Morbid - Episode 666 - Listener Tales of the Beast
Episode Date: April 24, 2025Weirdos! it's Episode 666- Listener Tales of the BEAST! Today we just wanted to be ourselves again- and enjoy some demonic Listener Tales that are brought TO you, BY you, FOR you, FROM you, and ALLLLL... about you! Don't forget to check out the VIDEO from this episode available on YouTube on 4/24/2025! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it on over to Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line- and if you share pictures- please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :) Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash.
And I'm Elena.
And this is morbid.
With Lindsay Loan.
Special guest, Lindsay Loan is on the pod.
Lindsay, can you tell us all about your role in mean girls?
It was a lot of fun.
Okay.
That's actually not Lindsay Lohan.
That is Elena Urquhart.
And she is not a fart.
Wow.
And she is feeling it in her heart.
she's sick. Wow. Thank you for that marvelous introduction. You're welcome. I'm sick. I have been sick
for far too long at this point, but it's really hanging on there. You know, kids back to school.
Getting all the goodies now. Your kids be bringing home the nastiest. I know. It's school, man.
It's just once school starts, it's like we're all just for a race to the first.
finish at this point. We like take picks with them and we're like, oh, so excited for you to start
school again. And then in the back of my head, I'm like, I wonder what neurovirus I'm going to get this year.
I wonder what gnarly random bacteria slash virus I'm going to get by the end of the week.
Education. Yeah. But I think we're going to try to do, we're getting into spooky season here.
Oh, no, we're in spooky season. But like with the podcast, we're getting into spooky season.
Yeah. You know, we're already like well into it. But with the podcast, we want to.
do some spooky episodes leading up to Halloween. This is the time when it just feels right to do that.
Oh my God. I know. Like, have you been in the Target dollar section? I haven't. That's good because
you shouldn't go anywhere right now. I was going to say, I'm not infecting everyone, don't we.
Nor. Actually, I haven't been in it either. I just, I did see it on TikTok and I'm waiting,
actually, because I really want to go with you. Oh, I appreciate that. So get fucking better.
I'm trying. I'm really trying. But a couple more days.
of like honey lemon tea and I think I'll be back to it because I'm not really like sick sick now.
It's just getting the voice back.
Elena has this like rare disease where she will, it's called being a Capricorn, where she
literally will just never admit that she's sick.
Like even the week leading up to this or like the week that you like really had this had
this, which was last week, every single.
No, my throat's just scratchy, but I think it's just allergies.
I was like, that's weird.
I don't have those today.
I was convinced.
And then it was like, my throat is.
I don't think I'm sick.
And then it was, I don't have a voice, but like, I'm not going to go to the doctor.
I don't want to.
And then full-blown has to go to the doctor.
The doctor's like, yeah, you probably had strep.
So, thanks for that.
So that was good.
But, you know, we're on the end of it now and we got through it.
So these episodes are going to, we'll do a couple of Lucy Goosey or episodes the next
couple of times just so I can get my voice back to where it needs to be.
Otherwise, this is just going to be a cycle.
because once I get into this, I need to like bring it down a little bit just to get it back to what it was.
But today we're going to be talking about, and it's pretty heavy, we're going to be talking about witches.
Witches.
And we're going to be talking about witches in Massachusetts.
The first ones, right?
Yeah, the first.
Like the original, not Salem.
We already talked about Salem and trust me able to talk about it again.
But we're not going to talk about the Salem witch trials.
We're going to talk about the witches who were hanged for the.
accusations of witchcraft in Boston in the surrounding areas.
Alrighty.
So between 1648 and 1688 before the Salem Witch Trials, four women were hanged in Boston and
Dorchester for the charges of witchcraft.
Damn, what they do.
Well, and again, I apologize for my voice.
I hope this isn't annoying to anybody.
But first, let's talk about, we're going to talk about who these four women were.
let's talk about where they were hanged because that is something a lot of people want to know.
Like where did this happen?
Right.
Now, there's something called Boston Neck.
And Boston used to be a peninsula that was connected to the mainland by a strip of land called Boston Neck.
Mm-hmm.
And this is where our very own Gallo's Hill resided, which is strange to have it on a place called Gallo's Neck.
Yeah, that's a lot.
Or Boston Neck, excuse me.
Yeah. But apparently you would be brought here by horse-drawn cart, or you would be dragged there by the cart.
Good. It was a horrific strangle process, as it mostly was back then. In a ladder, you climbed yourself. You would have the noose put over your neck. You would have to climb the ladder yourself. And then it would just be kicked out, and they would just watch you.
Oof, that is really rough. Yeah. And of course, back then, you know, public executions and all that, like people would just be heckling.
as you're slowly strangling to death for something you probably didn't do.
Now, then they would just literally throw your body into a field nearby.
Oh, good.
And they would just let animals eat you.
They wouldn't even bury you.
The only way you would be buried is if a family member or just some kind person
took your body at night and buried you.
Wow.
Otherwise, you were just left out for the animals to eat.
That's like the fact that, because we talk about this and like obviously we know what happened,
but then you take a step back and you say to yourself,
this really happened.
This is real.
Yeah.
It's so brutal.
It is.
Now, we're going to talk a lot about witch watchers and imps and familiars.
So I figured I would go a little bit into that just so you could have an idea going in.
So there's a chapter in a book called Country Justice containing the practice, duty,
and power of justices of the peace.
And it's by Michael Dalton.
And the chapter is called Witchcraft.
And it was, this particular chapter and this particular book was used a lot way back then in the 1600s.
And it was to tell these loonies how to convince people to allow them to murder people that were different.
Oh, good.
Like basically it was just like, here's how you get a whole group of people to believe you and form like a mob against this person that you just don't like because they didn't give you sugar once.
Now, about familiars and imps, it says this in the book and in that chapter witchcraft.
And I quote,
These witches have ordinarily a familiar or spirit
Which appeareth to them, sometimes in one shape, and sometimes in another,
as in the shape of a man, woman, boy, dog, cat, full, hair, rat, toad, etc.
And I like how they were like, we are not leaving any stone unturned, here are all the animals you've seen.
And they also said, et cetera.
They're not just like animals.
They were like, here's some in case you don't know.
And to these, their spirits, they give their names.
and they meet together to christen them as they speak.
Their said familiar hath some big or little teat upon their body,
and in some secret place where he sucketh them.
Very intense.
And besides their sucking, the devil leaveth marks upon their body.
Sometimes like a blue or red spot, like a flea biting.
