Morbid - Listener Tales 113: 90's Sleepover Edition!

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Weirdos! Grab your PJ's, some Aqua Net, and your favorite blue eye shadow and get ready to burn the midnight oil with us! This time, Deb has found 90's tales that will ensure that you're not the first to fall asleep at the slumber party... OH! And these tales are BY you FOR  you and ALL ABOUT YOU juuuuust in case you were wondering! Don't forget to check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at  [e-mail] with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :) Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. And this is morbid in the 90s at a sleepover. I decided to go with me in the 90s, who was like a 12, 13 year old. I like that. Like, who can't do their makeup. You keep saying that, but I like it. He really goes for like the like high contrast shit going on.

That's what I went with. It's very of the time. I was going for a Pam Anderson eye and a Y2K hair. That's, and honestly, you nailed it. You look really pretty. Thank you. I think you look like you would be a cool girl. You look pretty like as 12.

Yeah, like I look like I'm like... You could be on the cover of like Tiger Beat. Hell yeah. Yeah. Or I could be holding a Tiger Bean pretending I was on the cover. No, you could be on the cover for sure. You know. Yeah.

I also did a zigzag part. You did, which is really iconic. It took me six tries, I think. It always took me a lot of tries, so I don't think I ever mastered it. The secret, I think, is that you do it tinier than you think. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And you really have to keep track of where that hair goes and then you pin it.

inch and you separate. That's that. And that's zigzag parts in case you're wondering. Yeah. You know? So these are listener tales and they're 90s themed. Yeah. And they're brought to you, buy you for you from you and all about you. I wish it was the 90s again. I wish I say it all the time. I wish I got to experience more of the 90s. It was, I know it wasn't like a better time overall. Like I know that. Like the nuance of it all. Yeah. I mean, no time is that much better. The time before the internet, I think personally was better. Yeah. I think. so too but now you have like 11 year olds doing get readies with me to go to fifth grade have you guys seen that shit it's so disturbing it's honestly upsetting to me like stop letting your children be on ticot and like

not only that doing get readies with me while they're cracking open in alani which is going to make their heart explode at like 7 a.m. 200 milligrams of caffeine in alani I question I am the I'm a 30 year old woman which I still can't get past what did he say I am a 30 year old married woman. I am a 30 year old married woman. He said, don't forget you're married. He said, bet you got a drew. But I question drinking an alani. I'm like, do I do this today? I know you never drank in an alani because I'm too scared. My heart will explode. Here's the thing, don't because you'll take that risk. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. And of course, like, they're not going to, like, your heart's not going to. Yeah, we're not saying Alani's are going to make your heart. They're not. I drink them.

Yeah. But like, I'm just scared of energy drinks. In general. Drinks freak me out. I'm scared. I'm going to get, like, heart pelt. Have you ever had an energy drink? I've had, I've literally taken like a sip of a red bowl. Red. Red. Oh my God. But I don't really like the taste of energy drinks. And if I don't like the taste of something, it's why I don't really drink either. If I don't like the taste of something, what the fuck is the point? My entire thing is like I want to enjoy what I'm ingesting.

That's probably like a mocktail, to be honest. That's the thing. I love a mocktail because they taste like juice. And they don't make me feel yucky. And they don't have that weird like alcohol-y taste. Yeah. You know? That's why I used to like shnops because I liked the taste of shnops.

Yeah, see, I'm a Shirley Temple gal. I love a Shirley Temple. I also love what a hot commodity it is when either of us orders a Shirley Temple at an event. People are like, a Shirley Temple. Does it have gin in it? We're like, nobody knows what to do. And I'm like, guys, it's yummy. That's a fun drink.

If you haven't had a Shirley Temple, whoa, go get one. And also, if you haven't had one in a while, go get one. It's nice. And you don't have to put gin in it. And you won't feel like shit. That's true. It's nice. It's just a Shirley.

You get to enjoy a pretty little drink that taste yummy. That doesn't make you feel shitty. I don't even know if we acknowledged this. And like, fooie on us. If we didn't, we might have. Fooey. Canada Dry sent us a bunch of their exclusive flavors. This is not a paid ad at all.

No, it's not. You're talking about Shirley Temples. Yeah. They sent us like the cherry fruit splash. And then there was a strawberry flavored one. The strawberry flavored one tastes like a Shirley Temple. Yeah. And again, not an ad.

They just sent us those and they were really good. Yeah, I didn't even know that they had. flavors. So thanks. Canada dry. Yeah. So you could get a Shirley Temple or you could get one of those. Yeah. Go for it. Yeah. Um, do you... Did he say you're funny? He said you are funny. Oh my God, Nicholas. I think that I'm gonna take that. I'm gonna take that to me. I think he said it to me. I feel like he never says nice things to me. You're like I'm taking that one. You can take it. Okay. Thank you, Nicholas. I'm so, I'm elated. I love that. I'm over the moon.

Thank you, Nicholas. What if he literally said, not. Not you. Not you, bitch. You are not the one. Also, on the book tour, we met so many people that were so pro-Nicholas. I'm starting to believe that the people who are not are bots. Yeah. You're boss. I think you're fake if you don't like Nicholas.

I think the Nicholas lovers outweigh the Nicholas haters. Wasn't there a Nicholas? Sure, that said justice for Nicholas or something like that? No, it was a justice for someone from the book. Oh, okay. We won't spoil it because I did spoil it at the New York event. Sorry if you were there. I'm still,

I'm embarrassed to this day. You know, when you wake up at 3 a.m. thinking about things. I'm like, sorry I was spoiled that. That was hilarious. It's rough.

All right. I feel like you always read the first one. I'll read the first one. Do it, girl. Let's go. All right, let me make sure I'm speaking into the mic here. Speak into it.

This one's called a dreamy discovery listener tale. You are more than permitted to use my name and all names in this story. as I'm just a real-ass bitch and keep things authentic. I already love you. I started listening to you gorgeous ladies a few months ago and have literally not turned back. You should turn back and look behind you. Make sure nothing's there.

That's my dad joke. There's something about the both of you that is so damn comforting to me. I don't know if it's your love for all things. Spooky. The dark humor. I love it. Your authenticity, love for F-bombs

or just the fact that y'all are boss-ass bitches. But you guys are my literal soul sisters. I love you. We just became best friends. We did. And I love you so much. I love you so much. What did you say?

He always said that. He says that when we get too excited about something. He does. Nicholas might be Gen Z. He's like, cringe. He's like, that's cringy. Shut up. Okay.

I'm just kidding, Nicholas. What if he turns on you? He will never. I love the confidence. He will never. He will never. I know that about Nicholas. She said I curated this motherfucker.

No way. I drive a solid hour and a half to and from work as a direct support professional for an adult with autism. And this podcast keeps me fucking going. I also turned to my ever-stoic, muscular, stone-cold tattooed hubby onto you guys. And now we listen together. I love that. That's precious. And now he's going to hear that you said that.

