More Life with Carl Radke - Remi Bader on TikTok Stardom, Body Image, & Mental Health in the Spotlight

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Creator, founder, and size-inclusivity and mental health advocate Remi Bader joins Carl in the More Life studio. She opens up about landing in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, getting let go from her first jobs at Bravo and Tidal, how her TikTok blew up overnight, and her honest, ongoing journey with binge eating, recovery, and weight loss surgery. Remi and Carl get real about navigating mental health in public, handling the internet's opinions, dating, and why the right people in your corner change everything. Remi has recommended a couple resources if you are looking for more information on any of the topics covered in this episode: https://jedfoundation.org/helplines-for-specific-identities/ https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Brain-over-Binge-Conventional-Recovered/dp/0984481702 Sponsors: Pura: Explore the Scents of Calm Collection at pura.com/calm. Use code RADKE for 15% off your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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She's a creator, she's a founder, and she's a size inclusivity and mental health advocate. She's also a sports illustrated swimsuit model. Excited to dive into this chat. We're coming live today from Soft Bar here in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Remy Bader, welcome to More Life. Thanks. Good to see you here in Brooklyn. I know.

How was your commute this morning? The flight didn't take too long. I'm kidding. I love the running joke. Because I don't hate Brooklyn. It's just like more all of my college friends moved here. Like a lot of people have moved here. And then I'm like, yeah, you come see me. And they're like, Bremi, just come here.

So it just like became a joke that whenever I go to Brooklyn, like something happens. So like let's not let that happen today. No, something good is going to happen today. Yes, love that. I'm excited to you here. Really appreciate you being here. I have a saying, more life, which is kind of a mantra that I go by. So I ask all my guests that come on.

Do you have a saying that you live by? I was trying to think about that. And this is like very, not cheesy, but it is what I think in my head. In my head, I'm like, trust the timing of your life because I do feel when things don't go my way or the way that I expected it to go, which is literally always it's never going to go according to plan or most of the time. Sure. I have to tell myself that it's just not the time right now, but that it will be the time eventually and that it's like happening the way it should. So especially in this industry and just with like always wanting to do more and do exciting things. I'm just like I try and tell myself that.

Trust the timing has your back, I guess. But I'm a big believer in timing. But speaking of timing, holy cow, I open up Sports Illustrated swimsuit. One of my favorite publications of all time, just being honest. Congrats. Thank you. How does it feel? Feels surreal.

Emmy is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model. Not cover. Well, you're the... I'll explain. No, because like, even my friends are very confused by it. Like, there's like... As far as I know, you look like you're in the cover to me. Well, I'm not.

But thank you. But there's like four covers. Got it. Four different covers. And then, like, if you make it into the issue, like, you have a certain amount of pages and, like, you're inside. So I think there's like 30, 35 people maybe. Wow.

This, in this issue. But then there's four different covers, which does make it confusing. But those covers are Alex Earle, Tiffany Haddish, Hillary Duff. and Nicole English. So, like, I would say that, like, they usually do, like, two people that kind of have nothing to do with it that are, like, celebrities. Sure. And then maybe two people that have, like, been in Sports Illustrated for a few years.

And then, like, they, like, kind of earn being in the longer. And they, like, graduate to the next level. So how does it feel? It feels great. I mean, you looked amazing. Thank you. The actual shoot itself was amazing. Like, I was, like, obviously was so nervous going into it.

But, like, everyone is making you feel good. And that it's, like, about you. And, like, I was doing poses and things. I never thought I could do. And like, it really was great. And even when they were like, do you like, do you like, do you like, do you like, how could you not? Like they make it so.

You look incredible. Were you nervous about going into that or? Yes. I'm nervous about everything. Sure. Going into anything that I've never done before, I'm constantly bugging out about. But then once I do it once, I'm like, I can do this. You got this.

But you've earned your way. You kind of worked. You built up to it. So what's next for Sports Illustrated? Would you be on a cover maybe next year? I think it takes a few years. I think it like... We manifest here a lot on their life.

Last year I walked in their runway show in Miami, and this year they are doing that again next week. Would you say walking a runway for Sports Illustrated swimsuit is harder than the photo shoot? I would think so because you're in front of all those people. Yes. And people, and you know how the internet is. People have so much to say, like of how they're walking. I'm like, wait, none of us are runway models.

