Morbid - The Murder of Stephanie Scott

Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, I started. That's okay. We can edit it out. Cool. Hey, weirdos. I'm Ash. I'm Elena. We should just, like, not even edit that out.

Starting point is 00:00:08 No, we shouldn't. And this is morbid. It's frat. It's not. Wow. This is a listener tales episode. I don't know if you can tell. We're always very punchy.

Starting point is 00:00:36 It's frit. It's not. It's not. It's not at all. I think it's thirst. It certainly is thirst. And you know what? Here we are.

Starting point is 00:00:45 We were just, we just, we just, we decided to just turn on the recording device because we're having a little discussion and we're like, why are we not talking to everyone else about this? So, hey, you're in our discussion now. What's up? We were just talking about how, like, do you guys just like not give a fuck? Because I feel like it's like a really great place to be. I do give a fuck, unfortunately. That's what we're talking about.

Starting point is 00:01:06 Yeah, we were saying you go ahead start the same. So I was talking to someone today and they were talking about how their friend who was like in their late 60s. or something has finally gotten to the point where they're like, if you like me, you like me. And if you don't, you don't. Like, I'm not going to go out of my way to, like, impress anyone or try to make you like me. And I was like, wow, okay. And I was like, I feel like that happened to me somewhere between 30 and 36. Am I 36?

Starting point is 00:01:33 Yeah, I'm 36. Yeah, 26 or you're 36. Somewhere in there. And I feel fully nested in my, you like me, you like me, you don't, you don't. I can't do anything about it. about it kind of feeling and it's very it feels great I bet it's great it's great can't even imagine um I'm in like my Jenna ring stage right now where I just can't fucking wait to be 30 flirty and thriving and I'll only flirt with Drew because like who else would I flirt with but I'm not thriving and I give so much

Starting point is 00:02:04 of a shit a lot of times like what people care like think about me it's hard not to it is I'm and actually I'm like constantly thinking about what people think about me which is a terrible place to be in yeah we've everybody is in that or has been in that so like everybody can relate to that feeling that's why we wanted to talk about it because yeah like I'm sure many of you can relate to this and we're on like such differing sides that I think we can both offer something to yeah everyone listening well and it's like just seeing like um you know like we always talk about it how like it seems like social media and like stuff is just really tanking it's really tanking everybody's vibe lately and it's like I saw like I think I saw a TikTok where somebody was talking about

Starting point is 00:02:44 this tweet that went out from someone. And I truly believe Twitter is like a dumpster fire now. Like, I really don't think it's anywhere good. Bye. But this person had just written, this person who doesn't really have, like, a massive following, just like, you know, just any person. Yeah. She just woke up and she wrote out a tweet that said something along the lines of,

Starting point is 00:03:05 my favorite part of the day is waking up and going outside with my husband and sitting on our, you know, next to our garden with coffee. Like having coffee. And she said, like, We never run out of things to say, and I really love him. Like, how fucking sweet is that? If I saw that tweet, I would either one, like it and then move on or two, just move on and not even interact with it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:27 Because I'm like, good for you. That's great. That's a lovely sentiment. I'm glad that you guys never run out of things to say. That's love. Yeah. That's great that you have that. But I'm just going to move about my day.

Starting point is 00:03:38 But apparently. Apparently. Apparently. that tweet blew up and people started coming at her being like, oh, so you have a garden? Oh, I wake up and I have to do this and ah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay, no one else's life diminishes what you are going through. Like, you don't have to do that. It's so, and this person that I was watching on TikTok was like, it is so wild to me that people do that now.

Starting point is 00:04:06 And you would never do it in real life. Like, if you were in front of someone at dinner and they were like, you know what? This morning was great. This morning was great. I just chatted with my husband. You know, I really love my husband. Like, it just felt really good. You wouldn't be like, a really fucker. I'm single. And that pisses me off. Like, you wouldn't do that. Yeah. Like, maybe you would. But then you just suck. But that's the thing. You wouldn't. Yeah. Like, no one would. But because there's this nice little screen in front of you and you can just log off and go about your day after you fuck with someone else's. It's such a weird thing that we have moved into. And it's like, just let people. if somebody loves their person and they wanted to say, whoo, I just love this person, love my garden, love my coffee, let them love their garden and their coffee. Who the fuck cares? It's just so wild to me. I don't know. I think it's just like everybody is always upset about what they don't have. And if somebody has that thing that they don't have, they want to take it from them. And it's like, that's just not a nice way to live. And it's like, not how the world works. No. And I think social media and like everybody being able to

Starting point is 00:05:10 say whatever the fuck they want to whoever the fuck they want anonymously essentially and with with a keyboard it's like I feel like it's just you see this kind of stuff more and more and I feel like lately a lot of people I've talked to at least are like yeah I'm just kind of fucking over this social media shit like it's really starting to turn on itself and it's like just can't it be like a fun place like I love like my TikTok's just this fun little little scroll through watch puppies and kids and Bloopie, bloopy. And just happy things and, like, interesting things and just, like, talented people. And that's what it needs to be bad again.

Starting point is 00:05:50 It's like, where did it go? Where do we go from here? But let me tell you, if you guys have ever been considering removing yourselves from any social media platforms and you're struggling from it, highly recommend. Yeah. A detox is good. It feels good. It really does. You're not being subject, especially, like, Twitter and shit.

Starting point is 00:06:10 It's like you're not being subject to all this like, you know, just constant bad news and stuff and constant bad takes. That's the other thing. Like, you're just getting bad opinions on things. And it's like it just feels much better to not be completely up on everything. I like being behind the curve. I do too. I keep finding things out like way later and just being like, oh shit, who knew? You're just like, oh, shit, that happened awesome.

Starting point is 00:06:33 Cool. But yeah, we were just talking about that. So we figured we'd invite our pals out there. there to chat with us about it. I hope that was a good chat for all of us. Yeah, you know. I just can't wait to be 30. Blurdy and thriving. Yeah. I love that for you. I love that for you. You'll get there. You'll get to 30. Hopefully. It's coming. I mean, an asteroid might come. You never know. I mean, there are times when I root for the asteroids. No, I never do. I want to have kids first. I can root for it sometimes. But you know what? Here we are. Listener tales, it gets wild in here for listener tales.

Starting point is 00:07:08 It truly does. Sorry if you heard any. and clicking, I had to adjust my mic. I will just destroy her later for that. So don't worry. If you were worried about it, don't worry about it. Don't destroy me. I already copy and pasted that one into a document, so don't you worry about it. You know, it's sad, though I have to read along.

Starting point is 00:07:26 There you go. All right, so let's start off here with one that is entitled, that one time I went into a motherfucking murderers, creepy-ass basement. Okay, let's start there. Wow, you started off with a bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang. All right, let me bring this up. Hi, ladies.

Starting point is 00:07:47 I just wanted to start off by saying that I'm a relatively new listener. Welcome. Hello. But I've been binging the hell out of your podcast. You get me through the day at my boring-ass job. And you also help me power through workouts after work. That's pretty cool. Ooh, I wish I did that.

Starting point is 00:08:01 I know. I would love to power myself through a workout. That must be so nice. How cool that you can work out after work. I'm just kidding. But that's great. I want to power myself through a workout. Maybe you just inspired us.

