More Life with Carl Radke - Getting Fired Might Be the Best Thing That Ever Happens to You with Rachel Mansfield

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

Rachel Mansfield has built a career out of being honest about the messy parts—getting fired from her dream job, struggling with food in college, and figuring out motherhood along the way. The mom of three and founder behind the snack brand Cadoots sits down with Carl to get real about all of it. She opens up about the day she got fired with zero warning, the disordered eating she quietly worked through in college, and how a kitchen-counter idea became a growing snack company. A candid look at how the moments that knock you down can end up building the life you actually want. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Hey You Presents, the podcast where reality TV gets the deep dive that it truly deserves. I'm Dean McCarthy. I'm a self-confessed reality TV addict. And you can join me as I sit down with the biggest names in the Hayu Universe to uncover the moments that you love, the drama you lived for, and the stories you never got the full picture on. Every week is unfiltered, it's unforgettable, and unlike anything you've heard before. Hey You Presents on all your favorite podcast platforms. He finally got her. Oh my God, he got her. For years, a deranged man in Wichita, known as the poet, stalked Ruth Finley. He sent her letters, gifts, and poems. The Wichita police put everything they had into Ruth's case, but got nowhere. The poet was always two steps in front of us, and we just didn't know why.

And the city was already living in fear under the watch of another monster who called himself BTK. And he also had a thing for poetry. Could we really have two different people? But no one could have guessed how this would end. That's one of those Hitchcock endings that we did not expect. From Sony Music Entertainment and New metric media, this is the poet. I'm Rachel Brown. The poet is available now on The Binge.

Search for it wherever you get your podcast to start listening today. Subscribers to The Binge can listen to all episodes all at once, ad-free. Hey guys, I'm Carl Radke. And welcome to More Life. Today's show, we've got Rachel Mansfield. She's a food entrepreneur. She's a cookbook author.

And she's the co-founder and co-CEOO of Caduce, which is an organic snack cracker. I've had the chance to try them. I can't wait to dive in today here at Soft Bar coming live in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. All right, Rachel Mansfield. Welcome to More Life. I think I might cry. I'm just kidding. We should have tissues, actually.

I'm so excited. some guests on who have been emotional. Really? And I didn't have a tissue readily available. I'm sorry, I'll be ready next time. I should have a tissue. I have three kids. Like, you would think I would think I would have a tissue.

But I think because I met you in March, it's like... Shout out to Expo West. The band name was ripped off. I know. Shout to X-O-S. I had the chance of meeting Rachel. I was added out. For those that don't know,

ExpoS is, you know, kind of a major convention and consumer product goods. So snacks, chips, beverages, you name it. It's a huge thing that happens, I think, in Anaheim. In Anaheim. I always say it's like Disneyland, like the size of Disneyland, because it's actually next to Disneyland, but like Costco for samples. Yes. It's just like samples galore.

It's where brands in the better for you, CPG space, like debut the latest and the greatest. Yeah. So I went out there because we serve a fair amount of the brands. Some of the brands that are here at soft bar. We also look for the new ones. I want to see what's trending, what are new ingredients. I didn't expect this to happen. But when I go to these things, I'm just a regular guy.

I'm still a regular guy. But like I didn't think anybody would know who I was there. It was a circus. Really? I think you started it though. Yeah, and I was walking the floor. Like I was with, I had my Kadoots team with me, and I had my best friend who was my talent manager with me.

And we were walking down the aisle. And I was like, I grabbed her. And I was like, that's fucking Carl. I think you actually said that to me when you came out. You're like, are you, that's Carl. Because there aren't, like, truthfully, and I'm not just saying this. There aren't that many people that I would go out of my way to say hello to. Like, I would be like, oh, yeah, that's so cool.

And I was like, no, because I feel like I know you, even though you don't know me. Well, I'm so glad you came. And then I got to know you a little bit and you sent me some of your products. Congratulations on the launch. Thank you. I appreciate it. They launched in what? January.

They launched in January and now we're nationwide in Target. So just to simplify for our audience, it's a organic snack cracker. Yep. So we launched a company called Kadoots and we make organic snacks for kids that also like adults, anyone wants to eat. Yeah. I mean, we all, I mean, goldfish are for everybody. Exactly.

So it's like a organic protein, 100% extra virgin olive oil. So no seed oil. gluten-free, not free. It's like the snack that checks all the boxes. But we're not a cracker company because we're innovating in other forms for snacks too. So you don't want to just be a cracker. No, I love crackers, but there's a lot more to come.

Well, we're going to get into it. But thank you for being here. As you know, this podcast is called More Life. More Life is one of my favorite sayings. And it's something that I've embodied. It's a mantra. I look at it as a way to live your life to the fullest, take advantage of your opportunities.

I'm wondering if Rachel Mansfield has a saying that you embody. I feel like I have a lot of sayings. I called Jordan, my husband and business partner as we were walking like in here and I'm like, what's my saying? He's going to ask me. What is it? And he's like, all I walk around saying is, all right, okay, all right, okay.

And then I was like, no, I always say if I can do it, you can do it too. Because people will come up to me and be like, how do you have three kids and run three businesses and sleep and do all the things? I'm like, if I can do it, so can you. Just believe in yourself. And if like you want to do something, like you kind of. and do it. I love that.

Thanks. That's really good. Just to give everybody a little backstory of who you are. You run and have one of the most followed food accounts on Instagram. Thank you. That's very sweet. No, well, as far as I can tell. Thank you.

Over a million people. I'm sure you've been really hard at work building this. But like, when did you finally get to like this is what you're supposed to be doing? Because I know you have a backstory before you got there, which we're going to talk about. You and I share a little bit of a story of getting fired. Yeah. Which we'll talk about. I don't want to get into just like the food part of it.

Like when did it finally land that this. This is like, I'm a founder, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm an influencer, I'm a food chef person. Why food? Yeah. When I was in my 20s, I started, when I was like graduated college, I was like living with my in-laws at the time. We weren't married yet, but I would come home from the city. I was living on Staten Island and to save money.

