Morbid - Faeries Part 2

Episode Date: January 3, 2019

We are back with some more spritely hell raisers in our second installment of Faeries. Don't swear, don't swim and definitely don't bring one to a proper grave. These little devils are not here to grant wishes....unless your wish is to be maimed, murdered or eaten. Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So this episode is being sponsored by Killer Trace. Killer Trace is a cold case subscription box that delivers cold case police reports, evidence, crime scene photos, clues, and so much more to your door every month. They recently launched an app companion to this experience called N-File, which will allow you to track your cases, send evidence to the labs for different tests, run fingerprints and car plates, request search warrants, and even maintain a fictional budget. to really ensure that you use your resources wisely to solve the case. It's amazing. Our weirdos are going to receive 20% off their subscription when you enter the code Morbid 2018.

So head over to killer trace.com and place your order now to get into this amazing experience. Honestly, I really think our listeners are perfect for this subscription box. And I know personally, I literally can't wait to receive mine and get to work. Again, enter our code Morbid 2018 when you order for a special weirdo discount of 20% off. Can't wait. Hey, weirdos. I'm Ash and I'm Elena. And this is 2019 Morbid.

Whoa. Happy new year. It's officially a brand new year. It's a brand new. Did you just mesh two things together? I think I did. Because it sounded like Aladdin. It's a beautiful day.

That's what I was doing. but I made it up. But you put it in the tune of a whole new world, I think. Yeah, no, that's exactly what I did. See, we are one. We can't talk about ourselves this episode at all, though. Did you read the review where it said that we talk about ourselves too much? Oh, no, I didn't read that one. It said, I just laughed at it actually, because it literally, I think they rated us one star and wrote really bad. And then their description was, these two girls just talk about themselves the whole time and think that they have Woody banter, but they're not funny. Oh, shit. And I was just like, oh. Who knew?

Sorry for offending you. Eat my butt. Eat my butt. You know what the best thing is to do whenever I find a one-star review that's like nasty like that? Like, no. It's just like you talk about yourself and I hate you and you're not funny. I just go and look at my favorite podcast's one-star reviews and I'm like, we're okay. Yeah, I just like laugh at most of them.

Unless they're like actually hurtful, that one wasn't. Yeah, like the one that called us thoughts. I wasn't really a big fan. No. So yeah, that's a good. Well, we won't talk about ourselves. Let's stop talking about ourselves. Let's talk about our patrons. Because they're the best. Book, yeah. All right. So, in the Window Latching Coven this week, we have Nadia Siebenberger. That is an amazing name. I am so sorry if I said your name wrong, and I really hope I didn't because I practiced. It's true. She did. How to not say your name wrong. So. And it's a great name. Yeah, your first name is really cool.

Like Nadia? Nadia. I just think that sounds nice. It's just, sounds beautiful. It feels good. It does to say. It has good mouth feel. And thank you very much, Nadia. Thank you, Nadia. Next step is E. Lisa. I wanted to say something really witty there. Use a Bista. Elisa is a Bista. Elisa is a Bista. Or the Tisa. Thank you so much. Get it. Lisa. Next up we have Anne Ferguson. And I love the last name Ferguson. That is a great one. name. Like, uh, that's a great, in fact, one of my friends from high school, we used to call each other. I don't know where this came from, but she called me Ferguson and I called her Cornelius. And I don't really know why. We call Annie's dog turd Ferguson, because that's from S&L.

Yep. Yep, it is. Tert Ferguson. So that holds a special place in both our hearts. So thanks, Anne. Yeah, thank you, Anne. Um, also, okay, so we have two Karen's and they both spell their name, K-A-R-Y-N, which I've never seen before. That's intriguing. And I'm, and I'm, and I'm, I think it's so pretty. So first Karen is Karen Watton. Thank you Karen Watton. And fucking awesome. We just fill your name. I know. That's rad. And the other one is Karen Washington. Thank you, Karen W. Wow. So they're both Karen W. I just fucking realized that. This is weird. It's like Kismet. Eva But. Next up is Jen Pothering. Jen Pothering. You are not bothering us.