Sometimes the flesh sunk in and hollow,
all which for the time may be covered, yea, taken away,
but will come out again in their old form.
these devil's marks be insensible and being pricked will not bleed and be often in their secretest
parts and therefore require diligent and careful search. I love that they're like, this is a way for us
to completely violate their personal boundaries. Let's look at their private. This is a way to look
up some lady's skirts. That's all this was. So, it's so see-through too. It is. Like, wow, you didn't
even try. Like a lot of times these happen to be on their Vichis. So wild. It made me a
alone. These first two are main points to discover and convict those witches, for they fully prove
that those witches have a familiar and made a league with the devil. So likewise, if the
suspected be proved to have been heard to call upon their spirits or to talk to them or of them,
or have offered them to others. So if they have been seen with their spirit or to feed something
secretly, these are proofs that they have a familiar. I love they're like if they have been seen
with they're familiar. That's what that is.
This is full fucking proof that they have
a familiar. And it's like, wow, thank you.
I'm also like, what if they just have a
house pet? No, that's their familiar.
They have often pictures,
images of clay or wax,
like a man, etc. made
of such as they would bewitch found
in their house, or which they may
roast or bury in the earth. That as
the picture consumes, so may the
parties be which to consume.
So they're like, they might have things
in their house.
So you got to be on the lookout for that.
They might bury things in their backyard.
So what we've learned right now is they might have a mole or a freckle or a beauty mark.
Yep.
Or just like a mosquito bite.
A bruise even.
A bruise.
Any kind of mark on their skin.
They might have an animal.
A pet.
That has been seen with them at some point in their entire lives.
You never know.
And they might have stuff in their house.
Wow.
Compelling stuff.
It's very easy to determine which is.
a witch. Now, we're going to start with these supposed quote-unquote witches. We'll start with Margaret
Jones. Not a witch. No way. She was a midwife from Charlestown. Always. And she was really good at
what she did. Always. She literally spent all of her time healing and helping her neighbors. She was
so good at it that eventually these same neighbors were like, huh, she's like really kind and like
really good at healing us?
Do you think it's the devil?
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I love that even back then.
People couldn't be like, wow, that person's just kind.
No.
A person's just nice.
Like, she's really good at what she does.
She's very successful.
as a midwife. A successful woman, let's tear her down. Can't be. Can't be. Can't be. Must be the devil.
It's like, no, she's just really good at what she does and she just helps you out of the kindness of her.
The other thing is, I'm like, you really want to like fuck with this lady and just like get rid of her?
Apparently. Who's going to heal you? Well, people started wondering what's really going on here.
What's going on? Then they got even more suspicious when she would tell people that if they didn't take her medicines, that they wouldn't get better.
That's usually how that works.
Basically, she was just a doctor saying,
hey, take this antibiotic and your infection will go away.
If you don't, it will probably get worse.
Yeah.
Just facts.
She's just laying out facts.
And they were like, consorting with the devil she is.
And it's like...
Fucking witch.
I think she's just good at her job.
And she's like, what I've learned by being good at my job and by healing people is that
if you don't take the medicine to fix the thing that's alien,
you, it's probably going to get worse.
Yeah.
So, yeah, but that's what shit.
But, you know, idiots hate facts.
We've learned that.
We've learned that everywhere.
And so when they all shockingly got worse from refusing to take her medicines or cures,
they were like, she cursed us, that bitch.
No, you're just sick.
And she's like, well, no, you just didn't take the medicine that would make you better.
And they're like, hex.
It was a hex.
Oh, my goodness.
You hexed us because we did not take.
your amount of sins and she's like, no, science. And they were like,
and that was it. She said science. They said, blah. And they said, which. So soon this
kind of gossip got into the wrong ears, because that's the problem. People start talking.
And it's these gossipy little bitches in the village first. And then it starts getting to the people
that have a little more power. And by the wrong ears, I mean the general magistrate's ears
got a hold of this gossip. Oh, I don't even know what he does, but like it's generally.
and it's magistratey and you don't want to fuck with that.
You nailed it.
That's exactly what he does.
It's the job description I would write down.
It's true.
I feel you.
Are you interested in generals?
Yeah.
Do you like being magistratey?
Is that your aesthetic?
Hired.
Are you willing to be magistratey?
Could you do it?
You could.
I know you could.
Now, he was all too eager to throw her in jail, along with her husband Thomas.
What did Thomas do?
I don't know.
He was just there.
So they were like, throw him into.
All righty.
And they were like, he's a witch too because he was there.
And he's like, wow, cool.
Guilty by association.
He was eventually released, of course, because...
Man.
Yeah, I was going to say, I was going to say, I don't know why.
Because he was.
She was not so lucky.
Because woman.
Now, the claim was that she had a cursed touch.
Ooh.
She was using devil magic to sicken her neighbors instead of heal them.
Now, before all this, she was like this amazing healer.
They were all like, she fucking rocks.
And then one bitch was like,
she's too good at this shit.
And then they're like, you're using devil magic.
That's really all it takes is one bitch.
That's all it takes.
Now, jail officials claimed that they found a witchmark on her,
and they threw her into a cell.
They violently undressed her and looked at every inch of her body to find more.
It was a horrible, horrible process this whole thing.
Now, at this time, witch watchers wear a thing.
I mentioned it before.
When a woman or man was accused of being a witch,
they would appoint someone as a witch watcher.
And they would just watch the witch.
It's like in the chilling adventures of Sabrina.
A witch watcher.
Yeah.
You know?
And this was, they would do this for upwards of 48 hours just to see if an imp was going to come
and feed from the witch using that magical teat.
Magical teeties.
Imagine that's your job.
Like you're the witch watcher, wait for that imp to come and feed on that teeth.
Yeah, I wonder how many times it was successful.
I wonder.
Probably a lot because they were probably like, yep, saw it.
Yeah, exactly.
So Margaret Jones was assigned to Witch Watcher, and this witch watcher went running back to the powers that be telling them that Margaret was in her cell and suddenly she was holding a baby.
And that baby ran from her arms and into the cell next to her and it was an imp, obviously.
Can you imagine?
Like, this is the problem when people have too much free time.
This is what happens.
This is what happens.
This is exactly.
We saw it in Salem, Ann Putnam, too much free time.
We see it with the pandemic.
Look at the state of the internet.
now. No, I won't. This is what happens when people have too much free time. I will not look at the
state of the internet. Thank you for the invitation. It's too much free time and too much like,
you know? You know what I do on the internet? I post what the fuck I want and then I leave.
Well, and from the like actual reports, it said, quote, this court being, and this is all like old
English, so some of this is not going to make sense. It's fun. This court binges disarrows
that the same course
which hath been taken in England
for the discovery of witches
by watching may also be taken
here with the witch now in question
and therefore
do order that a strict watch
to be set for her every night
and that her husband be confined in a private
room and watched also.
So that's what they said. Thomas and Margaret
are getting watched. All right. Every night.
And this is what
they found. At the end
this is what she was found guilty of. It says
at this court when Margaret Jones of Charlestown was indicted and found guilty of witchcraft and hanged for it.
She gets hanged, spoiler alert.