That's the whole point that they tell you to have fun and like... You're supposed to walk like kind of however you walk. They literally tell you to do what you want. like people have so much to say about it. You kind of like black out and don't even know what's going on when you're walking. Like I was like, did I do well? What was going on? But it's like fun. It's like the excitement of it. Like it's just such a good feeling. Like everyone gets off and is like, except I was dripping sweat because it's, it's in Miami. It's like 110 degrees. No, I feel like the Sports Illustrated swimsuit. I mean, shout out to the Victoria's

secret part of the thing. But I always felt like the Sports Illustrated was like that was the thing. Growing up, I could not wait to get my Sports Illustrated. So seriously, that's incredible. We've got to get you an issue in your hand if you don't have one. I might need you to sign my issue. Yeah. I want to get one. Okay. Okay.

Deal. I want to get back into like some of our audience who doesn't know who you are. Yes. I know you well. Got him to know you just through the world of like some reality TV friends, our influencer friends. We go to the same spots a lot, specifically surf lodge, which I had a good time last summer. Talk to me about just like pre-Tik-Tac Remy. This definitely was not a planned route for me that I thought I would take.

So you went to, we talked about a university a little bit. Shout out to Delaware. The Blue Hens. The best school. I loved it. But you tried to go somewhere. I tried. I went to Indiana University in Bloomington. Was not my vibe was not for me. And I was like so embarrassed. I was like, I can't be someone that's transferring. Like that's just like so not cool. And I was

like, nothing, like it was the best thing I did. What year did you transfer? I was there first semester, started second semester, rushed like 21 sororities, got zero bid of 21 sororities because it's like intense rush. Like didn't get anything. Was like, dad, I'm leaving tomorrow. Get me the hell out because I already didn't like it. Sure. And then I was like, okay, well, maybe this. will like be it. But again, that's one of those things. Like, thank God that happened. Because, like, then I just ended up more where I think I was meant to be. And I'm still best friends with all my college friends today. And it's just a little more down to earth for me. What did you really want to do? I got my job later because I was not settling. I'm like, I want the best job. Like,

I interned my whole life, like, middle school on every winter, summer. Like, I just was, like, obsessed with interning and building my resume. And then I got a job at Bravo. What's that? Like, so crazy. What shows were you into at that point? I remember like during, I started watching a little bit of Summer House when I was there, but I didn't watch it before. Do you remember what season you got hired at Bravo? So it was 2017, 2018. Yeah. You have no idea what season that was. 2017 was when our first season came out, like January 2017. So if you started like later that year, we might have already started filming season two by then. Okay. I worked for Jen Geyser. Shout out to you. Shout to Jen. Was my boss. And we joker.

about it all the time because like I remember when I started that job my mom said like are you sure you want to be an assistant like I don't know if that's like your thing and I'm like I'm going to prove you wrong like no I am not meant to be an assistant like I need an assistant I'm like a little bit of a mess Carl's a mess if I must say I got let go from that job so wait but bravo was your first job out of college first job out of college and I worked on the PR team but also for Jen and this other guy that was a VP under her so I kind of assisted them but also worked on the PR team. So anyone that like took you guys around to different press and to do interviews and all that except I was like the young newbie. So like I was chained to my desk. Like I didn't go do that stuff.

Yeah. But I watched it all happening and like, you know, like I would meet people and I like thought it was really cool while I was there. But it was just like I knew like I was not doing well at the job. And I was just like I cannot seem to figure this out. And I was so frustrated with myself because I always was the one that everyone came to for like advice and job things. Like I was the one who had all the internships and everyone came to me and I would networked with people so I connected friends and I was like now how am I ever going to tell people that like this is not working out so long had you been at Bravo a year in a few months did you leave or get let go I got let go I appreciate the honesty I think it's important to tell people that now because I remember I even didn't tell my sister for like a year I was so embarrassed like I was like it was a mutual thing I've met people that even telling their partner boyfriend girlfriend spouse right their job firing whatever some people don't it's really like in a embarrassing feeling in the moment. Yeah, that's shame. But again, another thing that, like, so grateful it happened. And it's even funny, like, it isn't normal that usually you would get, like, let go from your boss and then end up being friends a few years later, but it did all come

full circle for me. But I think that speaks to maybe who you are. I mean, if you can still maintain some friendship or some. Oh, my dad always said, like, don't burn a bridge, keep in touch. And, like, I'm like, she definitely, she's had probably a million assistance, but I would always email her happy birthday. I would always, like, keep in touch. That's really good advice from your dad. We might need to have him come on the pod. Yeah. Because I like this. And he was the one who made me, like, he's very old school because he's worked at the same

place for a million years. So he was just like the one that was like, make it a year. Like you have to. Where I feel like today, people are like, if they're not happy, they're going to leave. Yeah, they're gone for two weeks. I was like, really becoming just like, I got to get out of here. And then that decision was kind of made for me. But when I left, I was like, the world is over.

