More Life with Carl Radke - Navigating ADHD, Motherhood, and Quitting Alcohol with Cameron Rogers

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

Cameron Rogers is pregnant, and no — that's not why she doesn't drink. The Conversations with Cam host quit alcohol years before this pregnancy, for reasons that had nothing to do with a baby and everything to do with how she wanted to feel. She sits down with Carl — who brings his own perspective on sobriety and letting go of control — to talk ADHD, the car accident that taught her she couldn't control everything, and why she refuses to call herself "sober" even after years without a drink. It's a sharp, honest conversation about alcohol, motherhood, and doing things on your own terms. Sponsors: Momentous: If you want to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, head to livemomentous.com and use code LIFE for up to 35% off your entire first order.  Square: Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/RADKE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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by J.D. Power is designed for your everyday. And with available all-wheel drive, you can handle your to-do list with total confidence. Start your build at Chevrolet.ca. Details at J.D.Power.com. Hey, guys, I'm Carl Radke, and welcome to Moore Life. I've got a special guest today on the show. We have Cameron Rogers.

She is the host of Conversations with Cam. She's a mental health advocate. Can't wait to talk to her. Excited to dive in here at Soft Bar. live in Greenpoint Brooklyn. All right, Cameron Rogers. Hi. Welcome to More Life.

I'm so happy to be here. Also, I know I said this to you, but this is really amazing what you felt. You should be really proud. No, thank you. I'm very proud. I say this a lot. I've had a lot of help. But still, the key, I think sometimes is knowing when you don't know and then asking for help

or finding the right people. So I'm very lucky. One of my friends is an interior designer. And he helped. Great job. Shout out to Michael Ignacio and pottery barn for all of our beautiful pieces. Very nice. But this podcast is called More Life.

And I don't know if you remember when you're binging Summerhouse, but this is something I used to say a lot. But it's something more I have embodied as a mantra, just like taking advantage of opportunities, living your life to the fullest. Tomorrow's not promised one day to time, but like live it all up. Is there a phrase that you find yourself saying out loud or embodying? I'll give you two. Some people don't even have any. So this is great. Well, I have so many like affirmations and mantras and things.

Some am affirmation girly. One, I would say I played sports my whole life and my parents both played sports at a college level. So it was very like sports childhood. And their thing was like, leave it all in the field. If you're going to do something, do it. And I'm not saying it has to be perfect, but like I will always try my hardest. And I definitely took that as a kid in sports and throughout college and stuff. But I think I've also applied it to like this phase of life in the sense of really leaning into what I'm doing and trying my hardest.

And then I also, I constantly catch myself saying the universe has my back over the past two years. I like that one. And ever since I started saying it, these things just happen. And I have a woo-woo side. I'm a little woo-woo, too. And we like woo-woo. Like, I've worked with a healer for 20 years. So I'm not religious, but I believe in the universe and the law of attraction.

Yeah, totally. When something negative happens, do you say the universe fucked me? No, because I, again, I don't. I don't love everything happens for a reason because really shitty things happen to people. Yeah. And I think that when you're in that phase and someone says that, it just sucks. Were you always into, I mean, you came from an athletic background. I'm curious.

What was your best sport? I played soccer in La Crosse. I played on a better soccer team. Like, we were ranked number one in the nation. And then I was better individual at La Crosse. So I ended up playing that in college. Were you the type that like when you got injured, you played through injuries? I had a high pain tolerance.

Yeah. Because I would think if your parents are kind of like, leave it all out in the field. Yeah, I had high beat up. Like you better get your ass carried off the field if you're coming off the field. I left my office desk at my like corporate job, which I want to get into by the way. And got my appendix taken out at seven o'clock. So that pain tolerance. But I think it's honestly gotten much weaker ever since I got older. But back in the day, I did have a, yeah. But it wasn't until I got hit by car in Brooklyn actually. Well, I was crossing the street. And when was this?

2018. And I had a really back incussion. And so that's when I kind of left my corporate job to start So you had been working in, yeah, because you had been working in what, you're a trader or finance? Sales and trading, yeah, but I wasn't a trader. I was on the sales side. Got it. And so you were just, can you talk to us about the car trash a little bit if that's okay? I was walking to a yoga class after work on Friday and it was snowing. And I give all these details because I was such a control freak. And I did everything that was actually right in this moment. And this was kind of a wicket call for me of like you can control everything. And the world is just going to hand you what to hand you. So like I had my hood on, but I was, I j walk all the time. I was at a crosswalk.

I had the walk sign. I looked both ways. I was clear to go. And he came flying down and turn left, but just didn't see me. So he had the green sign, green light to go straight and to go left, but he didn't see my body. So he hit the side of my body. And so I had a really back inccussion. Did you get like flown?