The evidence against her was, one, that she was found to have such a malignant touch as many persons, men, women, and children,
whom she stroked or touched with any affection or displeasure or etc.
Were taken with deafness or vomiting or other violent pains or sickness.
You know, imagine if you had that power.
That'd be wild.
That'd be wild.
I'd be touching some people.
You know, remember the commercials where I was like, I'm not touching you.
That's literally, but I'm like, I'm touching you.
You're getting touched.
I'm already working on my evil cackle.
I love it.
Oh, I like it.
I would do it, but I would die.
Do it.
I can't.
I literally will die.
I'll die.
That was kind of scary.
I know.
I was like, go ahead.
as by her own confession were harmless, an anise seed, liquors, etc., yet had extraordinary
violent effects.
Three, she would use to tell Sachish would not make use of her psychic, that they would never
be healed, and accordingly their diseases and hurts continued, with relapse against
the ordinary course, and beyond the apprehension of all physicians and surgeons.
Four, some things which she foretold came to pass accordingly.
other things she would tell of as secret speeches, etc.,
which she had no ordinary means to come to the knowledge of.
Five, she had upon search an apparent teat,
as fresh as it had been newly sucked.
I'm gone.
And after it had been scanned upon a forced search
that was withered, and another began on the opposite side.
Two teets?
She was grown another one.
Many teets.
In the prison, in the clear daylight,
there was seen in her arms.
she was sitting on the floor and her clothes up, etc. They love et cetera.
They do love an ETC period. They do. A little child, which ran from her into another room and the officer following it, it was vanished. The like child was seen in two other places to which she had relation, and one maid that saw it, fell sick upon it, and was cured by the said Margaret, who used means to be employed to the end. Her behavior at her trial was very intemperate, lying notoriously, and railing upon the jury and witnesses,
She's probably like, what the fuck, et cetera.
And in the like distemper, she died.
The same day and hour she was executed, there was a great tempest at Connecticut, which blew down many trees, etc.
What else did it blow down, et cetera?
Well, now, the lying notoriously, they mentioned, was just her saying that she was not hexing anyone.
And that she had herbs and teas that she used to help people.
That was her lying notoriously.
Yep.
She was found guilty in sentenced to hang, like it said.
John Hale was a pastor in Beverly, which we're going to talk about later.
I'm going to talk about Beverly.
And he is a player in the Salem Witch Trials, but he's known mostly because he was all about the Salem Witch Trials at the time.
And then somewhere around, like in the middle of them, he changed his view and saw the reality.
And he started publishing things saying this was horrible and this shouldn't happen.
He was 12 when Margaret Jones was murdered, and he wrote this about her.
She was suspected, partly because that, after some angry words passing between her and her neighbors,
some mischief befell such neighbors in their creatures, cattle, or the like,
partly because some things supposed to be bewitched or have a charm upon them, being burned,
she came to the fire and seemed concerned.
The day of her execution, I went, in company of some neighbors,
who took great pains to bring her to confession and repentance,
but she constantly professed herself innocent of that crime.
then one prayed her to consider if God did not bring this punishment upon her for some other crime
and asked if she had not been guilty of stealing many years ago. She answered she had stolen something,
but it was long since and she had repented of it, and there was grace enough in Christ to pardon that long ago.
But as for witchcraft, she was wholly free from it, and so she said into her death.
She was executed on June 15, 1648, and that great tempest that they spoke of,
Connecticut's first tornado hit that very day.
Oh shit.
But it's kind of like the source family, how like a new star happened and like shown over Hawaii.
Hawaii.
Maybe there was just going to be a tornado that day anyway because I think it takes a minute for like a tornado to like get it shit together and say like I'm going to tornado tonight.
Yeah.
So I don't know if she did that.
Yeah.
Maybe I mean maybe she became like a witch in the afterlife and said fuck all y'all.
I mean I would.
I also would.
That's why I brought it up.
And of course the people of Boston.
and all took this as evidence that they had indeed murdered a legit witch.
That's all that was.
Not that like, she's mad now.
It's like, oh, yeah, see, she was a witch.
Like, that proved it.
And it's like, I don't know.
I think it was like weather.
Like, I think that's it.
I think it was just weather.
I think that was a tornado.
I think it was just an event that occurred.
It was just a very great tempest.
That's all.
That's all.
And also, why would you hang her then if she could still do that stuff to you post-lo?
life. Well, that's the post-life.
Post-life. Post-life. I like that posthumously. There you go.
No, no, no. Post-life. I like that
better. It's easier to pronounce.
It is. And that's the
thing. Exactly what you said. It's like,
they're all like, yeah,
high-fives, everybody. We fucking
murdered a witch. And it's like,
didn't someone come out and be like, guys,
she just, egg on your face
because she just created a fucking mind-blowing
tornado from the afterlife. And you guys are
high-fiving for getting rid of her? Like, you thought she was
more powerful,
now. Yeah, that tornado's coming to you. Like, no one wanted to step up. Well, I guess not because you
would be a witch. I feel like I would come out and be like, you guys are dumb. I hate to say this to you,
but you would have been hanged on impact. Yeah, literally. Like you would have, you would have came up
and they would have been like hang. Yeah. Step on the scene. See you like a guy. Yep. I wear that.
It would be witch, witch, witch, witch, she's a witch. I'd be like, yeah. That's like my, I just
love chanting that lately. Which, witch, witch, she's a witch. I'd, Salem Witch trials.
No, it's like the beginning of a movie.
Oh, it's fucking practical magic.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Now, interestingly, just a little post note for this story.
After this, her husband Thomas, because he had been released,
he tried to board a ship called Welcome to Barbados,
because he was like, I want to get the fuck out of here.
And they refused him, even though he begged and begged.
And he just wanted to get the fuck out of there.
That's all.
And they wouldn't let him on.
And it was reported that the ship kept rolling and almost caps.
sizing over and over. It was like relentless.
Of course, the captain said that Jones had bewitched the ship out of anger for him not being
let on. And he was arrested on charges of witchcraft again.
Are you kidding me?
They of course said that it stopped rolling and moving exactly when he was arrested.
He was released again, but also, I guess that ship had a bunch of horses on it and their
movements were causing it to move back and forth.
Just like some logic.
Yeah, just use a little bit of that brains.
I was going to ask if it was like a Captain Sandy sitch of like below deck this season.
Their stabilizers keep going.
Oh no.
And it is fucking terrifying to watch.
Oh, you won't catch me out there on the waves.
No.
You won't.
You won't catch me hanging 10.
You will not catch me to totally Kyle in that there.
No, you will not catch me.
Totally Kyle.
You will not, I do remember that.
You will not catch me in the middle of the open sea.
You just won't.
No.
No.
Now, that was Margaret Jones.
Poor Margaret Jones.
We're going to move on to Alex, Alice Lake.
Okay.
She moved from England to Dorchester, Massachusetts.
To the dot.