Like, I literally, like, this is so embarrassing. That's your first job. I mean, like, that's, I think pretty normal. And I'm like, I left and I was like, what now? I say firing or let go? Let go. Like, I didn't do something bad. Fair enough.

And it was a mutual thing where it's like, I got to say bye to people. Like, it wasn't like, get out of the office. So that would be a little bit different. So that first couple days after you're let go and you're kind of figuring out. Thinking back to that, I remember that was the worst anxiety of my life. Like, scary. Like, couldn't leave the apartment. Like, everything.

That was when I actually was like I need to. I think it was just the shift and the change of what I thought things were going to be. And that's when I kind of was like, oh, I like need to. to... Did you have an identity attached, or your identity was kind of built on working at Bravo at that moment, right? Yeah. So you almost had to restart.

I posted about it every day. Like, I posted the talent that would come in. Like, I was like very... Everyone worked at Bravo. So it was like, now what do I do? And how do I like try and lie about this when I never, I don't know how to lie? So what did you do? I got lucky or not lucky.

Since I wasn't happy, I was looking at other jobs while I was there. Sure. And I did already have like an interview at Title, which was Jay-Z's company. Title, like the wave, yes. Yes. My dad is a title, was a title subscriber? No way.

Because the audio quality was higher. Yeah, the best, but I got that job. Thank God. Because it was like, how do I interview? And now it be like, which is more common, I think, today where people leave jobs, don't have another. And because they're not happy or whatever the reason is. And then they interview and get a different job.

Like, I was like, how do I interview? And say, I'm not working. So I started working a title. It was a different experience, but I liked that job better. I realized I liked working more with music. And they would have people like rap for us in the office every day. And you would like just leave your meetings to go watch singers.

Like it was so cool. But it was like just very interesting. It's probably like a true startup. Yeah. And then COVID started. Okay. Which I want to get into this part because I obviously have followed you in senior journey. And I thought like oh again because of COVID.

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Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm curious, like, if we can talk a little bit about some of, like, which is your influencing story when you got started. Yeah. When did you start kind of maybe opening up about some of your body and food and some of that part of your story? It's very related to my parents. They know this.

I've talked about this. But like my parents are great and I had a great upbringing. But like my parents are a little older and the very diet mentality need to be skinny type of thing. And that was really pushed on me my whole life to wear. I definitely think that caused a lot of, like, issues in terms of my eating disorder and things like that with the binge eating. So, yeah, like, my dad did a lot of the, like, I'll give you $1,000 if you lose 20 pounds

and, like, things like that that, like, built up or, like, if you eat this wangy and this weight, you're never going to find a boyfriend, like, things that, like, believe me, we've gone through therapy and all of the things and still are. Sure. You know, I asked if I could be open about that because I think it can help other people that have been through similar things and like times have changed and like you can you don't need to be a size zero and you can talk openly about your mental health and eating disorders and all these things so when I started doing that which came pretty naturally once I started on TikTok I don't

think they my mom more understood but I don't think my dad understood like why are you talking about negative things and struggling when you could like now use this platform to like make people that of nothing going on happy and like talk about your success. And I'm like, no. Not the dark, scary stuff. Yeah. I mean, what did food look like in your house growing up? Like, I just was on every diet in the book from 10 years old on with my mom. Like she was like, let's try Weight Watchers today. Shout out to Weight Watchers for just a second. My mom worked at Weight Watchers for like 15 years. Really? They've changed as time has gone on. Like it's not super restrictive, I can say. Believe me, I know about every died in the book.