Shout out to Staten Island. You don't hear Staten Island much in the borough conversation. I know. And my husband's from Staten Island. My grandparents are from Staten Island. Love it. Staten Island's got a lot of flavor. They do.

And we love Statenland. Yeah, yeah, some people. So I'm just kidding. The family's from there. They're going to come for you. My family is from there. I don't feel like, you know, silly saying it. And so I just had a passion for making food. I would make like things over, like overnight oats. Did you have an easy bake oven growing up? Yeah, of course I did.

I would make everyone cakes for their birthday. Like, I love to bake. My mom was always so mad because I was making such a mess in her clean, crisp kitchen, and I'd be there with, like, sprinkles and all the box cake mix and everything. But I loved just, like, preparing food. I loved making overnight oats and banana and peanut butter, like, sushi. And I was just always having fun with it. And I actually said to my husband, I want to start making overnight oats and selling them in a jar

and deliver them to people throughout the city. What year is this? This is like 2014, 2015. Wow. So food influencers were not a thing. Like that influencer was not a term. It was food bloggers. And he's like,

I just don't think we should get a commercial kitchen to make overnight oats right now. Like let's just post your recipes on the internet and see if anyone gives a shit. And if they do, we can look into getting you a kitchen. So I started sharing recipes and they were all about overnight oats. And then it was like banana breads made with oatmeal.

It's so silly when I think about it. And then it was baked. oatmeal. And then eventually I graduated to like dinners and lunches and other things. And I've always had since college, like a passion for making recipes that were healthy, but also like check the boxes and like they fuel you, but also like aren't made with heavily processed ingredients. And I shop organic and but I don't want someone to have to sacrifice flavor for health. Sure. Now did you ever consider going to like culinary school? No. I don't. Or like pastry school. No, I just I just like going into the kitchen, taking out the ingredients.

that I have, like, and kind of following my gut. And it's like, I'm not a chef. I'm not a cook. I'm not a nutritious. I'm a girl who just likes to make food. That's what I was like, if I can do it, so can you. And that's even with my recipes. They're all like super straightforward, ready in like under 30 minutes.

She pan meals, one pop meals, because I just want anyone to feel like they can cook without going to culinary school. Is this what you always thought you would be doing what you're doing? No. No. My mom did instill in me at a young age that I had to have a job. She wanted me to have a career. Shout out to mom.

Shout out as my mom, my number one fan. I never knew what I wanted to be. I never knew what I was going to do. I had a double major of business administration with marketing and then media communications. I just wanted to have a successful career and a job. I didn't even know that entrepreneurship was a thing. Like where I grew up, like no one, like I didn't know any entrepreneurs. Everyone like commuted into the city or commuted to a local town.

Like no one worked for themselves. So the thought of doing that was very foreign to me. We talk a lot on this show about getting real. doing the work and building a better life. Something I've been totally open about is my own struggle with an eating disorder. And if you're listening right now and feeling exhausted by constant thoughts about food, exercise, or your body, I get it. I know exactly how easy it is to tell yourself you're not sick enough to get help. But the truth is, eating disorders don't have a specific look, and you do not have to keep fighting this on your own.

That's why I'm so proud to partner with Equip. Equip provides 100% virtual evidence-based eating disorder treatment for all diagnosis and all bodies. You don't just get an hour of therapy a week. You get a full dedicated care team in your corner. That means a therapist, a medical provider, a dietitian, and a recovery coach who has actually walked this path and understands exactly what you're going through. You deserve more life than what an eating disorder gives you. Real recovery is completely possible. Visit equip.health slash Carl to book a free consultation today.

That's equip.com. Health slash Carl. A lot of people doing the work on themselves hit a wall that they can't explain. They're sober. They're in therapy. They're putting in the effort, but there's still a thought that won't quit. What if I'm fundamentally broken and no amount of work will fix me? What if I can't trust my own mind? And no matter what you do to try to feel better, it just keeps coming back. For millions of people, that loop isn't a sign they aren't trying. trying hard enough. It can actually be OCD, and most people never realize it. Not the organizing

stereotype. Real OCD is persistent. It's unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character. Along with mental or physical behaviors, you feel driven to do to get relief. These thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes them so upsetting. But it doesn't have to be that way, because OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. NECD needs ERP, or exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment. And that's where NOCD comes in. NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatment, and it's covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy and will help you learn to take the power away from intrusive thoughts

in live face-to-face virtual sessions. They also provide support between sessions when you need it the so you're never facing OCD alone. If any of this sounds familiar, visit nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call. That's nocd.com. When did you get fired? December 4th, 2015. How can we forget? It's also Jayce's birthday.

It's also the day I got my braces off in seventh grade. Like, why do I know that? Well, it's traumatic is why. You remember the traumas, of course. Yes, exactly. Clearly you were happy working there, right? Were you not? I loved it.

I worked at a beverage company. What beverage? I don't want to say the name, but it's an antioxidant infusion. And I was the assistant to the CEO and founder. And it was like my dream job. I loved it. I was his assistant. I learned the ins and outs of running a CPG brand.

I helped with investor relations, like all different things. And then Instagram started to become really popular. Then when I had about 10,000 followers on Instagram, they fired me from my job. I had just gotten married. They told me that my Instagram was going to be a conflict of interest. And I'm like, I don't. even like pay the bills with this Instagram. Like I'm just making recipes on the weekends. I think it's fun and I'm sharing them. So I had no idea was coming. Do you think they're kicking themselves now?

No, I don't think he cares. He made out well. He's fine. He did well? Yeah, he doesn't think about me. But I do see at Expo like a lot of people from the team, which is really sweet. That's cool. It's a full circle moment. But you still have good relationships, I would imagine. Yeah. Yeah. But like at the time now, did you realize that you were kind of, I mean, I feel like a lot of New Yorkers are to make money, honestly, you have to have like a couple hustles. Yes. But you weren't making money on the side. But you were passionate about it. It was fulfilling. You never thought in a million years you'd be doing this, but now it's like you clearly are really good at it. Thanks.

