Moore Style - The Journey to Better Sex with Céline Remy & Kevin Anthony

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Not having the type of sex you’ve been longing for? On this episode of the podcast, I invited  Relationship and Intimacy coaches Céline Remy and Kevin Anthony to discuss their insights on having hotter sex, experiencing real intimacy, and developing deeper connections to your partner. Join our conversation on tantric sex, changing hormones, and why you should have sex at least a few times before deciding whether or not you and your date are physically compatible. This episode, we discuss: [01:54] Céline and Kevin’s background and work [03:03] Why married couples seek out coaching [05:42] Their work with singles [06:54] The 2 main problems porn presents [11:04] Why sex education didn’t do the trick [12:32] Kevin’s sexual journey [17:38] How to know if you’re ready [19:32] Tapping back into intimacy [24:40] What happens as we age [31:52] When to start working on sexual confidence [33:44] What to do if the chemistry is great but the sex…isn’t [38:33] Why Céline and Kevin’s relationship works so well [40:39] Masculine and feminine energies [45:43] The secret playbook to your partner [49:10] Céline and Kevin’s favorite date Connect with Celine & Kevin:  Relationship and Intimacy Coaching with Celine Remy Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.  If you're looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome everyone to the Down and Dirty podcast. This is episode 17. We have Celine Remy, as I'm probably pronouncing that wrong, and Kevin Anthony. Yep, you got them both correct. Awesome. And again, thank you for being on the show today. This show is a platform where I get to discuss anything that relates to sex, relationships, confidence issues, fashion, anything to help people in the dating world and whether or not they're single and dating or new. you know they've been married for 20 years and they want to learn how to date again their significant other that being said I'm going to read a little bit about you both and Celine Remy and Kevin Anthony are an international husband and wife team who decided to join forces to create a

worldwide movement of true sexual empowerment Kevin the truth warrior is a men's coach and Tantra counselor. Celine, the intimacy angel, is a certified sexological body worker, relationship, and intimacy coach for men, women, and couples. Together, they are truly the power couple. They host the Love Lab podcast and are co-creators of Sexual Power and Mastery, an online educational training system that teaches the exact process to any man who desires to bring his A-game consistently to the bedroom. They guide couples, women, and men on how to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond. That's amazing. So you both are coaches for couples and individuals, which I think is pretty fascinating. And they're both quite

different what it what would be a big reason why married couples come to you versus and i know this is so broad versus somebody that's like single and dating or what or let me let me rephrase that um well one question why would couples come to you why would married couples well one of the biggest reasons couples come to us is because they're not having the kind of sex they want or they're not having the kind of sex they used to have. So a lot of times really what it comes down to is, yeah, we got together, we were single, we were having fun, we were having a lot of sex, it was pretty good,

we were both pretty happy. Then we had kids and then our careers and then blah, blah, blah all these years later and we haven't had sex in months and when we do, it's not very good and she's not really into it or he can't get it up, those types of things. And so they're really looking to reconnect

with their sexuality and reconnect with their partner okay yeah and usually it's sorry it's okay they always come from a place of love you know they kind of feel like everything is fine but the sex life they feel like they're more like roommates and we just help them bring that out yeah and you know that that is the case for the majority of them in other words a lot of times when couples are really not getting along well you know they're seeking help as well but they'll generally go seek more like uh couples therapy or something like that and i think the point salim was making is that while we do do that because it's a natural part of what we do we try to focus more on people who still actually love and care about each other but just want to

fix their sex life or even fix different parts of the relationship because some people they really love each other, but like one of them will say, I'm not getting the intimacy that I need. It doesn't mean they don't love each other, but maybe they're not speaking each other's love languages or maybe one or the other isn't as attentive to the other one as they would like. So those are the types of areas that we really focus on as opposed to, you know, couples that are just, you know, on the verge of divorce. That's, those aren't usually the people that we work with and, you know, we can help those people, but they're not generally our target. okay that's that's a good point because yeah if somebody's like okay this is the last leg

before i signed divorce papers i think there's a lot more going on than just their sex life for sure i mean that's just you know my opinion but um and then when you say you you help singles or individuals um are they usually dating are they not dating is it they're lacking the confidence to be sexual or i you know i'm just that's a lot of questions it's a it's a combination of both okay so some people are actively dating but not getting the results okay some people are single and they think it's a good time to finally focus on themselves so and sometimes it's kind of something in between when when we start coaching there's nobody then they meet somebody and we guide them through it yeah it's really interesting that the single