No way. You are Pothering us, which is positive. Fuck yeah. Literation. In the Evil onions category, we have solo James Nacelle. James Nesel. Thank you, James. Or Niesel. Or Nesel. I think it's Nesel.

Nessel. Let us know. Either way, thank you, James. Oh my gosh, yes. Thank you so much. And then in the Jagged Little Bitch category, we have Falsian. Is that how I say that? Falsian?

I believe so. Or Feltian. That's also a really cool name. Wicked cool name. And a Madonna. Thank you so much. Falsian. Thank you. You guys are the best. You guys are the tits. You guys are starting off 2019 right with a bang. Yeah, yeah. Bag, bang. And we got, and I'm so excited to give you all kinds of things.

Here you go. Take it. And again, that P-O box is happening. Someday. We've got, we've got a list. Like, we've made our resolutions for 2019. It's like a long scroll. Yeah, most of them include you guys. Yeah. Everyone listening right now, most of our resolutions are based on you. So know that you're going to be reaping the benefits. We should like make a post and have everybody comment what their resolution is. We should. That is fun. That is fun. Yeah. Mine is to complain less. Oh, that's a good one. I complain so much. Like, and I don't want to. That's a good one. I don't like that. Because that's attainable. Yeah. It's good to have an attainable resolution. And it makes you accountable for yourself. It does. It really does. And I see, my resolution is to

declutter my life. Just get rid of shit. And I also want to finish my book. That you're writing. Yes. I want to finish that. That's dope. I also want to start going to the gym, because I've been getting hefty. See, I just, I'm not even going to want to go to the gym. I think I just want to, like, just give myself time during the day to do, like, a yoga practice or something or do something. I'm not even going to say I'm going to go to the gym because I'm not going to.

Well, I paid for a gym membership, like a month ago, and I haven't gone once. I paid for one all last year, and I did not. go once. Oh, I'm so glad. Yeah. You know what, though? So don't worry. We're talking about ourselves, too. We are shit. Fuck. Don't give us a one-star review. So, Ferry's part two, bitches, with your girl, Ash. We are finally here. Coming at you hot. Bring you back to the land of fairies. I just felt like Sasha from Urban Legend. You kind of sounded like I love it. I love my own radio show. That's another thing. We're going to have to book a live show. Well, yeah, we're definitely So everybody makes sure that happens because we definitely want to do a live show.

But we need to do another bonus episode soon. Yeah. And I think we want to do like House of a Thousand Corpses. We got to do these. We have to do it so that I stop fucking hearing a lady to say, House of a Thousand Corpse. Exactly. Just let me watch it so that I stop here and you tell me that I need to watch it. We'll watch it.

I love you. On one of our sleepover nights, we'll watch it. Sleep over. Sleeper. Sleeper. Okay. This is a mini episode, so let's shut the fuck up and get into theories. So banshees are my first fairy.

I love banshees. Yeah, they scream in. Yeah. Because they'd be loud. They'd be loud. So according to Irish legend, banshees are fairies that scream really fucking loudly. And I would say that's moderately obnoxious. But to be honest, I'm really scared of them.

So I never said that. Yeah, they're terrifying. Yeah, don't tell them I said that. Don't tell those banshees. It's said that if you hear the scream of a banshee, you sir are about to die. Ooh. Yeah, R-I-P. Man.

That's bad news all around. It really is. According to an article that I read on Celticwettingwettingrings.org, which had nothing to do with wedding rings. But whatever. So I was confused, but it had a lot of info. We'll go with it. Banshees can appear in the form of a really beautiful woman wearing a long draping dress.

Always. A pale woman. Same. With long silver hair, or excuse me, a long silver dress to match her silver hair. Ooh. A headless woman holding a blood-filled bowl. Those are two very different things. Homegirl is naked from the waist up.

Oh, so rock and roll. Rock and roll. Holding a head in the bowl naked from the waist up. That's the most metal shit I've ever heard. That's like five-finger death punch. That's what that is. That's a great album cover. And I bet fairies, excuse me, banschies listen to five-finger death punch because why wouldn't they?

Of course they would. Yes. Because they hold their heads in bowls. 10-100%. And are naked from the waist up? Yeah. So are they still screaming if the head isn't. those a bull, the head bowl, the bullhead, just screaming?

