual fact women need a minimum of 20 minutes of being turned on the way they want to be turned on before they're ever ready for penetration. There's so many things that we're just not taught. Yes. Yes. Well, foreplay, which can mean so many things, right. Especially for women. I mean, we, I think it's so paramount to, to be teased throughout the day or to really build up this sexual desire and want, and, you know, we all want to be desired. We all want to feel sexy. We want to feel, I don't care how old you are, how, you know, and I feel that we, like you said um have pushed that away for so long and yeah it's like uh I'm gonna mask it

with the mom I'm gonna mask it with this and I'm gonna mask it with this and and that's why I feel like a lot of marriages have disconnect a lot of relationships lose well that wasn't who I married right so how do you keep that alive how do you keep that um refining because it's really finding yourself through birth and like all the things that you went through right all the experiences yeah I think it's really important for both people in a partnership to work on themselves first to really come home in their bodies and see what it is that they want we have so much conditioning on making sure we're making each other happy and making sure we're being the good girl and the good mom and the good wife or making sure that we just don't tick her off right

like we're instead like really what do you want i think both people in a partnership can lose themselves so quickly and then we're talking about increasing and creating epic epic communication where you both feel and seen and heard and you're asking for what you want without going oh my gosh what's he going to think if i ask for what i want am i bad that happens a lot so really getting down to really pulling up and pulling out what it is that you want what brings you pleasure what turns you on what lights you up and asking for it and then also creating a really epic like sensual energy sexual energy in your own body and then bringing it together yeah that's amazing all of it yeah but i think it's like you said really important that you get

comfortable and sensual and sexy with yourself and then bringing that to you know your partner um so tell me a little bit about your get your sexy back what is this what is this uh program that you created so yeah my business is get your sexy back and under that umbrella I have many programs um I do work with women one-on-one men one-on-one and couples one-on-two everything is really really private anytime we're doing anything that's a little bit more risque or sensual or showing body, like my client's cameras are off, or I'm just simply giving them the recording and they're practicing in between. So I'm really helping them do everything that we've been talking about today. Depends where they're at. Depends what they want more of. But Get Your

Sexy Back is literally, the reason I came up with that is, it's me. Like it's literally what happened to me. I went down this, lost myself, depleted, didn't know what I wanted, definitely wasn't asking for what I wanted was comparing myself felt numb into reclaiming my power into reclaiming my voice reclaiming my all the places I'd been disempowered learning how to create boundaries learning how to be confident learning how to feel sexy again right so that's the reclaim part and then the reconnect part is reconnecting to body reconnecting to my inner truth reconnecting my sexuality and the remember part which is my third step of my sexy bag approach is that reclamation and what comes from that is this unshakable I got this this unshakable unapologetic

power that no matter what's happening in the world around me I've got this so that's the part that you know I take all of my clients through depending where they're at everybody's a little different whether we're working one-on-one or whether we're working in a group program actually have a membership it is for women only though the sacred pleasure membership and my jade egg program is a self-serve program it's all under the same umbrella using the various tools depending on what you need to really step into your power and step into your body and show up that way so what's this jade egg i did look on obviously on your website uh or noni right noni yoni egg yeah yoni is a sanskrit name for vagina which would be actually we do have a vagina just to

clarify it would be where the baby comes out or you know the canal right the vulva would be more of the out external area so jade egg specifically is a beautiful practice that of the daoist tradition as well that you can learn how to come home in your body learn how to tap into your sexuality and sensuality I want to say both words but all at once where you're re rewiring the neural pathways between your brain and your pussy which I like to use the word pussy a lot that's why that just came out yeah pussy for me is not just body part it is also the essence of who we are it also includes pelvic bowl and womb and ovaries and vulva and it also includes that power center i was talking about earlier that inner knowing of this is me this is what i want right

we come into the world in these feelings and thoughts like a two-year-old's running around naked doesn't give a shit who's looking at them twirling in the yard right i'm not eating these peas and i'm not going to bed they know exactly what they want so it's reclaiming that and the jade egg is a beautiful tool to help us get there to rewire those neural pathways to reduce pain to strengthen our pelvic floor to have fun and for a lot of women that have conditioning around sex and sexuality or self-pleasure the jade egg feels easier it actually have one here but i don't know if you're recording video right now but yeah for those of you who want to check you can check out on uh my website but that is a jade they're pretty yeah they're made out of jade um and you

can use crystal other other eggs you got to be careful because of their their hardness and so forth you want to be really careful where you do source your eggs from but you're using it as a tool and it feels easier to say i'm going to do a jade egg practice right now versus i'm going to masturbate right now right it just feels easier and we're also learning a lot of consent a lot of women have been penetrated without consent way too soon they didn't know their yes or their no so you're like sure okay right so we're we're healing that piece of learning what our body wants and if she says no to the egg that day it's like okay but you can still practice you can still continue to deepen in your practice reconnect move your sexual energy feel that in your body

