Morbid - The Murder of Anthony LoConte

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

On the evening of May 10, 1988, a passing driver on Howard Street in Brockton, MA, stopped to investigate something unusual on the side of the road. When the driver got closer to what they thought was a bag, they realized it was actually the body of twenty-four-year-old Anthony LoConte, bleeding badly from injuries to his face and head.Initially, investigators believed LoConte was the victim of a hit-and-run accident; however, when the coroner examined the body, he discovered a bullet hole in the back of LoConte’s head, indicating that he’d been murdered.It took twelve years for investigators to track down LoConte’s killer, but in the winter of 2000, California Highway Patrol arrested Robert Morganti on drug charges and a quick background check connected them to a 1988 warrant for Morganti for the murder of Anthony LoConte.Robert Morganti was extradited back to Massachusetts, where he was tried, convicted, and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for LoConte’s murder. However, due to a controversial 2024 law concerning life sentences for young offenders, Robert Morganti could be granted parole in the near future.Consider signing the petition by visiting https://www.change.org/p/help-uncle-tony-uphold-mandatory-life-sentences-in-massachusetts-bill-s942 . Thank you to the Incredible Dave White of Bring Me the Axe Podcast for research and Writing support!ReferencesBoston Globe. 1988. "Police believe drugs are linked to slaying of Brockton man." Boston Globe, May 12: 35.Boyle, Maureen. 2000. "Murder suspect caught in Calif." The Enterprise (Brockton, MA), March 21: 1.Commonwealth of Massachusetts v. Robert J. Morganti. 2009. SJC-09830 (Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, Plymouth, November 25).Commonwealth of Massachusetts v. Robert J. Morganti. 2014. SJC-11281 (Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, February 12).Peterson, Dave. 2000. "Murder suspect's long flght ends in Modesto." Modesto Bee, March 21: 1.Stern, Amelia. 2025. 'No remorse': Taunton woman devastated by ruling that could free her brother's killer. April 25. Accessed May 04, 2025. https://www.tauntongazette.com/story/news/courts/2025/04/25/taunton-ma-brockton-anthony-loconte-murder-victim-sjc-robert-morganti-parole/83271252007/. Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, weirdos. So we are doing something a little different today. And that is because we have done something a little exciting, a little bit hurrah, hurrah. We are starting and actually started a new podcast. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called The Rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And we thought it would be like a super fun idea if we shared the first episode with you guys right now. We know, now I've been obsessed with Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, since, like, junior high when it came out, basically. I've told you guys about this on Morbid. You all know, I've talked about Buffy a ton. I've talked about the RPGing days, you know, the varping, the larping of it all. And a lot of you have said that you were also Buffyheads, or you've said, you know what, I never watched that, but now I'm kind of curious.

This is your time. It's your time and it's my time, because as we know, I am the resident young on this show. Elena, you're old. Yeah. But I have never watched a single episode in my life until we started this podcast. So if you're new on this little journey, join it. Join it with me. It's going to be fun.

That's the dynamic. I have seen every episode like 10 times over. And Ash hasn't seen, I think she's seen like two minutes of maybe like three episodes in her whole life before this. Yeah. So together we're going to rewatch literally every single episode of this series, breaking down what makes this show so iconic. We're going to do full recaps.

We've added some cool, like, categories because we thought a straight recap just can't be. We have to have some cool categories. We're going to have, like, Ash is going to be, like, fully into the 90s fashion of it all. You know this. Oh, my God, I'm salivating. But we're going to do things like, you know,

we're going to recognize the most valuable slayer of the week. We're going to talk about the witty lines, like witty-buffy banter of the week. We're going to talk about the best. big bads of the week. We're going to do some superlatives. It's going to be cool. And what's even cooler and something that I am still just, I'm looking at 13-year-old Elena, and I'm like, you never knew, you never knew this would happen, because we're going to be welcoming some special guests. People who have things to do with Buffy, who may have been in Buffy. That's all I'll say.

Are you sharding or are you sharding? The other thing, too, is that we know, like, so many of you guys love Buffy because we've heard that from you. So I think you're all going to love it. And I really think you guys are going to have just like so much fun listening to this as I think you're going to as much fun listening to it as we have making it. Which this has been a blast to make. We are laughing hysterically. It's been just like a nostalgia bomb. This has been, we look forward to doing this just as like this really cool, fun, you know, something different. One might say we're sliving. There you go. One might say that. I wouldn't. But I, I, that. I wouldn't. But I, I, One might, you know.

Yeah. Because I don't know what's living is still. You don't need to know. It's okay. So enjoy episode one of the rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then if you feel so inclined, go follow the show on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or you know what, wherever you're listening. New episodes come out every Monday and episodes one and two are available right now.

Let's do this. Welcome to the Hellmouth Weirdos. So first of all. I have been dying to do this particular rewatch podcast since, basically since I knew what a podcast was. And I think I actually wanted to do it before that. I just didn't know what a podcast was. I was just, I just knew I wanted to talk about Buffy. You wanted to have a Buffy radio show. I did. I really did. Because honestly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer literally changed my life.

There was Elena B.B. before B. and Elena A.B. after B. I only know Elena A.B. So for those of you who have not had the life-altering experience yet of watching this show, Hello. Let me give you some quick background. So Buffy the Vampire Slayer takes place in the late 90s. It's about a teenage girl, Buffy Summers, who's just, you know, trying to live a normal life. But it's completely impossible because she's been chosen as the slayer of her generation.

You know, obviously. Yeah, that can, like, mess things up. That tracks. A Slayer is supposed to keep people safe, battle demons, you know, other supernatural forces of evil and all kinds of scaries. Okay. So far, nothing sounds amiss. No, it's all on brand. Yeah.

So Buffy's played by Sarah Michelle Geller. Love her. Total, total badass. And she gets help from some of her friends at school, like there's Willow, played by Alison Hannigan. We got Zander, played by Nicholas Brendan, and her watcher, Giles. Oh, do you like him? Love Giles, played by Anthony Head. And he trains her, he teaches her, he guides her, which is exactly what I'm going to do for you, Ash.

Yay. I'm going to guide you through this because you have never watched this show before. No, nope. No. I'm the new, I am Buffy. I'm the new girl in school. Brand new babe in school. Hey-o.

Which is kind of crazy to think about how it was such a key part of your life and I just never watched it with you. You just weren't allowed to. I was a baby. You know, so you're going to be the newbie here. If anyone's out there right now and they've never seen it either and always wanted to, or maybe you didn't want to, but you're in now. In this together. Exactly.

So together, we're going to rewatch every single episode of this entire series, and we're going to break down what makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer so damn cool. We're going to have some special guests every now and then. Ooh. Some fun categories, like aged like a vampire. empire or aged like a human, where we decide which of the moments aged well or didn't age that great. If they aged well, then they aged like a vampire. If not, like a human. We're going to have the most valuable slayer of the episode. Love that one, which I think that's, that kind of explains itself.

Who's the MVP? Yeah. Who's the MVS of the episode? We're also going to be talking about, which I know Ash is very excited about, fashion hits and misses. Because I love. I love. 90s fashion. Yes. And each week, I'm going to take a wooden steak stab at what's going to happen next. But don't worry, no spoilers. And we are starting at the very beginning. From Wondery, I'm Elena, and I'm Ash. And this is The Rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is episode one. Welcome to the Hellmouth. Welcome. Insert cool music here. I'm really excited for it. Do no, no, do now. Wow. Let's go. I'm so excited.

I obviously, again, have only seen one episode. So just kind of like, I don't know, what was it about Buffy that just got you? This was where I wanted to be. Okay, I could see why. It drew me in immediately. Yeah. I think it was just like I want to be in this world. It's like it's escapism and like it's purest form.

