Moore Style - The Low Down on Dating Profiles

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

As a professional in the dating space, I see dating profile blunders all too often. I know that dating can be hard enough without trying to create the ‘perfect’ bio, so listen in to today’s episode as we get down and dirty with the details of online dating profiles. I dive into how to capture your best profile photo, how to be specific without being boring, and integrity in the virtual dating space. If you’ve ever felt stuck with your dating profile, or like you’ve been attracting the wrong matches, this episode is for you! This episode, we discuss:   [02:15] How to capture the best photo of yourself [05:00] Tips to help you create a bio [06:07] The importance of honesty [09:39] Why both commonalities and differences are important [12:35] The benefit of being specific [13:37] Why and how to use dating app prompts [15:12] What to do if you’re stuck [15:42] When to not be ‘available’ [17:00] Dating app advice post-Covid [20:12] The exclusivity conversation Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.  If you're looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome to podcast 15. Today, I wanted to talk about dating profiles. This is something that I do as a dating expert. And I think it's very important to refresh your dating profile and make sure that you are saying what you want to say with your pictures and your bio. Because dating profiles should be a true indicator of who you are as a person and what it is that you're looking for. The more clear you are, the better you are at the filtration process of online dating, right?

Online dating is basically a numbers game. And also your life is always changing and therefore you should update your profile as such. Yes, you may have been a top dog at a firm for 10 years, but now maybe you're currently unemployed. Let's hope not, but you get the point. Just like in life, our weight changes. We may have gray hair.

Maybe as ladies, we have different hair colors, but we are forever changing and aging. yes I know it sucks but it's the truth so this is the one of the biggest ways we can describe a bit of ourselves and it is through good clear photos of ourselves making sure that we have really good lighting and I want to say sunlight is the best but not in the direct sun maybe I would suggest facing a window with sunlight. And so you really get a clear image of your face. Also make sure you are wearing a few different outfits in different settings according to your lifestyle. So maybe this is you with some friends traveling. Maybe it is showing you with your dog. Maybe it

Is you just in a nice outfit out to dinner? I would really recommend being as close as authentic you are, but make sure you're not with a bunch of bros, with beer, et cetera, et cetera. Just keep it good lighting, a good outfit, and make sure that you have on the right colors for you and a style that's also flattering. I know that I will not be answering any photos

that showcase you holding a prize fish that you caught or a deer head. I don't want to see any dead animals. And I don't think most women do. I mean, I think that I speak for most of them and I've heard the same output. And that is, no, I'm swiping left. So I know that that might be fun for you,

but keep that off your dating profile. Also, you might think that she's into you wearing a wife beater. And if you don't know what that is, that's a terrible name. But it is just a plain white tank top. And it's usually to show off tats or muscles or whatever, but it's really tacky. No bathroom pics of you just showing off some of your abs or like trying to be sexy, looking at the mirror at yourselves. it cries a little narcissist and nobody wants to date that. Lastly, I would say

no other women should be in your photos. And I mean, I don't care because I don't know if it's your sister, your cousin, your friend, your mom, your ex-girlfriend. It could even be your current girlfriend. Yes, that would be terribly wrong. But I have heard of everything that happens on all the dating apps. And yes, it happens. When creating a bio about yourself, I would ask a few friends and their family members how they would describe yourself. Sometimes it's hard for us to talk about ourselves. I know that it's probably one of the hardest things for me is when I was creating my bio for my website. How would I describe myself? Who am I? Who is Celeste? So I would say, think about your personality. Are you funny? Are you stoic? Are you adventurous?

Are you introverted? You're the extrovert. Are you the life of the party? But you get the point. Obviously, I do not want you writing a four-page bio either. So I would keep it on the shorter side, but as precise as possible. Today with social media, we really have a shorter and shorter attention span. And she will appreciate the time you put into this, I promise you. But like I said, let's keep it short and sweet. And maybe even on the story hand, keep it where you can entertain somebody. Let's be honest, men, okay? I have to ask this question and I know I'm not getting an answer back, but I would love for feedback. Trust me. DM me, find me, send me an email. Why is it that men will lie about two things? They lie about many

other things, but on a dating profile, it's two things that always stand out to me. you lie about your age and your height. And I want to ask, do you think that she will not find out who you are and what age you are and what height you are when you meet? I mean, she's going to know you're not 6'3 when you meet up, that you're actually closer to 5'7. At some point, you know if you decide to go on a date with her or if you date further than that she's gonna know you're not 55 when you're really 60 you know she's gonna see an id or she's gonna you know realize that in some shape or form you're not your true age so i just i can't wrap my head around it. I hear it all the time. You adding a couple inches to the height or adding a few less

of who you are or how old you are, excuse me. Save us all the embarrassment. Keep everything on the profile on the up and up. It just will, like I said, save embarrassment. I know women lie too look I I get it and it's usually about weight and age as well you know nobody likes to know that they've put on 10 pounds no one likes to know that this picture really shows who I am where this picture five years ago I look smoking so I would get you know way more swipe rights. But trust me, when you're starting out lying, it does not sit well with others. And it will say more about you if you're upfront and honest. No healthy relationship will ever have started out as a lie. Do not come to the conclusion that a woman will only date you

