Morbid - Listener Tales 12

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

Because Covid19 is such a bitch, we think you could use a dose of your own sometimes hilarious and always delightfully spooky listener tales! Come on in this episode for demons on the ceiling, a toddler who remembers his life on the Titanic, a creepy Santa at the buffet, a beautiful tale of friendship that tragically ends in murder, a legitimate bridge troll and some spooky ass imaginary friends. Check out our sponsor! Embr Wave To receive $50 off of your order head to embrwave.com/morbid, again that's embrwave.com/morbid to receive $50 off your order. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's W-O-N-D-E-R-Y-P-O-D. Audible.com slash wondery pod or text wondery pod to 500-500 to try audible for free for 30 days. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your home projects done well. Whether it's routine maintenance and emergency repair or a dream project, Angie lets you browse home on her reviews, compare quotes from multiple local pros, and even book a service instantly. So the next time you have a home project, just Angie that and start getting the most out

of your home. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's ANGI.com. Hey weirdos, I'm Ash, and I'm Alina. And this is another episode of quarantine morbid. I can't even begin to express how sad that makes me. It really is. It's a sad, sad state of affairs. I'm not kidding you. I sent Alina a picture of me crying last night.

She legitimately did. Because one of my nieces flipped the fuck out when I was ready to go. Yeah, she was not happy. They've been asking for TT all day. They were like, I want to go with TT, please go leave. But I was like, oh my god. I was like, we love you too, you know guys. It's fun.

They were like, you come with us too. We can all go to Annie's. We can all go to Annie's. I know this is so weird so now we're officially quarantined separately so we're recording separately we're doing our due diligence. Yes and we're not because normally Ash could just go back and forth between Annie's house and my house. But we're being smart COVID people. Yes. And she did have her quarantine with us.

And now she's left until the end of this thing. I know. I was going to say half my quarantine with you and then half here. But I'm like, is that going to be half here? Or is it going to be? Let's hope. Well, let's hope this thing just wraps up.

Yeah. It's like, let's wrap it up really quick. Let's wrap it up everybody. I'm kind of sick of this shit. All right, well speaking of wrapping things up, I think we should probably we do have a couple of announcements. Yes. So let's go through our shows a couple of things have changed.

Yes, because of COVID. It is because of COVID. So I'm going to start with Philly. Philly is going to be at the Punchline Comedy Club and that's going to be August 11th. August 11th, the Liberty Bell. The Liberty Bell. Well, September 16th, Washington, DC at the DC Improv.

September, monuments, all up in the business. September 23rd is gonna be Nashville and that's gonna be at Zany's, that's gonna be two shows and early show and a late show. See Nashville? What coming for you? Just a little later. Yeah, it's all in the spooky season guys. This is kind of kismet. I do love that.

Yeah. Silver lining. Wait, I said September 23rd, right? Sure did. Okay, good. Yeah. That was correct. Okay.

You said spooky season and I was like, fuck did I say October? Well, like September is like spooky season to me. You know, I like to refer to it as pre-October. Exactly. So, okay. So then Huntsville, Alabama is going to be September 24th at Stand Up Life. Alabama Roll Tide. War Eagle.

So then we're going to back it up to June. And hopefully these two are still gonna happen Let's be real they're probably gonna get rescheduled but as of now they have not so for the sake of a good time We'll see you on June 2nd at the Good Night's comedy club in Raleigh, North Carolina Raleigh, we're probably not gonna see a June but hey Here's to hold nose here's to open that COVID's just long gone yeah and then June 3rd the next day at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte and North Carolina Charlotte hope to see you too but probably gonna

get pushed out too yes well here is one that did get pushed out now the Chicago shows have both been rescheduled to October 11th. Yes, October 11th. So as see you. You had tickets to the Chicago show? I believe those are being honored, yes. Yes. Okay, so if you have tickets, now you still have those tickets, the date is just different.

October 11th now for both shows. Awesome. And I think you can go online and see like the times and everything. Yeah. Cool. And that's going to be cool because that's a really spooky venue. And now we are smack, dabbity dab right in the middle of spooky season for that. Yes. And I'm excited about that. So again, silver linings everywhere.

And more time to get fancy pants. Yeah, guys, we're taking this time to make shit real real. We have a lot of plans. We have lots of plans. So this is all going to be fine. We're all doing fine. Everybody, you know what? I see you. You're washing your hands. I see it. Yeah. I'm not sure I can. So hard that they're like actually bleeding. So that's good. We're all wearing face masks and gloves and washing our hands and social distancing.

We'll just not do those things. Maybe just start, please. Yeah. Start now because we'd love to be done with this bullshit. So okay., well two more shows to announce. Hopefully this one's gonna happen. I think we're gonna be there. July 8th, the comedy works south in Greenwood Village, Colorado. I feel like we'll be there, Colorado. I really do. Yeah, I think so for sure.

Either way, we'll see you. Yeah, I mean, we'll see you when we see you. We'll see you when we see you. And then stay tuned on like our social media and on our website. I'll update everything so you'll We'll see you when we see you. And then stay tuned on our social media and on our website, I'll update everything. So you'll be in the rest of all the issues. Hot with the updates, the hot goss. And then last show, which I really hope happens

because it's near and dear to our heart. And that is July, I close the thing. July 11th at the Wilba. The Wilba. I really want to see you. We want Emily Walsh to keep you laughing. We do. We just want to do it.

It's going to happen. Everybody just put it into the universe. That by July, we're going to be so far out of this COVID bullshit. They're all just going to be dancing around. Yeah, exactly. I was trying to think of something. I was too, but I couldn't think of it.

I'll still be able to bump in everybody for years to come. Exactly. Somebody's going to sneeze and I'm going to be of something maybe. I was too, but I couldn't pick them up. I'll still be elbow bumping everybody for years to come. Exactly. Somebody's gonna sneeze and I'm gonna be like, no. No, I know. I was already like a germaphobe before this. So I feel just like right in my comfort zone with all this. I'm like, yeah, everybody wash your hands

45 times a day. I was like me. I mean, I washed my hands like a civilized human being, but I would definitely wasn't a germaphobe. And now I think I've changed for good. I think a lot of people are going to be changed at this whole thing. I'm changed. But I'm changed. Speaking of change, we had to push our very special episode out of week. I know we mentioned it last week, just like some stuff came up and it wasn't going to work out really well, so that's going gonna be happening next week now,

but we get a very exciting week next week. Lots of fun people. Yeah, we are like chock full of life next week. Starting on Monday, we're gonna be doing one cool thing and you're gonna get that pretty early in the week. Yeah. And then another really cool thing is happening in the middle of the week.

Yeah. And then back to just your regular level of cool with just actionally. Which is still pretty fucking cool. If I do say so myself, if I do say so myself. We're real. But tonight's episode is a listener tails episode. And we love to see it.

We do. I feel like listener tails are like just, they're light-hearted. They're warm and fuzzy, even when they're about murder or like straight up diamonds. They're warm and fuzzy, and they just make us all feel good during times that are so uncertain. Exactly. You know what I mean?