I felt like Weight Watchers, because I grew up in a household where, like, no chicken or portions bigger than your palm or fist. Oh, really? So I'd do that. My mom had a little scale on the table. And I've also developed. Oh, that's crazy that she worked at Weight Watchers. She did. And I did on a previous guest. I did open up. I had some bulimia in college. I would drink tons of alcohol, go out, come home at two in the morning, eat a large domino's pizza. Yeah. And then purge. Yeah. I did this a fair amount, probably my junior and senior year of college. And I haven't really talked about it openly. But reminding what you just said about your parents in that environment growing up. I mean, it does affect.

things. But I didn't put those two together until right now. Yeah. Literally right now. And I have this conversation with my parents all the time because like if I like snap sometimes with food and I'm home and I'm like whatever and like, you know, my mom's like, well, you can't blame us. Like it's like it's been a back and forth because it's like, I don't blame them. Yeah, there's two things can be true. Like they're great people. I talk about how I love my parents all the time. I just think that it unfortunately did affect me in a way that I thought about food and things so differently growing up where I do think it went in. into, I think it was like this F-factor diet where I was literally eating like, this was when I

was at Bravo. Everyone at the time, I feel like was like we were all like on diets. It was like, I just remember that time there. And I was on this thing called F-factor. We were eating over 100 grams of like fiber a day and then 800 calories. And I was on that for like a year. The second I saw carb again, because I was so like anti-carb, like they were like, don't eat a banana.

And that's when my binging started. When I got to title, I was stressed from work and whatever, I would get. get excited to leave work, purposely not eat during the day, spent all my monies on, to zero dollars on food in Uber's until I was let go and then had zero dollars in my bank account. And I would Uber home, order the same thing every day, which was Tortilini Alfredo and mozzarella sticks from this place called Lena, shout out Linas, it's really great. And I would sit on my floor. I always had like random roommates because I was never on the timeline of my friends and

I would just like close the door, sit on my floor, eat, and then be like, turn off my phone, be so happy, enjoyed, and then after just like cry, cry, cry. And I did that every day until I just kept gaining and gaining and gaining more weight. And I appreciate your honesty in that. And some of this, I think, is we talk about addiction here. We talk about mental illness, substance abuse, alcohol, cocaine. Food is something I've had guests, not necessarily avoid. It's a topic that is needed to talk about, but it's hard to talk about. But I have been told by many therapists that I've gone to a lot of different therapists that also do, like, addiction. And you're on role. And like, they say it is a very, I went to,

over-eaters anonymous for a while. And they say there's like a lot of crossover in a way, but that the hard part is that, not that one is harder than the, but like the hard part is you need food in your life every day. Yeah, I just, that just fucked me up. Sorry. No, in like an important way. I mean, we've had people also that listen to more life and watch more life who've asked for these kinds of conversations, food or bulimia or body image, self-worth. It's all kind of connected. I am one of Motenui on July 10th. Maui, you will board my boat and restore the heart of Tafiti. And here we go.

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Subscribers to the Binge can listen to all episodes, all at once, add free. I mean, I'm curious, like, I love hearing you talk about your parents, because, like, you can build resentment over your parents. You can hate them. And I know you have a really healthy relationship, it sounds like. I would say it's still that healing process with my dad. Me and my mom are a lot closer now. Me and my dad are like still in therapy over this and have on and off talked and not talk through the past years, which my follower is caught on to, which is really interesting. Like, where's your dad? Where's your dad? Like people are freaking nosy. But he let me last year, he went to this place called OnSight, which is kind of like a therapy away kind of place.

and he was told, like, you need to understand that these things affected her and why she has so much, like, anger and resentment. And we started talking about him, like, is it crazy? Would you ever let me, like, film this? I don't remember what the moment was. And it's, like, to this day, that's one of my favorite videos I posted because the messages I got, like, I wish I was able to have this conversation with my dad or mom before they passed away.

Like, this was so healing for me, like, all these things. Because I was saying it how it was. And, like, he was understanding in that moment. but I still think as time goes by, like I think we don't have an amazing relationship, but it's getting better because of that. And I think it's beautiful that you're still actively talking about that publicly because I think everybody thinks, oh, like, it just was fine.

Like I got the help you needed, but like siblings or parents with addiction, food, all this stuff. Like it impacts other people too besides you. And also your dad had a big component of that. And I think it's important for people to see that. And I'm curious, like, do you wish your parents would have done something differently growing up? Of course. So I just think that like it wasn't possible because that's what they knew.

