Morbid - The Jersey Devil Ft Jodie Sweetin

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Among the Pine Barrens of New Jersey (a sprawling forest ecosystem in southern New Jersey), it is said there lives an elusive creature that has haunted and delighted the residents of New Jersey and northern Pennsylvania for centuries. The Jersey Devil (sometimes referred to as the Leeds Devil) is variously described as having the features of everything from a dog and horse to a kangaroo and even the devil himself, with sightings coming in waves throughout history, including a large spike in 1909. Join us as we talk with Jodie Sweetin all about this elusive creature. And check out Jodie's new podcast: How Rude, Tanneritos! How Rude, TanneritosThank you to the fantastic David White for research assistance!ReferencesAtlantic City Daily Press. 1909. "Superstition abroad." Atlantic City Daily Press, January 25: 4.Jersey City News. 1899. "Jersey sees a devil." Jersey City News, July 29: 7.McCloy, James F. 1976. The Jersey Devil. Wallingford, PA: Middle Atlantic Press.Morning Call. 1909. "Jersey Devil vampire bat." Morning Call, January 22: 1.Morning Post. 1905. "Story of the Leeds Devil." Morning Post, May 2: 5.Pinelands Preservation Society. n.a. The Jersey Devil and Folklore. Accessed July 17, 2023. https://pinelandsalliance.org/learn-about-the-pinelands/pinelands-history-and-culture/the-jersey-devil-and-folklore/.Trenton Evening Times. 1909. "'Flying Hoof' leaves proofs of visit here." Trenton Evening Times, January 21: 1. Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash. And I'm Elena. And this is Morbid. I'm not going to sing in this intro, because I feel like I sing a lot of intros in. So I won't do that to you this week. Hey, you know, you do you. Thank you. There it is. That's totally kidding. So I think before we start an Ash-centric episode, hello there. Hello. We just have a couple of things we wanted to mention. One being that Hall-week is coming up. Oh my God, I'm literally so hard. excited. Guys, it's going to be so much fun. We're doing shows for Australia, Europe and North America, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Yeah. Of the week, what are the dates? The week leading up to Halloween. The week leading up to Halloween. We put a link for tickets in our bio on Instagram. Yes. Or you can find tickets at where?

On location live.com slash morbid world tour. Yay. So make sure you go there, get some tickets. We're doing meet and greets, like a virtual little meet and greet. We sure are, and it's going to be a lot of fun. There's a poster. There's a poster. There's a really cool poster. Yeah. And we're going to theme it for every, like the specific region that we're targeting. So an Australian case each, a European case each, and a North American case each. And each show is going to have a different costume. That's right. That are doing three costumes each. They're like kind of relating to your places, but not actually. But not really. One of them really does. Very loosely for two of them, but one of them definitely. Like hardcore.

So make sure you're looking out for that. Also, make sure you, if you haven't yet, go check out our podcast show that Ash and I host called Crime Countdown. It's top 10 lists of all kinds of cool things like stolen body parts, you know, craziest serial killers from the 70s. It can really get you in the Halloween mood. It really can. And it's like a good little, like, it's quicker.

You know, it's like quick like 30 minutes and stuff. So it's like a digestible little list. Yeah. You know, you need your true crime fix. And if you don't want to start an episode and be in the middle of it, like a morbid episode, if you're running to the grocery store, I feel like crime countdown is like the perfect thing to put on. It really is.

If you're running out for an errand, it's perfect or like cleaning. And I mention this because our Halloween episodes are going to be a lot of fun. There's some really cool categories that we're doing. So I think everybody will dig it. Definitely go give it a look so that we can keep doing it forever because it's so fun and we love park. And I never want to stop. And then the last thing I just want to do.

wanted to ask everybody, and this is not like business. This is just me wanting to be like, hello, everybody, let's chat. Yeah, you briefly brought this up to me and then I was like, wait, wait, let's do it on the air. Yes, because this has been bothering me for days. Okay. So there, Ash, I will give her full credit, has introduced me to the world of TikTok. You're welcome. I'm now obsessed and I can't stop watching. You know what it is? Younger millennials need to help out the older millennials. Yeah, you need to shirp us into the TikTok world. And you did. Yeah. And I got, we also got John into it, which is unbelievable because John is literally Ron Swanson. So the fact that he's into it is huge. I never thought that would happen. But so we'll be, so somebody, and I don't remember who, so if it was you definitely like tell me and bang me over the head with this information. Yeah. Somebody tagged me or sent me a message and was like, have you seen this weird TikTok account that showed up a couple of weeks ago? And it's called you shouldn't be looking. And I just looked for it because I was going to show Ash.

Now, I looked at this last night. And I'm mad. There was probably like 12 videos. And they have 115.3,000 followers. Yeah, one million likes. Wow. And I went to show her and it's scrubbed clean. Yeah, there's no videos whatsoever.

It's still there, but it says no content. So we were in the middle. This is like how far we got in the conversation. And then I was like, well, what was on? Yeah. Like, what were the videos? And then I was like, wait, let's. do this as we're recording. So again, it's called at you shouldn't be looking. Right. I don't want to.

But now I do. The name is you shouldn't see. Yeah. And they were these short videos that were just shit like somebody filming in the pitch black down a weird dirt road in the middle of the night. But like were they saying anything? No, nothing. So then it would just shut off. And then there was another one that was a, and you see this person's hands. It's definitely a man. And it looks to be an older man, like middle-aged man. And he's got cuts all over his hands and his arms. And dirty fingernails, because he was just digging a fucking grave. And when I say cuts all over his, like the tops of his hands and his arms, it looks like a cat literally demolished his arms and his hands. And I don't know if it was self-harm scars or what, but there was a lot of them. They were very

obvious, very, like, alarming. Were they scars or were they like fresh cuts? Okay. And he, one video is him with a suitcase and he's, all you see is the suitcase and there's like dark fluid leaking out of a suitcase. And he would play these like old-timey music over some of them. Like jolly music. Yeah, like jolly music. Like, um, I'd like, and of course I can't remember. No, it's okay. If I asked John, because he was like, wow, the music. I showed John last night. He was like, the music choices are really doing it for me. I love that that's when he got out of it. He was like, this is really creepy.