And it's going to give him a little boost. It's true. He's going to love that. They love a compliment. So let's begin. Shall we? We shall. I want to tell you some about the time, not too long.

ago actually, where my dreams were helping me to find a long-lost childhood treasure of mine from my now-deceased mother. Stay with me here. And honestly, there's so much more to all of this that I might circle back one day to write more tales. But this one just gives me the gooseys. I like that. I love goosies. And please write more other tales. Yeah, all of them. I am the youngest sibling of three and the only girl. I was also born into a very Italian family from a very Italian mother whose name is Gina. Gina. However, I have super fair skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. Naturally, my older brothers, four years between the middle brother and I and six years between the oldest brother and I,

used to rag on me that I was adopted and seemingly found enjoyment out of watching the life, the life exit my eyeballs as I looked at my parents, specifically my mom, who I look just like and contemplated life. How do I look like you if I'm adopted? I would have many conversations with my mom asking her if I was actually adopted, and she would always laugh and provide me with reassurance that I came from her Vege. My words, not hers. Sorry, mom. She proceeded to tell me that she was going to keep having babies until she had, quote, her girl. Lo and behold, I was born on a Friday, May 10th, 1991. 90s gal for life. And my mom got to bring me home on Mother's Day. Oh, that's sick. Oh, that's like gorge. That's awesome. That's beautiful. She told me that I was the best Mother's Day gift she

could have ever received. I could cry typing that. Needless to say, as the baby and the only girl in my immediate family. My mom and I had such a special relationship. That woman was my entire being in soul. And I like to think that I was hers. You're going to make me cry. I was going to, I'm going to lose it. I was definitely spoiled.

But come on, I was her only daughter. Sometimes it's not a bad thing, you know? No. During this time, my mom opened her own preschool, called the Lane Day School. I was a year old when she started, but apparently was always in the mix. My great grandmother, aka me mom, real name Mildred. And my grandmother, aka Noni. Or is it Nani?

Yeah, it's Nani. That's Italian. Real name Joy. I love that. Lived in a very neat and definitely very haunted home in which my mom, little by little, began turning into said preschool. Eventually, my me mom and Nani relocated to a new home, very willingly. And my mom converted their old house into a fully licensed preschool.

I attended the Lane Day school during my preschool years and was a fucking terror. Hashtag separation anxiety from my mom. What is he said? like it. I said, I don't like that you were in preschool. Hashtag separation anxiety from my mom. Oh, been there. I've had it. My kids have it. Spoiler, she was always in the same fucking building, but I would cry my little eyes out on a daily basis for her. Anyway, the Lane Day school became such a significant part of me and my brother's lives due to how much time we spent there. As we became elementary age, we would carpool with a family friend who would pick us up from our local Catholic school

and take us to our mom's school, where we would do our homework, raid the pantry for snacks, and help my mom with little odds and ends of closing the place up. That's adorable. I know. I love that. I loved being there. Despite the eerie feeling I would get when walking up the stairs

from the dark creepy basement to the main floor. I always felt like someone was behind me. Not necessarily anything bad, but scary enough that I would haul fucking ass up those steps. So fast that nine times out of ten, my legs would give out and I would trip and fall, only to spring right the fuck back up on my two. two feet and continue hauling ass until I was in the clear. I don't know. There was something

slash someone slash others in that place, but from the other side, I swear. As I got older, I learned from my mom and my nanny that they used to wear, they used to hear what sounded like women talking and clinking glasses from the basement. I'm obsessed with that. I love that. No fucking thank you. I mean, they're not obsessed with that. I mean, they sound lovely, perhaps having a little ghostly tea party, but I'll take a rain check ladies. I would totally haunt my basement something and just have a tea party down there. Just clinking glasses. Fuck yeah. Shirley Temps.

Yeah, yeah. Shirley Tees. Because of the significance of the school building had on my whole family, due mostly to my mom building a damn empire from the ground up. Hell yeah, mama. We not only spent a lot of time there to help my mom, but we would also have our birthday parties there. It was perfect, spacious, kid-friendly, son's the tea party ghosts in the basement, a playground, and a lot of land to just be kids and have fun.

On my fourth birthday, we were there celebrating, and my mom, dad, brothers, and party guests led me to the garage for my birthday surprise. I remember walking in and seeing the most gorge 90 battery-powered Barbie Lamborghini with a big bow on it. I'm so jealous. Iconic. For any 90s ladies or gents listening, if you know, you know, the Barbie Lambo was the actual tits. I wanted one of those so bad and I never got one. I'm surprised. I didn't get it.

I always wanted the Barbie Jeep. That was big when I was little. I also wanted that but that Lambo. I never got any of the Barbie cars. You want to hear about it? It had a fucking car phone that you could pick up and fucking chat with Barbie on. It's really cool. And had the most 90s color scheme going on.

See attached photos. Oh, I'm so excited. I fucking loved that car and I loved it even more because it was from my mom. Oh. I can remember riding the Barbie Lambo. here and there at my childhood home, but the last I ever recalled seeing it was at my mom's school. He said, back off my Barbie limbo.

Fast forward a bit. My parents eventually sold the Lane Day School and a big piece of our childhood, but it was time and we were all okay with it. I was about 16 years old, so my mind was on teenage life and making questionable decisions. Happens.

My mom ended up selling the building to someone we knew, so it wasn't too far gone. In October 2017, I gave birth to my first child. child, my son Jay. My little guy had a tough start with a heart condition and an 86-day stay at our local children's hospital. Oh my God. Damn. But he pulled through and we were finally able to bring him home for the very first time on January 10th, 2018. Oh. During those 86 days, my mom only missed one day to come and sit with me and my son while we battled with heart medications, several cardioversions, a brain bleed and premature lung disease amongst many other health ailments that my little dude plowed through

like a champ he is. That woman pulled me through more than I can even put into words, all while beginning to, quote, deal with the signs of pancreatic cancer unbeknownst to all of us. Without giving all the fucking devastating details, my mom passed away on January 15th, 2021, not from cancer, but from fucking COVID. Oh my God. That pisses me off. I'm so sorry. I'm so mad you. It was a life-altering moment for me, my son, my husband, and my unborn child, whom I was seven months pregnant with and was a girl, the girl that was to be my mom's very first granddaughter. Oh, just give me chills. God damn. On March 11th, 2021, almost exactly two months after losing my mom, my second child, my daughter Ella. I love that. That's such a pretty name. Was born. Little did I

know this little girl was going to heal me in ways I didn't know I could heal. Specifically speaking to losing my mom. Handing down little bits of your childhood to your children is healing in and of itself. I did it with my son and could do it even easier with my daughter since we were both females. Soon enough, I began thinking back to my Barbie Lamborghini and its whereabouts and the dreams started. Hmm. I began incessantly asking my brothers and my dad where we thought that car was, which no one had answers to. My dad told me it was stored at my brother's house. That brother told me he last saw it at my mom's school. The other brother told me he had no idea. We weren't getting far. In the meantime, I enrolled little Ella into daycare. Where would she be going, you ask?