From the outside, I'm good at it. No, I was at a pizza place called Tapo. I don't know if it's still around. It was in Flatiron. So I go there all the time. I'm with my mom and dad. I went with my now husband. We had just gotten married.

And my parents were like, Rachel, give yourself six months. See if you could turn your passion of making recipes into a profitable business. If you can, corporate America is not going anywhere. You can go get another full-time job. Go work in like PR or in media, like whatever you want to do. I collected unemployment for six months. I started like a little consulting business where I would help smaller brands with like their influencer management and content creation. And then knock on wood, I haven't looked back in like 10, 11 years now.

So it just really took off. And I haven't stopped. Like I just, I love it so much. But so that firing moment. Yeah. Would you say that that was like a rock bottom for you? Yeah. I felt like a loser.

I was 25. Just got married. Had you ever been fired before that? No. So it was like one of the first big like things you had to face as like a young adult. That's so, it was my first time really, not like rejected, but like having that like... adversity a little bit. Yeah, like, and I wasn't in control over it.

I didn't know it was coming. I was completely blindsided. So how did that, if you don't mind me asking, that day you got fired? I remember it vividly. We'll talk to us about it. I was on like 35th or 36th and 7th. I was living on 26 and 8th. I love the details.

I know. What is wrong with me? No, this is good. I'm a number's person. But we're healing here. This is unpacking. It's true. I'm healing.

A decade later. A decade later. If you can laugh at it a little bit and this is why we're here. Hopefully you can be a little more, you can release a few things here. That's true. I walked onto the sidewalk and I'm like, I'm not calling my husband. And I remember just being like, oh my God, Rachel, like, what are you going to do? You just got married.

Like, you're supporting yourself with your husband. Like, what is going on? I walked into the elevator. I don't even get cried. I got into the sidewalk. I was like numb. And I called my dad and my mom. And I was like, guys, I was fired.

They were shocked. Like, I never got in trouble as a child. Like, very good grades. Like, I was a very easy kid. And I didn't even tell my husband the rest of the day. I was like, I'm not calling him. Like, he's going to think he married a loser. Like, I'm not, I'm not telling him.

And he's like, all right, we'll figure it out. Like, no one was concerned. No one was like, all right, whatever. Because they're like, you'll get unemployment. And the unemployment matched my salary. So I really had some cushion for a few months. But like walking home from that day. Oh, okay.

We're still walking home. Yes. I was 10 blocks. I walked home. I walked into my 400 square foot apartment where my kitchen was next to my pillow. And I'm like, okay, what do I do now? How do you think that was something that you needed to kind of to have to face that? I mean, maybe looking back on it now.

Yeah. Do you have maybe some appreciation for that moment? I appreciate the confidence that other people had for me in that moment. I was going to say it sounded like everybody was believing in you except for maybe you at that moment, which probably makes sense. Like I would have never had the guts or courage to even quit my job to start my own thing, ever. I don't think so. But you felt like a loser. Yeah.

Now. Now. Now, but you're not a loser. I was December 4th. A lot of people do. Well, I have been. been fired. I'm going to give you my firing story really quickly. We have the season one premiere of Summer House. Now, all summer, six months prior I've been filming for the first season ever,

Summer House, in the Hamptons. It's 2016. I was working a corporate sales job medical device. I told my manager at the time that I was going to be in the Hamptons a lot over the weekends, but I'm doing a documentary. Yeah, this is some documentary. Now, fast forward to January. Summer ends. Now, no one knows who we are at all. The show hadn't been, no trailer, nothing. At some point in early January, the trailer comes out, and then January, whatever day, the first episode premieres. We had a watch party. We all went out. I was up.

I was still awake through the night. 7 a.m. I'm drinking alone and doing cocaine in my apartment by myself. And I get a call for my manager at 7.30 in the morning. Him and I had had an up and down relationship now. But for a few years, I was like a top sales rep while liked. Now, there was always an air of like Carl partied a little bit too hard. He was always entertaining his clients too much.

but I had a reputation for sure. But now, fast forward this morning, he calls me. It rings and I see his name. Did you answer? Of course. I was coked up and drunk. And I'm like, hey, Jim. And he goes, Carl, I'm at the Hilton Garden Inn in Tribeca.

Bring your laptop and your cell phone. Today's your last day. Because of the trailer. Yeah, the trailer. I was driving the company car in the trailer. And also my numbers and sales performance was definitely struggling a little bit. From the summer. And they were also looking at, you know, just behaviorally.

I was. Oh, my gosh. God. What did you do? I tell you, I go, thanks for everything, Jim, but I'm not going to come meet you. I'll FedEx it back to you. Thanks for everything. Just hung up the phone. And so you didn't go?

Didn't go. Went to the bodega, picked up a six-pack of Pacifico. I actually called Lindsay. I called Lauren Workis. I called Kyle. And I, like, told them, I, like, laughed about it. But my way of dealing with it was like, oh, they were fucked them. They don't know what they lost.

Like, I developed this resentment and this kind of anger towards it. Wow. Now, it seemed like when you got let go that day. Did you just never look back or did you kind of carry some of that with you for those next little bit? I think I carried it. It's easy to. Yeah, because I was like, it's a jab to your ego. It's personal.

It is. And I also like, I was his assistant. So it really felt personal. Now, had it been handled maybe differently, would you feel? Yeah, I mean, looking back, they didn't even have a third party in there. And they didn't sound like you had a third party in there, like on the phone. So like they didn't even have HR or like someone else. And you're supposed to have like that third person that monitors the situation.

But I don't think everything happens for a reason. because there's some really fucked up shit that happens that I don't understand. But, like, things pan out. And so I just knew that something would come out of it. Yeah, things always find a way to work themselves out. Okay, so now I want to get into something about, this is a topic that I actually recently had a guest on. We were talking a little bit about disordered eating.

Okay. And it's actually a topic that some of our listeners and watchers have asked some more conversation about because it can be obviously in a similar family as addiction. Or it is, of course. but it's one of those topics that can be harder to talk about. We have to eat to stay alive, where alcohol or drugs is like you don't need to drink to stay alive. You don't need cocaine to stay alive. I never thought about it like that.