He's like, that's probably human blood. Wow, what a great song. He's like, this is a jaunty tune that he's playing over it. Oh, fuck. And then there's another one where it's like night vision and he's covering up something with leaves, but you can't really tell what's going on. What the fuck? There's no speaking in it whatsoever.

And they're quick, they're weird. There's another one where he is throwing that same suitcase over a weird bridge in the middle of the night. Oh. And yeah, and there's like fluid leaking out of it all over the bridge that looks to be. Okay, wait. And you see his feet briefly, and he has covered his feet in plastic. Okay, that's fucked up. And now I have a theory. And I'm a fucked up individual for this being my theory. What if he like, like videos a series, like his murder, like he like murdered somebody and now he's like cleaning up? What if that was one person's murder and now it's wiped clean and he's and he's and do a whole another series of videos with another person. Honestly, here's the thing, because

it's like, there's that and then there's these weird videos of him, like, in a weird room and a house, and you can't really see it. It's very weird and very, like, abstract. But, like, what is he doing in the room? Nothing. You just see him, like, filming, like, a window up in, like, an attic, and then it's just cuts off. What the fuck? And then there's another one where you see this desk that he's sitting at, and he's flipping through this, like, notebook where, and it's, like, this weird TikTok sound playing over it, of this girl being like, first draw this and then draw this. And he's like flipping through this weird-ass sketchbook. Yeah. With papers and trash everywhere. Oh my gosh. It's the scariest thing I've ever seen. And then there's one video of like water, like a weird,

like swampy water. Yeah. And then another video I saw was him in the woods and he's filming a train going by. Oh, fuck that. And then he pans over to what is clearly a body. under a sheet. No. Or something that looks like a body in the sheet and there's there's like clothing next to it. Oh. And then it just cut off. And then it's, and now I look today and it's everything's gone. Okay. Number one, here's my big problem with you right now. I'm actually angry with you. We constantly send each other TikToks. Why did you never send me this? You know why? Because last night I was looking through it and I was like, whoa, what is this? And then I showed John and then I fell asleep. Cool. I love that you fell asleep after watching that. And also, wait, I have another theory.

I have a theory too. Okay, maybe he's just like a super creative dude and he's like doing it for, he's doing it for the Graham quote of quote. Here's my, I have several theories about this. One, it could be an interactive game. Yes. That people are supposed to be looking for hints. Maybe there's a chat room somewhere where everybody's talking about it and it's like a

hunt a killer game in real life. I was going to say it's hunt a killer via TikTok. By the way, go get hunter killer. They're awesome. But for real, maybe it could be that. Two, it could be some weird art thing that they think is, I mean, I don't know why they're doing that because you look in the comments of these and you could see from the beginning people were like oh this is fake and then all of a sudden people are going oh no i think this is real guys

is someone going to call the police like people were literally like did you see his hands like what and he looks older this is weird like i love that we're mad because he's older i know like and he's fucking old well no it just doesn't seem like something like a grown-ass adult would do it seems like something yeah teenager would do right especially if it was like for art or not real but then And also there's the, you know, the possibility. Wait, I'm like, old people don't like to play games. Yeah, of course not. I'm sorry.

Meanwhile, he's probably like 40. What's the possibility? I'm sorry. So then there's a possibility because as we remember, kids did find suitcases with dead body parts in it on TikTok. So shit happens. That's weird. Yeah. Maybe this is the next step that killers are taking.

TikTok. Using TikTok to film their shit and then scrubbing it clean. But here's my issue. Nothing is ever scrubbed clean. But maybe they don't care. Because if you look at the hashtags, too, that's the other big part of this. He used a ton of hashtags and they were always like very manic and very like, don't look at me. I can't stop. Please help.

Oh, fuck. Oh my God. I have like spinal chills. They were very, very manic and very alarming. And it was. And it seemed like someone reaching out. So I was almost like. Is he doing these things?

And he's like, help me stop. Oh, shit. Now I'm having like a panic attack on air. And maybe he started this shit because he wants someone to find him to stop. Yeah. I'm just saying. It's like the, oh my God. Um, the cry baby killer.

Yes. Oh. Like for God's sake when somebody going to come stop me. Oh. Oh. And if it's not, then I mean, no, my arms. I'm going to make a movie about this. T.M.

My fucking goosebumps right now. Yes. I. because it's truly crazy. And I just wanted to see if any of our listeners had seen this or if you had, you know, obviously it could be either thing. Yeah. I would never, I would love to say that it's very far-fetched that it's real. But it's really not that far-fetched anymore.

With the way the world is, who the fuck really knows? Nothing in 2020 is far-fetched. But holy shit, if it's not real, kudos. Because you did a, the job. You scared the nation. It was immaculate the way they did it. Just enough information, never overstepping to the point where you're like, oh, that's fake. That's too much.

Like, it was always to the point where you're like, that could be real. Right. Because he never gave too much. Right. It's just weird shit, weird environments. It's very dark. Very dark. Very disturbing.

So I want to know if Aiden knows about this. Oh, yeah, we should ask. Our nephew, Aiden. You don't know it. I got to ask him. Seriously. Shout out to Aiden. Hi, Aidan.

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up, Cous? What's up, Baden? Oh, my God. But yeah, I had to talk about that because... Damn.

Okay, this is gonna... I mean, this case is, like, very terrifying, but like, that's... Wow. Wow. Yeah. So, we really set you up for some more. Yeah, you sure did. All right, wow.

Yeah. Shit. It's a lot to digest, and I'm sad. I can't believe I just looked at. It's gone. I'm like, I'm sad that it's gone, but also grateful that I never had to see it. I'm pretty excited that I did see it. I'm pretty angry with you right now.

I mean, we'll see if later when there's an ID discovery story about this, that I can be like, I remember then I was watching them. Yeah, and I could have remembered, except I showed you TikTok. You did. I showed it to you. I showed you. I showed you. I created you. I think I also thought in my head I really want to show her this in person because I like to show you things that are very exciting in person.

That is true. You know. Thanks, Bob. You're welcome. Oh, man. All right. Well, should we get into it. We should get into it. All right on it.

Let's do it. So it's the morning of May 26th, 1990. It is. Right now. No, back then. And Marlene Warren opened the front door of her Florida home to someone who was dressed as a clown. And this clown had flowers and balloons.

