Morbid - The Rescue of Baby Jessica McClure

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

On October 14, 1987, Reba McClure and her eighteen-month-old daughter, Jessica, stopped by the Midland, Texas home of her sister for a visit. As Reba sat in the backyard watching Jessica play with some neighborhood children, she heard the phone ring and went inside to answer it. When McClure returned to the backyard a few minutes later, she saw the other children staring at the ground on the far-side of the yard, but Jessica was nowhere to be seen. To Reba McClure’s absolute horror, while she was inside on the phone, Jessica had fallen twenty-feet down into the well on her sister’s property and become lodged in a section only fourteen-inches wide. Rescue teams arrived at the house not long after Jessica fell into the well, but the situation proved far more complicated than anyone had expected; they needed to dig a parallel shaft to rescue the girl, but any amount of significant vibration in the earth could have collapsed the well entirely. In the early days of cable news twenty-four-hour news coverage, the rescue of Jessica McClure became one of the most watched events in the United States. However, while the rescue of the girl was everyone’s primary concern, the wall-to-wall coverage itself quickly became a major part of the story, as ordinary smalltown Americans were shoved into the spotlight and questions over rights to the story (and rights to privacy) took center stage. References Belkin, Lisa. 1988. "Baby Jessica's rescuers fighting over TV rights." New York Times, March 24. Bone, Mark, and Gregory Rosati. 2021. How 58 hours in Midland, Texas, changed the future of TV news. July 30. Accessed March 24, 2026. https://edition.cnn.com/2021/07/30/opinions/baby-jessica-cnn-films-shorts-mark-bone-opinion. Comiter, Jordana, and Carolina Blair. 2025. Where Is ‘Baby Jessica’ Now? Inside Her Life 38 Years After Her Harrowing Rescue from a Texas Well. October 16. Accessed March 24, 2026. https://people.com/all-about-baby-jessica-life-now-11830322. Crimmins, Patrick. 1987. "Toddler's rescue 'matter of time'." Midland Reporter-Telegram, October 16: 1. Hillrichs, Julie. 1987. "Naps, choruses of nursery song help toddler endure her ordeal." Midland Reporter-Telegram, October 16: 1. Kennedy, J. Michael. 1987. "Jessica makes it to safety-after 58 1/2 hours." Los Angeles Times, October 17: 1. Lunsford, Lance. 2024. Inside the Well: The Midland, Texas Rescue of Baby Jessica. Lubbock, TX: Texas Tech University Press. Madigan, Tim. 1987. "Rescue just agonizing inches from sobbing girl in Midland well." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, October 15: 1. —. 1987. "Town shares emotion of toddler's relatives." Fort Worth Star-Telegram, October 16: 1. Nye, Ramona. 1987. "Jessica free, under doctors' care." Midland Reporter-Telegram, October 17: 1. Pitts, John Paul. 1987. "Concerned people give of themselves for Jessica." Midland Reporter-Telegram, October 17: 1. Thomas, Evan, and Peter Annin. 1997. "'Baby Jessica' grows up." Newsweek, October 27: 34. Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022)Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023)Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash KelleyListener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra LallyListener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, weirdos. I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is morbid. It is with Lindsay Lohen. Lindsay Lohen or low hand. You decide. I am back. No, this is just, sorry about my voice. It's saucy and spicy again. Yeah, it's a lot. But I'm just still, we're in that fun time of year where me and the kids are just throwing back and forth illnesses. It's a lot. It's a lot. of fun. It's really gross up in here. Yeah, it's one of the, I saw a TikTok the other day where parents were like, this household has gone how many days without illness? Zero. And I saw, it said two days and they were erasing the two to say zero. And I was like, that is the realest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. Because people without kids are like, people who haven't been around kids will be like, why you're sick. And they like, don't believe you. Yeah, and they don't believe you. And they want to just be like, you're gross. And it's like, no, like, this is reality is you just

live in a petri dish for some parts of the year. Yeah. And this is that part of the year. For most parts of the year, really. Yeah. This especially is the like Primo. Yeah. Flu season is when it gets, it really gives it its all. That's why nobody really likes, well, like, I don't know, I'm generalizing, but nobody really likes this part of winter, like January, February, March. It's tough.

It's rough, yeah. I used to like it. I don't like it so much now that. You used to? Yeah, now that I'm like, you know, passing around germs with the fam. Yeah. But yeah, we're going to see. how far we can get into this before I have to cough again. Yay.

Which is right now. She said right now. Yep, had to pause really quick. You got that tail end of a cough probably. But you know, we're going to start right in because I don't know how far I can get and how long this will take to get there. So we're going to talk today about something a little different. There's mystery here.

There's a disappearance here. There's some spooky tales here. But it is the disappearance of Theodosia. Burr Alston. Now, in case you don't know, Theodja Burr is in fact the daughter of Aaron Burr. Imagine that. Of Hamilton fame. This is going to be really hard for me not to sing Hamilton songs, but I think I will be aided by the fact that if I sing, I will cough. So thank you, Lord. I was just going to say, so this is really just to everybody's benefit. Someone up there is looking over us, guys. They are. So maybe I'll just speak some of the lines every once in a while. Spoken word. But this is a very

interesting one because it is still unsolved. We don't know what happened to Theodosje Berr. Oh. Which is very interesting. It's like, um, what was the one that you did where it was like that? And you went through all like the ship manifestos and all that. Oh, yeah. Shenanigans. Um, the ship manifest. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's, um, Dorothy Arnold. Oh, yep, yep, yeah. That was fun. That was a lot of fun and sad. But that was, we'll just have like similar vibes. A little bit. That, That one was a little easier because there was actual, like, easier records to find. But this is like we're talking about, you know, the birth of the nation time here. So this is like a little harder.

We're going to get into more theories. But with a little bit, there is some stuff to back up some of the theories. Okay. So let's start at the beginning. Or not even at the beginning. Let's start at the act itself. Okay. This happened on December 31st, 1812.

Damn. Theodosia Burr Alston, who like I see, said is the daughter of former vice president and relatively notorious founding father, Aaron Burr, boarded a schoonership aptly named Patriot. Ah. She was on her way to New York from South Carolina. She was going to meet her father, Aaron. They had planned a meeting, and that's why she was going to New York.

Because as we'll talk about, Aaron had just come back from being a little bit of a runaway in Europe a little bit for some little reason. so he was back, so she wanted to visit him. But once the ship had left port in South Carolina, that was the last time anyone would see Theodosia Burr, or the Patriot again. Ship was gone. Yeah. So Theadoja, in case, like I said, in case you don't know who this is,

she was born into American aristocracy when this all began. She lived a life young women could only dream of at the time. She was an aristocrat. She was an aristocrat. She was the daughter of one of our founding fathers, America's founding fathers, and she was literally there for the birth of our nation, which is pretty wild when you think about it. And what's even worse is that, like, so she's there for the birth of a nation. Her father is, like, participating in all this. And then she's there for the unprecedented scandal that followed her father's trial for treason. So, but either way, we're going to see that there's, like,

As I was reading this, I was like, no one's ever just good, huh? No. And I'm not talking about Theodosha. I'm talking about Aaron Burr. Like, obviously, we know, if you know who Aaron Burr is, you probably know the one thing about him, which is he shot and killed Alexander Hamilton. Yeah. That's probably what you know about him, and he was tried for treason. But when you learn about how he was as a father and how he was as a husband, you're like, for a minute, you're like, wow, like, you're just such a good guy, which, like, maybe he was.

But like, then you get these little snips that you're like, God damn it, no one's ever nice. You're like, fuck you. It's really well. It's just like, damn it, America. But either way, she was here for all of that. But as an adult, she married Joseph Alston. So she didn't stray far away from politics because she had a childhood of political importance, or at least very, you know, right next to political importance.