I think it's up to interpretation. Woof. Or is the neck hole screaming? There's so many ways this could have. Well, yeah, because technically your vocal cord, what if both are screaming? Oh. Like, I'm just picturing a neck screaming. That's not okay.

That's not right. Also, she could appear as an old woman with scary-ass red eyes, wearing a dream dress because Merry Christmas. Oh, green dress. I think you said, dream dress. I might have. I meant to say green dress. Either way.

And she has white hair too or silver. And then the last way they can appear is as an old woman dressed in all black, hello future us. I was just going to say. With long gray hair and a veil covering her face. All right. So, moral of the story is that if you see an old scary woman with a dress, you're fucked. And if you see a pretty woman with long light hair, you're extra fucked. Yes.

And if you see a woman with her tits out holding a bowl with her head in it that's screaming at you. Rock and roll, bitch. I mean, just... That's what you do. That's what happens. That's just what happens. Rock and roll the fuck out of there. Involuntarily, that's what happened.

So the origin of the Banshee comes from women called Keeners, who used to sing sad songs to express their grief over someone's death. Oh. But they would take alcohol as payment for their singing, and that was considered sinful. Because they're Irish. But I would do that too. So the punishment.

for their sin is that they were doomed to become banshees. Oh, wow. Which I don't know who decides that. I mean, there must be some, some really square dude that's deciding that. Yeah, some, like, dick. Or just, like, some, like, mad-ass lady that got cheated on, I feel. Yeah. Some scorned woman.

Yeah, scorned lady. Yeah. But a side note, there are some chill banshees that just, like, sing a haunting song about how much they love a family member and how they're, like, concerned about them. But typically, whoever hears that song ends up dead after a few. days of hearing the singing. Well, that's kind of a bummer. Yeah. Like at first, you're like, this is chill. Yeah. And then it gets rough. Yeah. So, like, one of your family members passes away, and then you start to hear them singing. And you're like, well, shit. You're probably about to die.

Man. So, that's rough. Rock and roll for the next few days. Yeah, just live it up, man. So yeah, some Irish myths say that banshees are the ghosts of young girls who had suffered brutal deaths, and they appear to family members to warn them that their violent death will, too, come soon. God, I don't like want to know this stuff. I'd be like, you don't need to tell me. It's cool. Like, I don't, I don't go to like tarot card readers and be like, tell me when I'm going to die. Yeah. I don't want that shit. Well, I mean, like the good news is that if you see a bansche, it's not like you're going to die right then and there, but the bad news is that like you're going to die at some points shortly after that. That's the thing. It's like, you know it's like it's

common. So like RIP. So that wouldn't be cool. But then again, it would also allow you to live it up for a little while. You just don't even know how long though. I know. Because then it's like 10 years down the line, you're still like partying it. And at that point, you probably just killed yourself from all partying. So, yeah. That is a... Banschies. Banchies.

Banchies. Next up is Utbirds. Ooh, I've heard of these. Yeah, they're also known as My Rings. Or Mearings. Mearings. So this fairy comes from Scandinavia. Scandinavia.

Which, where Scandinavia? You know? You know. You know we're Scandinavia. Oh, I'm saying, do you know? Someone write in and tell Ash where Scandinavia is. thank you. It's said to be the spirit of a child who was abandoned by its parents who either couldn't take care of it or didn't want it. Well, that's just like gnarly. I don't like that.

Yeah, like if you don't want a kid, don't have one. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's a really good first step. Yeah. To not. I will say back then, like, probably not much break control up in the world. You couldn't just throw like a newvering in there. Maybe try, like some other methods. Yeah, like maybe just don't, you know. You know. Don't. Don't, we're not going to paint a picture. Don't, don't do it. Yucky. Bye. Don't do it, guys. I've never heard that before. Spray and pray. No. Fuck that. I mean, nobody should do it. That's not effective. But the word upward means that which is outside. So because these children were like pretty much just left to die and they weren't cared about. So sad. Yeah. So they were left without like any kind of burial or anything like that. Oh, man. So obviously they came back

super pissed about that. Yeah. And they came back in the form of ghost-like fairies. I mean, that's pretty rad. So normally they decide. That's a really shitty life. I mean, yeah. Like, might as well come back as a hateful fairy.