Fully. Yeah. To the point, like Ash said, this was. like the time of AOL. When AOL was brand new, you get the CD in the mail with 23 hours on it. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot. And I remember there was chat rooms were a huge thing. And they were all like labels. You can go in different categories of chat rooms. Yeah, they were all. And of course, there was a whole brand of chat rooms that were called like RPG chat rooms. And you're just playing games. You would go in there. You would chat

Buffy, because you would pick the Buffy one or whatever you were into, you would go in there, you would chat Buffy, and then you would make this entire, it was almost like making an entire movie in there of all the characters, and you got your role and you got to write that scene. Like, it was a very big. That sounds like a lot of fun. Like, you're saying that's dirty, but I feel like that sounds like fun. Because it was a blast. I loved it, but it's like, it's essentially larping on the internet.

Yeah, it's varping. It's varping. It's virtual action roleplaying. It's literally. varping. And that's what this was all about. You heard it here first. Oh, yeah. Me and my friends used to write, you know, fan fiction for it. Like, we were like into it. I was one years old when this premiered. Yeah. So she was like not on this train. I remember you had, um, you had the yearbooks. Oh, yeah, I got the Sunnydale yearbooks. Mm-hmm. You had, you had a lot of Buffy the Vampire stuff. Yeah, I had like posters on the walls.

I always thought it was very cool of you to have those things. I think I like might have told my friends when I was little that like I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer even though I never watched it. Amazing. Yeah, I was like, I want to be cool like, like Lane. I love that so much. Meanwhile, you were like, I was not cool. I was not cool at all, but I felt real cool. And it was, and it was fun. I had a lot of fun varping. Farping has a cool cow. I was. But enough about me, you know, varping in the 90s, which I would say an entire episode about maybe we will. Oh my God, yes. I was just going to say that. Maybe we will. Enough about that. No, I'm going to play you a clip from the first episode, and I'm just going to say,

this is kind of the perfect clip to set things up. Are you ready? Let's do it. Slayer slays, a watcher. Watchers? Yes. No. He trains her. He prepares her. Pairs me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them. And this is kind of a theme throughout the whole series. It's kind of Buffy fighting against being the slayer, fighting against her chosen status, and having to deal with, because she's having to deal with juggling that and just the stuff that comes along with being a teenage girl. Yeah, I could barely do all of that. I can't imagine also having to be the only one to fight vampires.

Yeah, the chosen one. And so this whole thing keeps happening throughout the series where you see her gradually coming to accept her. position and Giles kind of pushing her into acceptance. All right. We got to get into the episode. Specifically, it takes place at Sunnydale High, which is where I know I wanted to go. And I think you guys are all going to want to go there too. Maybe I guess it's a little scary, but it's kind of awesome. No, you're right. Episode one, I was like, where do I enroll? Who do I talk to? Yeah. Can I like never been kissed it and just like fake enroll? Actually, hello, I'm Josie Grosie. What do you think of it? The first episode. I am The first episode, immediately, I was like, okay, next episode, let's go.

And you're like, no, you can't yet. The whole premise of the show is that you can't do that yet. I think you can't get ahead yet. I love it. First of all, I feel like 90s culture, like I've always loved 90s culture, even though I very much grew up in the mid-2000s. But I've always been into that. And I also feel like it's kind of re-emerging right now. It is.

You know how like fashion. A version of it is re-emerging. Yeah, it's not exactly re-emerging. Yeah, it's not like on point. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying. You've given it a shot. So I feel like I'm kind of in it right now.

Like I'm in a place of 90s while watching this. I love that for you. I want to be friends with Buffy. Yeah. I don't want to be friends with Cordelia, but younger me would have. I was going to say, but you like kind of relate to her in a way. I very much relate to her. I'm not mean.

But I can see in your eyes the whole time you're like, ooh. She's cool. Do I kind of get Cordelia? Yeah. I do. I just don't get her meanness. I did not. I can tell you that much.

Yeah. I love all the characters. Like I already want to know more about. about them. And I've already got predictions. I've got a lot of questions. I'm like ready to go. I'm excited about it. So this episode starts, and I believe a lot of episodes start, especially in the first season, with the quote, like somebody saying over it, in every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer. She is the slayer. It's everything you need to know.

It sets you up right away. It really does. And it brings you back to a time of like WB. Oh, right back. Which I think I really only got to experience because I had you. Yeah. Because this was really a time for the WB. Yeah, the WB was killing it.

And this was also the time when they would do these like very intense like, you know, previews and intros where they would have the all the actors from the biggest shows. Like they'd have Sarah Michelle Geller. They had like the Roswell cast or the popular cast, which did anyone else watch popular during this time? You had to have. It was great. Not me. But they would be on like the WB back lot with like the big letters behind them all like lit up like neon.

Oh my God. And they would say something like really sassy in their character. And it was you were ready. But let's get into the episode. So when we first start the episode, we immediately get introduced to Sunnydale High School, which is the smart way to do it because. almost everything's going to take place at Sunnydale High School. It's a big part of this entire series. It very much makes sense.

This is where we're going to meet Darla. Right off the bat, I love Darla. You love Darla. You love her. She's in like a Catholic schoolgirl. Uniform. My first thought was I would wear that. And that's her like uniform.

Oh, she always wears that. She wears that a lot. Okay. It's like her thing. And, you know, like she's very important later. So, you know, Ash. remember that noted and when so she's on like a date with some turd some just like oh god like so skeevy he's really skeevy and he's obviously a human that's very obvious at first you don't know that

darla's not a human either until she suddenly vamps out and that's what they used to call it on buffy they used to call it vamping out that's when they like turned the face and turn into like a vampire I love it. It was always like, oh, they vamped out. That's hilarious. I love that. Because when you talk about it later, you'd be like, oh, do you, what part did, what part was your favorite? And you were like, oh, I loved when Spike, like, vamped out at that graveyard. Like, you would talk, you would say it like that. Like, vamped out. Vamped out. I'm vamping so hard. I'm vamping so hard right now. I'm, no, not vamping out. Excuse me. I am, I'm vamping out so hard right now. Fipping out. I love it. My favorite part of watching this. with Ash, though. This is going to be really fun to watch with you because I love seeing your reactions. Darla turned around and was all vamped out and Ash just said, ooh. I didn't expect it. Because to be fully transparent here, I thought something bad was going to happen to Darla,

which is clearly what they're trying to make you think. Of course. And then it's like, wow, like twist. He's pretty predatory. So yeah, he's dying to get her upstairs at the school that they are, it's a weird minute. Yeah. At this point, you're just like, okay, he kind of deserves what happens here. 100%. What's fun, though, is this is the first vamping out of the entire series. Yeah, they go right into it. I love that.