So should we start? Let's start this shit. Okay. So this first one is gonna be a long one, but the person that sent in this listener tail puts so much effort in, they first of all made a PDF that they shared with us. And then made it look like a storybook with like curls, empty font and like pictures on the side bars.

And that kind of shit is like, that doesn't go on. So about it beyond an amazing, it doesn't. It does not go unnoticed. I was like, we looked at that and I was like I this is amazing whatever this is amazing. Yeah, okay So I'm gonna start off this one's called listener tail the murder of my friend Tracy Lynn Ballard or Ballard Sorry, I'm a huge fan. It says hey ladies I'm a huge fan and would be honored to hear this on a listener tail episode You can use my name and edit if you want to. This tale is a big ol' bitch. I attached my tale to a big ol' video file. Technology

is a beast. Let me know if you have any trouble or opening or viewing. Thank you guys. I'll leave the rest to the tale. So first of all, check this out. Like, look over the Zoom meeting we're having. I know it's crazy. It's beautiful. I can't really see it when you turned it. Oh, good. Okay. So it says, Hey, Weirdo's, please do use my name. Because if my story makes the cut, I'm going to show this episode to everyone I ever fucking met, and I don't want to have to try to convince everybody that I'm the anonymous person who wrote in such a boisterous tale.

Yes. So hello. I'm Ali Reese. I'm a 37-year-old gay dude who grew up in a real shit kicking backwards Texas town. I came out of the closet to God and everybody when I was 13 and in the eighth grade. Coming out. I know, seriously. Good for you. Hell yeah. Coming out has the side effect of making you hyper-aware of your place in this world

and how you fit into it. Or sometimes it shows you exactly how you don't. I went from having a community of general acceptance to living in a world of ignorant fucks who suddenly hated me because their skyfriend Jebus told them I was naughty. I love the way you describe that. I love it so much. I told them I was naughty. I'm naughty. You've actually done a mini morbid episode about a case in my hometown before in a previous episode and described it accurate as fuck when you covered it I live in Bastrop, Texas the year I came out of the closet was the same year that Stacey's tights body was found dumped in the woods. Oh shit Yeah, wild. Yeah, I'm just gonna skip over a little bit here

Seriously, thank y'all for doing that episode. Not only is that episode how I was introduced to your amazing podcast, but all the media attention leading up to the November 2019 execution date made a fucking difference. It brought all eyes on Texas in that moment and they knew they couldn't kill an innocent man with the whole world looking at them. They're still trying to, so everyone please watch what happens in the courts. He has an indefinite stay of execution, but they're already trying to fuck him over regarding what judge will hear new evidence and decide if he should get a new trial or not. I protest in protest. I protest. Why can't I say that? I don't protest. I protest in Bastar Pinostom with Roddy's family. Oh, that's badass. I love that. Okay, so this says, um, let me tell you you've never met a stronger woman in your life than Sandra Reed.

She has fought, never giving up, and then fought more for her son's release, and she's going to keep on fighting. Ugh, I love that so much. It touches my soul. Stacey's body was found just three miles away from my house I grew up in, and only one mile from the small family owned stake house at which I would eventually start working at two years after Stacey's murder. The place was called Mimi G's, which I fucking love.

Mimi G's. Mimi G's. It was my first real job, and this is where my story really begins. Yolanda owns the place, and she and her girls ran it well. It was no secret. They had the best chicken fried, yeah, chicken fried steak and fast-drop.

The fried shrimp was the other staple dish. If you scroll down to the bottom of the menu, there was a, quote, I dare you to eat section for being a reputable establishment. I was always really shook we had frog legs on the menu. I thought they were a fucking joke, y'all. But whenever we make, whenever we make the girls dinner and they get to decide what they want, I'm like you guys want frog legs.

And I know that they think you're joking and I'm like no that's a thing people eat. I think it's like a delicacy in some places. Yeah, I would eat them. People would tell me they taste just like chicken. Um, fuck a bunch of that. When I got a real case of the rumblies for chicken, I'll eat a fucking chicken. You literally had to scroll past the chicken section to land on the swamp monster section, but I'd digress. The swamp monster section. Yolanda took pride in her restaurant and was there every night, sitting at the cash register

with a Virginia slim 100 perst on her lips that was always one millisecond away from dropping half a cigarette's worth of ash onto the counter. She was in her late 50s and she followed the Texas mandatory guideline for women's hairdos back then. The higher the hair, the closer to God. Her two daughters were Wendy and Tracy and they were the two waitresses. Yolanda, sorry, Yolanda hired me to bus tables to make and to make salad bar situation happen. I was 15 and knew everyone on staff from going there all the time as a kid, but this is when I got to really know them, especially Tracy. Tracy was in her early 30s but was a young 30-something.

She cussed like a sailor and wasn't afraid to kick back a few beers during her shifts at the state house. She was tiny standing at 5'1 and weighing 115 pounds, but was a force to be reckoned with. That reminds me of you. I love that. She was stunning, I'm saying. How do wild-sighting. That's not you. How do wild-sight I idolized back then.

She loved attention, especially from the men's folk. But at the same time, you could tell she really, and I mean, really did not give a fuck what people thought of her. She lived a zero fucks to give lifestyle. And with my life being so clouded with the inherent shame of being different, I hoped that one day too, I could run out of fucks to give about what people thought of me. Oh, I hope you have run out of all the fucks. And guess what? In parenthesis, it says, fear not weirdo, fear not weirdos. I totally ran out of fucks to give by 17

That's when I became half gay rights activist and half one man gay pride parade Oh Like obsessed with Ali Rees. Yes. Excuse me Reese. I am a guest At 13 I was either really fucking brave or really stupid for coming out But either way the news of me being gay had spread like wildfire, and I was getting beat up at school. I couldn't walk down the hall classes without being, without some ignorant goat loving person calling me, I'm just say the F word and yeah,

because I hate that word. I can't say that. Yeah. Teachers nor administrators ever, never intervened, even when that shit would happen right in front of them. One time I went to my VP of my middle school trying to get her to do something to make it stop, and her response was basically to ask me what I expected when I decided to live

this life. Oh my God. I know. At some point, when everyone in your world thinks you're lesser than you start believing the world around you, because it's all you know, needless to say, I was extremely depressed and I seriously considered suicide. I'm so glad you didn't. I hate that that's reality. I do too. So it says when I started busing tables I'd go straight from school to Mimi G's and on one excuse me on more than a few occasions Tracy would

find me crying while prepping the salad bar. Oh my god. Oh, my heart. Ah. She would always tell me fuck what people think. She encouraged me not to see myself through a lens blurred by others' people, skewed perceptions, and ignorance, but to picture who I wanted to be and fucking become it. She would drop little nuggets of truth on me, such as if I stopped agreeing with and believing

with what they were saying about me, then it would take the power out of their slurs. She would say, the hard part to do that is you have to believe you're okay. And if that ain't there yet, fake it till you make it, boy. She often accompanied me. That's really good advice. I know.

