Morbid - Buried Alive

Episode Date: August 8, 2021

"If the beard wags, please no body bags." Today, Alaina is going to take you on a journey that you never wanted to take. Today, we go into the fear, history and hysteria around the idea of premature burial. In this episode, you will learn about screaming and chewing corpses, methods of making sure the dead is really dead, patented safety coffins and examples of real people who were buried alive. Maybe listen to this one in a big open field? Or the open ocean? I don't know. It may help.  Great resource: Buried Alive: The Terrifying History of Our Most Primal Fear by Jan Bondeson Ph.D Hellofresh Go to HelloFresh.com/morbid14 and use code morbid14 for up to 14 free meals, plus free shipping!” Good r x Start saving up to 80% on your prescriptions today. Go to Good R X .com/morbid.  Upstart Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to UPSTART.com/MORBID. Pretty Litter Love is putting your cat’s health first with PrettyLitter. Do what I did and make the switch TODAY by visiting PrettyLitter.com and use promo code morbid for 20% off your first order.  Noom Start building better habits for healthier, long-term results. Sign up for your trial at Noom.com/Morbid Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. And this is morbid. It's finally morbid buried alive time. A Friday morbid, a feel-good morbid, just, you know, bury yourself alive. A feel-good, you know, everybody's phobia. I'm pretty sure we're bringing it here to the forefront today on this Friday. What in your brain was like, oh, yeah, like what made you think of that? Um, you know what it was? I was reading some other case and there was another article I saw, or no, excuse me, there was a book I saw that was like about Buried Alive. And I was like, I want that book. And I looked at it and I was like, oh, that's like a fucked up book. Then I was like, I'm going to buy that book. And then I bought that book. And then I started reading it. And holy hell, it is like the complete, in fact,

let me tell you what the book is because everybody should read it. Hold your horses, everybody. I hoped you held all of those horses because I looked it up because I don't know where the actual physical book is. It's not in my general vicinity right now. But it's called Buried Alive, the terrifying history of our most primal fear. And it's by Jan Bondison. A PhD. A PhD. Oh, Jan, look at you. A Ph. Dizzle. She was never like Marsha, Marcia. She was like PhD a Dia. Exactly. There you go. And it's an amazing. book, it's terrifying. It is all encompassing. It'll feel like you're being buried alive by like the scariest information ever. Every time you say buried alive, I don't know if you've noticed, but I

literally have to take a deep breath. You're going to have a problem with this episode then. I feel like I'll probably have a panic attack. Because I got about 10 pages of talking about being buried alone. That sounds awesome. Thanks for signing me up for that. Well, in case you were wondering, the phobia, the name of the phobia for fear of premature burial is taffapophobia. Taffaphaphobia. Because taphos is from the Greek word meaning tombs or graves and phobia is obviously like a deep fear or dread. All right. Yeah. That just reminded me of my big fat Greek wedding. Absolutely. Because he says like all words derive from. Oh, there you go. Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. There it is. There it is. I got you. Got you got me. I was like how. Tell me how. He's like driving on his school. He comes from the Greek word.

You're right. Actually. And I feel like it's true. It is. Because I feel like every time. we go into something like that where we're like, well, it derives from the Greek word. A lot of things derive from Greek words and Latin words. Yeah, exactly. So there you go. The more you know. Yeah, don't leave a review and say I'm dumb because I'm not. Maybe I am because I'm like, what? How does that happen? No, our brains just work in the most different ways. They truly, truly do. So it also, I think everybody can agree that it very closely goes with like claustophobia. Yeah. You know? Of course. Because I think part of the whole. whole thing is fear of tight spaces. Yeah. You're being closed in inside of the earth. Yeah. I also think

it's like the fear of just like choking on dirt and that's how you die. That too. Like you'd be like suffocated. Yeah. I mean you would hope that yeah. I mean, you would hope you'd be in a coffin so you wouldn't choke on dirt, but you just kind of suffocate on no oxygen, I suppose. So I mean, either way, it's really not fun. I just don't like it. It's really not fun. And I actually in the book that I'm writing, I have like I had to do a ton of research into this particular thing because of something in that book. And the more I read about it. Way to work your way around that.

The more I read about it, the more I realized that the, like, there's such a science to it, too, like with how long you could survive with however much oxygen you have in there. It's like smaller people are going to survive longer because there's more oxygen. There's more space around them in the box. So there's more oxygen to take. It's like if you're in better shape, you're in better shape. You're going to sell, fuck me, right? Go listen to that new mad.

I'm working on it, okay? It's call about 2021, I suppose. I don't know. It's like I'm calling myself out. Honestly, during this pandemic, like, I don't think any of us are doing. We're all fucked. We're going to do great in a box right now. I think we're all going to be in trouble.

But people who suffer from these things obviously tend to have like panic attacks or panic symptoms whenever they are in in closed spaces because it feels like. they are being buried or are going to be forgotten in a room or something of the life. I literally have that on elevators. I can't do elevators. I hate elevators. They freak me out. I think of not only like getting stuck in one because that's literally happened to me.

I think of getting murdered in one. And I think of, um, I lost my train of thought. It dropping. Uh, it dropping. And I always think of how fucking dirty they are. Yeah. Because I feel like elevators are filthy. Well, they're just like a little germ pool.

Just a little cube of petri dish. A little vestibule of nasty. There you go. That's way better than mine. I like that. But yeah, and I'm always scared of those weird videos you'll see where someone goes to walk out of an elevator and it drops and they get like cracked in half or something. Yeah, it's terrible. It do be like that.

But one of the most well-known or what people think is the most well-known tapophobic is Agriall and Poe. And there really isn't a lot of concrete evidence to say that he was absolutely taffophobic in life. people rely a lot on his stories being so heavily focused on this idea but I think that maybe it was something one he was just interested in writing about and two it was a common fear of the time especially that time so he knew it was going to resonate with readers I think it was just him thinking of the scariest thing he could think of because that's back when they would do like the oh honey we're going to get all into it oh yeah we're going to get all into it it's also said that he was afraid of the dark a lot of people say that which may have all

also led people to put that along with a possible phobia of tight spaces and boopoop, he's taffophobic now. He also did have a story about being buried alive, but again, he's a horror writer. That's a scary thing. It doesn't necessarily mean it's your fear, but you know it's a lot of other people's fear. Right, exactly. And actually, this woman, Susan Archer Weiss was the one who claimed she knew Poe in his last few years of life, and she said that he was definitely taffapophobic.