Now she was the wife of a rising political star, which at this time would have given her, at the very released a pretty subtle role in post-colonial politics right up until her disappearance. Because that was only a few months into the war of 1812 when she disappeared. So for two full centuries, we have no idea what has happened to Theodosia Burr. Like we are all still scratching our head for answers. To this day, we don't know what happened. All we can think of was she kidnapped by pirates? That's a very real... That's a very real possibility. And they just, like, destroyed the ship.

Yeah. Like, or they took the ship, and we just didn't see it again. They took off the Patriot name, and we don't know that it's there. You know, was the ship lost at sea without a trace? Was there some kind of weather event? We're going to talk about that? What happened? Where is she?

So, let's go back to the beginning. Theodosia Burr was born to Aaron Burr and Theodosia Prevobar in Albany, New York. on June 21st, 1783. She was actually born just six months before the end of the American Revolution. Holy shit. Quite a birth. Her father, like we said,

was already pretty well known. He had a lot of power, a lot of influence. And he had actually entered the war as a volunteer soldier, but he had quickly risen to the rank of lieutenant colonel by the time that he was then forced to resign from the continental army in 1776. But outside of all the military stuff, Aaron was known to be super hardworking, really influential.

He went after what he wanted, especially he had a successful law practice. Yeah. He maintained a really big social network that really had some of the most powerful people in New England in it. So he was living. He was living. One might say, it's living. There you go. One being who, Parasilton.

Of course. You got to get into, didn't she, did she trademarked that, right? we got to like, anytime you say you have to be like T.M. Parasolitan. Yes, of course. So. I think she did anyway. Maybe she might as well. So Theodosia's parents had a somewhat unconventional path to marriage, especially for colonial era people.

Where they were living? So has anyone seen Hamilton? Raise your hands. Yes, raised. Now, Aaron and his wife, Theodosia Sr., met while Theodosia Sr. met while Theodosia Sr. was still married to a man named. Jacques Prevaux, who was a British officer with the Royal American Regiment. That's never good.

Remember that part of Hamilton where Burr sings? Theodosia writes me a letter every day. I'm keeping her bed warm while her husband is away. Oh. And then it says, yeah. He's on the British side in Georgia. He's trying to keep the colonies in line. But he can keep all of Georgia.

Theodosia, she's mine. Ooh, sauce. I kind of love their love. Yeah, it's like, it's a. a, it's a, what's the word? Is it like star-crossed lovers? Is that, yeah. It's like very Romeo and Juliet.

You're not supposed to be together. I do love their love. I have to say that. So after Prevaux's unexpected death from yellow fever in 1871, which by the way, throughout this entire thing, they very openly had an affair. Yeah. It was, it was like happened. I mean, did you, you said those lyrics.

I heard them. Yeah, like, keeping the bed warm while I heard. Yeah. Like, it's very obvious. It's fine. I want the girl. But they ended up marrying after he died. He kicked it.

They were like, all right, it's our time now. Aaron played the long game. You know, rip. He did. You know, rip. Despite the couple carrying, again, like I said, an open affair before he died. You know what? They really didn't really get a ton of shit for it.

Yeah. Which is pretty cool. You know, they made a lot of sacrifices, like patriotic sacrifices during the war that I guess people kind of were like, all right, we can still respect you. Okay. We can still hang out with you. They admired them. Their social circle really didn't fall apart at this time.

Good. Of course. There was a little bit of gossip. It's not like people were like, oh, we don't give a shit at all. Yeah. Well, there also was like not that much to talk about anyway. So, like, of course you're going to talk about that. So I think it was one of those things where it was like everybody was just like, oh shit.

Like you had an affair with a fucking British officer's wife. That's wild, but like, do you want to come to this dinner party? Like, it was like, whatever. Like, hey, Aaron's coming. He has street crits. street cred now. Now usually people back then were marrying for very practical reasons. That was why you got married. It was for station. It was for getting you in a better situation. But they legit married purely out of love. Oh. Which and like love, mutual respect and just like their

their likes and dislikes were very aligned. They had like very much an intellectual companionship. Like this was one of those things where you look at it and you go, yeah, that was like, fate. You know what I mean if you believe in fate? Of course I do. These were soulmates. I feel like they were meant to see each other. They both shared a real love of arts and culture that wasn't really common at the time. And for like a woman and a man to find each other. And that was very, yeah, and it was cool.

And I mean, Burr adored his wife and everyone knew that around them. Like after Little Theodosia's birth in 1780s. he lost his mind, like he, in like a good way. Like he just, and everybody was like, the love he had for his wife just trickled right down

into his daughter. And historians have actually said it was the soul, that she was the soul of her father's soul. Oh. That's how they were, like... How beautiful is that? Isn't that really beautiful?

And like a man said that? Now, unfortunately, the birth of young Theodosia was very traumatic for both mother and baby. as was a lot of births back then. Yeah. But this one was really bad. They both did recover,

but Theodosje's senior dealt with a lot of after effects. And when they did, Burr moved, like when they were, you know, both up and running, Burr moved his family from Albany to a rented house

at number three Wall Street, where his law practice could really grow just exponentially faster. And during that period, Aaron Burr became one of the most sought-after lawyers in New York. He earned a ton of money

And the good news with this was, in his case, was that now he got to spend time with his family. He didn't have to be away from them traveling all the time at the time. And he could really invest in their future, make sure that they were set up. Beautiful. At the time, he was killing it. He's operating his own legal practice. He's serving as a New York State Assemblyman between 1784 and 85. And Theodosia Sr., like I said, was unfortunately dealing with a lot of after effects from the traumatic birth.

So at the time he was limiting himself traveling and would just kind of remain at home and tend to his family, which was a little different. And when they were apart, Burr would just write love letters. Beautiful. To his wife and to his daughter. I love a good love letter. These letters were just like them talking about how much they loved and missed each other, all of them, like all three of them. Like the sweetest thing ever. Yeah, that's beautiful.

So in 1785, Theodosia Sr. gave birth to a second daughter, who they named Sally. Cute. Now, before Sally and after Theodosia, the Burrs had dealt with two stillbirths, tragically, yeah. So Sally was celebrated immensely, just like little Theodosia was. She's like a rainbow baby. Yeah. And although Burr was traveling a lot during this time, he really did try to spend as much time as he could with his family and just kind of keeping up what was happening in New York. but unfortunately in 1788 Sally ended up dying of an unknown illness Oh shit

Yeah and it was only what three years after I think she was only three or four she was young Yeah so after Sally's death young theodosia Became even more the apple of her parents Of course more lavish with attention and praise than ever And Burr just exploded all over her whenever he could In a good way And her parents said like he didn't just like scream at her

Her parents were just so thankful to still have her. And the Burr has put a lot of attention on her education as well, which was different for girls of that time. 100%. Burr was actually the main teacher for Theodosia, but Theodosia Sr. took over when he had to travel. And she took classes in reading, dance, music. That's very much what young girls would be learning back then. But much unlike young girls of her age at the time, Aaron insisted that she also have classes in math. writing and language.