I love that they make the vampire faces ugly and scary. They are not pretty. They're not cute. None of them are. They're like wrinkly. Yeah, the brow gets really intense. They get the very, like, snarly face. They did it right by making, in my opinion, they did it right by making.

making them like scary and not cute, not like, oh, he's so cute and he vamps out. It's like, no, this is terrifying. Yeah. I don't want that. Because it adds like a different kind of, it adds like to the mood of the show. Yeah. And it sets it up to not be, you know, what we're all thinking. What we're all thinking, you know, which has its place. Of course. But this right over there. This just wasn't that. Now, right after this happens, boom, intro. And can I just take a minute here? Of course you can. This song reminds me of my actual. actual childhood because I was always with you and it was just always playing. I was never paying attention to Buffy. Like we said, I'm watching it for the first time now. But I had the soundtrack

too. Oh, I fully remember that. Like if Ma would send us on an errand together, we'd take the long way back and listen to the Buffy sound track. I remember. Oh, there was some good songs on there. You had, you like set up my childhood just to like be a weirdo. Fade into you, Mazzie Star. So good. Transylvanian Concubine. Like there's a there's great songs on there. And this, intro. The song is just iconic. It's all that's like playing in my mind right now. It's like, dee, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And then I love when it goes, blah, da, no, no. So good. So we start, once the intro is done, we see that Buffy is having these nightmares where we're seeing a lot of flashes. A lot of these flashes happen to be the same

flashes we see in the intro. We see the cross, big silver cross. We see a graveyard. We see ancient relics, a very evil-looking vampire. We also see an ancient book with vampire written on the cover, but it's B-A-M-P-Y-R. So you're like, ooh, that's old. Old as shit. I know that. That's antique. They threw a Y in there, so I know that, and they took away the E. That's not even Van that's vampire. That's Vampire. Vampire. Vampire. Vampire. And this is a book that Giles eventually gives her in the library in this episode. Yes. So all the intro stuff comes back, like right away. Now, it's her first day at Sunnydale. It's Buffy's first day. Joyce, her mom, is sweet as hell and asks her to please not get kicked out of school. I want Joyce to be my mother. Yeah, Joyce will hold a special place in your heart through this entire series. She already does. Oh, yeah, she does. She's wonderful. Great. We love Joyce. We always love Joyce. But when she's like, hey, have a great day. Like, please don't get kicked out. You're like, oh, okay. Immediately like, whoa, all right. Well, especially because Buffy doesn't really give you, like, girl that got kicked out of school vibes, because she's got like this, like, I don't, I forgot what she's wearing in the first scene. I know we're going to talk about it later. Oh, yeah, we are. But she has like a little cardigan, a little miniskirt with a high boots. Very, like, I wouldn't even say preppy. No. It was just very, like, girl of that time. Yeah. Like, cool outfit of that time. Yeah. Like, cool outfit of that time. Yeah. Like, cool out of that time. But she doesn't give you, like, bad gal vibes. No, she definitely doesn't. Getting kicked out of school. Yeah. I would call Willow's outfit more preppy. I mean, that's like the epitome. I mean, that's like the epitomey. Yeah. I mean, that's like the epitimitmy of. I mean, that's

of preppy. But that, yeah, I would say that Buffy was definitely just like really, because I remember seeing this outfit and being like, well, I need to be that for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life. And you know what? We're going to start off the fashion segment with a bang because Buffy's outfit is definitely my favorite fashion moment. I loved her boots. I loved everything about it. She does look really good. I'm going to save mine for a little bit later. Fair. But immediately we get introduced to Xander too. It's nice. We get kind of everybody at once so we don't have to keep adding people on. Right. Which I think is a good way. to do it, just give us everybody important now. So we see Xander, he's riding a skateboard,

not well, because he catches a glimpse of Buffy walking into school, and he almost brains himself on the pavement by staring at her. He was yeated across the stairwell by love. Truly. Now, luckily, this is also how we meet his best friend Willow. Such a cutie pie. She's precious. I can't even handle it. Like, her outfit is precious. She's precious. She seems, she gives off the sweetest vibes. Like you're just like, I want to be your friend. Very much. You feel like you would just be like a very kind friend to have. I do, I do really like her. And you know what she is? She is. The only thing that I hate about this outfit is the shoes. Yeah. You hate those shoes. So much. I mean, she does mention later that her mom picks her clothes out for her. So I mean, she's just going with

what she's given. Yeah, she doesn't care about that too much. She's there to learn. She's at school for the right reasons. Yeah, she is. She's just there to learn and to help people. You know, Willow. For life. Forever. That's all I'm saying. We also meet Zander's friend, Jesse. You know, Jesse is Jesse. I'm not going to give him too much of an introduction.

I would have swooned over Jesse in high school. You would have loved Jesse. Jesse was everything I was after in high school. I would have loved him. She was a cutie butt. Oh, we love Jesse, but we'll see how Jesse fares. Yeah, I get worried for him later on because the brain cells aren't collectively working together later on.

Not so much. Buffy has to go meet with Principal Flutie, who is trying to act like Sunnydale is this place where no one gives a shit about your past. But when he sees into it, he's like, you know what? Like, no one cares about this record. Fresh start. And he just rips it up in front of her. And she's like, wow, this is great because, like, that's a really scary record. So, like, I'm glad you did that.

Thank you, sir. But then he catches a little tidbit of it as he's ripping it up. And he was like, okay. Like, you literally burn down the gym at your old school. And she's like, you know what? Yes, I did. But she says, I did. I really did.

But you're not seeing the big picture here. I mean, that gym was full of vampire. Asbestos. So that's my quote of the week right away. That's a pretty perfect quote of the week. I'm not going to argue that. I remember, like, me and my friends quoting that all the time. Oh, yeah.

Asbestos. She's very quick on her feet, that buffy. She is so witty. She actually is very quick with her feet. She is physically and mentally. Yeah, you know. So there's that. Killing it.

You know. So, you know, he tells her, we're not going to be watching you, like go about your business, but it's clear he's going to be watching her. Yeah. She burned down a gym. So he's got a. It's actually his full on responsibility. She runs into Xander as she's leaving the office and they bump into each other. And of course she drops everything.

And he Bumbley says, can I have you? And then says, can I help you? I immediately would never speak to him again, to be honest, but I'm glad she's nicer than me. It also gets worse. He like tries to introduce himself and he goes, Xander is me. This is Xander is me. You know what? This is who Xander is. Like when he says Xander is me, that is who he is. That's my thing. That's it. Zander is him. And she runs off because she's all flustered. She's late for class. She's just not having a great day so far. And he picks up a wooden steak that she forgot on the floor.

And he says, hey, you forgot your steak? He's like, what the fuck is this? And you're like, oh, shit. So she's in class next. We see that Cordelia is nice to her, sharing her book with her, which really gives you a totally different view of who Cordelia really is. Yeah. Because when you see this, you're like, wow, that was really nice.

That was really nice of that beautiful girl. With a great blouse. Yeah, with the great blouse. Love her blouse in that. Great fucking blouse. But this is an act. Don't be fooled. This is not who Cordelia is as a person.

I dislike how she is like To Willow. Like, I really don't like that. But then there's other parts of her that are hilarious. Like, she's a great character. She's a great character. She really is. Charisma Carpenter is great as Cordelia. So Cordelia's being kind of nice, but then we immediately, she walks out with her,

and we start to see who Cordelia is. Because she starts talking about how she needs to spot the losers, and she's going to help her do that. And she does this whole test of cool. She says that because Buffy is from L.A., she can skip the written. Yeah, she can skip the written, but then she says, here's your test of coolness. Vamp nail polish? Over?

So over. James Spader. He needs to call me. Frappuccino's. Trendy, but tasty. John Tash. The devil. That was pretty much a gimmie, but you passed.

Oh, good news. So after she gives Buffy this cool. test. She starts messing with Willow right away. Yeah. And it's immediately you're just like, okay, you're not nice at all. And I hate this about you. Yeah. She kind of like bullies her away from the water fountain and she makes fun of her outfit. She says, good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. Funny quote. Very funny quote. Not nice. What a jerk. You could say that to like your girlfriend if you were messing with her, but you don't say that to somebody to like actually bully them for simply existing. Yeah, exactly. And she says something like, oh, that must be why you're such a

guy magnet. It's like, get out of here, Cordelia. Bye. It's also like, why do you care? That's the thing. Like, bullies always care about everybody else. And it's like, why? Worry about you. Let me live. Just let me live in my Sears outfit. Who cares? And let live. Exactly. I did see the softer side of Sears and I liked it. So I purchased this jumper. And also, Cordelia, that's, that's bold talk coming from someone who is wearing shoes. that make them look like a 50,000-year-old, random, like, substitute librarian. Go off. I couldn't think of, like, exactly what I was going there, but they're bad shoes.