If you are X feet tall, you're X age, or you have X job, let us make that decision on our own. Maybe we are looking for someone that's a little older or a little younger and you just shot yourself in the foot because you said, oh, I'm 40, but you're really 50. So let us decide what it is that we want. I mean, the one thing about having your dating profile and your bio and your pic and all of that is so that you can weed out all of the other people that aren't going to fit for you, right?

That's the point. So you will want to explore the basics so that you find out what's important to you. So this should include, what are your values? What are your life goals? What are your interests? What are some of your hobbies? And even get specific about what some of your desires are. Example, do you love or enjoy live music? Are you into trying new food and new restaurants? Or you like to try different types of venues or drinks or it can be anything.

Or do you really love taking your dog on hikes? Or maybe you like to snuggle home with your cats. Now, remember, it's super important to know that you will not always like all of the same things as the other person. And that is actually a great thing. And I'm going to tell you why. It is great to have some commonalities with the woman you want to date. And I'll tell you, it doesn't have to be in hobbies.

It doesn't even have to be in some interests, but I'll tell you where it matters and that's in your values and your life goals. Because I feel that true lasting relationships or healthy relationships, you have similar values and life goals. Now, when I tell you it's great that you have different things that you both like because you will want to learn and grow and experience new things. And especially it would be great as a couple. Maybe she shows you some of her hobbies or some activities that she's done that you would have never tried on your own and you actually really enjoy them and you do them together. maybe you try something you're like oh i definitely knew i was gonna like that but

go ahead and do that with your friends and that's great that's a healthy normal part of relationships so also think about it's also attractive to women when men want to try new things when they're open to the possibilities of liking something and it would be kind of cool that she was able to show you that. And that would be really a turn on to her. So keep that in mind. Also, keep in mind why she'd want to date someone that is closed off and not wanting to try new things. I mean, that says to me anyway, that you're set in your ways and that there's no flexibility to anything. I mean, why would I even want to try? So you can just not even go on a date and save us wasting time and trying to get to know one another. So my whole point about this is you

want to be open to new possibilities and don't shut them off before you even meet. So keep in mind that values and life goals are very important to have in common with that possible partner. Also, be specific. Let's try to get things that you really desire in a partner. Do you really want to be... You don't really want to be vague because then everyone will be hitting you up. If you leave it very broad where you want to basically... Anything is possible at this point. No, you don't. You want to be very specific so that you can actually be filtering these ladies, basically, when all you had to do is be more specific in describing what you wanted. So the more specific you are on describing who you are and what you want, it's a good thing.

But I also need to say, please no cliches, okay? It's just ugly. It's nobody. It's like a red flag. It just shows that you're closed off and you're possibly not in this for the right reasons. This is a very good suggestion. Let's start using the dating apps prompts. So these are a great way to help customize your profile even more. It also takes away the guessing games of what to say. And it will help you craft the art of how the dating apps works. These are very smart and I am so glad that they started including more and more ways that you can

customize and get creative with these dating apps. Let's also craft your deliverance. You should stay positive in your delivery. If you are saying all the things you don't want, you will sound negative and that is a turnoff as well. Also, no one wants to know about your exes or any bad experiences you may have had in your bio. I don't want to know about your baggage. I don't want to know you coming into this already very negative speaks volumes. And trust me when I tell you, no woman wants to hear it.

Maybe at some point, if you're dating and you can talk about your past experiences, I'm definitely saying that that's a possibility. This is an opener. This is hello. This is who I am. this is what I want. This is not, I don't want this. This was my life that sucked before. Trust me, not happening. You are not getting the right swipes. So we want to be clear in it as

what is you're looking for an explanation of who you are. If you get stuck, start with a list before you start writing. So write a list of all the attributes you want in a woman. list any deal breakers. I say there's always three. There could be three to five. And I mean true deal breakers. You don't want someone that occasionally does drugs. You don't want a smoker. I don't want somebody X, Y, Z. But this is for you and yourself only, not for your bio. I don't want you to write this in your bio. But I want you to write a list of the things that you do want. Okay. And so this will help you write your bio better. Also, please, if you are still in a relationship of any kind, I mean, any kind, you're still married, but you're separated,

you're separated, but you know, any kind of mess, if you are still in a relationship, Do not be on dating sites as available. This can only be so sticky and ugly and hurtful to the other person because you're really not in it for the right reasons. Not only are you in another relationship, complicated or not, you are in no way actually looking for the relationship, the right relationship. This is so misleading. If this is where you're at, there are sites for people that are married or want to bring in another person as a lover.