To the new owner of my mom's old school. Oh, that's so special. That's awesome. I was not able to send Jay there because he left his 86 day stay at the hospital when he was a baby with moderate to severe bilateral sensorial hearing loss. Wow. Oh my God. It was enrolled in the early learning program at our local school for the deaf when he was. he was 18 months old. If you ever want to be mind-blown, come watch my six-year-old fluently bilingual and spoken English in ASL. But that's a story for a different day.

That's so badass. That's incredible. I took ASL in college and it was hard. It's hard. I ended up like not being able to continue. How incredible is that? Six-year-old being completely fluent. That's wild. The kid is fucking unreal and amazing and I swear he's a little earth angel.

Like I said, maybe next tale because my boy sees some shit. Send it. Anywho, my daughter, attended what was now called Learning Lane, where the new owner was smitten with the idea of life coming full circle and my daughter now attending the same school I attended as a little girl. Sadly enough, though, two years later, the new owner decided to sell the building and Learning Lane was no more. But the dreams. I'm a little afraid, Nicholas. Because she said the dreams. The dreams. I would say they started around the time I enrolled

my daughter at the school, which is eerie when you think about it. Sometimes the dreams would just be me walking around the building, but exactly as I was when I was a little girl. Other dreams, I would be in that same creepy basement, but every single special childhood item of mine would be down there, and I would be rummaging through said items looking for something. But exactly what I was looking for in the dreams was unknown. Soon enough, the dreams were happening almost nightly, specifically when the new owner announced to all of us parents about her selling the school and closing down. I got the sense that my dreams, I got the sense from my dreams. that they were trying to tell me something, and each time I woke, I wanted to go back.

The dream soon enough started talking, taking me to the two sheds on the property of the school. The same two sheds built by my dad when my parents started the business back in 1991. There were times I would walk into one of the sheds and it would be empty. Then other times, I'd walk to the other shed, but it would be locked and I couldn't get in. In this same time frame of those dreams becoming more and more persistent, the school building itself, landed itself a for sale sign on the front lawn and a new buyer purchased the building. About a week or so later, one of my friends who knew of my connection to the school building texted me a Facebook post. It's important to note I was not on Facebook at this time. So if it

wasn't for my friend, I would have never known anything. The post was the new building's owner's secretary holding essentially a garage sale for all the items left behind from the previous school's owner. It was noted in the post that the owner essentially shut the doors and left behind most everything. The post proceeded to give an announcement that that that upcoming Friday and Saturday between the hours of 12 and 4, people were allowed to come walk through the building and buy what was left before they gutted the entire building to turn it into the new owner's living space and realtor office. I figured, hey, why not? That'll be fun. I called my grandmother, remember, the very first tenant along with my great-grandmother. Asked if she wanted to join me

in that Friday afternoon. I picked up my nana and we made our way to the school. When I first walked in, everything seemed to be as same as when I last saw it from bringing Ella to school when she attended. The building smelled like pencils, crayons, and bleach with a little hint of an appellee smell. Very specific, I know. Eventually, I got to talking to the woman who organized the whole garage sale and told her of our family's history with the building. Her mind was blown and she pretty much said, go look wherever you want in here. So I did. Something was pulling me to go into the basement. So I told my grandmother where I was going and I made way down the very steps. I used to haul my ass up to get away from the tea party old lady ghosts, who were probably actually very nice.

Lo and behold, the fucking lights for the basement didn't work. Oh no. So I whipped out my phone and used the flashlight and began walking through the cold, dark, but very full basement. When I say I felt like I entered a time machine and went back 29 years, I shit you not. I felt like I was back in time. As I type as I'm typing this, my entire body is full of goosebumps and my hair is standing straight up.

It's weird, though. The fear I used to feel from the basement as a child was gone. and I was on a mission to look through every piece of my childhood history that I could find. Soon enough, I came across an old classroom and mounds of old papers with my mom's handwriting on them. Oh, that's so special. Olds classroom newsletters, class crafts and projects, staff newsletters, all folders in folders labeled with my mom's writing. Wow.

I love that. Even old photos of previous students. It was wild. I felt like I stepped back in time and I could not stop looking through all these items, trying to find anything I could relating back to my mom. I don't know how long I was in that basement, but soon enough, I emerged in somewhat of a daze. I found my nanny with a handful of items she was ready to bring with her,

and we were about to say her goodbyes so that the garage sale lady, to the nice garage sale lady, when something quite literally screamed at me to ask about the two sheds. So I did. I first asked about the larger shed, to which the woman said there was not much in there, mainly old chairs and lawn equipment.

Defeated, I said, Oh, damn, okay, to which she said, is there something specific you're looking for? The words, I used to have a Barbie lamb where all I could get out of my mouth before the woman smiled, grabbed a set of keys, and said, I think I have something to show you. When I say I ship myself, I actually, I didn't actually, but I wanted to. So I followed the woman down the drive to the old dilapidated blue shed. As soon as she turned the key to unlock and open it, she warned me she might be totally wrong in thinking she knew what I was about looking for. But as she opened those two squeaky splintering doors, my heart fell out of my asshole. There, leaning vertically in the left corner of that shed was my

fucking Barbie Lamborghini from 29 years ago. How cool is that? I began sobbing, then trying to explain why I felt so strongly about this piece of plastic sitting in this shed covered with nest, spiders, and dirt. My nonny was sobbing when I was finally able to tell the woman, Did he say I don't understand? You can't understand. That's weird, because she's basically saying you can't understand, like, the significance of this. He's like, you don't even know. He's like, you can't even understand.

And this was her dream. That first shed had basically nothing in it. The second shed was like chocolate lock but locked. Yeah. It was such a moment I could relive it a million times. I asked the woman what she wanted for it. And through tears, she said, I don't want money. Take it.

That day it hit me why I had had so many dreams of the school building. something someone was trying to lead me to this very place to find the one thing that was tormenting me that I thought had been lost all those years I took the car home that day and began cleaning it up for my little Ella that Christmas the Barbie Lambo sat in our living room with a big bow on it for her as if it had been presented to me 29 years before for my fourth birthday what a fucking moment as a mommy I'm next level shook by this I like to we're just doing our job man This is morbid. Welcome.

I like to think my mom knew how much I was trying to hold on to as much. Always. Always. He's like, you're always doing listener tales. It's always morbid. I'm always here for listener tales. I know. We don't bring you up for anything else.

I know. I would love to. Maybe we will. I like to think my mom knew how energy. All right. Are we giving you a lot of energy or are we taking it? He was doing the like Beyonce like energy. I like to think my mom knew how much I was trying to hold on to as much as I possibly could of her and was using my dreams to direct me.

Or perhaps it was the lovely old tea party ghost ladies trying to help a sister out. Maybe both. Whatever it was, I've not dreamt of the school building since that very day when I finally found that Barbie Lambo. Now it sits nice and snug in my garage and both of my kids like to tear it up and down the street while I quite literally fill it with warmth. watching them enjoy something I did as a child and creating memories for them just as my mom did for me. You're going to kill me. Please enjoy the attached photos of my sweet family, my mama, and an oldie but goody of me in the Barbie Lambo the very night I got it with a current photo of my daughter in it just last winter. Thank you both for always keeping it weird, but not so weird that your old ghostly lady self resides in the basement of a preschool and has tea parties with other ghostly old ladies who then helped this very same girl they used to scare the shit out of find her long lost child. childhood, Barbie Lamborghini power wheels car to help her cope with the grief of losing her mom,

who in fact ends up being the very woman who used to run the school building and here those goes to you parties. Me too. Shue. I love you both, you spooky bitches, with the most love, Lori. Oh, Lori. Lori. Oh, my God.