I like flew onto the car and then onto the ground. But of course, me, like I got up and I was like, oh my God, is he like he's probably freaking out. Like I went to like protect this man. I don't know why. Like I was like, we don't have to call the police. It's okay. Like I thought I was fine. Then I got to the yoga studio and I was like, my head is literally pounding.

I started crying. I realized what happened. Like I was in such shock. Yeah. That whiplash. Yeah. It takes some, it takes, it could even be the next day. Totally.

That was when I ended up going back to the hospital the next day. So during this window of disability that I was on at work was when I started journaling and when I started and when I started meditating and when I started really leaning into like, how how long were you out for me? Out of like commission, let's say. Six weeks. Holy shit. Because I couldn't, my neurologist did not want me back in front of a computer screen

until I went two straight weeks without a headache. Sure. So like by the end of disability, I was functioning, but like being in front of a screen. Yeah, you're still having to like rewire a little bit. Yeah, concussions are. Narly. So while you're in this concussion state, you're just trying to kind of find anything and everything to like. Anything to latch on to, to give me hope.

And I really think that's when I started my like inner work. And then I think over the years, it's just progressed, you know, as I went on anxiety medication, which we can obviously get into. I want to get into that too. You know, that helped me really clear all of my anxious thoughts. And then I think the biggest thing was giving up alcohol really tapped into a different version of me that feels even more connected again to the universe. I know that sounds weird. But just to my greatest power. It doesn't sound weird.

Yeah. So, okay. Maybe you feel the same way. You got in this accident. Yes. I'm throwing a lot at you. No, this is what I wanted. This is why we're here.

You're giving me more life right now. No, I think I'm just curious, like when you're going through this kind of recovery point. Yeah. Obviously, getting hit by a car sounds really, I mean, I can't even imagine. You're lucky to be alive, obviously. Yeah. But recovering and like trying to kind of find yourself or finding things that are inspirational, you also stop drinking.

I stopped drinking. No, not around that time. A little bit after that. Well, so I wasn't drinking because of the concussion. And what's interesting is I was so. angry about it because it wasn't my choice. Sure. So I remember going to a bar and I was 27.

I was engaged. It was like in the middle of the year I was engaged. And I remember when I first started to feeling better going out to a bar and turning to my then-fiance and being like, I have to leave. Like my head is pounding. It's way too loud in here. And that kept happening. And if I would have like a drink, I would have, you know, such intense symptoms the next day that weren't always happening beforehand. And I remember crying to him at one point being like,

I feel like this was just ripped from me and that's not fair. I love drinking. I love having fun with my friends. I love going out. This is so fucking annoying and getting so angry. And I really believe it's because it wasn't my choice. Because I have none of those feelings now that I stopped drinking. And I stopped drinking four years ago, but that was after I had my first kid.

Wow. My thing was I drank, but I never drank to get drunk. I was drunk, sure, in college. yes, a lot, and like out of college. But I just loved alcohol. Like I grew up in a very alcohol forward households. Same. We were the house.

My parents had a drink every single night. I thought it was crazy that some of my friends' parents didn't drink every night. We were the house to throw all the parties. Like my mom would buy, sorry mom, like she would buy us kegs. There are those parents out there. Yeah. They would rather have you drink under their supervision in their household. They could take the keys away.

They can make sure people get home safely. My dad would agree with all of that. My mom would too. I do agree, honestly, with my parents said, they said, give me the keys. She hid them. Everyone slept there. And she said, I will buy you beer if no one brings hard alcohol into his house. And my friends all obliged because they loved her and, like, she would always serve us parties.

Which I feel like is the right way to go. Me too. So because of that, I never, like, I didn't get to college and was like, alcohol and was blacking it. I was not the friend that anyone was taken care of. I was taking care of people. That probably had to do with it. But you were like a good kid. Yeah.

Like you never got in trouble really. But if you did, it was like slap on the wrist a little bit. Yeah, I got more in trouble of like girl drama being drunk of like screaming and fighting and Which is never, which could be equally difficult honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Having like friends or family or people are the drama and listen, alcohol can be a very big drama producer for friends. I mean, hello summer house.

