Moore Style - The Ultimate Guide to Longer Lasting Pleasure in the Bedroom with Erik Everhard

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Want to learn more about how to last longer in the bedroom? In today’s episode I sit down with Erik Everhard to talk about the adult film industry, what women really want in the bedroom, and how to get out of your own head and let go of performance anxiety.  This episode, we discuss: [2:00] How Erik got started in the adult film industry  [9:04] Erik dishes on if he’s ever fallen in love with a coworker or not  [13:40] How Erik coaches his clients to improve their skills in the bedroom  [16:41] How Erik’s career has helped him learn what women want in the bedroom  [22:59] The different age ranges Erik tends to work with  [23:32] How Erik helps his clients perform better  [32:11] Why Erik decided to write a book  [36:01] Other ways you can learn from Erik  [39:15] How to get out of your own head and let go of performance anxiety [41:02] How men can be less selfish when pleasing their partner  [49:12] Erik’s favorite date and why Connect with Erik:  Website  Crushing Performance Anxiety 

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. So I want to welcome everybody to the Down and Dirty podcast. This is episode 23, and we are so excited. I am so excited to have my guest, Eric Everhard. I just want to kind to go over a little bit about Eric's background. He is an author, men's coach, and one of the top paid and most recognized performers in adult films for the last two decades. He has won numerous male performer awards and been enshrined in the Hall of Fame of the AVN and XRCO organizations. In 2010, he embarked on a transformational journey studying NLP at one of the top institutions in America. Since then, he has dedicated his time and effort to helping high achievers by teaching

them elite level sexual skills in order to master the bedroom like they dominate the boardroom. That is quite a journey, Eric. That's super cool. I guess let's start at the beginning. what made you decide to get into adult acting adult film? So I actually, it started back in 1997. And at the time I was attending massage therapy school. So I was studying to be a massage therapist and we would have a lunch break. So on lunch break, you got time. So I grabbed the local paper which was called the georgia straight grab the paper grab my lunch sit down and i'm thumbing through the paper because it's got all the band listings what's going on in the city that type of rag and i flipped the page and it's like bam there's this about four inch by four inch ad

looking for women and couples to do a porno movie in vancouver and this at this date and day and age back then. This was unheard of. I had never seen anything like this before. Right. And I was like, oh my God. And previously the girl that I had dated, she used to joke around and she used to say, oh, you know, you're well hung. You could do porno movies. And you know, I said, yeah, yeah, sure. Thanks sweetheart. Because any girl that's in love with you is probably going to say you're wonderful. Right. So I took it with a grain of salt. But when I saw the ad, I thought to myself, I said, hmm, you know, she said you'd be good at that. And I mean, it was just at the time, it sounded like the coolest fun thing you could ever do.

So I reached out to the company. I called them up and they promptly hung up on me. And that was when I learned that, especially back in the day, it was the 0.01% of guys that could do it. That's why you always saw the same 10 guys in the movies. because it was very difficult to perform in front of camera and again it was very difficult to let go of your fears to have the right mindset to have the right strategies to be able to get an erection in the most unsexy and and difficult environments that were possible so most guys couldn't do it and so they hung up on me i went back to my life as a massage therapist student

and it was probably about seven months later, same scenario, go to the lunchroom, grab the newspaper sitting down, thumbing through it and bam, there's that ad again. And then I said, you know what? I didn't pursue it hard enough. So then I kept calling and calling and calling after that. And one day I get the owner on the phone and he says to me, he says, well, tell you what, how about you come down to our studio and we can, you know, take some Polaroids of you, you know, see if you have the equipment to do the job and maybe, maybe one day you could get a job. I said, okay, well, it's better than being hung up on. Right. So, uh, I went down there and, uh, I walked up these stairs and knocked on the door and they opened it up and they said,