Barbie Lambo! Look at that thing. It's tricked out. What a badass car. Look at your 90s outfit. Oh. Oh, my God. And you like souped it up for her.

Oh my God. Also, you and your daughter could be twins in those photos. That's crazy. Oh, and there it is, like, stacked against the shed. That's crazy. I love this. Oh, look at your family. Oh, my God.

You're all adorable. Oh, my gosh. Stop it. Oh, Mama. Oh, my gosh. That was such a heartwarming story. You know what, too. I know that feeling of, like, being able to share something that you loved when you were

little with your kids because I had these, like, what are they, big, wheels. Oh, yeah. And we, I got to give one of, my dad had bought one more for one of my other kings. And then they both will big wheel it. Still big wheel it down the driveway. Yep. And it's hilarious to see them big wheeling it in 2026. I know. Because it has the little thing you pull that like makes you spin. I love that. So you would big wheel like crazy and then you pulled that and you go just like skirt. Yeah. Skirt. That's the original skirt. Skirt. They have loved those things. Nicholas Nobody's butt is on the table

Hello Buttocks on the table Is your buttocks on the table? My feet are on the table Buttox on the table That'd be a good band name We are buttocks on the table I just want how proper that is

Buttocks I wish it's He said upon Buttox upon but talks upon the table. Nicholas, I love you. Our next tale is, I met a murderer. Hey.

And we changed a couple names just in case. So it starts with, I am not a long-time listener, but found you in January of 2022, which like now you kind of are a long-time listener. Yeah. You really are. It was going to be 20-27. Yeah. Fuck.

I know. Well, that's when I realized I needed something to entertain myself at work. I love spooky things. True crime, criminal minds, mind hunter, etc. RIP. Mind Hunter. Bring it back. So I decided I needed more of this in my life while typing away on a computer and attempting to drown out all the crazy things going on in the office. Lucky for me, I stumbled on you lovely ladies and I was hooked right away due to the way that you explain

your cases. Linear is the best. And your lighthearted banter and dark humor. The more content I listened to, the more I loved it. The first few episodes I listened to was the four-part series on Albert Fish. Holy shit. You really dove head first in. Yeah, that was a choice. Yeah. One addition to having my mind blown by that series, I found myself laughing out loud and wanting to join in on your conversations. Since you could use Gilmore Girls as a reference point, quote, hocus pocus, buffy, proud rewatcher as well. It inspired me to begin watching True Blood. Everybody should watch True Blood. And Boy Meets World, just to name a few. Also, you are the only other humans I have ever heard reference Top That from Teen Witch. Oh my God, yes. And I couldn't believe my ears the first time I heard the

reference. Top that. Top that. I'm hot. You're not. I get those TikToks all the time. After my fifth or six listener tale episode, I was thinking to myself, why hasn't anything weird or spooky happened to me that I could send in? There was that time my friend and I played with the Ouija board during a sleepover and we chatted with a ghost girl who was friendly, but also thought it would be fun to turn on her CD player and rearrange your Beanie Babies. Oh. But that's not exciting. That's, I don't know. That's kind of exciting to me. It's pretty exciting. Well, then there was the episode about I met a murderer, and it hit me, my summer encounter with Luke, you say.

To give my story- I'm not stripping everybody. I have a t-shirt under this. I'm just hot. Thank you for telling you. Yeah, I just wanted to let everybody know that I wasn't being weird in the corner. I was so abrupt. What are you addressing right now?

I am not, I'm not about that. To give my story a little context, let me explain that I was born in a sleepy mountain town in North Carolina, where I lived happily until I was 10 years old, and my mom and stepdad dragged us six hours north to Nowhersville, Southeast, Ohio, to his hometown and his family. Hmm, that stinks. Since I was desperately homesick for my uncle, who has since transitioned, I'm only explaining that as it is contextually necessary for understanding how it could be that my uncle had a female roommate from the military. Every summer after that moved to Ohio, I made a habit of going to my granny's house every summer vacation. My uncle had been in the military,

and when discharged, brought home with them a roommate and a good friend. Let's call her Lynn. Lynn. I instantly liked Lynn and thought she was super fun. She was a Korean American, adopted, and had a sense of humor, a love of horror movies, and was really good at braiding hair. Lynn sounds awesome. He said, why is she here? Damn. Like, Lynn is here because she's super good at braiding hair. And she's fun and you can watch horror movies with her. She liked horror movies. Lynn lived with us for a while before I was dragged to BFE at Ohio, but eventually moved out. When I say us, it was me, my mom, my stepdad, my uncle, and my granny, all at Granny's house. Damn. An odd Brady Bunch, if you will. Yeah. The summer when I was 14, I was visiting Granny like usual. While she was at work along with my uncle, I lived the teenage dream.

I watched TV. I ate too much, slept too much, sun bathed and spent time helping her on the house. Lynn, as she had eventually gotten her own place, would often come by on her days off and take me out to lunch, shopping, or to the movies. This was, of course, back in the late 90s when it didn't cost a week's paycheck to do all of those things in one day. I was going to say you could easily do this. Yeah, it's fucking crazy how much things cost right now. One fateful morning, Lynn arrived to pick me up. Unannounced. No text, no call.

Just a knock at the door and, hey, kid, get ready. Let's do something. Ah, the 90s. It was the 90s. And I was super excited to get out of the house. Did you just say stop? Shop. Shop.

Oh, yeah. You want to shop, Nicholas? That's what they're doing. Yeah. We hopped in her pickup truck and set out on the interstate, headed for the nearest mall, which was about a 30-minute drive. While walking through the food court, I would literally kill somebody. for the terriaki chicken at the food court.

The bourbon street chicken? Yes, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I make. That's the bourbon chicken that I make. I won't kill all of you for it, I promise. Did he say not all of us? Yeah. No, I took that as Nicholas being like, not all of us want that.

Like, Nicholas feels like the type to be like, not all of us. But my buttocks may be on the table, but. But has he enjoyed food court? I don't think he knows this. So I think he's like, oh. I took the girls to them all the other day and I was so tempted. to be like, do you want to eat this food court food? But then I was like, can I feed her kids food court food?

Are they ready yet? I don't know. I haven't yet. I had a feeling you hadn't yet. I already gave one soda accidentally. I don't need to get crazier. And she never lets me forget it. She won't.

Remember that time when you gave me soda? I'm like, I gave you a sip. And then your mom looked to me like she was going to wring my neck. All right. So I didn't take them to the food court. No. So walking through the food court, Lynn recognized someone and stopped a say hi. He had long hair, flannel shirt, on top of a t-shirt, cargo pants, and sneakers.