Those were some clunky-ass heels. They were all so brown, so never. Nope, stop. They're just bad. Maybe walk away, glass house. I don't know. Agreed. So now we get to go to the bronze, guys.

Because, of course, Buffy gets told about the bronze by Cordelia, because, you know, Cordelia is the cool girl. And she's like, yeah, it's like the only club in town, which I was like, you're in high school everybody. Immediately, I was like, what? But you're like, all right, go to a club at 16, I guess. I don't know, 17, however old you are. I very much did that. So before we go to the bronze, Buffy has to go to the library. Yes. This is when we meet Giles. Yes, my dude. Hot librarian dad vibe. Hot librarian vibes. I love it. I would say Giles looks elegant. He's very suave. He's very tweed. magic.

What is tweed magic? I don't know. It's how I feel about him. I would have had a huge crush on him if I was in school. Like, I would have loved him. Right, because you were Willow. I would have absolutely loved him. Still do.

Think he's great. Love his tweet jacket. I have no notes for him. Like, get it, Giles. Yeah. I think he knows what he's doing. He knows what his style is. Yeah.

Change nothing. Yeah, he's just there. Love the glasses. Love the man in glasses. I know and I like his. I would say that they also age like a vampire. They do. Like, I love glasses.

Married a Glasses guy. Lived a Glasses guy. There you go. So we're in for it. And he knows who she is immediately because he is her watcher. Now, he says, he looks at her and he's like, oh, I know exactly what you're looking for. And he slaps that book down that says across it, V-A-M-P-Y-R. The Empire.

Right from her dream, her nightmare, I should say, and the intro to the series. So you know that this is a big deal. And she is pissed. She is not happy. She's like, that's not what I'm looking for. And she just dips. She's like, she's like, bye. Peace out.

And me, I'm like, if he had slammed that book down, I was like, this is what you're looking for. I'd be like, hell yeah, that's what I'm after Jiles. Elena would have canceled the rest of her schedule, cleared some extra time in the afternoon and just hung out with Giles. 100% in the Mier book. I'm realizing now at 36, especially, I am, more and more I'm realizing I am Giles. I relate a lot to him. Immediately, episode one, I was like, oh, look, Elena. That's Elena. Yeah, I get it. Like,

I definitely didn't relate to him when I was younger, but now I'm like, wow. Well, you're, you're wise now. I'm wise now. There it is. Now, we cut to some girls talking crap in the locker room, and they immediately get a nice little kick from karma because, and they're talking crap about Buffy. They're like, ooh, did you see your hair? Like, they're just gross. And they are clearly jealous because Sarah, Michelle Geller's hair, Buffy's hair. Amazing. I would pay for that daily. And you always Well, like she kills it with the hair. She's beautiful hair. She still does. She does. Now, they immediately get a karma kick because the date from the first scene falls out of one of their lockers when they open it right on to her. And he is dead. Dead boy. They are shrieking. When she screams, I believed her. I will give her that. I believed that. I almost feel like they didn't tell her that was going to happen. And it was like it was for real. It wasn't, you know what? That's a very good point because that was a very believable. scream. Yeah, it elicited a real reaction. Yeah, I appreciated it. But that happens. And they just

kind of like cut away from it. And Buffy is joining Willow for lunch outside. We have besties in motion here. And we get that feel, too. You're like, I know you're not going to hang with Cordials forever. Nope. And you can see that Buffy, when the whole thing with Cordelia was going on, she was very uncomfortable about it. She didn't like it. You can see her go up to Willow and just be like, hey, girl, let's hang out. Like, you can tell she's trying to be like, I'm not like that. Right. This is when Zander and Jesse join in.

And Xander is Zander for a minute because Willow tries to introduce them, but as we know, they've already met. So he drops this line. Oh, me and Buffy go way back. Old friends. Very close. Then there's that period of a strange moment where I think we're both growing as people, but now here we are like old times. I'm quite moved. Buffy is like fully ready to file a restraining order at this point.

Fully ready. And I would also be. And you can tell as he gets like further in that whole thing, he's like, well, I'm committed to this. So I just have to keep going. It's like you're standing there and you just want to stop him. You're just like, no. You're like, oh, stop it.

Too much. No game. No game, baby. And this is when he returns the steak that she dropped earlier. And she's like, oh, yeah, you know, like everyone in L.A. has these. It's nobody has mace anymore. It's self-defense. Yeah.

She says pepper spray is just so passe. It is, obviously. carry a steak. No, Cordelia comes in being rude as hell immediately. She just walks in and like just insults them all. But she somehow came over to them and felt the need to tell them about the dead boy in the locker. Right. Which I'm like, you don't even like them why you're telling them, but okay. And she's like, yeah. And she says it very casually. That's just somebody found a dead guy in a locker. That's it. And Buffy is very intrigued by this. Of course she is. Very intrigued. She's like, well, what happened? Were there marks? Like she's like a medical. examiner. She wants to know everything. I love her in this. She's like, where there blowflies. And Cordelia is very put off by this. And she says, a pretty great quote. Pretty fitting. Warbid much. It's like she knows us. She does. She knew we were going to do this. She did. But she's, as we can see, Cordelia is, uh, immediately becoming put off by Buffy. Yeah. She's like, you have weird energy and she does. Cordelia doesn't know what to do with weird energy. She does not. She's definitely threatened by it.

for sure she is. She's like great hair, great outfit, but you're weird. Yeah. And I don't know how to deal with this. Can't do it. So Buffy takes it upon herself to go check this dead dude out because that's what she does. That's her thing. She's always looking. And she finds marks on his neck. Now, to get in there, she broke a door, like actually broke a door. Like a locked steel door. Okay. Like she broke the door. She's the flare. We accept this. Upper body strength times a million. And you will always accept this. She can break whatever she wants. She can get wherever she wants. Like, it's accepted from here and out. She's the chosen one. She is. She's the chosen one. What I was more concerned, I wasn't even concerned about her breaking a door to get in there, steel door. I was more like, why do you have

access to this crime scene so easily? Why is no one around like guarding this crime scene? Truth. Everything seems to just be going off without a hitch at school after this crime scene occurred. Like, don't you think they would be let out for the day? That's the thing. I'm like, we're just continuing school. But again, this is Sunnydale High School. Anything goes. We're going to find out that a lot of shit happens here. And maybe they're just becoming desensitized to it. Just saying. Also, the special effects makeup in here leaves a little to be desired. I was going to say, I was like, you weren't only put off by the fact that she got in there so easily. There were something else that really irked you. Yeah, it was the seam in that, uh, in I, okay. So I love face off the show that like

RIP that show. That was a great show. So I have made myself a special effects like master in my own mind. And there was this like one little bite mark on his neck had a seam running around it where the patch of like fake bite mark was. Yep, yep. And it just bothered me. Attention to detail. This is like the 90s. So it was a little different. But still I noticed it. And I was like, oh, you're better than that. But we see Giles and Buffy immediately face off in the library after she sees this bite. Buffy slams again. She loves the slam into the library. And she goes, okay, what's the sitch?

And that's my favorite. That is. What's the sitch? That's very representative of this entire thing. Oh, yeah. In the time period as well. 100%. It's like, what's your damage?