Shut that door. Yeah, fuck that. Literally you see a clown and I'm like, I'm out. And before Marlene saw what else the clown was holding, she was handed the flowers and the balloons. And she made a comment about how pretty they were. And literally, next thing, she knew she was shot in the face.

Oh. Yes. Okay. Isn't that the scariest thing ever? I mean, to me, the scariest thing ever is anybody coming to my door? Yeah. Never mind a clown. Nope.

Who also shoots me in the face. In the face. In the face. So the saddest thing is she thought that all these gifts might have been from her husband, Mike, because they had been having some serious problems lately. Nothing super crazy. They were just arguing here and there. They owned a few businesses together, so I'm sure that added to the stress, exactly.

They owned a car business. They owned rental properties together. And Mike himself owned some resources. And they were doing really well for themselves. They lived in a super expensive neighborhood in Wellington, Florida, called the Arrow Club. The Arrow Club. And it was called the Arrow Club because there's a runway that runs through the back of it. And literally, like, people have like pads where they land their.

planes. Oh. So you can just fly your private plane home. Oh, so very middle America. Yeah, just like super wholesome. Yeah. What to hell. So they had been married for like 20 years. And Mike was a great stepdad by all accounts because Marlene was married once before. She was like super, super young when she got married to this guy named John Aaron's. And the reason they got married super young is because Marlene's stepdad was in the Air Force. And she would have had to move to Europe if she still lived with them. So she just got married to her boyfriend, I think. Which, you know, doesn't always work when it's like that. And I couldn't find anything to say it was like super tumultuous or anything like that. It's just when you're like forced into it kind of. It doesn't work out. So they had two sons together,

Johnny and Joe. And this is really sad. Johnny had unfortunately passed away two years before the clown knocked on the door. He was in like a really horrific fatal car accident. Oh, that's so sad. I know. So it was just Joe left. So Joe said that he remembered his mom, opening the door that morning after a white Chrysler-Liberin pulled up in the driveway. And he said, his mom took the flowers in the balloon. She said, oh, how pretty. And he thought then he heard a balloon popping. But he realized that the clown had pulled out a pistol and shot his mother directly in the face.

What the fuck? Like point blank range. That's terrifying. Oh, shit. Like, what? So she fell to the floor and there was people over for breakfast that morning. Joe had his friends over for breakfast. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So, oh my God. So she falls to the floor and everyone comes like rushing to her side. And Joe tried to chase after the clown to get the clown to stop. But he had just gotten some kind of accident and he broke his leg. So he was in like a super bulky leg cast. And this is the creepiest fucking part. Everybody who was there that morning said that the clown like calmly walked away after shooting Marlene. Like Michael Myers style. And like literally just walked back to the, also white Chrysler-Labaron, like very recognizable.

Oh, yeah. That's a very conspicuous car. So he said he chased after the clown. He tried to trace, but obviously his leg is broken. So he can't chase. And he said, the clown turned around and looked at him briefly before continuing just to slowly get in the car and slowly drive away. That's a legitimate nightmare. Like I was watching, there's a 48 hours about it.

and I was watching it. And the pain in this kid's eyes as he has like PTSD clearly. Oh, of course. And he's like a grown adult now, obviously. But you just saw your mother shot in the face by a clown. Right. And then you tried to chase said clown. And it turns around looks you dead in the face and then gets in a car and drives away casually.

All slowly. That's like the scariest part of this whole entire thing. Like you can't even make that up. No. So Joe and his friend who had been over for breakfast, like I said, they hop in the car and try to like find the La Baron, but they were never able to catch up. So this clown just fucking disappears into the day. Because this is more than the middle of the day. It was literally 11 o'clock in the morning. Wow. And it's like, what? So they try to catch up. They're not able to.

He was able to, though, give the police a description of the clown. So the clown had an orange wig, all white and red makeup, a big red clown nose. Yep. And only brown eyes were showing. He said, I know that the clown had brown eyes because he like, he or she looked me directly in the eyes. And it was like a big clown costume. So like I just said he or she because he, Joe wasn't sure whether it was a man or a woman. Clown is a perfect way to hide that. Yeah.

And the clown was wearing like regular high top shoes, not clown shoes. Ew. Right? I don't know why that's gross. I don't either. And I was reading it and I was like, oh, like I need to put that in there. And then I was like, is it weird that I just put that in there? No, I don't know why that's gross.

to me, but it's like... It adds to the creep. Yeah. Because you're wearing these like big ass, like, clown pants with, like, human shoes. Oh. It gave... You know what it fucking reminds me of? Donnie Darko.

Yes. When, um... I think the clown in Donnie Darko is wearing regular shoes. I think you're right. I think Frank is wearing regular shoes. Yeah. Oh, I don't like it. Yeah, it's a dark vibe.

Yeah, it is. It's a dark vibe. So, Barlene was still alive. Oh, good. Yeah. Oh. She was rushed to the hospital, and immediately she was put on life support. Oh, no.

Uh, there was a bullet. lodged in her spinal cord. Oh. And unfortunately, a lot couldn't be done to save her. Tips came into detectives just three hours after Marlene was shot saying to look into her husband and a woman who worked for him. The motherfucker. And a woman who worked for him.

I'm going to fuck her up. Always. And this woman worked at the used car business bargain motors. And her name was Sheila Keene. So Sheila was 26 and she had a son of her own from a previous marriage. she did car repossessions for the business and everybody said that she was the perfect person for the job because she was aggressive, fearless. And if worse came to worse, if worse came to worst is what I meant to say,

Sheila carried a 38 caliber pistol for protection. Oh, so there you go. Boom, cut and dry, right? Dunski. Wrong. Whoa. Wrong. Wow.

So it was a gun that her husband and her had owned together previously, but they were now separated, like divorced. And there was a lot of rumors about Sheila being like a don't mess with me type of lady. All those rumors were true. Which is a good way to be. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But there were also rumors, and this is not a good way to be, that she and Mike were having an affair together. Oh, fuck her. And fuck him. Some employees even said that they got caught having sex in the office. That's disgusting. And on not one, but multiple occasions. Divorce your wife. Right. I don't understand that. What the fuck? I don't either.