and it's such a beautiful practice and like tantra and the jade egg which is the dallas tradition it's all a practice it's learning how to deepen it's not to do it once and be done it's bringing it in like a workout like a meditation like yoga yeah so is it working on building the strength of like the pelvic floor is that basically what what it does that is happening okay but it's not the goal the goal is to slow down and to reconnect okay to listen to your body to feel your turn on to feel your energies and then again move them in your body depending on which practice we're doing okay yeah and naturally it's strengthening your pelvic floor naturally you our de-armoring which is another healing practice to release trauma and built shame and heartbreak

and all this stuff we actually store our heavy emotions our bigger traumas or contractions that we've ever felt in our life if somebody calls us you know cat calls us or if we feel this goes for men too so or if we feel like rejected or heartbreak all of these things we're storing them in our more sexual areas so by doing de-armoring which you can do with your fingers jade egg a partner crystal dildo fingers is great too i love using just fingers we are slowly learning to feel and to release what we may be holding on to which is really powerful it's very interesting that you say that we hold those deep emotions in our sex area do you know why why that they're more sensitive areas right our heart our throat or which is our heart chakra

is our breast too right a lot of women and men will walk around a little concave right they're protecting their heart our throat our lower belly right we are those are our areas that are more sensitive more vulnerable yeah it's interesting i i mean it makes complete sense uh a friend of my had reiki at one point and said you know this was blocked this part of her body was blocked and she was like it's interesting because her voice was just not being heard in her relationship and it just for her she couldn't quite understand still the you know the pieces but i was like oh my gosh that's so amazing how much energy and body work is actually you know our body takes in and it's visual sometimes or it's vocal sometimes and our throats are very very connected also to

our pussy to our vulva to our vaginal canal to opening up um it is potent and powerful all the connections and that one specifically is for women but it it if you look at even diagrams they're built the same and you know it looks like the trachea and and all of these pieces and if we do we're very men and women both do not like to sound it seen in porn and seen as very very uncomfortable for a lot of people there's might be some sounding when they're they're at a point in in pleasure where they just can't control it anymore but to really sound to really let your voice you know allow whatever you're feeling in your body to come up and it might not always be pleasurable sound that's the really cool part it could sound more like a cry or a shrill or

a deep primal roar. There's so much we're holding in our body that when we open our throat chakra, we are also opening our sexual chakras. Gosh, that's so cool. I feel like I have so much to learn. And I love that you do this. I feel like it's so needed. And so when you have a client who reaches out to you or potential client, I should say, um, is it usually word of mouth or are they like, I've heard that you do this practice because I don't know too many people. I know other sex coaches and relationship coaches, but this is at such a deep level of body and, and, and reclaiming your prowess, your power. So when, yeah, sorry, go ahead. no you're good your question is how do they find me kind of thing yeah and are they because i'm

naturally it's like it could be a little you know nervous or a little skeptical you know going to this deep of a level yeah and and it's it's a really good point because we're only going as deep at a time as a client's body wants to not their head right a lot of people will be like i want this, but I want it now. But if your body isn't allowing you to get there, it's because there's certain things that have been showing up in your body, stopping you. So we're going slow. We're going really slow. We're checking in. We're making sure we're bringing the trauma piece in. Are you regulated? Are you feeling grounded? What are you doing to hold yourself? Because we could go, you know, into a practice and that's totally okay if it does, but your body could be like,

nope like shame spiral just came up and I'm constantly attacking myself so different things come up so we're going slow we're going really slow people find me on social media they find me on my website just get your sexy back but it is dot ca because I am Canadian I remember it that way um they find me in many places I offer a free call and we connect we talk you get to trust your body right does your body feel comfortable sometimes in the beginning there's this like oh i want this but oh my head is like nope i'm too scared right can you trust your body can you see you know and consent again a full thing if you don't want to do a sexual practice on a call we don't like that is number number one on consent i can give you the recording i can tell you what

might come up i can you know get you prepared you go do a recording you come back next session and go okay i struggled at this part or i'm not quite getting this like we can use sessions however a client wants so it's really really client-based and really really body-based their body-based yeah i think it's great men if you're listening multi orgasms without ejaculation uh you know mind blow like completely it is not what I expected you to say today so like huge it's huge I mean yeah I I'm not negating women's orgasms you know I'm not there's so much more like you said um third eye breast things that I had would have never imagined also. Um, but on that note, I just want to say that I am a hundred percent. It's possible

because I have had orgasms in my dream while I was pregnant. Of course, hormones. Thank you. What's the one thing that I enjoyed in pregnancy. And I would wake up and I was like, my body just orgasmed. And I was, I would, every time I would wake up and I'd be like, did that just really happen yes it did so I feel like the mind is so powerful and however you can connect that and this is what you teach right yeah dropping that conditioning right that was probably what allowed you in your dreams all of the contraction and all the don't do that don't do this your body was just like wide open and surrender and following its own pleasure yeah that was awesome I was like how could I recreate that without pregnancy