Starting point is 00:08:17 I feel like you did. I was literally just going to say, I think you inspired me. So thank you for that. I really appreciate all the work you put into researching cases. And now you showcase the victims rather than the shipbag perps. Thank you very much. Also, Elena, congrats on The Butcher and the Run. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:08:31 It's on my long-ass list of books to read. Thank you. Well, if you are looking for it, you can get it on tiny URL.com slash the butcher of the rent or you can go to Target, Walmart, Kroger, Costco, BJs, or any other fucking store or airplane place near you. Airplane place. That's my favorite thing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:47 Thanks, hype man. Yeah. Anyways, on to the story. This is fucking long. You can use my name and all of the other names in the story. I changed the names used except mine and the murderer. Thanks. This person's name is Samantha.

Starting point is 00:09:01 So thanks, Samantha. Samantha. I don't even know a Samantha. There we go. back in the mid-2010s, I worked in eastern Ohio in the oil industry. Whoa. That's wild. I basically had to test land owners water wells before oil companies started drilling in the area as C-Y-A for the oil companies.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Don't hate me. I had student loans and a girl's got to eat. You're good, girl. No judgment here. This job involved me and a technician, James. Hi, James. Going into people's houses, running their water for a while to clear the lines and taking samples of the water to take to the lab later that day. It's giving Aaron Brockovich. There you go. I also had to talk to the owner about

Starting point is 00:09:41 the water source and any issues they had with it in the past. Usually I scheduled sampling events ahead of time, but on this particular day, we didn't have anything planned. So we decided to start knocking on doors to see if we could find work near where the new oil well was going to be installed. We pull up to this house, and the first thing I notice is shit. Everywhere. Landscaping equipment, barrels, wood, trash, pots, pans, clothes, firewoods, beer cans, liquor bottles, just shit everywhere. I had been doing the job for a while at that point, so I had seen some shit and generally didn't judge.

Starting point is 00:10:16 But this was bad enough for me to judge a little. The house itself was dilapidated, peeling paint on wood siding, shutters hanging by one nail, and a boarded-up window. I questioned whether someone actually lived here. I love that you still went ahead. I was going to say. Still proceeded. I think I would have been like, you know what?

Starting point is 00:10:34 What next house? I'm not mad at you. I love that you did. I'm not mad at you. The other thing I noticed, that's like true no judgment. She's being true to her word. Yeah. The other thing I noticed in front of the house was two mannequins hanging from real actual

Starting point is 00:10:47 nooses. Okay, this is the time when you should. Yeah, okay. I wasn't mad at you. I'm getting mad at you, Sam. Yeah. The mannequins were where, was this, was this Halloween? I don't think it was.

Starting point is 00:10:59 I didn't get that note. The mannequins were wearing high visibility vests that construction workers. always wear. I looked down and noticed that I was wearing the exact same motherfucking vest that the hanging mannequins were wearing. Omen? Probably. Omen? Definitely. At this point, James and I looked at each other and didn't say a word. I knew we were both thinking, what the actual fuck? I told him to grab all the crap from the truck and to not fucking leave my side because I had a weird feeling. And my feelings are right most of the time. Hell yeah, brother. I walked to the door and knocked, hoping that no one would answer. My hopes were quickly dashed when a man with long curly hair, no shirt, and two beers

Starting point is 00:11:37 in his hands open the door. It's 10 a.m., but whatever, live your life, dude man. He immediately offered me a beer. I declined, even though at that point I could have used one. Have you ever met someone who you knew was just a little off, just by the look in their eyes? He was one of those people, but he was very friendly and seemed outwardly nice. He introduced himself as sunny ash. I went through my spiel and told Sunny why we were there. He agreed to let us test his water, so I asked if he had an outside spigot I could use. To my horror, he didn't, which meant we had to go inside the creep-tastic hoarder-down of a house. I could already smell rotting food from the porch.

Starting point is 00:12:19 So I took a deep breath of fresh air and soldiered onward. You're a brave soul. You are. Inside was about the same as the outside, but filled with rotting food, half-empty beer cans, and unidentifiable refuse strewn everywhere. There were paths through the trash leading to different areas of the house. The stench was unbearable. Just this heavy, sickly sweet and sour rotting fruit and beer stank.

Starting point is 00:12:46 Is that what it smells like? I asked Sonny if he was a pressure tank. Are you a pressure tank? Are you a pressure tank, Sonny? I asked Sonny if he has a pressure tank, which is what usually creates water pressure in houses that use wells. They typically have a spigot on them, which is the best place to sample groundwater from since it's close to the well.

Starting point is 00:13:09 Unfortunately, pressure tanks are in the basement 90% of the time. Sunny said he did have a pressure tank and then runs away into the depths of the house. He comes back with a motherfucking goddamn headlamp and hands it to me. Silence to the lambs type shit. At this point, I am so taken aback that I am just an autopilot. So I follow Sunny toward the back of the house with James in tow. Sunny made sure to point out a cluttered desk where he fills shotgun shells by hand. That's nice, I say, as I continue to aimlessly stumble along,

Starting point is 00:13:40 wondering if I'm actually in a nightmare, or maybe hell. It feels like it. Pick your poison. Sunny stops at a dark doorway. I peer inside and I see a dark stairwell. Well, at least what's left of a stairwell. 75% of the stairs had collapsed. Before I could say, let's find somewhere else to sample.

Starting point is 00:13:59 Sunny clambered down the quote-unquote stairs so fast that I wondered if he was a professional climber. At this point in my life, I wasn't into true crime, so I stupidly donned the headlamp and followed Sunny into the abyss. Holy shit. The basement had a dirt floor and no lights, hence the headlamp. I looked around and the floor is covered in empty Kamchaka bottles. Oh, no. I don't know what that is. You know, oh, they're going to tell me.

Starting point is 00:14:25 You know, the cheap vodka that people, me, drank in high school because it was $10 a bottle. I didn't know that, but now I know what you're talking about. I stumbled through the bottles towards the pressure tank, and there wasn't a goddamn spigot on it or anywhere in the basement. I wondered if he lured us down there to trap us. As I was thinking that, Sonny exclaims, oh, you can help me change the filter. And this fucker runs up the non-existent stairs, leaving James and I in the dark. We stared at each other, and he put his hand. on his pocket knife. I wondered if I was going to spend my remaining days a sunny sex slave in the

Starting point is 00:15:00 dark, moist basement. It's a rough thought. Woof. Suddenly, a wild sunny appeared with a new water filter. We helped him change it and left the terrifying basement behind. I found another spot upstairs to sample and finish that part of the job uneventfully. As we were leaving, Sunny hands me a coin, quote, to remember him by. Why do people do things like that? I don't know, man. That's a thing that happens. And I'm like, I don't like, there used to be like regulars at the bar where I worked and they'd like give me some weird ass token of their affection and be like, so you remember me. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to remember you regardless. Don't worry about that. Woof. So he, you know, the coin to remember him by and casually mentions that he's a felon and just

Starting point is 00:15:43 got out of jail for a weapons charge. Why do you, how do you end with that? Like, bye, I'm a felon. Thanks. I politely thanked him for the coin, told him to have a wonderful day. And then booked it the fuck out of there, pulled over in a random field, and bathed myself in little packets of hand sanitizer from our truck's first aid kit. That was by far the strangest experience I had at that job. And Sunny's eyes still haunt me eight years later. I bet. But wait, there's more. There's always more. Several months later, I had moved across the state for a different job. My old co-worker messaged me on Facebook and asked if I remembered Sunny. Of course I did. I asked why. They sent me a link to a news story.