Holy shit. You can have all the sex you want in the office once you divorce your wife. But here's the problem. A lot of their businesses were in Marlene's name. Oh. Exactly. So that was a problem. So when detectives finally tracked down Mike, he was miles away in a car with some of his friends headed to a race track. So there was literally no way that he would be able to dress like a clown, kill Marlene, clean himself up, and then get dressed and make it look like he was super far on the road. It was just humanly impossible. And there was multiple people in the car to back up the timeline. And I just feel like this worked out perfectly in his favor.

It's like, oh, no, I was going to the race track. I was miles and miles away. It's like very convenient day to be miles and miles away. Of course. So whatever. Detective start following up on the tips into Sheila and they start looking into her. So they went to flower shops and grocery stores all around the area trying to narrow down where the balloons or the flowers came from.

Yeah, I didn't think of that. Which was really smart. And they were also calling costume shops to find out about the clown costume. And they called these women, I hope I say the name right, Barbara Castricone and Deborah offered. And they worked at a local costume shop. Okay. And they had some interesting information. So they told detectives that two nights earlier, a woman had come in just as they were closing. And she was like super adamant about seeing the clown costumes, which on any day is fucking weird, but especially now. So one of the women was like, oh, like, can you come back the next day? Because we're closing right now. We can't show you all of our clown costumes. Yeah, exactly. And Sheila, I mean, the woman, told them that they needed something right then and there. And then whoever it was, Sheila, bought a clown costume separately, an orange wig, a red nose, and some white makeup. Wow.

So whoever. The level of dumb here. Well, I'm like, you're going to buy that distinctive of a costume. I mean, don't go and kill somebody anyway in any kind. kind of costume, but like that costume and that costume and going to a costume shop. Right. Like not just getting, you know, it just seems like you're really pinpointing yourself here. You're asking for it. And to like ask people about the clown costumes to like make another trail. And to be like super adamant. Like no, I like you need to be like like going in the middle of the day when there's a ton of

other people there and just you need to buy like more than one thing. You're a dumbass. Yeah, you're stupid. I like that we just spelled out for people how to do this for the future. So cool, cool. So the detectives asked the woman to describe like the super pushy customer. And both women described somebody who looked a lot like Sheila Keene. Because it was her. Yes. And then they were pretty sure it was her when they were shown a photo lineup.

They like pointed her out. And they said they couldn't be 100% sure, but like they were like very, very sure. Pretty sure it's this bitch. Basically they, I think they like didn't want to be wrong. But they were like, yeah. Yeah. Because I imagine that must be really different. to be like, I know it's that person, but like, what is that tiny little chance it's not? And I

fuck me up. And I fucked their whole life over. Like, so you're like, I'm pretty sure it's her. I think so. So luckily, tracking down the balloons turned out to be a lot easier than they thought because the two balloons were like very distinct balloons. One of them said, she's real dumb. She's real dumb. And she's terrifying. Because one of these balloons said, you're the greatest. What the fuck? Isn't that so, first of all, like, terrifyingly creepy, but also like, What? And then the other one had snow white and the seven dwarves on it. I hate everything about this. It's like, what the fuck? And I think, I don't know, just to like add to the creepiness. The flowers, I'm pretty sure were carnations. Oh. Yeah. Wow. I hate carnations. I don't like carnations either. So, yeah. In snow white, I feel like, and sorry for all the snow white heads out there. But like, I think snow white is like a really weird ass tail. Oh, I do. It's very, I mean, seven men are just living with this group. Like, and she's literally there to like clean for them. And like. And then like the whole falling into a coma shit, it's just weird. It's a very weird deal.

I won't let the girls watch it. Really? I've yet to let them watch Snow White. Yeah, it's weird. It's very dark. So that's a weird one to put on a balloon for this. So yeah, snow white, creepy, creepy, and you're the greatest creepy creepy. So the detectives are able to determine that the balloons were bought at this grocery store called Public's grocery store.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Those are like still around. You don't have them here. I thought you were kidding. I was like, I thought you were like, oh yeah, like publics. No, they're like a real thing. No, I never heard of it.

They're not around here though. No. So the employees there gave them a similar description to the woman at the costume store, Sheila. And when they looked at the time that the balloons were purchased, it was 922 in the morning. And that was just an hour and a half before the shooting. Jesus. So she did this that day. Wow.

And I love that these people, I imagine they're just like, you know what? She looked like a Sheila. Yeah, it's weird. I think her name was Sheila. She looked very Sheila-ish. I think she said her name with Sheila. Yeah, she just, I like, I sniffed and I was like, ooh, is that Sheila? That's a Sheila vibe you're giving off.

That's a Schench. She's not with Sheila. She's a Debbie. What's that from? You're not a Sheila, you're a Debbie. What is that from? I have no idea. Wow, I don't know.

I need to, somebody tell me. Anyways. So another Sheila vibe. She only lived half a mile away from the fucking grocery store. Wow, Sheila. I'm like, girl. So cool, cool, cool. Wow.

The detectives obviously did not think that this was a coincidence. No. No, me either. Good. I mean, some would. So I am glad that they didn't. We're not dealing with the LAPD here. No, we're not.

So they go talk to Sheila. And so meanwhile, back at the hospital, Marlene, unfortunately, was being taken off life support. Oh, Marlene. I know. Marlene's mother, Shirley, had got a call telling her what was going on while she and Marlene's stepfather were, like, vacationing, visiting their friends in Arizona. And you get a phone call that says your daughter was shot in the face in her. her home by a fucking clown.

And is on life support. You would think that was a prank call. I'd be like, no. Right. That whole thing did not happen. You can't put all those things together. Exactly. So they fly back to Vegas where they lived and then they got on another plane and they promptly went to be by Marlene's bedside. Marlene's son, Joe, was there. And this really pissed off Shirley. Mike was there because... Oh, I would want to fuck that guy up. Oh, yeah. I do want to fuck that guy up. Oh, I do too. Like presently. You're going to want to in the end as well.

I want to murder him. So Shirley told Peter Van Sant from CBS News that Marlene had recently confided in her that if anything happened to her, Mike did it. That, oh. And it's also like, if you ever have to say that in your life, you got to get out. Run. So she is far away from, I'm not like blaming anybody. No, of course not. Or victim blaming or anything.