Grungy looking but cool. Kurt Cobain, I have a story kind of way. Yeah. However, her acquaintance, Luke, didn't recall her name and couldn't place her at all. His buddies even said, look at her ink, man. That always helps. She showed him her tattoos, and he still didn't seem to recognize her. So we said, okay, have a great day. Enjoy your Orange Julius. We're on our way. I would also fight somebody for Orange Julius. Yep. About five minutes later, her friend Luke caught up with us. Now let me explain how she knew Luke. I absolutely loved Lynn. And while she was an awesome person and one of my favorite adults when I was young, she had a lot of struggles mentally and emotionally. Several months prior to

heading to Granny's for the summer, Lynn had been in a relationship with a man who she thought was her forever person. Unfortunately, they broke up. She took it really hard, so much so that she was actually admitted into a hospital for intensive therapy. That's awful. But I'm glad she got past it. Yeah. And like healed. Now this is where she knew Luke from. She had seen him at group therapy and thought he was there for substance abuse at the absolute worst, which I'm assuming is why she thought it was safe to say hi to him while in charge of me, a 14-year-old. Yeah, you're getting a bad feeling.

Yeah, he's like, I don't know about this Luke guy. Well, Luke walked around the mall with us while we did the usual 90s mall things. We told him we were headed to another mall across town, 15 minutes by highway. Two malls, one day. I don't even know if I've done that, dog. If he wanted to come and get something to eat with us, he could. He said, sure, so we headed to her car. Oh my God.

Uh-oh. Back in the tiny pickup truck, I had to ride in the middle, quite cozy with both Linn and Luke. The trip was uneventful for the both part, thank God. He said it. Hopefully. Hopefully, uneventful. I thought Luke was fairly quiet, but we had the windows down on the highway, making it super loud in the cab of the truck, which made it hard to talk anyway. As I knew the windows would be down for the highway trip, I made sure I had a hairbrush.

I placed it on the dashboard of the truck, and it almost slid off and right out the window. But Luke caught my brush for me and saved me from the ultimate. embarrassment of windblown hair at the next location. Wow, Luke. I thought to myself, well, he must be nice. Murderers do not catch hairbrushes. That's a motto to live by. It's valid. Murders don't catch hairbrushes. No, never. Yeah. After some more shopping and getting a quick lunch, Luke asked if we could take him back to the first mall to meet up with his ride. We dropped him off. Also, can I interrupt you really quick? I just thought of the, is it the wayside school? Like, vampires don't wear polka dots? Oh my God. That's a, that's the unreleased book, murders don't

catch hairbrushes. That's actually so funny that you brought that up. That's the first book that I read when I moved into Ma and Puppa's house. I had that book. I was literally 15. I didn't have any of my own books and I looked through your old bookshelf and everything was either too scary or like, I don't even know. And I said, I guess we'll read this little like kids book. I used to, I think it's the wayside school. I'm pretty sure. Is it that or is it the box card children? No, the box car children is like a whole series. That's actually hilarious. You had all of those I did I had all those

What did he say? Dangerous The box car children was like a whole series About like literal children who lived in a box car Of a train Oh I only said that because I just remembered that you had it I thought it was the box car children What is it?

I think it's the Wayside school The Bailey School kids There you go That's what it was I knew it was he just an idiotic I think you might be turning on you Nicholas We listen and we don't judge

Okay I don't know what you're reading but we're in a fight. I thought you said this would never happen. No, I said he never turned on me. I didn't say we'd never get in a fight. That's part of any relationship. It is. It is.

Yeah, the Adventures of the Bailey School. That's why I confused it, like, Wayside. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's very similar. Yeah, there was the Bailey School, like, series, had the coolest shit. Yeah. I'm trying to remember some. You had a lot of them. Dragons don't cook pizza.

Frankenstein doesn't pay. plant petunias, ghost don't eat potato chips. Murders don't catch hairbrushes. Yeah, it could fit right it. I think it's the unreleased one. Maybe. Release it. Well, we dropped them off.

We headed back to Granny's house where Lynn dropped me off. I thanked her, enjoyed my purchases from the candy store, and didn't think much of the day. Uh-oh. Until... I'm very worried. I'm nervous. A few days later, I was chilling at Granny's house, per usual. She'd just gotten home from work and was reading the paper while I watched TV in the

living room. Not sure why, but something made me look in her direction. And just as she was adjusting her newspaper, the front page came into perfect view. At first, it was just recognition. Then, my whole body seemed to start tangling. That's called a wom. Yep. WOM. Then something washed over me. It felt like when you opened the deep freeze and blast yourself in the summer, but with nausea. My cheeks started to feel really hot as I read the headline by the photo that I recognized. Two men arrested, mother and child killed on Parkway. Oh. I studied the photo as long as I could without being obvious. And finally I said, Granny, can I have that paper when you're finished? She appeared over the newspaper at me and said, oh, do you want the horoscopes or the comics?

That woman knew me so well. She was surprised when my response was, actually this article on the front, this photo looks familiar. So casual, like I wasn't trying to regulate my fight or flight at that moment and sounds super casual in my interest about the murder article. She looked perplexed and said, oh, I'm sure you haven't, darling. He was in the Mendel Hospital and now he's murdered a young woman and her son. She said dismissively, you're probably right, Granny, I replied, trying to hide my absolute certainty that I did in fact see Luke just days before and he was trying to figure out if I needed to call the local police or FBI and how I would ever explain this to my mother.

Oh, man. It just so happened. that very same day my uncle and Lynn had been together. I can't remember exactly why, but I want to say it was for a favor involving Lynn's pickup truck and something heavy. When I heard them pull in, I grabbed the newspaper and met them at the door. I didn't want to say anything in the event that I was really wrong, and that was not my new friend Luke, grunge guy and hairbrush rescuer.

I handed the newspaper to Lynn and she immediately recognized the photo, stared at it, and then back at me, then opened the paper and started reading the article. Then we had to explain to my uncle what the hell this meant and why we were rendered basically speechless. The article made it clear that Luke and his accomplice were in custody, so we did not need to contact the police and share our adventure. Well, that's good. I was worried. I was like, ah. The location of the crime was not near where we had traveled with him. And if the timeline was accurate, we were with him prior to this crime being committed. That's almost scary. That's really scary. I couldn't stop thinking about it all summer. Dislike. And while I wanted to tell someone, my uncle made. made it clear, my mother would freak the fuck out.

Oh my God. So we all decided to keep it to ourselves. No, you can't have a kid. Keep the secrets. Are no fun. It would have been such a good story to share on the first day of ninth grade. Yeah. Way better than my usual summer vacation stories.

Yep. But to make sure I never let it slip out, I basically buried the experience. It was actually several years later until even my uncle brought it up at all. There was a fly. A fly. A fly just flew into my face. Is Nicholas? That was wild

It was like It was like one of those fruit flies I was like get out here Anyways It wasn't actually It was actually several years later And he said look for me Are you a fly?