Starting point is 00:16:25 Uh-oh. A few months after James and I had our adventure in Sunny's basement, he shot his girlfriend, cut up her body, and shoved her in one of those barrels in the yard. Oh. I promptly opened a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing

Starting point is 00:16:42 because I didn't know how to process that information any other way. I don't blame you for that. Oh, my God. Sunny, who I learned was actually named Ralph, was sentenced to 20, years in prison for the murder of Tracy Heskitt. I've linked an article for you about his sentencing. Oh, man.

Starting point is 00:17:00 I need a drink after writing that, but unfortunately, I'm at work fucking off, so I can't. Thanks for reading. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you ignore your gut feeling, follow a future murderer into his dungeon basement and help him change his water filter. Happy spoopy season. Sam.

Starting point is 00:17:16 Yeah, Sam. Holy shit. That was spooky. That was spoopy all right, Sam. Sam. Oleg Connole. I am so glad you got out of that. place. Me too. My goodness. Man oh man. My child. My Sam child. I'm glad you're okay. I am too. That was wild. Damn. I was picturing that the entire time you were talking. Me too. I was like watching a movie in my head. Yes. And then you're like fitting the headlamp on like begrudgingly. And him like spider monkeying down the stairs and you're just like okay. I just picture like side galloping for some reason.

Starting point is 00:17:48 Yeah. Like a parkour kind of situation going on. I could picture Sunny yelling parkour at Target. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Oof. I hate it. I hate that. And poor Tracy. I know. Like his girlfriend, that is awful.

Starting point is 00:18:01 Seriously. Thank goodness that they found that she did that. I know, that he was caught. Jeez. All right. Well, there's no good transition here, but our next listener tale is the time me and my brother were kidnapped and forced to go rollerblading. Okay. All right.

Starting point is 00:18:28 There's pictures of it, too. I'm horrified. Yeah, me too. Hey, guys. I have attached my listener story as a put-a-fo with some photos to put the face. to the story. I had to forward this for my previous attempt at sending this, as it didn't send the first time due to my inability to spell. I feel you. I feel that real hard. What do you talk about? Your whole ass author. All right. Yeah, but I'm terrible at Lake Technology. My things don't send

Starting point is 00:18:51 all the time because I forget to like put attachments and things and all that I suck at it. I think everybody does. We all suck. We all suck. It's fine. Hi, Ash and Elena. My name is Annie. Hi, Annie. You may use my name because if you read this on the podcast, I'll ship my soul out with excitement. Don't shit the whole thing out. You need a little soul. Go get your soul. I live in a town called Huddersfield in the UK, part of Yorkshire. Thank you for the pronunciation key. I love listening to you guys pronounce British words in places because where I'm from, we all sound like Sean Bean, and it's weird to hear all the letters in a word being used. I will start how I'll listen to her tale should by saying, I love your podcast, and it's the only one I'll listen to as I usually get bored. I was introduced to your podcast by my good friend Paris. I fucking love that name.

Starting point is 00:19:35 yeah, Paris. Shout out to her. You can also use her name as she assured me that if you read this, she will be deceased with happiness. Perform life-saving procedures, please. Yeah, defibulate. Since then, I have managed to recommend it to everyone I've met. Oh, thank you. I have a P.H. Motherfucking D, I added the Motherfucking. Oh, okay. In criminal psychology, I lecture in criminal psychology and work for the police, but I still use your podcast as a reference point so that at least my crushing debt was worth it. You're a badass, and that's amazing. Crazy. Damn.

Starting point is 00:20:09 I have so many stories I'd like to share with you about spoopy ghosts. I'm also a trained medium. Oh, I'm sorry. Is there anything you can't do? Yeah, get you a girl who could do both. What the hell? Who can do all? Damn.

Starting point is 00:20:19 But I decided the time me and my brother were kidnapped and forced to go rollerblading was the right one for now. Annie, you chose correctly. You sure did. My story starts with a bit of context. Hold on to your tits because it'll seem pointless, but it'll make sense. Cool. I lived with my dad and brother in a different area of you. Yorkshire. We don't tend to leave. After my mom passed away when I was three years old, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:20:40 My brother and I are only 18 months apart, and we're around seven or eight when this took place. We were treated as twins, and so our age is blur in my mind. I kind of love that. I do too. Excuse me. My dad had previously had lung cancer before we were born, which resulted in him having a lung removed, and left him with a permanent cough and extreme tiredness. Oh my goodness. On top of that, he had two feral children who were pure dumb and constantly. constantly breaking things and fighting. Despite being poorly, he was an amazing dad who danced with us, painted with us, sang silly made up songs, and had made up, and had made a lot of our toys. And handmade a lot of our toys. That's wild and amazing. He sounds amazing. He used to have a five-minute

Starting point is 00:21:20 nap every day that usually turned out to be around two hours. During this time, we were not to go into the kitchen to prevent us killing ourselves. And we weren't to leave the house or garden. Good rules, man. Great rules. Alongside this, we speak. spend every weekend with her auntie and uncle to give dad a rest. We lived in a small village where people were a bit strange and all the women seemed to fancy my dad. I love that. He was quiet, tall, funny, and creative. So they were drawn to him like flies to shit. Hell yeah. He also had a dope as fuck mustache. And you know what? He does because you attached a photo and I love that mustache. She's a handsome man. And when I saw that, I said that mustache is dope as fuck. That's right.

Starting point is 00:22:01 At one point a farmer came to the door with a shotgun and told my dad to stay away from his wife, to which he replied, who is she? Which one is she? And also, you need to move yourself before I really lose my temper about you bringing a gun to my house when there's children playing. Oh my God. After this, he also had to go at online dating using the AOL dial-up connection to meet a lady online who was a bit keen. We all met her once, and my dad said on the way home that we won't see her again as she was weird. I had attended in a full Woody from Toy Story outfits. So I couldn't judge on that. And so just nodded wobbling my giant cowboy hat. Amazing.

Starting point is 00:22:42 My brother had gone as a pirate and we felt it deserved effort, as we felt it deserved effort. After that, we would often see this lady driving past the house, despite living nearly three hours away. A small side note, where I'm from, anything that is more than an hour drive is basically inaccessible and doesn't really exist. If you're invited to an event more than an hour away, you have an automatic and legitimate reason not to attend. I'm always astounded when you guys are saying only a four-hour drive because I'm like, what? I also kind of feel that way, though.

Starting point is 00:23:14 Yeah. Like anything over an hour, I'm like, e. Yeah, like, that's long. Yeah. But if it's like a really cool thing, it has to be really cool. And it's four hours. I'm like, oh, I'll drive to that. Anyway, so she kept driving past the house and my dad was a bit like, okay, but we didn't

Starting point is 00:23:29 think anything of it. And because when he asked her, she said she had a family in the next village. One day, my dad had an entire family in the next family. A whole ass family. Oh, it says family. She had family. She had a second family. I'm just adding articles where they don't belong.