She wrote a book called Home Life of Poe about him. Don't worry for anybody who knows like Poe barely well and knows this name and it's like, what the fuck? There is, she's not totally to be relied upon just so you know. But I wanted to put it in here because this might have been the reason why people hang on to the fact that he was like, this is such a well-known topophobic. So in that book, Home Life with Poe, she wrote, Mr. John McKenzie, and speaking of Edgar, bore witness to his high spirit and

pluckiness in occasional schoolboy encounters, and also to his timidity in regard of being alone at night and his belief in in fear of the supernatural. He had heard Poe say when grown that the most horrible thing he could imagine as a boy was to feel an ice-cold hand laid upon his face in a pitch-dark room when alone at night, or to awaken in semi-darkness and see an evil face gazing close into his own, and that these fancies had so haunted him that he would often keep his head under the pet bed covering until nearly suffocated. Now, this is what people point to to be like, oh, he's afraid of the dark. And it's like, no, I think he's just afraid of nightmare shit in the dark. I think he just can't shut his writer brain off. Exactly. And it's like, those are pretty,

like, yeah, those are the most terrifying things I can imagine. And I'm not really phobic of the dark. No, and those are also just like really common fears. And to me, him putting, her saying like he would go under the bed covering until nearly suffocated, I don't think he was halfophobic. If he could do that. Well, that's the other thing. I'm like, how can you say that he did that? And then he was tapophobic. So she was often said to be kind of a liar when it comes to how close she was with him. But either way, that seems to be why a lot of people point to it.

It was like a Poe groupie. So I think she was a Poe groupie. But that's just a little interesting tidbit. Because a lot of people when talking about Buried Alive, they immediately go to Poe. Yeah, because of his stories. But like, it's really not that much of a connection. So let's start at 1670. Shall we? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's go, girls. There is a book entitled, and I'm just starting

back here because this is like the beginning of people being like really fucking worried about what's happening in a grave after people die. Really fucking concerned about that. Like obviously shit happened before this, but like this is when people were just starting to go like really crazy about it. You know, the 1600s were truly a time. It was the time when people just starting getting like real worried about everything. Yeah. They were just like, whoa, let's concentrate on stuff. Meanwhile, like we should be worried about everything right now. Well, yeah. And I think it's like overkill now. It's like we flipped it completely around.

But there was a book called, no, I'm going to butcher this and I apologize. De Miraculous Mororium. De Miraculous Moratorium. And it was by Christian Frederick Garmin. Now this had a wild chapter in this book. It was a wild, wild chapter. The chapter discussed a thing called Mastakachio Mortorium, which is supposedly And I butchered that, I'm sorry.

I think you did a good effort. Which is supposedly the tendency of a corpse to eat its death shrouds and try to eat its own fingers and arms and shit after death. What? Yep. What happens is you'll be walking past a tomb. I will be. As one does. You will be.

And suddenly you'll hear like a groan, which is normally when you call ghost hunters. But not this time. Or when you just like dip. Because after this groan, you will hear loud chewing and smacking sounds as this corpse begins to eat itself. This would send me to the moon because I have misophonia and I can't scan chewing sounds. So this would be me being like, bye. Like I would just leave because I couldn't handle that sound of slag.

But that's the real, that's, I mean, that's the real nightmare for me. But like for others, it might be the fact that there is a corpse eating itself. You gave me like secondhand misophonia. Yeah. And even hearing the like term smack. sounds, all of a sudden I started hearing them and I can't even think of it. But this book cited instances where people would exhum corpses and find that they had chewed on themselves. But like how was there any evidence that they chewed on themselves? Because in some of these sources, they would find

bits of flesh in their teeth and shit. Ew. It was apparently a sign of bad luck coming, like famine or disease or some shit. Something terrible coming. That's crazy. Okay. Let me be devil's advocate, and this is just like a straight up question, could like insects eat you and then go into your mouth and like leave bits of like flesh that they had eaten elsewhere or like animals even? No. No. I mean, that's, that would be a stretch for them just to like crawl in your mouth and leave a scrap of flesh. I don't know. It seems like a stretch to eat yourself after you die. I think a lot of this was probably exaggerated. Yeah. But there are weird instance. And this was the first beginning of people saying, well, wait a second. So are people alive when they're being buried?

And they're like going so crazy under there that they start like gnawing at their own arms and shit. So this is the first like, whoa, wait a second. So in 1679, a guy named Philip Rour, who was a popular theologian at the time, published a 24 page like dissertation, basically. And it was called Mastication Mortarium. or the chewing of the dead. Oh. This was, now this was also in the vampire panic time. So this is in the time when everyone is assuming there's vampires just running about trying to eat people.

There is. And people were sure that those who died would also suddenly come to life and start chewing on themselves, everything around them, and then come out and start chewing on your dumb ass. Awesome. So to make sure this didn't happen, they would put a large rock or coin or something like that in the corpse. his mouth, and then they would sew all around it, like sew your mouth shut around a giant rock. Like Billy. Like Billy in hocus focus.

Yeah. Except for a totally different reason. It was just a guy I knew. Just like Billy. Like old Billy there. Oh, fucking Billy. Remember when they did that to him? Like old Billy the butcher back there.

You remember that? Yeah, except for very different reasons. Because Billy's mouth was shut. He was a cheating turd. So that he couldn't tell his secrets even in death. Mm-hmm. Okay. And also, because like, didn't he like, cheat on?

fucking Winnie with Sarah. Well, that was the reason he got it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then she says so he couldn't tell her secrets even death. He was he was not a good. He was not a good boyfriend. He was wild. He wasn't. But she also wasn't a good sister. But we're not going to say, yeah, exactly. That's a whole different episode. That's a whole different episode. But yeah, so they would literally sew your mouth shut around this giant rock in your mouth. And skulls are found with giant rocks in their fucking mouths because of this, which is nuts to be. They like break their jaws to get like a huge ass rock in the mouth. No, it was like a one that you could like at least put your mouth around, but it would like lock your jaw around this.

And then they'd sew the flesh shut around it. So it was just a huge rock. I would like stretch my mouth, but I have TMJ and then you'll hear all my crack. And it was so that if you woke up and you were like, I'm, I'm ready to vampire this. I'm going to twilight all over. You couldn't. I'm about to go nimmily bimily twilight and go sparkle. Everywhere. And eat y'all. That's what they do.

Right. Yeah. So you wouldn't be able to do. that. No, you'd have a big giant rock in your mouth, so you'd just be like, well, guess I give up. Wow. That's the thing, too. I'm like, is that what we assume? They just wake up with this giant rock in their mouth and like, darn it. Not going to utilize any tools to get it out. Boyled again. Like, it's just like that's it. You've got to be. Like nothing else. But either way, along the same, you know, lines of this whole thing, in 1793, a German doctor named Michael

Ramped published treaties concerning the screaming and chewing of co-executing of corpses in their graves, which band name I call it. Big concerns there. Concerning the screaming and chewing of corpses in their graves. So already people are thinking shit really goes down after you die and are buried in the ground. For real. People could not handle that it just ends or that you just decay.