Good. He wanted his daughter to have everything she needed or wanted in this life, and he knew that she needed to be prepared. And she also needed

to carry on the legacy of him being a very well-educated man. So it was like a double-sided thing here. But his letters, while he was away,

would often just be him being like, how is her education progressing? Do you need any help? He would offer to, like, hire tutors at like

twice the amount just to make sure she could like keep up with everything. And she would, was actually able to read and write pretty fluently by five years old. Holy shit. Like, not like, oh, I'm starting to learn how to read at five. It's like, no, I can literally read anything you give me. Pop off, Theo. Yeah. And again, like I said, this was kind of a double thing. Like,

he loved his daughter. He wanted his daughter to be whatever she wanted to be. But again, according to Richard Cody, who is a historian, he said, quote, Theodosia's education was a direct extension of her fathers. So the drive for her to succeed was definitely also, it was one, I want you to be a well-educated free thinker on your own, but it was also you need to uphold my reputation. Yeah, which I get. But, you know, he also had a lot of instruction for her like, this is how you are a good person, which is good. This is how you teach your kid to be a good person. You don't lie. You don't cheat. You don't steal. It didn't always extend to his own life. Yeah, no, because he, which, Could be a problem.

Yeah. Because while he was away, as much as he loved his wife, he had several extramarital affairs. Not great. And that's what I mean when I say, like, you were doing so good. Right. Why do you have to cheat on your wife? That's never a good choice. Why do you have to cheat on your sick wife?

Worst choice. Like, come on, man. Like, why can't you all? Why can't you just be good? Like, fully, like, fully good. But I guess no one can, but, like, bummer. So great father loved Theodosia Senior, but like he was a founding father. So there was a father or like, you know, like in that realm.

Oh yeah. So there's that. So in 1789, Aaron Burr became the third attorney general of New York, which luckily meant he was going to have to travel less. So that's great. And his background in law and his huge network of super powerful political friends made him an instant success in the political realm. But there was a lot of pressure. And it was taking a huge toll on his health. Like he was exhausted. He was stressed. And then at home, Theodosia's

health is still declining. She's not doing great from everything. So he was stress coming from like all angles. Yeah, exactly. And she had struggled obviously since the birth of Theodosia. Yeah, there you go. She had struggled since the birth, which was at this point about 10 years earlier. She was still struggling from that. By 1793, it was kind of apparent that she was really going to continue to decline. She was apparently

quote in an almost constant choke, and she would just be coughing constantly, and she would have daily, she was dealing with nausea and vomiting, a lot of stomach pain. Burr's friend Dr. Benjamin Rush actually

recommended that she takes small doses of hemlock to treat this, which I'm here to tell you that that's probably what killed her. Yeah, one would think. At least hastened mightily the death. Yeah. It's like how George Washington, they were like, let's just bleed you for this cold and continue to bleed you. Yeah.

And then they just killed him from trying to fix him. It's like, guys, I know you weren't like up on it in the 1700s, but like, my God. But you just like really weren't at all? Yeah, you really weren't on it. Now, in the months leading up to her death, they actually prescribed her. So like I said, Hemlock. At one point, they prescribed her chocolate and wine. Fucking prescribe me, chocolate and wine at any time you need to.

Which I'm like, was that just to make her comfortable? 100%. But no matter what they did, even Mercury at one point they prescribed, which probably wasn't great. Strangely, none of it did anything to relieve her pain. Unfortunately, Theodosia Sr. died in the family's New York home on May 18th. 1794. What is believed now to have been either stomach or uterine cancer. You know, when you were describing her symptoms, I was wondering if it was some kind of cancer.

Yeah, it was really sad. Now, at the time, Aaron Burr was away in Philadelphia. Oh, man. So as she was in this final stages in pain and suffering. Thedon. Theodosia, no, she had her daughter, who was only 11 at the time, though, and was in the like caring for her mother and she was the one who was there. Thank God. And I don't even think she had turned 11 at this point. She was still 10.

Oh man. So she was there at the end and she was there when it happened. So that's a lot for a 10 year old. Now in the wake of Theodosia seniors passing, this is when, or excuse me, Cedon, yeah, Theodosia seniors passing. Young Theodosia had to step into the role as woman of the house now. So now not only was she taking on new responsibilities, but she was also now the full center of Aaron Burr's world. Like, this was it. And he had a lot of influence over her, but he was, but it was like pretty good influence, I would say. I don't think she turned out really great. So he was very much pushing her to be the best she could be, continuing her education, giving her a lot of moral instruction, despite, you know, not adhering to it himself. But she was killing it. She was doing amazingly. She was achieving far more than her peer.

were. So good for her. Good for her. And although she was like the center of his world, this was a good thing and a bad thing because she was also lonely. Yeah. She was she was kind of there to take on all the role of her mother. So she was there just kind of walking through this like sprawling mansion by herself when he was gone. That's awful. And also just she had to, when she got old enough, she had to like host the dinner parties and the social events and manage the staff. And you know, by the way, there were also enslaved people on this property. So that's what I mean when, like, you can look at, like, all these things like, oh, he was such a good dad, you know, and there's always something where you're like, oh, and shit,

I forgot we're in the 1700s. Yeah. Yeah. But she took on all of that. And by the time she reached the age of 18 and 1801, she had received more and better of an education than men twice her age. Fuck yeah. had received. Back to the yeah.

All while doing the things I just told you, she's doing, managing a household, managing the social stuff, like doing all of that stuff, on top of grieving her mother. Yeah, at like 10 years old. Like, she's a, she's a badass. She really is a testament to the whole upbringing she had. And this is when, in 1801, this is when she was finally 18, so she was finally able to move into another part of life, which is married life, especially back then you were expected to enter into that life. So she, her marriage was, you know, she liked her husband. They got along.

Like this wasn't, it's a good start. But it definitely had a lot more to do with like legacy, political strategy. Money. But I think it was one of those things where love and respect and adoration formed out of that. Okay. So it wasn't like it all went bad. You know, like he was just a shithead and they hated each other and that was it. They made do. She married Joseph Alston in 1801.

And again, like I said, they definitely turned into they more than tolerated each other. Love that for them. So that was a good thing. And in the end, when you hear how Joseph speaks about her, he loved her. Okay. Very much. It's like I said, began definitely with the cold. where legacy is this is political strategy

this is what we do and it ended up with being like wow I think he really looked at her as like this extraordinary woman because in the end he basically says like I felt worthy of being in her presence like I didn't feel worthy for so long and then I finally felt worthy like so he really looked at her as like she's a badass and like I should be lucky yeah like I'm lucky to have entered into this

so theodosia met Joseph Alston during the presidential campaign of 1880s 1800, actually. Burr was using Alston as kind of a middleman to convey information from the north to the Republicans in the south. And, you know, like many men that came into Theodosia's presence, he was immediately very much enamored with how smart she was. She had a very, she was quiet, but she was, like, quietly confident.

Like, she had this air about her that, like, I know how great I am, but, like, not annoying. And she, and also, I love this. because he blatantly says that she, he was never put off by her lack of skill in the woman, womanly arts. Oh, so like she wasn't going to make up and stuff. How good of you? And I think it was like in like folding laundry. Oh, fuck that.

Cooking dinner, you know, like the womanly arts. She was doing better shit. Those are the womanly arts. And she was too busy getting an education to really, you know, she learned that stuff, but it wasn't what she was into. And he wasn't put off by that. I'm not going to folding either, Thea. You know.

Now, once the election. was finally, you know, over, Jefferson was president, Burr was his vice president. Alston proposed to Theodosia. But she said no. She said, I love this. This is in a letter. She said, Aristotle judged a man too immature for marriage before age 36. Hell yeah.

Like, Theodosia. I love it. And they had these letters back and forth that are very, like, sassy. Like, she's just like, you're too immature. Sorry about it. Call me when you're 36. 36 is like such a random age. She was like, that's what Aristotle said.

So I'm going to listen to him because I am educated. A lot of people think that you shouldn't get married until after you're 30 because that's when you have your return to Saturn, which is like when everything is supposed to kind of like, it's also like a really shitty period in your life. It can be because everything gets like mismashed and then falls into place. You know? I'm doing it.