What's your damage? That's one of my favorite. But you know what? She lets him. know that she isn't interested in being the Slayer anymore. She just wants to go through high school and we see how being, because she kind of brings up how being the Slayer, it brings up a lot of shit with it and that you lose friends, you have to lie to people you love, you get kicked out of schools, you lose the ability to just be a teenager. And it like brings it down for a second

to like a real level that you're like, oh, that does sound shitty. It does. Oh, I didn't think of that. And the super dramatic like a score in the background. Oh, yeah, like that. you're like, Buffy, I'm sad for you. Yeah, somebody just laid their finger on those keyboard keys. Very much. Electronic keyboard keys like, boffy is sad. It's true. I have a question at this point. And you are my watcher. This isn't like my big question, but it's just a little question. So at this point, we find out that Giles is a watcher. And he kind of like explains that quickly. Yeah. But we don't like personally, I don't know exactly what that. that means yet. And my question is, does that mean that Giles has some kind of experience, like, being a slayer or no? No. He is just a watcher. And as we'll see, there is like a watcher's

counsel. Okay. So it becomes, they explain the whole thing, they explain how they become that, why they become that. It's, and it's like he learns how to become a watcher or he's a chosen one in a different way. He learns all about the supernatural. He knows about vampires, demons, all kinds of ancient curses. He's really good at research. He's able to teach. Okay. That's basically like he, that's his skill, is he can teach. He's the brains of the operation. Yeah, he's definitely the brains of the operation. Okay. And he's who she can turn to for what do I do next if she's stuck. Okay. And he can help kind of come up with that. And it becomes more, like you become more familiar with what that is. Right. It's a whole thing that'll become much clearer. Okay. All right.

Right, that was just my little question. That's not my big one. I appreciate it. I appreciate the answer. Hey, anytime. Now, he, at this point, even though he's heard her, you know, say that this sucks and I just want to be a normal teenager, he wants to convince her to keep going because one, she's the chosen one. There's only one in a generation. So he's like, you kind of have to. Like, this is kind of your duty. You cannot retire from this job. You can't really retire. Like, you just have to go through it. And also because he thinks Sunnydale is some kind of portal or hellmouth. Yes. Which this episode is entitled, Welcome to the Hellmouth. And I love that episode title.

It's a great episode title. Now, he says there's a lot of weird things happening here, death, strange creatures, all the like. And he is also new here. He moved here as like the new librarian when she showed up. And we know that because Willow explains that he moved as the new librarian and she was stoked about him. Oh yeah. She was psyched. She was like, he has all these ancient books and it's so cool. Like, I felt her.

I feel like you, you were Willow and then you evolved into Giles. There you go. Wow. Yeah. I like that. Right. I'll take that. I could see that.

I will happily take that. Now, Zander, we find out when, because she like storms out. Like, she's like, nope, not into it. Zander, all of a sudden, peeks out behind one of the stacks because he had been listening the entire time and we had no idea. I was shook. And she just goes, what? That was. perfect rendition of that. He very much is just like, excuse him,

wall. It's the way he says it is so like, what? Like, he's like, are you, are anybody care to elaborate? Like, did I just hear this? So immediately we're like, uh-oh, Xander now knows. Right. Now, Giles keeps after her. He follows her into the hallway, and he keeps trying to tell her, I've been researching this, I've been watching it. All signs are pointing to something big and bad happening soon. And you have to help. And she's like, Bye. Get out of here. Now we get a quick little shot of literal hell.

I think it is. We go underground. That's what I felt like it was. Like it's very lost boys hide out under the school. Yes. We're going through like, oh, this is under the school. This is under the school. Oh, see, I didn't realize that.

I thought we just flashed to like another place. Oh, no. We just whoop right down. Oh, you just changed things entirely for me. Right under the school. Okay. There's candles. There's vampires.

There's chanting. There's pools of blood. there's thrones. You meant pools of fruit punch. It definitely looks like fruit punch. You are correct. I was like, can I get a ladle real quick? Can I just have some of that? Throw a little orange slice in there. Delicious. Zest it up. Oh, yeah. Now, we also have one really ugly vampire. Yeah. Like, really ugly. Very off-putting man. Did not like him at all. And he's like very big, like, very like just beefy. He's too intense. He's a lot. In every sense of the word. Yeah, I am not a fan of this one. And he is chanting, the sleeper will wake.

The sleeper will wake. And then finally he finishes it and the world will bleed. The sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Yeah. And they all say, amen. And I was alarmed. Yeah. It was a lot.

So this is when we see her getting ready to go to the bronze because remember Cordelia was like, you got to come. It's the cool place to be. This one is definitely aged like a human, I would say, because she is. is getting ready to go out. And she's trying on different outfits. And she holds one up that's like this pleather, black pleather outfit. It is a straight up like dominatrix outfit. And I was like, why does a 16 year old have that?

Was that like a really intense Halloween costume? It had to have been. Were you pinhead for Halloween? What were you? But she holds it up and she says, hi, I'm an enormous slut. Yeah. And I was like, oh, it was like very jarring. Because you would never hear that in a show now.

world has changed. It would, and it would certainly not be on like a teen show that they are. But back then, obviously, things were different. Anything meant. People said different stuff. And, but it was very jarring to hear now. So I would say that one definitely aged like a human. Definitely. Didn't age well at all. That was, I think we shared the same segment there, segment idea. Because when it came up, we both were like, ooh. Ah. But we get her walking to the bronze and she's not wearing that outfit. So don't worry about it, I guess. No, she's walking to the bronze. It's dark. She's walking down some side streets. Someone is clearly following her. Yes. Buffy knows this because she is Buffy. She has super Slayer senses. Of course.

She knows. But she keeps on walking. She heads to an alleyway. And boom, she Simone Biles herself up onto a pipe. Literally, it's like the uneven bars where she's just like doing a handstand on the pipe. And like perfectly straight. She definitely is perfectly straight. We don't see it. I just know it. Yeah. And then she swings down. and she tackles this thing that is following her to the ground. And I just have to say that I think this is yours as well. This is my badass Buffy moment of the week. This is a pretty badass Buffy moment of the week, I would say.

This is where we meet Angel. And this is when I am in like Flynn. I knew Ash was going to love Angel. Okay, Angel. You know what? My friend Lynn's. Shout out to Lynn's. I know Lynn.

Hugest Angel fan. Hugeest. Her screen name used to be like angel something. I love it. We were, because I was like, I was a Spike girl. She was an angel girl. Like, we lived that life. I understand it.

He was it. I mean, he was it. He's still like, you know, he's in bones. He's in all that stuff. He's a chiseled goddess is what he is. That jawline could have messed you up. Yeah. I mean, he, he was a good looking guy.

He always looks okay. Are you all right? But I hate the giant collar look, like that oversized collar. He commits to this look like for a long time. I'm never on board for it. I don't like it at all. Also, his jacket when we see him is like the shiny satin fabric. I love it.

But again, I'm not an angel gal, so he just doesn't do it for me. Swoon City. I will agree with you about the collar on anybody else. it wouldn't work, but I'm, you're, I'm going to do like a willer moment that you just had for Angel. It works for him. I will agree. Everything works for him. I will agree with that because I don't like it.

And no, no, I, nay, I hate it. But Angel needs that big collar. Yeah, because it kind of just like balances his beautiful jawline. It's dramatic. It's broody. It's all of the things. It's elegant. It's very angel.