To the Dwight.
She was a mother of at least five children and married to Henry Lake.
In 1651, she lost her baby.
Oh.
No one knows exactly how, but back then, especially babies died a lot, unfortunately.
She was grief-stricken, obviously.
And during the grief, she had.
mentioned to people she knew and trusted that she saw her baby.
Yeah.
And she said that the baby came to her in her dreams.
Yeah.
That's normal.
Of course.
That's the grieving process.
And also shit like that happens.
It's like Baba came to you.
She saw her baby.
Yeah.
Let her see her baby.
It comforted her.
Now immediately, these assholes she confided in were talking shit and Puritans going to
puritans.
So they believe that this was not her going through the worst grief you can imagine.
but instead this was her being visited by the devil who was taking the form of her dead infant.
I love that there was just like not an understanding bone in these people's bodies.
And also like, why do you think that the devil is coming to you in all these different forms?
That motherfucker's just going to show up and be like, what's up? I'm Satan.
I don't think he's going to like try to roll in slyly.
I've never experienced it.
If they're actually, I've never experienced it.
I've never had that experience.
But think about it. If you're a witch.
Yeah.
And you are like, well, I am.
one with the devil now, like what they thought this was. Yeah. I'm one with the devil. Wouldn't the devil just
show up and be like, hello? How are you? Probably. I am the devil that you are now one with. So like,
let's meet in real life. IRL. Let's read. Let's meet. Don't keep catfish in me, girl.
Now, like, why would he just come to you as like a weird goat or something? Like, he would just be like,
hey. Well, I feel as though they felt like the devil was so theatrical. I know. He might be.
Maybe he is.
He's very like, I feel like the devil does drag.
Oh, yeah.
I could see that.
So I think that's why.
It feels very like over the, it's over the top.
I love it.
This is like, and this is the other thing.
I'm like, why is he coming as like a dead infant?
Like that's not, I don't see that.
Oh, I don't see that one.
I don't know about it.
You don't think so?
I don't know him.
So like, I don't either.
It's hard for me to say.
I did not sign my name in the book.
But I don't know.
I feel like he, I feel like he loves it like,
a shock factor. He does. I could see that. So I could, yeah, just like oversized infant. Yeah.
Who hath parted. Who hath part, hath departed. Yeah. I don't know. Either way, I think this was just a
woman going through grief. Yeah, this is absolutely. Having a dream where maybe she saw her baby and her baby was like,
hi, mom, I'm okay. Right. I think that's all that was. And I think these people are dicks.
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Yeah, well, you sit there and you think about who it takes to, like, have that conversation with her, like, a grief-stricken mother, and then to, like, go to whoever fucking justice, I don't even know, just like some man's and be like, which.
That's the thing.
Like, she was telling this to, like, friends.
So it's like, okay, goody proctor.
Proctor.
Like, fuck off.
Like, you're going in just, right.
She was telling you that in confidence.
A different goody proctor.
Yeah, not the same goody proctor.
Yeah, not the same one.
No, goody putnam.
Yeah.
Good, Anne Putnam.
The freaking Pottenham.
I bet it was you.
It probably was.
It was probably a distant cousin of the Putnam's.
It probably was.
Now, this only happens to witches, obviously, that their dead babies come to them in their dreams.
So she must be a witch.
Let's get her.
Let's try to execute this grieving mom of five.
Like, why not?
It seems like a great idea.
Good Tuesday, too, yeah.
Also, I'm very confused because, like, isn't rising from the dead, like, a thing in a lot of religions?
You're asking the wrong human being?
Like I know like Christ rose from the dead.
That's like part of the story.
That's what like Easter is.
See, I thought he hadn't done that yet.
I thought that's what everybody was waiting for.
Well, I think he rose.
He did one time.
I thought he came back.
Did he do it one time?
But I thought everybody was waiting for the resurrection.
And I'm saying this like genuinely.
No, this is like genuine curiosity.
I know, well like, I don't know.
I know this rising.
from the dead involved. Yeah, I know that
Phoenix is. But that's what, I'm confused by like,
why is it weird now? Like if
well, like if her baby came back
to like see her, why would that be
considered evil if like part of
a lot of religions is like
coming back from the dead? Maybe because I think it's only
Jesus that's supposed to, or God, I'm not sure
the difference. I think it's Jesus. Okay, yeah.
I think it's only him who's supposed to come back. So anybody else who
comes back is like playing a trick on you and it's the devil.
Maybe that's why.
All right.
See, that makes sense.
Like, that's my understanding.
No, I can get that.
Or my other inference that I think.
That everybody is not supposed to be able to do this.
It's only supposed to be, I guess that kind of makes sense.
If you're looking at it from like that point of view, sorry, we're just like talking
this out loud.
But I feel like you're all kind of in this with us.
Yeah.
And I feel like that kind of makes like sense to like these people, you know, like the
Puritans back then that like only this person is supposed to be able to do that.
and anyone else being able to do that is obviously this is bad.
So I can see that if you're in that mindset, why that makes sense now.
I just couldn't make heads of tails of that before.
Hey, look at me.
I did something.
You did something?
Oh, yeah, you did.
I was like, what did you do?
You did something.
Now, there was a big to do about her also having premarital sex and had at one time she had attempted an abortion.
Okay.
And it had been unsuccessful.
So, of course, they were real pissed about that.
So this was all used as evidence to hang her from a fucking tree, which a mother five.
Just want to put that out.
That's so fucked up.
She was found guilty, sentenced to hang.
She was hanged in 1651 in Dorchester on the gallows.
When she was on the gallows, she said she was not a witch, but she believed that she deserved
her sentence because she had premarital sex and had attempted an abortion, which is so sad to me.
That's awful.
She felt like it was like this was what she got for doing that.
Like people actually got to her and made her feel like she deserved to that.
That's awful.
That's really sad.
I never thought I would say that I was happy to be alive in the 2020s.
Yeah.
Well, there was a ton.
There's still a ton of descendants of Alice Lake today.
Really?
If you go on different websites about this and stuff, you can see some of them will
like comments and like correct parts of the story or like add to them.
It's like really cool that they do that.
Now, you may know the name Cotton Mather.
Yes.
That may strike a chord with some people.
He's a big part of the Salem Witch Trials.
The name Mather will come into a few of these.
And there's a book called The American Genealogist by G. Andrews Moriarty.
And they talk about the Mather connection to this case, too.
Oh.
Because we're going to hear about Cotton Mather.
Richard Mather was the pastor of Dorchester's first Paris Church and is the grandfather of Cotton Mather.
Okay.
So he comes before Cotton Mather.
and because obviously the Salem witch trials come a little later.
Yeah.
He had two sons.
Richard Mather did.
Okay.
Nathaniel and Increase Mather, who people might know.
Increase.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In this source, the American genealogist, it says there's like evidence in a letter from
Nathaniel to Increase who lived in Ireland.