I'm going to go ahead and get married before. I'm going to get married before 30. I didn't have kids until 30. Yeah, I think my goal is kids at 30. But either way, Joseph traveled from South Carolina where he was living to upstate New York in February of 1801, and that's when he convinced Theodosha to marry him. Was he 36? He was not 36, but he did a lot of convincing. He did the legwork.

Yeah, he traveled. So, you know, that traveling was not easy back then. So shortly after they got married, Theo and Joseph went on what was called a bridal tour. The fuck is that. They traveled around with this entourage of servants into the more rural parts of the New York state. And they reached their destination, which was Niagara Falls. This trip was apparently kind of a celebration of the marriage. So it was almost like a honeymoon kind of thing.

But it also gave Theodosia kind of a break from running the house in New York and like doing all the things. This was like a vacation. Yeah. And back then, vacations were not a thing. You didn't go on vacation. Goodbye. Like, you didn't, it was not common for people to be like, I'm just going to go to Niagara Falls to look at it because it's pretty. They were just like, no, I don't have time for that.

If you were traveling, you were traveling for a very distinct purpose. For war. Because for war to go declare battle on someone. But yeah, she needed this like nice little rest period. And she wrote a letter to her sister-in-law and she said, if you wish to have an idea of real sublimity, visit the Falls of Niagara. They are magnificent. I love it, the Falls of Niagara. I love that.

And again, this is like, it's pretty significant because it's like, one, Theodosia is now transitioning into adulthood. She's not a child anymore. And it's also the first time that anyone really went to Niagara Falls for recreational purposes. That is kind of crazy. So she was just like breaking stereotypes everywhere, apparently. And this actually began that trend of let's go look at cool shit for no reason. So she invented sightseeing? Kind of, like in a way.

She's like, bitch, I invented big. Ashering in, like, you can just go look at shit. Wow. For vacation. You don't need to be going there for a purpose. Quoted directly from Theodosia's diary. You can just go look at shit. You can just go look at shit.

The falls of Niagara are fucking magnificent. That's what she wrote. So that she stamped her little name on there, her big old name. But you know what? She's still in that life she grew up in. She's an aristocat, as you said. She's still, she's in South Carolina now. It's all money, politics.

a little bit of domesticity in there. Joseph took over a lot of the doting that her father had done on her. Okay. Because he really did start to really just dot on her. They hosted dinner parties. They had social events at their home. They would go back to New York in the summer to visit her father. It was all very what you would think of.

You know, like you're just like, ooh, like so fancy, so glamorous. Fanciful. In the spring of 1802, just a year into their marriage, Theodosia gave birth to a boy. They named Aaron Burr Alston. Oh. She was so happy. She called him the crowning blessing of her life. Oh, my God.

Fuck me up. Isn't that adorable? I'm going to call my kids that. No, unfortunately, this birth was also pretty traumatic for both of them because, like I said, birth was pretty traumatic back then. She ended up dealing with what is now recognized as a prolapsed uterus. Oh, shit. Yeah. And at the time, it just went untreated and unnoticed because they didn't know what it was.

Oh, my God. So the pain must have been outrageous. And it was unrelenting daily to her. Well, and does that just, like, that doesn't fix itself. So she just, like, went on the rest of her life with that. Yeah, she was just going with it. And she went to tons of physicians. She went to specialists. She was just unable to find any relief for this because they didn't know what that was. And after this, and the pain that followed from the whole thing, Burr wanted Theodosia and the baby to come to New York. And he said, you can get away from, you know, the crazy heat and charmed. Charleston, I would, you know, I want to be here for you. I want to take care of you too.

Yeah. Just come here. So they started going every summer and in the fall months actually to New York to visit Aaron. It was just like with the baby. Like this was a whole thing. Aaron visiting Aaron. Yeah. But unfortunately, like she loved it. But she also was lonely there because she missed Joseph. Because like I said, they were starting to like each other. I was going to say they like each other. And in a letter in 1802, she wrote, I would, I had rather been ill on Sullivan Island with, with you, than separated from you. Even my amusement served to increase my unhappiness. For if anything affords me pleasure, the thought that were you here, you also would feel pleasure and thus redouble mine at once puts an

end to my enjoyment. Oh, baby, that's love. They love each other. Yeah, they absolutely do. What started out is like, we got to get married. This is just what we do is like, I really like you. When you start finding amusement in things, but you're like not with your partner and you're like, that makes you sad, you're love. And when you're like, just thinking about the fact that you would find pleasure in this, but you can't. And like, I would be doubly feeling good if you were here. Like, that makes me sadder.

It's like, that's when you know. Now, the first several years of their marriage were very happy, like I said. Very happy, very blissful. There wasn't really a lot of trauma happening. Like, she was dealing with the pain, but she was going through it. But then in 1804, again, she was not having any treatment for what is a prolapsed uterus. She was starting to experience gruesome recurring uterine infections. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, which made her incapable of having any more children and also made sex impossible. Oh. She was in physical pain all the time. She was also feeling very depressed from this constant physical pain. Yeah. And at one point she was, she had suicidal thoughts. Also, you know, that's taking a toll on her marriage because they're not able to be intimate. Like, that's tough.

He's watching her be in pain. He can't do anything about it. That's a lot on a marriage. It's a lot. And then making things worse, there was a ton of infighting and, like, political rhetoric happening surrounding the end of her father's term as vice president. And it was becoming, like, inflammatory. And it was dealing with Joseph Alston, too, because he was part of the whole thing.

Right. So that was putting pressure on thing. It was like the internet before the internet, like putting a bunch of pressure on that. And there was a much publicized battle of words that you guys might recognize. It was between Aaron Burr and this guy who was like the secretary of this or the former secretary of the treasury. His name was Alexander Hamilton. Yeah. Yeah, they had like it was pretty publicized there back and forth.

Yeah. There was like a pamphlet or something. There was a lot of accusations being thrown around. Some claims of impropriety. I won't get into it. But like you can look it up if you want or listen to the soundtrack if you want. You might find a little something. And shockingly, Burr challenged Hamilton to a duel.

Oh, he did? Yep. July of 1804. I thought that happened. And what happened during that is that Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton. Yeah. At this point, The Adosio was only 23 years old, by the way. She's gone through all of this at 23.

Now her dad is on the actual run. Like he's by, got to get out of here. And on the run. Like I don't know. In the soundtrack, he says, we're on the run. He says, someone told me you better hide. And they were right. Correct.

So he was out. Luckily, he didn't put his family in danger, direct danger by coming to them. Because again, he's on the run from New York. Right. You would think he would just teut down to South Carolina. It's confusing, though, because aren't those the rules of a duel? Like, someone dies. Yeah, but I think he, first of all, like, the whole thing is that Alexander Hamilton put his pistol in the sky. Yeah.

And then I think more people were on Hamilton's side than Burr's side. Yeah, so I think. So since Hamilton put his pistol in the sky, that's Burr was also supposed to do that? It's one of those things, I think, and I'm not an expert on duels, but I believe it's one of those, like, you know, like honor things where it's like if you turn around and the guys got the pistol in the sky, you shooting him would be pretty like low-handed. Like it's like you see him not shooting you. You should probably be like, we... And you think of how like quick that happens, though? Like if he turned around prepared to not see, I'm sure he didn't think he was going to see Hamilton's gun in the sky.

Of course. Yeah. That's a quick movement. If you listen to the soundtrack, he says that Alexander Hamilton was wearing his glasses. Why the fuck would he wear those if he wasn't planning to shoot him? Fair. You know, it's funny because I'm actually supposed to see Hamilton like next week. There you go.