Hello summer house. Yeah, no, huge. And I think that that was probably the worst. But then I think the biggest detrimental effect it had on me was with my mental health. That's why I stopped. It wasn't that I felt I, my, my, my journey. to not drinking has nothing to do with addiction. It has everything to do with the way my brain works. I love that. And truthfully, it was waking up hungover or not even after a few drinks and realizing

this makes me not enjoy motherhood. And I really love my kid. And I actually think I'm a really good mom. And I love being a mom. So why am I actively doing something that's making me hate something I love. Totally. No, I mean, I think you bring up a great point, which is something like in the world I live in. You know, I've gone to AA. I still go to AA. I got a sponsor. Still talk to a sponsor. I've worked program and work steps. It's been amazing for me. In my five years now, I've met so many people that, hey, Carl, I don't drink because I have Lyme disease or I've had a religious thing or I have a mental thing. And at the other day, alcohol, I mean, if you think about it, it's a depressant. It's a poison. It's a poison. And what you get is this like the brush and then this falls off a cliff.

and I dealt, yes, I'm an addict, but I also, the anxiety in that next day, you know, I didn't have children, not yet, I want to at some point, but the responsibilities were different, but I still, that next morning was feeling horrible. And, like, it was the mental side. I was like, I was just continuing to go through the cycle. And it was more about how I feel mentally now. Of course, there's a bunch of other reasons, but the mental side of it has been a massive unlocking.

Massive. I mean, I never understood watching Summerhouse that you guys, like, got up and went on to, like, like berries or ran like that. That was the only way to keep yourself somewhat stable a little bit. But like how nice is it now when I wake up like when we go to weddings and the next morning we're at breakfast and everyone's like, ugh, I look at them and I'm so happy that I'm not know what a hangar it feels like anymore. You're chipper.

Like thank the fucking Lord. And whenever I have hard days with my kids after like sleep really impacts me. So even if I am not drinking, I still like feel a little irritable. Yeah. But I just say to myself, thank God I'm not hung over on top of this. Anything is better than. Yeah. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become

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a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. As far as like, I want to go back to like your career in New York City, drinking and partying a little bit. I would imagine, like, you know, you had fun and you did your thing, but you were focused on work and all that. Like, did you go out every night? Okay, so I think culture has changed.

Oh, that's why I'm at, because I've been in New York since 2013. And I've been, I mean, people used to smoke cigarettes outside of bars everywhere. Yeah. That's how you used to meet girls. And my younger sister is five years younger than me. And I remember when she moved here, my husband and I were like, why aren't you out every night? This is crazy.

And it was just a different, like that era. Like that era. I don't know. Where was your favorite club? Clubbing phase. It wasn't always up to me. My husband's roommate at the time, like, love to buy tables. I was Bobby Bottle Service.

So we would go to like lava. We would do all the meatpacking ones. Like it was just a different era. I do remember with my industry working in sales and trading, it's a big drinking. You know, you're out with clients a lot culture. My desk specifically was a little less than some of the other desks. But I never liked that side of it. Like I wanted to only drink.

when I felt I wanted to drink. I hated feeling like I had to drink on someone else's agenda, which is how I always felt with clients. I'm like, I don't want to be hungover because of this because I'm drinking with these old people. Were other, like, colleagues of yours successful because they entertain clients?

Probably. Because I had a period, like, my career before I was in reality. Sales. But a part of my sales career was, I saw the best sales reps, making like the quota and being the top of the list.

They were entertaining clients. They were going out to dinner. Always. They were buying the staff bottles of wine at Christmas. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, I can party. I'll do that. I'll do that. But what I felt like is, did I really want to go out to dinner with my clients and get drunk to get their business? No, but it's starting to become this self-fulfilling prophecy. But I hated the feeling like I had to be the last to leave. It's midnight.

I had to be at the desk at 6.30. And this older guy is like, let's get shots. I don't fucking want a shot. And I do remember there was one day I showed up, really hung over to work. And I fucked up a trade. And I will never forget this. And, you know, they do the whole thing. Like, if you can't soar with the Eagles, don't hoot with the owls or something, whatever the saying is.

And I was like, lesson learned. So I would be like pretending to drink all the time with clients. If you can't get up and get to the desk on time and do your job, you can't be up that late. 100%. Which is true. Well, I guess how was that balance for you with a culture of the finance world where there's drinking? And obviously being a woman, I would imagine, has tons of other challenges in that environment. How long were you there?

Five years. Five years. Did you, I mean, that balance of New York City, but having a job, like, how hard was that for you at times? The only time I felt it was hard was when we were in our early 20s and we would go out as a like my group of friends. And I felt like some of my friends had jobs where like maybe they could call in sick the next day or just like half ass and be hung over. Yeah, mail it in. Yeah. And I felt like I always had to be the first one to go home, which is honestly typically me. Like I'm never the one that needs to stay out the latest at all. I'm like, my bed is calling me. But I remember feeling

jealous of like, why, like this is so intense. I wish I could. And they felt like I was missing out on things and maybe not getting invited to things. That was hard in my early 20s. And I also find that the hardest part about my time there was as a competitive, fast-paced go-go-go-go person. I did really well there, but it turned the dial up on all of my not-so-great tendencies. Sure. That allowed me to really perform well at work, but was hurting my personal life. That's like really interesting and powerful because I think, well, for you as someone who's like this high performer, but then you're applying that same energy and then you played lacrosse and college? What was your relationship with alcohol like in college. I was not the friend that people were taking care of. But you were taking care of other friends?