I feel like that's just like a ghost, though. This one is just kind of like a ghost. I would want to be known. Like, if I had like a really shitty life and death like that, I'd be like, I'm coming back as a vengeful fairy. Yeah. I feel like you just, that's the box you check. Yeah.

When you're like checking into heaven or you could like. remain in the afterlife, like just walking about. I'd be like, ghost, banshee, hateful fairy, chie. Hateful fairy all the way. So they typically reside in the woods or in super remote areas because that's pretty much just like where they were left to die. Oh, my God. So if a passerby is.

So exciting. It really is. So like somebody like passing by like maybe like on a hike or something in the woods, Um, the upbirds. Which is their first mistake. Yeah, don't go in the woods. Like, don't do it. That's what my favorite murder taught us.

Yeah. Stay out of the woods. But if they're like hiking or something, which like, don't do that. The upbirds will jump onto the person's back and demand. This is sad, though. Demand to be taken to a proper grave. That's all they want. Oh my God.

Can you imagine that for one second? Don't jump on my back because like, yo, you scared me. Some hateful fairy jump. on your back being like take me to a fucking proper grade and i feel like they say it like this take me to a grieve that's exactly that's how they say it take me right now take me right now that's how they say it they have crazy weird accents that are unidentified yeah i don't know what they are because i don't know where scandinavia is so either way i'd be like i don't know where one is yeah so obviously if you're fucking in the woods and somebody jumps on you you're gonna do what they say for sure so uh i don't

know, maybe that's just me. No way. I'm with you. If the person complies and takes them to the grave, they get heavier and heavier as they're, like, on the journey because they're on the person's back. So people say this happens because the closer to the grave they get, the more human they become. I'm terrified, right? Yeah, it's fucked up.

This whole thing is messing with my brain. And then some people say that as the victim of an upward travels with the upward on their back, it slowly sucks the life out of them, causing them to become weak. sink into the ground, which then becomes the upbirds grave. Hate that. Yeah. Hate that. Moral of this story?

That's a whole mountain of nope. Just don't abandon your kids. Yeah, don't do it. We won't have upbirds if you don't abandon your kids. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't. So yeah.

Holy shit. That one is heavy. Literally. Ha-ha-ha. Literally. Ha-ha. It's literally heavy. Well, because you have kids.

That just like can't. That's intense. Take me to a grave. Next up, berberocas. Ooh. Don't know. Those sound fun. These are fairies slash ogres, as in Shrek.

Love it already. Don't get. Don't get. They're super chill and really just enjoy changing in size and eating humans alive as snacks. So I don't really see the problem. I think they sound great. These are actually like a really quick one. They originated in Apayo, which is located in the Philippines.

All right. And I'm not sure if I'm saying that properly, but you know, guys, I fucking try. We give it our best. So the people in a pile believe that Berberocas will lay in a body of water and suck up all the water so that fish are just like flap it around everywhere. Also, I don't know how the person just like traveling doesn't notice that there's like this giant fucking thing full of water. This huge ogre that's just like, like, you know like those puffer fish thing? Yes. Like they just look like that but times 60 million. Oh my damn. So the people get excited that all these good for eating and selling fish are just laying all about. I mean, that's what I would think immediately.

So the town people come fucking running. Like, it's a pot of gold. Yeah, this is fine. And that's when the Berberoka drowns them by letting all the water come back out. So he's just like, poo. Pooh. Or he's just like, like, like that. And then they drown.

And then. Like I'm sad. People are drowning and shit. If you picture it, it's really funny. But like, also, fuck. But so after they drown, the Berberoka swallows them whole. So they die and then they get swallowed whole. Yeah.

Yay. Wow, Berberoka. And, um... They do the damn thing. So I guess they're kind of similar, I read to the Greek legend of the Naid, Nayad, which is a female spirit who also just chills in the water and fucks with people. Cool. There's a lot of, like, really scary water fairies.