I literally just said it's probably Nicholas Look for me That's almost a little ominous though That's actually really ominous Nicholas But I'll look for you Yeah we will I'll go with it We look for you everywhere

We do Until my uncle See, I remember you? Yeah. We remember you, Nicholas. Nicholas, what's up? What's going on? What's going on?

Tell us more. Tell us everything. Tell us about yourself, Nicholas. So the uncle took a long time to bring it up. So for a very long time, I really did forget this experience ever happened to me. Damn. I will lose my literal mind if you ever pick my story to share, and I will have to squeal and jump up and down at my desk, which I'm sure will not please any of my coworkers or my supervisors.

Tell them to get the fuck over it. Yeah, tell them to Foff. I have linked some articles about where Luke is now in the original story I saw in the local paper. I've also attached some photos of me, my family, and my pets because I know you just love cute kids and small... I do. And animal pictures.

Keep it weird, but not so worthy you spend the day shopping with a murderer and maybe don't introduce a 14-year-old to somebody who you met at a mental hospital during group who is now just chilling in the mall looking like Kirk Cobain. It's very valid. You know that is valid. Damn. And I think those are links.

To the, oh my God, your cat. And on a six blanket. You have great taste. You do. Oh, you do. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, look at that face.

You guys know how to get us. And Buffy. And a steak. Another puppy. A puppy. Is that a puggle? Oh, that kind of looks like Buba. Is that a puggle?

That definitely is a puggle. For sure. Does that? That's, I knew it was, I knew it was Mr. Pointy. Oh, shit. That's cool. Oh, and look at your family. Oh, you know.

The second Disney photo we've received. I know, what are you guys doing to me? What are you guys doing to me? I want to go back to Disney so bad. There's Dick. There's Luke. There's you, I think. Oh, and you're at Blackcraft.

Yeah. See, what is it? It's a message. Message. Do you have a message in a bottle? Huh. That's weird. He's like, read your message, Eden.

Message in a bottle. This next headline is insane. What? Okay. The time. a Christmas elf prevented an abduction. Period. Period. Period. Hello ladies. Hi. First of all, you two are absolutely amazing and I truly love your show. Thank you. The only regret is that I just discovered your show, but at least it means I have a large backlog of shows to binge.

We have like 800 episodes. There's a lot there. Right now I'm up to early 2020 and I'm not going to lie, my heart is breaking because you two are so excited about your upcoming live shows and I know the world is about to shut down. I'm excited to to hear what happens and I really hope you were able to reschedule all of your live shows because you are a gift to the world. Thank you so much for that. We didn't reschedule even one of them. So thank you. And our management is like, you sure that you don't want to do you? They were like, wow, that sucked. Anyways, I really hope you are still doing listener tales. We are. Hey, here we are. But if not, hopefully this tale at least entertains you. It will. My name is Steve. Feel free to use my real name. What's up, Steve? And back in high school, I was a total theater geek. Me too.

I try. Can you try? You can say Steve? Nicholas is like, can I try what you guys are doing? Yeah, I think I can do it better. Maybe he wants to go for it. You know, give it to try. So you were a total theater geek. So was I. As well, every Christmas I would dye my hair half red and half green because I fucking love the holidays. I love that. One of my fellow students' hair parents hired myself to play an elf at their Christmas party and my drama teacher to play Santa since he was a jolly large man. Absolutely. I call it. They even rented me a costume and it was a ton of fun.

The party ended late and I was driving home and around midnight through the affluent part of town. There were literally no other cars on the road, which in retrospect should have triggered my spidey sense, but whatever. I was a young, dumb kid. I was stopped at a red light when I heard a blood or I heard blood curdling screams. I looked over to my left and I see a man literally dragging a woman by her hair across the street who a car parked on the other side of the street. Oh my God. As I like to say back then, I have a divine sense of justice and ass kicking. So I ran the red light.

You have no idea how much it killed me to break the law like that. Spend over to help this woman. Thankfully, my parents had given me a cell phone for emergencies. It was the late 90s. So I called 911. We're not going to leave you, doll. And I started honking my horn like mad. I pulled up behind the waiting car as he had already made it there and was shoving her into the back seat.

Oh, my God. You're a badass for doing it. this, by the way. I turned on my bright, my brights and continued honking my horn. He stared at me with pure hatred and looked like he was about to come for me. Luckily, I don't think he could see me clearly because I have never been a big person. I think I was around five, two, or three at this time. And he could have easily beaten me to a pulp. In my memory, he was a beast of a man. But in reality, he was probably pretty average. I bet he was below average. Yeah. Fate was on my side. And he instead threw her out of the car and sped off. Oh my God. I got out of my, I was a

to check on her and she seemed physically okay but was obviously shaken up. At this point, the dispatcher told me police were on their way and to sit tight. I tried my best to comfort her, but one, she just had a very traumatic experience with a male, so she probably didn't want to be around a strange male.

And two, I'm still dressed like an elf, so she was probably thinking I'm completely nuts and mentally unstable. Spoiler alert, I was and still am. Can you imagine, like, you're such a good Samaritan, but imagine as a woman going through this? And then a man dressed as an elf.

It's just like, you're okay. I'd be like, I'm not. Don't touch me. I'm not okay. No, please. But you're a very amazing person for this. Did he say I'm a turtle? Or eternal?

I'm eternal. I thought he said, I'm a turtle. That feels like a ghost lyric. I was literally just going to say that. Tobias. Yeah. I'm like, all right, Nicholas. First of all, you're amazing for doing this.

Second of all, you're amazing for being so self-aware to know that she probably was uncomfortable. And to like read the situation. Something a lot of people wouldn't be aware of. And I love the, I was and still I'm mentally unstable. This entire time, not a single car passes by, but I did see a man coming up the hill towards us pushing a shopping cart. At this point, my adrenaline is fully pumping. So I put myself between her and the guy. Oh, he's very clearly on drugs.

And he comes up to me and says, do you like crack? You are dressed like an elf Which like It's a choice So he just wanted to include Even Santa's helpers Do like crack I don't know

Maybe this guy isn't He said He said you kind of look like you're on crack He said He said I see you Also His hair is half red and half green

The cracking leaves He's the crack Can me see the crack in you? Or noor. We're going to have flagged on YouTube. I'm screaming. I love completely not expecting that, but it seemed pretty on par with the evening looking back. I simply say, no.

Just do you like crack? No. Literally crying. My makeup, my 90s makeup is going to be literally everywhere. I was just thinking that. I have straight up tears running down my face. I smoked this out too. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. I'm going to look like I just watched Romeo and Juliet, the Bazelerman version, in that I know I can't ever be with Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, the heartbreak for all of us right now. Oh, okay. So I simply said, no. He then smiles broadly and says, I shit you not. Well, I do.

He was just. striking up a conversation. He said ice breakers. Do you like crack? I love it. You have to get to know each other. He found something out about you. You found something out about him.

At this point, I see police lights in the distance speeding towards us. Also this poor woman. An elf. I think of attempted abduction and then somebody on crack. And the guy saw the lights and says, oops, got to go. And runs off. with his shopping cart into the night. I wish him the very best.