I don't want to handle that. They were positive that once that last scoop of dirt was thrown on to you, like that's when the party begins. You were about to just like rave in your coffin. Like you were just waiting. Coffin rave. coffin raven, just waiting for that moment, a blood rave, if you will. Like, you were just ready to do this. Deceased first rave, it's hard to say. Now, to talk a, so that's like the beginning of just like the

like, like, that's the kind of thinking that is happening here. Right. That we have kind of chaos. We have vampires waking up in graves. We have corpses just waking up and chewing on themselves and eating their burial shrouds in the middle of the night. As corpses do. Yeah, as corpses do. So already we have this like, what, what, what are you all thinking? What? So, of the time there was some evidence that people would like even famous historical figures as we'll see like George Washington put in their wills little stipulations to make sure that they were not prematurely buried I'm going to do that after this because it was a huge fear of this time now George Washington was terrified of it and he told his secretary Colonel Tobias Lear when he was dying quote I am just going

have me decently buried and do not let my body be put into the vault in less than three days after I am dead. And his secretary said, I bowed assent for I could not speak. He then looked at me again and said, do you understand me? And I replied, yes, tis well, said he. Wow. So he didn't want to be put in the vault for three days because he was worried that if they put him in there right away, that he was going to wake up. And that was it. So he was like, wait three days, make sure I'm really dead.

and then you can put me in the vault. They could have made a really heavy metal Hamilton song about that. They really could have. I'm a little disappointed, Lynn Manuel. Lynn, excuse me, can we retroactively add that? Can we get on the horn, Lynn? Can we talk about this real quick? That would be really cool.

Wow, that would be really awesome. Halloween-themed Hamilton. Lynn, I'm ready. Bitch, I have us together. Let's do this together. Zoom. Zoom meeting. Zoom?

I'll send you the password. Now, another one that people might know, composer Frederick Schopen wrote a note at the end, at least, of his life. Like he was suffering from tuberculosis at the time. So at the end, he would have a note that says, The cough is suffering. Swear to make them cut me open so I won't be buried alive. So another one, Danish author, Hans Christian Anderson,

which most people will know that name. Yes. He would always, even before he was sick or ailing or anything, he would always carry around a note that said, I am not really dead. And he would even sleep. Imagine finding him actually dead, though. And he would sleep with it next to his bed.

Oh my gosh. Because she was so worried that he would be like in a deep sleep or someone and somebody would think he was dead. Not actually dead. And what's weird is at the time, people would go into these like weird trances sometimes. Like they would have like, because a lot of illnesses were going on. A lot of weird shit was going on. I mean, look at the Salem Witch Trials and like the Ergot shit and all that, which I believe is the reason.

But we're not going to get that. But there was all kinds of things that would make people go into what we now know are comas. Right. But at that point, they didn't realize that you were just chilling. dead, you were just in a deep, deep coma. Right. So people would go into these comas and they'd be like, oh, because a lot of times in a coma, like, you know, your body is trying to survive.

So everything comes to a shallow breathing. Shallow breathing, your heartbeat can be hard to hear. Pulse is hard to find. Your pulse is hard to find. Like, and they're not able to hook up a bunch of machines to these people. They don't have them. Why not? So all they're able to do is take some fingers and put them on there.

And if you can't feel anything, well, guess they're dead. Back then they were probably using their damn thumb. Exactly. So that it happened a lot. People would think they were dead and they weren't. It makes sense. Now, Alfred Nobel, the one who created the Nobel Prize. Yeah, him. And he created that by leaving a ton of money in his will to fund those who contribute the greatest things to society, which I love.

I love that so much. Yeah. He put in his will. And I quote, it is my express wish, spresh wish. My express wish that following my death, my veins shall be opened. And when this has been done in competent doctors have confirmed clear signs of death, my remains shall be cremated in the so-called crematorium. I love that he specified.

Competent doctors. Yeah. Not just doctors, I would like you to find some competent ones. And when the competent ones say that I am dead, then you can cremate me. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Now, it was during the 19th century that a man named C.A. Reed of Newton, Massachusetts. Hey-o. Also put in his will, he left five.

$500 for a doctor to cut off his head to make sure that he was dead. I love that he was like, take this and chop my fucking head off. Also like $500 bucks. Decapitate me. I feel like $500 for like a post-mortem decapitation doesn't feel. Well, when was it? It was in the 19th century. That's all we know.

Okay. Now, in the 1880s, and this is really interesting to me, so we're going up to the 1880s now. Yeah, we're getting like almost modern. We're almost there. But we, I wanted to put those in there just so you could see that really know, like people who have known people of the time were worried about this. This wasn't just people running around being crazy. This was people who people trusted, people who people knew who created things that we've all

seen and loved that were very, very scared of being buried alive because it was like a, it was an insane fear at the time. It was like a satanic panic, but like buried alive panic. But it was also like pretty justified. because shit was happening at the time. They're finding all this shit. In the 1880s in Germany, they created these things called waiting mortuaries. And these were literally morgues where they supposedly dead people would lie in state for a few days to make sure that they were really dead before proper burial commenced.

Now, the trays that they would lay on, and they would lay in like a line, the trays were zinc and were filled with antiseptic. And all of this was done to make sure no infection would. set in case these people were alive. And they would also pump steam into the room to hasten the decomposition process so they could like quickly see if they were really dead. Wow, that is actually very cool. But the smell. Yeah. The smell. If y'all are straight up dead, it's about to stank up in there. There is a line of dead bodies and you were just pumping steam into the room. And then like you think like the bugs that start to come. That's that's shag nasty. But this is super interesting, though, because they would cover the perimeter of the trays with fresh and

fragrant flowers. And this would be to mask the smell. And it is said to be where the tradition of putting flowers at the graves of dead people and also bringing them to funerals and bringing flowers came from. That's cool. Isn't that interesting? Smarty pants. Isn't that cool?

Yeah, I love that. They would also be attached. These people would be attached to an alarm and a bell system so that if there was any movement, the people working would be alerted very quickly. they ass up. Unfortunately, as with the safety coffins that we're going to talk about in a minute, they weren't completely up on the movement that it can occur once you're really dead. People sit straight up. There's literally like swelling, releasing gases, going through rigor, all that. So these, I mean, rigor, it happens, rigor breaks. There's going to be some movement. There's

going to be some shifting. Sometimes they say, ah, ha. And so these alarms would go off a lot and leave a lot of people disappointed because they would think that their loved one is waking up. Oh, that's so sad. Now, someone would be working there at all hours in case someone woke up, and apparently people would pay to walk through there and just look at the bodies. That's like the Paris Morse. Yeah, it literally is. And according to the history collection, sources say between 1822 and 1845, 465,000 people were taken to these waiting mortuaries, and not one of them woke up from their deaths. Yeah, so it wasn't as common as people thought. No. Now, one way that is wild,

that was actually used to determine if someone was really dead, and this is so interesting to me, was to use invisible ink made of acetate lead. Now, invisible ink was made way back in, like, Roman times. It was like super early. But they would use this acetate lead that reacts with sulfur dioxide and becomes visible. Now, they would actually write an invisible ink,