I was taking care of other friends. I was drinking. I was partying. I had many crazy fucking. So I never did any drugs in college. I've never snorted anything. I've never smoked a cigarette. I've never smoked a hug right now. Thanks. I know why. My mom told me you will love cocaine. She was a banker because she was a banker. She was a she did coke because she was a banker. She said you will love cocaine. You will become addicted to it. Never touch it. And I never did. Very smart. That was my. Yeah. I never smoked a cigarette because I watched her smoke cigarettes and I hated it so much. And I think I had smoked weed in high school and I had one paranoia. I love cannabis now. But in high school, I had a weird moment with it. And in college, in our like team rules, it says no weed. And I'm, I was like, okay. Was drinking like cool within the team? Drinking was cool within the team. As long as you weren't drinking 48 hours before games. And I completely abided by that. Like I would not break up. So you never had any, yeah. Did that change your. I should be drinking at all? Or did you drink maybe a little bit more because of that? No, I really feel like I felt very comfortable with my relationship with alcohol.

There were times where I was like, I wonder why I am able to stop before blacking out and throwing up everywhere and all these people aren't. Like, I wonder what that is. It's great, but I wonder why. And sometimes I would be like, am I not cool like them? Have you ever connected the dots between that feeling of like you were focused, you were playing a game or sport? Of course you weren't drinking.

So why not apply that same mentality to podcasting? No, I think I was too young to put those pieces together. I've now put it together later in life. Like, I look back when I was seven or eight years old. Like, I played sports. Yeah. Did I drink or use drugs now? I was happy and focused on school.

Yeah. So I try to remember that, embody that kind of feeling and put it into now. Like, I still am passionate. So interesting. I also think I cared a lot about academics in college, which was never the case in high school. I did not do well in high school because of sports. Sure. And I have ADHD.

and I don't think I had figured out how to navigate that. But my overachieving anxious tendencies... I'm very overachieving anxious, so I relate to what you're saying. I will never forget my freshman year. I was like, let's see, what will happen if I actually try? And so I tried really hard. And I got a 393 freshman fall. And instead of being like, this is amazing, I was like, I can never do worse than this.

I have to graduate with a 393. And then I became like really obsessed with the good grade side of things. So I do pride myself on that. Like I took my academics very seriously. Yeah. But I do think a lot of it was also me figuring out how to navigate my ADHD in a way that works. So navigating your ADHD in college, I want to ask about that because I, when I was at Syracuse University, I had friends that were like, we called them study buddies. They were Adderall.

Some people would have a prescription that they were given. and sell them. Some people would get them from some other place. There was like 10 milligrams and 20 milligrams and third of a minute. I got some tens from a friend. I took it to study and it changed my life. Yeah. I then set up an appointment at the campus psychologist and he's like, Carl, your mind's like a Ferrari with no brakes. So he wrote me a script for 20. And for a period of time, it was amazing. Were you taking it also to party? Or no, because you like to cook. I take it to party then, too. Because I say I never did cocaine, but like I would take Adderall to party. is basically synthetic.

Synthetic cocaine. So I just wanted like... No, and I think you've never really snorted anything, though, which... People would snort it and I would put it in my guns. Yeah. But like those nights, I remember waking up the next morning. Hungover as hell? Feeling like I was actually like dying inside of my body.

I've had some hangovers from coke and heavy drink. Because the coke would make you allow you to drink more. That was the same. So the hangars even more crazy. But then just, I think everything in your body is just like, what did you just do to me? Think about what you're doing to it. Like it's not good. You're destroying it.

I now am on ADHD medication because the addition of motherhood throws your ADHD into a whole new pool. And the addition of my second child was what really like tipped everything for me. Which I feel like is from what I've understood is pretty common with women postpartum. We talked about a little bit with the alcohol part. But they're all hand in hand, the mental health, the alcohol. When was that first moment you were like, okay, I'm not going to drink? It was so random. One of my very good friends, Emily Diednado, she always jokes that she,

like our relationship through her into sobriety. It was not like some crazy night at all. We went to Boris Sardine and then due west. I think I had three drinks again. But it was not like a crazy night. And I woke up the next morning and my son was, he was probably 10 months old at the time. Yeah.

So you've had a few years after working in finance, you're still doing your thing as a mom. You and your husband are living the dream here. We're living in New York. We had our almost one year old. And I just. remember waking up and being like, fuck this. I don't want to read these books. I don't want to narrate everything I'm doing to you. I don't want to hear these songs. I just didn't want to do it.