Starting point is 00:23:48 One day, my dad had laid down for his nap and B and my brother were reenacting our favorite scene of Pirates of the Caribbean when this lady pulled into the driveway. Uh-oh. She approached us in the garden and said not to wake dad as a dad. up as he had rung her and asked her to take us with her to give him a rest. Remember, we were often told this when we went to Leeds for the weekend, and so it wasn't too strange. She told us to grab our toys and get in the car. Oh, no. Me and my brother's dumb pricks, dumb pricks self got into that car. The fact that this woman came to your home, when your father was sleeping to kidnap you out of your home, she, she's something.

Starting point is 00:24:28 That's so scary. Due to her house being a while away and us being absolutely ridiculous and 100% unaware of the danger that we were in, we sang a chorus of, are we there yet to our kidnap? And also had a meltdown about not having a McDonald's. Wow. She drove us three hours away to her house, where she took us inside and told us to stay away from windows and doors and only speak in whispers. Oh my God, I'm so stressed out right now. The curtains were all shut and we were told to get changed into clothes that she had, ready for us? She then took us to various places like the park and took photos of us. She would then tell us to get changed and go to another place. One of these places was an indoor rollerblading ring where she forced us to put the roller skates on and took photos of us trying to maintain balance. There's a photo of me on the back of a skating conga line, which I've attached for you. It makes me howl would laughter every time because just what the fuck? What the actual fuck?

Starting point is 00:25:26 My brother is not part of the line as he sat in a corner screaming and I didn't let dare, and I didn't dare let go of the girl in front of, oh, I'm sorry. My brother is not part of the line as he was sat in a corner screaming and I didn't dare let go of the girl in front to go to him. Oh my God. I haven't been rollerblading since as I got blisters and was bitter about it. Yeah, and you were in the process of being killed. Right? I understand that.

Starting point is 00:25:49 I love that you're like, it's the blisters, not the trauma. It was the blisters for me. She then took us back to her house and fed us cucumber sandwiches. is. That sounds yummy. And put us in separate rooms, a girl's room with a dollhouse and a boy's room. And these rooms were another boy and girl. And I remember the girl saying, why have you done this again? What? So she kidnapped, she kidnapped other kids. What? Separating us was a big mistake as we were never apart. We didn't get different bedrooms until much later on, as we would always sneak back together. Not being able to see each other. Oh my God. Oh, this is killing me.

Starting point is 00:26:25 And I mean scream. This lady then quickly tried to make us quiet by feeding us more cucumber sandwiches and saying we could rollerblade again, which made us only scream more. After a while, she gave up and led us into the living room together, where she took a final photo of us sitting in a chair together. I've attached this for you, too, as this photo is iconic. The next day, she got all the photos developed and had them framed on above her fireplace. I am horrified. This is like a movie. I am horrified.

Starting point is 00:26:54 This is a horror film. I don't even know what to say. Meanwhile, while all this is happening, my dad had woken up to find his two small children and their favorite toys gone. Oh, my God. Plastic swords on the floor outside the house and us fully gone. Due to being in a custody battle with one of my aunties, another long and dumb story, he didn't ring the police and instead went full-blown taken style.

Starting point is 00:27:16 Oh, my God, the fear. He must have felt. Seriously. And imagine the stress of like being in a custody battle and you're like, I can't call the police because I'll lose them. Oh my God. On the second day of our kidnapping, me and my brother had a discussion where we had decided something probably wasn't right as we hadn't been allowed to ring home before bed. Oh my God. I'm like, this is like literally hurting me. Yeah. Something our auntie and uncle always allowed. We had a brief whispered discussion where we decided

Starting point is 00:27:43 we had practiced playing pirates enough and could take her out if we could find some swords. And we went on a mission to find some. We didn't. Our mission included us doing a lot of forward roles into other rooms and walls trying to be sneaky. I love that you're just like sliving as you're being kidnapped. Finally, as the sun was setting on the third day, we hear a commotion outside and her front door was kicked in. Standing in the doorway, like a fucking superhero was dad. Hell yeah. He had driven down to her town and knocked on every single door until he found us. Holy shit. He had shown our photos around and he had been told that we were this lady's niece and nephew who would be living with her from now on. Someone also mentioned me on the back of a conga line, so my dad knew something was wrong.

Starting point is 00:28:29 Dad walked into the house like the Hulk and began to scream at this woman. During this time, my raggedy-ass self went and grabbed a couple of photos from the fireplace as I decided, I looked quite pretty. My raggedy-ass self. I love that you were like, I look good in those. I'm going to keep them. My dad scooped us both up and put us under his arms like rugby balls and stormed out. Hell yes. He didn't ask us why we didn't run away from her. He asked us why we didn't run away from her, and we explained that she said he had rung her, but we had big plans to kill her with the swords we didn't have. Eventually, when we were home, he rang the police, but I don't know what happened. When we caught back, I tried to put the photo of me and my brother in the chair.

Starting point is 00:29:11 Oh, my God. In the chair on our own fireplace. And when my dad looked at me, this was the first time I ever saw a capital, uppercase question mark as a facial expression. You were like, I look good, dad. I look good. He left it up. But when I went to bed, he put it on the bin outside. However, as we lived in a bungalow, I crawled out of my bedroom window and I got it and waited for him to go back to sleep and put it back.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Oh, my God. This repeated for several nights until my dad was convinced that the house was haunted. Oh, my God. I love that you were like, I look good, dad. Oh my God. So stressed out. Both the photos I grabbed are now in our family photo memory box that we all look back on fondly as if we went to a nice... As if we went on a nice criminal holiday.

Starting point is 00:30:09 It's a little damage from my dad shoving it into the bend and swearing at it to fucking fuck off. I feel him. A few months. Oh, man. A few months after this occurred, my dad laid down for one of his naps, doors locked. Yeah. Oh. Oh. And sadly, never woke up. Oh, no. What a turn. I'll never know the full extent of his experience, but I can only imagine it was similar to a horror film. Oh, yeah. Waking up without you guys. Yeah. I can't eat. My brain won't even let me conjure up those feelings. And then remember, he had to drive three hours away and knock on every single door we could. No, honestly, my chest is like tight. Like I'm feeling like actual stress. Full blown fight or flight right now. Just thinking about that.

Starting point is 00:30:53 that. So like, just thinking of him kicking down that door. iconic. It must have taken everything in him not to like, do something else. Because I think I would have just like lit that entire place on fire. Straight up. I also am wondering about the other children. Yeah, it's like, are those her children? And they're like, why did you kidnap these kids again? But it's like again. Like what? You've kidnapped other children. Yeah. Like, what happened here? Like, what does that mean? Oh, I'm so sorry about your dad. I am too. I'll never know the full extent of his experience. but I can only imagine it was similar to a horror film.

Starting point is 00:31:25 I miss him every day and he will always be my true hero, as I know he spent three days awake and put the last of his money into the car to find us. Another side note, it's funny because when I tried to scan that photo in for you guys, it kept coming out blurry, so I can only assume that he's still salty about it all. I bet he is. He's like, no. He's like, fuck that photo. Sorry this is so long. I have lots of ghost stories too, which I'd love to share with you, but that's for another time.

Starting point is 00:31:49 Send it. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Listener tales usually have me laughing, crying. and screaming, no. That's how we failed, too. This story about the blue boots. I remember that one. That one was fucking terrifying.