So this will all be very relevant to you. Yeah, it literally will. Because he sings songs about both Theodosia Senior and Theodosia Jr. Yeah. I've only seen it on TV, but I'm like seeing it. Yeah. And obviously, before I get emails that are like, you know that that's not like a historically perfect thing.

I know it's a Broadway show. I know this. I'm just making jokes. But this is all real. And yeah, I think it's one of those things where, like, you are supposed to have, like, your seconds out of duel, which they're supposed to talk to each other and try to be like, hey, maybe these two guys shouldn't just try to shoot each other. Like, maybe we should just, like, talk through this.

Yeah. But some people are idiots and they don't like to negotiate. They like to just go to boom, boom, trigger finger and, like, fuck everything up. So they did that. Gotcha. And that's not a good way to be. Never a good way to be. You should always try to negotiate first.

You should always try to do that. So that's what they say. Like your seconds are supposed to come in and be like, we both know that this is stupid. But it doesn't happen every time. It didn't happen with his son either, Philip, Alexander Hamilton's son. Yeah, his son died. Yeah, exactly. So like there's a lot of, you know, a lot of dumb.

That scene. Oh, gut-wrenching. Destroy you. All right. But this is about Theodosia. He did not, exactly. So he did not run down to South Carolina and in day. his whole family because that would have endangered them and Joseph. Instead, he went out west.

Sorry, I almost coughed. So my voice broke there. I didn't even catch it. I'm okay. I swallowed the cough. So I went west. So I went west. He hoped, you know, he could just buy. I think he went like closer to Louisiana, like not all the way out west, but like closer to Louisiana where he was like, let's making his way to Mexico. Yeah, just trying to get out of here. Now, by summer of 1805, she would, Theodosia Jr. was just kind of wandering around this giant estate. You know, her husband was away all the time. She's right back to when her mother died. And it's like, and her dad's not around now.

She's sick. It's a real parallel to like her mother's life. It is, yeah. Yeah. And she was also dealing with her, like, really declining health. And she's raising a two-year-old boy at the time. Like, that's a lot. So by August of that year, her pain was unbearable.

She was at that point, she was certain she was going to die before the end of the summer. Like that's how bad it got. So she actually wrote a letter to Joseph and gave him instructions for what should happen should she pass away before the end of the summer. She said, quote, after my death and before my burial, and she wrote, basically, this is my will and testament.

She made instructions for where her belonging should go, who should care for her son. She said, to you, my beloved, I leave our child, who was once a part of myself. You love him now. henceforth love him for me also and oh my husband attend to this last prayer of my of a doting mother like that's horrible fuck me right up yeah theodosia that's that's gonna ruin me but good news she did not die she was not sure she did she was dealing with the emotional and

physical pain still but she did not die she didn't have to live out that will and testament just yet um but burr was arrested for treason and was taken to richmond virginia to be tried I don't think I knew that. Yeah. Even worse, many men were believing that because of Burr's position that he wouldn't or couldn't pay his debts. So they were now coming to Joseph Alston trying to get assurances that he was going to pay. Joseph Alston wasn't able to provide those assurances. So a lot more shit was coming their way.

Politics. Throughout this whole trial, Theodosia and Joseph relocated to a home in Virginia to be close to him actually during the trial. It was a smaller home that was good because it was kind of less for Theodosia to have to do and have to be responsible for. But she was dealing with the stress and anxiety of the entire trial and everything that was going on. And in the end, the court did determine that the prosecution hadn't made a strong enough case to find Burr guilty of treason. So he was actually acquitted on those charges. Okay. But so now he's free.

He's free to move about the country. He's free to do whatever he needs to do. but he's not going to be welcome back with open arms after everything. He can't just go out there and be like, hi, friends. What's up? Dinner party? Like, no. So he decided he was going to go to Europe because why not, right?

Yeah, you might as well go there. And it takes a lot for anybody to go over there at this time. So he's like, I think I'll be okay over there. Yeah. But sure, Burr's released from trial, you know, released from the charges. But the fallout was, and he's over in Europe now, but the fallout was everywhere. Like they weren't getting away from this.

Right. So while he was in Europe, he relied a lot on Theodosia and Joseph to give regular updates essentially on like American politics and also relied on them to spread disinformation among his political rivals. Ah.

He was very needy at this time. Sounds like it. Now, Burr's neediness came at a tough time for Theodosia because she was juggling her responsibilities, managing the household, raising a child, dealing with the health issues. And now, by 1809, all of the constant physical pain

was starting to cause neurological and psychological symptoms. What was referred to as the most violent affections, and it was hysteric fits, quote unquote, periods of seeing colors and flashes of light before her eyes. Wow. She would hallucinate, like, see people around her bed. She would hear strange, you know, like auditory hallucinations. And they would come and go.

it wasn't constant, but like she was dealing with this. And aside from this, she was also dealing with the depression. Her equilibrium was off. She had a violently stinging mouth sore situation, like sores in her mouth. She had exhaustion. And the whole equilibrium thing was causing her to like have falls. Yeah. And one fall caught, she got a spinal injury that kept her immobile for like weeks. My God. Yeah. She's like really going through it. So by 1812, Aaron Burr had been, you know, wandering around Europe, just kind of like going from one place to the next place, like running out of money, like going on the next place. And the stress on the dojo was enormous. But in 1812, he had finally had enough of that. And he wrote to tell her, I'm traveling my boat to New York,

and I would love to see you and my grandson. Like, I need to see you. But unfortunately, that never happened. No. On June 30th, 1912, or 1812, excuse me, as Burr was making his way from Boston to New York by boat, 10-year-old Aaron Burr Alston actually died from a summer fever or country fever. Oh, man. This was Asper was on the boat home. And again, like the way that her life mirrors her mother's life, that's crazy. I know. And summer fever or country fever would now be malaria fever.

Oh, wow. So malaria. In 18th and 19th century, South Carolina, malaria was a huge contributor. to high mortality rates. The climate, the swampy conditions of that area, they're just a breeding ground

for swarms of mosquitoes. Little Aaron had contacted this around May or early June, and during the month of June, he was basically in like a stuporous state. To make matters worse, it was the early 1900s of it all. So they used mercury

and just made him rest to see if it would help. That had never been a cure and wasn't a cure for that, but they dried it out. It did not work. Theodosia was obviously very devastated.

She was dealing with 10 years of unrelenting pain and suffering, and this is just the actual worst thing that could have happened. Like the one thing that she just thought was most precious to her is now going. Yeah, and she's probably like distracting herself from everything going on in her life by doting on her son. Yeah, of course. In a letter she wrote on July 12th to Aaron Burr, she said, I've lost my boy, my child is gone forever. May heaven make you

some amends for the noble grandson you have lost. And after Little Aaron's loss, Theodosia's only real thing she could look, any solace she had was that she was going to be able to see her dad. Because now she was like, you're going to be back in New York, I can go see you.

She hadn't seen him in like four years. He was like exiled in Europe for that long. So in December of 1812, she made firm plans with him. I'm going to come see you. and Alston's election in South Carolina for it was against the South Carolina governor on December 10th

was in like full swing at this time so he would have normally gone with her okay of course because she's in poor health too right but he couldn't because he was in the middle of this whole thing so it just happened to be like a time when he couldn't come so she was going to have to do it alone now by late December 1812 1812 the war of 1812 had been going for like six months at this time So any interstate travel at this time was pretty risky.

Yeah. This was not an easy decision to make. She had two options to go to New York. One, she could go by land in the Alston's carriage, which would have been a two-week journey at the very least. Or she could go by sea, which would be way shorter, but it carried the added much higher risk of being captured by British soldiers or even possibly pirates. Right. But still the idea of spending more than two weeks being thrown around a car. being driven by what, who Theodore, a driver who Theodosia referred to as a great drunkard.