She often accompanied these little lifesaving pep talks with a real solid hug. She was the first person to tell me it was okay to be proud of who I was, especially in the face of adversity. She had an adorable little daughter named, hey, I think it's Hailey, it's H-A-L-E-Y. Yeah, Hailey.

That Hally or Hailey? Hailey. Okay. That would sit up at the counter with Yolanda, her grandmother, and drink so does Wintersaw, he couldn't find a sitter. Hailey was well-mannered and well-spoken for being five years old.

She had ring-lit curls, and you could tell she was gonna grow up as pretty as her mama. Oh. And I know, in the late 90s, Pepsi had a little girl that was their spokesperson and Haley looked identical to her. Oh my god, I remember that little girl. Yeah, and Ali, um, attached a little picture and that girl's so cute. Yeah. So it says, after working there for the better part of the year, I heard that

HB was having a job fair and they were paying $7.50 an hour minimum wage. Sorry, they were paying $7.50 an hour. Minimum wage back then was $5.75 an hour, so I figured if I was making $7.50 an hour, I'd obviously be big-ballin' and could finally pimp my ride. Hell yeah. To tour 1990 Chevy Cavalier. Yes. I think John drove one of those cars. That was one of his first cars, I think. Oh my god, really? Yeah, that's awesome. Calling a pond some of my new phone confidence, I interviewed like a champ and HEP hired me on the spot.

I was sad to leave Mimi G's, but money talked, so I respectfully pieced out of that bit. I lost time with Tracy over the years that passed. I saw her when her family would get food there from time to time, and I always got one of those hearty hugs when I did see her. The next time we got to hang out was on a face-melting ball's hot day in the summer of 2006. In Texas, when it gets to be over 100 degrees in the fucking shade, we strategically place ourselves near bodies of water to alleviate dying of a heat stroke or at least slowing the inevitable swamp ass you accumulate.

I decided to go to the North Shore of Lake Bastrop for in swim. It was dead that day. I was the only person at the park until I saw a car pull into the parking lot. I was soaking up the sun and playing some sweet jams on my guitar in between dipping in the water and didn't really pay much attention to the lady that had gotten out of her car in Puldin. She was a few hundred feet down the shoreline sunbathing. When I was headed back to the car, the path to the parking lot led me closer to the sunbathing lady.

As I got closer, our eyes met and traced the yield, what the fuck was you down there the whole time? I was really happy to randomly run into her. She handed me a Miller light out of her cooler. After I finished several, she was like, I was really happy to randomly run into her. She handed me a Miller light out of her cooler. After I finished several, she was like, shit, are you old enough to be drinking? Your mom was gonna be pissed at me. Oh my God, I love Tracy.

I was 23, so it was all on the up and up. We said the afternoon, catching up and shooting the shoot. I played her my songs I had written at the time and we killed her 24 pack of her beer. It started getting into the early evening and she didn't have plans and wanted to keep hanging out. I invited her to come with me to a drag show I was going to in Austin. Yes. Oh, fuck yes. She told me she had never been in a gay bar and had only seen drag queens paraded around and exploited on daytime talk shows. She asked if it was allowed to go into the gay bar if she was straight and it was adorable. We went to our respective homes to get all dolled up. Tracy picked me up around 830 or 9 and we went for an adventure at the gay bars in Austin. Once we got there... Nothing is more fun than getting ready to go to a drag show of any kind.

I've actually never been to...no that's not true. I saw Trixi recently, but that's the only drag show that I've ever been to. I've been to, because I went to a drag show from my bachelor app, right? Yeah, you did. And then I also went to, me and my friend, Allie, what's up, Allie? Another Allie. Went to a drag beauty pageant where it was called like Miss all seasons. That's what they're presenting for and it was Amazing. I love that and again, I say nothing is more fun than getting ready for a direct Because anything goes you can wear whatever it does you can just you can express yourself damn it

Okay, do it once we got there I introduced Tracy to some of my friends and we down some drinks soon We were shaking our asses to the club tunes of 20 2003 in quotes, but in parentheses probably fucking sandstorm. Oh Probably definitely So let's get me stuck in my head for the rest of the night. That's the first thing that popped in my head when he said club tunes I was like, I love it. up to my head when he said club tunes. I gave her a dollar to tip the performer.

She sheepishly held out a dollar at the edge of the dance floor until Miss Goldie Haynes high kicked her way over to the dollar. Yes, she took it from Tracy, gave her a big old kiss on the cheek and tuck the dollar up under her chicken cutlet titty and went on with her number. This is literally the greatest story I've ever really is. We had to read it. We is literally the greatest story I've ever really is. We had to read it. We had to.

All the hugs and encouraging words she had given me when I was down had all led to that moment that I was dancing with her in her very first gay bar. Tracy had a blast that night and so did I. I was thrilled to get to the show, or excuse me, I was thrilled to get to show her the happy and confident person I had grown up to be and no small part because of her.

Driven to be, sorry, driven be pure coincidence or some sort of fate. I'm so happy our paths cross that day at the lake because this was the last time I would ever see Tracy alive. Well, I just got chills. I've already read this and I got chills. So, uh, for no other reason than life happening, I didn't run into Tracy over the next several years. In the summer of 2009, I was unpacking my car

from a five day trip to the Texas coast when my mom ran to the front door and yelled, get in here, quick. I ran inside where my mom was standing. Oh, no. I know, I'm gonna cry. I ran inside where my mom was standing in front of the TV with the remote turning the volume up.

It was the local news. There was a picture of Tracy in the text above it, red, McDade, woman's body found. It cut to the news anchor and she went on to say something along the lines of Bastrap, County Sheriff's Step Udies have recovered the remains of Tracy Lynn Bellard from a burn pile. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's so much worse. Authorities have taken two suspects into custody. My stomach sank all the way to the floor. In the coming days, more came out about the murder and it was devastating.

Tracy's daughter, Haley, had been dating an older guy. She was 14 and he was about 18 or 19. Tracy, apparently, as she should have been, was outspokenly against the relationship. She had caught him in Haley's room in the middle of the night and called the police. Another time Haley was at her aunt Wendy's house and he showed up there and she called the cops on him. He was facing several charges including harboring a runaway

and decency with a child and criminal trespass in regards to seeing the minor girl, but none of these seemed to stop him. Tracy was last seen on the night of August 11th when she brought Yolanda the closing cash deposit for Mimi G's. It was very unlike Tracy to miss the shift at the restaurant and extremely out of character for her to not tell anyone and her family she wasn't going to make it in to cover her shift. Wendy Tracy sister reported her missing when she didn't pick up numerous calls and she was a no-show Friday August 14th. A family friend went to check her house and said he saw Tracy's car pass him, but someone

else was driving and Tracy's daughter was in the passenger seat. Oh my god, this hurts my whole heart. Investigators suspected foul play. Things intensified when they found Tracy's car on the boyfriends property. Upon a full search of the five-acre property owned by Joseph Wayne Douglas, the 18-year-old boyfriend, grandparents' house, investigators found a burn pile that contained charred human remains.