I am really dead on a piece of paper. They would then place this piece of paper under the dead person's note. on their face. And the theory was, if they were really dead, then the gases emitted after death while rotting would activate the invisible ink. And boom, now they know they have a dead person. All of a sudden, I am really dead would come onto the paper. I love how like just fucking spooky and metal this is. The most macab. Like it's, it's Halloween all the time over there. It is. I love it. And it sounds pretty solid. Except that bad dental hygiene can produce the gases needed

to activate the invisible ink, and during this time, teeth were not exactly top priority. Like, it wasn't like we were like, there was no like, you know, aspirin dental, like around, you know what I mean? So, like, no Colgate. People had some tough teeth situations. Yeah. And some sulfur dioxide was definitely leaching out of those holes in their face. So we're definitely going to get into some methods for determining if death actually occurred

in a minute, so don't worry. But they would also do this one in a scarier way, too, which I think is a scarier way. An attendant would use silver nitrate to brush the words, I am dead, and silver nitrate on a pane of glass placed over the coffin. Then the words would stay invisible until the gases from the decomposing body would suddenly make, I am dead, show up on the fucking coffin. That's kind of like really cool. And I feel some type of way about feeling like this.

It's awesome. I want them to still do that, please. I feel like there's like a movie or a book there somewhere, and I don't know where, but I got to, I got to suss it out. Should we like put that in our wills? Like, for real. It's so cool. That's really cool. It's crazy, though.

But again, this didn't work a lot because people just weren't up on what was coming out. I'm just kidding. I'm thinking methane gas. You're like, no. No, it was honest because it comes. out of people's mouths when they have bad dental hygiene. So there were times when those words would show up and it was just you had stanky breath. You got rinked breath.

That's all. Now let's get into further what they would do to try to make sure you were dead. Now everyone let us. Hold on tight to your butts. In 1752, Antoine Lewis was like, maybe we could like blow a ton of tobacco smoke up the dead guy's ass for why. That would probably make them wake up, right? Correct? Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, so they would do that. Okay. They would just blow a bunch of tobacco smoke up their ass and then they were like, whoop, they're still dead. I want to know whose job it was to blow the tobacco into somebody's booty hole. That's what I said. How do you decide, you know what, dad? You know what I want to be when I grow up?

I'm going to blow tobacco smoke up someone's asshole. Yeah, we got to make sure they're really dead, dad. I'm doing the Lord's work here. I was literally just going to say I'm doing the Lord's work. because in 1854 another Frenchman was like, hmm, uh, no, maybe don't do smoke. I think, um, a red hot poker would work better. To which I say yes. It would.

Isn't it like, sodomizing a dead body? Well, that's, I'm like, whoa, guys. Ah! I feel like this is bad. I'm clenching my sphincter. This is really bad. So then in the same year, another Frenchman was like, no, I got it. He didn't, though, did he?

And he invented the pince mamelan or nipple pincher. Stop. And it did what it says. And it was supposed to wake up anyone that was just trancing. Just really excite you. If you were trancing. Just a little foreplay. You would wake up and be like, ah.

Like you just didn't, you really like, whoa. That's fucking hilarious. Like how many people woke up and were like, not my kink? Oh my God. Or a few people woke up and were like, how'd you know? Oh, you want to go out tonight? The nipple pincher. That's funny.

I love that he had to invent that as well. Like you couldn't just send someone to like pinch the nips. Yeah, he sure did. Now, in, uh, between 1720 and 1722, there was a great plague in Marseillaise. I thought it up that you said a great play. It was a great plague. A great plague. Uh, in Marseillae, yes, and 50,000 people died.

Oh, shit. In case you couldn't tell. Uh, 50,000 people died of this plague. Now, this place called Observance Monastery was used for the burial place, and it was excavated in 1994 because they were doing, you know, shit we do. We just dig shit up and build more things over it. Deforestation. Now, two corpses were found at this site that had long brass pins inserted under their big toes, their big toenails. And this was another, this was another old timey way to make sure someone was really down.

Make it quick. Again, make it quick. That's going to be. That's going to wake me up. If I'm just trancing, it's going to wake me up. Now, here's some other things that we could do. One said, one thing that I read said, the person's nostrils should be, quote, irritated by introducing stimulants, juices of onions, garlic, and horse radish. All right.

No, I can take that. Which I was like, that just sounds awesome. I love the smell of all that stuff. So I would probably wake up and be like, are we having a sandwich? Like, what's going? on let's get it um is there a charcutory around here oh bitch uh you could also tickle them with a quill of a pen do it you could uh they're like not my kink all over again i love that they're like we'll tickle you with the quill of a pen or we'll thrust a sharp pointed pencil right up your nose oh no

that's weird uh we could also rub your gums with garlic okay i'll take it that would burn i feel you think oh yeah yeah yeah it definitely would uh you could fuck up the skin with whips and nettle I fucking hate nettles. Your intestines could be fucked up with some enumas that they could do. Ouch. They could violently pull on all your limbs. No. Can we be nice to that? We could shock the ears with quote, hideous shrieks and excessive noises, which would be the thing to wake me up. Yeah. I fucking hate loud noises. It freaks me out. Yeah, I don't like loud noises either. Hidious shrieks and loud noises, no. But that would definitely wake me up. Yeah. You could also pour vinegar and pepper into the person's mouth. That's just terribly rude. And also they wrote, quote, where that cannot be had, because you can't find vinegar and pepper. It is customary to pour warm urine into it, which has been observed to produce happy results. I doubt that. I'm going to go ahead and be the first to doubt that. Then you could also cut their feet with razors, thrust needles and pins under their toenails, and pour boiling Spanish wax on their forehead.

Oh. So all those things you could do to make, you know, we got to make sure you're really dead. I guess so. I don't want you just be trance in all over the place. What if they just did like all of those things at once? Well, if you're really dead, it won't matter. But if you're not, you'll wake up, I suppose. You'll wake up real mad.

Real mad, you're a little sticky, real smelly. Get on the way to get a lawyer. Yeah, a lot. Now, a guy named William Teb was a social reformer. And in 1896, he along with Walter Hadwin, and a doctor who was almost buried alive himself named Edward Perry Volum. They created premature burial and how it may be prevented with special reference to trance, cataplexy, and other forms of suspected animation, published in 1996. This book basically lays out a ton of real instances where someone was buried while still alive, and it also tries to understand how to prevent it from happening in the future.

People were like really into William Tapp. Oh, right. Teb, excuse me. The same year, Teb, along with Walter Hadwin, founded the London Association for the Prevention of Premature Burial. So this was huge. Whoa. They used this association to disperse the book that we just talked about.