Yeah. I only found one thing about how to like ward them off. And it said the same thing everywhere. It had no backstory to why this works. It's going to be something weird as fuck. They're afraid of crabs. I mean, same. So that's the only way to defeat them because they don't fucks with crabs.

They do not fucks with crabs. Which like me either. I was going to say, I don't either. So that's something we have in common. And I feel like when you have common ground, yeah, you can get along. Okay. I don't know if I dreamt this as a little kid, But I swear, I remember it so vividly that it had to have happened.

I was on the beach with my mom and her friend. Mom, like, if you're listening, hit me out. Hit me up. And all of a sudden, the tide, like, went out. And, like, 50 million fucking crabs started coming up onto the beach. Maybe. That is known to happen. Everywhere.

Like, that's definitely possible. And I don't know if I dreamt that or if it really fucking happened. Either way, that's terrible. And I got to know. Because I have random flashbacks. I got to know. I got to know. Do you ever have those things where like you're like, was that real?

Like I know this isn't real, but I had this weird, like it must have been a dream when I was little, that we went on on the front lawn like me and my dad. And we looked up and all the planets were like completely visible. Yeah, that didn't happen. It didn't happen. But I remember it being so vivid that I was like, why is that like sticking in my brain and why is it so vivid that image? Like I can still see it. I can see it exactly how I saw it in the vein. Remember it when the shed was in the backyard?

Yeah. I like always had memories of like these two like scary cartoon character guys making me go into the shed and like they were really mean. I literally hate that. Isn't that so scary? I hate that. Yeah. And like I was always like really afraid of them. I'm really glad that shed is gone. But like I had to go in the shed. That's awful. Is not really scary. I'm upset about it. And then one time this woman just like floated out of the coffee table and was like screaming at me. And one of my I don't know if it happened. I think it was. dream. Okay, that one I kind of love. She was real scurry. And then I used to, I'm really going off on a tangent, so don't edit this out. No, don't. It's like crazy. I need to know if I'm crazy. Is any therapist listening? There used to be somebody under your dresser that would like yell at me in the middle of you? Like if I would get close to the dresser, they'd be like, get out of here. Go away from the dresser. Oh, God. Yeah. That just gave me the hebes. I hate it. And one time I, this actually happened, I saw a ghost in our room. Oh yeah, I remember you telling me that. Yeah. Yeah. But I got to continue with the fairies.

I'll save that story for another day. Because I'm still reeling from the dresser thing. I don't even know how I got on to that tangent. I don't either, but I love that. All that shit happened. It wasn't a dream. Definitely not the crabs. I think that really did happen. The crabs, I think, happened. Yeah. Planets didn't. Yeah. Another cool thing about Berberocas is that the water created from their stomachs will allow whoever drinks it to see the future. Oh shit. Supposedly. But it's like backwash times thousand. And it probably has like some molecules of dead people in it. Yeah. Yeah. That's some hebees. I mean, if you want to see the future, you got to put in the work.

That's true. I can't just get that shit. Next is the calicantasario. Wow. Also known as the chicken riders. I like that. Yeah. Way better. So it sounds goofy, but if you actually stop to think about it, like a little, like tiny fairy just running around under a chicken or over a chicken, that's scary. I think it's still funny. I don't really like. chickens. Or roosters. I have a weird... I have a weird fear of roosters.

Because I remember reading that Junie B. Jones book, I'm really going off on tangents here. Are you going to write this one out? But I remember reading that book and Junie B. Jones said that a rooster could peck you into a nub. Whoa. Yeah, that's stayed with me. I don't know what fucks with that. Yeah, so I've always been afraid of roosters.

But anyway, these fairies originate from Greece and Italy. And for most of the year, they live underground. But during the 12 days of Christmas, which is December, 25th through January 6th, they hang out on Earth. So they're still chilling right now. Oh, shit. So during the ancient Greek holiday, Sicaea, Sakea, sounds good. Yeah. It is said that Zeus defeated the Titans and Kronos, but it is also rumored that while all of that was happening, the Calicantazario went around destroying the city for 12 days and stealing the souls of newborn babies. Same. I can actually picture you doing that, so I'm alarmed.