The remains were later positively identified to be 42-year-old Tracy Lynn Bellerd. They immediately took Haley and Joseph in to custody for questioning and both were charged with first-degree murder. And arrest Aphoday Fid. What the fuck, Haley? And your own fucking mom, like what the fuck?

What the fuck? And I'm sure how bad your mom is, and your mom sounded like she was fucking great. Yeah, and no dude. No human is worse than that. No, nothing is worse than that. And arrest Aphoday Fid for Joseph said that Tracy had found him in her home with her daughter again,

and she went to call the authorities. Joseph and Haley assaulted Tracy and eventually tied her to a chair. Oh my god, that's her mother. Joseph then called his 13-year-old brother and had him bring in a 22-calibre rifle to Tracy's home. The drive took around 30 to 40 minutes. I can't even begin to fathom what was going on in Tracy's mind as she sat bound and beaten knowing a gun was on its way. This breaks my fucking heart. Oh my god. When the 13-year-old derived with the 22-calibre rifle in front of his brother and Haley, Joseph held the rifle up to Tracy's head and pulled the trigger.

In a single moment, he took away a bright and loving friend daughter and sister. Joseph and Haley put Tracy's dead body in the truck, excuse me, in the trunk of her own car. They proceeded to drive around town for two days with her in the trunk, as if nothing had happened. That is so beyond the cold. You're like a cold straight-up sociopath

if you can drive around with your dead mom and your back. Fucking your demon. You're a straight-up demon. They threw her, then they threw her onto a burn pile on Joseph Graham Parenthe land. if you can drive around with your dad mom and your back. Fucking your demon. Oh, you're a straight up demon. They threw her, then they threw her onto a burn pile on Joseph Graham parents land. Haley Ballard was tried as an adult for her part in the murder, good of her mother.

Good, yeah. She's a flood guilty and was sentenced to 12 years in prison. Are you fucking serious? I think she should have received life, but our system is fucked. Yeah, I agree with that. Joseph Wayne Douglas pled guilty for the murder and was sentenced to 35 years. Jesus, ridiculous.

What the fuck? They killed a human being. And then drove around for two days and then burned the human being. That's fucked. And it seems like that's like malice of forethought. It's like you called somebody to bring, that took 40 minutes to bring a gun. You could have stopped that at any time. Exactly.

Both of you. You probably sat there. So 35-year prison sentence for Joseph. I'm not a huge supporter of the death penalty, especially because of cases like Rodney Reed. But in a cut and dry case without a doubt, someone has taken the sweet life of an innocent mother who is trying to protect her daughter.

I say we should warm up Old Sparky. I agree. Thisy. I agree. This is why I agree. I've said it a million times that I sit in the gray area. 100%. And honestly, Ali just described it. Exactly. So yeah, this was my story about a dear murdered friend

who helped me come into loving who I am. She was truly amazing and I will never forget her. Thanks for listening to my story and sharing it with the morbid world of awesome weirdos. I just adore you, Gell, so fucking much. And I'm generally right there with you in regards to not trusting anyone, because they're probably murder.

But I'm not wanting to know, I'm not one, oh, but I'm not one, and know we'd be fast and fabulous friends. Y'all need to do a lot, show an Austin sometime, and we should go catch an awesome drag show together while y'all are in town So much love to y'all Ali Reese. Oh Bye, I'm not a mead Ali Reese, that was amazing and I I really want to do a show in Austin. Okay, Austin is well there a whole mod

It's really often weird. Yeah, I think it's like high. Okay, we will Yeah, and also just to like plug alley because why not? I was like yeah, yeah, his what the website is alley Reese calm and it's LLI R E C E Dot com I love that I tried to open it just now, but I feel like my eye I also sing our songwriter. I was just looking at the way she's fucking adorable. And he has an awesome website and he's beautiful and just go support him.

Really? Lovely, we stay. And I'm so sorry that you lost your photo. I know, I can't even imagine. That's awful. That just makes me feel good. But I'm happy that Tracy was able to do what she did for Ali. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, moving on to our next tale. This one is spooky. Our next tale is called Golden Corral Santa. I was sitting next to Alina when I decided that we should read this one and I was like, dude, you're going to die laughing. I'm really excited. So it says, hi, friends. Before I start, I just want to say that I 100% believe I would fit in your little morbid family as the quote unquote middle sister, because one, I somehow have the same personality as both of you, and two, age wise, it works, because I'm younger than Elena, but a few years

older than Ash. Let me know, fam, I'm available. We're always in need of a new sister. You're in, come on in. I love the listener tales episodes and always thought, oh boy, I'm glad I don't have a weird ass story like that. And then yesterday I thought, oh boy, I'm glad I don't have a weird ass story like that. And then yesterday I thought, oh fuck, yes I do. I changed my friend's name but feel free to use mine.

Well thank you Sam. Thanks Sam. So the scene, summer 2013, I had just spent a week at the beach with my best friend Mary and we are now driving home. We're the type of people to drive as long as humanly possible before having to stop, a bitch has places to be.

That's exactly how I am on road trips. Yep, me too. So after six straight hours of driving, we finally decide to get food and gas at the next exit. The next exit comes up and it has exactly one gas station, one dollar general and one golden corral. So deliver in space, basically. Yeah, awesome.

Denny, na-na-na-na-na-na. Afteron air, nae, nae, nae, nae. After getting gas, we decided to put our bodies through hell and eat at golden corral. If you're not familiar with what that is, it's a cheap buffet. 20-year-old Sam loved that shit. 27-year-old Sam does not love that shit. And generally does not trust buffet. A girl at the age of 10 used to love a good buffet. But you always love a good buffet when you're younger

and then you want to. Then you realize that your buffet is probably filled with coronavirus. 100%. It's COVID-19, just all up in there. Well, we're parking. We notice a man outside the restaurant who looks like Santa. He's got Longish White Hair, a big round belly,

and he was wearing a red shirt with green suspenders. He appeared to be on the phone, but as we started to walk in, he made eye contact with us. So he smiled like polite fucking ladies and go inside. Santa is at Golden Corral and Bunfuck nowhere in the middle of the summer. How fun! Now let's go punish our bodies. I love it. I love every one of you for writing. You guys write in the best way. Oh, I love it. You pay for your plate first and then you're free to eat like shit. So we're in line waiting to pay and talking about our great trip. All is normal until suddenly I feel hot breath on the back of my neck.

Ooh, hate that. I hate that so much. I turn around because like what the fuck? And it's Santa. He's not looking at me, but above me at the sign with the prices. But he's standing so close that the front of his shoes were touching the back of mind. Praise Jesus, it was our turn to pay, so we quickly move away from him, pay for our plate and head straight for the feast. After loading up our plates with pizzas, mashed potatoes, and lasagna, because buffet.