But it's just like, please know that if you are ever saying the words, if anything is to happen to me, me blame this person that I'm still currently in a relationship with. I know. Get out. So here's the thing. I think because I couldn't find a lot about like her wanting to leave or anything like that, but I think it was overshadowed by like just like the craziness that is this case. But I think her mom said like please come live with me. And it seems like she might have been planning to go. So I think she was. It's always too late. But it's also, especially in this case, it's so tough because they have all these intertwining things that connect them. And businesses, like, that fucks you up.

Yeah. It's just, oh, it's always hindsight. Yeah. But it's like, oh, God. And it just sucks so much. It killed me. So Shirley knew that Mike had an airtight alibi, but that didn't mean that he wasn't involved.

Yeah. Like, you can have an alibi. That's actually even, I think that's even more perfect. You have an alibi for you. Right. But it doesn't mean that somebody who you have hired to do this or have convinced to do this. Exactly. Yeah.

So, and then we're going to get into this later. But I don't think that Mike had to do much convincing. I don't think this was his plan. If somebody's willing to do this, I don't think they need a lot of convincing. No, exactly. It sounds to me like somebody who does this was going to do this eventually. It's a little bit of a cuckoo nut man. A little bit.

Or woman. We're inclusive here. So unfortunately, Maureen was taken off life support two days after the shooting. Oh. It's really sad. And the bullet removed from her spinal cord was determined to be from either a 38 caliber pistol. Oh, that sounds familiar. Yeah, you know, like the one Shirley had. Oh, that one. Yeah. Or, oh my God, not Shirley. Shirley's the mom. Sheila. Oh, Sheila. Like the one Sheila had. I'm so

sorry. She's a Sheila, not a Shirley. Um, they, and they couldn't be sure that it was a 38 because there was also a possibility that it was from a 357. But it was one of the two guns. So that's, you know, that's a red flag. It's a good little piece of something to connect later. Right. And it made the detectives even hotter on Sheila's trail, obviously, because she had a 38. So they came knocking at her door and Sheila told the detectives that the morning of the shooting, she was out doing car repossessions. But the bummer was that she couldn't remember any of the cars that she had repossessed that day. Oh, that's stinky. I feel like if you have a car repossession job, you're like stoked to go out and repossess cars and, like, you know which ones you're looking for.

Because if you're in that business, you're like, let's do this. Yeah. You're like the people that give tickets on Newberry Street. And you can't, you can't remember one. Right. Not one. Like you said you were out all morning. Yeah.

You muster, like, that must have been at least a couple. Yeah. So cool, cool, cool. Love that for you. So strange, you know. She also told them that she had misplaced that gun about a month before the shooting. You know. So clumsy.

I just lost it. Like I would lose my wallet. Yeah. I hate when I lose a gun. And so stupid. Because the thing is, you don't lose a fucking gun. And remember, she had a child. Yeah.

If you did lose your gun with a child in your home, like, your child should be taken away from you. more issues here at hand. Yes, exactly. So cool, cool, cool. She also denied having any relationship whatsoever with Mike Warren just a good friendship. So like, she denied having a romantic relationship, I should say. I don't believe you. Yeah. And you know what? Neither did the neighbors. Because when they were interviewed, they said that they saw Mike Warren coming and going from Sheila's house so often that they thought he was her husband. Dear God. They thought he was her husband. And it's like, dude, you can become her husband if you want. Like, nobody's trying to stop you.

The marriage. And you know what? I feel like Marlene was like the kind of person that would just be like, cool, like fuck right off then. Get the fuck out of here. I'm keeping my businesses, but fuck you. You can go be with this lady. Mm-hmm. Oh, you can call her a twat. She's a twat. In this case, she's a twat. She's a real twat. So when Marlene had told Shirley, like, if anything happens to me look into Mike, she also said that Mike was hardly ever home anymore. So it's like, this is just all adding up. I feel so bad. And, oh, you feel so bad.

And he really stopped being around as much when she needed him the most when her oldest son had died. That's when all this started. Wow. So he's literally a monster. A fucking monster. Right. And I mean, I'm pretty sure that she married him when her kids were young.

Like, so he was their dad, you know, like for all intents and purposes. And her surviving son, Joe said that. He was like, he was like our dad. Yeah. And here he is not giving a shit. Exactly. So shitty, shitty, shitty. It makes me so angry.

But luckily, the police had a good case going. Unluckily, their evidence was really just circumstantial. Of course. Which sucks. But that was until a car was found just four days after the shooting. You don't say. A car matching the description of the one that that calm clown was just driving away. That la baron.

La baron. And it was found, it was so funny, because when you were saying the grocery store that's like, You're like, oh, yeah, they're out there. Yeah. This is a Wind Dixie grocery store. Oh, there you go. And the only reason I knew what that was is because of Wind Dixie. I figured.

Yes, thank you. So the Liberen is there. And when they check to see who the LeBaron belonged to, this is like such a twist. It had been stolen from a car rental place called Payless. Oh. Like Payless. Like Payless shoes. Yes, that's why I said it like that.

Payless cars. Right. So this is where the story, like I said, it's weirder. Mike Warren knew about pay less because he had been. sued by that company. Huh. Yeah. For running an ad that looked exactly like theirs.

His was kind of supposed to say like pay less as two separate words, but that was like the one word that their company was. But in the ad, there was barely a space. And they were like, yeah, like people are going to call you instead of us. Like that's, you can't do that. No, no. No, no, sir. Not today.

And so the last people who rented the Liberen were a couple. And they ended up calling Bargain Motors, Mike's used car place. instead of pay less where they rented the car from. Huh. So, whoever answered the phone at Bargain Motors told them to leave the car on the street and put the keys in the visor. I'm willing to bet who that was. Yeah, same zies.

Yeah. So the couple thought it was like weird, but they were like, okay. Like, why would we question that? Right, exactly. So, cool. Who do you think the next person was to drive that LeBaron? Oh, I don't know. I can't even begin to think.

I feel like it might have been Sheila. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Sheila. Yeah. So inside the Liberan detectives found strands of long brown hair, just like Sheila's long brown hair. Everybody that described her, she had like almost like hippie hair, like parted in the middle and like super, super long and thick, like brown ass hair.

I bet it was shitty. Yeah. I like, hate to say this, but she actually had nice hair in the beginning. I bet it smelled gross. Well, she definitely smells gross. And later on, her hair sucks. And I actually talk about it. So there you go.