Um, so yeah, like legit baby souls. Damn. It's also rumored that any baby born during the 12 days on which the calicantazori roamed the earth, that they'd be in great danger of actually transforming into a calicantosory. Oh shit. I was born in that time. I know. I think I wrote something about that.

I am. Maybe I didn't. But to protect the babies, parents would cover them in bags filled of garlic. Yeah. And burn... That's why I love garlic so much. I mean, garlic is good. And they would burn.

logs, which like the mini naked fairies didn't enjoy the fumes of. Oh, also they're naked. Did I not mention that? Yeah, they're naked. So these is tiny little naked fairies riding on chickens? That's funny. I'll get into kind of what they look like. Now, I think things are great. Okay, so as for appearance, they don't really fall under like the Tinkerbell fairy category. No? No. Most of these do. People have conflicting ideas and descriptions of them. So some people say that they have hairy bodies with horse legs or boartusks. But then some people think that they're wicked tiny and like human-like, but they smell really bad. And they're just stanky-ass naked. They have like a serious case of be-o. Whoa. And popular belief is that they are small black creatures that are mostly human-looking

other than their long black tails. Oh. So like some people say that they're kind of like little like devils, but they're all black. And people refer to them as little black devils. Oh, okay. Also they're blind. Oh. Yeah. Oh. And they have lisps. I'm literally obsessed with these things. Yeah, I think they sound like pretty rad. They sound amazing.

So along with the many ideas of their appearance, people also have like tens of different methods of protection against them. So they say that you can leave a fire burning in your fireplace all night, which I 10 out of 10 do not recommend. I was just going to say that will bring all kinds of other bad things happening. Really big issues. But the idea is that they can't break into your house the way that like Santa does like through the chimney. And you can also throw stinky-ass shoes into the fire and hope that the smell keeps them away. But honestly, if my shoes haven't scared Annie away at this point, like, you're fucked. So yeah, that's pretty much them.

I love the chicken riders. They run around naked and blind on chickens stealing the souls of newborn babies. And just causing havoc. And if you don't want to listen to them lisp and steal your newborn baby soul, then you should burn some garlic. And maybe not light a fire for like a whole. long day, but... I love that they have a list. They're like, I'm going to steal your soul of your new baby.

You're going to steal your soul of your new baby. I can't see you. I can't see you. Next is the Banach. So the Banach fairies originate from Slavic mythology. And like anyone else, he enjoys a spa day. So Banach is just like one single dude. Who doesn't? He typically hangs out in steam rooms. Oh, so if there's not like a community of Banach's. It's like one

Vanneck. The Vanek. Yes, the Banick. So he hangs out in steam rooms, changing rooms, and bathhouses. Okay. They're always male. So it's always just like one. Like they travel by themselves. Wherever they are. There's just one of them. So it's like one. Um, or like troll. Like a troll under a bridge sort of. Yeah. Like a troll just appears. And they're always male and described as an old man with long white hair and a long white beard. That just sounds kind of like Santa. Whimsical? Yeah. They're very clean looking and clean smelling and pretty human-like.

I kind of love it already. Except their hands are covered in hair and their nails are claws. I mean, you can't have everything, I guess. You really can't. You can't have it all. He doesn't giveeth with both hands, so. Oh, no, he does, though. So their schick, like you were saying in episode one,

is that they're just, like, horny little people. That's amazing. That they dig spying on women while they bathe. And they see. your home as like their home. Oh, I don't love that. No. And because of this, they have really high standards of how you're supposed to act in their home. Oh, shit. So they despise anything religious, such as crosses or like any holy symbol. Okay. You must leave the third bath for them. So like in the old days, like one person would take a bath and another person. No one can take the third bath.

Oh. Which I don't understand how that works because doesn't somebody always have to take the third bath? Yeah, because isn't it like the same bath water? I am concerned. fusion. Yeah. So maybe it's like you just leave some time open to let him do his thing. He takes the third bath. And then you are like, and then you have to say like, I am taking the fourth bath. You must have to do that. But that's what I would do. Who would want the third bath? I want the first bath when it's nice and piping hot. And it's clean. And like, yeah. Well, that's just that's your first water, man. That's the cleanest water. Yeah. By the third bath, you're not taking a bath. Yeah. Like you're, you're just. You're just...