We both, we find a booth. This booth is kind of tucked away, but we still see a good chunk of the restaurant. We see Santa wandering around with an empty plate, but he doesn't seem to see us. Eventually, he goes to the other side of the restaurant out of sight. I finish my plate and, like a true fat ass, I decide to get another. Mary is not done, so she stays at the booth. I'm loading my plate up with tortellini and grapes because I'm watching my weight. I love that. When I feel it, hot breath on the back of my neck.

This is stressing me out. I'm just getting away from my neck. I don't have, yeah, I don't love it. I don't have to turn around to know who it is. He says nothing, but out of the corner of my eye, I see him getting every single thing I get because he's watching his weight. I see.

So I panic and start adding all kinds of shit. Meet Lofa salad and even some chocolate pudding. He puts all that stuff on his plate too. I really want to get some dinner rolls, but they were at the very end of the buffet. And at that point, I just wanted to get the fuck away. So I add a few pieces of cheese to my plate, wait until he starts adding it to his plate,

and then I jump out of line and make a beeline for our booth. Mary is alarmed both by my appearance and my plate. I tell her what's happening, and now she's starting to worry too. We can see him still at the buffet, but he's not adding anything else to his plate. He's looking around, but he doesn't see us. He then walks away out of sight again, for a while I get to eat my from my plate of shame and relax. I don't think much of it when the couple at the table next to us get up to leave. I don't think much of it when the

always on point point, golden-crow-staff cleared and cleaned the table. At that moment, I was just a thick girl enjoying some pudding. We've all been there. Then Mary says, no fucking way. I look up and Santa is hustling over. Thank you, Not interested today. No. He then puts his plate on the table right next to us, and he picks the chair that faces me because fuck me, I guess. We don't look at him, but we can hear him talking,

and it sounds like he's talking to someone on the phone. Mary's plate is now empty, and I know she wants to get more, but she whispers that she doesn't want to leave me there. I tell her to go. It's just a few minutes, I'll be fine, right? Oh no. Please play it is now empty and I know she wants to get more, but she whispers that she doesn't want to leave me there. I tell her to go. It's just a few minutes, I'll be fine, right? Oh no. I'm so stressed.

Mary leaves. I'm very stressed. Against my better judgment, I sneak a look over at Santa and I realize that he's not on the phone. He's got a finger to his ear, like he's got a Bluetooth, but there's nothing there. He was faking a whole last conversation. Oh my God. He catches me looking.

And the next thing I know, he moves his hand away from his ear, slams his hands on the table, turns his body so that he's directly facing me and just fucking stares at me. He doesn't say a word, just stares and breathes heavily. I'd be like, yo Santa, are you good or what? I really hate this. I probably should have been alarmed, but frankly, I was just pissed off.

I'm thinking, how fucking dare this guy make me uncomfortable, I'm just trying to eat. Like, let me heifer in peace, you weird ass bitch. That's my new motto. Let me heifer in peace, you weird ass bitch. Just always, forever rude. So I stare back at him and to show him that I'm not fucking around, I pick up my steak knife and just casually hold onto it. Like try me, fucking try me ho. Try me Santa.

I love you. Mary comes back and offers to you quickly. I tell her to take her time. I could wait. Meanwhile, I continue my staring contest with Santa. A few minutes to take her time. I could wait. Meanwhile, I continue my staring contest with Santa. A few minutes later, a man comes to our booth. He appears to be around our age and is hella handsome. I realize I probably like bat chick crazy holding the steak knife. He squats and says in a low voice, my buddies and I have been watching this

guy. We're going to move to the table right in front of him and we're ready to jump if he tries something. We've also asked for the manager. Are you guys okay? What a fucking gentleman. We stand a handsome helper. Oh We love that. We then came and watch him move to the new table with his friends Santa watches them and looks mad Like his face gets really red. I grit my steak knife a little tighter The manager comes by and she is, I'm not kidding, the sweetest woman. She brings us each a plate with cake, which we ate because Chonky. Chonky, and she says that she will also be keeping a very close eye on Santa, and she does to the point where he is visibly annoyed.

Every few minutes the manager is at his table refilling his water and asking him what he needs. He tries to brush her off but she's relentless. With that fake it till you make it customer service personality, I am all too intimate with. We finish our cake and we are ready to go, but we're nervous about trying to get out of our booth. Was this guy going to follow us? Did he see which car we were in? The next time we see the manager we get her attention and whisper to her are concerns. This woman, like a fucking champ says, I've got this. She goes over to Santa's table and positions herself so that he would have to look at

her in a way from us. I don't know what she says to him, but whatever it is holds his attention long enough that we were able to get the fuck out without him seeing us. If you recall, we paid before eating, so we were able to just leave. We walked briskly through the restaurant, and once we're outside, we fucking sprint to our car. We were so shaken up that we didn't stop again for another four hours. Seeing this and writing, it doesn't seem as scary as it felt at the time, but I hope

you were entertained anyway. I don't know why I didn't alert the manager right away. Probably that thing I do where I think I can handle my shit, even when I most definitely has should ask for help. All I know is that I've not been to a golden Crayl since and I keep a close eye on anyone dressed as Santa. Weirdly yours, Sam. That's amazing.

I love that. That was a good one. That was a good one. Alright, so my next one is called Rowan. Rowan. You know that was a name that we almost named, um, one of our babies. I know a couple people named Rowan and they're all great people. There you go.

All right. So my daughter Mia was notorious in her younger toddler years for having her own language. We lovingly referred to it as me and niece. Me and niece, that's cute. She would jab her out and then land on a final world word at the end that actually made sense. It was like jujujuju cheese or one day I heard my daughter say the name Rowan. The only Rowan I know is from is my high school English teacher's daughter

and I haven't mentioned that name in at least 10 years. As a family we don't know any Rowans and my daughter stays at home with me all day every day. We hadn't watched any shows with any characters named Rowan or even characters that sounded like Rowan. It came from nowhere just to be clear. That's terrifying. She began to put around the house and she would mention Rowan sporadically but all the time. Rowan this, Rowan that. One night she woke up screaming bloody murder and has been rushed in to see if she was okay. He came out and said, who is Rowan? That's all she'll say. Oh my god. No. I would, I'd return it. Just return Mia. Yep. That's what I give her back. Sorry. Mia had a great run, but now she's done. One day she was drawing a picture on a blue note card. I

asked her what she was drawing. She told me it was Rowan. For two years old, this girl actually, this girl had actually drawn something. It looked like an actual figure and it freaked me out. I started asking her a series of questions trying my best not to load them. From the east, she gave me some interesting pieces of information. Rowan was orange, and she kept saying, ears, ears. She also mentioned that he had a tail, which I'll circle back to my personal thoughts on this later. Wowzers. Yeah. The logical side of me assumed that Rowan was an imaginary character, but something was really eating at me.

My creepy side. Kids are creepy. So creepy. What if she somehow referring to a ghost, a murder I had to know? I googled murders and effort at PA. The first name that pops out? Gregory Row. Row.