And he mentions Alice Lake.
So we know that this really did happen.
Yeah, these are real papers.
It's hard to find records of these hangings, especially because they were even before.
Which child? So it's like really old. And he says in this letter, why did you not
but in the story of H. Lake's wife of Dorchester, whom, as I heard, the devil deceived by
appearing to her in the likeness and acting the part of a child of hers lately dead on whom her heart
was much set? So that even shows you how sad she was and how he's even mentioning how
grief-stricken she was. It just like kills me. I'm like, what the fuck guys? It's also like,
if you're going to do anything about it back then, can't we just like, I feel like they were
always putting people in like, I know.
The stocks.
You know, like, I don't even know.
Just like stop being dicks.
Run, just like retroactively, can I figure this out for you?
Can I fix this for you guys?
Now, the third witch, accused which we are going to talk about is Anne Hibbons.
She was executed on June 15th, 1656.
Oh, same day as the first woman that you spoke of.
And it says she was hanged for.
a witch only for having more wit than her neighbors.
They said, she was smart.
She's better.
She's better. Let's hang her.
So Anne came over from England, too, with her second husband, William.
They were high society.
That's why this is a very crazy one.
She was an actually, like, high society, pretty wealthy woman and was hanged as a witch.
Jesus.
Now, William, her husband, was one of the governor's assistants.
You would think that they, you know, this class of people would be immune from this, but apparently not.
She was not only accused of witchcraft, she was hanged for it.
So in the 1630s, Anne had some remodeling work done on her home.
And after the home, the work was already done, the carpenters decided that they would overcharge her.
Not only that, but the work was shitty.
So they just completely bamboozled her.
She caught it and she was like, no.
Yeah, I don't play that game.
Yeah, she refused to pay their bullshit fees because they had,
lied. And just to strengthen her own case against them, she even had other carpenters in the
village come look at their work and the bill they sent her and tell her if it made sense. And
almost all of them agreed it was shitty work and an excessive fee. Yeah, fuck that. She had to
ask her husband's permission to sue these assholes. Imagine having to ask your husband's
permission to do anything. And luckily, William allowed it. So she went and sued them. And she
won. She won the suit. Hell yeah. Now this was great.
Like fuck those guys in their shady ways.
She won the court case against them.
All was well.
I feel like it doesn't end there.
Except it wasn't well.
The church got involved because one of the carpenters,
she had come look at the work.
Yeah.
His name was John Davis.
He thought that she was too loud and opinionated of a woman.
Because you didn't, like, what?
You think she's loud and opinionated because you tried to pull a fast one on her and it didn't work.
Oh, yeah.
I think you're a dick.
How about that?
Well, and this is one of the,
carpenter she called to come look at the work.
Oh, well, I still think you're a dick.
He was like, well, she's too loud and opinionated and it annoyed me.
Apparently it threatened his sense of self-worth.
Probably.
So he went to the church and told them this, and the church didn't like that this woman was
speaking her mind, speaking out against men and acting like she was even slightly powerful.
So after she won her legal trial against these guys, in 1640, the church decided to put
her on trial and try to excommunicate her.
for winning a lawsuit.
Yep.
Got it.
During the trial, they basically tried to say the legal trial that she won against the Carpenter's was bullshit,
and their trial was the one that mattered.
Okay.
They said they found no wrongdoing by the Carpenters.
Funny because the legal trial found they had done wrongdoings.
And she was just annoying and unagreable.
Oh, totally.
Now, in transcripts from her excommunication hearing, one of the members said this,
Quote, I think if all other offenses were passed by, that hath been mentioned, yet she hath shed forth
one sin in the face of the congregation worth of reproof, and that is transgressing the rule of the
apostle in usurping authority over him, whom God hath made her head and husband.
They're saying that she went over her husband's head to do this.
Meanwhile, she said, no, I got his permission.
And in taking the power and authority, which God hath given to him out of his hands,
and when he was satisfied and sits down contended.
So they're saying he was satisfied with the work, but she kept pushing.
So he said she is unsatisfied and will not be content,
but will stir in it as if she were able to manage it better than her husband,
which is a plain breach of the rule of Christ.
Gross.
Okay.
A gross sound like the rule that your husband asked to tell you what to do.
Yeah, fuck that.
Did they give her husband a say in the matter?
Oh, yeah, they did.
And don't worry, we'll get to that.
Now, repeatedly in this transcript, they tell her that she is bound by the rules of Christ to follow
and listen to her husband.
And she repeatedly tells them, my husband told me I was allowed to pursue the shoddy work
and excessive fees.
Oh, my God, the thought of ever having to say that.
And she keeps saying her husband allowed her to take the matter further, and they keep going
round and round in these transcripts.
They keep hammering her with it.
And she keeps being like, I know he told me it was fine.
her husband gets up there and says that he definitely gave her the permission to take the things to the mat.
And then he literally is like, but you know, like, can you let it go now?
Like he doesn't help her.
He sits up there and is like, yeah, I gave her permission.
But like, can you just let it go now?
You're like pushing it too far.
What?
Yeah.
He basically is like, to be honest, guys, I think she's being annoying too.
Like, oh, basically.
He kind of sells her out a bit.
What?
And they tried and tried to force her to fucking apologize to the shi-
carpenters who did the work.
I'd be like, I won.
I don't have anything to apologize for.
Well, and she said no.
Yeah.
She just kept being like, no, fuck you.
I won my suit.
It's also not a law that I have to say sorry.
Yeah, so they saw it as going against the teachings of Christ and she was excommunicated
from the church.
Her husband William died in 1654.
Bye.
And immediately the church, now she's a widow.
She is very vulnerable now.
Yep.
Yep.
Well, the church in this group of carpenters,
who banded together against her, saw this.
And how many years later was this?
This is years later.
Like, how many years was this later?
This was, I mean, she did this in like the 30s, I think.
And her husband died in the 50s?
This is like 15 years later.
What the fuck?
The fact that these people have a vendetta against this woman that long.
What is wrong with people?
You have to be a really, like.
You hate yourself.
You hate yourself if you have this big of a vendetta.
And so they decided.
this is our time to get rid of her.
Now, over the years following the trial and excommunication hearing, she was outspoken and
abrasive.
Like, she would not back down and they said this was not okay for a woman.
They were still looking to get her to break.
So they brought forth witchcraft accusations against her because they knew it would be
the thing to get her murdered once and for all.
Yep.
This is even more fucked up because they specifically waited until she was a goddamn widow
before doing this.
because they knew that if her husband couldn't stand up for her, it was over.
She's all done, exactly, even though he barely did in the first place.
She was tried and found guilty of witchcraft in 1655, and then it was overturned.
And within a year, it was brought again.
So they kept going.
It was brought apparently before double jeopardy.
Apparently, it was brought before the general court where she was found guilty.