And also other books from other social reformers and people who were basically as paranoid and scared of premature burial as they were. And they basically campaigned to make sure the signs of death were absolutely concrete and were dead set, pun intended, on stopping the end. epidemic of premature burials that they saw was going to be like the end times. We were just going to all be buried into the world. Now, when Teb himself died in 1917, he put in his own will that, quote, unmistakable evidence of decomposition should be visible.

So he was cremated a week after his death. Wow. And it kind of made me think immediately of the Wizard of Oz, you know, the corner in the Wizard of Oz when they say that the witch is dead. And they're like, she's morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably dead. Yes. I think that's literally how they live their life. I love that.

And then I love the song of the coroner when he's like, as coroner, I must of her, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead. She's really most sincerely dead. Do do, do, do, do do do do do. your memory is like any other. But yeah, so they were just talking about like, I'm pretty sure they were probably thinking about William Ted. They were just preaching his gospel in that flick, really. I think they were.

Now, there's also a publication that really fed into people's fears at the time called the Undertakers and Funeral Directors Journal. Ooh, was it real, though? Was it, though? They had a story in it that goes a little something like this. Once upon a time. Mrs. Lockhart of Birkhill, who died in 1825, used to relate to her grandchildren the following anecdote of her ancestor, Sir William Lindsay of Covington, towards the close of the 17th century.

Sir William was a humorous and noted, moreover, for preserving the picturesque appendage of a beard at a period when the fashion had long passed away. So they're like, he had a beard when it wasn't cool to have one anymore. What a weird out. What a cool way to know him by. He had been extremely ill, and life was at last supposed to be. extinct. Though, as it afterwards turned out, he was merely in a, quote, dead faint, or trance. The female relatives were assembled for the chesting, the act of putting a corpse into a coffin,

with the entertainment given on such melancholy, why can't I speak, with the entertainment given on such melancholy occasions, in a lighted chamber in the old tower of Covington, where the bearded knight lay stretched upon his beer. But when the servants were about to enter to assist in the ceremonies. I just lost my place, excuse me. Uh, Isabella Somerville, Sir William's great-granddaughter and Mrs. Lockhart's grandmother, then a child, creeping close to her mother, whispered into her ear, the beard is wagging. The beard is wagging. Mrs. Somerville, upon this, look to the beer and observing indications of life in the ancient night, made the company retire. And Sir William soon came out of his faint. Her hot bottles were applied,

and cordials administered. And in the course of the evening, he was able to converse with his family. They explained that they had believed him to be actually dead and that arrangements had even been made for his funeral. In answer to the question, have the folks been warned? Invited to the funeral, I mean.

He was told that they had, that the funeral day had been fixed, an ox slain, and other preparations made for entertaining the company. You know, you slay an ox for entertaining company. Sir William then said, all is as it should be. Keep it a dead secret that I am in life and let the folks come.

So he's like, let everybody come to my funeral. I love it. Let's do this. Because he wanted to see who would show up. Yeah. His wishes were complied with and the company assembled for the burial at the appointed time. After some delay, occasioned by the non-arrival of the clergyman, as was supposed, and which afforded an opportunity of discussing the merits of the deceased, the door

suddenly opened, when to their surprise and terror, insteped the night. himself, pale incontinence and dressed in black, leaning on the arm of the minister of the parish of Covington. Having quieted their alarm and explained matters, he called upon the clergyman to conduct an act of devotion, which included Thanksgiving for his recovery and escape from being buried alive. This done, the dinner succeeded. A jolly evening after the manner of time was passed, Sir William himself presiding over the carousals. Wow. So he was like, come to my whole ass funeral. Actually, it's a surprise party. Actually, it's a feast in celebration of my life, which continues on. Yeah. But it was, you know what? Baller move. Exactly. And you know what,

but the stories like that, which were relayed as, because nobody knows if that's true or not. Yeah. Sounds like. But they were relayed as truths in the time where people like, see. Yeah. Like, that was like a diary. This guy was about to be put into the fucking earth. Like, but. So the idea of all this is that before your ass is interred into your final resting place beneath pounds of earth, it would behoove any doctors in the area to make sure that you are definitely dead. To make sure your beard is wagons. We're going to, if the beard wags, you stay a, damn it, I thought I had something in there. If the beard wags, all I can think of right now is.

If the beard wags, no body bags. That's what we got to say. Hey, I love it. All I could think of was never been kissed. If the thing is a rocket, don't come a knocking. Yes. That's what it is. Yeah.

If the beard wags, no body brain works. Now, here are some methods they used because, you know, the heart is so unreliable. Always. As many country music songs will confirm. Oh, I was like, what? Man. Took me a minute. No, that was funny.

I'm just like, we'll go with safety coffins. We'll talk about those first. Now, there's a lot of safety coffins that were made. I picked a few that I could find the patents for. I went on a patent search. So who would? Patent number 81437 was granted to Franz Vester on August 25, 1868 for unquote improved burial case. Now, this one was complicated.

It had a ladder, a bell, and an open airway in it. Basically, the ladder was above the person's head, and if they awoke, they were supposed to climb the ladder up to the surface. but if they were too tired or weak from like dying to climb the ladder, there was a safety measure for that too. In the corpse's hands, they put a length of rope, and that rope led to a bell on the outside of the grave. If they couldn't bring themselves up the ladder, then they could just pull the rope to ring the bell

and let everyone who happened to be passing by that there was a living person in the ground. So that's a pretty good one. I think that's great. Just like kind of complicated. Options. These ones are complicated too, though. I don't think any of them are like very chill.

They're all like very intense. This one is patent number 268-693, and it was granted on December 5, 1882 to John Crickbaum for, quote, a device for indicating life in buried persons. This one has a more advanced indicator above the ground to let people know what's happening underneath. It's not just a bell. It's like a whole contraption to say, hey, I'm not dead yet. Okay.

So this one isn't a coffin itself. but it's actually something you place in the coffin and above it. So you have to get your own coffin. B-Y-O-C. I love that. We just did that. You have to kind of hole in the top of your coffin you choose. And then you thread this T-shaped tube into it.

It's like what you would hold looking through a periscope. Okay. Like the two things side. This tube that is placed on the corpse's chest can be turned by their hands if they wake up. Like you're revving like a vroom-v-v-brum. Yeah. You're revving a vrum-vro. You're revving a motorcycle.

Look at me, fast and furious. When the tube is turned, when the tube is turned, it will engage a part of the mechanism that is above the ground. Now, the part above the ground is attached by a series of interconnected tubes and appears like a box scale on the surface,

like a scale that's just like a box shape, basically. When the tube is turned in the corpse's hands, it will make the marker on the scale move to indicate to those above the ground that there is movement of the tube inside of the coffin. Okay. If the person, and it says, quote, in the actual patent, it says, quote, if the person then should turn in the coffin or make any more violent motion, he will push the pipe upwards and push the cover off the box. The catch on the sleeve will be pushed over the flange collar and hold it up so that nobody from the outside can push the cover down again.