Get the fuck out of here immediately. It turns out there was a murder down the street from my house, walking distance in 2001. A man by the name of Ben Amato was brutally murdered with a baseball bat and was found in the basement of his home. Cheryl Nuckel was charged with the murder. Gregory Row was her son. He unknowingly assisted Cheryl that evening by driving her to the house and then was the getaway car after she had committed the murder. Gregory Rowe went on to kill his 17-year-old girlfriend and their infant daughter.

Oh my god. Absolutely tragic, but also a sign that he's a murderer. It turns out there's an episode about the case on snapped, so my husband and I decided to watch it. There was orange residue at the crime scene. Gregory Row has enormous ears. Get the fuck out of here. All I just got chills, I've read this before I got chills. All I can hear my daughter saying is orange and ears, ears, and humor me here. But what if the tale is actually the bat the ghost of Benamado is carrying around in his afterlife? But what if the tale is actually the bat the ghost of

Benamato is carrying around in his afterlife. And what if Rowan is simply just the spirit of Benamato is able to get out of his very battered bloody face instead of row or row and. We asked my daughter about Rowan the other day. She was quiet then she smiled and kept playing. Yo. And that was from Danny. Yo, Danny. That is terrifying. That shit. I'm just so scary.

No. Whenever it's kids, and doing that kind of shit, I'm always, I want to say to my girls all the time, like, don't, don't you do that shit to me? I'm just not into it. Don't you bring me into your little spirit world?

Don't you want me? That happened to you before, with the girls. I know, with the girls. I'm just not into it. Don't you bring me into your little spirit world? Don't you want me? Not to bother you before with the girls. I know, with the girls. Yeah, they said that people with scissors were standing in their doorway. Please don't do that. And badass Alina was like, walks out into the doorway where they pointed

and was like, are they here? And then they were like, yeah, and she was like, look, their mama's friends. I literally did. I stood out there and was like, okay, so we're friends. So see, everything's okay. And in my head, I was like, I'm gonna scream and cry. But it worked.

They went to bed after that. They haven't complained about it since. Yes, or maybe everybody was pleased. It was a win-win win. I think it was a win-win, but holy shit, Danny. That's terrifying. Really scary. And now I wanna look into that murder case. So thank

you. I know I did you. So my next one is called Listener Tale. The time we almost got sliced by a crazy troll man. I already love this. It's terrifying. Greetings spooky bitches. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. You guys rock. You're welcome to use my name. It's Maddie. Hi Maddie. Hi Maddie. This story is about the time a friend and I decided to quote Enjoy some herbal enhancements at a state park when we came across a creep with a scalpel We tried to lure us under a bridge. Oh, so a legitimate bridge troll an actual But with a scalpel. I love this the story took place on a sunny afternoon after my classes had ended that day I was in community college at the time.

A friend from class and I had decided to roll up a fatty and take our asses down to the state park to be one with nature. Because that's what you do for fun when you live in a suburban New England. Yep. We can definitely attest to that. Keep in mind that there are a lot of various long trails you can take. So even on a really nice day, it's possible that you only come across one or two other people while you're there. So we were laughing and joking along and eventually finished this juicy blunt between the two of us.

Needless to say, we were thoroughly blazed, so then we came to a small bridge, the kind that was made of stone and used to cross dried upstream slash ditch type things. There was someone's bike, bag, and some other items resting to one side of it. The bridge wasn't big, but hefty and large enough for someone to crouch under it comfortably, and crouch they did. Because as my friend and I crossed the bridge,

a fucking man came out from underneath it and approached us. He was older, about 60 years old with shaggy white hair and red marks all over his face. When he came closer to us, he was holding his phone and a scalpel. That's correct. A mother fucking surgical scalpel.

No, thank you. Like, yo, no one should have a scalpel unless you are doing things in a clinical environment that you're licensed to do. Not that scuffle. You don't have a scalpel. Wait till you hear his excuse. As he came closer, he smiled and said in a friendly voice,

Hey girls, I was wondering if you two could help me out with something. By this point, my friend and I looked at each other with bloodshot eyes and gave each other that, are you seeing what I'm seeing right now, face? And stood frozen as the man continued to speak. He went on, you see, my dentist gave me these tools, and I'm trying to get a picture of a carving I'm doing over here. He motioned towards under the bridge to prove to him that I'm using them.

And I need someone to take my picture next to it. He held up his phone. Like, what story is that? What a yarn! you just gave me. What do you need to work on that? Wow, as he spoke, I looked down to see the rest of his quote, tools he was referring to in a chill ran at my spine. As I realized what they were, he had neatly laid out a various array of,

oh fuck this, of surgical tools. No, like very pointy and sharp medical instruments. Just casually laid out to carve something under the bridge. Very normal. Oh yeah, he also had a pair of work gloves chill in there too. That's cool. Not cool. Not cool at all. Nope, that dude was going to do an operation on you. He was going to disenbowel you. Yeah, that's exactly what he was going to do. We were both still frozen at this point and one of us managed to stammer out an um side note. Keep in mind we were fucking ripped and both of us were thinking the weed must have been laced and that we're both hallucinating because what entire fucking nation is going on here? Anyways, the bull shit ensued. We were too stoned and scared to ignore him and run away and the dude could

tell we were freaked out because then the shit-stained motherfucker had the audacity to tell us he worked there, at the state park. And we were supposed to believe he was just vandalizing it on his day off. Okay, like, oh, okay, yeah, sure, makes so much sense now. He said something along the lines of, I just need a quick picture, and held his phone out towards my friend, who was closest to him. Then my friend went, okay, it started walking, started to walk towards him, all the while I'm thinking, what the fuck? No, he's gonna scalpel your throat. While I was standing there like a helpless baby, in my defense I was very high and unsure if any of this was actually happening, he then handed her the phone and he went back to his fucking troll hiding spot and tucked under the bridge while

he waited for her to climb down and join him. But thank the Blessed Lord Jesus, she stayed right where she was and snapped his photo from there. He climbed back up and examined the picture and started to say something like, I need one more close up. But then the devil's let us smog cleared from my head. I felt this though at any moment, he would take a chance and slip my friend's throat or stab her. And so I suddenly shouted, oh shit, what time is it?

My friend and the man both looked at me strangely. My friend then goes, it's like 3.30, why? Then grabbed her arm and said, I gotta go home, I told my mom. I would be home to helper with something. We have to go like right now. And that's all it took. We were out of there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit

on a hawk greasy griddle in the middle of August. Yes, punchbomb. And we booked it. Hell, we didn't just book it, we libraryed it. The fuck out of it. That was my favorite part. That was amazing. All while wondering if he was gonna come chasing at us

on his bike, wielding his scalpel. We were both so confused and scared and the whole way back to the car we were just looking behind our shoulders. We were trying to justify the whole event and thought maybe we just had a weird guy and just and he just really didn't need his picture taken. But we settled on the fact that either way he almost made us shit ourselves and would probably scare the poop out of anyone else in the park So we called the cops when we got back to the car and reported this suspicious behavior, but nothing came of it But you know what good for you for doing that So that's that hope that guy eventually got a good pick to show his dentist. I Loved that it's a dentist. I'm just so confused by that. I love that he just that's that's really committing He's like me and my bro ski dentist. Yeah, Yeah he just wants me to take a picture of this troll bridge and he

lent me tools. Yeah like what? Keep it weird my friends but not so weird that you plan to murder some girls so you tell them a dent that your dentist gave you some medical tools so you can make a carving under a bridge and a state park where you just so happen to work but one of the rooms your plans and they run away. Love you guys so much. Your pot has quickly become my favorite. And you're both hilarious and really cool people. And I admire you both. Love a fellow weirdo, Maddie.