That's so true. A good friend of mine, Remy Bader has been on the podcast, and she talks about her story. And it's really powerful because some of the things you don't fully think about if you're not really struggling with that. But, you know, other disorders or other addictions, whether it's gambling, sex, food. Those are things that I don't always talk about. It was alcohol, drugs, mental health. Yeah. But I'm curious, like I've heard you talk about and share some of your kind of story.

Can you maybe shed some light on just kind of your disordered eating or how you open up about that? Yeah, for sure. I mean, first, I definitely want to preface by saying, like, I didn't have, like, a true, true eating disorder. Like, I had a pretty fucked up relationship with food. But I don't want to be mindful of, like, anyone listening that, like, I feel very, like, fortunate for, like, how this is, like, net out and, like, my story a bit. I think it started in like end of high school. Like I went through puberty pretty late. So I was always like, same.

And you're so tall. Late bloomer. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy. I was 4.11 and a half for the longest time. Now I'm like five, six. Yeah. Tiny.

So I was like pretty like, I was like baby chubby like baby fat kind of vibe for a while. Exactly the same. Oh yeah. That's really funny. It was just like a little chubby. When did you like? When did you grow? My senior year high school and then freshman year of college.

I came back after my freshman year of college and most kids didn't recognize. Like who are you? They were like, what? Who's that stud? Carl? What's he doing? Because I've gotten taller and leaner and just, like, thinned out. Yeah, that happens to me too.

So you were late bloomer. Late bloomer. Then I went to college. I gained, like, freshman, like, 25, 30. Was food a big topic amongst, like, the girls in high school? Not really. Like, no one was, like, obsessed with, like, it was such a different generation. I know.

No one had a cell phone with a camera. Like, I did Nokia with Tetris on it. Like, there you get, exactly. There was nothing interesting on my phone. Yeah. You and I are similar. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, great.

And so there was no, like, yo-yo dieting. Like, when I got to college, I gained a lot of weight. So I was having, like, chicken finger milk, which is a grilled cheese sandwich with a chicken finger in the middle of it. And I was, like, doing keg stands and funneling beer and slapping the bag. And so it was fun. But, like, why? I just wasn't taking care of myself.

I was drinking way too much. I was eating late night pizza. I was having grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken fingers and just not fueling my body, like, well. So I blew up. I gained a lot of weight. And I remember actually coming home being, like, kind of embarrassed. and my parents are very, very health conscious. My dad works out of the gym seven days a week,

like very into strength and resistance training. My brother was an athlete. And like, I remember she was like, oh, crap. Like, I don't look too good. My hands don't fit. How much did you gain, do you think? Between 25 to 35 pounds. So like the true freshman 15?

Oh, yeah. I was a walking cliche. And then that next year I pledged a sorority. And so we couldn't go out for like two, three months because we were like, you know, not being hazed, but we weren't, we weren't not, not being hazed. And so then we were eating even. more so I continued to gain weight even without drinking. Were you conscious of this at the time?

Like you were- Yeah. But it would be like 10 o'clock and my friends would like, let's go to Wawa. Like let's go get a meatball parm and like sour patched watermelon kids. And like we were like stone. That's like kind of what we would. It was high all the time. Like we were smoking and then like having an edible.

No, edible is not even a thing. It was all. It was like, can I say a bong? Yeah. Is that triggering to them? Of course. Bongs. And like all of the things that are just like not, you know, my hope my kids never

listened to this. And so then we would go to Wawa and we would get these like things. And then I just kept gaining weight. And then I actually, then it was like first semester or sophomore year was over. I went home for the holidays. I remember just being like, no, like you need to lose some weight. This is like, this isn't healthy. And my relationship with food, it was like the opposite end of an eating disorder kind of

where I was like bingey in a lot of ways. And it wasn't okay. Like eat your meals, have a couple of snacks. Like don't overdo it. And I was overdoing it. I'm always like a go big or go home person. Sure. So then I start calorie counting and like going off the deep end.

And I remember I was like petrified to eat a carbohydrate. And my grandmother, one said to me, you really have to eat carbs. Otherwise, like, your hair is going to fall out. I'm actually grandma. What are you talking about? Love a good grandma quote. And I know. It was so, my grandma from Staten Island.

And it was so random. And then I still remember it because my friend the other day was like, my hair is thinning and me. I'm like, do you eat enough carbs? Like, there's no scientific evidence of that. And I know. I was just say, maybe Staten Island evidence. Oh, my God.

I know. And so then I met my now husband. We started dating. I was 19. But when he met me, I was like, barely eating. So he thought that that was like just normal for me. And like he was also a 19 year old college dude. Like he didn't pay it.

You know, he wasn't paying attention to that. I would like only like, oh my God, this is so crazy. I would go to the cafeteria for dinner and I would get a three egg white omelet with nothing in it. It was literally, I don't know why I'm laughing. It's like that. Just egg whites. Three egg whites. And then I would have a packet of like the rolled gold pretzels.

And then I would dip it into mustard. And like that was literally my dinner. And I mean, I lost weight really fast from like doing things like that. And then that was like, yeah, early, that was like February, March of my sophomore year. Then I studied abroad that fall of junior year. I went to Florence. I don't know how many people that go to Florence and are afraid of carbohydrates, but there I was. You better not be because that's the land of carbs.

I would eat like the 90 calorie, like chewy granola bars. I would have like oatmeal packets. Were you miserable? Or were you still like? If you stalked my Facebook, like you would think I'm the happiest human. Like I was just like. Were you inside? internally?

Yeah. I was psycho. I was truly crazy. Like I was not. So you were just a control freak basically. Yeah, beyond. Yeah. Beyond.

And then I studied. So when I was, I studied abroad the same time as, as my husband did. And or boyfriend, whatever at the time. And he was in North, like the Netherlands and I was in Florence.

So we would see each other sometimes. And then I would be like, was it Zoom? Yeah, like Zoom with my friends. Skype. Skype. Skype.

Thank you. I got you. I was like, Zoom wasn't ready yet. No, I was like, what was it called? Because I knew it wasn't, but it was similar.

