Morbid - Listener Tales 19

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Starting point is 00:01:23 of your home. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's ANGI.com. Hey weirdos, I'm Alena. I'm Ash. And this is a listener tails episode. Oh, listener tails. Yeah. Oh, yeah! It's actually a special Halloween edition. Spooky scary skeletons and shivers down your spine. So welcome.

Starting point is 00:02:11 Don't sue us. Scary spooky skeleton version of listener tails. You're welcome. You're welcome. And you know what? This is our October listener tails. So you won't get another one of these till November. Oh, so sad for you. So sad for you.

Starting point is 00:02:25 So sad for you, buddy. But we figured we'd get this Halloween right in the beginning of the month, and we have something special for you this week. Yeah. You know what it is? Why? Because we love you so much. I love you.

Starting point is 00:02:38 We just love you so much. And in spooky season. In spooky. I'm going to do an episode that is all about sand. I can't say this. I'm pretty sure it's Sowing, which we all know as Samphan or Halloween. I'm going to talk about you lost me. The way you pronounce it is Sowing. Oh, even though it looks like

Starting point is 00:02:56 Samphan. You were like, we all know Sowing. We all know. I'm going to talk about the origins of Halloween in an episode. next week. We're gonna go like totally into it Talk all about it and guess what yeah, guess what what you're getting three episodes next week one's gonna be And free guys I feel like listener tails now are just for one we're feeling like way too silly to do like a real episode because that'd be fucked up. Yeah. We are feeling wicked punchy so we decided listen to our tales is where we gotta go with what we feel. Yeah. We're feeling this today. It's just the artistry of the job. It is. It's art and we gotta go where the art tells us to go. And so you're getting an ad-free episode next week for no fucking reason, except that we love you. And we want you to have it.

Starting point is 00:03:46 And it was a joy to research about Salline, Sam Hane. So I just figure, here you go. Yeah, you got it. You got it. Add free because you know what, we love you. And you've stuck around. So thank you for that. So take a look for that.

Starting point is 00:04:00 And also your other two episodes next week. So next week is about to get so fucking wild. October is fucking bananas. You know who we just sounded like fucking from Big Mouth, the Hormone Monster. The Hormone Monster. We did. Next week is a bad BYUI. So why?

Starting point is 00:04:17 I call this one Amy. We did. He's a Malady. We are the Hormone Monster, so I'm not welcome to this episode. Everyone listening right now is like, what the fuck was that intro? Yeah, they were like, are you okay? And the answer is no. No, no, the answer is we answered.

Starting point is 00:04:35 The answer is I'm not because there's a burp stuck inside my mouth tube right now. And it hurts and it won't come out. Maybe it will. Maybe you guys will coax it out. It hurts and it won't come out. Maybe it will. Maybe you guys will coax it out. All right. So let's start this off. Let's start it off with Listener tail a Halloween ghost and intruder a sleepwalking aunt. Okay. Who starts? Start to say who's to say hi? You weirdos. I'm gonna start with the obligatory rant on how much I love you guys in your podcast, but I'll keep you know

Starting point is 00:05:04 I love you. I'll keep my gushing short. Thank you. My name is Ange. Yep, you can use it. Thanks Ange. Big Ange. Big Ange. And I've been a listener since the beginning and I've yet to find a podcast that is amazing

Starting point is 00:05:15 as yours. Wow, that's really nice. Thank you. I've tried to find out if I still listen to you while I'm all cut up on yours, but nothing quite fits the bill. You're great at what you do and I truly appreciate all the effort you put into each episode. I've gotten multiple of my weirdo friends to start listening in there just as obsessed.

Starting point is 00:05:28 That's very nice of you, thank you, Ange. Thanks, Ange, big Ange. Anywho, here's my story for you. A couple years ago, I was living at my parents' house while my fiance and I were saving up to buy our house. My aunt, who is diagnosed with a disease that affects, and she wrote AFFEX, and then she wrote efex. Who knows the difference?

Starting point is 00:05:46 You know, that's my biggest like issue in life. Afex is like a verb and efex is like a noun. Usually everyone just turns this off. So thanks a lot. I'm just trying to teach you guys stuff. I'm just trying to teach you stuff. I'm just trying to fucking help you out. Well either way, my aunt was diagnosed with a disease that affects her nervous system

Starting point is 00:06:04 was also living there since she could no longer live on her own. That's really sad. This is a slightly older house where you can hear, well, pretty much everything. Same. My mom's best friend lives across the street and my mom would babysit sometimes babysit her dogs when her friend would go on vacation. So one Halloween, because do we have to do that every time we do that? Yes, okay.

Starting point is 00:06:24 Every time Halloween Halloween? Halloween! Because this is the Halloween episode. I had my fiance come over for the night to watch spooky movies with me after handing candy out to the neighborhood street youths. When the night was coming to a close my mom walked across the street to her friend's house to stay the night so the pups wouldn't be alone. My fiance and I eventually end up going to sleep and I get woken up in the middle of the night to him getting out of a tiny ass full bed. Not thinking of it, I roll over and try to fall back to sleep. He returns to the bed, lays down, then gets up again about two minutes later. I hear him open the door to my room and close it again, but doesn't leave the room. Then I hear him moving shit around inside the room.

Starting point is 00:07:04 Now I'm getting grumpy. To fuck you, dude, man. It's 3 a.m. and a bitch needs some sleep. I get so grumpy if we're gonna... I would pour Annie. Pour Annie indeed. I get real pissed. He gets into the bed and doesn't say anything.

Starting point is 00:07:16 In my sleepy state, I don't think to ask questions. Just grateful that he's quiet and back in bed, finally, so I can sleep. Then he rolls over. Whisper's really quietly to me. There's someone in the house. That was a really good whisper ASMR. And...

Starting point is 00:07:33 Well, 10 out of 10 would agree that nothing wakes your ass up more than those five words. I roll over and just spit out, huh? Honestly, what else do you say to that? I don't know. There's someone in the house, they are standing against the, oh, fuck that. What?

Starting point is 00:07:51 There is someone in the house, they are standing against the wall in the corner of the living room, facing the wall. Oh, fuck no. I'm sorry, there's a fucking person facing the wall, not moving. I'm gonna need to go home now. Yeah. Then he says, I'm sure of it.

Starting point is 00:08:08 I went to the bathroom and thought I saw something but came back to bed. I chalked it up to be a plant, but I had to check. I stuck my head out again and there's a mother fucking person in the living room. Oh my God, wait, when you said there's a mother fucking person in the living room, I was following along but reading really fast

Starting point is 00:08:23 and I thought it said there's a mother fuck a piss in the living room. I was following along but reading really fast. And I thought it said there is a motherfucka pissing in the living room. That would make sense. That's the way they're facing the wall. Yeah, because they were just pissing on the wall. Maybe that's what's, maybe this is a spoiler earlier. Maybe I ruined it. No, no.

Starting point is 00:08:37 Then he says, oh no, he didn't, he just said that. No, sorry. No. So he says he is not one to panic over anything at all ever. Now my heart is racing. Well, it's 3 a.m. on Halloween. If any ghosts were to come out, it is 100% at this exact moment. My actual response was, let's turn the light on. Apparently, I needed to start listening to True Crime podcast sooner. He basically was like, no dumb, dumb. That's a horrible idea. But like

Starting point is 00:09:05 kinder because he's a swell person. A swell person. Then he says take my knife and just hold on to it. It's pitch-ass black in this room and you want to hand me a knife? Sure. Okay. I could possibly go wrong. I feel like I resonate with it, right? To state the obvious here, the knife cut me in the process of him handing to me. NBD. So in the dark, we laid in the bed barely breathing. I was clutching this stupid three inch knife and honestly had no idea what the heck he was holding. We were listening for any and every noise that was happening in the house. It was terrifyingly quiet.

Starting point is 00:09:39 Finally he said, I can't take it. I'm going to turn the lights on and the hallway and go out there. You stay in the room with the knife. Take your phone out and have 911 up in case you have to call. I was too scared to disagree. He ran out of the room, turned all the lights on, and nothing. No plant, no person, no demon, no sleepwalking on. We ended up begrudgingly going back to bed, but not before checking the front door.

Starting point is 00:10:01 That's when we found it... Unlocked. No! No! Especially on fucking Halloween Halloween of all nights. Halloween? Lock your doors. No idea what it was, but I 100% believe that we saw something. I slept with a bat next to my bed until I moved out after that. Thanks for taking the time to read my story, ladies. I seriously love your podcast and I'm thankful to have after that. Thanks for taking the time to read my story, ladies. I seriously love your podcast, and I'm thankful to have found it.