Starting point is 00:32:00 And replays in your mind constantly. Thanks for a great podcast, and your correction bits always make me laugh because people can be so precious about stupid things. Wow. Truth. Please don't ever stop being weird. Love Annie. Andy, thank you so much.

Starting point is 00:32:13 And I'll say, wow, like, that's funny that we were just talking about that in the beginning. Like, people are so precious lately about everything. They really are. And there you go. Oh, my God. And he's on it. I love that you guys were.

Starting point is 00:32:23 Like, yeah, we're going to be kept together in the living room. Thank you. That is a photo of us. You guys are so cute. You guys were the cutest. And look at your adorable, dad. You do look quite nice in the roller skating line. I would have stolen that picture of myself too.

Starting point is 00:32:35 It's true you do. As I thought I looked quite nice. The picture of you two in the chair, one, I'm horrified just looking at it because I'm like, wow, you were in the process of being kidnapped. Like you were actively kidnapped at this time. And then the conga line, I'm like, oh, my God. Like those rollerclades with a stranger. And those aren't your clothes. I didn't even think of that.

Starting point is 00:32:55 Just stressful to me. My favorite one is with you and your dad because that's where you're supposed to be. Annie, I'm so sorry for real. That happened to you because that's really scary. But my God, do you have a great sense of humor? Like you made very rarely do I laugh that hard. It's because you're from the UK. It's true.

Starting point is 00:33:12 You guys fucking kill it with your humor. You just get it. And you're all the same way that way, like where you, like how you ended it. Like, oh, God, like everyone's so precious about stuff. Like, who gives a shit? and like so like self-deprecating and stuff in like the funniest ways like you just have great humor. I love it. So I appreciate you guys.

Starting point is 00:33:29 Thanks. So this one is titled Ready. Listener Tales. It says, hi, my name is Kelsey. And I'm a huge fan of the podcast. I love your guys. Listener Tales and thought I would send one in. I attached it in this email, double space put a vote of course.

Starting point is 00:34:02 course, I hope you guys enjoy it. Maybe some young listeners, or really anyone, can learn a lesson from it. Hey, there you go. Love you guys. We love a cautionary tale. That's really nice. Oh, it does have a name. Oh, it's called. Okay, it's in the put of fun. That's smart. Listener tale, don't lie to your mother. Whoops. Which you know what? I endorse. Don't lie to your mother. Hi, morbid girls. My name is Kelsey. You can say all names. Thank you so much, Kelsey. Woo. And let me just say, I'm such a fan of you, Kelsey. Me too. I found your podcast two years ago, and it did not take me long to get caught up. I'm actually re-listening to all your episodes now. Wow, that's awesome. Thank you. You girls have made my long car rides to and from college for breaks,

Starting point is 00:34:39 and my days working at the animal shelter go by so quick. Aw. People probably think I'm crazy laughing my booty off as I drive alone, or scrubbing dog kennels. As a tiny 23-year-old girl, it's a good day if people think I'm 15. That's relatable for Elena. Yep. I have incorporated your morbid safety tips into just about everything.

Starting point is 00:34:59 Yay. I tell my mom that fresh air is for dead people when she wants to open. windows at night and remind my boyfriend that we will 100% get murdered if we take a late night walk in the dark after dinner. Truth. I wonder what it's like to not assume you're going to get murdered all the time. Me too. I love your listener's tales and I've always wanted to tell one of my own.

Starting point is 00:35:18 While it may not be as crazy as some other tales I've heard on the pod, it is most definitely a good lesson of why you should probably not lie to your mom for all the youths that may listen. And just for the record, we are both a lot smarter and aware now than we were in this story. and you're still a youngin. Hey! First, I have to give you a little background on my best friend Lauren to tell this story. We were the type of best friends that met as little babes and were inseparable ever since. I love that.

Starting point is 00:35:44 We danced about 30 hours a week at the same studio and we're definitely growing into sassy little teenagers, as we all do, obviously. We were the type of friends who got kicked out of ballet for talking too much to each other or would cry laughing together at nothing just because the other's laugh was so funny. That's cute. Honestly, me and my best friends are still like that at 36 years old. Like, me and Linz, the other day we'll just laugh because the other one's laughing hysterically. Like, that just happens. One Friday night, Lauren and I thought it would be fun to pull the classic lie to our moms.

Starting point is 00:36:17 I told my mom I was sleeping at Lauren's. And of course, Lauren told her mom she was sleeping at my house. Oh, yeah. Something about our mothers not knowing where we're really going was so thrilling. But the moment, since we were free agents, we decided to drive to. the beach and walk around. Literally for no other reason than we knew our moms would flip shit if they knew where we were. Oh, and did I mention it was about 11 o'clock at night? So we started the 20-minute drive to the beach and the pitch black. Let me just mention I've driven to this beach hundreds of

Starting point is 00:36:45 times so I knew exactly where to go. However, we went on a night that, of course, the town was having fireworks and random streets were blocked off. Oh, that's the worst. Yep. We attempted to put the spot we were trying to get to into our phone GPS, but neither of our phones. were getting any signal. This was super weird. With all the streets blocked and no working navigation, I was getting all turned around in the dark, because why have street lights, am I right?

Starting point is 00:37:11 No one needs to see it. At night, silly me. After driving around for over an hour, just trying to find the damn sand, we decided to just turn around and go back to one of our houses. I pulled into a little parking lot with a couple of cars to turn around.

Starting point is 00:37:24 I pull into a spot next to a white van. Yeah, like a little dumb dumb. By the way, I swear everything I'm saying is not made up, even though it sounds way too much like a cheesy murder movie with two stupid teenage girls. Lauren and I sat in the car for a minute trying to get signals on our phones when I noticed a man standing behind my car. Before I could say anything to Lauren, another man's tapped on the passenger's side window and motioned for Lauren to roll it down. I said out loud, do not open that window. So of course, Lauren opened that window. No. Again, I promise that both of us

Starting point is 00:37:57 are much smarter now. The man proceeded to say that he needed help. since his car wouldn't start. I'm sorry, but this creepy grown man did not need the help of two teenage girls to get his car working. That's right. He did not. I told him, sorry, we can't help him, and we were actually about to leave. The man was not taking no for an answer.

Starting point is 00:38:15 He said he just needed someone to hold a flashlight while he worked under the hood of his car. Why couldn't the man standing behind my car hold the flashlight for him, I wondered? I kept repeating, no, over and over, and the man started to get more and more agitated. As he was trying to convince us to get out of the car, he was getting to. closer and closer and actually had his hand inside the window now. I was getting nervous that he was going to quickly reach in and unlock the car. So from the driver's side, I started to roll up the window, which made him even angrier, as his hand almost got caught in there. He started yelling and cursing at us and banging on the window. He called us so many names that I do not care to repeat.

Starting point is 00:38:53 The man behind my car started to move to the driver's side now, too, which I took as the, thank you, as the perfect opportunity to skirt the fuck out of there. I was just going to say, get out now. Bye. The man got to his car and started it right away. Oh, God. However, he did not chase after us. I drove over a curb with my leg shaking uncontrollably,

Starting point is 00:39:13 and Lauren could not even speak. The roads were now completely open since it was so late, and I started to drive home. Any car that drove behind me or near me on the way home, Lauren made sure was not the white van. Once Lauren could speak, she cried, and we both started freaking out about the reality of what could have just happened. The fact that, like, his car started right away.