Yeah, exactly. They also found orange fibers that looked exactly like the ones that came from the clown wig. Gross. So that's cool. The only issue was that DNA testing wasn't really advanced in the early 90s. No? No. So the results just came up similar when they compared it to Sheila's hair. Which is no good. And the clown wig and clown costume was never found. Really? Never found. Huh. I wonder what that bitch did or the gun. The gun was never found either. Oh, I want to know where it is. I mean, they lived in Florida, so I feel like there's plenty of places where she could have just swamp somewhere. Exactly. Or like some weird ass random body of water. But they were lucky because they did get a search warrant for Sheila's apartment.

And Sheila's apartment was just nine miles away from this one, Dixie's grocery store. So she's doing this at all these local-ass grocery stores. Yeah, it's like, girlfriend, do you think you could maybe drive more than like 10 minutes down the road to do any of this? Yeah, and just like clear the odometer so they can't tell. Like what a lazy son of a bitch. Exactly. So they go into her apartment and they got some more samples of her hair and they found orange fibers consistent with the ones found in the Liberian on Sheila's clothing. Gross. But again,

that's really just circumstantial evidence, so they can't do a lot. Yeah, they can't be like there's orange fibers and there's here too. Right. Because that can be anything. Exactly. And unfortunately, it's just like it's not a strong case. So they don't want to go with it yet until they get something better. Because it could definitely fall apart and then she would just walk. Exactly. And never mind. Uh-oh. No. Okay. So looking back into Mike two, because the LeBaron was connected. to him and bargain motors. Now they could get a warrant for bargain motors. Thank goodness she sucked so much. I know. And they did get the warrant. And they didn't find anything to help in Marlene's case, but they found enough evidence to get Mike arrested on charges. Are you ready? Of racketeering,

grand theft auto, odometer tampering. So like I said, she really could have cleared that odomator. It's like Matilda. I know. That's what I was like. I literally wrote that in here. And insurance fraud. Wow. So, like, I'm literally picturing, like, Matilda's fat dad. That's literally what I'm picturing is Danny DeVito. Yes, her dad. Exactly. Danny DeVito, I love your work.

I have to throw them in there because people get mad at me now if I don't connect to teen girls. You got to. Okay. So, yeah. He was immediately arrested, obviously. And he actually served four years in prison. Not enough.

But, no, not enough. And they were never able to connect him to Merlene. That's fucked. Which is really, really fucked. So where is he? Well, hold on. So, well, hold up. I just want to talk.

He's actually pretty low. So we could talk. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of gray area between the years Mike got out of jail in 2002. So it's like, I think, I don't know exactly what year they got in, but it was in the 90s, like mid-90s and then to 2002. Okay. Mike argued with Marlene's son Joe about who should keep the house, and Joe got left with like nothing. That pisses me off. Right. So much. And this is really sad because like I said, Mike was basically his dad. And they were like completely discreet. And they were like, completely disconnected now and he was basically abandoned. And he actually had a really hard time for a while and he got into drugs obviously to cope with the loss of his mom. Yeah, he was going through a ton of shit.

Really going through a ton of shit. But this will make you happy. I put this in the middle on purpose. Okay, good. He really turned his life around and he started his own construction company. And he said in 48 hours that he owes it to his mom because he learned so much from her when he, because she would take him to like the rental properties anytime they fixed anything. And he said if she couldn't fix it herself and she could fix like almost anything herself, she'd hire someone and whoever she hired, she would have Joe watch them fix it. I love that. And he was like, I learned so much.

Oh, good for you, Joe. I know. I love Joe. Good job. So back to the shit stains. In 2002, Sheila moved away with her son and got married in Vegas to this guy. Oh, good. She got married to this guy named Mike Warren.

Okay. They got married. Oh, it was the Mike. The Mike Warren. Oh, shit, I forgot his last name was Warren. Yes, she married Mike Warren after claiming that they had no fucking romantic relationship. I'm not shocked at all. And you're like the primo suspect in his wife's murder and you're going to go get married?

That's so flagrant. They don't care. No, they don't care at all. And I'm like, you literally said that you weren't having a relationship in the first place. And now you're getting married. Yeah, you're pieces of shit. Like, at least be honest and be like, yeah, we were having an affair. Yeah, we were having an affair.

But if you're going to lie, be like, it didn't have anything. thing to do with her murder, obviously. Exactly. And then they'd be like, well, yes, it did. They They obviously think everyone around them is not as smart as them, but in reality, they're fucking idiots. Oh, and they're like assholes, too, and I'll get into that. I mean, yeah. So they settled down in Virginia, and they opened a fast food restaurant in Tennessee, because I guess it's like just like right over the border right there. I don't remember. Called adultery and murder. Is that what it's called? It was called. It was called the Purple Cow. Close. Similar. Yeah. They were cows, so there is. Yeah. And Sheila was going by Deb or Debbie now. Oh, cute. Because she said that's what her

dad called her when she was younger. That's weird as fuck, Sheila. That's not your name. Yeah, that's not your name. That's not a cute story. That just means your dad's dumb and he didn't know what your real name was. I think it was her middle name. Whatever. Wait, that's actually, you know, Sheila, you're Debbie. That's weird. That is weird. Sheila, Debbie, what the fuck. Yeah. Also, like, that's not your name. No, it's not your name. That's not my name. So she also, now this is when I get mad about her hair. She dyed her long brown hair, this horrific fucking shade of what she wants to say is blonde. I just looked up in Google and I saw it. It is not blonde. No. I don't know what that is. It's, uh, it's brown.