A supply of air sufficient for allowing the person in the coffin to breathe freely, enters the coffin through the pipes, and will keep them alive until help arrives. Okay. Now, when things have gone the other way and the person really is dead, you would wait a sufficient amount of time, and they don't tell you how long is sufficient, but I suppose that's for everyone to decide. Five minutes.

And then you can remove this entire apparatus, only leaving the T-shaped tube in the coffin. Okay. So the T-shaped tube is a one-time use, but it looks like the rest can be reused. We love that. Yeah. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Next one, patent number 329-49-495 was granted on November 3rd, 1885 to Charles Seeler and Frederick Borentrager for a, quote, burial casket. Okay. This one's wild. I'm ready. It's so complex and intense and awesome. So calling this one a burial casket is like very humble of them. Like, this is not just a burial casket. there are fans, feathers, forced air mechanisms in this one.

There's a cord attached to the dead person's hand. If there's movement of their hands, it will trigger into motion a clockwork gear mechanism that will run a fan. This fan will force breathable air down into the coffin. So this person just gets blasted with oxygen, which might be a little scary. But like, hey, that might be exciting if you can't breathe. Woo! You're just like, I can see breathe.

Now the air is here. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Vroom, brim.

Brum. On the other end of the coffin, they have another tube where a lamp is passed down. Under it, no, under it will be a reflective device, like a mirror, that will throw light onto the face of the person in the coffin. So if you look down the tube from the surface, you can see them. You will see the person's face so that they can be like, hi. Hey. Hey. I'm awake.

Suppie. That's, that's no. That's a no for me. I like that one. That's also not all. Connected to another hand. But wait, there's more. Is another cord that when any movement happens, it will force a rod through the earth.

And attached to that rod will be a flag with feathers on it or something else that will indicate someone is alive under there. And that's not all. By moving their hands, they will also already have a wire attached to their thumb and running to a battery. And when they move their thumb, it will trigger a legit alarm system. goes off once the circuit is complete between the ground, the person, and the alarm. I see that they spent a lot of time on this and said like, let's cover all our bases, but it also feels like a lot could like short circuit here. The battery could die. The feathers might blow away. Yeah, you know what? The more bells and whistles it has, it's like a car. The more shit you have on it,

the more shit that can go wrong. Yeah. It's like a high efficiency dryer, if you will. Yeah, it really is. Fuck those. Again, it's like you start adding all this crazy stuff onto it and more stuff is going to break. Yeah. And also, I don't want to install that shit onto my loved one's coffin. No, it's a little too much for me. That's a lot.

And then I feel like no, even if I'm installing that, then forever I'll be hopeful that like something might come of it. Yeah, exactly. And then my loved one won't be dead. And then nothing happens and you've just done all that. And then, you know, what happens when they really die and you got to do that all over again? Exactly. It's expensive.

It does. It gets expensive. It gets, it gets, I know you start wondering what? am I here for? Right. You start getting existential. It was literally just going to say that. I mean, I don't want any of that. Fuck it. Well, one of the safety coffins that a lot of people know about actually kind of like took on some steam a little bit was by Count Michael de Carnice Karnicki, who was the Chamberlain to Nicholas the second of Russia. Now, he was stressed out to make this because he had seen a young girl almost buried alive. Oh, God. This came out of

stress. That'll change you. He said after hearing her screaming to be let out from her own grave, he was obsessed to make sure it never happened to anyone again. Now, this was in 1897, and so this one had a tube which came from inside the coffin up above ground. At the coffin end of this tube, there was a glass ball hanging over the dead person's chest. Any movement, any breath or anything, would make this delicate glass ball move in the air, and this would automatically, set off a spring-loaded mechanism that opened the top of the tube to allow air to come into the coffin immediately. Like the burial casket, once this was all triggered, a bell would go off and a flag would shoot out from the ground four feet up into the air. Oh, damn. To let people know shit was going

down, for real in there. Down, down there. And in case you are bummed to be interred into the ground in the dark and haven't heard anyone say, like, hey, are you dead in there or not? Yeah. Like, you haven't heard the parade of like I'm not dead yet happened. Yeah, right? There's a lamp that will burn when it gets dark. So you can fully comprehend the nightmare situation you are in of being trapped, unable to move in a coffin in the ground. Do I get to like pick the style of my nightlight? No. All right. I'm out. See? It's important to have a sense of when it's nighttime well in this position because then you can really soak in the terror of being alone in your own grave in a cemetery surrounded by dead bodies in the middle of the night. I feel. No. I feel like it's very

important to like be like oh like the light comes on it's just like boop it's like one of those automatic timed lights and you're right oh cool it's night time i'm in the cemetery in the ground in my coffin in nighttime no thank you like it's like oh good party glad uh party so another positive for this one though was that it was hematically sealed so that if the person did start rotting from like actual death the gases wouldn't be rising out of the pipes because that would be bad at least they thought of Yeah, you don't want like dead people gases, just like floating around. Can't say I do. You could also reuse this one if the person wasn't really dead.

Again, recycling. So one problem, though, is that any slight movement of the glass ball would trigger the alarm. And sometimes, like we said, corpses bloat, they swell, they move weirdly, gases emit, shit will move. A snake could get in there. Sometimes they could move over onto their side because of just shifting. That's wild. It shit can happen in there. And of course, at this point, they just weren't aware of all the shit that.

that happened. We didn't have body farms back then. Like Bill Bass was the one who was like, hey, look at the shit that happens when you die, guys. For real. We needed Bill. Where were you, Bill? Bill. Bill. Bill. Except a different one. Oh, I love you, Bill. There's a lot of good bills out there. Right. There really is. There is. Yeah, you're right. He was, so he was determined to get this to be, like, the norm coffin. He was like, I want this to be everyone's coffin, not just like people would choose it. Everyone should have this. And he would go around at like conferences and talk about this. And at one he said, quote, according to the declarations made by grave diggers of the great cities of all countries,

when at the end of five years the dead are removed from the common grave, they find in the coffins convulsed skeletons with fists clenched, which is like, okay, we now know that that's not how that goes, twisted and raised to the jaws. In every part of the world, there is not a community of any importance, town, or village where some memory is not preserved of people buried alive. And this memory remains like a permanent terror through all time.

And he like, I should say there's an exclamation point at the end of that. So he was like, like, he was like Dwight Shrewt at like the sales conference when he's doing all those like famous speeches. You'll get me off his people. This was the one everyone was real psyched about. After these conferences, they were like, yeah, everyone should have it. Everyone should have this mass produce these. I guess this really esteemed French physical.

physiologist named Charles Ritchett, he said, the problem is solved. Lethargy is vanquished. Which, yeah. I'm obsessed. Which, hell yeah. Like, as soon as I saw that, I was hilarious. I don't even know, but it needs to be in there. Yeah. It's a problem is solved. Lethargy is vanquished. I love it. Yes. I'm here for it. And our dude, William Teb, he endorsed this as well. All right. So he was like on board. Everybody's gearing up together for this afterlife. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. he went on tour to demonstrate this coffin. Sweetie, what happened?