you know are you Mitch because that's my real name and I said yeah and then they just looked me square in the eyes and they said you fuck a girl first right now and I mean you know I'm 21 years old right I was just wide-eyed and I go right and yeah that was it about 10-15 minutes later i would do my first scene wow that's pretty cool um yeah so you started there and you i think i've read a little bit about you pursued everybody got you to come to la to the the biggest porn scene well where they produce the most movies i guess right yeah it's it's the it's the capital of the world for sure i think it's the valley canoga park i don't know how i know that but i lived there one time so i yeah that was like the the allure um yeah so you just decided okay

this is great i want i want to pursue this more i'm great at it i like it so you moved to la Yeah, I moved down to LA. And actually, it was a real test of will when I got down there because I arrived with $300 in my pocket. That's all the money I had. I had my car and I had one tank of gas. And the friend of mine who helped me get down there gave me enough money for one month's rent. and i lived in this tiny little studio in north hollywood with cockroaches and i i slept on on just on the hardwood floor and there was no mattress there was nothing and the clothes that i went down there with that was the pillow under under my neck so i had to make it so when you're under the gun you'll be surprised what you can achieve right and that yeah that's also where I learned all the techniques and strategies that I use to be able to, you know, obtain an erection everywhere to do all these things. Because

when I teach my clients, it's coming from the place of, okay, I did this. And it was out of necessity that I had to do this. I mean, you could be there on set, you know, you're working and the urge to orgasm hits you and, you know, 30 seconds in even. And now you're looking at the clock and you're like, okay, I got to figure this out because I got another 59 minutes and 30 seconds to go. And if I don't figure it out, nobody's getting paid. Everybody's paycheck is relying on me to get this together. So when you're put under that sort of pressure cooker, new ideas spring to life.

Yeah, that's a lot of pressure. especially you being the one who basically has to perform has to make sure like you said an hour film you have to make it nice and juicy and not come yet yeah no so yeah that's wow okay so so this is these are the tools that began to build the career that you are doing now yes yes so i have a question for you and this is like something that i find maybe this is a little bit more selfish for me than my listeners but have you ever fallen in love with a co-worker oh yeah 100 okay um not not fallen in love like on set at the time but have i dated and had relationships with co-workers oh definitely yeah definitely i feel that um i've known a couple

porn star is not super well or anything, but usually dating or, or whether or not they were married, it's usually within the industry. Yeah. It's interesting because either way that you go with it, it's difficult. And I think, you know, we could sort of, you know, meta that out to all relationships can be difficult. If you don't have the right partner, you could even be a high powered lawyer. You have to be at work all the time. You don't see your family so much. Your wife gets jealous or she gets resentful or, I mean, there's, there's strife throughout relationships in general. And in terms of when you're an actor, I've dated girls that were in the industry. I had girlfriends that were not in the industry and both have their pros and their

cons so it's generally always difficult but i will say this it's not as difficult as some people think i think the most important thing is that you need to be very transparent up front and if you're extremely transparent then at least all the cards are on the table and someone can choose to come into your world or not but then they are making that active choice yes very true well eons ago um i lived in las vegas and so the avian awards were like you know it's a big deal um and i was a dancer in college and even as being a stripper or whatever you want to say um it was hard to date men right it was like and this is just a very small percentage of probably like you know but knowing that this is okay this is what i do for a living at the moment

you know putting out the cards like you said right transparency and i think that's so important even today like regardless of your position your job um and that allows them to make a decision you know yes this is i'm okay with this you know it's just a job you know so i just find that very interesting. And I think, I think men struggle with it more in terms of being okay with it because men's egos are very fragile from that perspective, right? There's so much that we put into our sense of masculinity. And so I've always said, you know, in terms of the, the girls that were in the industry, you know, if they dated a quote unquote, we call them civilians if they dated a civilian the civilian always thought oh my god this is the coolest

thing ever they always thought it was the coolest thing ever to date a porn star until they realized they were dating a porn star right so because they're like oh this is the best thing in the world and then it's somehow they don't realize that when she's going to work what she's doing right and then it one day it hits them and then it's like oh how could you and they're heartbroken and they're jealous and it's it's never changed but it went from something that was the reason that they wanted to date them to the reason that they're always having strife and having relationship problems because they are now jealous all the time because their significant other is doing that for a career yeah yeah exactly so it is a catch-22 in that in that respect