Starting point is 00:39:33 Yeah. And that he didn't chase after you. Exactly. He was just waiting for someone to accept it. Yep. Like, he was waiting for the next one. That's so scary. Both of our moms thought we were safe and sound at each other's houses.

Starting point is 00:39:45 No one knew we were going to the beach that night and no one had our phone locations. I was currently in a battle with my mom about how she didn't need to track my phone and should trust me. Ironic, huh? Yeah. So we easily could have just disappeared into the night and no one wouldn't even know where to look. Lauren and I started sharing our locations with every member of our families that night and decided maybe it wasn't so fun to do stupid teenage things. Like sneak out and lie to your moms just for the heck of it anymore. Hashtag maturity.

Starting point is 00:40:12 Hey! I know this story isn't as wild as some of the listener tales you both have read. Seriously, they're insane. But I thought it was a good tale of a lesson learned. It is. Maybe you could teach some teenage listeners to be smarter than Lauren and I were. and even though it may seem fun, don't lie to your mom. Sorry if this was a boring tale.

Starting point is 00:40:29 It absolutely was not. It was terrifying. And I completely understand if you don't read it. We read it. I would freak out if you do, though. Freak out. Freak out. Keep being weird and keep killing it in the podcast game.

Starting point is 00:40:40 Oh, and keep it weird. But not so weird that you think your hot teenage shit and lie to your moms about where you are and then almost get kidnapped and murder by a creepy beach man who tries to convince you that you can help him start his car. That started perfectly fine when you yeaded the fuck away from him. Yeah. not that weird never that weird wow that was scary Kelsey that was a scary one and I know like what you're saying it wasn't like this wild ghost story or something that was terrifying yeah thinking about that man like being that close to you and the fact that they were lying in wait I don't like it at all like started that car ride up so they you know they were lying in wait yeah they were probably

Starting point is 00:41:16 just going to get the next person and there's something scary about the fact that they didn't follow you yeah I don't know what it is it's It's like, you're right. Because they weren't willing to go that extra mile. They were hoping a victim would come to them. That's what it is. They were waiting there for a victim to come to them. Yep.

Starting point is 00:41:33 And that's like somehow scarier. I don't know why. Yeah. But it makes your mind think of like what the next part of the plan was. Yeah, exactly. But honestly, that is a good lesson. It is. Don't lie to your mom.

Starting point is 00:41:47 That whole, I'm sleeping at this person's house and they're sleeping here. It's never worth it. I did it before. Yeah, we all have. But it is so stupid to do. Like, just don't do it. And nine out of ten times your mom or the other person's mom is going to find out. Yeah, it's true.

Starting point is 00:42:02 Because, like, I have already said, I'm like, I'm just going to be like a pain in the ass mom. Oh, yeah. But it's like, just don't. Because when shit happens, like, anything can happen. And it doesn't mean, like, some creep is going to come out of the woods and try to kidnap you or they're going to try to throw you in a white van. But what if you get hurt? That can happen.

Starting point is 00:42:20 But again, yeah, what if you get hurt? What if you get hurt? What if something weird happens? What if you get hit by a car? What if something like shit can happen in an instant and no one will know where you are. Exactly. And it's like, don't risk it. It's just not worth it at all. Yeah, it's really not, but we've all done it. And your parents aren't saying no to be dicks most of the time. They're saying no because they want to keep you safe. Exactly. So just try to keep it in mind. But again, we've all done it. I was going to say, I feel this is the thing I always say, like, when I have kids, I'm just going to have to like lie to them so much. And don't listen to this future. children. Because I'm like, oh, God. Like, even saying that, I'm like, who am I to say that? Honestly, though, I think the better thing to do is just be honest with them and be like,

Starting point is 00:43:01 I got lessons learned because I did it. I think because honestly, like, I think if Ma told me, you know what, I did that once and here's how it ended up. And this is why I'm telling you not to do it. It would sink in more. But then you're worried that you have one of those defying kids. It's like, well, you didn't it. Yeah, that's true. But if you can sit there and be like, and here's the outcome of it. Yeah. It didn't turn out well. And this is the reason why I'm telling you not to do it. I'm not trying to just be a killjoy. Mm.

Starting point is 00:43:27 You know? Yeah. Certain stories have to remain unlocked, you know? I mean, yeah, like certain ones. You know, you're not going to be like, oh. We're not going to reveal all to the kids. But yeah. I think there's something to be said about being honest with your kids.

Starting point is 00:43:40 Totally. I think they appreciate it later. Totally. You know. You know. You know. Well, the next listener tale is, I have a catchy headline, but I don't want to ruin the surprise of this tale. So this is all you get.

Starting point is 00:43:51 All right. I'm in. That's clever. I'm in. I like it. Hello, hello. Attached, you will find a double-space put-a-fa. As I typed it, I read it out loud, like put-afer, and truly enjoy saying it like that. I, too, like to say abbreviated words as real words, and find it quite funny, like BBQ is pronounced Bubbika, and DNA is pronounced Dana. Oh, my God, we say that. We say that. Amazing. I love that. I'm going to start saying Bubica.

Starting point is 00:44:14 Dunna. Babacua. No, it must be quah. Babacua. Thank you so much for the work and dedication you put into your podcast. Y'all are so funny and real. You're truly amazing. Thank you. I'm watching. I listen to other true crime podcasts that are good. Don't get me wrong. But in my opinion, are not as entertaining and do not go in depth as much as you do. Thanks. Keep it up. And I am so happy to hear all the good that comes into each of your lives and send positive thoughts your way when trouble hits your lives. You are the kindest. That's really nice. I would like to keep my name out of this. Okie dokey. Thank you for telling me. And didn't include any in the story just because it isn't my story, but when I heard from somebody else and I'm not sure how willing they. are to have this tale out there under their name. Thank you for doing that. From Anonymous. Anonymous. Hipal. Hipop Anonymous. There you go. Hello, wonderful ladies. I recently submitted another listener tale that happened to me a few years ago. But this is a new story and it just came about a few days ago for me writing this and I didn't care if it seemed like a crazy girl emailing back to back. It's too good not to share. You're never crazy for writing back to back. But I do

Starting point is 00:45:16 want to say, you're crazy girl. You're crazy. But you're not. You crazy girl. This tale takes place in a quaint little country town in bum fuck nowhere or bofu for sure there you go our lovely town has about a thousand people well no stoplights a caseys of course and one and one restaurant i don't know what a casey's is i was literally turning my head to ask you what a casey's was to some it may sound boring and i hear way too often well what the fuck do you do there i always say like true country folk we like to fill our time doing all sorts of activities outdoors and drink beer there you go in the winter in the winter months it's watch TV, read a book, nap, and drink a beer, the simple life. The main component to everything we do, though, is that we always are spending time with the people

Starting point is 00:45:59 we love and creating strong bonds for life. Oh, that's lovely. That's beautiful. That's what it should be all about. Hell yeah. So when there is nothing to do at all in our sleepy little town, you at least have someone to do nothing with. Oh, that's the best. That's so cute. You should bring your town's motto. Yeah. And let's be honest, the wildest things happen when you're bored with your friends, A few bruskeys to be drank and only one part-time pop in town. Yep, that is true. Now that the scene is set. The scene actually has nothing to do with the story.

