Moore Style - The Importance of Mindfulness in Midlife

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Did you know that men in their midlife are less likely to practice mindfulness, but are among those who can benefit from it the most? Many men were not taught to be mindful, yet will become more stressed if they do not learn how to practice mindfulness. Today I am sharing why mindfulness is important and how it can improve everything from your health to relationships. I also give you tools you can use to calm your nervous system and be more present in your day-to-day life. If you find your mind racing or you’re unable to take a moment to breathe, this episode is for you. Make sure to share with me your favorite mindfulness tools over on Instagram @celestemooreimage! In this week’s episode we discuss: [01:22] Men are less likely to practice mindfulness [01:54] Coping mechanisms in midlife [02:40] How can we practice mindfulness? [04:37] Mindfulness can improve our relationships [06:10] Different apps to help you with mindfulness [07:46] Tools that you can use to self-regulate [11:00] The impact of taking a moment to breathe [12:03] Other ways to bring mindfulness into your life [13:37] Share your experience with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage

Welcome to the down and dirty podcast, the ultimate guide to modern midlife dating. I'm your host Celeste Moore and I'm here to help you navigate the challenges of today's dating world. Think of me as your female version of hitch but better with over 16 years of experience as a certified image consultant and dating coach. I've got the inside scoop on what women want. In this podcast, we're diving deep into the world of healthy masculinity and modern dating. It's a fast changing industry. And here you'll find personal stories, expert insights

and candid conversations that will empower you to take control of your dating life. There's never been a better time to achieve your desired outcome, whether it's marriage, finding a significant other, securing a life partner or simply regaining your dating confidence. We're here with you twice a week to explore the viewpoints and challenges in today's dating arena that resonate with every man seeking dating success and love. So let's dive into today's episode. We've got an exciting discussion lined up for you. Get ready for the double D's of dating where dating dilemmas turn into dating triumph. Welcome everybody to another episode of the down and dirty. I'm your host Celeste Moore.

Did you know that men in their midlife are less likely to practice mindfulness, but are among those who can benefit from it the most? Does that surprise you? It definitely doesn't surprise me. One reason is because I don't think men were really taught to be mindful. You know, they're taught from a young age to go to school, learn what you can, be successful in a career, get married, have a family, then do XYZ and da-da-da-da and retire. and then even at retirement, it's like finding something to do to keep busy. And there's many ways that we go through and experience life is one, we keep busy. I know that my mom is really, that's how she's dealt with all of her things in life. Her coping mechanism is to keep busy. Some people go to the bottle, some medicate, you know, burying yourself in work is really common because we don't know how to shut that off. We don't know how to come out of the rat race of the doing. And if we don't start to practice mindfulness,

we become more stressed. That equals stress. And then everything else, physical, emotional, spiritual, are just, when we are stressed, we cannot be fully present. Mindfulness, in simple terms, is to be present and fully engaged with whatever we are doing at the moment. Free from distraction, free from judgment. And what does that look like?

Well, meditation is probably the number one way to shut down the mind. It takes practice. It doesn't happen overnight. It's like a muscle. You gotta practice this. But it can really help manage stress. It improves our emotional regulation

and enhances resilience. Why wouldn't we do something that's so simple in practice that improves all of these areas of our lives, allows us to be present for all of those important people and important moments in our life because life is so short. I want to learn. I want to learn how to be more self-regulated because let me tell you, I am experiencing in my life right at the moment now

where my body is in high stress because I am losing hair. It's not hormones. I've done all that right now. It is, and it has been moments of high stress. And the way that my body reacts is I lose hair and I don't mean I'm losing my hair. It's becoming fine. I have patches on my head, bald patches called alopecia. And the type of alopecia that I have shows itself in high stress moments. And it takes like six months to fill in again, and then another one pops in. So right now, I am learning to regulate my stress, my body, so that I can be healthy and happy and have those moments of beautiful joy with my loved ones. You know, mindfulness can improve significantly our relationships, our family, our personal lives. Think of that moment when your child was young

and you maybe were on your phone. I know I was because I work as an entrepreneur and I'm the only parent. So it was really difficult to balance that. And so I remember my daughter, you know, always saying, mommy, why are you on your phone? Why are you on your phone? And there's these moments that I would miss with her because I was like, oh, I just, you know, I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this. But if I put down that phone, just say 15 minutes, and I did this at times, but as she got older and I got more busy, I found myself not doing this that much. But when I did take those 15 minutes, the beautiful moments that I got to experience with her, the amazing growth. We connected in a way that never would have

happened when I was on my phone. And she at those moments, got to fully embrace her mother. And it was beautiful. And it's so easy though, to always be busy with something. We're adults, we have responsibilities, we have all of these things that people depend on us in our life, whether we're providers, or, you know, parents or we're just employees, we're sisters, we're mothers, we're daughters, we're husbands, we're partners, all of these things in our life. And so how do we be fully present? How do we cherish these moments that we're going to lose because life is so fleeting? Our life is so fleeting.