people because it really spans the spectrum right because you you've got you've got the like we've had some really young clients who come to us and say you know and these days this is more common than ever but they could be you know anywhere from early 20s up into 30s and they're like i've never really had a relationship i've never really dated and they know that they don't have the skills and so they want to learn it before they go out there that's like one subsection we also have those who have issues even that young with erections yeah that that is something that has changed a lot you know it used to be i mean because celine's been been doing this for a very very long time and you know it used to be that most of the men that would show up that wants

to figure out how to deal with, you know, ED were primarily older men, 50s, 60s or so. But now we're seeing them come in even in their 20s with erection difficulties. Of course, premature ejaculation spans the full range of all ages. And most of it is due to poor habits, to porn, to lack of true connection with selves and others. So they just need to learn new habits. I was going to ask that if porn is probably a big issue with someone that's young. I'm not saying that there can't be other issues or other things that are going on with them. I think that's such an interesting aspect to it because it's so easy to put on. It's so easy to get into that world of not really being in a relationship with another person, but just with a video. Yeah. I mean, if we want to talk just a little bit about porn, you know, there's two main problems that porn presents for people. The first one is, is that it's not reality, right? And so it's

presenting to you this hyper fantasy world that doesn't exist. And so people that get really into porn, they get really attracted to the types of women and the types of acts that they see in porn. And then when they go to real life, well, the woman I'm with doesn't look like that. And she doesn't do those things right you know so they become less interested in the real life because it doesn't meet the expectation of the fantasy the second thing that tends to happen with porn is that it literally physically trains their body to have premature ejaculation because what do most people do with porn they you know spend most of the time browsing around trying to find the thing that's they're interested in the clip right and then they put it on and and you know women might

be a little different but for men you know they'll just masturbate and within five minutes it's over right and so what are they doing by doing that they are literally training their body to ejaculate quickly they're not training their body how to last longer not only that they've got hyper stimulation going on exactly um that is pushing them over their edge too quickly so those are a couple of problems that porn can present and so people that do tend to use porn a lot tend to have more erectile dysfunction premature ejaculation and honestly lack of interest in real relationships and the problem is not so much porn it's how you use it so if you are somebody who uses porn and you realize that you never ever masturbate without it you have a problem if you realize that

you wake up in the morning you don't really have mojo and you can't wait to go back on the porn side that's all that's consuming this problem if you're somebody who uses it every now and then no problem right there's definitely healthy aspects of bringing in a video to spice something up or see if that's a fantasy of yours but when this is your only start a conversation you know like just yeah to help you out right well i think we all can use a little help once in a while i think we all need a uh intimacy coach and relationship coach right i mean and i think yes you all do yes and every relationship is different too or even if you're in a relationship for 20 plus years it evolves and it changes and so do your desires and wants and there's ebbs and

flow. So I think what you both bring to that is, is phenomenal. And you know, the, one of the things that is somewhat sad really is that there are a lot of things in life that we spend a lot of time learning about and practicing, right? If we want to do a certain career, we spend years and thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars on education. We spend a lot of time practicing it we do internships we you know work in jobs but then there are certain things that are sort of key fundamental things in life that we just take for granted and we just do and nobody ever teaches us how to do them properly so sex is one of those things people it's just like yeah sex is just part of being human they they treat it like it's walking or running or something like that it's

just something i kind of figured out and that's it they don't realize that if they want to be good at it, if they really want to learn how to connect with another individual and have amazing sex, you got to learn stuff. And nobody teaches it. Even if you got sex education in school, trust me, they didn't teach you how to do it. Well, they didn't. No, they did not. They just said, this is how babies happen. This is how reproduction happens. And we still didn't even really know what that meant. And this is how you get STDs. stay away yeah wear a condom okay what does that tell me so I know that I jumped there first but this kind of explains a little bit about how you got into this Kevin um your your sexual journey

and if you could tell people just a little bit about that yeah you know everybody's got a journey everybody got to where they are in some interesting way and both mine and Celine's journeys are very different so you know something can tell you about hers which is a little bit more formalized but for me really just from the time that i started being sexually active i was always like oh okay that was pretty good but i think i can do better or i want to be able to go longer or i just i want her to have more pleasure or whatever it is i was just interested in trying to be better at it so i sought out lots of different things. I read books on it. I took workshops on it. I had partners who were willing to experiment and practice and try new things and, hey, let's see if we can do this