And I had this, again, realization, and I think I said this, where I love my child and I love being a mom and I think I'm good at it and I want to love it. Why am I doing something that makes me dislike it? And so I turned to my husband and I was like, I'm just going to like give myself some time off. And at this point, my relationship with alcohol was I had implemented these things called Sober Mondays because I realized I was drinking every day. And again, not in an addiction manner at all, but in a manner of I grew up with drinks, you have dinner, you pour yourself a glass of wine, you have a beer, you have a, you know, whatever. You grab a drink after work. And it was just so ingrained into my daily life. And I said, like, maybe it'll be a week, maybe a month, we'll see.

And I still feel that way. I have zero interest in going back to alcohol, but it was never this thing of like, I have to go cold turkey for the rest of my life whatsoever. Sure. So like a few weeks went by and I was like, wow, I feel really good. And then a few months went by. I was like, I remember we went on a trip to Italy and everyone was like, are you going to drink? Are you going to drink? Are you going to drink?

And I was like, maybe. I don't know. And I didn't. And then I came home. Italy's still amazing without drinking, by the way. Oh, my God. Amazing. Three times now.

And I will say, because this does not send from any. form of addiction, if someone orders a drink that looks really yummy, I'm like, oh, can I take a sip? And I try it. And that's all I want. Or specifically, it's every once in a while, if my husband has a draft IPA. That's what I like, I'm like, oh, let me just have a sip. And I have a sip. And I have a sip. And I'm like, oh, I just wanted to taste it. And that's all I want a drink. I allow myself. I'm allowed to do it. I haven't wanted one because life without them has felt so amazing. I love all this. This is so helpful because I think it's important for people to, and your authenticity and honesty about it is like.

Oh, thank you. I'm drawn in. So I'm knee-deep in marathon training right now, and here's the thing nobody wants to warn you about. It's not the running that gets you. It's the recovery. How your body bounces back between sessions is basically the whole game. So I've gotten really particular about what I actually put in my body, which is how I ended up paying attention to Momentus. Because here's a question I hadn't really asked myself before.

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Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Why would you say sober-ish? Because I've heard you talk about, because what I want to say is like there's so much, and I love the world of AA, it's saved my life. But AA doesn't necessarily work for everybody. I think there's some principles in it that could

work for everybody. But there's some components of it turning things over to God, this higher power. there's some elements that are tricky for some people. And for some, they're not addicts or alcoholics, so it isn't necessarily. But there's so much nuance. And in the public eye, like you and I with a podcast or a TV show, that experience of not drinking can be defined in a couple of different ways. And there's so much, like, nuance in that.

I feel like there's an element of like, you're not as sober as I am kind of thing. And of course, I'm so proud of the people that are clean, sober, doing what's best for them. I'm doing what's best for me. I haven't had a drink. I haven't put anything up my nose in five years. That's amazing.

I haven't had a drink in five years, which is incredible. However, in my sobriety, there's been some nuance with how I look at functional drinks. Right. Drinks that have maybe adaptogen mushrooms, T.AC or CBD products. There's just so much like, are you sober or you're not? I'm curious to- So I never call myself sober. I think the badge of sober is, in my eyes, something.

that people who struggle and navigate addiction and achieve is so profound and important. Yeah, you don't want to devalue or take away from it. Yeah. And I'm not. Again, I really, I tie more sober to like the navigating addiction, which I don't feel. So I never say I'm sober. I say I don't drink. Sure.

I love cannabis. We can get into that. Which I think is important that you talk about that because they think. Yeah, people have a lot of opinions. Of course. But I think, you know, in some of the recovery communities I'm a part of. of cannabis or THC, CBD can be viewed as a harm reduction tool. Right.

I've actually met some people in recovery that were opiate or heroin, cocaine, alcohol, and slowly shifting to a THC, then becoming fully sober. Right, allowed them to get there. Exactly. So I'm a big believer in the harm reduction of it all. I also think there's a place for mindful components. Like weed wasn't my problem. Right.

Anybody knows me, you know, coke and alcohol and Xanax. And I think it's where people like confuse things where when we say weed, and I will say a lot of this is actually rooted in racism. Like the thoughts around weed when you're comparing weed and alcohol in people's opinions, a lot of that is rooted in racism. But I think when you say, oh, like I enjoy cannabis or like, oh, you're high out of your mind on a couch eating bags of chips. Like that's not at all what's happening in my life at all.