Starting point is 00:10:26 You make even the shittiest days a little less shitty. Keep it weird, and sh- Holy shit, and I am glad that you are alive. Say, you are. You and your fiance. Fee-o-say, fee-o-say, fee-o-say. I like that he just, I also love the drama that he infused into that, that he just leaned over.

Starting point is 00:10:43 I was like, there's someone in the house. Yeah, if Annie did that to me, I'd be like, fuck off. If John did that to me, I'd be like, you shut the fuck up right now. Get out of here. You know what? Who the fuck says that? You're the fucker you, bitch. She's whispered that shit into my face.

Starting point is 00:10:59 I'm so sorry. To me, I like that he would it was for it in your ear, but your face on Halloween. No. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Starting point is 00:11:15 We just came back from a break so this makes no sense. Okay, so this one that I decided to pick while the audio was paused is called, I don't know what's wrong with us. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Sorry, I'm going to calm down. It's called, I don't know what's wrong with us. Yeah, that's a lot going on. Sorry, I'm gonna calm down. It's called Sorority House Guest. Hi, ladies. Sorority House ghost.

Starting point is 00:11:29 Yep. It's a lot more sinister. It's a lot more sinister. Sure. I don't know what it is about listener tails that makes me, you just forget to read. Yeah. Oh.

Starting point is 00:11:38 Hey there, fellow podcast listener. It's Elena. And Ash. We're taking you back to the days before streaming services. Whoa. You know when you would come home from high school and it was only a few hours until that TV show,

Starting point is 00:11:53 everyone was watching was about to come on. Well, in 1999, that show was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In our podcast with Wondery, the re-watcher Buffy the Vampire Slayer, we take it back to 1999. So get out your knee-high boots and paste that poster of Angel on the Wall. It's time to enter the Buffyverse. Some of you avid morbid listeners already know what we've gotten store.

Starting point is 00:12:17 Join us. Join us as we sway our way through Buffy's drama, action, and romance. Episode by episode. Slacy. Follow the rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and add free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. B-. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our newest series, we look at the Kids for Cash Scandal, a story about corruption inside America's system of juvenile

Starting point is 00:12:56 justice. In Northeastern Pennsylvania, residents had begun noticing an alarming trend. Children were being sent away to jail in high numbers, and often for committing only minor offenses. The FBI began looking at two local judges, and when the full picture emerged, it made national headlines. The judges were earning a fortune, carrying out a brazen criminal scheme, one that would shatter the lives of countless children and force a heated debate about punishment and America's criminal justice system. Follow American scandal wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wonder App. So hi ladies, I started listening to your podcast a couple months ago and I

Starting point is 00:13:36 am obsessed. It's nice to know there is a whole community of fellow weird as hell more bad people out here. Sure is. I know it is right right? Anyways, I have a listener tale for you. And as you can guess from the subject, it's about a real life sorority house ghost. Ghost. Not guest. I hope this isn't too long. You can shorten it if you need.

Starting point is 00:13:53 Never. I graduated from college in 2016, so I've been away from the house for a bit, but I'm pretty sure our sorority rents it. So who knows, maybe some more spooky sweet listener tales to come from future haunted generations. Aww, that's nice. That's what I thought for us.

Starting point is 00:14:08 I lived in a sorority house with 12 other girls and we were all weird as shit. Hell yeah. That's amazing. Right? So it was a fucking blast. She said freaking. But I made it R rated. I decided that I'd change it.

Starting point is 00:14:21 It was a three story house plus a basement with nine rooms that was built in 1900. Definitely haunted as fuck. For sure. So you know some people are sure to have died up in there. I've touched a picture for your reference. And actually the picture, it's really pretty. That's so cool. It's almost like it reminds me of the murder house from AHS.

Starting point is 00:14:40 Oh, a little bit. I don't see that. Has the turret and everything. Yeah, I don't know what that means. It gives up a vibe. Okay. There are a couple stories that stand out to me that I will share. Story one. A bit of a back story. There were 13 girls in this house in nine rooms. So some of you were gonna say 13 ghosts in this house and I was like great movie. Awesome movie of to watch on Halloween. I don't even think this says Halloween in it. I think it does. It better. Yeah, October 31st is right there.

Starting point is 00:15:07 Oh, okay. There were 13 ghost girls in this house just getting girls in 9 rooms, so some of the bigger rooms had two people. I was the unlucky bitch placed in one of the rooms, but the rent was cheaper, so when? When. Yeah, fuck a roommate, though. I'll pay for not having one. Anyway, the point is I had a roommate. Like I just said, fuck that. No, thank you.

Starting point is 00:15:24 We lived out the second floor. I should also talk about the basement. You should. Which was more like a dungeon. Love it. It was unfinished, full of cobwebs, smelled like that old musty couple at church. Okay. This sounds like my basement. It does.

Starting point is 00:15:37 Be quite honest. It just sounds like any unfinished basement. And literally have this random ass rocking chair right in the middle of it. Oh, just like yours? Yeah, just like my basement. Yeah. Which was apparently there when. Yeah, just like my basement. Yeah. Which was apparently there when we got the house. Question mark.

Starting point is 00:15:48 She literally wrote question mark. There were many little room caves in this basement and one had a creepy old looking wood stove thing. I don't know. I never got too close. That's good for you. Yeah. 10 out of 10, I'd recommend. Anyway, to sir, I was going to say to Sir Mice.

Starting point is 00:16:04 To Sir Mice? To Sir Mines. To summarize, the basement was creepy as shit. No one ever went down there, at least not alone. And it looked like, uh, and it locked with a deadbolt from the upstairs. Seems sus, right? So we always kept it locked. My roomy woke me up super fugging early on. Fugging Halloween. Halloween. In one year 2013, question mark, I am talking the devil's hour. Fucking 3 a.m. on October 31st. That's so good.

Starting point is 00:16:30 Which is, you have to say the same. She's freaking out and she says she hears a banging noise. Sure, shit. There's this very slow and drug out knocking sound. It's like every 15 to 20 seconds or so. After 10 minutes of this non-stop annoyance, we decided to be those dumb girls in every scary movie ever made

Starting point is 00:16:48 and make our way downstairs to investigate. No. No. There we were greeted by another girl who lived on the first floor who also heard this sound. We couldn't tell where it was coming from, so we looked at the people on the front door and there was nobody there, but still,

Starting point is 00:17:02 the knocking continued. We checked the back door, nothing. We checked the creepy random extra staircase in the back of the house, nothing. Everybody else was sound asleep in their rooms with the doors closed. We looked around for a while more, and what do we find? The creepy ass basement deadbolt fucking door is wide, fucking open. You know the fuck out of there right now. Get out immediately. And Alaina, the basement lights are on. No, no. I'm out. No. It's like that SpongeBob meme that John loves. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Mind you, the lights are those annoying pull strings that hang from the ceiling.

Starting point is 00:17:41 So it's not like somebody accidentally flipped the wrong switch. We were too scared to go down there, good. So we pulled that door shut faster than a mouthhucker and locked that bad boy up. The knocking sound stopped after that. Needless to say, we didn't sleep the rest of that morning and went to class, rockin' a scared shitless hangover look. What the fuck? One of our roommates decided to head to the campus library to see if she could find anything

Starting point is 00:18:04 about the house. All she could find was that it was built in 1900 by a guy with the last name, Shackle Ford. I know, anti-climactic, but this comes into play in the next story. Ooh, it's a story. I am loving this narrative that she's spinning me. Not only is it a narrative, Elena, it's a fucking trilogy. It's cohesive as fuck and I love it. You should be an author. You should. Story number two.

Starting point is 00:18:28 This is a three story house. So lots of stairs are involved here. A myobie sass would be right out of her. Also, the stairs are all hardwood, making them slippery as shit. And they're ancient, so they're also steep as shit. Yeah, you're painting a really undesirable picture. You truly are, except I love it and I want to live there.

Starting point is 00:18:44 Nope. I was known for falling down the it and I want to live there. Nope. I was known for falling down the stairs and embarrassing them out because I'm coordinated. I'm as coordinated as a newborn giraffe. That's adorable. I also always wore fuzzy socks around the house, which is also adorable. That happens to me all the time.

Starting point is 00:18:56 That's how you broke your tailbone. That's how I broke my butt. Yep, that's how I broke my booty, which didn't help my case. Oralitis, but one time it was different. One time I was different. One time I was pushed. Oh, what? Was it an angry housemate?

Starting point is 00:19:10 Was it on Halloween? I swear on all of the seasons of the Office DVDs that I felt so good swear. Oh, that's a good swear. What? That's a good swear. She swears on all the seasons of the Office DVDs. That means she's telling the motherfucking truth.

Starting point is 00:19:27 She swear on it. Nothing but the truth. I just said she swear on it. She swear on it. She swear on it. She swear on it. So she swear on that. That I felt some asshole push me down the fucking stairs.