Skype. And so my friends at home would be like, are you okay? Like I like didn't look too good. And I got down to like 95 pounds. And like I'm 5'6. Like 95 pounds on a 5.6 frame is like not proportionate. Not healthy. Yeah. And I remember one day in Florence, I got out of the shower and I looked in the mirror and I still remember. The tile was like brown. And it was like this little mirror. And I looked in the mirror and I was like, you look like shit. Like you what did you just do to yourself in the last like nine to ten months, you look awful. I had lost my period. I was not healthy. Like, I felt like I was like, like, inverted. Like it just like didn't. And just so for me, the male who doesn't understand as well, losing your period because you weren't eating enough

or just your diet was so out of whack that your body just couldn't even process. My body was probably like in fight or flight mode. Like I felt like I was probably getting chased by a tiger all day. And so I was stressed out internally. I wasn't fueling my body. Like it was just fighting for it's life at that point. And you're probably not getting the right nutrients and the right vitamins. Yeah. Like, sorry Quaker, but your chewing granola bars are like not going to like fuel it for me. And so I was very, and I am to this day, like very blessed that like I called it out to

myself. Like I was like, you need to fix this. Like. But you were staring at the mirror. Yeah. 2011. Yeah. So would you say is that the moment that things like you were like, I got to change or

I got to get some support here or shift? Yeah. My parents came to see me and I was like freaking out. Would you say that was kind of like a rock bottom for you? That was the most rock bottom I've ever had in my life. And I appreciate you sharing that because I think it's important to be able to like hear some of that. Because not everybody has one, but then the ones that you can really reflect on it and use that as your power and like the foundation to go from. Yeah.

And like it wasn't easy. I remember meeting up with my parents in Rome. I took the train to Rome, met with them with my brother. And I remember my mom and dad like, they couldn't even like look at me. Like it was and I'm best friends with my parents. So like it was not okay. Were you ashamed or embarrassed? I was embarrassed.

but I also was like kind of mentally fucked up. Like I remember sitting down to go out to lunch with them like not wanting to have lunch because I was like, no, I'm just going to wait for dinner. And like that wasn't working for me. Like looking back, I'm like, I just wish I could have like shook, which I guess I kind did. Like just shake myself. Yeah.

And like it's going to be okay. Just like do what like, you know, your parents are suggesting and like they're caring for you. They flew across the world. Like come see you. Like eat lunch with them. Enjoy yourself. Did you tell them like, hey guys.

My mom was more patient with me for sure. My dad. No, they knew something was up. But you didn't. Yeah. Yeah. And they knew. And I think I wrote them an email actually being like I look different. Like yeah, no shit you look different. They see you on Facebook, Rachel. Like I was like I look really different. But I'm like trying to take care of myself and so. So they knew that I knew. But like I just feel like that generation. Like they're not big on therapy. Like we're talking about feelings as much. And my parents really are like now more so than than they were then. But they also, they didn't get it. Like neither of them had gone through what I was going through. So like they didn't really understand. So to my dad like bless his heart. But he's just like it's simple. Like. calories in calories ever. Eat more. Yeah, like eat more, exercise less. Like, this is what you're supposed to do. I remember sitting sitting at the foot of my bed at when I, eventually when I came back from abroad and him like explaining that to me. And I remember me being like, dude, I'm trying

to get away from calorie counting. Like, don't do that to me again. Yeah, that's not what I need here. Yeah. And so when at that moment though, when I had to start gaining weight to like look like myself again, I'm like, well, I don't want to just binge eat Oreos and dip him in peanut butter and like eat pizza hut to like gain weight. I want like, then I'm just going to like, it's just going to go yo-yo. What do I do to fuel my body so that I feel my best and I get back to like kind of where I was. And that was really when my passion for like cooking and like eating and just like paying attention to the ingredients really came in like hot and heavy. So you reminded yourself of what you were doing like back before you kind of started going off the off the rails like

where you're making food or you're. And just like not obsessing over it. Like just don't obsess over it. And I have a lot of difficulty following directions, which is a good thing like I work. At least you're honest about it. Yeah, no, like I can't, I can't follow a recipe directions. Like I feel like I'm almost like challenged. I'm like that too. Really? I had Legos as a kid.

I'd open the box and pour out all the pieces. Yeah. I'd get the directions and throw them. Exactly. And I would build it. I might not. I'd get it built, but I'd be like extra pieces would still be here. But it would somehow look the way the box looked.

See, that's how I am. I just like, I'm not interested. There's something I think about when you were just sharing this is like, sometimes when you're really hungry, you don't think clearly. You know, I even think of like cartoons, like the mirage, like when they're in the, like, wily coyotes in the desert and you can't find, you know, and you, like, you start appearing to seafood. Was there an element of, like, that period of time for you when you're not either starving

yourself or eating too much? Like, you were talking about that because I think that people don't. That's so true. Like, when you're out of it now, like, you can probably look back and be like, I was mentally out of my mind. And it wasn't drug related. It was because you're not nourishing your body proper. probably yeah I remember just like thinking about nothing else besides when I was going to eat next

and like how many calories I had consumed at that day and like looking back I'm just like racial like that was an absurd amount of calories that you're eating and then like what's your goal like what are you trying to do here yeah did you even have an understanding of how many calories you really needed per day no not at all my dad sat at the foot of my bed and you broke it down for me he's like you weigh this much your BMI's this yes I remember me like you need to eat 3,500 calories so you can gain weight like that's your goal per day and I was like oh So then I started doing that, but it was like with like banana and peanut butter and hummus and pita chips. Like healthier things to build.

Yeah. But like now with your kids. Yeah. How are you navigating being a parent and the healthy food options or educating them on maybe what mom? I mean, you're going to have to talk to me about this episode at some point. Yeah. No, that's true. That's true.