and let's see if we can do that. And so that's really kind of how it started. And over the years, I became involved in a local group of Tantra people where we lived and they were constantly bringing in experts from the outside who would come in and teach workshops and they would hold workshops themselves even some of the local people and it was all really about just teaching people about how to have better sex and some relationship stuff in there as well and you know this is just what i would do on like a friday night or or saturday or something just for fun right you know like hey i'm gonna go to a workshop tonight to learn how to you know make tantric love sounds like a great time right oh cool but i i hadn't always really just done it for my own personal

development i never really uh planned on teaching it to anybody but over time people started to notice things and they started asking me so like one time this is early on uh when selena and i just dating and i had roommates at the time at the house that i lived and celine and i were having sex and it was pretty loud and she was screaming an orgasm and turns out that one of my roommates had a friend over and later on after celine was gone he said um can you can you teach me how to make a woman do what i heard coming out of your room true story yeah that's awesome so that sort of stuff started to happen a lot and even before that moment you didn't even have like strangers walked you like on the street and asked you yeah questions random a random stranger just approached

me on a beach one day and just asked me a question and i just paused i was so shocked i'm like of all the people that are out here in this public place you were you walked up to me and asked me that random question you know so i just started realizing that okay i'm being asked to share what but I know. And so I started doing coaching on my own. Then Selena and I got together. And of course, she was already doing her own thing. And it was just like, oh, yeah, okay, this is this is going to work together. And interestingly enough, it was a few years of us being together before we really combined the two things that we were doing. I didn't want to be that couple. Like you see this a lot in the industry where like, one person is the main person, and they're doing all the teaching,

and then they suddenly get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And now they're the new expert who's tagging along right I didn't really want to be that I wanted to give her space to do her thing and not encroach on her and it wasn't until a couple years later when what we were doing was so close and so overlapping and we were helping each other so much in our own areas that we were just like okay we need to combine these that's truly amazing so Celine you both met just through this type of work and then you started dating or you were dating and then and kind of knew what each other was offering or doing with their careers we met at the sex party okay and we were with different partners at that time okay and so we um we had been friends for

probably five years before we really got together as lovers yeah so remember that tantra community i was talking about well yeah we met at a sex party and we were friends for i think it was about four years and that's where we originally met we were we were attracted to each other and it was never the right time yeah like we were like dancing and it was like he was in a relationship that didn't work for me to to join that it didn't work i wasn't interested i mean it was just like yeah timing was stars aligned and my relationship shifted hers was shifting and then we're like oh let's revisit this it was a line in the stars like you said well i think it's just so interesting because you both bring a different dynamic

to not only your relationship but to what you offer i don't know if you call them clients but to people that come to you that need help in these areas and their relationships and the intimacy um so I think that's just a it's just a cool story and I think people can know that you're coming from like a really good place and not only from experience but because that you know education and you're just really great at what you do um so your website says um are you ready for hotter sex deeper intimacy and more orgasms who says no to any of those right yes please sign me up whatever it is nobody ever says no to those things but what they do sometimes say is I don't know if I'm ready I don't know if I can handle

that yet so sometimes they'll you know because people will come to you and they'll say this is what I really want but then they're not necessarily willing to do what it takes to get there and that's that's really the difference and so for us it's like what we do people when they come to us they know that they need our help and they know that they want it that's that's never part of like we never have to convince them they need or want it we just have to convince them that it's worth putting in the effort to get there yeah that's a good yeah exactly i mean even when people come to me they're at that point where they're like okay i'm just having the same dating experience i'm having you know things are not working out for me what is going on but it's almost like oh i gotta

work on myself i have to admit that maybe i'm the problem and maybe i you know so it's it's a hard look sometimes to look at yourself and know that you you're the one who needs to change right you're the one who needs to do the work so yes that you know if if you're looking at your your line of relationships and saying didn't work out with that one didn't work out i had the same problem with that one and that one and that one what's the common denominator in all those relationships you are exactly um so maybe celine you can ask answer this question how do you help couples tap into intimacy again um or maybe with an individual who was never comfortable in their skin do you are there some common practices that you help them do or is it a

the whole 90-day, six-month kind of thing? You know, a lot of people are looking for where's the magic button that I can push, especially for couples. And usually the man is like, tell me where to push, what to do so she can come have pleasure. And we take a huge step back