Oh, no. Wasn't super appealing. So she chose the sea. I could see why. Yeah, she was like, I'm going to take to the sea. So by the winter of 1812, British warships had set up blockades in a lot of the major ports, including Charleston, and had been capturing American ships as prizes. On top of that shit, pirates and privateers were also very active off the coast of the Carolinas, which made things worse. Joseph Alston really didn't like the idea of her going into the sea.

Especially because she is like a prominent figure's daughter and a prominent figure's wife. Yeah. I have a feeling that's what happened here. Yeah. And it's like he was strongly protesting this and they got in like months of arguments about this. Like he was really like, please do not do it. Just get in the carriage. But finally, shoot, he was like, fine.

You're not going to listen. So you got to. I'll just give you my blessing. Sorry I had to stop to cough. You probably heard the end of that. I was like, blessing. But there we go. She was going.

But really, he only agreed to this in the end. The only thing that made him agree to it was he was really hopeful that visiting her father was going to lift her spirits. Yeah. And he thought that might translate it to her physical health as well because they didn't know anything about this back then. So they're like, maybe if she feels better, she'll feel better. Right. But because of her health, he was like, I'm not going to just let you go, like, without any provisions here. So Burr actually helped him arrange to have his friend Dr. Timothy Green travel

from Boston to South Carolina and then accompany Theo to New York. Oh, I see. On a private schooner, the one named the Patriot. So a private doctor was going to be on the ship to make sure everything went okay. On December 30th, a day before they were leaving, Joseph Alston walked Theodosia and Dr. Green to the family's landing in Oaks Creek, where they both were ferried to the Patriot. in Georgetown Harbor. The other thing that's contributing to this, I feel like, is the name of the ship. I was thinking that, too. I was like, ooh, you really put, like, a big target on that ship.

Yeah. It's carrying, like, you know, it's carrying, like, a political daughter. And it's also carrying, like, kind of a pariah political's daughter. Like, you know what I mean? There's a lot of layers here, and it's called the Patriot. Yeah. And, like you said, the wife of a political, you know, big wig. Mm-hmm.

So it's a lot. Now, the Patriot itself was a 63-foot shallow draft schooner. Okay. It was used as a pilot boat during the American Revolution before this. Oh, shit. And it only needed, like, a small crew. I think it only needed, like, three or four people to sail it. This was a private ship, but it was considered a privateering ship.

So it had been authorized by the government to carry guns as a means of protection against pirates and British warships. But this one in particular only had three. canons and a civilian crew, so it was really not going to be helpful. Like, even with the guns, it wasn't really going to be helpful. This was a civilian crew. Awesome. If they did run into pirates, they were probably going to be in some trouble. A British warship, yikes.

Lots of trouble. Like, not going to be great. But records indicate that the Patriots canons had actually been, weren't even going to be helpful anyways because they had been dismounted and stowed below deck. Good. Because they figured they couldn't use them anyway. I think I know what happened at Theodosia. So even if they wanted to fend off invaders, they definitely weren't going to be able to.

Well, there'll be another thing that'll kind of be like, oh, maybe that's what happened. But Joseph Alston hadn't really chosen the Patriot because he wanted it to be this like warship that was going to get her there. It was apparently very swift sailing, very smooth. It was like, had a very good record of being safe. And he figured this is going to get her there quick. In less than a week, it was supposed to get her. get her to New York. Oh, wow. Because that was the whole thing, was the carriage was going to be like over two weeks. Right. So the Patriot set sail out of Georgetown Harbor at 12 noon on

December 31st, 1812. That was again the last time anyone saw Theodosia Burr Alston, Dr. Timothy Green, the Patriot or its crew. Oh. When Theodosia failed to show up to New York a week later, Burr and Alston were like a little alarmed. Yeah. But they weren't freaking out yet. You know, There were several reasons delay could happen. So it wasn't super uncommon that this was going to happen. But then the second week came. And no word was heard from the ship or Theodosia. And they began freaking out.

They were now seeking answers. Apparently, one of them, who was it? It was, I think it was Joseph. Or no, it was Aaron, excuse me. Aaron wrote to Theodosia in New York and wrote another male and still no letter. All that I have left of heart is yours. All my prayer are for your safety and well-being. Now, after three weeks, Alston was beginning to suspect the worst.

And he began casting blame actually towards Burr at this point. He said in a letter, he said, tomorrow will be three weeks since in obedience to your wishes, Theodosia left me. Because again, he was not happy she was going on the first place. He's like, you did this. And he wrote, gracious God, is my wife too taken from me? I do not know why I write, but I feel like,

I feel that I am miserable. Aw. Because he just lost his son, too. Now, after several months now, without word, from Theodosia, or any of the people on the Patriot, the men were, they were forced to accept. That she was gone. Something happened here. And Aaron Burr wrote to a friend, were she alive, all the prisons in the world could not keep her from her father. When I realized the truth of her death, the world became a blank to me.

And life then lost all its value. I mean, I get that. Like, he lost everything. And he loved his daughter. Now, Joseph Alston was clearly, obviously, equally as fucked up by the realization that he was never going to see her again. And he also lost everything. Yeah, both he's mended.

And in one of his final letters to Aaron Burr, his anguish, oh, like this is, this will destroy you get ready. He wrote, my boy, my wife, both gone. This then is the end of all the hopes we had formed. You may well observe that you feel severed from the huge. human race. She was the last tie that bounds us to the species. But the man who has been deemed worthy of the heart of Theodosia Burr and has felt what it is to be blessed with such a woman's love will never forget this elevation. Wow. Like they just don't write like they used to. They don't.

They don't make it like he's tearing up in the corner. That part got me. Yeah. I'm not all my goodness. So what happened? to Theodosia. Pirates. This was a big deal. And or the British. You know, it could. No, this was a big deal.

And, of course, there was no real explanation being offered. They couldn't really come up with one. So there were a lot of theories that were having to be kind of like plunkered together. This is on, there's honestly very little information about what might have been loaded onto the ship before it left. Like, they don't have a lot of records saying, like, this is exactly what was on the ship. But according to one of Joseph Alston's descent. actually. There were a lot of barrels of rice from Alston's plantation aboard, which were to be sold once the ship reached New York, and it would offset the cost of this trip. Okay. And others have

suggested that Theo carried with her the Burr family silverware, which she planned to return to her father. Okay. This is just important to know that there were things on this ship that people you might have wanted. Yeah. It was also said that the ship's captain, who was William Overstocks, He had painted over the name of the ship on the hall to avoid attracting any attention. Okay. And that he also carried on him with the ship, quote, the proceeds of her raids. So money or like things of value. Money.

And while these definitely make it like interesting, there is a weather thing to take into account here when you say like it definitely was pirates. Like it absolutely could have been pirates, could have been British, could have been any of these things, but there's another little thing to think of. This is just to give you a little bit of the, you know, these things were on the ship, so that's interesting. Now, the most likely explanation for what happened is kind of simple, but really tragic.

Okay. It might have been caught in a storm after leaving port. But they've never found it? That's the thing. And as of 2022, just to put it out there, there are over 10,000 shipwrecks in North America. And some, this was, some of it is from battle. But a lot of it was just caused by inexperienced captains, you know, and unpredictable

weather. Yeah. Because at the time, especially, it wasn't easy to forecast. Right. Now, in 1812, sailing relied entirely on analog methods of operation. So the odds of the miscalculation of some weather event coming are pretty good. And this would definitely be something that. could sink a ship, especially a schooner.