I know. So I believe porn can be healthy, but I also feel that it's super easily abused. And I'm talking about in a relationship, whether, you know, married or not just in a relationship, because I feel that, you know, as for on a woman's perspective, right. If a guy's watching porn all the time and maybe he's not that educated in sex or you know maybe he's been with a few girls but he's really relied on porn for his you know orgasms or to think that that's what uh our really our sex life should be and just for example so you know i feel that um a lot of guys have you do you have clients that come to you and are like i just want to have i want to learn how to fuck like you i want to learn how to like please my lady and tell me the you know tell

me how to be a porn star in the bedroom well so when my clients come to me it's never specifically to become a porn star. And I always, I always tell them what you're going to be learning is going to be the elite level skill sets that you can get most women off at will. Anytime you can last as long as you consciously choose to, you can overcome any anxiety so you can get hard anytime, any place. And that's what I'm teaching them because I always say the problem with porn is that it is a visual media and the whole role of it is to entertain we are entertainers so in that you're going to be doing some things that suck i mean there are certain positions that nobody should ever do in the bedroom at home that we will do on set and and we know going in that

it's going to suck. I mean, I can be there with the woman and she's kind of looking at me like, okay, you ready? I'm like, yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Ready and go. And then it's like, we turn on, but we're miserable from a sensory perspective because it doesn't feel good, right? It's not the right angles. It's not anatomically correct. It just doesn't work for her or for me. But But some of those positions are extremely visually appealing. And since we are creating visual, you know, performance piece, if you're going to call it that, that's what you have to do. So, but what most people don't see is what happens when the cameras go off. so all the time you'll be you know there'll be an actress and an actor and we'll be having sex before the camera and as soon as they cut or they need to take a five minute break we're going we're going to continue having sex but now we're doing it exactly how it would feel good and so you start

to learn what positions are not good feeling and which ones are which ones work which ones don't and some of that you can get from porno but most of it um you get from all the experiences that you have but if you were just straight up watch a porno we are doing it specifically for camera angles that's it that is the that is the you hear that man that is the mantra yeah that is not what we want no um based on that how have you learned what women really want in the bedroom well you learn because when you're with so many women you you start to learn what are the physical cues that you need to pay attention to and so within the porn business the top paid actors always had five criteria and if you were going to be one of the one of the top five highest paid

actors you had to have those five criteria and so it always was you need to be able to get an erection on demand within one to two minutes of being asked you need to be able to produce a cum shot within two minutes of being asked not before you need to be above average doesn't mean you need to be hung like a horse but if you're tiny tim you're not going to make the make the cut you need to be decently good looking not brad pitt but you can't be someone that turns women off because the a-list actresses will not want to work with you okay and then the last one was the most important and it was you need to be able to bring something out of the woman that would not have happened if you specifically were not in the scene with her

And so that was the most important piece, you know, especially in Los Angeles, where they'll shoot a lot of what we call sort of gonzo films, where the cameraman will actually be basically a fly on the wall. And there wouldn't be so much directing, they would be hiring me as the guy to sort of direct the scene from the inside. Okay. And at that point, my job is how can I get her off? How can I make her forget that all these people are around? How can I make her have an orgasm and have the most amazing time? So that that translates to the camera. and so then you start noticing okay what is working what are you paying attention to and really for me it was after so many different instances so many different experiences being with so many different people and noticing what it was that i had to feel for and then noticing okay what what positions actually worked um you know what what was it that could give the

right amount of clitoral contact so that's what the main thing was and when you do that when you understand what are the physical cues that you need to be paying attention to now you've got a real shot at being very effective in the bedroom and it really comes from really comes from understanding okay what are the what are the principles now we said the the principles of women's bodies are all the same it's it's the application of those principles that's going to change okay explain that a little bit further about applications like pressure are you talking about we're talking speed we're talking pressure we're talking technique okay yeah makes sense So those, those were, we're, we're going to apply those because every person is individual.