Starting point is 00:46:24 Just got to set it, though, you know? Oh, I know. One night when my boyfriend and I had nothing to do, L.O.L. We called his parents over to hang out and drink some beers, our fave. When his parents got there with their 30 rack of bush light, we got to shoot in the shit on the new gossip in town. Who got who pregnant? What the town drunk was up to?

Starting point is 00:46:41 How the weather's been? Who's getting married? Who's getting divorced? A town of a thousand gets real big when everybody. knows everybody and you have a thousand people's worth of gossip to share. Ash, just saying you would drown in the small town teapot and swim happily amongst the tea leaves. You already know. You already know. You already know. Oh, I love the tea. I'm such a gossip. I think that's like a Gemini quality. It is. I feel like it definitely is. Totally. Now, my boyfriend's dad is a smoker and

Starting point is 00:47:09 decided to step outside for a smoke break. As he is walking out the door, my boyfriend's mom goes, Oh, don't forget to tell them what you found at work the other day. With the door half open and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, he most casually goes, oh yeah, we found a dead body in the ditch. Oh. And just walks out the fucking door. Oh, wow. I was about ready to sprint after him, rip that siggy out of his mouth, and go full cop-mo,

Starting point is 00:47:31 demanding he step back inside and spill everything in this instance. I can't wait five minutes to hear this. And we've been sitting here 30 minutes discussing why Barb is on her third baby daddy and why Kathy raised the price of her home-grown tomatoes to 30 cents, well, he's just marinating on this hot gossip. Side note to my above statement about what we do in a small town, gossip is for sure number one. It's all in a strange kind of love, though,

Starting point is 00:47:54 like a giant extended family where you want to know all the dirty deeds, but you are also planning in your head a way to help them through their troubles with the best intentions. I love that. Look at that. You know what's weird? I could feel that vibe before you even said it. I wasn't like, oh my God, the gossip. I was like, no.

Starting point is 00:48:11 I feel like this is all because they're like, you know what? What's going on with Kathy? Yeah. Like what's going on here? Does she need some help? Is that why she raised her 30 cents up tomatoes? I don't know what I'm saying. Anywho, he comes back inside with myself and my boyfriend ready to hear this shit.

Starting point is 00:48:25 Time to talk, mister. So my boyfriend's dad works for the county and oversees the roads, such as mowing the ditches along the road and trash clean up to name a couple. One day, he had to be out of town to assist a neighboring county with a paint job and left his guys to mow the ditches. After about an hour into the workday, his guys call him up and tell him, I don't know how to say this, but we had to stop the mower to move a large blue tarp in the ditch, and there's a dead body, there's a woman's dead body under the tarp. Oh, that's how you say that. That's how you say that. That's how you say that. Apparently, they came across this tarp,

Starting point is 00:49:01 and upon walking up to it, saw two feet sticking out, an arm with feminine features and painted nails, and they could see a neck sticking out without a freaking head. Oh. Not just a deceased woman, excuse me, but a decapitated deceased woman. Oh, boy. Hopefully not a non-deceased, decapitated woman. This listener tale would come in. More as a warning to you, East Coast, folks.

Starting point is 00:49:25 We got zombies coming from you for you from the Central Strait, so get your nail-spiked bats ready. Thank you for telling us that you would give us that warning. I appreciate it. So much. Naturally, my boyfriend's dad asked if they called the police yet. They said no, got to let the boss know first, apparently. And then they called 911 to report a dead body.

Starting point is 00:49:43 The local police showed up, looked at the lady, and confirmed that this was, in fact, a dead body. Oh, boy. I'd be like, wow, thank you. Thank you for that. They then called out the local coroner to the scene who also confirmed that they were looking at a dead body. All right. We got double layers here. Well, now apparently they were unable to touch the body or further inspect it and had to wait for CSI to arrive to do the initial investigation.

Starting point is 00:50:06 While they were standing there waiting, new trucks began to pile around. News trucks, thank you. Brand new trucks. We love new trucks around here. News trucks began to pile around, and the roads were beginning to shut down in the area. Another interesting thing the workers found the body said was there was no smell. The body clearly looked like it had been there for some time, and it looked like it had started to decay. My boyfriend's dad said they worked with a lot of dead deed.

Starting point is 00:50:36 that had been hit by car on the side of the road, and a lot of times you don't smell it at all until it's moved. So they figured the same case here. Wow. A little while later, my dad, my boyfriend's dad said he got an update call from his workers who found the body. They called him up and said, yeah, CSI arrived and they were able to identify the body. He said back, what? Identify? Did they find the head? Did she have a name tag on? Her wallet was there? How do they already know who it is? Wow. He asked a lot of questions. They said back, well, no, none of that. We don't know if she had a name, but it's not a dead body. Oh, no. They actually started to touch it and inspect it and found it to be a sex doll. Stop it. That's right. This dead lady was a

Starting point is 00:51:18 couple thousand-some dollar sex doll that was dumped on the side of the road. This fucking thing fooled roadside cleanup, the local police, and the local coroner. I was just going to say the local coroner has something to answer to. Who in their defense, of course, weren't able to get close enough to it to inspect it yet, that this was a real woman. Damn, that must have been a very realistic sex doll. Well, they said a couple thousand dollars. I was going to say, there you go. So if you want proof sex toys have gotten...

Starting point is 00:51:47 So if you want proof that sex toys have gotten way of hand in their realism, this is the story for you. This is out of hand. Now, somehow, the local news did not get a hold of this, or were somehow convinced to not leak it. Since it was considered trash, too, the roadside cleanup had to dispose of this thing. They decided to put it in their dumpster at work, and my boyfriend's dad, being the smarty pants he is, took the liberty of calling the local trash pickup company to let them know this thing looks real as fuck, but is in fact a sex doll.

Starting point is 00:52:18 He's like, just to warn you. They also called the dump to let them know when a headless body comes out of the truck, don't worry, it's fake and please God, don't touch it. It's probably been put to use a few too many times. I'm leaving. It's headless. What is that about? That's a problem.

Starting point is 00:52:33 Like, that's a whole other layer of like, huh? Yeah, that's just like too much. much for my brain to think about. By this point, we're cracking up and coming up with stories on how this could have happened. Did his wife find it and make him get rid of it? Was he one of those guys who thinks their doll is a real person and murdered his love? Did she go flying out of the bed of his truck? And when he got back home, he was broken that his love flew away. Was she actually alive like a sentient robot thing and killed herself to get away from a sweaty, sticky man who didn't treat her right? We will never know. We will never know. We did all come to the conclusion,

Starting point is 00:53:06 that they could at least have tried to pull some DNA samples. Oh, Dena, excuse me, Dena samples. Insert gag. To find the dude and at least charge him with a littering fine. Yeah. Or better yet, find his home and put the sex doll sitting in the kitchen with a signed around her neck saying, I'm back, whatever his name is. You can't get rid of me that easily.

Starting point is 00:53:24 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wish that was able to be done. Legendary. Imagine. Just to give him a little fright for all the freaking drama he caused that day. But who are we kidding? We love the drama of it all.