Maddie. Love that one. You fucking killed it, Maddie. You killed it. That was awesome. You fucking killed it. All right, so we have one more listener tale. One more listener tale.

And this one is a doozy. Ooh, I love a good doozy. It says, I thought I was spooky and then my kid was like, hold my juice box. Which if you're gonna write a fucking subject line, that's the way to do it. That got me right away. Yeah, that got me. Alright, hey, Landa Nash. First of all, I love your podcast and everything you bring to it, especially your kick-ass

personalities. Thank you! Thanks so much! I was going to apologize for this being so long, but I know you guys don't like that, so I'll retract it, and instead just for warn you, it's gonna be long. At least for my standards, which are lowest fuck. Shorten and edited if you need to. Smiley face. Like we always say.

Don't worry about it. Yes, fine. Deep breath, Here I go. I finally decided to sit down and tell you about the spoof show that is my life. Basically, Ghost Loves Me and my children, and I keep sage on me like my life depends on it. I've experienced Ghost my whole life, and now at 30 with four kids, I've come to a point in my life where I'm just not going to open these ghosts out because I do not have the time. Four kids will do that, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hell yeah. Let's bring it back to 2009. Let's do it. Let's do it. Here we are. I live in the oldest house in my town, and it's spooky, but nothing extreme. There would be random things moved around cabinets, opening and closing, but my family pretty much turned the blind eye to it.

Okay. Alright. You got to do what you gotta do when you live in an old househouse. You're out here living. Yeah. That all changed the day I brought home my baby girl from the hospital.

We started seeing this man with this stupid fucking hat in our hallways and backyard. What the fuck? No, thank you. I shit you not, he loved to walk behind our car as we were backing out of our driveway and seeing him outlined by red brake lights

would make the undertaker piss himself. Oh shit. Yeah, me and my boyfriend at the time, now husband, we're rightfully so like, what the fuck? We didn't know how to deal with it and thought after hearing us tell him to fuck off, he would get the picture and just leave or something. Ghost for Dummies 101, that shit did not work.

I was just gonna say, I feel like that's not gonna work. So our daughter's room is right next to ours. She would never sleep in her room, not for lack of us trying. As a first time mom, I was like, it's just normal. She wants to be by me. Nope. One night I got her to sleep in my arms and walked her in her room and put her in her crib.

So I know. Why does no one fucking tell you how terrifying putting down the sleeping baby could be? Because you know there's like a 77% chance they're going to wake back up and just stare you in the eye like you dumb bitch you thought you were slick. That's literally how they look at you too. It is 100%.

Every time I put little girlfriend in her crib, if she wakes up, her eyes flick, wide the fuck open and she just stares at me like, you fucking asshole. Like every single time she saw a dacity of you. Get me out of this shit. It's insane and it's always the scariest thing because you have to do them like feet to head too so they don't feel like they're falling backward. It's real weird.

It's too much. I feel her. They're like, I sleep in arms and arms only. Yeah, that's it. All right, so anyways, it was a success. I got her down and she was still asleep. That is the biggest success. Good for you, man. I snuck back into my room like a ninja and was just about to doze off when I hear her screaming bloody murder. Me and my again boyfriend at the time,

but I'm just gonna stop and call my husband from here on out. Looked at each other in that loving way that says it's your turn when we hear a man. Yeah right. When we hear a man voice clear as fucking day in her room going shhh. Oh fuck no. No no no no no. Oh my whole body just rejected that notion. I hate that. And she stopped screaming.

No. We both flew into her room thinking there was an intruder. Spoiler, there wasn't. We took her back into our room and pretty much took turn sleeping because we were so freaked out. The next day we went to this little shop and got sage and cleans the whole house.

That very night, our daughter started sleeping in her room without issue and we never saw that spooky man or his stupid hat again. But fast forward, six-ishly, that's really hard to say. Six ish years. We've since moved and added another addition this time a boy. Our house is fairly new and we haven't experienced anything. So we're all good, right? Wrong. Our son hates baths. Like deathly afraid to the point I can't give them to him because he hurts himself flopping around. I end up

holding him in the shower to wash him up, but I can't let the water get on his face or I give him a sponge bath. Here's where shit gets weird. Our son is a delayed talker and his first word is mama. Oh. Sweet, right? His second word? Titanic.

Oh. Casual. Over the next couple of years. I love that. Over the next couple of years we can't ignore how obsessed he is with the Titanic. We don't. We don't. It was on the Titanic in another life. I'm saying just wait.

We don't know where he heard it, but he always brings it up and otherwise gibberish conversations. He builds little Titanic with his Legos and he has the colors in a certain order and a certain number of smoke stacks. I'll admit I only watched Titanic once as a kid and honestly thought the shit was the most boring movie ever. Oh hell no that shit was fire. I love that movie but I can't watch it anymore. The end of the apria? You know when you cry and snot comes out of every office of your face I can't watch it. That was like primely an out of caprio time so.

Oh my god, such a babe prime. Okay, so if I saw a picture of any big boat, you could tell me it was the Titanic and I believe you. So I did catch, so I didn't catch on to the accurate details he was putting into his Lego Titanic's, but my mother did. She eventually talks me into looking up Titanic pictures and seeing for myself. My son is like three at this point, so I decided I was going to disprove my mother. I pulled up a black and white picture of an old ship that looks similar to the Titanic. I show my son, and I'm like, here's the Titanic.

He looked at me like I was the dumbest person alive, and he shook his head. No, mama, not Titanic. Oh, shit. Pull up the Titanic picture. What about this one? Shakes his head. No mama, not Titanic. Pull up the Titanic picture. What about this one? Shakes his head. Yes, Titanic. At this point, I'm a little creeped out and of course I must investigate a little more. I ask, where is the Titanic? And he says, in water, on floor. Oh, I wanted to stop at this point, but I could not, I just could not shut the fuck up.

What happened to the people? I would do the same thing. I'd be like, Oh, I'm interrogation time. I would become an investigative journalist. Um, uh, what happened to the people? He said they died in water, Mama, me too. Oh, I would go to the dynamite. I would like, sorry, you have to move out now, sweetheart. As it would happen, I found his Titanic to move out now, sweetheart. As if it would happen. I found his Titanic or excuse me, I found this Titanic book at a rummage sales shortly after. It had pictures he could color with diagrams of the boat in half.