And so therefore we need to be individual in how we apply those things. But the overarching principles, those never change because that's biology. And that's, that's the part that, that when you know what biology you need to start paying attention to, then it becomes much, much easier because most guys don't know what they're, what they should be paying attention to. so they go down there and they're they're lost but who really teaches them right i mean you say practice which i agree i mean but it's like okay let me see how many women i can really get off it's like no you need to pay attention to that woman that you are with at that time and really

like focus on on her right because like you said i mean every every woman is different Well, yeah. And it, and it is about your level to focus. I mean, that's really the most important thing. And it's, it's the most important thing. It's one of the bedrocks that I teach guys, because in terms of your ability to focus, it's going to relate to your ability to get hard. It's going to relate to your ability to block out all your thoughts. it's going to it's going to relate to your ability to feel because i always say look you know when you're with a woman especially if you're going down on her you're going to be using your tongue compass as i call it because that is what you need to be feeling through and when you can feel properly and you know what it is that's going on the woman's body will will tell you everything that you have to do it becomes from that perspective it becomes very easy because you're not you're not doing anything

that is magical you are just listening to what the clit needs in that moment at that time and then you're applying it yeah well i love it i think i think um i don't remember where i heard this from, but it's, uh, you know, especially at a young age, you know, guys have like erections really early in their teens and, you know, who teaches them how to, first of all, last, right. I think that's like the biggest issue and maybe teenagers is not a good example, but it's like, you know, this is when they start to develop and it's over years of, of relationships. And, and hopefully by the time they're in their thirties or that they have an idea of how to please, you know, their girlfriend or their wife or whatever,

but a lot of them miss, miss the whole trajectory. And do you find that like the guys, the, your clients that see you, how, what are the age ranges? Are they all over the place or. I would say they primarily um mid 30s um to mid 40s up to 50 okay yeah and generally it's in that ballpark and so if for example i don't know his name's joe and joe called you what um are some of the i guess from maybe beginning to end what are some of the things that you do with your clients not giving away of course too much information but yeah no no no um so what i do is i want to

take them through a journey and the journey starts with mindset that's the first thing that i have to work on with the guys mindset belief structure because you know if a guy comes to me he says okay i want to be able to last i don't know last for an hour or something but if he's struggling with his mental state okay well now if you if you can't get hard it doesn't matter like you're jumping the gun you're going way ahead here it's like first we gotta we gotta make it so that you are confident in your ability to get hard you can block out all the distractions you have the ability to focus right because that's so key that's kind of the first piece and then it's next okay well now we have to be able to lead in the bedroom like how are we able

to create what's going to be going on in the bedroom right and i call it bedroom leadership because you know i've i've gone through so much sex and and really started to understand from women. And most women, if they're in their feminine polarity, they don't want to hold your hand in bed. Right. You know, it's, it's, it's like, why did, you know, 50 shades of gray sell so much? Right. It's like, well, they want somebody to sort of ravish them. They don't want to necessarily ravish you. I mean, basic instinct. I'm sorry, guys, that was a lie, right? You can't expect some girl who's going to tie you up and go crazy and fuck this shit. No, no, no. She's going to be like, Hey, do something to me here. Like I want, I want to, you know, if I, if I love

you, I want to be able to submit and I want you to handle it, you know? So it's kind of a, you know, paradox because, you know, most women will say, well, you know, if, if, if you're good, you'll just know what to do. But you know, if the guys don't have the experience or whatever, then they don't know what to do. Right. Yeah. So, so then there's that piece. And then I go into, you know, specifically into the oral stuff, right? Because that is the springboard for everything. It's the springboard for you overcoming your anxiety. It's the springboard for even beginning of anal sex it's the springboard for just lowering the lowering the burden of performance you know if you if you're if you're sitting there and