and we start to look at how do you truly build intimacy? because intimacy is not just oh we're in the bedroom and that's what being intimate is intimacy is about being vulnerable opening up to your partner creating a safe container which is essential for her to open up so we do practices we take again that step back where it's like you know things like learning to sink your your energy so because you know we are we all busy we all stressed out so just like looking into each other's eyes breathing together slowing down learning to touch in a way that feels pleasurable to her and to him because it could be different

all of these things and so it's a process we usually work with our clients over a period of three months okay because we take it out of the bedroom we talk about the communication piece we talk about the sensuality piece and then then we get to the sexuality part well it makes so much sense right you can't just jump in the bedroom like okay i made her orgasm i'm like you know beat on my chest i'm the king now but there is so much more to intimacy than just absolutely and then anybody who has like issue let's say with erection they know they take a blue pill it doesn't fix their relationship the same issues that's still there you know so doesn't even really fix their erection most of the time it's a temporary crutch

yeah i just what brings blood to the the penis for what half an hour an hour i don't even know anymore yeah right it depends on the individual but the thing is if the issue is mental or there's something in the relationship even with a blue pill it might not work yeah we've seen that happen a lot yeah we've seen we've had multiple men show up and say it doesn't actually work for them because it's not a physical problem it's a mental problem the blue pill helps physical problems it doesn't solve physical problems it just helps you sort of bypass them but they're still there get some good nitric oxides and blood flow going yeah but if your head is like i don't feel safe in this relationship or she doesn't want my cock or i'm half the man i used to be the dialogue

going on will override the circulation do you find it's harder for men to open up about those things like it's just a societal thing that's been ingrained in them like oh i don't need help just this little blue pill but then when they realize that that's not helping and they come to you or do you feel that that's maybe not the case anymore that people are becoming more open to you know i would say that by the time they knock on our door they've gotten to a point where they're ready and willing to talk about it okay so there's but there's probably a lot of people that never get that far we find out actually through analytics and when we talk to people that some of the people have been following us on our website for a year or more before they get

the courage to actually like get on a call with us and figure out how to solve their problem and so we know for sure that there are people out there that are still struggling with how do i talk about this how do i admit this to somebody how do i even get started but by the time they do show up on our door then they're like okay i've finally gotten to the point where i need to talk about this and so you know when it comes to men and say things like erection difficulties you know you you have the men who the blue pills don't work anymore and they're like oh I guess what uh what am I gonna do right and then you have the ones that are like I don't want to deal with like I don't want to be dependent on these pills I need to figure this out I know

there's another way and so those those are often the sort of the two sides that show up yeah I you know there's such a label and it's so bad but we all do it like that you know men don't require intimacy like women do in a relationship it's so wrong it's so it depends on age that depends on age this is another thing a lot of people do not understand okay when you're when you're a guy and you're young you just want can i curse on this show yes you can okay when you're a guy and you're young you just want to fuck you just want to fuck right you don't need intimacy you don't even need anything other than the thought in your mind that you want to fuck to get an interaction you just need a hole right so you don't need all that

other stuff in order to really have what you consider at that point in your life good sex however as we get older as men we start to require more than that especially you know if we've been around a little bit and we've had a fair number of lovers and we've gotten to to do some of those fantasies that you know we've had in our minds it's kind of like okay been there done that now i want something more i want something deeper so we start requiring more connection more intimacy but why okay so that's good there that's a cool thing okay so part of it is what i just said which is like okay i've done all those things and they maybe weren't as fulfilling as i thought they were so i'm craving more but there's another huge piece that we've talked about on our show before

and that is that our hormones shift as we get older so there's two opposite things happening here with men and women as women age you start to see that their estrogen levels drop so first of all let me just lay the foundation that both men and women have estrogen have testosterone and have progesterone so we've got all of those just a different level just in different levels and so women primarily before menopause are more estrogen dominant, right? That's what makes them women. So they have high levels of estrogen and low levels of testosterone. Well, as they age, that starts to shift. Their estrogen levels start dropping. And then you start seeing that the ratio of estrogen to testosterone is now much different. So this is why the cougars, the women in their