So you could see what the inside looked like. He could point out and name different parts of the ship. He pointed out where his bed was in the ship. He's five now and no longer remembers his Titanic life. But he did one night last early fall, uh, start repeatedly saying his bed was in the ship. He's five now and no longer remembers his Titanic life, but he did one night last early fall, uh, start repeatedly saying Oklahoma. Wow. Me knowing my kids was on some shit, but not wanting to accept it. Uh, sorry, I lost my place. Not wanting to accept it said, wow, you're really learning about different states in school already. Him. No. Me.

Well, what do you know about it then? Him. You know, mom. Dramatic pause. The explosions. Me playing dumb because I'm fucking tired and in denial. What? Him looking at me stupid.

The bomb's mom. Me. Who told you about that? Him. I don't know. I've always just known. Me. K. Bye. Love-bye, I love you, goodnight. Needless to say, he is either reincarnated or

talks to ghosts or both. Spooky a ship, but he's adorable and I love him to death. The last part also includes my son, as he is super sensitive to anything and everything. We sadly had to put down our first family dog. It was super hard and sad and incredibly heartbreaking for my son, who cried for our beloved dog, Daily. The day we got his ashes back, we set him up with his collar and paw prints in our room. Shortly after that, my husband and son started having night terrors, and my husband and I started seeing shadow figures around the house. Hate that. Finally, my husband called me out to the garage because we don't speak about ghost

in our house. It gives them more strength and energy to do spooky ass shit. Don't do it. And he goes, I don't know what the fuck you brought in. You brought home in that box, but it is not our fucking dog. Oh, I'm already stressed out. He literally wanted me to call the place who cremated our dog to tell them they gave us a box with a fucking demon instead of our dog.

I definitely knew something was up but didn't think it was that extreme. He won't tell me what his night terrors were about but I'm going to guess the box was involved. Meanwhile our son casually brings up the tall skinny eyeless man he has been seeing on our mother fucking ceiling. Yeah, that's fine. No, that's fine. Don't worry about it. That has been telling him to do bad things he doesn't want to repeat. My husband is just sitting there shaking his head staring at me like I tried to tell you. We pack our kids up and noped all the way to our little witchy store that sells sage. I knew we needed some superman type sage for this in an entity and we settled on black sage.

We got home through bandanas around our nose and mouths and sage the house. The kids following behind us chanting, you are not welcome here, go leave, go to the light. Once again, all stopped. Shout out to fucking sage. I had it in the fucking. I was scary as these encounters were at the time.

I love looking back at the memory of us bandandoop noping the ghost out of our house like it was a turf war. We pretty much said, hey ghost demon, you're ubers here by. My neighbors will never know how much, my neighbors will never know that a bunch of sage-wheeling gangsters are living next to them. Oh my god, I love that. Yes, I love you girls and thank you so much for brain-burning the breast best crew crime podcast ever Sincerely Jessica. Yes, you can use my name How yes Jessica that was awesome Jessica. Thank you

That's all I can think of is like what a wonderful wholesome family activity that you're all just walking around being like go to the light You're so welcome. Yeah. I love that she was like it was a turf war. Fuck yeah, it was. You got to take that ship back. I'm saying. Wow. You guys know where? That was a bunch of good ones. Yeah, you guys kill it every time. There's always a bunch of good ones. And we figured, you know, this week, you can take it into like, there was a couple of like fun ones in there just to like shake it up.

Yeah. Because you know what? Everything's very serious right now. And everybody's getting bad news on the news daily And we're all missing each other and go and fucking crazy and people are losing their jobs And it's just bad shit. So it's just bad shit Errorware and so you know what? Listener Tales brings us back to a place of whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop We're just whooping it up Vicki Gunvelson style. We are whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop. We're just whooping it up, Vicki Gunvelson style. We are whooping it up.

And you know what? Just to give you guys a little bit of like, you be to look forward to, our main episode this week is gonna be on the great, gnarly, awful, crazy-ass, Carol Baskins. No, you gotta say Carol fucking Baskins. Carol fucking Baskins. Doesn't he say like that bitch, Carol Baskins. No, you got to say Carol fucking Baskins. Carol fucking Baskins. Doesn't he say like that bitch, Carol Baskins?

I think it is. Yes, he says multiple things. His words, multiple things. Not mine. But yeah, we're going to cover the case of Carol Baskins. We're going to discuss why do we think she killed her husband or not. I watched Tiger King and I did formulate an opinion, but I do wanna go over everything one more time

before we have the episode and see if I still feel the same way. Exactly, because I think if you just watched Tiger King, your opinion is very misinformed because that was a very one-sided way of looking. And it was very quick overview of it. You really just gotta look at the case. And we're gonna leave it to you.

Not for nothing, Joe Exotic is not a good guy. No, I mean you didn't try to have somebody killed. Let's be real about it. No matter what, that's no point. And I mean, and he has a crazy music career that is definitely not him singing. So those songs are bops. Hate to admit it. It's no good. No bueno. And he has real of minutes. No good, no bueno, any Israel bad things. So, yeah, so we're gonna be covering the case of Carol Baskins and we are gonna have a fun week next week, so you got lots of things to look forward to. So many fun, fun things. All the fun, fun things.

Okay, so if you would like to follow us on Instagram, you can do so at Mor morbid podcast. You can hit us up on Twitter. A morbid podcast. Join the Facebook group. morbid coolant. A true crime podcast. It's awesome in there. It's the bestest. Sure is. Check out our website for all details on live shows. morbidpodcast.com. And listen to us all the time wherever you get your podcasts, especially Spotify! Especially Spotify, and by the way guys, you can listen to podcasts for free on Spotify. You don't need the premium. Yeah, you don't need the premium. You don't need it.

You don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it. You do it. Cool. Yeah. Okay, so we hope you keep listening.

And we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you go into a golden coral and say at a staring at you and trying to maybe kill you. And not so weird that your kid tells you row and row and row and row. And not so weird that your kid's like, hey hold my juice box, I got shit to tell you I was on the toy dannick.

And not so weird that you almost get sliced by a crazy bridge troll guy. And not so weird that your friend is sad that your friend got murdered. It is really sad that your friend got murdered. So you know what? Just keep it weird, but not so talk to you about that weird. Yeah. Thanks guys. All right, we love you. Bye. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Morid, early, and ad-free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple

podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Hi, I'm Lindsay Graham, the host of Wondery's podcast American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our newest series, we look at the Kids for Cash Scandal, a story about corruption inside America's system of juvenile justice.

In Northeastern, Pennsylvania, residents had begun noticing an alarming trend. Children were being sent away to jail in high numbers, and often for committing only minor offenses. The FBI began looking at two local judges, and when the full picture emerged, it made national headlines. The judges were earning a fortune, carrying out a brazen criminal scheme,

one that would shatter the lives of countless children, and force a heated debate about punishment, an America's criminal justice system. Follow American scandal wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder App.