I wish him the very best. I hope he's slimmer. Oh my God. The police show up and not unexpectedly. They seemed extremely skeptical of me and I can't blame them. After questioning, not surprisingly, she knew the asshole who tried to kidnap her. Oh yeah, one other detail. Being winter in Arizona, it was a little chilly.

So as the adrenaline started wearing off and I was starting to feel cold, I told police, I was going to get my jacket out of the car. They kept their light shined on me and in my car the whole time. And I pull out my classic black emo trench coat that all the cool kids had at the time, William the Matrix. I'm quite positive the whole aesthetic of elf with multicolored hair in the black trench coat. Totally made me seem super legit incredible. Even just trying to picture that image, my head is hard to conjure.

I don't know. Yeah, even Nicholas doesn't know. For reference, I ended up becoming a physician. so even weirder kids can grow up to be professionals. Though I never fully grew up, but I'm still a weird kid at heart. You are amazing, Steve. We love you, Steve. The police escorted her away, and I was free to go.

I don't know what ended up happening to the woman, sadly, but I really hope she's safe, healthy, and thriving. I can tell you one thing. That woman thinks of you every week, at least. And I love that. Anyways, that's my tale. Sorry for the length, but I hope it was entertaining. It was.

Keep it weird, but not so weird that you end up trying to kid kidnap a girl, but you have to get stopped by some punk kid dressed as an elf and then hesitate, but decide to run away like the little bitch you are. And then a crack-fueled stranger comes up and stresses you out further when you are already full of adrenaline. And then the cops think you're super suspicious because you look like some weird emo Christmas conglomeration. Don't keep it that weird. Thanks so much for your time. I think you might need to keep it that weird, to be honest with you. I haven't cried that much. That was a good one. In a long time. That was a good one. Oh, just picturing that whole story felt like I was on drugs.

That the visuals that came along with that story were like top notch. Top notch. Top-notch. All right. One more? Oh, Steve. Yeah. Okay. Tale. And the next tale is the tale. Tale as old as time. You sounded like you were starting the Midnight Society. Tale of the grinning, whatever. Yeah.

Tale of the traveling Ouija board. There you go. Hey, Ash and Elena. Hi. Hi. First off, I just want to say you absolutely have permission. to use my name. Hell yeah. It's Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. And I'm a huge fan. I've been listening to you guys religiously since last year. I loved the podcast so much that I actually went all the way back to the very beginning. Even the episodes where it sounded like you were recording underwater. You're a real one. You are. Honestly, it's still amazing to listen to you. Thank you. Sometimes I think about the fact that my children someday will listen to early episodes of Morbid

and that I was 22 at the time we recorded them. And it does make me want to drown myself. Yeah. I mean, the evolution is nice, though. It is. of us. It's true. Yeah, I think so. It's a nice little growth. Yeah, lots of growth. Lots of growth. The pipeline from 22 to 30. And even probably 30 to 30 to 40, you go, oh, 30? Yeah. I don't know shit. I think I know a little bit more than the beginning of this, though. Oh, yeah. But then you're going to be 40 and you're going to say, I didn't know shit. Oh, man. Yeah, it's nuts. Well, a quick little side note before I get into my story, Ash, both of my kids actually had the exact same due date and it just so happens to be your birthday, two-n-day. We love a Gemini. My son ended up being eight days late.

Eight dies life. Sheila. I died like Sheila. My daughter was four days late. Gemini's, Gemini's, Gemini, Gemini's. There's seven years apart, but still both my little Gemini's. Meanwhile, I was born later in June. Did you say fun?

Father? Is your father a Gemini, Nicholas? I don't think my father is a Pisces. Yours isn't a Gemini either. No, mine is a... Technically, he's a... Pisces, but I kind of consider him in Ares. Yeah. Anyways, meanwhile, I was born later in June, so I make cancer.

If you actually end up reading this, I'll probably ship my pants. Don't worry, though. I'll have a change of underwear ready. Good change. Okay, now let's get into my story about the time my parents bought my sister and I a Ouija board for Christmas. Those are cool parents. I was 11 years old, and I was, and my sister was nine. The Christmas, my mom and dad bought it for us. Looking back now, I honestly don't know what possessed them to buy it. Maybe they just thought it was a harmless board game. It was cool then. Yeah. Maybe they didn't really believe in that kind of stuff.

Or maybe they figured we would play with it once and forget about it like we did with half of our other toys. That's probably what they thought, actually. But we didn't forget. No. I still remember tearing the wrapping paper off the box. The board inside looked mysterious, a black background, faded letters, numbers, yes, no. And a word at the bottom that would eventually haunt me. Goodbye.

Goodbye. The planchette was light plastic, heart shaped with a small window in the center. It didn't look scary. That was the problem. That night, after the... house was quiet and our parents were watching TV downstairs. My sister and I dragged it into our bedroom. We shared a room back then.

Two twin beds pushed against opposite walls, a narrow window between them, and a closet door that never shut properly. I feel that's called foreshadowing. It always sat slightly open just enough to make you stare at it a little too long at night. We turned off the main light and left

only the small bedside lamp on. The glow made the room feel secret and important. We sat cross-legged on the floor, fingertips barely touching the planchette. Guest? I knew he's like, this sounds scary. He's like, I'm terrified. I'm terrified.

I'm terrified. Is anyone here? My sister whispered? Nothing. We looked at each other and tried not to laugh. You're pushing it, I said. I've not. She shot back.

Oh, that's the classic conversation you have. No. We get a Ouija board. It was moving, slowly, smoothly, not like a jerk from somebody nudging it. It glided. We both gassed and instinctively tried to pull our hands away, but we didn't. Instead, we leaned in closer. Yeah.

That was the first mistake. For weeks after that, the board became our nightly ritual. You two are awesome. I also feel like you're probably not closing the door, which is like not good. You're not saying goodbye. You know, like the portal. Yeah. We would rush through homework at end dinner just to get back to our room and ask more questions.

At first, it was harmless stuff. What grade would we get in math? Would we get a dog? Would we ever meet a celebrity? But then we started asking bigger questions. Is there someone here with us? Are you dead? What's your name?

Sometimes it was random letters, sometimes it moved in circles, sometimes it stopped abruptly on goodbye before we were finished. Hmm. We told ourselves it was our imaginations. Until the house changed, it started subtly. Footsteps in the hallway when everyone was downstairs. The sound of pacing back and forth outside of our bedroom door after midnight. Huh. My dad would check and find nothing.

He'd shrug it off as the furnace or the pipes, but furnaces don't walk. That is something really against his argument. Yeah. I would say. Furnaces are famous for not walking. They famously don't walk. Then came the shadows. Oh.

You'd catch something move out the corner of your eye, a shape slipping past the doorway, a flicker crossing the wall. But then you turn your head and nothing was there. That happens to us in this house all the time. Especially in the kitchen. That has started happening to me in my house and the shadow is in the kitchen. Yeah. Uh-uh. So that's fun.

Yeah. Last night I kept seeing something out of the corner of my eye in that like back room. Like walking into that back room. That's what we always get. We'll be sitting watching TV and both of us will like turn to look over. Hide. Hide. Yeah. Honestly. Bite.