Eleganza. And it becomes a very, like, representation of him. Like, you know he's going to have that big collar. It's, he goes to the same Taylor every week. He gets me right off the bat too because he goes, don't worry, I don't bite. Yeah. And you were like, ooh. And I just like rolled my ass. It's so funny because Buffy is like squared up. Oh yeah. She's ready to fight him. She's always squared up. I love it. That's the Slayer stance. So you're going to see that like two fists up ready to fight. Like one two punch, ready to go. Once an episode at least. Like she is always in that position ready to like just mess people up. It gets me ready for the scene. Like I'm like, oh yes.

Let's go. Oh, it does. She's like on it. And so we meet Angel. He's going to be a huge part of this whole series. And you can tell right off the bat. He's not just going to be like a fly-in, fly-out kind of guy. He obviously knows who she is.

He knows that she's a slayer. He's even got a gift for her. He does. He says, you know what? I think we want the same thing. And she's like, what's that? And he goes, to kill them all. And you're like, whoa, all right.

What's this about? And then he says something about, you know what? We're at the mouth of hell and it's about to open. Then he throws her the cross necklace that we saw in her nightmare and in the intro. And he tells her, you got to be ready. And she's like, for what? And he says, for the harvest. You're standing at the mouth of hell.

And it's about to open. Don't turn your back on this. You've got to be ready. What for? For the harvest. And that's the first we hear of this harvest. That's the first we hear of the harvest. And he leaves brooding.

like he broods away. Just like he always and forever will do, by the way, he is a brood master 2000. I know he is. Brooding everywhere. Brood, brood, brood. Everywhere. Also, the harvest sounds so metal.

It does. And so awesome. I feel like it's going to be like harvesting human bodies to eat those. So I'm not stoked. But when you just hear like, the harvest, you're like, hell yeah. Very much so. And also at this point, Buffy goes, who are you? Yeah.

And he's like, I'm a friend. And she goes, maybe I don't want a friend. And you can tell right off the bat that she wants to be more than his friend, honey. And then he turns around and it's all sassy. And I'm just like, guys, make out. And he goes, I didn't say I was yours. Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend. I didn't say I was yours.

I love it. I love it so much. I'm like, just shut up and kiss. Like, this is Ash's perfect. And I knew it. I was like, she's going to love this meet cute. It's my sexual. attention moment of the week. I knew you were going to love this introduction for Angel. I love,

and I know they're not in love. Like, I know this is going to be a weird thing, but, you don't know. You don't know. You don't know anything. Is it getting a little hot in here? I don't know. You are in the sun. So maybe. Very much. But yeah, this is a very good introduction to Angel. It kind of gives you exactly who he is as a character. Character. Yeah. There you go. I was like, what is the word? Person, vampire character. Person, vampire character. Enigma. Enigma. There you go. He is what he is. Now, she goes right into the bronze. We hear, there's always a band playing at the bronze,

and it was always the band that was happening at the moment, usually. Okay. And this time, for the first episode, they got Nerf Herder, who also performed the Buffy theme song and the theme song to our podcast. I know, it's crazy. We got Nerf Herder to write and perform any original theme song for this podcast, and we're very obsessed with it. I love it.

I could not stop listening to it when it got sent to us. I listened to it on repeat. I actually headbangs so hard that I pulled a muscle. I love it. So this is when I personally get into a little bit of a Cordelia moment because Willow needs to burn everything that she's wearing right now. Why is she wearing that? How? Who let her wear that?

It's so bad. Okay. I mean, I just... I hate it. Willow's character. This is just who she is. It is. And I love her.

I want to help her. I want to have a clueless tie moment. Yeah. And fix it all. She kind of just, she is who she is, like, through the entire series.

Oh, yeah. Her outfits are very willow. Through the whole series. See, I'm not thinking about, like, her personality. I'm just thinking of, like, what I like and don't like, and I don't like this. No, I do not like this.

I'm not here for this. I would say Xander's looks are so quintessentially 90s, guy. 90s skater boy. Like the big open button ups that are like oversized, the big like the almost Jenko jeans that are happening. Like there's the little necklaces with little charms on them. Usually they were like a yin and yang kind of thing. I'm waiting for a puka shell neckl. Oh, there's going to be puka shells galore. There's just, it's very 90s. I love Xander's looks. Yeah. And his haircut, like the mushroom cut kind of thing, like the messy one. Yep. It's very much of the

time I appreciate it greatly. I would have thought he was adorable. Oh, I would have been very ex-zander. So we're back at the bronze and Buffy runs into Willow at like the bar area, but she's just eating racists. I am angry about it. I love, I'm like, Willow, just do yourself a little tiny baby favor. But you know, like they are like teenagers, though. So it's like she can't be sitting there drinking at the bar and it's like maybe they had raisins. Could she just have like, you know, like the bar snacks like peanut like a trail mix even just a trail mix even yeah it's true i i want her to succeed and like i want her you know yeah yeah it's it's a lot yeah it's a lot i'll give you that that's a lot thank you i was you were against me at first on this and i was like no if you saw somebody

eating raisings raisins i can't even say it you can't i can't even bring myself to think about myself doing it but if you saw that you'd be like what yeah because you're just like that that's not helping you that's that's not helping you that's that's doesn't fit here. But she, while she's eating raisins, she walks up to her, strikes up a conversation because Buffy, again, is a good, good friend. And she's coming up and she's like, let's chat. Let's get you away from this bar with these raisins. Now, she tells her, they kind of have a little discussion about, like, you know, seizing the day and being, like, having more confidence because Willow's saying, I have no confidence. Like, it hurts. Yeah, it's really sad. She's just

kind of, like, admitting that she doesn't feel, she feels very inadequate. She can't really talk to guys. She doesn't date a lot. She gets very nervous. So Buffy kind of tells her, you know what? You know, basically tells her Yolo, like, tells her, like, you could die tomorrow. She's like, get out there, girl. Go after it. So she says, seize the moment, like, have the confidence.

Just do it when you can. And this, like, resonates with Willow. You can see it. She, like, starts turning it over in her head. The gears are moving. Exactly. Willow, or excuse me, Buffy spots Giles up in the rafters, like, hanging out watching the music, which is wild. And she's like, you know what?

I'll be right back. And Willow's just left to kind of ponder this whole thing. Buffy goes up there where Giles is. She rags on him a little bit. Tells him he needs a personality at one point. He has one. She's like, you need a personality stat. And I'm like, he has one, Buffy.

Yeah, you're mad. Okay. Tweed magic is what his personality is. But whatever. He's there to make her understand. He's like, I'm here because I need to convince you that something bad is going to happen. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the harvest.

I know. your friend told me. He, like, attacked me in an alley. Like, I got it. And he's like, I don't know who that is. Like, what are you talking about? What do you mean the harvest? And she's like, you don't know him? And she's like, and he's like, no, I don't. And she's like, I really didn't like him. And Ash out loud said, yeah, you did. Yes, you did, Buffy. Yeah, you did. Because she's trying to convince herself in that moment. She is. But what we find out is, the harvest is happening. Giles didn't know about it, which is wild because Giles usually knows about everything and that he doesn't know Angel and that he did not send him after Buffy. So you're like,

who the fuck is Angel? How does he know Buffy? Exactly. That's what I was just going to say. How does he know she's here? Exactly. So he's trying out something and he says, you know what? Can you even spot a vampire in this crowd if there is one? Like you're supposed to be able to do that. You're the slayer. I don't think you're taking this seriously enough. Tell me, can you spot a vampire in this crowd. And Buffy's like, hell to the yes, I can. So she's like, of course I can. So she looks over and she spots Willow, leaving with some really creepy guy. And she is sure this guy is a vampire. She points to his terrible fashion as proof

because she says only someone living underground for 10 years would think that is a look. And boy, was she accurate in that assessment. It was a big collar. I'll tell you that much. It was a big collar and it was a lot of pattern and a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, a lot of color.