So they said no, and then they kept hammering, and they were like, fine, she's a witch.
apparently she had tried to pay off to some high society people to defend her during this whole thing.
I would too.
And she did this by naming them as benefactors in her will, like hire up people.
But some of them came out after she was executed saying they didn't mean what they said when they defended her.
Like they were even talking shit about her afterwards.
And they got her money.
And they did this to save their own ass because they knew if people read in the will that she was leaving money to them.
They were like involved.
Then they were going to be defending her.
and they were going to be in trouble.
So they came out later and were like, oh, I didn't mean that.
But we'll keep the money.
I'll keep the money.
We'll keep the witch money.
Yeah.
Now, one of them actually officially apologized to the general court for defending her less than a year after her execution.
He said, quote, I am cordially sorry that anything from me, either in word or writing, should give offense to the honored court.
My dear brethren in the church or any others.
So in other words, he licked their buttholes.
Yeah.
Got it.
She was hanged June, and actually I had the date wrong, she was hanged June 19th.
Oh, okay.
So only a few days later.
Okay.
1656, embossing common near the frog pond.
Oh, that's so, yeah, whenever you do a duct tour, they tell you that, because that's where they used to hang witches.
That's where the hanging tree was.
Now, later, Governor Hutchinson said, the most remarkable occurrence in the colony, the year 1655, was the trial and condemnation of Mrs. Anne Hibbons for witchcraft.
Losses in the latter part of her husband's life.
had reduced his estate and increased the natural crabbedness of his wife's temper,
which made her turbulent and quarrelsome,
brought her under church censure and at length rendered her so odious to her neighbors
as to cause some of them to accuse her of witchcraft.
I love that they were like, she talked a lot and had opinions
and like didn't let people get away with things and like wasn't going to fucking stand for shit,
so we hanged her.
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Now, it says the jury brought her in guilty, but the magistrates reduced to accept the verdict.
So the cause came to the general court where the popular clamor prevailed against her,
and the miserable woman was condemned and executed.
So they literally admitted in this thing.
The court found her not guilty, but the people gossiping and not letting it go prevailed and got her executed.
So messed up.
It says search was made upon her body for teats and in her chests and boxes for puppets,
images, etc.
But there is no record of anything of the sort being found.
It fared with her as it did with Joan of Arc in France.
Some counted her saint and some a witch.
And some observed solemn marks of Providence set upon those who were very forward to condemn her.
He's saying they found nothing to prove she was a witch.
Literally nothing.
Interestingly, in 1850, Nathaniel Hawley.
You might know that guy?
I do, I do.
He wrote a character in the scarlet letter that is supposed to be Anne Hibbons.
Hester Prynne meets a witch named Mistress Hibbons, who is shown telling her to sign the devil's book with blood in the woods and shit.
That's her.
I love that he was like, let me make her a witch after all this shit.
I'm going to make her a witch.
Wow.
So, yeah.
So the fourth one we're going to talk about is Anne Glover.
Sometime around the 1680s, an Irish woman named Anne Glover.
moved with her daughter to the north end in Boston.
Ooh, swanky.
After her husband has passed away.
In the book, Wicked Salem by Sam Baltrusis,
she's described as, quote,
a self-sufficient, strong-willed Irish woman.
Same.
When she got to Boston,
she got a job as a housekeeper
for a well-respected Mason, John Goodwin.
Her daughter, Mary,
also got a job with the family as their laundress.
He had four children,
that she was also kind of in charge of looking after.
and in 1688 during the summer months, suddenly the children began falling ill.
Now, in memorable providences relating to witchcrafts and possessions, which is from
1689 and it was written by Cotton Mather.
He wrote that the eldest daughter, Martha Goodwin, quote,
saw cause to examine their washerwomen upon their missing some linen,
which twas feared she had stolen from them.
So basically the Goodwin children, especially the oldest one Martha,
said that the glovers were stealing linens.
Oh, totally.
Now, because of this accusation,
Anne was pissed.
She's an Irish woman.
She's not going to put up with that shit.
Yeah.
And she got into an argument with Martha.
Of course, on the tale of this argument,
Martha suddenly got sick with some strange epileptic type illness.
Or maybe it was the fact that everybody was always sick back then.
Everyone was just ill.
I'm back then right now.
You are back then.
I am.
Soon all of the kids followed and were falling into fits, screaming, being hit by invisible things.
Get a fucking hobby.
The works.
What is funny is that none of these symptoms happened at night.
They all slept like babies.
Of course they did.
Only happened during the day.
Stopped right when it was bedtime.
Come on, you idiots.
So they called the doctor, and he came to examine the children who now all had fallen ill with the same strange possession-type ailment.
They were saying they were being poked with invisible knives and that there was invisible chains wrapped around them,
tight. Whenever someone would mention Jesus or religion, they would fall over and act like it was
hurting them. The same shit you see in any Salem Witch Trial reenactment actually was happening.
When he looks at them, all he said was that, quote, nothing but a hellish witchcraft could be
the origin of these maladies. Oh my God. So John Goodwin immediately starts accusing Glover,
and she spoke fluent Gaelic with some English. She mainly spoke Gaelic. So when she was questioned,
they couldn't understand half of what she was saying.
So they were like, witch.
Meanwhile, she's literally just not from here.
Can't understand her must be a witch.
So fucked.
So she was arrested immediately.
People came forward because that's what happened back then.
People would hear this and be like, oh, yeah, yep.
She visited the devil.
She visited me with the devil.
I saw.
People just wanted in on these murders, basically.
And a neighbor of Anne said that six years prior,
there had been another neighbor that had been bewitched
to death and had told, and had told that it said it was Anne Glover that did it, basically.
And she also said that her son, this neighbor, that her son had started falling into fits
as soon as she agreed to testify against the Angloger.
Oh, wow.
How convenient.
Same symptoms as the Goodwin children.
Now, they made her recite the Lord's Prayer during her trial.
They did that a lot because they would say that a witch would never be able to get through it.
And she did it partially in Gaelic.
So they made sure they were like, that's not going to work.
She's like, that's the language I speak.
And literally they said, quote, it was found that through clause after clause was most
certainly repeated unto her, yet when she said it after them they prompted her,
she could not avoid making nonsense of it with some ridiculous deprivations.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Y'all.
Like, wow.
Wow.
And that's the thing.
That shows you that they weren't actually.
believing this shit. They believed that
which is couldn't successfully recite
the Lord's Prayer because the demonic
shit wouldn't allow them to do it. So she
does it just in Gaelic.
Right. And they still hang her. Yeah, they just
want to. Like, come on.
They did that to another accused
witch in Salem later to Reverend George Burroughs. He
recited the Lord's Prayer and they were like,
oh, let's just hang him anyway. Like they were literally
like, oh shit, that didn't work. Right.