During one of the demonstrations, the person in the box couldn't trigger it properly, and they had to hastily dig the person out. People immediately were like, well, I'm done with that. Like, nope. Which is dumb, but it was really, like, it's problems with everything. And the newspapers immediately, like, latched onto it and just destroyed it. And did they make fun of him forever?

Yeah, like his reputation was like, ruined. But it was really that in the idea that if it was triggered by, something like normal post-mortem movement or swelling that you would be digging up a ton of corpses for no reason all the time like it was just going to cause a lot of people to get dug up now i thought these safety coffins were like a thing of the past like when we talk about this we're like yeah like that was back then yeah we know now but i'm reminded of that clip of madison from american horror story when she says surprise bitch i bet you thought you saw the last of me yes because i searched patents for more devices like these i was like i just want to see i

found one from 1921. Okay. And it's called, quote, an exclusively owned post-mortist reactive screen to prevent premature burial. Wow. There isn't any real information on this. I think it's just a screen that is supposed to be like in the coffin that you can see the person and you'd be like, oh, look, they're waking up. Let's go get them. So they're not like, they're not buried six feet under I think they had no idea how to make this. They just had something that they wanted. They had like some way that they were going to have either like a viewing screen where you could actually look into it and watch the person, you know, like some kind of thing. I know. And it's like that's like really. Pretty ingenious. There's another one from 2014. Bitch. That's when I graduated high school. Wow. Moving on from that. It's US patent 884.7. 768B2. Uh-huh.

You know it. I've heard of it. Yeah. You believe it. I live it. I love it. Yeah. It's a portable alarm system for coffins.

And the portable alarm system for coffins is a system that enables a person who has been mistakenly interred to transmit a signal that indicates that he or she is alive. The system includes a signal transmitting structure removable, removably secured in the coffin or tomb. A lamp or light source provides a light source. provides illumination for the tomb or coffin to allay the effect of panic for the entombed person. A receiving device is located in a prominent place, whereby the transmitted signal may be readily and quickly observed by security or other personnel. After a predetermined period, the system can be easily removed from the coffin for reuse, which I'm going to be honest. I think that's kind awesome. I like it a lot. Why not? Let's do it. I mean, why not? What's the harm? What is it?

We're just, you know, why not? It's just like everything will be fine. Don't worry about it. If they're really dead, we have, it's like, if you're really dead, you have nothing to worry about, right? Prove it to me. Prove it. Yeah.

What, you don't want to prove it? So that's 2014. That's crazy. So it's still very real. The real, real enough that U.S. patents are being awarded for new inventions to prevent this from happening. That is crazy. I was not expecting 2014.

So we're going to end this on a few examples of people that were buried alive. Yay, I thought we might. Yeah. In Pineville, Kentucky, 1891, a 20-year-old woman named Octavia Hatcher. She's probably one of the best known, especially in Kentucky. Hello, Kentucky. You know who I'm talking about, because there's a statue of her there. Oh, bitch. She gave birth to her first child, who was a son named Jacob. Unfortunately, Jacob died almost immediately after birth. As a result, Octavia fell into a deep depression and eventually

sunk into a coma from illness that same year. On May 2nd of that year, she died. Seems like a really sad and pretty straightforward story, right? No. It was not. You are correct. Because you see around this time a bunch of other people in the town, it was apparently like a extremely hot year, too. Like the heat was crazy. So they were burying people very quickly. Like within 20, like people got to get in the ground. We can't let them sit above ground. Smart. Because it's not like refrigeration. It's like, let's just throw them in a morgue freezer. It's like we let's get them in the ground. Let's not let them rot up here. So she was boom, buried. But then all of a sudden, a bunch of people in town are falling victim to this swooning kind of bullshit,

where it appeared they were comatose or unconscious, but they were just like swooning really hard. Okay. Like just fainting and going into a coma. Swoon. Full spoon. They believe it may have been due at this time, actually, now that they look back, they think it might have been due to mosquito-borne encephalitis. Oh, I thought you were just going to say heat stroke. I mean, that too, but they think it might have been an encephalitis thing that was causing like comas to happen.

That's crazy. So once all of this started happening, people who knew Octavia were like, oh shit. They had her dug up because they were like, oh my God. Like, what if she's one of these people? What they found was a nightmare. Her fingernails were ground down to dust and bloody. There were claw marks and the fabric lining of the coffin was shredded. I remember.

I know this one. Her face was twisted into like a terrible, like, mask of terror. And it was clear that she had woken up in her grave. Yeah. Her husband, James Hatcher, actually had a coffin made specifically for him that would prevent his own premature burial. I don't blame him. And it has also said that he was buried with a bell attached to his finger in case he was

buried alive. He also had a beautiful statue built of her and it's still there. I love that. And there's all these like rumors that like, you know, every year on the anniversary of her death, the statue will turn to face away from the town. Like she's turning her back on the town for letting it happen. Wow. But then like people think kids are just assholes and turn the stuff.

statue around? I would do that. But it's interesting. February 8, 1884, the New York Times ran a story about the premature burial of Anna Hawkwalt. Now, apparently January 9th, 1884, the day that it happened, was her brother's wedding day. And, yeah, in the New York Times article, it says, quote, the young lady was dressing for the nuptials and had gone into the kitchen. A few moments afterwards, she was found sitting on a chair with her head leaning against a wall and apparently lifeless. Medical aid was summoned in Dr. Jewett, who after examination, pronounced her dead.

The examination showed that Anna was of excitable temperament, nervous, and affected with sympathetic palpitation of the heart. Dr. Jewett thought that this was a cause of her supposed death. They literally got married still that day, by the way. That's a little fucked up. And the next day, they had a funeral for Anna, but everyone who saw her said, they couldn't shake the feeling that she was so alive looking. And it appeared that blood was running through her veins. She had color, like life in her eyes. And so her parents were freaked out enough, like hearing the amount of people saying this.