Starting point is 00:19:39 I clink it, he clinked my ass all the way down the stairs. I would have broken at least a couple and laid at the bottom for a while crying because well it fucking hurt. Particularly my right buttocks cheek. I eventually crawled out of my bed and one of my precious angel, angel baby roommates, brought me an ice pack from a booty cheek. She said but cheek but I felt like booty cheek was better. I said butk cushion for several bits of time and eventually got back up to check out the damage of the mirror. I had a giant ass bruise literally. And it was in the shape of SS for Shackleform. Oh!

Starting point is 00:20:17 Coincidence, I think not. That rat bastard pushed me down the stairs and I'll go to my grave believing it. Holy! I've also attached a picture of said bruised right butch cheek for your viewing pleasure because why not send some girls I've never met a picture of my bear ass. Can't be love you so much. And also that's an S bruise. That is an S bruise.

Starting point is 00:20:36 So did that. What I want to know is a shackle for just walking around his old ass property with like some little thing that's like in the shape of an S and he just ramped into your butt. It's your booty. Ouch. I don't like it. It's like a brand. That's what I was thinking. It's like a brand but it's not a shackle for girl. Only for a week or two. All right. Wow shackle for trilogy time story number three. This one is in my opinion the scariest. Ooh, again, I'm sleeping in a bigger room with a roommate and she has told me several

Starting point is 00:21:12 times that I've been talking in my sleep. I'm already out of there. Yeah, I'm guilty of that all the time. Oh, yeah, you say some fucked up shit. Sure do. I've never been told this story before so I wanted to know WT actual F. I was saying I, oh, she didn't say story. She said she'd never been told this before. So I wanted to know WT actual F. I was saying, I, oh, she didn't say story. She said she had never been told this before. So she wanted to know WT actual F.

Starting point is 00:21:30 She was saying, okay, I caught myself up. I downloaded this app that claimed to record sleep talk. Basically you turn it on when you go to bed and it only records when it is picked up sound for more than 10 seconds or so. And the morning, oh, I can already see this going to a dark place. Yeah, I'm actually really scared because I was like, I want that app. No, no. No, no. I don't want to ensure mine real quick.

Starting point is 00:21:50 In the morning, you could review the clips that it captured. I did this for a few weeks, and there were always between 10 to 20 clips to go through. Damn, wow. I feel like I would be in that too. Oh, you'd have more.

Starting point is 00:22:01 Most of them were just white noise of things that I can only assume were like old house sounds. I caught a few of the memorable ones of me saying things like, hmm, those green beans. I need pancakes or moving like a damn cow. I'm definitely a badass at my dreams. I'm a badass at my dreams I'm in life. It's okay. But one morning there was a clip that was the last clip I ever recorded or listened to.

Starting point is 00:22:26 It scared the shit out of me, so I deleted the app and vowed never to listen to that shit again. Now I'm wishing I would have saved that clip, but it's probably best I didn't. It was just whispers at first. I still don't know if it was me or Shackle Ford that was doing whispers,

Starting point is 00:22:39 but these whispers literally turned into some freaky ass Latin witchcraft. What the fuck? The whispers progressively got faster and louder and sounded like they were speaking at home. Oh, nope. You literally have chills, I do. I do too.

Starting point is 00:22:51 I just, I don't like it. I curled myself into a ball. I'm getting body chills typing this. I'm getting body chills reading this because it freaked me out so much. It was literally the voices you hear possessed people using in scary movies. Uh-uh.

Starting point is 00:23:03 I hate it. I hate it. What freaked me out the most is that again, I have no idea if it was me talking like this or someone else. Have I been possessed at some point in my life? I sure as hell of my fucking cope not. What if I do this in my sleep every night and I have no idea? Life is full of mysteries. What a way to look at it. I love that she answered that by just saying, life is full of mystery. It's such a great that's such a great outlook on possible possession. I love it. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you enjoyed all

Starting point is 00:23:33 my spooky sorority house stories. Keep it weird, free and she sent a picture of the eschabed booty bruise and the home. You are your legend. A legend. Your legend. And I love that you looked at possibly being possessed by a demon as life is full of mysteries. Life is full of mysteries. I love that. What a sherry outlook. I love it. You gotta do that.

Starting point is 00:23:57 You do. Okay, so my next one is, listen or tell, my mom doesn't think her house is haunted. Here's a few reasons why she's wrong. Incredible. I love it. I love that for you. Hey ladies, my mom and I are big fans of the show. Well, both shows now.

Starting point is 00:24:12 Yay! I'm gonna skip the small talk, good for you, man, because I'm high in watching hair and old stuff. Oh, that's what I'm doing tonight. That's amazing. That's exactly what I'm doing later. Hopefully it makes sense. I'm sure I'll read it a hundred times and get anxious

Starting point is 00:24:25 Make panic at it and come across as weird. LOL. Let's hope not feel free to condense. I'm obsessed already. I love you already My mother and I moved into her current home when I was 16 about 16 years ago. It was over Halloween weekend You didn't say it. Sorry. I've sped by it, but I did it again. I don't know. I'm crazy. Fuck what? Ra-ra. Oh, no. All right, so Halloween.

Starting point is 00:24:52 It was over Halloween weekend. So of course, we're watching ghost shows and the scariest places on Earth. Oh, I love that show. Oh, I can hear the old lady voice. She just said, her voice still gives me nightmares, LOL, although I loved Teen Witch. Same.

Starting point is 00:25:06 Is that the one? No. That's the one where they wrap in the middle. That is the one where they wrap in the middle. Oh yeah, you showed me that. That's it. Oh, thank you. The outfits.

Starting point is 00:25:15 Thank you for bringing me there. I appreciate it. Thank you so much for bringing me there. I love you. My mom loves true crime and ghost shows, but she hates scary movies and being scared. That's weird. If something happens in the house, she'll ignore the fuck out of it. That's weird.

Starting point is 00:25:28 I on the other hand eat, sleep, and shit, spooky. Same. Yes, my favorite movie as a tiny kid was Chuckie. That's a tiny kid. My last name is even spooky, LOL. It's at this point of the story that I'm sure my mom has realized this is about her house and it's now skipping to the next story. Hi mom! Hi mom! Hi mom! So our first weekend there was typical for a new house.

Starting point is 00:25:53 You know, like weird sounds and shadows. Basically new house shit. I'd be in my room, hear my mom call my name. I'd go to look for her, but she wouldn't be home. I would hear doors open and closed, but no one would be in the house. But you know, whatever. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

Starting point is 00:26:06 Good, good. As we settled, so did the spooky shit. There were a few times where we would pick up a phone and get the dial tone noise in my air, fuck landlines, fuck dial up, and fuck me for being so old. The same. But no one would be home and the internet was not on.

Starting point is 00:26:20 But whatever, right? A lot of internet was not on. I just want you to say that again. Because you know, you know, a few people out there listening are like, what do you lot of internet was not on. I just want you to say that again. Because you know, you know a few people out there listening are like, what do you mean the internet was not on? Your wife out of the house? Did you deal with like the dialogue? Did I?

Starting point is 00:26:34 Yeah. Only one deal for dialogue. Only one I hung out with you. Yeah, okay. So yeah, I was gonna say you didn't have to like, man. Everybody who's listening right now who dealt with dialogue can remember your specific computer room that you're comparing. I remember that computer room with you.

Starting point is 00:26:52 Mine was across the hall from my parents house. Nope. So it was just your parents' room. My parents house, my parents' room. It was in your parents' house. My parents' house. And you would get in that room after the time that you were supposed to be off that fucking computer.

Starting point is 00:27:04 Oh, everyone had a time that they were not supposed to be on the internet. Yes. And you would sneak your ass in there. Yup. You would shut that door. You would shove some towels under the bottom of that door. Yup. And then you would turn on that fucking crazy ass sound.

Starting point is 00:27:16 You would make the sound. You would make the sound. Sounds. And the whole time, you would just be sitting there being like, just connect, just connect, just connect, just connect, just connect, just shut up, connect connect it was like the noise used to scare me when I was little and it would Finally you hear that being noise that you connected and then your parents would come in and be like I heard that whole fucking thing You idiot Screeching from beyond and you're like dammit. There's that whole thing you fucking saw it feel that a lot.