Now, interestingly, on January 1st, 1813, the day after the ship set out, one weather event did come through. And it, quote, blew up that night off Cape Hatteras. Now, this is only about 400 or so miles north of Georgetown. So interesting, it is there. And it's believed that this could be the storm that maybe forced the Patriot off course. maybe it hit rocks and it sunk to the bottom of the Atlantic before anyone could get off it. Now this is pretty accepted by a lot of people.

They're like, that makes a lot of sense. This was the one that also, in the beginning especially, was the one that was accepted by Aaron Burr and Joseph Alston when they didn't hear from her in months. In a letter written to her two weeks after she had left the port at Georgetown, Joseph wrote, I hear too rumors of a gale off Cape Hatteras the beginning of the month. The state of my mind is dreadful. Oh. Yeah. Now, also, apparently General Thomas Picney, who was a family friend of the Alton's,

met with an admiral from the British blockade just off the coast of South Carolina. And this guy from the British blockade said he could confirm that the Patriot was a loud, safe passage through the blockade just hours before, quote, a violent gale followed the same night. Oh, okay. But we're going to go back to that because there's a little mystery in that too. Yeah. So that sounds all very like, okay, so people figured it out. That's it.

That's it. It was a storm. But then in 1998, archaeologist James L. I think it's Michi or Mitchie, I'm pretty sure, commissioned a study to uncover more evidence of what happened to the Patriot. And after a ton of digging, his team was able to find that there was no record of the Patriot having passed through that blockade. And why would they have let it?

Well, that did happen. There would be granted safe passage orders, but it would have been logged. That would have been something that would have been very much logged. Right. There is no record of them going through that blockade. Yeah. And that's interesting.

Because they didn't. They were able to verify that there was a violent storm that passed over South Carolina on the coast on January 1st, 1813. And according to Mitch, quote, the gale was so severe that the warships furled and reaped most of their sail. Nevertheless, the ferocity of the storm stripped off top gallant yards and mass, snapped rigging and tore out chain plate bolts from the hell, the hall, excuse me. So it's strange because they were not given safe passage, at least not recorded safe passage.

So that's often shady. Because it's like, did you do something? Yeah. And you're pretending that you let them through. Right. But like did sense. So it absolutely could be the storm, but it absolutely could be that they were not allowed safe passage and that that ship was taken.

Right. Interesting. Now, let's get on to little urban legends, like a little more urban-de-legendie, alternate theories here. So more theories abound. The most prominent and dramatic theory that came out of the late 19th century, early 20th century and came out of your mouth too, was that, and mine as well, was that she was seized by pirates.

Yeah, that's what I feel. But it gets even, we're saying it like that makes sense. But this one's saying that she lived long enough afterwards to help direct the course of American history. So she stayed active in directing our history, which, wow. I was like, oh, you lost me. And what gets interesting is that several sailors throughout the 19th century said they had seen Theodosia among the pirates. And one pirate said that he, quote, claimed to have actually laid the point. plank that Theodosia then walked, all dressed in white, into the stormy sea.

Isn't that chilling? Wild. Another theory out of 1873 says that the Patriot was a victim of a trap laid by a pirate who went by Gibbs and who apparently confessed after being captured and sentenced to hang. The tale was wild because it said that Joseph and Theodosia were arguing over the morality of her father's actions, like his whole thing with Hamilton, and that there was such a blow out that that's why she decided to go to New York. But we know that's not true. She was fleeing.

And so this is why this one is not really a good one. This one also says that she took her two children with her. She only had one. She didn't have any children at the time. Their child died of malaria. But the story says that Gibbs... So you can take that and say people probably

switched it. But the story says that Gibbs heard of this trip and thought that the ship was likely to have tons of valuable shit on it. So he set a trap, captured the ship, everyone on it. And it's a tale that in this tale, many of the crew and officers were murdered. And he decided to put all the survivors to death as well by walking the plank. Okay.

Obviously, this is bullshit. I would say. I'm like, okay. I'm not saying she wasn't captured by pirates. I'm just saying this one in particular was definitely not one, I would think. But they very much, like, in all these stories, they very much. much like romanticize it. Yeah, like she walked off the plank

the pirates and the wearing all white and all that. But a similar story appears roughly 10 years after the Gibbs story. Most of the same kind of plot points. But this one says that a rough and hard looking former sailor by the name of Benjamin Burdick

was on his deathbed and he was in Michigan when he was on his deathbed and wish to unburden himself by confessing to Yes, on Burr, but he wanted to confess his role in the death of Theodosje Burr. The story was supposedly told to Mrs. Parks, the wife of a local Methodist minister. And it was in, I guess there was three witnesses there to hear it.

They are unnamed. It's pretty vague. And according to Burdick, as a boy in 1813, he was on board of pirate ship who came upon the Patriot. He said it was on January 3, 1813. So three days after they had set sail. He said they kind of chased them. The Patriot was captured by pirates. Burdick claimed that they had taken everything of value off the ship.

And then they then compelled the captain and every passenger on board to walk the plank into the sea and all perished. Now, they kind of, he also kind of romanticizes this. You can read this in the Montgomery County Sentinel from 1883. He said there was this one lady on board who was a beautiful, who was a beautiful appearing, intelligent, and cultivated person, who gave her name as Mrs. Theodosia Burr Alston. When her turn came to walk the fatal plank, she asked for a few moments time,

which was gruffly granted to her. I was like, I don't think pirates are letting her have time. I don't think so either. She appeared pale yet beautiful as she retired to her birth and changed her apparel, appearing again on deck in a few moments, clad in pure white garments and with a Bible in her hand. She announced that she was ready.

She appeared as calm and composed as if she were at, home and not a tremor crept over her frame, nor did any pallor overspread her features as she walked towards her fate. As she was taking the fatal steps, she folded her hands over her bosom, raised her eyes to heaven, she fell and sank without a murmur or sigh. A pirate said this? Beautiful. Yeah. Now, he went on to say that it was his, quote, unhappy lot to be delegated by the captain to pull the plank from beneath her. Yeah. And he said he would have given his whole life to undo what had been done. Supposedly before he died, he repeated this confession to other men at the house, saying,

I shall never forget the perfect confiding faith which her eyes expressed as she gazed up into heaven when about to take the fatal step. Her pale face has haunted me ever since, and I see it now as plainly as I did on that terrible day. Interesting. Now let's get on to one of my favorite theories is that she became a pirate queen. I do love that. I don't see that, but I love it. I don't see that, but I love it. Now, the rumors of them being taken by pirates, they began circulating almost immediately

after it was announced that she had disappeared. But it wasn't until decades later that the story really started gaining some footing. And according to the one particular legend, a group of researchers discovered evidence that the weather reports at the time of Theodosia's departure weren't actually what they said they were. Oh.

It seems like this theory says that there was something that was assumed to be a violent storm, but it actually wasn't nearby to where they were. Okay. And that this is the one that says like, okay, so that didn't happen. They were not lost in a storm. So they were definitely commandeered by pirates. And one of these pirates was a pirate turned respected citizen by the name of Dominique Frederick U. I like that name. Now, it said that you had been a member of a mysterious fraternal order.

Ooh. And that someone else was in this order. Aaron. Aaron Burr. I had a feeling. And apparently some of the primary tenants of this fraternal order was, quote, the protection of daughters of members against all harm, which, obviously, Aaron Burr, Theodosia Bur. Now, if she had told you upon the time of being captured, I am Aaron Burr's daughter, I am Theodosia Burr,

he couldn't have done anything to bring her harm. So this is the one that says, well, she lived her days out happily among the pirates. And it says that she was smart. She had a very wide skill set, especially for a woman of her time. She was also youthful and beautiful. And she had everything that you need to be a pirate queen. Other than that prolapsed uterus. There was that.