And I also enjoy psilocybin mushrooms. And I have done a full dose experience where it was psilocybin mushrooms also. MDMA under like a sound bath guided journey. Sure. I've also microdosed. I've enjoyed chocolate mushrooms at a wedding. So that's why I really don't. Yeah,

I can't label myself over. You're sharing that experience and I appreciate it because I do think you should be proud of what you've accomplished and you're doing what's best for you. And as long as you're being honest, that's all I care about. The bottom line is that you do what's best for you. And people will always be like, well, you don't drink, but why are you okay with cannabis? I'm like, because if I enjoy a can, which is like my preferred method of enjoying cannabis, can cocktails, if I enjoy a can the next morning, I'm fine.

Totally. I am completely fine. Totally. I am not anxious. I am not depressed. I am not spiraling. I am not hating my life. That's why I stopped drinking.

So I'm totally okay. So would you say some of the TAC has allowed just for you, it's more of a health and wellness than anything? It quietes my brain in ways that I can't explain. Do I wish I didn't need a. little something to help quite my... Duh. I wish my brain was a certain way, and it's not, and that's the reality. You have children, you have a husband, you have a very successful podcast. Thank you. You have a lot going on. So for you, if that means reaching for a low-dose, very controlled THC or CBD products. We're talking to five milligrams. I feel like that's where

people lose the plot here. Versus a bottle of red wine. And for you with your family history and just some of the own personal feelings, you're like, I don't want that. I'd rather this. And it's healthier. What's wrong with that? It just quietes my brain. It allows. It allows me to concentrate in ways. Like it also, I will say, I think for a lot of ADHD people, THC can be such a helpful tool. And I'm also 90% of my work ideas come from those like three hours at night. Yeah.

I have endless videos or lists of things where I'm like, oh, thought of this. Thought of this. Does it unlock another part of your brain a little bit? Because my brain's finally quiet. Yeah. It shuts the fuck up of the ongoing list of 10,000 things I have to do. And there is nothing I love more quite honestly. I value my female friendships so deeply.

I talk about them all the time. There is nothing I love more than sitting on a couch. And giggling my ass off to the point of tears with my friends. Complete giggler. Shout out the page of him. Yes, I am. Like, I love it. I love that feeling.

And yeah, cannabis obviously, like, increases that a little bit. No, totally. And is there, like, boundaries that you have now in place that you didn't before? The only real thing I keep in mind is if I ever catch myself being like, I need this, then I don't allow myself. Do you find yourself ever being judgmental of other people at a social event when they are drinking? Listen, I know. I want to think that I'm not.

Summer House, I can't even do. You literally fathom how you do that. Early on, I was very judgmental because I'm like, I got it all figured out. My mom would tell you I'm very judgmental with her. And I appreciate the honesty. Maybe some other people in my life would say I'm a little judgmental. If I am judgmental, it comes from a place and it's only the people I really care about in my life. People who I'm not, I don't care what you're doing.

Yeah. It's because I feel like they could be better versions of themselves. Sure. Like, specifically with my mom, like, that's where that judgment came from. I would say, again, I'm not in my early 20s. So, like, I'm not with people often blacking out where, like, they're annoying as hell. Sure. But I get this question a lot, and I think that everyone I surround myself with, I love.

And when they're drinking, I still love them. Sure. Have you lost any friends because of your shift? I think if it were in my early 20s, I would have. Yeah. I think it happened in a phase where we were all a little older. Sure. A lot of my friends' relationships with alcohol has also kind of shifted.

I think a lot of us, honestly. Just with our age, it's like, I fucking feel like, oh my God. Hang it was, we're awful once I turned 30. Like our generation, I mean, I'm a millennial, but I think you're a millennial. So am I. Yeah. So we used to pregame the pregame, shower beer. Crazy.

Then you'd wake up and be at your desk, 637 and fucking ready to go. Yeah. And you do it all over again. So I don't think I've lost any relationships. I think it did clarify things around relationships of like, oh, maybe we were a little bit more party friends than just like, let's call and catch up and I love you, you know? Or people's reactions around it. I notice that the people who have a confusing relationship with alcohol have the strongest reaction to someone not drinking. 100%.

Because it's a mirror for them. Yep. And it's like, why aren't you drinking? Have a drink. Have a drink. What does it do to you that I'm not having drinks? And I used to have to be like, I don't care what you do. But I'm not drinking.

But I get it. They, they, they, they, well, it calls into something about themselves that they're uncomfortable with and you're showing that mirror like you said. So I think that was the most interesting thing to me. And it was all people that I would have guessed in my life. It was very clear who those people were going to be. But I also think everyone kind of got, I don't know. It's not something that's even brought up with my friends and family anymore.