Starting point is 00:27:53 But back to the story. So yeah, fuck me for being sold. But no one would be home in the internet was not on, but whatever, right? A lot of, but-a-whatever stuff happened. But there were a few things. My mom's house is an open floor plan. I was in the living room taking to a part, I was in the living room part talking to my stepdad who was in the computer room. The kitchen is in between us, on the kitchen counter laid a cookie sheet. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:16 As he speaking to me, I watched this cookie sheet go sailing across the kitchen, hit the wall, and fall. It didn't fall off the counter and bounce. It was basically flung. I went to tell my mom and she did not want to hear it. LOL, she turned the volume on the TV super loud. I can't screech out sack baggins when he gets scratched by a fucking demon, bro. Now, there's a tall way off of the kitchen by the computer room. Leads to the mudroom and the basement. We use the mudroom door as the main door. My mom was chopping things for dinner and my step-brother and I were standing in the opening

Starting point is 00:28:50 to the hallway talking door. My mom was in mid-sentence when my step-brother and I both heard our little brother say hi to our dog. We both turned to the door, looked at each other and back at the door. Step-brother was like, you heard that right? Him saying hi, right? He nods and adds to the dog. My mom's face was pale and confused. We explained what happened. We both heard our little brother say,

Starting point is 00:29:10 hi, Shiba. My mom's was like, nope, he doesn't get off the bus for 15 minutes. I don't believe you guys, blah blah, but we both swear it happened. Oh, that's so spooky. My stepbrother lived with us. His broom was the basement, and my room used to be a porch and she did like the eye up like a Rolls-eye roll. I was like eye up. I up the eye up emoji. Don't up your eyes at me. Don't you dare up your eyes at me. God damn. So her room used to be the porch that the previous owners converted to a room. That's cool. That is fun. That reminds me of the simple life. Okay. So the second my step-br brother moved in with some friends, my best friend and I jumped on the basement.

Starting point is 00:29:49 We cleaned that bitch up, shoveled up all the garbage, collected all the cans and bottles. We wore hazmat suits because my step brother and his friends were gross as boys, LOL. When we finally got the basement, as habitable enough for humans, We brought a bed and some boxes down there. 2am we hear a pop bottle fall. That distinct plastic hitting concrete sound. We turned on the lights but there was nothing on the ground. We returned all the cans and bottles the previous day. Next night my friend is over again and we're getting ready for bed. 3am. My CD radio alarm clock just starts blaring. Oh that would fuck me up.

Starting point is 00:30:25 We jump awake and I lunge at the noise as she turns on the light. The kicker, it's not plugged in. Ooh. It didn't even have batteries. I had to plug that, plug that bitch in and unplug it for it to stop. We didn't sleep downstairs that night.

Starting point is 00:30:38 No. She's like, you know what? We didn't sleep downstairs, then. You don't say. Not long after I moved, I ended up moving out and my step-brother moved back in and took the basement. So when I moved back, I got my porch room. You don't say. Not long after I moved, I ended up moving out and my step-brother moved back in and took the basement.

Starting point is 00:30:46 So when I moved back, I got my porch room. I was a mad. And now we're both moved out. My mom didn't, and now that we're both moved out, my mom doesn't use the basement. Flash to the past February, I had stopped by her house to see her. We were sitting in the dining room when we both heard something fall over in the basement. Then we heard something running. No. But we didn't hear it run up the stairs

Starting point is 00:31:07 and we didn't hear any doors open or close. Neither one of us went to investigate. We stayed seated. Ew. Good on you. Those are my little tales, although they might be not be super spooky a few things were.

Starting point is 00:31:19 Thanks for taking the time to read it. Mom, if you made it through this, then I'll buy you lunch. Love you guys, S. Coffin. PS, Sid didn't kill Nancy. Change my mind. LOL. I disagree. I'm confused.

Starting point is 00:31:34 Oh, I googled it. What? You did not know who Sid and Nancy were? I do now. Guys. I'm young. Guys, this is real life. Sid vicious. were? I do now. Guys, I'm young. Guys, this is real life. Sid vicious. This is real, wow.

Starting point is 00:31:49 The fact that you are reading this like Sid vicious. Holy shit. Holy shit, where my fellow old- No, no, I've heard of this before. I just need to read this. Oh good, you've heard of this before that you needed to refresh on the Sid and Nancy. Listen, I'm sorry that you remember dial up, but there's no reason to yell at me.

Starting point is 00:32:07 Please go to the next listener, Jill. Take us away from this place. Take me away. This one is called, My Mom was the True Exorcist all along. Whoa. All right. I thought mine was. I was going to say hello, my lovely weirdos.

Starting point is 00:32:22 My name is Keely pronounced like Kiwi, but with an L instead of W And yes, you can use my name. I love that name. Kiwi, that's cool. I'm a fairly new listener and I found you through crime countdown That nothing will ever stop blowing my mind like that's really fun. It's like fun, but like crazy like whoa, whoa Thanks, which I found from our lovely podcast research gods. We are so blessed. We are blessed. We are never stressed always blessed. Anyway, I love you. I almost just dropped my phone. I'm sorry. Okay. Anyway, I love you both so much I heard your first episode of Crime Countdown and fell in love with how you tell stories and aren't afraid to put your personalities into the episode. Aw, thanks. Thank you. They told us to do that. My man. After the first episode, I found morbid and have been diving into the deep end of our collective.

Starting point is 00:33:05 Am I good? Yeah, I read that. Yeah, you're good. Diving into the deep end of our collective need for strange on a daily basis ever since. I'm sure you both appreciated that sentence. I really did. I wish I had read it better, but I don't appreciate it. I read it in my head, so it was cool. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:18 When I got to the most recent listener tales, I knew I had to share my story of how my mother nearly gave me a heart attack at 14 because she thought she was so funny. Spoiler alert, 16 years later, it still isn't, uh, no wait, it is. Spoiler alert, 16 years later, it is funny, but I'm still mad at her about it, so don't tell her. I won't tell her. Picture it. Halloween. Whoa. You sound like you were like breathing into a paper bag. I'm David S. Popekins. That's who I felt like. Watch that.

Starting point is 00:33:55 Okay, it's Halloween 2014, middle of nowhere, Illinois. Oh. I just said that to Pussywap. It's a Illinois. And not like Chicago or any well populated area. This is like, well, we didn't get a stop, we didn't get a stoplight in town until 2010, kind of a little bit nowhere.

Starting point is 00:34:09 That's amazing. Anyway, I digress. My mom and I have always been huge horror movie fans. My dad doesn't get it. Whenever a new movie comes out, we're all over it. Well, this particular, how will be, I feel like there's gonna be a lot in here. I decided to stay home and watch an oldie,

Starting point is 00:34:24 but good knee, a good home and watch an oldie, but good knee, a good knee with an oldie, but good knee with mott and pops, the exorcist. I love your family. I do too. This is like goals. To my mother's dismay, I hadn't watched it in its entirety to this point,

Starting point is 00:34:37 because there were so many just decent horror movies at the time. Why bother with the old ones? And I was right. While the story was compelling, the effects ruined my immersion. My immersion! Said in the tone of a sniffly nerd, pushing my glasses up my nose by the bridge. My immersion! There you go. Anyway, after the movie, I expressed my mild displeasure of the dated effects. Mother, apparently, did not like my high-quality movie critique judgment of a film

Starting point is 00:35:04 that once terrified her. She asked me to go feed the dogs since it was passed in her at this point. I went to my room, got a sweatshirt, then went outside to feed Polly. Our German Shepherd mix that I named after Polly pockets. Oh my god. Oh my god. And then she wrote, do y'all remember Polly mother fucking pockets? Ash might not, but I'm sure I know Alina will.

Starting point is 00:35:23 Yes. Okay, sister, I do remember Pauli pockets, and I had the fucking little, like the whole fucking outdoor pool set where Pauli had a damn slide. That's right. So I remember Pauli pockets about to fight this girl. She's like, hi. Kili, I love you, I'm kidding.

Starting point is 00:35:40 Anyway, I digress me too. I had left a light out in my room, in my room. So I thought nothing of it when I came left a light out in my room, in my room, so I thought nothing of it when I came back inside and went to my well lit bedroom. What I wasn't expecting was the giant fucking clown doll, like the one in the movie, to be sitting in my bed staring straight at me. What the fuck?

Starting point is 00:35:56 Your mom's incredible. She's a legend. Now, before you think my mother is a some clever mastermind who thought of this way too far in advance, the doll was some kind of knitted monstrosity. My great-great-hunt made for me, for my baby shower back in 1990. It was my height at the time, so like, 5'3".

Starting point is 00:36:15 Holy shit, that's tall in the night. Yeah, that's horrifying. I was gonna say awful, and then I started saying horrifying, so I said, hoffle. That was truly awful. That was awful. It was real awfulffle. That was hoffle. It was real hoffle. It was stuffed. That's hoffle. It had a huge hat and a super punchable face. My mother always insisted I keep it, so I had it buried at the bottom of my

Starting point is 00:36:33 closet. My mother and all her infinite wisdom decided I was too harsh on one of her favorite horror movies. So after I went outside to feed the dog, she dashed to my rim, found the fucking punch clown beast and set it on my bed. So when I opened the cracked door, it would be looking right at me, looking right at me in my fucking horrified face. I screamed, I ran, I fell to the floor, I started to cry.