It's not, yeah. It's like, ugh, it's fucking nasty. It's not a color found in nature. No, it made my stomach turn. And I hate to say this, but it wasn't professionally done. And I'm not hating on you if you boxed dye your hair, because Elena boxed eyes her hair and she does great job. Thank you. You're welcome. Uh, so anyways, employees at the purple cow, remember that Shabby. Shelly. That's what I, I'm going to call her from now on, Sheila Debbie. Shebby and Mike were difficult to work for. Oh, you don't say. Right? If something was even slightly wrong, like, they would not let you hear the end of it. And people really tried their best not to get on their bad side because there was a rumor at the Purple Cow that Shebby had killed Mike's wife and did it

dressed as a clown. Oh, a rumor. Yes. A room-in. You know what they say about rumors. Now, this is going to send you through the roof. Oh, no. They would dress up for Halloween at the Purple Cowl at the purple clown at the purple cow in one year and I will post this picture on Instagram so you can all go through the roof as well. Sheby dressed like a fucking clown. What a cunt. Not even a cunt. Like what is wrong with you? Holy hell. Like just to be that blatant like you might as well dress up as a fucking middle finger. She has a surviving child you absolute piece of shit. Yeah. I know. Uh, it makes me so mad. Tell me someone has like tried to take a bat to this woman's face because holy shit well i'll i'll tell you later where she is so

don't worry i just want to talk shella debby she'd like to have a convo so don't worry she gets hers because dna testing like we know got better it did and in 2013 the detectives working on marlene's now cold case were not giving up like they were so fucking good because they know that she did it they just need a stronger case i hate those cases where it's like everyone knows who did it but you can't Because there's that little, like, you know, one fucking juror will mess it all up. So they started re-questioning all the witnesses to the shooting. Anybody that worked with Mike or with Sheila, and they just got the case, like, ramped up again. And they said it was going to take time, but they were hopeful that it would end with Sheila in handcuffs.

So Mike and Sheby retired eventually. And they sold the Purple Cow in December of 2016. Okay. And then they thought they were going to live, like, super happily ever after. and their gorgeous second home in the mountains of Virginia right on the lake. But fuck you guys. Fuck you guys. And also this house is like, I'm like, wow, you want to pretend like your poor later on because

she does and I'll get into it. I'm like, okay. Okay, Shebb. Okay. So it all came crumbling down one day in 2017. Oh, yay. Yay. So the police set it up to look like a roadblocker at checkpoint because they knew that Mike

and Chebby were going to be pulling through this little spot. I love this. And they didn't. The reason that they didn't, like, go to her house and arrest her is because, like, they thought she was, like, not going to go willingly. Yeah. So they were like, let's make this theatrical, obviously. So, Officer Dewey Fulton. Doey?

Do we? Do we. Get out of here. I go, fuck, yeah, scream vibes. Deputy Dewey. Deputy Dewey. Pulled them over and asked for Mike's driver's license and then went around to the passenger side and was like, oh, can I see yours too? And she handed him her little Tennessee fucking license or whatever.

And he was like, as soon as I read her license. I said, can you step out of the car, please? Because you're under arrest for the 1990 murder of Marlene Warren. The feeling. The feeling. The feeling. 27 years later. This bitch got away with it for 27 years.

And now Shebby had the right to remain silent. Yes. Goodbye, Shebb. What a release. So she was booked in Virginia. And she's like, you probably saw it if you looked it up. She's smiling in her booking photo. Oh, yeah, she's like chees-in.

Downright, Sherry. Yeah, she's fucked up. She looks like she's posing for like, like, she's at like a Christmas party and she's posing like, yeah, we're all having fun. Like, oh my God, let's do Secret Santa after this. Someone put a lampshade on their head. This is wild. Ah, ha.

Ugh. So she was quickly extradited back to Florida to stand trial, excuse me. And the prosecutors say that there was now, because there was this new DNA testing, obviously, they tested all the evidence again. and they won't say what happened exactly, but they say that it is sure to end in like a rock solid case. Yes. So Chevy will remain behind bars after trial. So we're still waiting for a trial?

Yeah, because of COVID actually. Fuck COVID. Yeah. I know, right? God. So it keeps getting like pushed off and pushed off because originally, because she, again, she was arrested in 2017. Yeah. And then there was like, I'm going to get into it, all these like things where she tried to say she was indigent. Is that how you say?

Indigent. Indigent. Yeah. So, okay, so Mike Warren told Peter Van Sant, again, that guy from CBS news that Marlene's mom talked to. Yep. And she was like, yeah, she told me that you should look into Mike if anything happened. So now Mike's talking to this guy and this guy's like, motherfucker, you have something to do with this. But Mike said, if I thought she had anything to do with this, I wouldn't have been with her. You're an actual idiot. It's like, no, if you had any respect for anybody at all, you wouldn't be with her because she was the number one suspect in your wife's murder and you know it as well as everybody. else does. Even if you knew she had absolutely nothing to do with it, which, come on. Like, lie. You would still be with the woman who was the number one suspect when most people's mind is the murderer of your wife. Like, you think that you were going to get away with that for like another 27

years? Okay, bud. Like, I'm sorry. You have to walk away from true love, Mike. Yeah. True love. So Shebby also maintains her innocence and she writes all these letters to Mike and her mom from jail as inmate number 0-0-2-9-5-6. Ooh. And I don't know. I just like wanted to like say her inmate number because I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you, girlfriend. Hate you.

All of Sheila's mail is being collected and copied by the prosecution in case she like slips up or admits anything. So far she hasn't. She found God in prison. Don't they all. I know. She got baptized. Don't they all.

Yep. And then she wrote to Mike, God knows I wouldn't hurt anything or anyone. That's not me. And I know the world is still full of evil and wrongdoing, but that is not me. And I pray that the world could be a better place for everyone. First of all, fuck you. Yeah, Shepiebys. Second of all, anybody who finds God in prison finds God because they teach you that whatever you did, God will forgive you if you just find them.

You're just trying to get into heaven. It's a dead giveaway that you did it. Because if you were innocent, you wouldn't be trying to find something to justify. what you did. Exactly. You know who else found God in prison? Son of Sam. Most of them, yeah, exactly. Everybody. You know who else did? Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah. We ate people. So how do you feel Sheb Sheb? So cool. So according to the Sun Centennial, that's where I got the quote that I just read from her letter. They also say that Shebby's lawyer is like this super high power defense attorney. Most likely like costs a lot of money, I would assume. They say that he's not worried about the prosecution using

Shebby's mail at trial because he said there isn't going to be anything that's relevant to the case. No, okay. And he was like mad about it. He's like, you know, like, prisoners need, like deserve rights. Like, they wouldn't be reading her mail if she was out on the outside. Like, that's a felony. And it's like, they could probably get a search warrant for it. Yeah, exactly.

And also, she sucks. Well, and like, she's in prison. So she doesn't have that right anymore. She lost that right when she went to prison. Or she lost that right when she shot somebody wearing a clown suit. When she, like, shot a mother who she was like fucking her husband behind her back. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah.