you're struggling your mindset and you have excellent oral skills you can get her off five times with your tongue before any sex has taken place if you were to struggle she's giving you a free pass yeah you will get you will get a second date trust me right if you couldn't get it up she's gonna be like it's okay right i got mine i got five of them actually i mean would you would you kick a guy out if he couldn't get an erection but he got you off five times with his tongue are you kicking him out of the bed no but i did kick a guy out because it couldn't get hard but there was no oral before that. So, so that's my point. It's like, there's, there's a huge piece there where you can use that in a multitude of ways and it's very powerful. So then from there,

then we go into specific positionings, how we're going to apply them. Um, then I take guys through, uh, strength exercise stuff that is important in terms of you being effective in the bedroom. Because it's not that you have to be crazy athletic, but it is useful. You should have the right hip power and thrust power if it is necessary. Because every woman likes there to be sort of a wave, sort of, if we're going to call it that, right? there's moments where you may want the tender lover and there's moments you may be like hey i want you to fuck the hell out of me right like just give it to me when and if you have the ability as a man to play all those archetypes well now that's powerful right if you can step into different lovers keep things interesting right and so then i also go and take the guys through um anal sex how to perform it properly so that the girl will not have pain because in my experience

it's it's not that women have a problem with anal sex they have a problem with the guy before you that did it badly true yeah that leaves a scar yeah yeah that's interesting though i think the last one you really got me because uh yeah who if it's not done well like we just all think it hurts or you just get over it right yeah well and and that's the thing and and again this is sort of one of the i'm not gonna say it's it's a lie that gets um perpetuated by porno but the moment where we are doing all the preparatory work that gets cut out of the film so you know guys see you know look oh it just goes right in it's like no no no that that took me five to ten minutes beforehand to do that. And I have a whole, you know, I have a method that I call the push

pause methodology where I show guys, look, here's what you have to do so that you can open it up and it can be pain-free and the girl can enjoy it. But it's a process. And when you learn how to do it it's easily repeatable and the girl can relax she can have a good time and you know then she's going to come back to the dance again but if you do what most people do where they like okay we're gonna have some drinks and then you know no lube i need just guys to throw it in she's gonna scream night over and then you say fuck i am never you are never touching my ass ever again right it's for sure happening yeah and the things you know guys don't know yeah they don't know so that's what i teach them i'm like look i've done this more times than i can count at this

point and it works it works um but you do need to understand it and you know the the biggest problem that i have with i guess we're going to call the education system at large okay you take a sex ed class what did you learn i didn't learn anything in canada zero i mean they wouldn't even explain it would it was just some some pictures in in the magazine they didn't even say hey penis goes into vagina they didn't even go that far so yes you you you you see these anatomical pictures that's what you get yeah certainly nobody's saying well how how should we do the techniques right they don't know and most most of the you know sex coaches or sex all you know all these pundits out there they're just regurgitating something that they read

you know oh i've got a phd great how many people have you slept with so they're just regurgitating something from a textbook which again isn't technique it's not saying proper technique right i'm just and it's just parts yeah it's just this and that it's parts and then they'll say you just need to communicate with your partner better i'm like that's the biggest lie ever right well i really love that you teach this because it's like you said i mean you said i i've noticed it throughout my years, it's like, there is a lack of education. There is nobody to tell you, to teach you how to do this. And I think that if you can, as you have written a book about it, that's phenomenal. So

there needs to be more books about it. So when did you decide to... Second book is coming in about six weeks. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll have to tell everybody about that. So how did you decide, you just decided to put all this information in the first book so that was sort of a process for me uh it started after i was uh studying my nlp certification in northern california can you talk a little bit a little bit more about that sorry i don't mean so like whatever before or after