hormones that is what you can do with Tantra with Taoism playing with sacred sexuality that is exactly I love that example love it that's amazing yes yes yes okay this is all wonderful and I love that people really need to work on getting rid of all of the bullshit right around sex and pleasure and you know building that confidence it's totally you can do it in the body that you're in right now right you don't have to lose 10 pounds you don't have to I think maybe more for women well i know men as well who are really sensitive with uh you know maybe a little bit of weight gain or a little bit of this um then it can really get in the way of you know pleasure yeah that's the conditioning again it's thick right we have been told there's a look a certain

way and if not again we don't add up and it's bullshit like totally calling bullshit on that but we need to relearn how to really love our bodies, how to really respect our bodies, how to really listen to our body. Be more kind to us, ourselves. Well, I think this is great. Like you said, you have men clients, you have women clients. I know women are your specialty, but anybody that's listening and who as mine has been blown like mine you should reach out to her I will at the end ask you to give a little bit more information is there anything that you would like to speak about that maybe I haven't quite touched on I don't think so the only thing I would say would be trust yourself like trust your body if your

body's like oh I want this or oh that's possible like listen to that because very quickly we can shut it down with our brains right very quickly I don't have time for that and where resistance shows up it'll show up because I don't have time for that that's bullshit don't know like there's so many things that'll come up in our resistance. So trust your body, trust your initial, Ooh, really? And body is response to, I can do that. So trust yourself. Yeah. I love that. Um, so I have a question for you on a personal side and it can be at any time in any of your life, uh, with any partner or husband or, uh, what was your favorite date? and what was it or one of your favorite dates and what was it my gosh it's been so long since

I've been on dates I've been married for almost 23 years you should still date though different I know the dates are different and you know what I'm just kind of like being a shit to myself by saying that that's not true so as I think about that now I'm like uh yeah because I organize like regular tantra dates with my husband all the time I skipped my brain so cute how our brains work but yeah we have regular tantra dates where you know we're practicing the tools we're going through communication and settling and then practicing different you know techniques and tools like I teach couples pussy and penis massage and those are some of my actual favorites even with my husband so that sounds so many things there's so many things in there yeah like oh

you know the man normally doesn't know how to properly massage a vulva right and to be taught and guided that is powerful it was for us and my clients love it that is powerful it's powerful just to know how you want to be touched in general without someone else touching you so well it sounds like it's the connection that you guys really create on your tantric dates I like that let's see you're the first one who's told me that so I like that yeah we do them on the weeknights those are our weeknight dates like they're not the weekend dates we do Tuesdays and Thursdays kind of things so you don't have to go out doesn't matter if you're 20 something plus years married you can have you probably have more amazing sex than ever depends on the on the time

because I also know what I want and I also don't give in to anything less right so there's still always issues here and there right that's not gonna go away right I I guess what I mean when you were younger right just because you're more aware like you said and I think that's way better yeah way better way better that was disconnected it was you know after a night out with a bunch of friends after some drinks that was not the same as that really slowing down connected feeling everything in your body even if you know orgasm is not the goal either it's the pleasure right right i'll take an orgasm though yeah i will not deny it well the pleasure yeah you don't stop it but if you make that not to be the goal that is when we are hitting new new levels of

of orgasmic energy that is not the peak of orgasm it's just like these waves and rivulets and continues for quite a long time yeah that's really important though that's really a great note in there it's like when you focus on just the orgasm and you're not enjoying like you said the waves of pleasure and different shapes and forms that that is then yeah because then you're like there's not like okay i gotta gotta gotta i have to do do do right there's this there's faith exactly the do do do the go go go is what we're doing all day long yeah so learning to relax and love that that's great so again i know that you uh said can you just tell everybody your handles and your website so if they want to reach out to you and have a

consult, they can get ahold of you. I'd love to. So yeah, it's getyoursexyback.ca, for Canada. Don't forget that one. And yeah, there's free consultations on all my pages for couples, for singles, for women, for men, all of it. And then getyoursexybackcoach's Instagram on, and there's underscores between each of those words. And my podcast is getyoursexyback. You might have to search get your sexy back with kim coffin to find me facebook you're friendly personally kim coffin works great on facebook and yeah anywhere linkedin i'm on linkedin too okay i have to start listening to your podcast i'm very excited to learn some more about all of your lovely amazing information that could all help us so uh well i appreciate you jumping on

here and giving all of our listeners some valuable information and myself included so thank you so much kim and i would love to talk to you some other time if i have any more questions or i get listeners who wait i want to hear about this so i'd love to okay we'll have a wonderful day and thank you so much for having me thank you okay bye Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website,

CelesteMoore.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends. Thank you.