What you just said, though, is so important just unpack for us. second is you told, yes, you're telling your social media following, which you built a really amazing following of a community of people that love and adore you. That's important to share that. But then in your close community of friends, it's really hard to not drink on an event like that unless you're telling people, unless you're opening up. And I get asked a lot, like, how do you do it? And I'm like, tell your best friends, tell the people that care about you. Allow them into the story and then they will protect and look out for you. So when people ask me how I don't drink on Summerhouse. Kyle Cook, Amanda, Paige, Sierra, they've all accommodated

and made me feel welcome and seen because I've been so open with them. Plus, some of them are like, once I told them I was not drinking or getting help, they were like, thank God Carl. Yeah. I do find you haven't experienced this, but one of the most annoying things as a female who doesn't drink is everyone assuming you're pregnant. It is so annoying. That has got to be fucking brutal. It is so annoying. Have you ever just lied and just like it's easier to say yes I'm pregnant than no but not to not like the other thing that pisses me off about this you have no idea what that woman is going through true she could have just miscarried and you're like oh you're not drinking kids you're pregnant no you fucking asshole like I was pregnant and I just miscarried and I'm really sad about it the amount of pushing and insinuating we put on women drives me insane around this topic and I just want to say to anyone listening like that question drives every female bonkers if they are choosing to come to cut out alcohol and I get that DM a lot where they're like, I really want to cut out alcohol, but I feel like I'm nervous to go to this wedding because everyone's going to assume I'm pregnant and we're not even trying and I don't want to deal with those questions.

I mean, I'm so glad you brought that up because it's something. Right, you would never experience. I don't think about it. I mean, the one thing, it's like, why aren't you drinking? I'll just look back in the eye go, I'm an alcoholic. And they're like, oh, I'm sorry. And I'm like, no, it's good. That's a good thing.

Yeah. But it makes some people uncomfortable. And even to your point, like, it's disgusting that people would look at a woman who's not drinking and just immediately take that there. I just say like it makes me really anxious and depressed and then they kind of are like, oh shit. Okay. And then they're like, bye.

Let's walk away. See ya. Well, you mentioned something which I think is really beautiful. I know we're getting closer to the end here, but you know, you're a mother, but your relationship with your mother and I have a dear close relationship with mine. And I've definitely inspired. And my mom still drinks, but she's actually on antidepressants now. Amazing.

She's been really doing pretty down well all things considered. But whenever she's around me, she really is helpful. and we bounced a lot of things back and forth. Can you talk to me about your relationship with your mom and just like... She's the best. Sounds like you've made a big impact on her. Yeah. She was obviously a huge impact on you.

Isn't there like that weird inflection point with your parent? Literally. It's so weird. She's the one raising you and then I'm the one like now. My mom is truly the fucking greatest. And for anyone who's listening who's a part of my community, they know my mom. She is. Shout out to your mom.

I've heard about her. She is a diva to no other degree. She sounds like a badass because she told you never. ever do cocaine because it's really good. It's so good. I love your mom, just for saying that. So our relationship, we've always been extremely close, but we're very similar. And so things that bother me most about myself are the things that bother me most about my mom and my dad.

And I can very clearly see when they are doing something, it makes me angrier and it triggers me because I know that's within me because I see myself also do it. So true. And the thing that was really frustrating me with her was something that I feel. like I had worked on so deeply that I was like, why won't you just work on this? And it took a very long time to get to this place where we are. But with her decision to go on medication and to cut back on drinking because of some health stuff going on, I don't care what got her there, she is the best version of herself. And it has been the greatest gift to our relationship. Not that

we weren't ever close, we've always been close. But we are so exceptionally close now. And I want to spend as much time with her as she always wants to spend with me. And so, So I think it's just been such a great gift. It's also, I know you mentioned you want to have kids, like watching your parents as grandparents does something to your brain that's really hard to explain. Part of me is like, where the fuck was this when I was a kid? Like my dad was, it's like my kids are obsessed with my dad. Like there's no word.

There's nothing like having the grandparents that are involved and helpful. My parents and my in-laws are so involved. It's huge. Huge part of our village, huge reason why I'm able to do everything I do. but it's so funny to watch them like go about things in a different way than you were raised sure sure yeah you're seeing it like at a different layer my son like I my dad like snapped once and my older son was like what just happened and I was like oh that's dad that's dad's that's that's that's that's my dad that's not pocket I mean it makes me want to have kids so bad because I have you know

I have a niece who looks kind of like us you know she's my brother's daughter and certain elements I do notice as my mom being a grandparent to her yeah I'm like just funny seeing her Raise a girl because, you know, she raised two boys. That's how my parents didn't raise any boys. I'm one of three girls. And I have two boys and I also have a nephew. Unreal. It is.