Durning yourself more. You're sitting in soupy, like, you know, peed. Soiled water. Yeah. Like, why are you even going to do it? Just live in your filth. Yeah.

Fuck that. Don't live in everyone else's. Um, yeah, so they consider that, like, extremely rude. Like, don't take the third bath. I'm sorry about it. They prefer that you keep it quiet while in the bathhouse. I mean, okay.

They don't want you to curse. So we would be... Sorry about it. And, um, you can't engage in sexy time in the bathhouse. Oh. That's super rude. Like, don't be. So he's a horny little thing, but he's like, no, no.

Well, he likes to watch the ladies bathe, but he doesn't want to watch the ladies and the man's bathe together. He doesn't like sexy time. No sexy time. Solo bath. Yeah, okay. If you don't follow these guidelines, the banic would be pretty tough on you. Uh-oh. He would douse you in boiling hot water if you were lucky.

And if you weren't so lucky, he would legit peel your skin off, Catherine Knight's style. Yikes. Yeah. It's also said that if he takes his claws to your back and decides to scratch you, that bad luck is coming your way. Man, that seems like a disproportionate response. Yeah, so like if you, like, had some sexy time in the bathroom. He's just going to flay you alive. No, yeah, I think you would take your skin off for that.

Maybe if you were like, oh, crap, you would get some boiling hot water. Or maybe just like a scratch. Yeah, but then like more bad luck comes with a scratch. So I feel like I'd rather just the really hot water for a second. Yeah, just a quick little scalding. Like, ah, somebody flushed the toilet kind of thing. They're like, shit, that's the Bannick.

Yeah. Now I'm going to think about that. Every time, like, the bath water, like the shower water gets really hot for a second because our old-ass host has crazy-ass water. I had to take a shower after I did, like, all my research on this one, and that was my last fairy, and I was like, oh, wait till tomorrow. Yeah, you're like, I don't really need to know. No.

What's going on here? Damn. So the Bannick is an... The Bannick is an interesting one. Yeah. He's multi-layered. He's pretty pissed. Because at first you're like, what up, little old man?

and then he's like, hi, and waves his hand, and he's got these crazy hairy hands with, like, claws, and you're like, oh, shit. Hi there. They all sound like that to you. Take me to your grave. But it's different. Take me to your grave. I want him to sound like, hi there.

I feel like he'd sound a little more influential. That guy just sounds like a squid. Hi there. I'm the medic. Don't pee in my bathroom. But he sounds like a square. Maybe he does. Because he's super, like, uptown.

Did you just kiss? He's like, are you having sexy time? Are you cursing? So he's like, hi there. I'm the banick. I don't want you having sexy time in here. I feel like that's also what the... Did you just say shit? The chicken riders, I feel like that's what they sound like.

Can you say, did you just say shit again? Did you don't say shit? I'm sorry, if I just blew your ear drums out with my laughter. Did you just say shit? I think we just, we manifested his voice. I think that is his voice. I think so. Personally.

Hopefully we don't find out. So, yeah, so is that the last fairy? That was it. That was the dark world of fairies. If we come across any other ones in our travels, we'll throw a part three up there someday. Right now we'll get away from fairies for a little while, but that was rad. If you guys want to request a minisode for next week. Because minisodes are like pretty open and like pretty open.

Like it doesn't just have to be true crime. Yeah, like as you've seen, it can be like weird shit, paranormal shit, you know. And Annie's raising her hand. Later. Later, Annie. But, yeah, I think that was pretty rad. Mine was really short, but, like, that's what a minisode is. I was going to say, sometimes it's nice to have a quick little minisode to.

It's just like, bloop, to just listen to on your commute or something. It's busted out. There was an interesting update in that Colorado. And remember, the last time we talked about this was a couple weeks ago, and I had set out, we were both like, we don't feel good. I don't feel good about the fiancé man. Tell me, tell me, tell me. And then as soon as we posted that episode, news came that they arrested the fiancé. Oh, shit. And everyone started messaging us and being like, oh shit, you guys are right. And I was like, knew it. We didn't want to be right. Did not want to be right. Yeah, I didn't want her to be dead. They still have not found it. It's Kelsey Barreth, her name is.