Starting point is 00:53:35 Because he dumped it in a ditch under a tarp. It's like, you know people are going to think that's a real dead body. Maybe that's why he did it. That's what I mean. Like, that's really fucked up. Yeah, that's a weird thing to do. So, ladies, remember to keep it weird, but not so weird that you dispose of your headless sex doll on the side of the road and confuse roadside clean up the police in the corner that it's a real dead lady.

Starting point is 00:53:53 Oh my God. I love it. This was a phenomenal tale. That was a really, really good one. That was great. That just made me law so hard that motherfuckers wanted to find me. Anonymous, that was wonderful. Anonymous.

Starting point is 00:54:08 Thank you for sending that. Also, your family and your boyfriend's family sound hilarious. Yeah, they do. And your town sounds like delightful. I know, I really love that. Like, that just sounded nice. I was like, yeah. Yeah, like, I want to talk to you guys and hang out with you guys.

Starting point is 00:54:22 I want to hear your tea. You're right. I want to hear your tea. If I was sitting in that kitchen, I would have been like writing shit down. I would have been all over that like white on rice. Oh, yeah. She would have been all over it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:33 All right. Let's see. We're just vamping a little bit right now because we're transporting this into a doc. I was trying to copy and paste it into a document, but here we are. Here we are. This one, and it's probably the last one we'll do, is how I learned that keeping a corpse in your closet isn't normal. Everybody should learn that lesson at one point in their life, right? Interesting.

Starting point is 00:54:54 Interesting thing to learn, you know? Yeah, one might say. All right, here we are. Hi, Elena and Nash. I absolutely adore your podcast. For my listener tale, I'd like to share a tidbit. about my hometown. Growing up, this seems super normal, and it wasn't until I moved to New Hampshire, and, hey, New Hampshire, and mentioned speedy to my coworkers that I realized my hometown isn't exactly

Starting point is 00:55:15 average. I grew up in a small Kentucky town. For reference, it's about halfway, I love that this is like small town tales. I know, right? For reference, it's about halfway between possum trot and monkey's eyebrow. All right. Obviously, with that cosmopolitan frame of reference, everyone should know exactly where I'm referencing, L.O.L. I stand by my belief that you should have to have a passport in order to travel south of the Mason-Dixon line, and this story firmly supports that conclusion. Oh my God, I'm dying. Picture it. It's the 1920s and somewhere in Egypt, nosy white people are cracking open the great pyramids and wrecking everybody else's peace. Interest in all things Egyptian has hit a fevered pitch. Fun fact, back when people used to ingest mummy powder,

Starting point is 00:55:59 literally, excuse me, back then people used to ingest mummy powder, literal crushed mummy for health. That's not healthy. That's fucked up. Inspired by the incredibly well-preserved mummies that seem to be appearing daily in the local newspaper, a funeral director in our sleepy Kentucky town decided to try his hand at long-term's corpse storage. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Armed with what I can only imagine was his own version of KFC's famed 11 herbs and spices.

Starting point is 00:56:29 He said about finding the perfect recipe for eternal preservation. But alas, he had no way of testing it. That was. Until a local man nicknamed Speedy drowned in the Ohio River, RIP Speedy. Legend has it that with no close kin to claim his body, Speedy was slated to be buried in a pauper's grave. Now, to save Dear Speedy from this sad fate,

Starting point is 00:56:51 the funeral director did what anyone would have done, eye roll, and promptly called dibs on the body. Because, of course. I don't know if you can call dibs on a whole ass bod. Sounds like this guy did. Well, to the funeral director's great joy, his special formula worked, and Speedy's body was transformed from a typical mushy mortal vessel to a statuesque form, resembling wood with a reddish hue. Now, as horrifying as this sounds, the good director did keep things classy and dressed

Starting point is 00:57:20 dear Speedy in a nice tuxedo. This is so weird. Apparently the line between desecration of a corpse and scientific achievement is a trip to men's warehouse. I guess so. He was towing that damn line. As the kids would say, the director opted to keep it Gucci. I am done. I love you. The director opted to keep it Gucci. Now, the director couldn't just leave Dear Speedy in his facility. No, that would be terribly disrespectful. So instead, he carefully transported Speedy to his home and propped him up in his bedroom closet. Yes, that is not disrespectful. Right next to the Mrs. Good church clothes. Word quickly got round town of the director's prolific achievement, and before he knew it,

Starting point is 00:58:05 curious townsfolk began dropping by for a peep at old Speedy. Oh my God. The director would happily oblige and run to his closet to fetch him out. Before long, Speedy became an unexpected source of town pride. He became the guest of honor at all of our town events. No. Shut the fuck up. No, the next sentence. No the next sentence. Stop it. It became a cherished part of every child. 's fourth grade year to take the school sponsored pilgrimage to the director's home and get their picture taken with dear old Speedy tux and all. I am at a loss for words. Loss.

Starting point is 00:58:47 I didn't even know. In fact, Speedy even became a national point of intrigue and made appearances on such 80s hit TV shows as Sally Jesse Raphael and Ripley's believe it or not. I never even heard of this. Pictures of Speedy still grace many of the town's publications, and of course, live forever on the internet. Oh, my God. Fast forward to the 1990s, the director passes away.

Starting point is 00:59:10 Oddly enough, without enduring the same mummification process that made him a town hero. Huh. Mrs. Director took this as the opportunity to do what one can only assume had been her goal for the past 69 years. Clean out her closet. Oh, my God. Allegedly, she did what all mothers do. She asked her now adult children to see who.

Starting point is 00:59:28 who would like their father's old clothes, as well as his hobby corpse. Oh, my God. Surprisingly. I'm just like out of loss. Surprisingly, while space could be made in their respective homes for his clothes and other personal effects, no one could make room for dear Speedy. It was only then the decision was made to give poor Speedy the proper burial that he had been denied for nearly seven decades.

Starting point is 00:59:50 Oh, my God. Until I moved, I genuinely had no idea how strange this story was. Right? It never occurred to me that other towns simply don't have their own celebrity corpse. While this quote unquote cultural divide between New Hampshire and my hometown has made making friends a little tougher than anticipated, my coworkers have earnestly assured me that this tidbit about my upbringing, quote, explains a lot. Luckily, I don't think they hold it against me. I guess Kentucky truly does keep it weird. You certainly took the cake for that right there.

Starting point is 01:00:27 And it's Jen. Jen, that is amazing. Wowy Kazawi to that. That is amazing. That's fucking great. Wow. I am just, I don't even know what to say. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:39 I don't even know what to say. Yeah, I don't know. That's something. Wow, you guys were funny as fuck today. You're always funny as fuck, but I don't know. It was something about today. Yeah, you guys are just the best. You guys are funny as hell.

Starting point is 01:00:52 Oh, my God. These are like brought to you. you, buy you, for you from you and all about you, but also for us. It's true. I got to fit that in there somewhere. I love listener tales. Like, this keeps me breathing. Oh, it's a highlight of the week. And the fact that we get to do it every week now, it brings us to a place of lull, a place of shock. A place of happy. Everything. And we appreciate you. A place of whoa. A place of, oh my God, So thanks, guys, and keep sending them in. And we hope that you keep listening.

Starting point is 01:01:27 And we hope you keep it weird. Weird. Oh, you did it. Ticked you. Oh, that was scary. I'm thrown off. Bye. Bye.

Morbid - The Murder of Stephanie Scott

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