Just hang them. And
who was the one who made them hanged
George Burroughs, even after he recited the Lord's Prayer, word for word in front of people.
Cotton Mather.
And who also encouraged the hanging of Goody Glover after she also recited the Lord's prayer?
Cotton Mather.
Cotton Mather.
You are correct.
Yes.
Cotton Mather found his way into this one.
He interrogated her, Anne Glover, and he told everyone that during their discussion, she was
speaking to various spirits.
So she was obviously a demonic witch.
Later, it was discovered that she was just praying in Gaelic to saints.
Aw.
Fucking idiot.
He would later describe her as, quote, a scandalous old Irish woman, very poor, a Roman Catholic and obstinate and idolatry.
That's because she was having trouble speaking English to him and he was annoyed by it.
That's so gross.
No.
The fact that, like, people haven't changed throughout the years either.
It's pretty hard.
Like, they have, like, a little bit.
Well, they ransacked her home and found what they said was, quote, several small images or puppets or babes made of rags and stuffed with goat's hair and other.
such ingredients. And she have kids? Yeah, she did. It's probably like their toys.
November 16th, 1688, she was hanged, saying in Gaelic that the children,
all the Goodwin children would continue to suffer after she hanged.
Good. Martha did. Unfortunately, her own daughter went mad in prison after her hanging and died
in 1689. That's really sad. Now, a guy named Robert Caliph, who was a Boston merchant and knew her,
said, quote, Goody Glover was a despised, crazy, poor old woman, an Irish Catholic who was tried for
afflicting the Goodwin children. Her behavior at her trial was like that of one distracted.
They did her cruel. The proof against her was wholly deficient. The jury brought her guilty.
She was hung. She died a Catholic. Now, now the Boston City Council decided the conviction had been
unjust. They said absolutely not. A little too late, y'all. I always love when now in like 2000,
were like, ooh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.
Whoops.
But they declared November 16th, Goody Glover Day in honor of her.
Oh, that's nice.
They set up a plaque.
There's one in Boston right now in the plaque.
It says, let me find what is this.
Not far from here on November 6th or 16 November 1688,
good wife Annie Glover, an elderly Irish widow, was hanged as a witch
because she had refused to renounce her Catholic faith.
having been deported from her native Ireland to the Barbados with her husband,
who died there because of his loyalty to the Catholic faith.
She came to Boston where she was living for at least six years
before she was unjustly condemned to death.
This memorial is erected to commemorate Goody Glover as the first Catholic martyr in Massachusetts.
Wow.
Isn't that interesting?
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I also love that she was kind of spicy because November 16th is Scorpio season and Scorpio's
are hella spicy. There you go. She's spicy.
Mm-hmm. That's all. She was just spicy. She got hanged for being spicy.
That's what most of these women got hanged for is just being spicy. So...
That was like, it's always so heavy to talk about the witch trials, just like, and the various
witch trials. I know. And those were the four original witches, accused witches hanged in Boston.
Well, I have something a little bit lighter for us to, you know, finish off with. I wanted to talk about
a place. It's like a little bit of a palate cleanser.
And it's Witches Woods in Beverly, Massachusetts, which you talked about Beverly, didn't you?
I did, yeah.
Yeah, we're back in Beverly.
Back in Beverly.
By the way, Beverly Massachusetts is named at, or Hollywood, like Beverly Hills.
Hollywood?
Hollywood.
That took every bit of my voice to say.
Good for you.
That's a commitment.
But Beverly Hills in California is named after Beverly Mass.
I had no idea.
You told me that, like right before we started.
Yeah.
It just like blew my mind.
like, what? When I was reading about Beverly, when I was like doing this, I saw that. And I was like, what the fuck? That's really wild. I think it's supposed to be like, it's like this beautiful, like gated community. Oh, yeah. So it's like affluent. It's affluent. It's affluent. That's what I was going to say. Right. I meant to say that. Also, drink every time I say like, like, I'll say, you'll die. You shall die. Witches Woods. What about it? It supposedly got its name, Elena. For me? No. Oh. Ha.
For a second, I was going to be like, I don't know what you did not name this one.
I was like, it's called Witch's Woods, but then I was like, oh.
I mean, maybe if it was called Bitches Woods.
Oh.
Okay, no.
But people think that it got its name because of Giles Corey hiding out in this area of woods during the witch trials.
Oh, that guy.
Unfortunately, based on timelines, that doesn't seem to be true.
But there are other rumors that because Beverly back in this,
was still actually part of Salem, that when the witch trials really started ramping up,
many people who feared that they would be accused ran into this set of woods.
Oh.
Some even say that the people who ran into the woods really were witches and that it became
kind of a safe place for them to practice their craft.
Like hocus pocus.
Quite literally.
But as we know, there is like good magic.
There's light magic.
And then there's dangerous magic.
So the theory is that the dangerous and like dark magic,
somehow tainted the woods and thus they became known as Witch's Woods.
I love this.
Not to be taken or mistaken with the seriously fantastic haunted house in Westford.
It's so much fun.
So much fun.
Drew grew up in that area and he introduced us to Witch's Woods.
Like you got to give a, what's credit?
Where credit is due.
Oh, yeah.
It was Drew.
It was Drusifer.
And I want to go back this year.
I also, me and Elena, have not been to a motherfucking haunted house.
Like three years.
three years. Like we, it's, you had kids, first of all. I know. It makes it hard. I made it so hard.
Like, I love them so much. Like, finding time to get there, you know? And then fucking COVID.
Then that whole panorama that happened. That whole thing. The, my tummy when you said,
my tummy. I know you ate that. I eat that. That's why I did it. I'm such a dick. But, like,
I feel that feeling in my gut whenever you say, like, when you said, like, which is what's in the
haunted house. I was like, oh my God, I want to go so bad. It's that like, it's that givvy feeling.
Like, I wish you could see her face right now. The haunted houses are opening. I, doesn't,
um, the fear, fear, fear, fear factory is that what it is? Factory of fear. Factory of fear. For factory of
terror. That's what it is. Doesn't that factory open to me? That factory that's fucking scary.
I think it's open this weekend. I've never been to, um, any of the factory fights.
So I'm, I'm willing to go. I want to go. I got to get better, though.
I want to go.
Okay.
But there's a lot of legends about the real witch's woods, not the haunted house, like the actual
woods that witches may have vibed in.
R-Avibed in.
What were you going to say?
I was going to say ran into yours is better.
Yeah, they vibed in those woods.
So legend has it that there's more than just witches.
There is also a headless ghost.
Oh, hell yeah.
He's arguably not as theatrical as the headless horseman, though, because he's not riding
around on horseback.
He actually just walks around through the woods with his head tucked under his arm.
kind of like a football, if that makes any sense.
And throughout the years, people telling his story out in the woods have dubbed him
heady.
So clever.
I was going to say, like, is everyone all right?