forties or whatever, they finally gotten over their insecurities, their hormone levels are shifting right they don't worry so much about their body or being called a slut and they're like i just want to go out and meet men and fuck and do all the things i never wanted to do now on the opposite side with men you're seeing the reverse happen so from about age 30 ish or so men's testosterone levels start to drop and so every year those levels get a little bit less a little bit less a little bit less and now you're seeing that ratio again between testosterone and estrogen starts to shift dramatically so now especially men who are much older and there's a lot of reasons for why the testosterone levels drop some of it is natural some of it is

environmental that's a whole other discussion okay but because of the current pressures from our environment the foods we eat the chemicals we're exposed to all that kind of stuff we're seeing these massive drops in testosterone which leaving which is leaving men much more subject to the estrogen so now they're all like i just want to cuddle and wow that kind of stuff yeah we did an entire episode called she wants a quickie and he wants to cuddle and it was basically explaining in depth that whole dynamic that happens and this is why in relationships where people have been together for a long time and they're now in their say late 40s 50s or so they lose the polarity in the relationship because before they had this huge polarity right he's totally driven by testosterone

she's totally driven by estrogen they're just total you know hormonal polar opposites and there's all this attraction they just want to fuck right and then boom you start seeing things equalize out and they're both almost at the same levels you know that's not 100 true but you see they're much more closer to the middle and that polarity there that hormonal polarity really starts to disappear gosh that's so interesting i mean i've obviously as i've gotten older that's something my hormones have changed and i know just talking to other people in their 40s and 50s and you know things that they're going through and that makes so much sense because it is the testosterone goes down and the men and their estrogen goes up and vice versa it's just it's very fascinating

how just a hormone can change a dynamic in the intimacy relationship part and that's the point it's not just a hormone people don't realize that the overwhelming majority of the behavioral aspects of who they are are actually driven by their hormones crazy i have to listen to that episode and so does everybody else on the show that's just fascinating we also did two episodes with actual doctors on hormones so there's two episodes uh in there i don't remember what numbers they are but you'll find them they're they're in there they have hormones in the in the title and so well because we're not doctors so when clients come to us we'll point them in the direction of like hey this is what you need to know and they see a huge shift like one of the

clients i'm working with right now she is 60 and she is menopause and she was experiencing pain because her vaginal wall was thinning so penetration is just not comfortable anymore so i talked to her about the importance of hormones and i got her to look into an estriol cream which is the only safe estrogen cream that you can use and she's been on it for maybe two or three months now and she went back to her gynecologist and the the the skin is thicker that's amazing so it's changing like she thought she was broken she thought there was nothing she could do and then just by addressing that it's changing things for her wow it's phenomenal i i just started learning about i mean this is a whole nother uh topic but um incorporating

peptides um into you know into your life as you get older for different reasons um just something that we naturally produce when we're younger and lose as we get older and anything from just immunity, sex drive, there's weight loss, all things that target. So it's, it's kind of fascinating. So I'm just diving deep into that lately, personally. But, but yeah, you think about the shifts and the changes. And like you said, when you're young, you just want to fuck you just, you don't care about those things. So it's pretty cool. What do you feel that your clients um should be sexually confident in themselves before starting a new relationship or should they just worry about that relationship when they get to that

uh meaning like should they be i mean i would personally this is what i do with my clients is getting into that you know confident self whatever that looks like so that they're more a whole individual when they're going into a new relationship yeah i think i think the perfect time to really work on that is right now and obviously you know i can say that because it's like okay yeah you you just want us to sign up for coaching and do your thing but no the the thing is is if you wait till the relationship starts you might end up with a problem because the person is going to be attracted to who you are in that moment right so here you are maybe you are not the most confident person you're not the strongest person and then you attract somebody in your life

who's sort of okay with that. Well, okay, now you're going to do the work. Now you're suddenly becoming stronger. You're becoming more self-confident. You're showing up differently in the relationship. You're setting boundaries. You're speaking up for what you want. Exactly. And the other person might be like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not what I signed up for, right? So what you don't want to do is show up to the relationship one way and then suddenly be another way. You want to show up to the relationship as who you truly are. Now, that doesn't mean that, you know, if you've already started a relationship that you're liking, that you shouldn't do the work because what happens if you change and then the relationship

ends? I mean, if you're just starting a relationship and you know that you need help working on your confidence, by all means, do it, do it. And if the relationship shifts, it's not the right relationship for you, but don't wait for that relationship to show up before you start working on it. Exactly. A hundred percent. I totally agree with that. that's exactly how I, how I coach my clients. Okay. Another scenario, you guys are dating, haven't entered a sexual relationship yet. Right. So I don't know, that might be very new for someone, or it might be a couple of months. It depends on how slow or fast you're taking this relationship. What happens if everything is so great, right? I mean, you know, that he kisses