Starting point is 00:36:56 I could hear my mom in the living room laughing. Oh, I got your mom as a fucking head. Just as you in a few years. It's really is. My dad came and laid with me on the floor and comforted me while I cried. He said, I told her not to. And I like it say in response was, she is such a bitch.

Starting point is 00:37:12 Ha ha. Amazing. Now my dad, a trucker, and a farmer at heart, usually didn't tolerate me. Usually didn't tolerate such a language out of my 14 year old baby mouth. But for some reason, all the obvious reasons, but for some reason all the obvious reasons It's some reason the eyes this time he let it slide out and responded

Starting point is 00:37:31 I know honey what a moment rubbing my back what a family moment. I love your family mom is dying laughing I'm living you're crying on the floor I'm such a bitch and dad's like I know I told her not to. Now 16 years later, whenever I talk about horrific pranks with friends or family, it always gets brought up. I love my mom to the moon and back. Oh, but I have to forget her for nearly ruining

Starting point is 00:37:56 our relationship over the fucking exorcist. I mean, it's a great movie. I love it. That's all I've got for this one, ladies. Thank you. And as always, and usual, keep it weird. But that's where the E-Free The Shed out of your Teenage Shed out of your point of her crying and calling you a bad name and not being forgiven for it 16 years later. Bye! And then there's a follow-up email that says,

Starting point is 00:38:18 5am freak out realizing, I meant poltergeist, not the exorcist. Ugh, thank you. Because this entire time, I was like, when was there a clown in the air? Yeah. And then I was like, there's a clown in Poltergeist. That's what Keeley, clown in Poltergeist. Thank you, Keeley. I didn't even see that before, so I'm real glad you sent that.

Starting point is 00:38:36 There's like a whole curse around the exorcist and Poltergeist. Yeah, there is. That would be a fun episode. That would be a cursed movie. So maybe we'll do that one. I think I just had a really good idea on it. Maybe I'll just do that one. On the show live on the air. That would be a fun episode. That would. That would. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode.

Starting point is 00:38:46 That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode.

Starting point is 00:38:54 That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode.

Starting point is 00:39:02 That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would be a fun episode. That would I don't think it has anything to do with Halloween, but I'm gonna read it anyways, because this one's really funny.

Starting point is 00:39:05 Do it. Sorry, I just clicked my computer. Not funny, but like scary, and the way they write it's really funny. This one's called, actually thrown off the road by double worshipers. Brow what? I love that it just says,

Starting point is 00:39:15 Brow what? Hey, Weirdos, I love your podcast, and listen to it every single day. You guys are actual saints, and have helped me navigate my life during this shit storm of a year. Currently wearing my murderer apparel merch crew neck as I'm typing this. Yay. PS I'm a garbage ass person that hasn't taken it off in two days because it's that comfy, but I dug rest. Look at that. That's fine. I wear the same thing for like three days. Oh, yeah. We're all together.

Starting point is 00:39:39 I have one shirt that I wear all the time and every time I put it on I go out to Annie and I'm like, look at my new shirt. She's like, I'm wearing it after 60s So I'm sorry this is so long, but I promise you it's 100% worth it And if this ends up in an episode, I might actually shit myself Better change your pants. I hope you shot. I hope you shot Hold on to your mother fucking butt. No you then no you Get it because they're're going to shit. You do.

Starting point is 00:40:06 No you all that are about. The listener's tale I'm going to be telling you is one of the most terrifying and scariest nights of my life. Surprisingly, I have quite a few of these tales as I was a reckless hormonal and angsty teenager and clearly didn't think about my actions, but you'll know, or whatever, today's kids say, right? What do you do?

Starting point is 00:40:23 Today's kids say. And you back when I was 16, me and my eight friends were thickest thieves. We all had some pretty shitty and dark things happen to us during the years of our friendship and I made us closer than family. There was literally a rumor around our school that we were into a secret mafia culture

Starting point is 00:40:39 because of how we ride or die. How ride or die we were for each other, currently cringing at the use of that wording. That's what she said to me. I love it. Basically, what it came down to was, if one of us was in need, we were there no matter what. With the law, for instance, we all rehearsed alabas.

Starting point is 00:40:55 One of us was going to fight. We were all in that bitch ready to swing. You know, super casual high school shit, right? Jesus Lord, we were heathens. For this story, it's really important to understand just how close we were. Our friendship was based on truth, respect, and the way our childhood

Starting point is 00:41:11 and other experiences fucked us up. We didn't lie to one another, and the only time we did this, and the only time we did was if, and only if, everyone else agreed that it was to protect one of us. Wow, as I'm typing this, I'm starting to see why people thought we were in some kind of gang.

Starting point is 00:41:26 LMFIO. I think you were. I think you might have been. I don't know if you know it, but I think you might have been. But the sake of privacy, I'll be changing everyone's names. I live in the suburbs about an hour away from Chicago. And before you, oh wow, we're really getting with Chicago. I was going to say this became Chicago Halloween. Halloween?

Starting point is 00:41:44 Chicago. That's what it's Chicago. I was gonna say this became Chicago Halloween. All right. Halloween? Chicago. That's what it's about. I love it. And before you ask, yes, it's true. We do have the greatest pizza in the world and no one, and no, you never put ketchup on a hot dog. Fuck that.

Starting point is 00:41:57 I'm with you on that. You put mustard on a hot dog. You put both actually. Yeah, sometimes you do that. I thought, the way you were looking at me, I was like, oh, fuck. I feel like, oh, we're gonna fight. That would be insanity.

Starting point is 00:42:09 Anyway, the suburb that I live in has a bunch of country backroads. And yes, this is where this horrifying experience occurs. Of course it does. Out here, there's a famous house that everyone knows about. It's on a road called Johnson Road, and so the house is called the Johnson House. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:42:27 Way. Spook Spook, what a creative name. The road has literally no light posts and is a couple miles long. There are other homes on the road that people live in except the Johnson House. So let me go ahead and set the scene for this also famous home. It had a long uphill gravel driveway surrounded by brush and trees that was super hidden from the road. That's right, this spooky-ass house was on top of a fucking hill. I cannot make this shit up, so when you drive up this hill, you don't see the house until your damn nail

Starting point is 00:42:55 or near at the front door. It was old and decrepit. Every single window had been broken out from years of vandalism and the siding was damn near-pailed off, so it was all just wood framing. A pure country-horror fixer opera for sure. So one night, at 1am, me and my four friends from our group decide to go on a late-night country cruise while the others were hanging out with their boyfriends. You know, drive around, listen to absolute bangers, like every time we touch by a cascada. Every time we touch, I get this breathing. You knew that was happening. In all the other 90s to 2000s goodies,

Starting point is 00:43:28 smoked some weed and waste a fuck ton of our $6 per gallon gas. $6 a gallon? Oh honey, you don't even know. $6 a gallon. You don't even know. That happened? That happened. What the fuck?

Starting point is 00:43:43 We used to scrounge up change at the bottom of our car to pay for gas. It was six dollars a gallon. And we could do that and it would last us all night. Wow. Like we would literally look under the seats, find quarters and nickels and dimes and be like, cool, we can get a couple gallons and boom.

Starting point is 00:44:01 That's nuts. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. She also wrote, thank you recession. Jane was driving her old-ass car gallons and boom. That's nuts. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. She also wrote, thank you recession. Jane was driving her old-ass car that broke down regularly and had the baldest tires I'd ever seen in my life. Tori was in the passenger seat and me, Claire and Bonnie were in the back.

Starting point is 00:44:17 We had obviously all heard stories of this super, super scary house and decided it was a marvelous idea to go up there and smoke. Truly thriving, cue-face-pom-am-o-chi. So when we get into the road and go about a half mile down, we turn down the volume of our jam session and flash the brights to see. We see the beginning of the gravel driveway and turn in. We get about halfway up the driveway until we're no longer seen by the road, turn off the lights and park.

Starting point is 00:44:42 To be honest, we really only went there to smoke where no one else could see us and to be a little creeped out while we did so. Don't ask me why the hell we thought this would be a good idea. I still don't really have an answer to how stupid we used to be. So there we were, getting ready to enjoy the devil's lettuce when we see a pair of lights pop up from the top of the hill. Not just any lights, a pair of headlights. Obviously we start to panic, thinking it's the police and we're about to get arrested for a tiny nugget of weed that we hadn't even got to smoke. This was before this year when it came to legal. No legal. Oh, I'm sorry legal. Jane turns her headlights back on, which we were all super pissed about. Again, we thought we were about to get arrested. So obviously we didn't want to, we didn't want whatever kind of car to see we were there. We just wanted to dip out casually and leave.