This is not the sites I'm speaking about. The normal dating apps like, you know, Tinder or Hinge or Bumble or, you know, Raya are an avenue for single available men and women. you should also let them know if you plan on meeting in real life IRL how they say today due to COVID and some people want a virtually date or just because they got comfortable behind a computer screen and they aren't comfortable meeting up honestly there's nothing wrong with getting to know someone through the computer or phone at first maybe be the first couple chats, like trying to see if there's something there, but you will need to meet them in real life. I honestly believe we need more human interaction. We have lost the art of looking

people in the eyes, touching their arm as you talk, or even being on dates with people. It's crazy how the internet and the online dating has created this issue. You know, COVID also really did a number on us, the way the world is speeding up and how uncomfortable it is to be in front of someone because we have been known for two plus years that we need to stay away. We need to not touch people. We need to like wear this mask. And that has really created a problem for dating. So this double whammy of the convenience of online dating, the convenience of COVID, you know it's it's a problem so we need to learn how to reconnect with each other face to face again honestly this will this will be the only way you can know if there's chemistry and i used

to be i used to think that i would know in three seconds whether or not i would ever date somebody but as i'm learning and as i'm getting a little bit older i know chemistry can grow um but there definitely has to be something there. It can't just grow from nothing. There has to be some spark. Maybe it's not like, Ooh, the most passionate spark, but I know that it can grow. So the only way that we can practice and practice flirting and practicing, if that's a possibility, right? Because we got to meet up. I'm just going to give you a little information about myself. there's an example that I have. I had been flirting with a really good friend of a friend for months. Every time we'd see each other, we were clearly attracted to each other.

It was like great chemistry. We really got along. It was funny, yada, yada, yada. Then we actually kissed each other. We both realized there was not that spark that we thought there was. It's crazy, right? I really never thought that that would actually happen. I mean, who knew, right? I mean, I guess this does happen clearly because it just did to me. But once we acted on something we knew and it was completely okay and we both moved on and remained friends. But this is why it's so important to connect in real life. IRL, period. That's all I have to say about that. So I do need to say this though.

I want to talk about when you have a conversation about exclusivity with a lovely lady that you have met online. Maybe you found her, maybe you're really interested and you don't need to look anymore, right? This is it, you've had the conversation, you don't want her to see anyone and you have said that you will not see anybody else.

then make sure you are still not active with the online dating scene. Yes, I want to say it again, then make sure you are still not active with the online dating scene. We can see if you are active and even sometimes online. So honestly, only say that if you are agreeing to take off your profile as active. This is a huge red flag for a variety of reasons. If you say this and you are still searching, you are still swiping, you are still talking, it says one, that you're not that serious. I mean, two, she can't trust you and you have only just started to date. You're lying about what? What else are you lying about? So keep it real from the start. and always. Don't waste anybody's time. Don't play games. Listen, at this point in our lives,

it's like ridiculous. So life is honestly too short. And I know that is a cliche. And I said, don't say cliches in your bio, but I can say this. But it's honestly the truth. Life is so short. why play the games and why lie. It saves, like, it just says that you're not serious about this. So make sure you're not sending up any red flags. In conclusion, you will want to make your bio sweet and short. You should form it into a short story

or make sure that it is honest and interesting. Be positive of who you are looking for, what you want and your ambitions. Do not appeal to the masses, but be specific in your wants and your needs. Being authentic will allow you to meet the right person for you. We attract who we are and who we perceive the world to be, right? Whoever we are being is who we're going to attract. So make sure you are being that same person and always.

It's always good to be a little humorous. You know, life's about having fun and especially dating should be fun. Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you. If you're looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, I'd be so happy to help out. Please visit my website, CelesteMoore.com or find me on IG at CelesteMooreImage and I would gladly help you. Also, I am looking for funny, gross, humiliating,

or just unbelievable stories about dates gone wrong. So please find me on IG, send me your story, or even if you would like to be a guest of an episode of The Down and Dirty, let me know by signing up with one of my forums on there as well. I know we aren't quite there, but I will be promoting in the month of October

a love language series on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image. I cannot wait for this and I hope you will continue to listen here. I will be doing a podcast in October as well. Question, what would you like to listen to or what subjects are you interested in hearing about? Let me know by filling out my form on IG. Thank you.

Have a great one. thanks for tuning in to today's episode come and hang out with me on instagram at celeste more image let me know your thoughts on today's episode because i always love hearing from you all you can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website celestemore.com okay that's all for now i'll see you in the next episode see you next time friends Thank you.