what would you like to know sorry about that no i just um can you explain a little bit what nlp is to people maybe they don't know what that is no it's a neurolinguistic programming so it's using it's using language um to help reframe people's thoughts to help them change the way they feel about themselves to have them have a new experience of life right so that they can go from their present state and go into a desired state right so it helps them overcome phobias it helps them overcome belief systems. It can help them with identity. It's useful in a whole bunch of ways. So when I decided to go undertake this journey because I'd heard about it and I said, well, that would be interesting, right? And so I attended NLP Marin up in Marin County

in Northern California and I went there for three years. And then it was such a holistic experience for me in terms of basically, you know, peeling away all the layers of who I was. So when it was all done, well, it was that famous existential question, like, who am I? But it was really, I was like, wow, okay, what's my purpose? What am I here to do? It doesn't feel like it's porno anymore but i don't know what it is so i sat with that for a while um from there i did some work with um with some shamans working with uh shamanic plant medicines that gave me some different insights and then uh a girl that i was dating in los angeles who was a civilian um she told me once she goes, she goes, look, you know, I've never had this kind of sex and I don't know what you're

doing, but it's really good. You should, you know, you should write a book about this. And that was the first like seed that planted in my brain. I was like, huh, I never really thought about that. And so then as things progressed, I started just bringing together everything that I knew and saying, okay, well, if I'm going to teach this, it seems like such a shame to have gone through this crazy experiment, because it really is an experiment, you know, and it's not something that I would say everybody should do. You know, I don't think it's for most people, but you will learn some things that there is no other way to learn. There just isn't, right? You have to have gone through all those experiences. So from my perspective, well, if I'm going to give back,

I have to give this information because I've got it and men can benefit from it. So that was what led to the beginnings of the book. Okay. And then from the book, then everything just expanded out to, to my courses and my one-to-one private coaching and working with all sorts of different men. That's fantastic. That really is. I love that you did that because I think it gives everybody a platform.

you know maybe i don't know what one-on-one coaching looks like and maybe some people are a little bit um nervous to to admit some of these things right but they can read your book or you said you have some online courses yep okay yeah i uh i have a course called crushing performance anxiety and that's where i teach guys the framework that i've used to be able to get hard in some of the craziest situations and often when i do my one-on-one coaching like i will actually show guys a video where i performed a sex scene in the middle of a town square at high noon with tourists and police across the street watching wow please come to arrest me later by the way true story um but in that in that video you can see where i'm applying the same

principles that I teach them. I've used those principles to be able to get hard in a frat house with a hundred plus screaming guys screaming while I had live sex in front of everybody there. And it's not that I'm not scared. Going into those instances, yeah, am I nervous? Hell yeah. but how do we overcome the nervousness how do we create a positive feedback loop in our brain so that we can move forward and we can now get hard and we have belief i always say you gotta have irrational belief in your penis like that is the the first sort of cornerstone of everything and you can't just fake belief right it's not like we're gonna just you know sing kumbaya and magically we're gonna get hard it doesn't work that way so you need verifiable proof

what i teach guys is my method to give you that verifiable proof because once you get some blood flow going now your whole system resets it's like oh oh my god it's gonna be okay right right And as soon as you have that, because the interesting thing about blood flow is blood flow begets blood flow, right? Get 10% blood flow into your penis. Oh my God, my penis works, right? Okay, great. And you know, and then that, oh my God, it works.

Now we can get to 20%, 30%. Once you're there, it's like, oh, you know what? I can do this, right? Now you've got that belief system. I can do this. Now we're up to 60, 70. next thing you know you're you're at full capacity and you're like oh you know i'm the king of the world right i can do anything but that belief starts from getting that evidence and and so

then it's okay how do we get the evidence and that's what i teach the guys to do yeah i think um i mean performance anxiety has got to be maybe some of the top reasons guys have say issues that's such a bad word but you know why men come to see you uh i've experienced you know the same like oh everything's great the flirting is great the kissing is great and then it comes down to i can't get hard it's like it's all in their head you know it's like get out of your head just like as as we need to relax to have an orgasm and get out of our headspace. It's the same. I mean, I'm sure it's a different mindset for men, but it's the same basic concepts. It's right. It's in some ways the same concept. And in some ways it's, it's also