Starting point is 00:45:29 So what ended up happening was way worse. The headlights at the top of the hill turn off, immediately followed by the turning on the car's brights. The vehicle revs its engine, and it's then that we realize this isn't just a car, it's a massive ass truck. The truck starts barreling down the driveway, heading straight towards our car. Oh my God. Jane throws the car in reverse, but her goddamn tires were so bald

Starting point is 00:45:52 that they didn't pick up any traction on the gravel. Somehow, we finally caught traction and got the hell out of the driveway right before the truck would have hit us. When we get back into the road and look behind us, the giant ass fucking truck is speeding like hell to catch up to us. And when it finally does, it smashes into our bumper. At this point, we can't see who's driving because this douche-nausal brights are in our

Starting point is 00:46:15 faces and we are full-blown peddled to metal. We blew through four different one-way stop signs just trying to lose this truck, but it was on our ass. If you have ever driven on a country road, you would know how dangerous blowing a single stop sign is. The miles per hour on these roads go up to 70 miles per hour. And if you're in the wrong place in the wrong time, you get creamed blowing that stop sign.

Starting point is 00:46:36 Oh, that's so scary. Before we knew it, the truck was next to us in the oncoming traffic lane, side-swiping and pushing us off the road into a ditch. A mother fucking ditch. I still have no idea how or why, but by some grace of God, this little trash bag of a car went straight into the ditch, and as fast as we flew in, we hit a bump on the ground and flew right out. Holy shit. Wow. By now, the back bumpers scraping on the ground, the driver's side mirror has been completely torn off

Starting point is 00:47:06 and we were dialing 911. Oh my God. Why didn't you call as soon as you had, they hit the bumper, you ask? Oh, maybe that's because there was no cell reception. I didn't even think of why they didn't choose that. Like straight out of some scary ass film. We finally start to see our town's lights

Starting point is 00:47:19 and go straight to the police station, still no cell service. As soon as we hit the town's limits where there was a subdivision we turn in. If anything to take a shortcut to the police station, still no cell service, as soon as we hit the town's limits where there was a subdivision we turned in. If anything to take a shortcut to the police station, the truck follows us. It makes a U turn to start heading back to where we just had our death drive, but stops underneath one of the street lamps. We start slowing down and looking behind us to try and see who the fuck just tried to ram us off the road. Three men get out of the truck.

Starting point is 00:47:45 Oh my god. I'm really stressed out. I know. I wish I had a hoodie on. Fully covered in black pants and hoodies, and you could clearly see their hands and shoes were covered in something bright red. They did some weird huddle. What?

Starting point is 00:47:58 Glance up at us and get back in the truck and start driving away like nothing had happened. We noticed there was no license plates and we were... ...FLOORED. We went straight to the police station, filed a report, and they took our statements, but there wasn't much they could do because of the jurisdiction, and we basically had nothing to go off of. That's when the police told us that no one had lived in that house for the past 20 years. Due to the fact that a man had murdered

Starting point is 00:48:25 his entire family and then shot himself out of it. Shut the fuck up! The car was basically totalled and got sent to a junkyard. It was well passed this expiration date anyway. A few days went by and Jane was pissed. She didn't have a car anymore. Like I said before, we were some badass signatures. So when one of us was pissed, we were all pissed.

Starting point is 00:48:44 So what do you think would be the smart idea? To go back to that hellhole of a house during the day and cuss out the motherfuckers who destroyed a car? No! No, no, no, bad idea. Bad idea. I'm telling you, we were wild and dumb as shit for that matter. You were.

Starting point is 00:48:57 You definitely were. You sure were. We got baseball bats, hammers, and pepper spray, and we're ready. Like, brah. What the fuck were we thinking? So we get to that house at like 1 p.m. when the sun is shining. Driver asses up this long ass driveway in two different vehicles, and all eight of us

Starting point is 00:49:13 girls get ready to fuck some shit up. That's honestly incredible. It really is incredible. But when we get there, it's silent. Like overly silent. We've start walking towards the side of the house and notice some strange things. For bright red empty gallons of paint, we see that the door to the house doesn't even exist

Starting point is 00:49:30 and walk in. We split up into two, four person groups and start walking around. When I tell you this house is scary, it's an understatement. There's peeling stained wallpaper, random toys and dolls and nasty garbage everywhere. From the other room we hear Jane say, you guys get in here. And we all come rushing in.

Starting point is 00:49:48 It was then that we see giant fucking devil signs and symbols painted all over the walls. Every single one of us booked it to fuck out of there and never looked back. That's right, we nooped right the fuck out of there. We got back to Tori's house, we went straight inside and grabbed some wine because duh. After we calmed down and got a good buzz, we went back to the cars to unload the bats and other random ass wannabe weapons that we had brought in all the way we all froze. Our on both car bumpers were bright red strokes of paint. Whoever painted that shit on the walls in that house had been outside watching us the whole fucking time and we had never seen them. To this day I can't explain why those men chased us or what the hell was written on those walls, but from then on everything just seemed different. Some girls started lying to each other,

Starting point is 00:50:36 others started resenting each other for basically no reason, and everything throughout the years our friendships all started to fade away. I only keep in contact with two of the girls now. A few of the others moved away and have families, and one got sucked into drugs and sex work in the city. Oh, no. The spookyest part of the story? That house was set on fire a few years after on Halloween. There it is.

Starting point is 00:51:00 There it is. There it is. That's how it got in there on Halloween night, and nothing was left of it. Oh no, that's not the spookiest part. The spookiest part is that when our town's local news page, the patch uploaded the article. We have a patch too.

Starting point is 00:51:12 In posted pictures of the fire, you can clearly see a fucking skull face in the motherfucking flames. And yes, I linked the post and the photo where I circled the face. No, so that's my listener tale. Sorry again for the length and horrible writing skills I've circled the face. No, so, that's my listener tale. Sorry again for the length and horrible writing skills I haven't looked at yet. Love you guys and keep it weird, but that's a weird idea.

Starting point is 00:51:31 You're into some crazy Satanic shit where a man murdered his entire family and killed himself and tried to run into a group of girls off the road in a big ass track and watched them when they come back to fuck you up and paint on their cars to scare the shit out of them and burn the house up down a few years later. All right, number one, you did like a really good job. But number two, I was just staring at the photo the entire time you did that my entire fucking body is covered in fucking goosebumps And I need to see this I'm freaked the fuck I'm looking right now. She circled it. It's insane hold on because I've never seen anything like that It's insane. I'm upset. I'm looking destroyed needing, um, hey Arnold in my life right now. I need my hair and all, it won't download on my thing.

Starting point is 00:52:06 Do you want me to hold it up too? Oh wait here it is. I see it. Good timing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

Starting point is 00:52:16 Yeah I like stopped looking at it. I looked at it too long I feel. Oh and it looks perturbed. It does. I'm gonna go home and sage myself after looking at that. Oh that's, it looks like it's like, maa. Um, okay.

Starting point is 00:52:28 It looks like it's one way to interpret that. Maa. I think it's going, maa. Daa. That's what it's saying. No, get it. Maa. Daa.

Starting point is 00:52:40 Do you get it? Do you get it? Thank you. Thank you for cleaning. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you want me to. So thank you so much. Ooh, but holy shit, what a wildred. That's so nuts. What a truly wildred. So they were in there watching them the entire time.

Starting point is 00:53:11 And then painted red on there. So they were all red from painting all that shit inside the house. And then cut, saw them, chased them down, ran them off the road. Wow. Then suddenly we're like, I think that's enough. I think that's enough. I think our work is done for tonight. My little hud Then suddenly we're like, I think that's enough. I think that's enough.

Starting point is 00:53:25 I think our work is done for tonight. My little huddle, we're like, good work, good work. I think they saw how resilient you were and they were like, well, they were like, well, those are bad ass bitches, so we should move on. Wow. And then you're in the house and they're watching your ass the whole time and then paint on your bumpers.

Starting point is 00:53:41 Yeah, that's, wait, so that's a real, that's weird flex. Weird flex, not okay. Not okay. Did they paint the bumpers and you just that's, wait, so that's a real, that's weird flex. Weird flex, not okay. Not okay. Did they paint the bumpers and you just like didn't see them there? No, they literally, while they were in the house looking at all this shit, those dudes were outside watching them do this and then just like swiped paint on the back of their bumpers so that they knew they were watching them. Okay, I get it now. Wow. I was lost a lot. I just haven't a moment. I know. I know what it is. She's just, uh, it's the end of the week. I thought they, I thought she was saying they were watching them the whole time.