And they still haven't found her. But they dug up the whole backyard and didn't find her. Well, he's, well, again, remember, the cell phone pinged from like 600 miles away. So I have a feeling she's far away. Yeah. And he's being charged for first-degree murder. They haven't found her yet, but they're already charging him with murder. He must be charged with kidnapping if she's that far away, correct? No, he's also charged with solicitation for murder.

What does that mean again? Three counts of that, which means he tried to hire someone to murder her. Oh, shit. And he either tried three different times with three different people, or he had three different people do it. So they're still not letting everything out, like all the details, because they still haven't found her. And I think it's like they need to hold some stuff close to the chest

for it. But this dude is... Did some fucking fucked up shit. Yeah. It's like really... I've been like, I'm so obsessed with this case because it's just so bizarre and it's so sad. And that's really sad too for like their daughter

a one year old. Yeah. Yeah. And the one year old is with her family. Okay, that's good. Luckily now. So, because he had custody. He was like when she went missing, he took custody of her. Which is horrifying. I'm glad she's so scary. But yeah, I thought that was, it was, it was crazy that right after we posted the episode, it was like, boom, news that he did. So I was like, oh. Damn. But yeah. So those, that's the big true crime news. Like, here's some news. Just get divorced.

Exactly. Like, and they weren't even married. Were they divorced? Oh. Just break up. And from what I've read, it doesn't even look like they were together at the time. I think she ended the engagement. Oh, so he was pissed off. Yeah. So it's like... Like, there's a lot of fish in the sea. You don't got a murder one to get to the next one. Well, and he seemed like three counts of solicitation for murder, you really wanted her dead. I just don't understand.

Like, people have done some fucked up shit to me. Yeah? I've never wanted someone to die. That's an... And somebody you, like, are engaged to? You had a child with them. You literally created life with them. Like, that should give you some kind of bond.

You know, it's like, damn. Yeah, that's weird. So we'll definitely keep updating on that as it comes, because... Holy shit. Yeah, that's a lot. But other than that, I think that's really all we got, right? Yeah. Other than we'll update you guys with all the new fun stuff.

Website will be coming up soon. Mm-hmm. And we'll announce that when it happens, and the website will probably be like a nice little central area for everybody to get all the info. We'll still post on everything, but it'll be a nice centralized area. Mm-hmm.

In the meantime, you can follow us on Instagram at... Morbid Podcast. Follow us on Twitter. A morbid podcast. Send us a message on Facebook. Morbid slash a true crime podcast. Email us. Morbidpodcast.com.

Donate to our Patreon if you feel so inclined. Patreon.com slash morbid podcast. And I think I said everything. Yeah, I think you got it all. Subscribe, rate, review. If you're going to be nice. Tell all your friends. You know, the word of mouth is how we get people to listen to us.

So everybody's been awesome with that, by the way, because people keep telling us, like, I got my whole office to listen to you. I know. So you guys have been fucking amazing. Like, really, thank you guys so much. Thank you for being our personal marketing team, all of you. That's wild. Isn't it wild?

Yeah. And I'm telling you, live show, man. Shit. 2019. We're putting it into the universe. We're going to do our first live show in 2019. And I'm going to shit my pants. Shit, shit my pants.

There we go. So hopefully, yeah, and hopefully we'll be able to, Go to CrimeCon in June and Nolans. We're hoping we can. I really hope so. Can't guarantee it, but we're definitely giving it our own. We're looking into it. And we'll let you guys know when that's, you know, when we know if we're coming or not.

Because people have mentioned that too. I want to go to New Orleans so loudly. It's on my bucket list. So it's where my book is based, the book I'm writing. You got to go. I got to do my research. Gotta go to the bye. Wow.

But, yeah. So that's all the updates, I think. Yeah. And thank you for listening. and we hope you keep it weird keep it weird don't say shit

give me a ride to my grave to my grave and clean up your shit and don't shit in the bathhouse and give me that third bath and don't engage in sexy time bye

bye bye bye