as well or she kisses as well even there's chemistry you have a lot in common then you get to the bedroom right sex is terrible like just a total flop is it salvageable or this relationship is it still a possibility that it could work out or is it just like we tried once and nothing so i'm a big proponent of before you have sex agreeing that you're going to have sex a few times most men need between three to five times of having sex with somebody before their body really feels like good before they relax enough to get an erection and to be able to last longer and like a lot there's a lot of pressure on us men to perform and so you know some guys are fine some guys are like they can perform on a one-night stand like nothing and and and other

guys it takes them a little time to get comfortable and so yeah celine has always been a big proponent of hey let's agree to do it a few times to see where it goes and i think as women we need to cut cut them some slacks because as kevin said there is so much pressure and for us it's a little bit easier so i have been in relationships where it started really bad he had agreed to five times on the fifth time it finally was good and that was a five-year relationship wow so it was worth it had i said no after the first one i would have missed out you know i say too you got to ask some questions like when you say really bad what does that mean right because there are some things that are easier to fix than others right so you know let's say

you're like oh that was terrible like he didn't even really pay attention to me and he just did his own thing but he went for 20 minutes and i still had an orgasm you know it's not the kind of sex i want but okay it wasn't so bad you can teach somebody how to be more present and how to to pay attention but if it's just a complete disaster in every way you might want to think about maybe this isn't the right relationship for you but you know again give it a little time to see how it develops over maybe a few sessions and then make a determination if they're if they're a person that meets you in so many other ways then it's worth working on to see if you can get there. And at the same time, if sex is important to you and it should be, um, it is

an essential part of a healthy relationship. So if it's important to you and it's just not there, then it's probably not the right relationship for you. Yeah. And I only say this because today everybody dates so much faster, right? Everything's just really quick. And a lot of times they don't give them that five times. I mean, I know plenty of women who are actively dating and they're like, Oh, one day, that's it. And I'm like, well, you've had like 101 dates. Maybe there's a reason you had a hundred first dates and not second and third and fourth dates. So it's, it's good information for people just to like, okay, every there's other good things. So let's try this a couple more times yeah and see what happens think about that pressure on the guy like

holy shit i have to be like a porn star in bed on the first date or i'm not even going to get a second date i know add some pressure and you know the problem too is that most people tie their self-worth in how the partner reacts and that's a big mistake because there is so much pressure nervousness anxiety on the first first time that you're intimate that don't take it personally it doesn't mean that you know beautiful desirable it doesn't mean anything it just means there was a lot of stress in that moment yeah maybe we could work on how we can make this a little easier for the next time right that's that's a good um yeah that's that's good to know. What makes your guys' relationship work so well? People ask us that question a lot. And

we've come up with quite a few different things. I don't know that we could really narrow it down to any one particular thing. But something that we were just talking about in another interview recently was the fact that we can really show up to the relationship every day as our complete selves. So there's no pretense. There's no I'm trying to be on best behavior or trying to show up as something i'm not because i want to look like this or want to be that we just show up as our authentic selves 100 every day and then probably the second biggest thing is that we can literally talk about anything anything there's no boundaries and there's no limits as to if somebody needs to talk about something we can talk about it and we're capable of doing it in a way

that is compassionate right that doesn't trigger the other person like you we can literally show up and say anything no matter what it is and do it in a way where we can have a mature an emotionally mature conversation about it and i think third would be that we truly are a team we we play we're the same team we don't play against each other yeah you know i saw i saw a meme the other day about that and i'm like yes that's exactly what we teach and it basically was saying that you know if your partner isn't on your team helping you to be the best that you can be then you're basically an opposite team yeah you're with the wrong person well you're with the wrong person is what they were saying but yeah you're you when you're in a relationship

with somebody you know other than yourself which you should always be your primary number one cheerleader and like go go go stealth you know but other than that the other person who should absolutely be a very close second is your intimate partner yes and then your mom yeah exactly and then your mom exactly but your intimate partner the person that you spend the most time with that you share life with day in and day out with if they are not helping you every day to be the best that you can be then they're not working on your team i think that has a couple couple i mean there's lots of reasons how that works right how you're supportive of each other um but also when there's two masculine energies right that's the competitiveness that happens and then like you