totally different because in terms, and I talk about this in my book, in terms of the differences between men and women when it comes to the sexual interaction the decision to have sex is all up to you right like you're you're in control of that one like as guys you know we we we we hit on you we do all these things but at the end of the day you're the one that's picking you're like and tonight it's you right so from that perspective that's the area that you control okay but when it comes to the act of sex that's all up to us because you know as as you you alluded to you know if if i can't get hard we are not having sex no matter how much you want it it is not going to happen you could be the the you could be the hottest girl in the world you could

be a tigress in heat you could be doing you know all sorts of poll tricks on me it's not going to happen so i'm in control of that and so that's where we each are in control of one thing you're in control of the decision i'm in control of the action yeah that makes a lot of sense one other well not the last question but another question is why do you feel that i've had multiple women come to me and even i've had this experience before where are men just ignorant or selfish when it comes to eating pussy where they just want to get they just want to have sex and get to the orgasm i mean so well okay so there's there's two things there right and and so you have to parse them out okay for one it's do they like it okay okay and

that and that is very key because even with my clients you know i'm i'm very quick to say okay we you we have to have this discussion where do you sit on on the pussy eating spectrum here because first of all if you're going to be good at it and this may ruffle some female feathers you have to do it for you, not for her. Makes sense. You know, because if you're doing it for her, you're not going to do it good. And it's going to come across as well

that you are taking one for the team and nobody likes that. It's the same thing for guys. Like you could have a girl that, you know, begrudgingly gives you a blow job. Wow, that's super sexy. you know he's like you you look like a child laborer in china here you know assembling an iphone like there's nothing sexy about that right so so so why is it happening right so that's kind

of the first part are you doing it for you right so then and this is again something i do tell my clients. If you really aren't into it, then I will say, don't do it because here's the problem that some guys will run into. I've, I've known some guys where they did it and they don't like it, but they felt I need to do it for her because they don't like it. And for them, it's kind of a turnoff. They lose their erection. So I'm looking at my clients from the perspective of, okay, where can we get a win here? So if, if by doing it, we are going to inhibit your ability to get an erection, then you're better off not doing it. But the key then is, well, you better have your positioning skills like tight so that you can give her an orgasm or likely do it within the

sexual space right if you're going to forgo the easy win over here because the pussy eating is a super easy win and a win for everybody right true because um it's a win for the girl because okay well now she's getting off multiple multiple times she'll be super wet before penetration all these good things yes it's a win for the guy because if a guy for a guy's ego and sense of power it's huge it's huge right because everybody wants to be a stud and if you know you are it's it it's a type of confidence that isn't can't be replicated with anything else like it's totally different than confidence you know if you were confident um i don't know confident with money or confident in business or confident fighting confident in the bedroom

is a whole nother level of confidence. So, so you're getting that win, right? And then you're also able to use it to overcome any sort of anxiety that might be present. So there's multiple wins with it, but if it's going to affect your erection, that's where I'll tell guys, okay, um skip it but but find another way around it yeah no that makes sense that totally makes sense you can't force that but the biggest issue in in terms of what you were talking about there it's most of them don't know what they're supposed to be doing either and that's the big the big piece yeah because you know i i recently was at dinner um with uh with a buddy. And, you know, of course he's suddenly starts opening up to me and he's telling

me about, uh, this sexual experience that he had one time with this woman where he said, you know, he was going down on her and just everything worked. Right. Yeah. And I said, okay, well, great. Like tell me about that. And he's like, well, you know, I think it was just the connection or the vibration. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. It's never connection or vibration. And I said, and say okay well cool so um you know what were you paying attention to and i get that long pause and he's like i don't know i'm like there you go can't repeat it if you don't know what you're paying attention to right because sure if you were to try just anything maybe once in a blue moon you're gonna luck out and you're gonna find that woman who might have the