They know. I have some summer house. I have summer house episodes to explain to a future family of mine at some point. Well, last summer when I was binging all seasons of summer house, one day my middle son. came in and he's like, oh, what's with the girls in the bathing suits? And Jordan was like, get that off the TV, Rachel. What are you doing? I'll occasionally meet parents with young children that they're like, oh, they watch too. And I'm like, mom, they can't so much. They shouldn't be watching. No, they should be. Maybe with earmuffs. But I was like, and then if I pause it,

it's still there. So I was like, I don't know, it's still going to be on the screen anyway. So I'm not losing my spot. Can you repeat the question? The reason I, the reason I ask, just so you know, yeah, I've had parents on here that are alcoholic or drug addicts. Okay. But they're 10 years sober. Their kids never saw them like that. Your kids never saw you counting calories, really. No. But it's a huge part of what shaped who you are. So I'm curious how you kind of navigate educating your kids or teaching your kids how maybe not to be that way. No, it's actually that's really true. Or does that come up for you a lot? So I am very like, I keep grass fed, grass-finished meats in the house and we have like organic produce and we have like good quality

food. But like when we go out, my kids can have whatever they want. And I'm. And I'm, as long as there's no artificial dies in it. And I'm not like, you can't eat this, you can eat this. Like I don't say they can or can't do anything because I don't want them to like think some foods are bad and some foods are good. Like yesterday, my oldest son is seven. He went to a birthday party. He came home and I took him to the pool after.

And he's like, oh, mom, I had this iced tea. And then I had this thing. It was red. It was so good. Probably like Hawaiian Punch. Would I bring Hawaiian Punch into my home? Probably not. Actually, absolutely not.

But he's like, is it okay? I had it. And I was like, yeah, of course it is. I was like, you can't have that like every single day. But like when you're at a party and you're with your friends, like enjoy yourself, you can have it. So I think instilling that thought process where it's like everything in moderation, also like my husband has an amazing relationship with food too, which like really helped me get through like my moment. And I think because like I was raised in a time where like yo yo-yo dieting like weight watchers is popular. My mom worked for. She worked for weight watchers for 15 years. No way. After she gave birth to me, she gained a fair amount of weight. And at one point, I think, was 80 pounds heavier than she wanted to be. And there's a photo of us on a beach that was her, like, photo that she used as like the weight to lose from. Oh, my goodness. But then she worked at Weight Watchers for a long time. But I grew up counting calories at our dinner table and no portions bigger than your fist. Like a piece of chicken would be no bigger than your fist.

I know. Sometimes I think about that. Points, calories. Yeah. I was pretty ingrained. And I think that's also, like, when I got to college, I used to overeat. I used to smoke bongs and order Domino's 555. Yeah, we go to do a blurry best time? But did you track the dominoes on the computer screen?

Yes. It's in the oven. He's coming. But you know what I get, Rachel? Not to get dark, but I'd throw up. And I told this to a guest we had on. And I've never really opened up about this part of it. But it was in junior and senior year of college where I would overeat like crazy after drinking a lot.

I have chills. But I would pull the trigger. And I never told anybody because I was so embarrassed. I mean, I'm a six-foot-five guy. You would never assume. You never want to talk about that. I'm sorry. I have learned, thank you.

I've learned of some men that have opened up about some of that. Yeah. But there was a lot of like, for me in college, I wanted to be liked. I wanted to meet girls. I wanted to be cool. And I always felt like a little less than. And like the control I could get from like throwing up or feeling like I was Skinnier or whatever it was it gave me so much power but well then you're like oh I could eat it

Because I'll just throw it up exactly but then it really messed me I had indigestion problems I was just gonna say it's not like am I like esophagus was jacked up like if I ever ate anything else Spicy it like could mess you up but it wasn't a long period of time like I it was also informed a lot by weed and drinking Because we get really drunk and smoke a lot of weed and then you're not in control over what you're Exactly so I was also making bad decisions but no I of course I think it's something as I've gotten more comfortable talking about a lot of my story, especially men, I don't think, open up about it. That will help so many men because I do think that like disorder eating within men is actually probably just as common for women as it is for men, just not spoken about because a lot of men are just like. Yeah, we're not about it.

The thought of men admitting that is like scary. Yeah, no. I want to talk about and not to shift away from that, but like sobriety. You know, we're talking about a lot of things that are addiction and things. I know. So if you're comfortable. Yeah. Talk to me about some of your relationship. Talk to me about your relationship with alcohol or where you stand.

So, well, we spoke with a little bit about college. So I was like really go binger go home. You were in a sorority though. I was in a sorority. There was a night when I drank too much and locked myself in my dorm room and then was puking in my sleep. So like there is times where I was like overdoing it in college. Graduated I was casually drinking. I would say like we'd go out for dinner. I'd get like a martini. I'd get a glass of wine. I would get, you know, whatever we wanted. And then I. I. got pregnant with our first and I got a martini. I got pregnant with him on my birthday because we did fertility treatment. So like I knew like when the procedure was. Yeah. And I remember me like to the doctor, can I like go out for a drink tonight? Like and I had like a very, I don't believe in the word balance, but like I had a balanced relationship with alcohol at that point. Like post grad like I knew I was coming out of college like, okay, you really can't be drinking all the time like drink on the

weekends. Like I'm a very regimented person. So like for me, once I'm in a routine like it was okay. but I was like hung over very easily. And then when I got pregnant with Ezra, I had a martini, a martini straight up with a twist. It was like one of my favorite things. I love your detailed memory of these moments. Like truly you're going to do. I know.

It's good. We were at a restaurant Rouge Tomat, which is now closed, but it was in flat hour and Chelsea area. And we got to dinner with everyone. I got a martini. Two weeks later we find out we're pregnant. Amazing. And then had Ezra.

And then I just like never wanted to drink. I was just like, I don't think I could be the mom that I want to be and be hung over. Like, it's just not for me. And I had three kids in under four years. So my oldest was three. That's, by the way, that's a feat. No, it is.

And I have three boys. They're all 22 months apart. Oh, my God. And so I was just, like, in the thick of it at that point of, like, early, the early days of parenting. And I just didn't want to drink. I didn't feel the need. And I also, it was in a time where people were, like, proud to be sober or, like, oh,

I don't drink. Like now I was out. It wasn't like cool, I guess. Yeah. I went on Saturday night and my friends like, oh, I stopped drinking and like flicks her hair. And I'm just like, when I wasn't drinking, I met those people and I try not to be that way. But I'm proud of that person. Exactly.