Starting point is 00:54:13 The first time they went there. Now I really know that I'm dumb. It was the second time. Yeah, they were watching the whole time. They went back. That's right. And they swiped like red paint on their bumpers to be like, hey, we're watching you. That's so much scary. That could be a really good movie. It really could. And they swiped red paint on their bumpers to be like, hey, we were watching you. That's so, so much scarier. That could be a really good movie. It really could. And also, why do they just let you go after that? You know what?

Starting point is 00:54:32 I claim the rights to this story for a movie. I don't know if that's how that works. I declare big crepes. I knew you were gonna say that. I literally knew it. So this is mine now. Thank you for that. So I'm gonna take that. I'm gonna say that. I literally knew it. So this is mine now. Thank you for that. So I'm gonna take that. I'm gonna take that. Wow. All right. This one is called,

Starting point is 00:54:51 Let's not use sacrificial virgin blood on Ouija boards. Don't do it. Let's not. Don't do it. Hey girls, hi from Toronto. Firstly, I'd like to say I absolutely love, love, love your podcast. I listen to it all the time at work and get weird looks when I laugh to myself since we're not supposed to have earphones in. And nobody knows why the fuck I'm always wearing the blue hat. That's amazing. And also Canada.

Starting point is 00:55:11 Yes. Canada. AirPods backwards and use your hair to cover it, best trick ever, I swear. Oh, that is really, that is really smart. I don't have a phone for you. Anyway, I find you guys a little more than a month ago and I've listened to every single episode.

Starting point is 00:55:25 I'm actually 23, too, and a Capricorn, too. So it's like both of us. It's both of us mashed together. So loved that connection so much. Please come visit Toronto soon. I'd love to see a show. I even got my mom hooked on your podcast. If you guys read this on your podcast,

Starting point is 00:55:39 a little shout out to my sage wielding bad bitch of a mom who got rid of a demon for me. Love this. There's so many cool moms here. I know, that's incredible. Also, it just occurred to me that I'm not 23. I'm 24 now. Oh, you're not. I literally just forgot how old I was. He definitely is. Well, anyways, let me explain this from the beginning.

Starting point is 00:55:56 I was 16. Picture Super Inx DC Girl. Oh, I always wanted to be a super inx DC Girl. Who didn't? Never worked for me. I was never someone who believed in ghosts, let alone demons. I went to demons. Diamonds. I went to church every Sunday and I believed in God. My house smells... smells more like a church does because I'm pretty sure there's incense

Starting point is 00:56:15 in every crevice of wood in my home at this point. And I also have a mother who is sensitive to that stuff, but I called bullshit when I was young because the idea of demons, diamonds, diamonds. And ghosts just never sat right with me. to that stuff, but I called Bullshit when I was young because the idea of Damon's diamonds diamonds. And Ghost just never sat right with me, and in my true capricorn fashion I need to see those red-eyed dark shadows straight from the vows of hell, motherfuckers before I believe in them.

Starting point is 00:56:35 I feel you. And girls, see one I did. Oh. She saw a diamond. She saw a diamond. Ha! Hold on to your butts because this one, this is when nasty ride and it all starts with the best friend I have to this day. Oh no, no, no. A best friend I to this day wish I never met.

Starting point is 00:56:52 Oh, Fook. Oh. I'm going to name this crazy friend Gruchin because I hate her in the name almost as much as I despise this girl. Wow, Gruchin weeners. I watch out. Just gonna say. And none for Gruchin weeners, bye. That's why her hair is so big. It's full of demons. It's full of diamonds. Gretchen was one of those people who was really into the spirit realm, but honestly, oh, excuse me,

Starting point is 00:57:13 and honestly, if anyone dabbles in that girl, you do you, if it doesn't hurt anyone who cares. This girl, not so much. Her and her family fucked around with Ouija boards all the time and had to move out of not one but two houses. What the shit apparently went fucking bonkers on their house on a day-to-day basis. Damn. So here's where I get sucked into her, uh, into her, I think I'm a witch, so I'm going to mess with shit I don't understand because my parents are clearly terrible influences, but it's okay because I watched the craft one time and I'm totally an expert on I had to go some demons bullshit. Uh-oh. I feel like that was awesome. I was just gonna say I feel personally attacked. I feel like we were those friends to so many. Oh shit. Somebody that I used to be friends with

Starting point is 00:57:54 is listening to this right now like that. That reminds me of you, Ashley. Fuck my grudge. Shit. Halloween. Night 2014. in mind, I found this all out after. Gretchen and her family decided it was a great fucking idea to play with the Ouija board. And even better, and even better psychotic idea is that they cut her hand and used virgin putt on the board. Watch! Feel like her parents need to talk to someone. I feel like that's some bullshit.

Starting point is 00:58:24 I feel like that's not all right. Maybe don't do that. You did not read that wrong. They cut the hand of their own daughter. Thank you. So it could bleed on the Ouija board as some virgin blood. Yeah, that's a lot. Excuse me, virgin sacrificial blood.

Starting point is 00:58:37 I cannot make this shit up. You know what would've been so fucking funny? And this is just like me being a dick. What if she was like, I'm not a virgin and they really got mad. Oh, and then they were like, you're grounded. Get out of here. And that was the end of the Weija board session.

Starting point is 00:58:48 That was it. Also to anyone listening, don't be, don't. Just don't be stupid. Put the board away. Jan, the ghost can't tell you if kind of likes you. It's true. They can't. I'm fucking always posting that.

Starting point is 00:59:02 I always wondered that too. Anyway, back to the story. This wanna be which comes into my house the next day, first leap over, and my cat is going bonkers, which she never does. But when I say bonkers, I mean, I mean, meow screaming and running up and down the stairs in a senseless, senseless panic type bonkers. Damn. I of course just brush it off, cats being cats. I don't know. I've never seen my cat do that. You know, cats be cats. Cats be cat.

Starting point is 00:59:27 She sleeps over. Nothing happens. She goes home and that's when stuff went south real quick. Oh no, she left her badness at your place. She left out Daemon. She left us. She left her Daemon at your house. That's so good.

Starting point is 00:59:41 For the next week, my family is at each other's throats, arguing over stupid stuff, screaming, and honestly just being downright terrible to each other. Oh, you know, that happens. This is something that honestly never happened though. Oh, okay. I didn't even know that's what the next thing in life happened. This honestly never happens.

Starting point is 01:00:00 I can't. Well, shit. Okay, because we've always been a close family, and it was such vicious arguing. Oh, I'm sorry. It's exciting. Well, all this is going on. My cats and birds are going, that shit crazy too.

Starting point is 01:00:12 My mother at the end of the week just comes into my room at night and says, your friend brought something into the house. It's your fucking bitch ass friend. Left her dang. It also Kyle doesn't like you. The demon told me, right Jan and my teenage dumbass says my dumbass teenage teenage teenage dumbass was like all right

Starting point is 01:00:33 there Glenda ooh go so scary and I remember she just looked at me like oh yeah bitch oh yeah bitch okay she just says don't come to me if something happens. And walks out of my room. Ooh, she dropped a mom bomb. Mom bomb. She was like, okay, a little girl. Okay, a little bitch. Thank you so big and tough. Don't come to me if something happens.

Starting point is 01:00:55 You little bitch ass bitch. You know, mom shits. Me as a mother. You little bitch ass bitch. I honestly don't think. Okay, I ass bitch. I honestly don't think. Okay, I'm okay. I honestly didn't think anything of it until the next night, 3 a.m. I woke up in a panic

Starting point is 01:01:13 and I saw these massive spiders crawling down towards my head from the ceiling and I automatically thought I was dealing with the sleep paralysis. She didn't say the sleep paralysis. I thought I was dealing with the sleep paralysis. With sleep paralysis. But I could wiggle my fingers and toes, so that was big nope.

Starting point is 01:01:30 When I realized I could move, I real quick rolled to get out of my bed. And the moment I rolled to my right to get to my feet on, to get my feet on the ground, there was a face in front of mine. Mouth wide fucking open. Eyes red, crouched so its face could be next to mine. Oh, and not moving. When I tell you I lost my shit, I lost my mother fucking shit. I just lost my shit for you. My shit's gone. My shit just ran out the door. My shit moved to Illinois. I started screaming

Starting point is 01:01:59 bloody Mary. I called God Himself on speed dial. On speed dial prayer in that moment. I would do the same thing. I legit thought I was gonna die. Honestly blessed my parents. They came barreling in like some half asleep nights ready to kill whatever it was. The second the light was on any good parent is a half asleep night in the middle of the night. Honestly, I've I've seen it. I've seen it. And the second the light was on, of course, the spiders and the diamond that was gone. At that point, I was sobbing and telling my mother, I would be the best child in the world as long as she got rid of it so soon. My dad just picked me up, brought me into their room and let me sleep at the end of their bed.