How are you navigating social settings with alcohol now as a parent where you're not drinking? Is that hard? Like, just with kids. Like, maybe your kids are with you and you're at maybe a party and there's alcohol. No, I don't even think. I literally don't even think about it. Well, especially my kids are there. I don't think about it.

Like, I have some friends, like, we'll be out on like a Wednesday night having dinner. And the thought will be like, should we go grab another one and I'll see the woman in front of mine, who's a mom. And you can just see in her head, she's like, I'm getting home to go to my kids. Right. She's doing them. Oh, well, that. So she knows she's done and she's going home.

Completely. I feel like everything in my life, I honestly feel more around work than I feel around social settings, now goes through a funnel of is this worth not being with my kids for. Sure. So it has completely tightened the scope of my work of what I will say yes to. especially like the social side of work. It's pretty non-existent. My social life though, again, like I really value my female friendships. I am a mom who preaches that like you need to fill your cup. I am not falling into the like martyrdom of motherhood where like that is the

only thing I do. I am a human outside of being a mom and I deeply prioritize that. I prioritize my hobbies. I prioritize my friendships, my relationship with my husband, my job, all so that I also and the best mom that they can have. Well, you need your own things and your own passions and hobbies and your outlets. I was going to ask, like, I've thought of this while we were talking, just like, you grew up in an environment where there was a lot of drinking. Yeah. Now your kids are growing up in an environment where there's not a lot.

A lot of times I feel like as kids, like our environment informs either go one way or the other way. And like for me, when I grew up in a house full of alcohol and watching my brother use, I try to go the other way, but it still was like hard for me to, it was always there. So for you, like, are you going to try and sit your kids down at some point? talk to them? People ask me this a lot and I really have not gotten that far with how I plan on or they'll have a weird relationship with alcohol because you don't. We say there's still alcohol in our house and like friends are over, their drinks, people,

whatever. So they are exposed to some of that. And at the beach, you know, yes. So they know to never grab any drink because also if I consume THC, obviously like, so they know they're never allowed to grab a drink and drink it. They have to ask, is this an adult drink or a kid drink? because spin drift looks very similar to can. So they know that there's something different.

Sure. But they've definitely never asked, well, what's in this adult drink? It's the same way they coffee. Yeah. Like they have to ask whether they can drink my coffee. I brought up that. Or if I could, that's kind of how I approach it. And like when kids will say, people will be like, oh, well, for instance, cursing.

I curse a lot. And I curse in front of my children. And people were like, well, what are you going to do? I'm like, well, I'm allowed to drive. They're not allowed to drive. I say they're mommy words. You can use them in this house. They do not get set outside of this house.

And same thing I'll say with, you know, if the conversation with cannabis comes up. Like I think that it's not my rule and you live under my household and you have to follow it. It's the reality that I'm an adult and you're a kid. I like that. Yeah, but we'll get there. They're so young.

I'm like trying not to think that. Whenever I have children, I'm going to be hitting you back up. He's easier to give me some kids. I'll give you my phone number. I got one last question for you. Yeah. What is giving you more life?

I knew it was coming. Right now. And I'm like, okay. Well, I'm making life. So does that count? Yes, he does. I'm literally making life. I saw the baby yesterday and a scan.

Well, thank you, Cam for coming in. Thank you. It's been amazing to talk to you. I appreciate you. And yeah, keep doing everything you're doing. Keep sharing. Good luck with the pregnancy. Thanks.

If you ever want to come back again and drink some N.A. drinks, we got you covered because this place is perfect for pregnant women. I know. We actually have a group of pregnant moms and new moms that come in on Fridays. So fun. They bring their strollers. We have. great non-alc and coffee and other alternatives.

And it's unsanctioned. They just do it on their own. And a couple of weeks ago, I had a dad come in with a stroller. And he's like, I'm the president of the Brooklyn Dad Stroller Club. Wait, we're trying to get him on my podcast. Okay. I forget his name off top of my head, but he came in. It was Joe, yes.

We just followed him. And I'm like, come in here. So please come back again and see us. I would love to. Or host something with the moms. But yeah, it's been awesome to talk to you. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much.

Likewise. Yeah. Well, thank you guys for listening. Check us out again here on More Life. here in Greenpoint Brooklyn at Softbar. More Life is produced by Annie Siegel and executive produced by Adam Reynolds of Denham Pictures.

This episode was directed by Annie Siegel, edited by Mikey Ortiz, and recorded at SoftBarr Studios in Brooklyn, New York. More Life is a production of Sony music entertainment. From Sony, our executive producers are Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay. Original music by Function Adams.

Sound mixing by Ian Sorrentino. Set designed by Michael Ignacio. publicity by Caitlin Healy. Additional support from Abby Sharp. And a special thanks to Alison Shano and Joanna Orland. New episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer.

That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family. to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.