Proud of you. I'm like, that's great for you. But like then I'm like, okay, that's fine. But like people would be like, oh, do you want something to drink like over those seven years with me not having any alcohol? Like, no, I'm okay. And like, are you sure? Like you still love this? I'm like, I'm not like sober.

I'm not ever covering, like, I didn't have like an addiction here, but I just don't feel like drinking. It doesn't serve you anymore. It didn't. Exactly. It just wasn't serving me. I would just drink like Celtsor or Diet Coke or whatever it may be because mottails really weren't a thing either. It was kind of boring. Well, we came up with soft cocktails. That's what we do here. You had to try yours. I know. I was like, I've been distracted. I've been a little. Well, here, why don't we take a little sip break? Okay, cheers. Cheers. I love these glasses too. Thank you. This, that it's in this place are great. We, um. Oh, this is nice. We invested in some really good.

It's a lot that sweet. I like that. It's the Hibiscus? It was the last one on the menu. Yeah. The current... I was told to get it. I was like, just pick one. Yeah, that's a new menu item we have.

I love it. But soft cocktail is what we need here. Can everyone see? Yes. Thank you, Rachel. A product placement. So I, um, last May, I was walking into a dinner with my friends and it was a Friday. And I was like, really stressed and not like in a, I don't know.

I was just like a little like, ooh, like I couldn't stop. Like, I was really tense. And my husband jokingly was like, do you want to go. of wine. And I was like, you know what? Could you get one and I'll have like two sips? And he got one and I had a couple of sips. And I was like, oh my God. Okay. And then they woke up the next day and I felt great. And then I was like, I actually like enjoyed that. Like I didn't like binge drink. I don't feel hungover. I like listened to my body and not to sound like a walking cliche where it's like listen to your body. Like I actually like for the first time in so long, I didn't want to say no.

And I didn't feel like it was irresponsible of me because of my past relationship with alcohol. It wasn't like I couldn't handle it. Like I knew I could handle my life. liquor and like be, you know, it would be okay. It wouldn't be like me like doing a 180 or like, you know. So then I had some wine and then like the next weekend I did the same thing. And then I eventually had like a glass of wine. And I was like, wow, I actually enjoyed it. And like since then like I share that because like I don't want like my relationship is so different with alcohol. Yeah, not everybody's is the same. I respect and I like really like I give you so much like appreciation for sharing your story because it helps so many people. And sometimes I almost feel like,

I gate keep my story because I don't want it to trigger someone. I'd be like, oh, well, she didn't drink for seven years. And then she drinks. And, like, now she's fine. Like, no, like my situation was, like, so different. Sure. So now, like, I went out, like, it was my birthday last week. Happy birthday.

Thank you, Gemini's, you know. And so we went out a couple nights. And I probably had a total, like, four drinks over the course. I mean, you're on Summerhouse. I had four drinks over three days, okay? I said four drinks in 30 minutes. Exactly. So, but to me, I'm like, that sounds like so much to me.

but I was like, I actually had a lot of fun. Like, I had a blast. And I feel like for this era of my life, I'm enjoying it so much. And like, I don't like mix my alcohol. Like, I like what I like. You're being an adult. And it seems like you've done a lot of, you've done work also too. Yeah.

But has there been any part of this, you know, more recent in the last however long you have a few more drinks here and there? Have you, has it brought you at all back to like that college? No. Like a college like person where you're like the drinking and overeating. or under eating. Is that into your mind at all? No, because I think that like when I was over,

when I was drinking too much in college, I think it was because of like all the other issues that were then taken out with like the eating. Sure. You know, and I think that when that was in a really good place, like I just think it stopped impacting me. Like I also just knew that like when I graduated college, like,

okay, you're done. Like you can't. That chapter's closed. And my husband's like pretty reserved. So like he's not someone who's like, he's in that sense is like a good influence for me. Sure. So like, you know, he like, I like had him try, encourage him to try and edible like a few

years ago. Like, come on live a little. Like, let's go. He found me like peeing on the side of the street in college. Like I was like unhinged and he like brought me down and I was like. Well, shout out to the partners. Shout out, George. Because a lot of the partners in whether it's addictions with sex, food, gambling, alcohol, drugs.

Yeah. The partner that's involved is also sometimes it's very challenging for that person. for sure showing up and supporting but it can be thankless yeah you know can be very not fulfilling and a tough place to be but I want to acknowledge those that show up and support because it's important that's the only way you're going to get through it honestly you couldn't have I was going to ask you couldn't have done this alone no with my family and Jordan like I wouldn't I wouldn't be where I am today and like with Jordan like we're like true partners like I've helped him with his like insecurities and vulnerabilities he helps me with mine like that's what we're there for each other for I love that

and then can we get into like the business of it? Yeah. Yeah. So like you have, you know, this amazing personal story. And I feel like just as an aside, like you overcoming gaining all that weight and then getting back to a healthier place. Like do you use that? Like do you think about that all the time? Like I overcame. No. I don't have time to think about anything. You're got three boys. No, my kids. All I'm thinking about is I have a car parade tomorrow at 915 and then I have graduation for two hours. And I have a reading celebration tomorrow at 10 o'clock. How am I going to get there from the car? Okay. This is good. How the hell do you do all that and then run a, really cool and growing CPG startup that you are going to be in. What retailers are you in now? So Kadoots is, we launched D2C on our website in January, then we're on Amazon, and then we have an exclusive with Target. That's why I said. Target is like, they call us their big bet of 2026.

So they have all five, excuse me, launch three are cheddar, crackers, sea salt, and ranch, and then our snack packs for two of those flavors. Amazing. Yeah. But like when you get on that, when you get on that pitch, because I pitched Target with Kyle, Yeah. Many times. We were in their stores for a little bit, and then we pitched them again with one of our new

products that we're trying to bring to the market. Okay. It fell through, unfortunately, but we're still going to bring it to life, but maybe through soft bars channels. Okay. Well, that's amazing. It's like a functional energy drink that we're working on. Okay.