Because that wasn't great.
The kids are not all right.
That was not anyone's best work.
It was not.
With that one.
Heady?
Like, oh, come on.
Come on.
Just call him headless.
There you go.
But another legend, and this is the kind of like the main legend of this wooded area.
and I don't know why.
I love this.
I love this little tale so much.
Oh, I'm excited.
All right.
So it's that of the haunted homestead.
Ooh.
Or as I really like to call it, the great disappearing farmhouse.
Way more catchy as far as I'm concerned.
I'm haunted homestead.
Like people do love alliteration, but like the great disappearing farmhouse.
No, way better.
I'd buy tickets to go see that.
It tells you everything up front.
It doesn't bury the lead.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
So there was this woman who lived during the 19th century and she used to vacation with
her family in the summertime. And like a lot of people would vacation in Beverly back in the day.
It was like a really nice place to go. And it was again for the affluent. Affluent. The affluent.
And her family, they would stay in a house that was really close to which is woods. Like the woods were
basically adjacent to where their property sat. So of course, she and some company would venture
inside the woods to see if the rumors about the place being haunted were true. And obviously they were
also trying to catch a glimpse of Hetty. But instead of Hetty one day, they went in there and they
experience something way scarier. It's almost like time just kind of like stops and then resets and then
stops and starts back up again in these woods. Because this woman, her name was Caroline Howard,
and her little cousin experienced some weird kind of time lapse while they were inside.
So they went into the woods with like an attendant or a maid. That's what you would call them at the time.
And at first, everything was fun. Just the three of them chatting, walking along. But then they had a
Blair Witch moment and they realized that they've been walking in circles and that they were probably lost.
Uh-oh. So they keep trying to find their way out and at one point they thought they were onto something
because they spotted something that people had told them they might come across. It was a mostly
dilapidated old farmhouse that was rumored back in town to be haunted. There was this story
passed along throughout generations that like a witch had lived there and she cursed the spot.
So they were interested, this little trio and they poked around what remained. And they poked around what
remained before kind of trying to find their way back to the beginning of the trail that they'd
come in on.
Now, there was a pretty tall hill nearby.
So after they kind of lurked around this abandoned spot, they said, you know what, let's
climb up that hill, get a better vantage point, kind of see if we can figure out where we're
supposed to be going here.
So they climb up this hill and they look down at the area that they were just kind of exploring
and the completely gone, the completely gone farmhouse ruins that they should have been
looking down on. Like there should have been a dilapidated farmhouse. Like just ruins. Nope.
Now they were looking down at this beautiful property and it looked like somebody was living inside.
Like smoke billowing from the chimney. No, literally. Like a what? Yeah. The lawn was clearly being
tended to. There were plants outside that were being kept up with. Like you said, yes, there was smoke coming out of the
chimney. And then as they're looking down at the frickin smoke and all the well-kept beauty of it all,
all three of them watched as a woman.
Did you just say, did you stifle a cough?
I did.
That was cute.
You said, how did it sound like that?
Sorry, everybody.
No, it was funny.
You sounded like one of my cats.
Even your laugh there was beautiful.
I know, it's a wreck.
It's a wreck.
Okay, share.
All right, so it looked like somebody was living inside.
Everything's being tended to.
And all three of them watch as a woman walks out the front door.
Who is that woman, though?
I don't know.
but she was feeding her chicken. She was freaking throwing out whatever chickens eat to them.
Con. It's con. Do you think they really, did they eat corn? I don't know. I feel like I've seen
in a show that they throw like kernels at them. Oh, like feed. Yeah. Yeah, she's thrown out feed to them.
Yeah. But they had 100 million percent not been there earlier. No. Neither the woman nor the chickens.
Or the whole ass house. I was going to say, or the dwelling for that matter. Or the dwelling. But, you know,
they figured we've been walking for a while. We're telling. We're talking for a while.
tired, you know, we're just a little kooky.
So one of them, one of the women, decides to go down to the home and see if the woman can give them any kind of directions.
They're like, well, that woman is clearly a whole ass woman.
That apparition that just showed up, we should ask them for directions.
I mean, maybe we're loco, so let's go check it out.
So she gets down to the exact area that she was just looking at from the hill, and she gets there and she cannot believe her eyes for the second time that day.
because there she is standing in the ruins that they had all just been confused about earlier.
So a minute, there was a farmhouse.
First there was ruins.
Then there was a farmhouse.
Now there's ruins again.
And are they watching from on top of the hill?
Yeah.
So they're like, what?
So she gets back up there.
She runs back up and she's like, no, like you got to be shitting me.
Like that farmhouse that we're all looking at again, if you go down there with me, it's ruins.
So they can still see it from up there.
They can still see it from up there.
What?
I, it's almost like they're like looking at like what once was or something like that.
They're looking into the past. They're looking into the past. Exactly. So fucking weird. So they go down there, they check it out and they're like, we need to get out of here as soon as humanly possible. So after some slight panicking, they were finally able to follow a stream bed back out into like civilization. But some people chalk the strange things that happen inside of which is woods to witches secretly still living on that land.
Hell yeah. But guess what? What?
Other people think that the trees are to blame, Elena.
I do.
There's been whispers over the years that the entire reason why the witches even ended up going into the woods
was because the trees were somehow human-like and they had some evil intentions.
Allah Wizard of Oz.
Allah Wizard of Oz.
And even back in the 18th century, people had spoken that something was off in this area.
There were soldiers that were stationed throughout like various areas within this specific set of woods for training
during the American Revolution, and they would tell stories of their experiences later that just
could not be explained. Specifically, soldiers would say that after they had shot an opposing
soldier, the man would get back up again just to disappear in a cloud of smoke. What? That's a ghost.
That's a ghost right there. That is a ghost, my friend. And that is Witches Woods, just a couple
short tales to finish you off. Which is Woods? If anybody's ever been there, let us know if you have a
weird experience there.
No, that's wild.
It was really, really interesting.
Damn, thanks for bringing us that.
I kind of want to, like, buy the homestead.
Yeah.
Build it back up?
No.
Be part of a wormhole?
No, no, no.
It already exists.
I don't have to build it back up.
But when you're down there, it doesn't exist.
You'd have to stand on a hill to always see your house.
No, I'd be the witch.
Oh, you'd be the witch.
She can't be living there forever.
Or she can be my roomie.
I was just going to say it sounds to me like she is living there forever.
That's actually exactly what's happening.
But I could do, actually, I would never do a room.
made situation. So I'll get my own disappearing
Holmsted. How about that? I knew you'd get
there. Thank you. You're welcome.
All right. Well, I gotta get this bitch some
cough syrup. So we love
you and we do hope that you keep listening.
And we hope you. Keep it.
Weird. But that's the way
that you sound like a later right now because holy cow, she's sick
and I need to give her some diamond top. We need
some honey. Honey.