They said, you know, like she also might have been really good to have around for like writing letters and keeping accounts and keeping books. That's true. They're not really good at that. You know, so she wouldn't have to do some of the heavy lifting. Doing pirate bookkeeping. Pirate bookkeeping. Now, this is likely bullshit, but it's pretty fun.

Yeah. I would say that's a fun one. The skies were not clear. Like, that is not true. Not by many of their weather reports, at least. And the legend kind of just relies on a woman who matches the addition. Theodosia's description being frequently seen in the company of pirates. Oh, yeah.

And actually, not even just pirates. Pirates like, there was a well-known pirate named Jean Lafitte. He, this is where, like, people saw a woman who looked like Theodosia in his company, and he happened to be a close associate of Dominique Frederick U. So it's like very much like eight degrees of Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, 65 degrees of Kevin Bacon kind of situation. Yep, yep.

So, because you would have to, in order to connect these two people, you would have to, it's even hard to connect them because you would have to be like, okay, so you is connected because he is conveniently a part of this really vague fraternal order that apparently he and Aaron Burr were in, even though there's no real evidence to such, and that this fraternal order would have had this weird, like, you have to protect daughters of members kind of thing. But in reality, like, fraternal orders and societies at the time in America were just, like, social clubs. Yeah.

Like, they weren't like the skull and bones. Like, they weren't like, you know, the skulls. Like, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no, like, really intense things. And pirates were not beholden to any code, except the pirate code. Which is just, like, yo-ho. Which is just yo-ho in a bottle of rum. The end.

So they were brutally violent criminals. Right. They were very much, their whole life was outside of the law. Like have you guys seen the Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah, it just, they literally live their lives to avoid having to be bound by any kind of societal laws. So why would, why? Like, that doesn't make any, that's just not a very probable, not impossible, not impossible, but very not probable. Agreed.

Now, another one I'm going to talk about, and I think of this. is the last one I will talk about is the nag's head painting theory. That sounds interesting. So the pirate narrative actually got a little bit of credibility. Okay. Not the exact narrative that I've been telling. Like, those can sound crazy. Yeah.

But like the idea that she and the crew were captured by pirates was not a weird or wild thing. No. So it did gain a little bit of credibility in the late 19th, early 20th centuries when a woman who was living in Elizabeth, City, North Carolina, came forward, and she had a painting. And she claimed that this painting was of Theodosha Burr Alston. This painting was believed to have been on board the Patriot when it left Port in Georgetown. Okay. According to this theory, a doctor named William Poole paid a visit to an elderly woman living

in some cabin in Nag's Head in the summer of 1867. And it was there that he discovered a painting, quote, quote, quote, Quote, quote, an oil painting on polished mahogany, 20 inches in length, and enclosed in a frame richly gilded, the beautiful patrician face, the unmistakable stamp of aristocratic birth and refinement, was easily recognizable as the adosia Burr Alston. Okay. So when the doctor asked about, where the fuck did you get that painting? He literally, he was like, where the fuck did you get that painting? Direct quote. She, because he was like, we're in a cabin, like a remote cabin somewhere, like very out of, like this painting is sticking out like a thorstem.

Where the thor stem. Wow, girly girl. A sore thumb. I am on cold medicine, so excuse me. I love it. But the woman was like a little reluctant to give him the origin of it. But finally she was like, okay, this painting, it was apparently discovered during the winter of 1812. And it was when America was fighting the English.

and a small pilot boat had drifted ashore a few miles from Nag's head. The woman said that the boat was in perfect condition. There was like literally a meal undisturbed sitting on the table. It was like it was just frozen in time. And she said it looked like it had just been abandoned by everyone on board. So she was like when we saw it, we thought obviously pirates. Yeah. But when the woman explored the ship, that's when they found the painting of birds.

hanging on one of the walls. And they also found like silk dresses. They found flout, like wax flowers, which were very like pretty and fancy back then. They had like, you know, glass closures that were covering certain things. There was a nautilus shell that had been beautifully carved out. Like all these things that would indicate that someone of aristocratic birth and life had been on this boat. And so she was like, that's where we found it. So we took the stuff. I have it here. And that's the origin of it.

She was like, that's why I was a little reluctant to tell you because I kind of stole it off an abandoned book. So the doctor was there, obviously, to help her. Yeah. And so in order to pay him, she was like, okay, well, I just told you this whole story. And she said, you know, do you want to take the painting as your payment? And he was like, fuck yeah, I do. Because that's wild.

So somehow it made its way into the home of Mrs. John Overman of Elizabeth City, North Carolina, somewhere along the way. And this story says that the painting was actually, originally, intended as a gift to Aaron Burr. That's why it was on the ship. And it was actually, apparently, according to this, was known to be among the cargo that was loaded on to the Patriot. So it says that the pirates boarded the ship. They made everyone walk the plank. They killed everyone.

And then they got surprised in the middle of getting their bounty off this ship by a government cruiser ship. And they abandoned before they could take everything. That, I believe. Now, this goes along with the dying confessions of two criminals executed years, executed years before in Norfolk, Virginia. Okay. So they said they were part of a pirate crew, and this is exactly what they did. Like, they both gave those stories. So now there's like two accounts of this.

And what's even more interesting is the painting is real. Yeah. Like Dr. William Poole is real. Had it in his possession after it was given as a gift. He spent a lot of his later life trying to authenticate this story for sure. He never was able to. It isn't confirmed, but it isn't debunked. Okay.

This one kind of checks for me a little bit. I was going to say, I think so. If it's not the storm, this one could be it. And how interesting would that be if there was just like a painting of her on board? I know. I think that no matter what, in my opinion, pirates were involved. Yeah. I think everybody just goes with pirates because I think, you know, humans really don't like mysteries.

We like it, but we want it solved. 100%. We want it tied up in a bow. And we will often do a lot of like loopety loops just to get to that end game. And in the end, Theodosia Burr Alston was truly a remarkable human. Absolutely. She was brilliant. She was afforded a lot of advantages in life, but she took a lot of advantage of them as well. Yeah. Like she didn't just take them and rest on her laurels. And again, like, it seems like people loved her. Like you look at these letters that were exchanged between people that were like courting her and between her father and her. And it's like people were really, really astonished at the charm. She had, the grace, the wit, the intelligence. Like they were. taken aback by her. And for her to be able to captivate that many people around her, especially in

that time, as a woman. Yeah, that's huge. You know, where it was even like, you were expected to be pretty and clean the house. That's pretty amazing. And unfortunately, her life ended very abruptly. And we don't really have the conclusion. And no matter what, tragically. So I think it's important that even though we talk about these, like, you know, fantastical theories, there's pirates, there's pirate queens there's all this craziness the adosia should really be like the story here i'm just like what a badass woman like it's kind it's very like she's very feminist she's very like and this was a very oppressive era like we said so i think it's she's an interesting lady i think it's really sad that she had to go through what she went through in her personal life totally and then to have her

story end like this is like i hope they find what actually happened i know i do too because it is very unfinished. You know what? I thought it is. And that is the story of Theodosia Burr Alston. Damn, it's like a really sad story from start to finish. No matter what, it's tragic. Yeah, with like little inklings of happiness, but not a ton. No, that's really not. It's a, it's a tragic story, tragic lives, you know, with little glimmers of hope in between. But, and I know this one was a little bit of a different episode, but I think it was an interesting story. And it's a mystery. Yeah. We don't know what happens. So I just thought it would be a fun one to put in there. Yeah. History buffs out there. I really liked it. Thanks. Good job. Um, I would like to keep singing your

praises and telling you how much I like this, but you need some fucking tea. I do because I'm about to cough again. All right. Well, with that being said, y'all, we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird. But that's so weird that coughs. Ready? go. Bye.