So she goes to save Willow. We're seeing our first like Buffy in Action moment. And Willow in Distress moment. Cut back to Buffy, who is going after this guy and Willow. She breaks a chair leg into a perfect steak as she's walking. It sums up the show. It does. It really just, boop, breaks it perfect steak in her hand. Now she does that stuff a lot. She's ready to go. She's ready. At all times. And she ends up running into Cordelia and she almost attacks her with a steak because she thought she was this, you know, this guy. And she literally

holds her up by her neck onto a wall. I was going to say. And she, Cordelia is not having. happy. She's like, about this. Her face. Not happy. It's like, what just happened? Like, Buffy's cool factor dipped significantly in that moment. It exited the building as far as Cordelia's concerned. It bottomed out. In that moment, it was gone. And in this moment, I'm not sure if you have the same one or not, but this is my That Slade moment.

Oh, yeah. I would say this made me laugh really hard. And this is another very quotable moment that we used to say all the time. And I'm going to play it for you right now. is the that Slade. God. What is your childhood trauma? Have you guys see Willow? Did she come by here? Why? Do you need to attack her with the stick? Jeez. Excuse me. I have to call everyone I have ever met right now. And that's Slade. I love that. Just the excuse me. I have to go call everybody I've ever met right now. It's so good. It's everything to me. I really. And the what is your childhood trait? was a very quotable thing back then. Now it seems like it's one of those things that maybe aged like a human. Yeah. But back then everybody would say it's like what what's your damage, Heather?

Yes, yes. Like it was very much a like what is your problem? Like what's your deal, man? Yeah. But really quickly, can I just say, I also really love her fashion in this moment. She's wearing like this gorgeous blue that's like my favorite color. I love the neckline on her dress. It's almost like a square neckline. And she also has this like little tiny bag. The mini bag, which is the thing now. And it's a thing that I personally love. It's an overall 10 out of 10 for me. And her hair. Oh, how did I not talk about her hair? Her hair. The blowout that she got. Was that from Dry Bar? Was that like, where did that happen? I need to go yesterday. It's an enviable blowout. She also just has, again, like just like Sarah Michelle, she has great hair.

She does. So it really, like, you can really do no wrong with hers. So then we suddenly see further into the bronze because Buffy walks away from this whole situation. My man. And we see Jesse. I love him. I love him. Talking to Darla in the bronze.

Buffy doesn't even spot her as a vampire, by the way, just walks right by her. Well, she's, like, a little bit preoccupied because she's really worried about Willow. She is, but I'm like, that's a bad vampire right there. Yeah. That's like probably the bad vampire. Talking to Jesse, who is like your new friend. When this happened, because we see him talking to like a girl with blonde hair, suddenly she flips around in the chair that is a very 90s chair, and it's Darla.

And Ash literally goes, oh, Darla. I did. I very much did. Put it out loud. Darla. I'm telling you, so fun to watch with Ash, because fun to watch with somebody who has never watched it before because you're just like, and it's like my reactions when I I first watched it.

So it's fun. I'm happy to provide you with that experience. I appreciate it. So Xander kind of lets her know. He heard everything in the library because she runs outside. She runs into Zander. He's like, hey, by the way, I heard everything in the library. And she's like, hey, I'm on my way to save Willow.

Can you maybe save this? Right. For a second. And he's like, the way he says it is strange because she's like, I got to go. Like, I got something to do. And he's like, oh, I think what does he say? I forget exactly how he intros it, but he's like, he basically says, I know you're the slayer. I know you think you're the slayer.

And that is something that I really want to talk about with you later. Yeah, we definitely are going to hit upon this again because just him knowing or seeming to know what's going on is like a pretty big deal here. Agreed. But what we see here too is the Scooby gang beginnings. Because now that Zander is getting brought into this, you're like, ooh, Scooby-Doo. He's going to know. you'll get we'll get further into the Scooby gang that's what they're called they call it like they end up being called the Scoobies like cute yeah it's the whole gang I love that it's the Scooby gang too

because then Sarah Michelle later is in the Scooby-Doo movie there you go funny it works out all of sudden we cut back to hell hell mouth hell mouth the mouth of hell where we see that a vampire that is called the master comes out of that bubbling fruit punch which I assume he's supposed to be blood I hate him he's fully closed He's completely dry when he comes out. Confused. Magic. He's bald.

He's like a very scary. He's vamped out like all the time. He's just vamped out. He's living in a place of vamp. Yeah, he's always living in a place of vamp out. Apparently though, he says he's weak and they have to give him people to eat so he can get stronger. He gets a little predatory with it here. He gets very predatory.

Yeah, not even a dash. He says get me, he says basically get me a young one. He says, Luke, bring me something young. Yeah. And Luke is like, sure thing. I do, however, need the master's chair. He does have a very cool chair. It's a great, like, throney kind of gothic chair. I appreciate it. Iron throne, but like a little different. Yeah, like not at all, like the Iron throne, but he's entirely different. I was like, not even a little bit. Iron throne, but just get the idea of the iron throne out of your mind while you make this chair. And just think of a chair.

Cool, thanks. Like a goth chair. Yeah, that's your assignment. There you go. So already we're like, uh-oh, this must be the sloth. sleeper wakes, the sleeper wakes, the sleeper wakes, the world's going to bleed. I'm assuming the master was the sleeper, now the world's going to bleed. And that's no good. Is this the full blown harvest right now? Yeah, like what's happening here? It sets you up to be like something bad's happening and that there's vampires out there that are getting people to give to the master to strengthen him. So this is bad. Now, we cut back to Willow, who has left the bronze with that guy that Buffy is trying to find them. Willow is full blown seizing the moment. She is seizing that moment.

Unfortunately, this is not the moment to seize. Yeah, she misunderstood the assignment a little bit. They're heading into a graveyard. And he's like, this is a shortcut. It's never a shortcut. And it's like, oh, I don't think so. Whenever they say, like, I know a shortcut, the answer is no. They're going to kill you.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. They head into a crypt, which should have never happened. Like, never should have happened. Also, he walks into this crypt and he's like, ever been in one of these? Oh, have I ever been in a crypt? No. No. I can't say I have. I'm not the cryptkeeper. In Willow, do you really think Willow's been in a crypt?

Definitely not. You're really just asking her if she's hung out in a crypt? Her sweater should have told you otherwise. And he vamps out and attacks Willow. Immediately they are interrupted because she's like fighting them off. Darla comes in with a half drank Jesse. And he's saying, I think you gave me a hickey. I think she gave me a hickey. I'm like, she gave you more than a hicky, bud.

And he's like, what the hell? Like the other vampires, like, you're supposed to bring him to the master. And she's like, I got hungry on the way. Funny. So she, like, drank some of his blood. He's not in good shape. He doesn't look good. She kind of tosses him on the ground.

Willow goes over to him and they're just kind of like huddled together. I mean, basically they are gathering teens for this master, which is like a very unsettling thing. He asked for young blood. But you know what? Here comes Buffy. To save the day. She's witty. She's ready to banter. She's ready to fight.

This is our brutal banter of the week. Brutal banter, baby. There is always going to be brutal banter before every fight. It's necessary. It's comforting. You're going to come to love it. I'm excited to know that that's going to happen every single week. Here's your first one. This is nice.

It's a little bear, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows. Who the hell are you? You mean there's actually someone in this town who doesn't know already? Phew, that's a relief. I'm telling you. Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work. Buffy, we bail now, right? Not yet. Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like to barge. Now, we can do this the hard way, or, well, actually, there's just the hard way. That's fine with me.