Keep me posted. But no, usually when I talk about Kadoots, it's like, I'm a mom of three. I really struggled with like snacks for my kids that I thought checked all the boxes. And so why don't we just create this ourselves? I've said many times I would never start a company, like a food. company. I also run a venture capital fund. And we were investors in over 25 companies now. Like, you know, we were talking about Grooons before. That's one of our portfolio brands. Like, there's a lot of great brands and the better for you space. I didn't want to start a snack

company. I didn't want to start any type of a company within this route. And here you are. Here I am. Here I am. That's on target shelves. Yeah. And like, I didn't, I had no desire to do it. My business partner in soft bar says he never wanted to open a bar. And now look, see? That's what we're doing. You just, you never say never. Yeah. Truly. And so I didn't think. that this was like the trajectory of my career. But as I'm like getting older, I'm like, this is where I want to be so badly. And like I'm so passionate about making people's lives easier in the kitchen in every aspect. So it's like I have my recipes.

I have my new cookbook coming out like more pleas, which is more life. We're like very synergistic. And then Kadoot. So it's like I'm checking all the boxes for people. And then if they want to invest in a brand, call me up and like I'll help you. You're like a one stop shop. Yeah. Like I want to make people's lives easier.

And like doing so with Kadoots is like to me, it's amazing. Like to get DMs from people of like seeing their kids eating something that took my husband and I like three years to get off the ground like yes you get it. Being a mom like makes me be able to do this. Like I thought of the idea for Caduce what I had my youngest. So like he's three and a half now. Like you just have like a like just all of a sudden epiphany? Yes. No, that's how.

Were you eating like an Nabisco or like a triscuit? I was standing at the kitchen counter packing lunch boxes for two of my three two of the three kids. And I was like, oh my God, I can't pack that because I was nuts in it. Oh, I don't want to pack that because I don't like the ingredients. Like, why am I buying this if I like don't even want to give it to my kid? Oh, I'm buying it because they want to eat it. And like a parent is vulnerable and desperate to feed their children. So I walked into my husband.

I shared an office because before running canudes together, he worked with me for like my Rachel Mansfield business. And I walked in. I was like, George, we're starting a snack company. You ready? And she's like, what I'm doing? Like I still as I'm like, Rachel's the visionary and then she puts me to work. Like that's, I'm like, we're going to do it.

It's a great partnership. Yeah. And so then I called what am I good? friends who also runs a VC fund that we like co-invest with a lot and I'm like Kiva we're gonna Kyle knows Kiva so I was like Kiva we're gonna start a snack company we're gonna do it and you had no name no idea really what we're doing no we didn't have it is nameless where does this like confidence come from oh I don't I don't think I'm not confident is it seems but yes very or very sure like you know you're not afraid to take a jump or a leap and I think that's not everybody has that skill set

but I'm wondering where that comes from that I think because the, I mean, the worst that could happen is you fail and then you just don't do it anymore. Of course. I think there's some people who watch, maybe watch our show and are maybe not feeling stuck, but maybe looking for some. Yeah. Something that kind of kind of push them to that next step. I mean, I was always made fun of when I was like, I would carry the overnight oats into my job at the advertising agency.

And they would be like, oh, what are you eating mush? Like, do, da, da, da, da, like, go figure now. And then moose is. Yeah. Which is what I wanted to start, if you remember from the beginning of the episode. Yep. And so I was like, huh, okay. Like, and then people always make fun of me.

They were projecting. Yeah. They were jealous that they couldn't prepare their own. And then what I saw was like, well, well, if I share my recipes on the internet, people actually are really into them. So like maybe I think has confidence. Like the people close to you will rip on you and then the total strangers on the internet. But then over time, that will change.

And it already has. Like it's crazy. Now your friends are like, oh, can I get the overnight? Yeah, exactly. And so I'm like, okay, wow. And I think at that time, like I didn't have confidence. And I think now that I saw, like, if I just follow my gut and like my passion, other people do have that same passion or maybe you.

are interested in it too. And it could lead to good. So would you say like anybody who's out there thinking about starting a business or making it just do it? I have a couple more questions and we do need to wrap up. Okay. That's one thing you wish you could tell that college, Rachel, who is feeling overweight, unhappy, miserable, lost.

Oh, you're a rock star. Just have confidence in yourself. You got it. And don't take everything so seriously. And what? I was so serious. What is giving you more life right now? My three children.

So much life and stress No, my boys are my ever I have three boys and they are like the loves of my life Like they give me more life They really, it sounds so cheesy But like I never thought that I'd be so obsessed with being a mother Like I knew I'd want kids and I would have them But I was like there's nothing I love more than my children

My three boys now I'm so glad you came in It's like I'm inspired by your story immensely And just what you're building is really cool And I've tasted the crackers myself They're really good I like the sea salt ones the best Those are my favorite

I brought you more and I brought our snack packs It's like a light blue box right Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, they're a good marathon training snack. Yeah. Rachel was very kind when I met her at Expo. As she immediately made sure I got some of her crackers. Yeah. Maybe next year I'll be, we'll be, we'll be, hopefully we'll be at Expo with Softbar at some point.

Carl, thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Shout out my mom. No, shout out to your fan. Thanks. But thank you for being here. Thank you. Big shout out to Rachel Mansfield. Thank you.

And her company Kadoots. Thank you so. Hope you guys check us out next time here at Softbar. Like, rate, review, subscribe. Check us out on YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you watch your podcasts. Thank you guys for being here. More Life is produced by Annie Siegel and executive produced by Adam Reynolds of Denham Pictures. This episode was directed by Annie Siegel, edited by Mikey Ortiz, and recorded at SoftBarr Studios in Brooklyn, New York.

More Life is a production of Sony music entertainment. From Sony, our executive producers are Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay. Original music by Function Adams. Sound mixing by Ian Sorrentino, set design by Michael Ignacio, publicity by Caitlin Healy, additional support from Abby Sharp, and a special thanks to Alison Shano and Joanna Orland.

New episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time.