said there's no competitiveness there's no judgment with you both there's the absolute safe space and um it's a beautiful place to be in i'm sure and uh yeah i think that that's huge i'm sure at some points in your relationship one has more of a feminine energy and a masculine energy and it's not always in the bedroom or it's always at work or however i mean it can be in multiple places so that's really really cool it's such a huge conversation that that masculine versus feminine thing and it's something that's being talked about a lot all over the place right now but one of the problems when you're talking about competitiveness one of the things that we see so often in today's society is the fact that there is constant competition in a relationship

because she's a boss babe yeah the society is teaching her to be boss babe bitch right and they're teaching him to be mr softy you know sweet guy right and so what are you doing you're completely depolarizing the relationship she's stepping up into hardcore masculine and he's stepping down into softy feminine receptive mode but you're meeting somewhere in the middle which means your button heads and competing all the time there's nothing wrong with him being uh soft and empathetic at times in the right circumstances and there's nothing wrong with her being the boss babe bitch at the right time and in the right circumstances one of the things that we see with women is that let's say in today's society you know she might have a high

power career she might even be a ceo or a lawyer or you know something like that and she's in that masculine energy all day long right and then she comes home and she stays in it and that's the problem when she comes home to her man she needs to let that go she's not boss babe bitch anymore she's getting into her feminine and that's a place where women today really struggle is being able to get into the feminine really switching back and forth they're either one or the other and they have a really difficult time moving back and forth between the two i would just say on the on the men's side there's so much pressure on them to be soft that most of are just sitting in the softy spot all the time and they're basically just not stepping up into

their masculine and when they don't step up the women will step in she'll take over that's what we do you know so it's it's a problem for everyone yes oh that's a whole nother topic right that's like a couple hours there but but you know men if you're listening right there's two women on this podcast and if you listened if you could hear the subtleties of of their voices and the mannerism the expressions that happened when we said that you understand how important this is both of them were just like this is so right right listen to that man because you need to understand this yes step up so she can be in her feminine energy and you become the masculine at home wherever i mean yeah like at work it's a big thing because it's like you said i mean my mom she's a doctor

she runs a a college campus and then when she dates because she's actively dating she wants to be the feminine but these guys are not in that position that she wants she she wants to have that feminine energy at home she wants them to become the man so if you will and um yeah there's and and you know so she's she's a doctor right she's uh running some sort of school program i think you just said that yeah school of doctorates okay so so the point is she's got prestigious titles she probably makes a lot of money he's probably thinking he needs to out title her and out money her that's not necessarily true he just needs to show up as a strong masculine exactly he might even at this point i don't really know how old your mom is but

he might even at this point be totally retired and that's fine he doesn't have to out compete her in the workforce he just needs to show up as a strong masculine man but you know let's just have a little compassion for men right now too because it's a really tough climate to be a strong masculine in right now you know if you're dating you're probably always afraid of a me too move like thing that happens to you you know like holding back so you know i just want to have compassion for men yeah and if you're a strong man you go i don't give a fuck what society's telling me to do no for sure yeah for sure true there's there's a balance right we got to find that balance or we just got to educate people that's yes it comes down to it you know that's

forever changing things are forever changing and uh and i think just realize that we're talking about energy feminine masculine energy i think if we can really start to see that that there's a polarity that there's an attraction in a dance and if we can take it to that energy level it can help people just to relax into it more and love it more so when i first um started uh the conversation with you both you had i heard and i wanted to say this till later you talked about each other's love languages so i'm doing a series this month that's just a mini series and i'm doing my next podcast on this and i just think there's i think maybe maybe men and forgive me if i'm over generalizing that they're like that's just a woman thing it's a woo woo it's like uh

some other book that she read and like, I got to do what, you know, but I think it's so important to know how we receive love from each other because you could be in a relationship for so long and you're not touching your partner enough, but just touching them on the shoulder or the arm is giving them an, a reassurance versus, Oh babe, you look hot. Okay. That's nice. But that's not where his love language is okay this is really easy to explain to men all right you want you're going to take your woman out for a meal you want her to enjoy the dinner do you take her to a restaurant that she hates where she can't stand the food where there's nothing on the menu that she can eat or do you take her to a place where it's got her favorite stuff on the menu it's an