Are you sure? Now, this is not going to be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content. So for me, this doubles as not only the brutal banter of the week, but also my personal quote of the week, which is, you look like DeBarch. It's an amazing quote. It gives me a little bit of RuPaul's drag race. It gives me a little bit insult. It gives me life. I also hated his outfit. I loved it.

It really worked. Funny. And she delivered it really well, too. Yeah. This is when, as soon as she says this, she just stakes bad fashion vampire. dust. Zander and Willow and Jesse run, because she's like, get out of here. They are quickly surrounded

by a bunch of vampires in the graveyard. Yeah. Didn't end well for them. No, it definitely didn't. It's looking bad. And we get it to be continued moment, but first we see that Buffy is holding her own with Darla. Luke shows up, though, and he

messes stuff up. He yeats her across the room with a force of a thousand sums. He does. He ends up throwing her. into like a grave, like a crypt there and like into a tomb, I should say. And he tells her there's a harvest coming and the blood of men will flow like wine and the master will walk among them once more and the earth will belong to the old ones and hell itself will come to town.

Yeah. Whoa. What do you say to that? You say, whoa. Yeah. And he goes to bite her and then boom to be continued. The fact that I actually had to end here, too, like, you know what happens next. You're fine. You're sleeping at night. I'm not. I'm good. I'm good. I know that Buffy obviously continues because there's many, many seasons, but what the heck is going to happen? What's going to happen? I don't know. Well, you know what? We're going to talk about what our big bad of the week was. This is who we think was, usually it was referred to at the time, the worst, like the bad guys in Buffy were referred to as the big bad. Yes. I believe she is the one who, coins that term at some point? Like, ooh, the big bad. Yep. So who is our big bad of the week? We might

have the same. We might have different. So who is your big bad of the week? Okay, so obviously there was like a lot of moments with multiple people that could have been the big bad. Could have been Cordelia for being mean. Could have been master for being gross. I am who I am, okay? It's Willow for eating raisins at that par. I love her, but that's big bad energy. That is big bad energy. I'm sorry about it. Stole the show for me. You know what, I respect that. Thank you.

I respect that choice. I appreciate it. I really do. I'm going to go with the master because I feel like he's going to, he's trying to like, he's asking for young ones to be brought to him. That's pretty big and bad. But I will give like an honorable mention to Cordelia for just being a bully. Yeah, that's big and bad to me.

And not in a good way. I'll sign off on that honorable mention. Yeah, for sure. So we got our big bad. let's talk about our most valuable slayer. And this does not need to be an actual slayer. It just needs to be our most valuable player of the episode. Okay. I am going to throw you off, I think, a little bit with this. For me, the most valuable slayer was Xander. Because he, I feel like he was very valuable in this episode. First of all, he listens in on a conversation that he probably wasn't supposed to hear. So right off the bat, we need to pay attention to him because he's got some information. There you go. And then number two, that whole conversation where he's talking to Buffy. I think he knows something. I think he's a valuable guy in this episode. That's interesting. All right. I like it. I respect it. All right. Cool. Thank you. Mine would have to be Giles. I saw that coming from 42 miles away for very obvious reasons.

He knows everything. He does. He's great. And he's just there to help. And he's trying to get her like to do her job. He's like, this is your job. Let's go. We need you. You're the slayer. You're the chosen one. You know it, I know it, we all know it, let's go for it. And he's not given up. He's persistent. And he's trying to keep her on track. So I see that. And one more time, he's having a tweet. He's having, he's tweed magic is what he is. He's magic moments. He's tweet magic. And also, I liked that he, he threw like some learning in there without her even realizing it. Like, he did some training while she didn't even realize he was, because he was like, I bet you can't even spot a vampire in here. And she was like, yeah, I can. And she went for it. In his head, he was like, I knew you can spot a vampire in here.

Just making sure that you knew. That's very much you energy. I love it. I feel like sometimes that happens to me too. And I'm like, I know what I'm doing. And I'm like, I know that. Yeah, I just wanted you to know that. Yep.

It happens. That's like older sister and Watcher and Giles energy all at one. I love that. The best kind of energy in my opinion. I would say so myself. Do you have anything that you would like to ask the Watcher? Which is me. I do.

Hi, Watcher. Hi. Nice to meet you. I've known you a while. You have. So my big question, I would say, like my big ask the watcher question for the week is about Angel, obviously. Obviously. So he's clearly a vampire. I know that. Buffy doesn't. She's like, who the heck are you? Well, she probably

knows he's a vampire. But anyways, so he clarifies he's not her friend, but he also gives her a gift and makes it kind of seem like he's her friend. I kind of feel like he makes it seem like he's looking out for her. But I feel like that might be a guy's. And that leads me to my question. Is he connected to like Darla, Luke, and Master? But is he angst, about that for some reason. He's always angsty. Okay. So very good observational skills there.

You nailed him as a character. He is angst personified. He feels that way. Angst, angel. Same exact thing. Angst, angel, alliteration. Yeah. You can say I'm feeling very angel if you are feeling angsty and it'll mean the exact same

thing. Cool. Good to know. And most people my age, you'll be like, I get that. I know what you're talking about. Okay. So, yes, there is a connection between these things, particularly Darla and Angel. Oh, okay.

Just want to say that. Just the two of them. Angel is indeed a vampire, and there is a good and really complex reason for him not attacking Buffy and for him wanting to attack other vampires. Like he said, kill them all. Yes. He's in control of his stuff. Like, a lot of vampires are not in control of what they do.

But he is. But he somehow is. There's a reason for him being so different, and it is going to become very clear, very soon. Okay. a very different kind of vampire. I love that your answer just led me to more questions that I will save for next week probably. And it will become clear. They really give Angel's story. Like, you get the treatment pretty quick. Like, you'll start to understand what's going on. Okay. Because it's very important to the rest of the series. Good to know. Yeah. And on that note,

I think we will end with our wooden stake stab. Okay. Which is going to be Ash making some prediction based only on what she has seen so far for what is going to happen next. So take a stab. Okay, my wooden stake stab kind of goes along with my most valuable slayer or player of the week. I'm on to Xander. Zander knows something. My wooden stake stab is that because he says, I know you think you're the slayer,

to me that says he might know of another slayer. Like there's another slayer already out there. That he knows of, I think. Okay. I think that is a very valid prediction based on what you observed here today. Okay. Zander did make it seem like he possibly knew of another slayer. But remember, he was confused in the library pretty genuinely that what was a very genuine what. He also could just be thinking that she's like a little cuckoo right now. And that's why he's saying, you think you're the slayer. I know you think that you're the slayer, but like I think that you need to sit down and maybe talk.

to someone. Like, should I get you... Something's happening here. Yeah, like, should I get you, like, a cool compress? Like, are you a little out of touch with reality? That you think you're a slayer. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I trust you, watcher. I don't know. What's the sitch? What's the sitch? Well, guys, that was episode one. Welcome to the Hellmouth. If you were watching along with me, thanks for watching with me. I had so much fun with you. If you were watching me watch, like Elena was, what do you want to say? It's been so much fun and I can't wait to keep going. And we are going to keep going and it will be time

for the harvest. The harvest is coming. And if the apocalypse comes, beat me. Okay. The rewatcher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is hosted and executive produced by us, Ash Kelly and Elena Urquhart.

Our associate producer is Avery Segal. Chris Kirk is our post-producer. Music supervisor is Scott Velasquez. And our original theme song was written and performed by Nerf Herder. For Wondery, Emily Feld is our senior producer. Executive producers are Dave Easton, Stephanie Jens, and Marsha Louis.