Thank you, though. Yeah. Good try, though. Thank you for that lesson in morality. Good try, Rich guy. Yeah. So in any case, Shebby could be in trouble, like I said, because she claimed herself to be indigent.

What did you say? Indigent. Indigent. Sorry. It's like indigestion. It is. So she said she's poor. And she filed a motion claiming that she needed the Justice Administration Commission to

help her pay for, like, all these outstanding fees from her case. And the only problem with that is that all. Like everything that she and Mike have together is adds up to hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash and assets. Doesn't sound too indigent to me. No, exactly. So WPTV, like, wrote this article about it and that's what they said. So hopefully we'll be able to get more information on when the trial is going to happen because, like I said, it just keeps getting postponed because of COVID. I wanted to happen.

And according to an oxygen TV article that I read, Shebby is enjoying watching TV shows like America's Got Talent and reading Danielle's, steal novels while she's in solitary confinement. Ew, can you imagine knowing that she's watching you on TV? No. And also, I love that they had to put her in solitary confinement so that nobody would kill her. So nobody would beat the shit out of her. Exactly. So that's annoying. And it seems like some of her letters to Mike saying that she has it so bad in there might be exaggerating a little bit. Might be a bunch of bullshit. That's cool. Wow. So hopefully we can do an update to this case and find out, and we can read her verdigil-guilty, I was going to say.

Hopefully we can read that birdie guilty. That guilty verdict. Once the Rona clears on out of here, oh my God, I'll go to the trial. I want to see this so bad. We will definitely do an update on this. Holy shit. She obviously didn't.

The fact that she murdered someone wearing a clown suit. It's like, why? The other thing too is it's like, I think what did I say? It was like May? I'm like, why did you wear a clown suit? Yeah, what was the meaning behind? And that's why I want her to get like the guilty verdict. So hopefully she'll crack at some point and just.

admit that she did it. Right. And then we can finally hear like, why, like, I know why you did it because you're like a filthy piece of shit and you wanted to sleep with her husband. But why the clown suit? The only thing that I can think of for the clown suit is, oh, oh, I didn't even fucking say this. I think that Marlene liked clowns because you should watch the 48 hours documentary on this. I got a lot of information from there, but I left out some stuff, obviously, because I'm not going to like write the whole episode for brevity, for brevity. But I think Marlene liked clowns. because she painted clowns when she was younger. Oh, that's even weirder.

In the beginning of the 48 hours episode, her mom is showing these two paintings, which are amazing. The fact that she did these when she was a teenager is incredible. And they're of two clowns. That is even more fucked up. Yeah. And now her mom has like a clown room in her house. So I think that Marlene maybe liked clowns.

And I think because of the flowers and the balloons, she was supposed to be sending it off as like, is that called like a, not a telegram? Yeah, like a singing telegram kind of thing. Yeah. I think that's what it was supposed to be like. Oh. So she even, I think she went even further and like used something that her liked. Use something that she liked against her because she knew that she would open the door.

Exactly. Because normal people. Because that's what I was thinking. I was like, nine times out of ten. Right. Somebody seeing a clown at the door is going to be like, nope. Nope. And shut all the lights off and hide.

Right. And wait for them to go away. Well, especially now. And then they also talked about, now that we're just chatting, they also talked about, you know, remember in 2016? how there was like that crazy scare of like clowns. John used to like fuck with us and like bang on the door. Yes. Because I was terrified. I was scary. I'm sorry if you're a clown. I'm terrified of clowns. I used to cry at the circus. You cried at the circus. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Um, my dad made a clown

apologize to me. That's the best thing ever. I love that. Um, but in the 48 hours, they brought that up that whole 2016 scare. And it was like Joe was having a really hard time during all of that. Marlene's I can't imagine. Because it probably just brought back all. Because the clowns in 2016 were fucking terrifying. And they were everywhere. Everywhere. And they were just being weird.

Yeah. And like literally just like walking behind your car or something. Yeah. So yeah. Wow. Nuts. I'm so glad that Joe is doing so well. I know.

And I'm construction company. And I really hope that for Joe, I hope he gets to see some fucking justice. I know. And I hope that somehow Mike gets like, I hope he's involved somehow to the point where he can be behind. bars as well. I hope so. Because you can't tell me that he did not know this was happening. No, if they were having an affair and she killed her, that, come on. Right. Come on. And then it's like you go to prison and then pretty soon after you get out of prison and you marry her. Marry her. It's like, okay. If you really gave a

shit about your wife at all and this was just like a stupid affair that happened, there's no way in hell that you would marry that woman. No. There's no way. The other thing that's annoying is then you go on and you live basically the same life with this woman that you had with Marlene. You just open a business together and you like get a second, like a beautiful home. It's like, that's exactly what you did with Marlene. And if I was Shirley, or not Shirley, I would say that. If I was Sheila, I'd be like, well, what happens when he offs me? Yeah, but she's not worried because she did it.

Exactly. So she's like, no one else is going to do it. Exactly. And it's like, Joe is still alive. Like her child who you fathered. Right. Is still alive. You're flunting that right in front of his space.

And you're just like, you don't give a shit. Like, your shit is more important than that kid, and that's so fucked up. Exactly. And you just left him. Yeah. Oh. So much wrong on this case. You know what, Mike, if you're listening, go fuck yourself.

Honestly. And Sheila, can't wait to see you get a guilty verdict. Bye Sheb, Shab. Bye, Shabby. So, yeah, that was the case of the really, really fucking sad case of Marlene Warren's murder. That's truly fucked up. And I really can't wait to see Shubby get what she deserves.

Me neither. So if you want to see all the pictures of Shabby, especially when she dresses like a clown. Oh, I want to see that. Unbelievable. I'll post that one. But you can follow us on Instagram at Morbid Podcast. Hit us up on Twitter. A morbid podcast. Send us a Gmail. Morbidpodcast.com. Shop our merch at shop.com. Buy tickets to the Halloween event. And listen to Crime Countdown. Yeah, on Parcast Network. Yeah. We hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird. But not somewhere you feel the need to serve somebody to telegram and dress up as a clown and give them flowers and balloons and not just leave after that, like actually shoot them in the face because that's really fucked up and not necessary

and not like allowed. And just leave your significant other if you want to have an affair. Just fucking leave them. Not so weird that you have an affair. Oh, that's so annoying. Rude.