Yeah. And like I think that's what their parents were like to them. It's interesting because my mom, she always did the diets and, but like my dad is a bigger guy. So it's interesting that like a lot of the things that he would say to me, I think that's where there was like anger there too. I'm like, well, you're saying this to me, but like you're not doing those things. Sure. Was this happening at all in like high school or in college tiny bit?

I feel like no, but I don't remember and I didn't know. Like it just didn't catch up to me weight. Why is at the time I was always bigger. Like I always weighed more and was always bigger and my parents very much let me know that. Were you bullied growing up at all? It wasn't bullied, but it was always your fat. Like that was my normal. Like if there was something going on with someone, that was their ultimate thing for me.

And I definitely grew up in a town. I grew in New York City and that we moved out to the Hamptons after 9-11. A lot of families did that. We were just going to stay there for a year and I ended up going to middle school and high school out there. Very sports town. And everyone was athletic. And honestly, like, there wasn't a lot of bigger people. So I always was, like, a little bit curvy or a little bit bigger.

And, like, if there was any sort of insult for me, it was your fat. So I've heard that my whole life. And it just makes me sad. But then it, like, that is what for the people that don't know me, what made the whole platform happen. Because then when I was binging at the time and started gaining more and more weight, that was my issue. I couldn't shop.

Like, I was like, oh, wow. Like, COVID's coming. It wasn't coming to an end, but it was towards the end. and people were starting to leave more. I was like, I need clothes. And I realized how much weight I gained? And I was like, how can I go in these stores? And I was always like a 12.

And I was always like a little curvier and it was harder to shop at that size. But once I was a 14, 16, it was like near too impossible. And that's what no one talked about online that I started talking about it, but made them like, I would try on the clothes, kind of make fun of myself. But in a not mean way, be like, do better. And it turned into making something that was frustrating funny. and it blew up overnight. And that's kind of what happened.

And then I would say it wasn't even until my fifth video that just naturally I started talking about my anxiety, OCD, I grew up with a nervous tick disorder. And then the binge eating came later when I started realizing what that was. But a lot of it is intertwined. A lot of people that have some of these issues end up being binge eaters and have eating disorders.

Yeah, I mean, it's just so interesting. I feel like this is such a needed conversation. So I just really am so appreciative of you opening up about it because do you still have shame at all? around some of this past? Yeah, because it's still present for me. Yeah. Like, and that is what actually a current thing that has been frustrating for me

because this is skipping a little ahead of a head, but I got a weight loss surgery. I ended up binging my way to 300 pounds. Had a lot of health issues, which I openly talked about. And that pissed a lot of people off once I opened up about that. Can we talk a little bit about something? I know we, you and I've talked a little bit about prior to this. I mean, I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.

Like, you are really struggling. You're gaining tons of weight because you're eating so. much. And like, you're looking for any kind of solution, I would imagine. Prior to that solution, did you explore, I mean, you said you read Overeaters Anonymous. Everything. I explored everything, every type of therapy, everything in the book until it went to, even during COVID before, OZempic and those things were a thing. When they just came out, no one knew about them yet. That was what my doctor gave me. And I tried that during COVID for the binge eating, but it made me so sick. And then I went to an eating disorder center.

Basically, as I started blowing up and things were getting great career-wise, I was like deteriorating in terms of my mental health. And then it was like a year and a half into all of it. And I was like, I need to get help because I wasn't happy. And I went to a needing disorder center in the city where I would go three times a week where I didn't need to go to resident like a way. I'd go three times a week. We'd get rid of our phones.

And it was three hours a night. You would eat dinner together. And this was people, which this I didn't love. I feel like was a little difficult. But everyone had different kinds of eating disorders. So you'd be like eating different portions based on what everyone had in front of you, which was a little difficult. If you don't mind me asking, what are some variations of the eating disorder? Someone that won't eat versus someone that's overeating.

Got it. Someone that will not eat and doesn't want to touch food. So they have a very different meal plan than the place gave me. Got it, got it. And that was a little bit I didn't love about that. When I hear overeater, there's also under-eaters. Yes. And like, I thought it was interesting.

We were together. At the time, it was good for me. but I think that when I got out of that, I went right back into what this world is very quickly, didn't have the right support set up for me. And I, it would be the ultimate no to ever go and be like, I'm going to lose weight now or I'm going to go on a shot or do anything. But like from being in a treatment center like that,

I gained more and more weight because the whole thing is like, you need to eat, you need to eat. And I gained more and more weight and then I went on the shots and started that weight loss journey kind of. secretly, like to myself. But I think it's important what you're talking about is like this journey that you're on because I think as soon as you knew you had to address this, it wasn't overnight that it got solved.