Bite. Okay. I hate that more. That's somehow worse. But both of us look over and we always think it's one of the girls coming down. And we'll always look at each other and be like, did you see something? And he's like, yep. I hate that.

And it's always something coming from the hallway into the kitchen and just like walking through. And we always think it's one of the girls. I've seen that in your house before at night. And it's so clear in my periphery. Yeah. I like how you say that periphery. Periphery. I like that.

Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. I feel like nobody ever says that. They always just say my peripheral. Yeah. You're fancy. Thank you.

And the feeling. The constant crawling feeling that you were not alone, even when you were. One afternoon, I was in my room by myself playing with my toys. The house was completely quiet. My sister was outside. My parents were at work. Side note, the 90s were wild, just leaving your kids home alone. They sure were.

Ha, ha. Out of nowhere. my alarm clock started blasting music. I hate that. Not softly. Full volume. I jumped so hard, I knocked over the toy in my hand. The strange part, my alarm clock wasn't plugged into the wall. No. That's not good. I have chilies, like gross chilies. I stared at it from across the room, my heart hammering. The cord was wrapped neatly behind it, not even close to an outlet. I tried to think logically. All right, maybe it has batteries. I walked over slowly. slowly, each step feeling heavier than the last.

Picked it up, flipped it over, no batteries. No batteries. No, God. I was just going to say it. No batteries. There wasn't even a compartment for them. The music stopped on its own a few seconds later. The silence afterward was worse than the noise.

I stood there frozen, goosebumps covering every inch of my arms, feeling like something invisible had just looked me straight in the face and smiled. I didn't tell my parents. I didn't even tell my sister right away. saying it out loud would make it real. But then there was the doll. Oh. Totally.

He's like, I'm scared now. He said sit down for this. My sister had this doll she loved, the kind with plastic eyelids that open one upright and closed when you lay them down. I fucking hate those things. She carried it everywhere, or so I assumed, because it kept showing up in different spots around the house, sitting upright on the couch,

propped against the hallway wall, once sitting at the kitchen table as if it was placed there to watch. Hate it. Every time I mentioned it, my sister would say she must have just forgotten she left it there. And I believed her until one night. He said, he said, I told him. He told him. He's like, I told him. He told him. He told Adam. Yeah, he told Adam that. What did you tell Adam? What did you tell Adam? Let us know. Right in. I don't know what woke me up. Maybe it was a noise. Maybe it was the heavy feeling in the room again. But my eyes opened suddenly. I looked across the dark room toward my sister's bed. The only light came from the moon through the window. And I shit you not. Her doll was lying on its side beside her pillow, but its eyes were wide open.

Not halfway, not flickering, wide open, staring directly at me. I hate that so much. You know what that moment is? Shit, shit, shit, your pants. Shit, shit, your pants. Here we go. Shit, your pants. Shit, shit, shit, your pants.

Get out. Leave. My chest. Let me leap. Get out. Leave. My chest tightened so fast. I thought I would scream, but no sound came out.

That's the worst. I would die. I just lay there, staring back at it. Those dolls close their eyes when they're horizontal. That's how they're made. But this one was not closed. It felt intentional like it knew I was awake. I pulled my blanket over my head and did not move until the next morning.

The next day, when the sun made everything seem stupid and harmless again, I picked up the doll and lay it on its side. Its eyes slid shut immediately. She's not here. She's not here. No. Oh my God, she's not here because the eyes actually shut this time. Yeah, she's gone. I felt sick because I knew what I had seen. The atmosphere in our house grew even heavier after that. Even my parents started mentioning strange things. My mom said she heard someone call her name when no one was home. My dad said tools in the garage would be moved from where he left them. Nobody connected it out loud. But my sister and I knew. This is so ominous. It really is. Eventually, my parents decided we were moving to Alberta. Canada. A fresh start, a new job opportunity, a new house. We were leaving Manitoba behind. As we cleaned out the house before the move, we found the Ouija board tossed behind our toy bin. Neither of us had touched it in weeks. It felt wrong to even look at it. Without saying much, my mom decided to throw it in the trash, not packed, not donated, thrown away. Eek.

I don't think that's how you're supposed to do that. Probably not. We drove all the way back to Alberta. Boxes to Alberta. I just said. We drove all the way. back to Alberta. Boxes. I was like looking at boxes and stacked, so it just became Alberta's. Boxes stacked in the U-Haul saying goodbye to everything familiar. The new house felt lighter at first.

I don't like that you said at first. It was empty, clean, but within days the same feeling crept back in. Shadow, soft footsteps, that presence. Damn. That reminds me of the paranormal activity, like the one that's playing now, it's like, places aren't haunted. People are. I hate that.

That play is so good. It's so good. It's still fucking me up. We blamed it on stress, on adjusting, on imagination. Finally, after days of unpacking, there was only one box left. My dad sliced it open. And believe it or not, sitting right on the very top was the Ouija board. But you threw it away. Like it had been carefully placed there.

The same scratches on the corner of the box, the same bent edge, the one my mom threw in the trash in Manitoba. No one spoke. My mom went pale. My sister immediately looked at me. My dad just stared at all of us in disbelief, wondering who packed it when my mom clearly told him she threw it away. But we hadn't packed it. Nobody did.

We saw my mom throw it in the garbage. But somehow it had traveled over a thousand kilometers with us from Manitoba to Alberta. To Alberta. To Alberta. All the way. All the way to Alberta. Like it had chosen to follow.

That was the moment I felt true fear. Not the kind where you jump and laugh afterward, not the kind you can explain away, the kind that settles into your bones. We never touched it again. I don't like it. We did end up moving again to a nice beautiful home. We cleansed the fuck out of it. And nothing quote unquote crazy happened in that home. I don't know who got rid of it or how.

I don't know where it ended up, but I know this. When I say I will never use a Ouija board again, I mean it. Because some things aren't games, except maybe naked twister in the shower. Honey. Honey, you're getting crazy. at these streets. He was literally doing this. He went,

Eden said, what? But I'm sorry, what? He said, that's silly girl. Damn. What did he say? That didn't happen. When did it happen? He said pictures or didn't happen?

When did you play naked twister in the shower? Also, would you play clothes? Twister in the shower? He said, I need a timeline. Oh, shit. naked twister in the shower could probably kill you. Yeah. Don't do.

Well, that's my story. I really do hope you both enjoyed it. Sorry if it was a little wishy-washy. Change whatever you need to. And thanks again for potentially taking the time to read it. Holy shit. I am so terrified by that. I literally can't handle it.

I'm shook if. I hate that a lot. I hate that a whole lot. My oh my, you people are fucked. Keep them coming. I love these. You know where to send them. We're a podcast at gmail.com.

Deb, Deb, we'll find it if you're lucky. It's true. Well, we hope you keep. listening and we hope you keep it weird but not as weird as any of the stories here or you know maybe do keep it that weird because if you keep it that weird then we might read it on the podcast yeah don't we did Barbie Lamborghini though Barbie Lamborghini for sure and elf and elf yeah definitely do that don't you crack don't do that bye