Starting point is 01:02:36 But before we all fell asleep, my dad started complaining about his leg. He lifted his sweat pants up. Oh my God. And I shit you not on his leg was what looked like three scratch marks running down the outside of his calf. That is a Damon. That is a straight up Damon because they only have three fingers.

Starting point is 01:02:51 They do always. I known it. I know when it. I lost my mind and my mom went warrior, bad bitch in that moment because it's the one, because it's one thing to scare her dumb ass teenage daughter that probably deserved a good scare. It's an entirely different playing field when you touch her man.

Starting point is 01:03:07 Yes. This cunt. Cunt. This cunt. She wrote Irish accent. Irish accent here. Ran down the stairs, lit incense and smudging the entire house top to bottom, threatening this thing to get the fuck out of her house and straight back to where it came from.

Starting point is 01:03:24 Amazing. I am not joking when I say the air in that moment got 50 times lighter. It was nuts. Everything seemed to just be okay in that moment. I have no idea to this day what the hell happened. I can say three things for sure though. One took me two weeks to go back to my room to sleep alone. I felt safer with my dad, a bat, and an incense, and sage wielding bad ass in the same room.

Starting point is 01:03:46 Yep. Two, when I told Gretchen everything that happened, she finally told me what she did on Halloween and didn't see why on Earth I'd be so upset with her and told me I was being a- I was just being dramatic because she was used to it and it wasn't so bad. Oh, Gretchen. Can we see why I'm not friends with the crazy lady? Yeah, no more Gretchen. When demons are not bad, three, I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever touch a

Starting point is 01:04:10 Ouija board. And I will never second guess the existence of things I can't see. Leopardcons, you betcha. Fairy's abs of Huckabooly. Ghosty uppers, demons, hell yeah, pun intended. Santa Claus, ho ho, happy to agree. I don't care what it is. Just keep it away for me as long as I live.

Starting point is 01:04:26 That was my favorite. I got the creeps right. That's awesome. I got the creeps writing that all down, and it's 4 a.m., so I guess I won't be sleeping tonight. I'm so sorry this is so long and rambly. I really hope you guys enjoyed that little crazy bit of my life.

Starting point is 01:04:40 I still sleep with some sort of night light in my room, or light in my room at 23, so I think it may have messed me up a little bit, but yeah, it's okay Makes a good story for my non-existent kids when I want to make sure that the little tyrants never touch a Ouija board hell Yeah, can you banish your own kids from your house if they do? I mean, I'm gonna I honestly I'm gonna use your story to ban a Ouija board in my house I always think about that I always think about having kids and their dumb little asses bringing a fucking Ouija board in my house. I always think about that. I always think about having kids and their dumb little asses bringing a fucking Ouija board into my house.

Starting point is 01:05:07 I'm just gonna tell them this story. I'd be like, you don't pay the mortgage, so. Well, you know what, Laila, I'm really thanking you for this story because I'm gonna use it. It's from stealing it. I'm stealing another story. She says, I feel like that should be the law.

Starting point is 01:05:18 Also, you're a stealer. I am. Anyway, thank you so much for being amazing. Morgan and hilarious people. You make my day so much better by just existing Wow, I got a better to make this thing have a wonderful weird have a wonderful week Keep safe and keep it weird but not so where the use we do board and Halloween night wear your pants Use your blood as a fact as a virgin sacrifice because you think you're a witch and you need to move out of two houses

Starting point is 01:05:39 And you bring a straight a demon and you bring a straight from hell red-eyed crouching weird ass demon to your best friends house And have no idea why she would be so mad that you brought an actual demon into her house and fucked her up for the rest of her young adulthood, not that weird. Not that weird. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Starting point is 01:05:54 Laila. Laila. I'm so glad you dumped Gretchen. Gretchen, she was fucking dumb. That was way in and of the way. Gretchen sounded like chill, but like not chill. She sounded not chill. But she sounded so chill and she was like, I'm just used to it.

Starting point is 01:06:08 But it's like, you're used to it, but don't bring it into other people's houses. I know, I wonder, like, how did she do it on purpose? I think she just came in there. She let that little diamond just jump off her bed. How do you get it off of you? How do you say like this? This seems like a good place for you.

Starting point is 01:06:25 She became his, she became his fucking demon realtor. She did. She showed him some houses. She's like, do you see that this has a lovely view? She's like Northern part of this. She's three and a half baths. Full fucking backyard, Damon. There's hardwood floors in here, Damon.

Starting point is 01:06:43 Do you see it? They're a little creaky. That's right. It's just, it just adds to the character of the home. See that? There's pocket doors. You don't see that in every house Damon. Oh!

Starting point is 01:06:52 Two shower heads in the bathroom. Oh, the closet space. Oh, California King comes with the house. And you could make this in office Damon. And he was like, sold. Appliances included. Sold. And he stayed. And no, he was like, sold. Appliances included. Sold. And he stayed.

Starting point is 01:07:06 And no, he was like, sold. I'll stay. That's what he did. And then he said, he put his three fingers up. And he went, yep, five. So, no, three. I three.

Starting point is 01:07:22 Garsh. Garsh. Garsh. Oh, guys, we hope you enjoyed this installment of Halloween. Halloween. This is our tails. Because we managed to get Halloween to every single one of those. I think that this might have been the most ridiculous.

Starting point is 01:07:40 Think it was. Listener tails of all time. So you know what, guys? Hi three to all of you out there. Hi three. Hi three. We did it together. Listener Tales of All Time. So you know what guys? High three to all of you out there. You know. High three. High three. We did it together.

Starting point is 01:07:48 We got through it. Thank you so much for your listener Tales. They are truly extraordinary. You never disappoint. Never. I never laugh as hard as when I read your fucking listener Tales. I don't need their. Sometimes I'm gonna learn how to read again,

Starting point is 01:08:01 so that they're better. I'm actually teaching the girls phonics right now. So maybe I'll refresh my memory along the way. As she'll hook herself back onto phonics and we'll get through. I think I need a new fucking prescription. Gloss, you do. Glass, glasses.

Starting point is 01:08:15 New, I need new, I can't even talk words. I need new prescription glass. So we'll get through that. And yeah, so make sure you keep an eye out for that. Add free bonus random episode next week about how we bow in about so in or Sam Haynes, some people call it some of you call it.

Starting point is 01:08:39 If you fucking people who are wrong, you're gonna let you in on something. I'm one of those people. Tell them three hours ago. people until about three hours ago. You know the entire time you were saying Sam Hain, I thought it was just like a kid that died. There you go. Okay so that's where we are. So look out for that and also two other episodes next week. One that has been highly requested and it's highly fucked up and it's highly disturbing. So get ready for that and we love you guys. Thanks. In the meantime, you can follow us on Instagram at morbid podcast.

Starting point is 01:09:15 Hit us up on Twitter at a morbid podcast. Send us a Gmail morbid podcast at gmail.com and make sure that you're going to be really fucking fresh to death. This Halloween, Halloween and shop at shop.morbidpodcast.com where you can get a bunch of fucking great fucking merch fuck fuck thank you we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird a lane of robo robo remix but not so weird that you get run off the road by a truck sataness and then they watch you and they put red paint on your bumpers for no reason

Starting point is 01:09:47 and then you're a lady named Gretchen and you come over your best friend's house and you leave a diamond there because you put some sacrificial version in blood on a Ouija board with your family because you guys are weird. And don't live in a sorority house with a guy named Shackleford

Starting point is 01:09:58 who's gonna brand your booty within us. Your booty? Not your booty? Don't live in a haunted house and don't acknowledge that it's a haunted house with all the shit, like a cookie sheet flying off the thing. And somebody's saying hi, Shiba.

Starting point is 01:10:09 And everybody's like, I didn't hear that. I don't know what's going on. This is a haunted. And also, don't, what? No, I was just, I'm just, I don't fuck up my gym, man. I'm off my group. I'm off my group. Also, don't actually totally be one of those moms

Starting point is 01:10:23 that puts a fake clown on your teenage kids bed after you watch the Pulitzer Guys because they made fun of the special effects because those effects are awesome to the say. It's like a perfect haunted movie, so don't fuck with that. And also, don't wake up your fiance with ASMR being like, someone's in the house. Don't be that weirdy. Don't be that weird. Don't.

Starting point is 01:10:42 That was really good. I'm so proud of you. I don't know if you yours this way, but. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to Morvid, Early, and Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.

Starting point is 01:11:19 a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.

Morbid - Listener Tales 19

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