They were like, yeah, something's not right about this. So they had her exhumed. And it says, quote, it was stated that when the coffin was opened, it was discovered that the supposed inanimate body had turned upon its right side. The hair had been torn out in handfuls and the flesh had been bitten from the fingers. The body was reinterred and effects made to suppress the facts. But there are those who state that they saw the body and know the facts to be narrated. It'd be as narrated. Excuse me. So, yeah. So she was found the flesh had been bitten from the fingers. I wonder why it is that,

like, like what in psychology, like in the psychology of your brain makes you do that. I assume it's just panic. Blind panic and terror, you'll go hysterical and mad. And you'll just probably start doing crazy things. Now, again, in February. February of 1885, a man named Jenkins got sick. That's what we only know him by Jay Jenkins. A man named Jenkins. Just guy named Jenkins. His name was Jay Jenkins in the article. I feel like that like happens in SpongeBob. Yeah. Like I'm like, wait. No, like I'm trans. I'm transporated to a time when there's a guy named Jenkins and like he's, it's like a grave and they're like, it's like a haunted episode or something. Oh my God. I thought even like they eat the flesh off their bones when they die. No, no, no. And I was like,

whoa, what episode is that? That doesn't happen. You're like, maybe I will watch SpongeBob after all. So Jay Jenkins had a fever. He was cold and clammy. He couldn't speak. And they tried to wake him. They couldn't wake him up.

And when they fell for a pulse and a heartbeat, they couldn't feel one, which, as we know, not super reliable. So because it was 1885 and no one could actually be there to officially name someone dead, they were like, well, he's dead. They had him buried because you have to throw that guy in the ground quick, because that's how plague start. Yeah, so they were like, get this dude in the ground. Get him out of you.

So they did, and they buried him. Now, before he was thrown into the earth, people around him did note that he was not stiff, which was weird. Yeah. But they were like, eh, whatever. It's fine. It's probably fine. I got to go to dinner tonight. Now, 10 days later, they had to dig up his coffin, not because they thought he was still alive,

but because they were going to, it was like a wooden coffin, I guess, and they were transporting this wooden coffin 20 miles to the family burial. grounds. That was like a thing. They inspected the coffin and then they discovered that Jenkins inside was on his stomach. He was facing down and most of his hair had been torn out of his head and claw marks were on the lid. Is there any instances where the person gets saved, Elena? There was, but I didn't include them. Wow. So the last one we're going to talk about is in 1937, a 19 year old from France named Angelo Hayes. Now this is 1937. Did everyone hear that correctly? Not too long ago. He went for a motorcycle. ride and ended up crashing his bike and his head into a brick wall. His head was literally like mangled, like bad. And they wouldn't even let his parents see him. He was buried three days later.

And so then insurance had to get involved because this was a motorcycle accident. And he had to be exhumed a couple of days later. So he'd been in the ground for a few days. He was warm when they got him out. And to their astonishment, he was alive still. Oh, okay. So the medical part of this is that the trauma that his body had gone through had forced his body to put himself into a coma, basically to shut down all the major organs, shut down all the major processes to try to heal, which is actually what happened when I had the twins

and I went into like kidney failure. How, because I lost like, I don't know if I've told the story before, but I like lost a ton of blood when I had the twins. And like they had to give me a few transfusions and all that. and my kidneys shut down. Right. Just started shutting down. And the doctor literally told me afterwards, like, your body was shutting down because, like,

you were dying. So your body shuts down to try to preserve energy and try to preserve all the things it needs to try to get you back. Yeah. Which was horrifying to hear afterwards, but, like, so interesting. Horrifying to hear, I love you so much. You should have seen yourself. I people, like, totally aside here, I walked into that room with my aunt and we looked at each

and we were like, is she okay? Yeah, it was like, it was pretty well. I, like, looked at the nurse and I was like making eye contact with her, like, like, trying to like get her to hear my thoughts. And I'm like, you look beautiful. I've never seen someone look so good after giving birth. Oh my God. Mama bear.

And then I was like, is she going to make it? Like, what the fuck? I was, I was scared. I was she going to make it? Like, what the fuck? I was like gray. We all went home and we're like, so she's good, right? She's good, right?

They're not going to do anything else? Yeah, like it was a real threat. You had two blood transfusion. Yeah, two full blood transfusions. And then finally my kidneys were like, ah, here we are. I'll give you one if you ever need one. I appreciate that. I would give you one of mine too.

I don't know if you want it. I don't know if I want yours, but actually, the more I think of it, you probably don't want mine. I've done a lot of damage to the spot. But you know what? I appreciate the thought. That's all that. If they're good, I'll get them checked for you first.

Thanks. I think they do it. Same to you. I think it's standard. They're doing their thing now. So it's cool. Yeah. I've re-birthed them. But it's, I think it's fascinating that like your body will just try to save you. Like it that it knows to go into survival mode. Bodies are wild. And that it will just like shut the fuses down. Like it's just like, whoop, shut everything down. We've got to make this person survive. I wish they could perfect it. The Bonds. I wish the bodies could perfect it so that we could just go on and on and on and just keep shutting everything down just enough to get it back. It's like hibernation. Yeah. Well, and that's what happened to Angelo here because he went into like a translycoma because

his body was like, whoa, shit's going down. Well, we got to save our energy. Yeah, exactly. So it was requiring very little oxygen for him to stay alive. So when they brought him to the hospital after digging him up, they were thinking, you know what, he's probably going to be gone in like a minute because he's been in that fucking box. But he didn't need a lot of oxygen. Right. He was revived. Oh, so you did include one. Thank goodness. I was like, you little bitch. He survived and he thrived guys. See, I'm leaving you on a good note. Wow. And then did you have to have like surgery? Because you said he was found like mangled. Yeah, he definitely, he had to have like tons of stuff done. But he thrives so much in fact that he invented a

security coffin with an oven, a fridge and a thing to play music. So he just wanted to live in the ground. And he toured all over France showing it. I want to see it. You want to pick? I don't have a pick. But those are also, it was like rumored that it had a fridge and an oven. and all that, but I think it's funny. Just FYI, that's all based in rumor. I think it's funny, though. But he did survive. Like his, he did survive.

That's just an underground apartment. It sure is. Do you want an apartment coffin? Come on up. And I want it to be real. I want it to be real as well. I want it to be real. I want it to be real.

I buy one of those even if I was dead. I'm going to chill in the afterlife. It sounds awesome. Like, I'm all for it. But yeah, so that is my little snippet into the world of being buried alive and the fear of premature barrier. I gotta tell you, like, that was like very dark and morbid, obviously, because

high were morbid. But that was like a really good episode. Oh, thank you. I really liked that. It was so, it was very different than anything we've ever done. I feel. That's what I was thinking. It would be something different. And I really, it went well. But I think it's something everybody can relate to you. I don't think anybody's really psyched to be buried alive. No. I don't think that's, I mean, if you're into that, like, go off. I'm not shaming you. But like, I just like, I feel like that's what you said. Yeah. But yeah, I think we can all be like, whoa, yeah, I want a safety coffin. Yeah, great job. Thanks.

I really liked it. Hope you guys dug it. Yeah, all right. Well, if you did, we hope you keep listening. Yeah. And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you get buried alive. Yeah. Yeah. And not so weird that you invent too complex of a safety coffin. Keep it not weird. Just keep working on it. Keep it simple, stupid.