So one way is, there's just a good example is to use apps like Insight Timer or Headspace or one called Calm. So back last year, I don't know, last, well, maybe a year ago, actually, I went to a mindfulness spa resort called Mirabelle. And in one of the classes that I was in, I had an instructor and she was talking about Insight Timer. And it's free, you can get the free version. And there's all different mindfulness tools in that app. So one just for example, is to help you sleep. There's sleep meditation, sleep music. And every time I use that now at night, I literally fall asleep, my mind shuts

down and I focus on breathing or I focus on the music or I focus on the voice. And it has been a lifesaver. It's been life-changing for me because sleep has always been an issue. My mind actually races at night because my body is still. And then I'm like, oh, I forgot this. Oh, I need to do this. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, the same kind of conversations of my mind would actually speed up. And so it was really helpful now that I've been using this app. That's just one example. Let's talk about you're going into a meeting. You're ready to like, you know, be the expert or land that million dollar deal. And you're really nervous. How do you calm your nervous system? How do you regulate it? I want you to take three deep breaths. And this sounds so simple,

but truly it will create a space of calm. Now I'm going to do this right now with you guys here. So if you want. Let's do it together. So I'm going to take one deep breath in and out. And when I do that out, I want on my second and third, I want to release all of that nervous energy. Let's breathe in. Four. One more. Breathe out. One more. And then take 30 seconds after that and just be calm in your mind, in your body, and you can self-regulate yourself that way. And then walk into that meeting and see how much better you are. You're more clear in the head. You're more calm and you will be more present. That's another way. You know, you will show up. If you practice this

on a daily, whether it's before a big meeting, whether it's at night because you can't sleep, whether, here's another example, mindfulness walks. Mindfulness walks are huge. It can be at lunch. Or let's talk about first thing in the morning. I don't want you to look at your phone. I don't want to look at all your emails or social media because I used to do that and it's a bad habit. It does not set off the day right. If you're not going to meditate first thing in the morning and move your body or do some stretching Get outside take a 15 minute walk I want you to Look at nature smell nature look at the colors feel your feet hitting the ground All of the things

I don't want you to have Music in your ears. I want you to hear and experience Nature on that walk come back and then you can attack the day Whatever that is for you That's just another tool that you can use to really self-regulate, to get into the mindspace of present mode, gratefulness. You're setting up yourself for success. You're coming into a space more calm and collected. Because as we age, we plateau in careers. We plateau in health issues. we have major life transitions maybe our kids go off to college major stress moments that if we

are not able and willing and have the tools to learn this then we're going to be in constant chaos and that's not doing anybody good and i promise that is not going to help anybody you know yesterday i was on a podcast and great she's got a big audience she's such a great spirit But we started out before we started recording and we took a minute to breathe, to calm our nerves, to center ourselves in the space that we are in. And let me tell you, I was way more engaged. I was completely focused on her and the questions in my responses. And I truly believe that having that space gave me the ability to really focus.

and it really enhanced the show because we were both very present. Now, if you're having a hard time, start with one to three minutes a day, okay? Those micro meditations, those can really be helpful because you don't have to start off as, you know, you don't have to do things that you think aren't going to work for you. Start slow and steady, but start something. Like I said, use the technology apps that I recommended. I love Insight Timer, but there's Calm and there's Headspace. And just use those guided meditations. Use those. Maybe it's a gratitude one in the morning. If you feel like they really help, you can try one in the midday and one in the evening. Try that mindfulness walk. Engage in mindfulness eating. What does that mean?

put the phones down, the TVs away, sit at the table. I want you to smell the food. I want you to taste the food. Now, a lot of people talk about mindful eating when trying to manage weight. Make sure that what you're eating has nutrition, what it's doing for your body, all those things, and slow down. You can also journal for reflection, how your day went. I always like to recommend three wins at the end of the day. Because set yourself up for success. This is what I am talking about when I bring to you some information. It's how you can be better in life, how you can show up better in your relationships, how you can be better at work, on those dates. And it starts from you, from within. How am I reflecting? Am I showing up? Am I

calm and collective? Or am I chaotic and just rambling? Journaling is a great way to understand maybe obstacles, maybe just how to maintain your emotional and mental state. What does that look like for you? It could really be a powerful tool of self-reflection and personal growth. Now, I hope all of those, you took some tools from here today. And remember that what I'm providing for you. I'm not an expert in this. I'm just learning as you're learning. I'm implementing and telling you the things that I've done for myself. So I invite you guys to share your experience with what you do for mindfulness. Jump on my social media account, my at Celeste Moore image and DM me or share your experience of what works for you because I really want other men and

women on here too have different ideas that maybe I didn't think about. And there's all these experts on there, believe me, in this field that I'm sure can blow my mind. But let everybody listen. Take those moments. Life is short. Let's regulate our stress because we are full of it. We are on a rat race of life. You've got to take those moments for self-love and be mindful, be present of all distractions and judgments. Anyways, keep exploring mindfulness and your physical health, emotional health, and spiritual health.

And I look forward to our next episode. Stay tuned. You don't wanna miss it. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to support podcasts like ours, then please hit that subscribe button, leave a five-star rating, and or invite others to listen.

Your support is what helps us grow and continue to bring you valuable content. Thanks for hanging out with us on today's episode. Let's stay connected. You can find me on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image and I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's discussion. For all the links, resources, and additional information mentioned in this episode,

check out the show notes on my website, celestemore.com. That's all for now, but stay tuned for our next episode where we'll dive into more exciting topics. Until then, see you next time, friends.