You're still actively. Yes. And that is where I'm at now where like I recently started opening. I got a lot of, you know, negativity in terms of talking about the surgery, which I needed for my mental health to pause and not talk about that. I knew I always would, but I needed time. And once I did talk about that, it took me a long time until now to start talking about binge eating again. So your body changes when you get a surgery like that, but your mind is exactly

the same. And a lot of people don't realize that. So now that it's two years later and I'm able to eat a little bit more, I still can't eat the same as anyone else. But I have those binge eating tendencies again. And I started talking about it recently. And then it's like the second I do, I'm seeing more and more of people putting me side to side, oh, she's gaining weight again. She's going to gain her way back to what she used to. And like, that then makes me want to come back to myself again and not share anything. Because it's like, I am an overshare. I want to share these parts of my life to help other people to or to even just go through this journey with me or people message me and say, I can't afford therapy. So like, thank you for making these videos

of what you're learning in therapy. And then it's like, oh, now she's binging her way. It's like, I don't know right now what I want to share and what I don't. I don't know. I'm understanding of that people see it as that because I kept it to myself for like a year that I was like hiding something. Got it. But for me, I actually made a video that always I stuck by that I think not everyone sees all my videos, but it went pretty viral at the time where when I was at 300 pounds and just couldn't do anymore and every message was like, you're obese, you're going to die like every day.

I was like, I am no longer sharing my health journey with you guys. I've been so open about the medications. I take my binge eating, all these things. And all I'm getting is hate at this point. I am no longer sharing my health journey with you until I'm ready. And I made that very clear. And it was probably four days later that I was like, fuck ever when I'm getting a surgery type of mindset, because I tried everything and I was desperate.

And it was pretty quick that I made that decision. But after the surgery, I opened up that I got very sick from it. I had like a kind of abnormal side effects from it. And I was throwing up for six weeks straight and couldn't eat and gotten like a really deep depression. And I thought I made a huge mistake. So why would that be the time I could share something? I didn't think until I was like ready at all that it should be something I should share. And I also never want to push it on anyone.

People come up to me and say, thank you. I got the surgery. And I'm just like, oh, like I never wanted it to be something you should do. This was what I needed to do for me. And I will always stay true to that. Yeah. Do you think over time that that noise will maybe subside? I think of anything in this world.

Like think about something, I don't know, you did years ago. Are people still talking about that today? Maybe, who knows? But like, I'm saying, like, yes, there are those people that are obsessive about these things. There are people that no matter what will never like me again because I, you know, and I'm not going to get that follower back. So like in a perfect world, what would be the route to taking better care of your health? And I'm a big proponent of like doing what works best for you. Also, what you're saying also kind of rings true in the world I live in with sobriety and addiction with alcohol and cocaine is like I just share what works best for me.

Right. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. Of course, like I think AA can help. get people sober, but there's lots of people that don't get sober through AI. There's a lot of nuance. And that's what's like for people like yourself who are in the public eye, you're easy to point at, but you're just trying to do what's best for you. Right.

Take better care of your health. Be open about it because you want to help people, which I can totally understand. And I definitely have boundaries now that I'll set. Like, I don't need to share that enough to check myself. So like, I love to be able to connect with people. Like that is my favorite thing. Well, it probably fuels your own self of what you're doing for yourself. or you're like, okay, I'm taking better care of myself. I'm sharing that out loud. So I don't want to stop doing that. I think I just need to think of a way to do it

where I'm also still protecting myself and I'm still figuring that out. Yeah, and as someone who opens up very loudly about sobriety and mental health, I too also get comments about certain things and having a big fight on Summerhouse, people are like, well, you're not working a program. You shouldn't have flipped out like that or whatever it is.

And I'm human. People like to use the things that you share. Sometimes that'll be used against you. And I guess that is the negative part of choosing to be open. I'm curious, like for anybody who's listening or watching who doesn't know where to start, they maybe overeats or they have a struggle, what would you say to them is what maybe like a first step that might be helpful that you took, that might be worth sharing.