analogy but it's the same thing in other words when you're trying to give love to somebody if you're giving it to them in a way that they just can't receive it then they're not going to receive it so if you know if i were talking to the men here i would say look don't look at it as oh it's just some woo-woo book that she read just look at it as wow this is like the secret playbook to women all i need to do is figure out how she likes to receive and then you become efficient and then give it to her exactly it's not that hard but but what we all do both men and women is we tend to give in the way that we like to receive and that's the problem is like oh i love to give gifts so i'm always giving gifts to all the people i love right but maybe my partner doesn't really care about

gifts maybe she's like i don't really want your gifts what i want is your attention right i want you focused on me so it's really just about figuring out what that person needs how they like to receive and then giving it to them i mean why wouldn't you you want them to do that to you right every guy's like i love blow jobs i want her to give me a blow job right you know it's like just give me more physical touch with your mouth exactly well i think once people understand that it actually makes it that there's less work to do it makes sense because they try really hard but get nowhere once they know what to do they have to work less at it to get more points and better results it's pretty simple right yeah okay i know maybe this is not a well i'll ask you as a

couple because i think individual it might be uh maybe it's different i don't know what was your guys is maybe I have to ask you individually what was your favorite date and what was it I guess I'm gonna have to ask you individually favorite date yeah it could be like totally not something you know I think the one that popped up for me was that um so we have a we have a weekly date night so we had lots of date nights but the time when we were oh there are so many but i'll pick the one that i had first yeah when we were in front of the fire on our on a mattress and we started playing all the games oh yeah that was good and it was like i was inventing games after games of like like command words that we

had to interpret and and different things and touching each other and we were laughing so much and it was such a good date yeah that's really a difficult question because we've had a lot of great dates um the you know the one that popped into my mind uh first was actually our first date and i mean there's several reasons for that but one of the one of them is well i guess basically the reason why that popped into my mind was because we did so many things that we love so you actually invited me over and you cooked me a homemade meal which was fantastic and then i happen to know that you love chocolate and i brought you all these like super high-end um expensive ayurvedic chocolates that were absolutely delicious and we devoured them

all of them and we got to talk we got to practice some of the practices that you needed to do for your sexological bodywork training so brought in a little bit of that and we also ended up having amazing lovemaking so it popped into my mind because it encapsulated so many of the things that we love great home-cooked food and you know chocolates and and really talking getting to know each other doing sexual practices having great love making it just was like all of those things and one thing that maybe and i know it's different for everybody but one thing you may notice with that is that in both of the examples that selena and i gave nowhere was there we had to go out to a fancy restaurant or we had to do a certain thing or it had to be a movie it was just things that we

both enjoy doing and it didn't really cost a lot of money it wasn't extravagant in any way but we both loved it well it sounds like you both connected right in multiple ways and whatever that was through food through chocolate through sex even with your games that was this intimate connection that really was important to you both so find those ways to connect right find those ways to really that first date was so great because we finally had sex after all of these years after four years of wanting to i know that was must have been a good build-up it was a good build-up and i still sent him back home it was a good finish too thank god right for both of us oh that's so awesome well i really appreciate you being on today's show and giving some of

your amazing knowledge and how you can help men and women, couples and individuals. And please, how can anybody who's listening today find you if they're looking to spice up their sex life or just be more confident in the bedroom? Sure. So our main website is sylvaneremy.com. It's C-E-L-I-N-E-R-E-M-Y.com.

And then check out the vault. because this is all of our like free stuff that we've created and eBooks and things to help you just have a better sex life. So it's selenrami.com forward slash vault. And then you can listen to our podcast, the Love Lab podcast. You can find our online courses. I mean, everything is there. That's amazing. That's a lot of tools. I love it. Yes. And definitely listen to their podcast. And i have a few episodes i need to listen to as well and you're on it yes i was on one of them so um well you guys are amazing and i i was just thinking how we can work together and there's so many avenues i was thinking like how it would be such a good you know a great complete package of

helping helping people so complete package yeah exactly yeah we we would love that and you're right there's there's definitely synergy there so if we can find a way that we can work with each other as far as like because what we do is similar yet different right and we can totally provide value to clients in different areas so we'd totally be open to that i love it well thanks again, please go look up seleneremi.com and all the valuable tools that you guys have to offer. So I will be chatting with you both soon. Have a wonderful day. Thank you so much. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing

from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, Celeste Moore.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.