the same thing as men have in terms of it's almost premature ejaculation i mean there are women where i mean you could do almost anything and they can get off but it's rare but you do have them right and if you happen to luck out and find somebody like that well sure anything that you're going to do probably will work but that's not reliable that's not repeatable and that's not going to work over a large section of women. You're going to find most women it's not going to work on because you don't know what you're actually paying attention to and what you should. So when I teach the guys what to do, I say, here's what you need to pay attention to. Here's how you need to apply the techniques. And then these are the different cues that are

going to let you know what's working and what's not. And therefore you have sort of a GPS to be able to find the way home. Yeah. And please women stop faking orgasms. It doesn't, it doesn't nobody's benefit. You know, it's really, it's like, okay, let's be more vocal too, though. You know, it's, it's on our part too. It's like, okay, I know what I like. So if he's not doing this, it's okay to talk to him and tell him what I do like. Yeah. And that's true. And if he's, if he's paying attention to the right bodily cues he'll know true and you won't need to tell him yeah right because there are certain things there are certain things that'll happen with a woman's body that can't be faked and so that's that's really like when i look at the cues that

i'll take guys through an auditory cue is what i call a secondary cue and that ranks number three in terms of what you should be paying attention to so it it's useful if you have the other two that you know are working then you can say okay i can trust this auditory cue yeah but to just say oh you know she screamed well i mean she could be doing her thespian best too right and you wouldn't know exactly well this is amazing i really really have learned so much i know that you hopefully will continue to educate because it's so important um with women will love you for it and praise you for it um i'm just wondering if i had any other questions today okay i have two more questions and i know you have a book coming out in six weeks um i will

get to that in two seconds so just for my listeners what so like you know broad but what has been maybe your favorite date and why or what has it been my favorite date oh my anything that pops in your head actually when i think about favorite date was probably um one of my one of my ex-girlfriends uh our first date she she hit me up from twitter and we started, um, we started some, some flirtatious banter and then she, she sort of posed a challenge to me. So our first date, she actually just came over to my place, but, but it was, it was so, there was such a cute innocence to it. And, um, I still remember because she, she stepped out of her car and there were no words. I just grabbed her and started making out with her. And that

was my introduction because we had never met face to face and she was like oh wow okay it's gonna start like that yeah yeah that's probably one of my more memorable ones i love it um well for everybody listening um where can everyone find you on your socials and also i'll let you talk about things that are being released if that's what you want to talk about uh so that they can master the bedroom like they master the boardroom yeah sure um well everybody can find me at ericeverhard.com that is my coaching platform so they can find access to all my courses I have the Everhard Academy coming in 2023, and that's going to be the massive program that I've built, which blends lecture material with explicit instruction. And then in probably about six weeks time, we have my new book, which is The Tao of Eating Pussy, A Porn Star's Guide to Clitoral Mastery.

Yes. And that is fully illustrated. It goes through everything step-by-step, my process, how it works, and there are also going to be some video resources that people can access through the book as well so that they really have their technique down. Because it's one thing for me to just tell people what to do. It's another thing to show them step-by-step, hey, here's what you're doing. Here's the technique that we're going to be doing with our tongues.

here's what we're paying attention to and therefore they can go out and they can repeat and they can master and you know all the guys that i've taught the techniques to when i when i really show them what it is that they need to be paying attention to it's it's like an epiphany in terms of things that they just didn't notice and it's like once you know what you're looking for you can't unsee it so that's why when i teach guys that it's just so effective well men are so visual too right i but i really think like hands-on experience is like the best learning technique especially for something like that that's phenomenal i'm so excited and thank you so much for being on today's show and i

enjoyed our talk and i know that um i'll have all the social stuff come to you um so that you can put that up on all your platforms. Not sure when it's going to be launched due to the holidays. My team, I think just stopped. They took like a two week break. So, but I will send you all that information. Oh yeah. Just send everything my way and I'll, I'll post everything up. Awesome. Thank you, Eric. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the holidays. Thank you. Looking forward to it. Thanks. Bye-bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing

from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, Celeste more.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends. Thank you.