I'm trying to think because I know a lot of what changed for me also as I had $0 in my bank account and couldn't like actually get the help. Like I was looking for free options in that way, Overeaters Anonymous, that was free. And I think a lot of people don't know that exists. I had no idea that exists. Again, these are just like maybe things, but I followed a lot of these like food people and food actual therapists online. And that's how I found out about overeaters anonymous.

I remember this email I wrote one woman that I did this course with that like I don't even know at the time. And I literally was like desperate one night and was like I can't do this anymore. And she's the one who kind of like I want to help you and gave me some ideas of things to do. But I think over time like I found I'm still trying to find the right food therapist. Actually I get a lot of messages. What do you mean food therapy? I didn't know that was a thing. It's like I don't even know how to answer the question because it's so hard.

Like I went to a needing disorder treatment center and spent so much money. And do I think that helped me the most out of anything? No. Like I think it's just a journey. Like I still think it's all of those pieces and things I've learned have helped me now. But I don't know which one it was. It's like you just need to find something that feels good to you. Would you say to people like that are really down and out and thinking that there's no hope?

You're a great example of where that can lead itself? I think that they're always, there's always. always a way and you need to find. I know this sounds so silly, but like even the fact of like people that like are going through it. Like that is why the parts of social media I do love because I think like my favorite is being able to like connect with people that are going through the same things. And they're like, oh, like now I'm either going to seek out therapy or now I can, I just

learned something from you. Even though I'm not a therapist. But like you will get out of it. The way I am now compared to sitting on my floor binge eating and turning off my phone and crying like I have gotten out of that. Honestly, you're making me think more in it. Like, I feel like I've actually been talking to different eating disorder, like, centers in places that I've talked to for years. It's like there are a lot of people look into them free sessions and virtual things they do.

But I definitely want to do more with them because I feel like to get that out there more is like so important when people are like, how do I get the help for something that feels like such a niche problem when it's not. It's a huge problem that I'm as we're talking right now, I'm realizing like, holy cow. And there's so many connective tissue to the AA community, the Al-Anon community. And they're all very related. Just mind-bulging. I'm curious, like, you start opening up on TikTok. The first video you did, when was that? Do you remember that?

It was like 2020? Yeah, it was October 2020. And I think I was like, well, there's no jobs right now. I was applying for jobs. Nothing was happening. And I was just like, if someone sees this creep, I don't even like know my mindset in the moment because I was just like, I never thought it's going to turn into anything.

Sure. And that first video, did that actually go viral? Yes. I remember specifically in January of 2021. when like someone wrote like press on it, there was like a free people one where I was like doing exactly what the models were doing that were so weird.

That's my favorite stuff you do. Thank you. You'll do like a screenshot of the website and how it's styled on the model. Yeah. And like it just looks insane. But it's human and authentic and kind of vulnerable too. And I've come back to that more recently

when I've, it's only been a few months since the surgery where again I just started like finding what is making me happy again and like putting out online what I feel like used to make me happy without letting like everyone's opinion about me take over my brain. I'm not saying that's gone, but it's getting better. And I'm like, wow, I'm making some of those old videos again. And that's when I feel the most like this is what I'm supposed to be doing type of thing. When it's those

videos and when it's like venting videos about something I'm going through. Like those are both the things that like I'm like, this is why I'm online, not the other stuff. Yeah. I mean, but you're you kind of went through a pretty insane time and TikTok era. I mean, 2020 like a lot of people blew up. Some people had businesses that, thrive, all of the things. I love this TikTok journey of yours because I've seen it grow and I've seen it build and then now we're talking about Sports Illustrated. We get into this sometimes on my interviews, a rock bottom. I know you talked about you're on your floor, crying, turning up your phone. Was there a specific moment would you categorize as your rock bottom or you never really

I've had multiple bottoms for sure. I remember the exact like right away you just said that and it did bring me back to one moment, which was when I was working at title. I remember being in my room on the phone with my dad. Like, he said that I was making up that I had an eating disorder and lying about it and that there's no such thing as binge eating. And I would just remember screaming, screaming, screaming on the phone. Like, we were just back and forth. Like, that was when I was just like, he's never going to understand.

And we were screaming at each other. And I was like, you don't get it. And once he said I was lying, I just remember I felt like no one was understanding what I was going through and that was pre-talking about it or even having a platform. So I felt like I couldn't even talk to friends about it. And I remember crashing and breaking my phone and, like, random, like, shock. glasses and things in my room. I don't break things. I'm like, my phone is everything. But right before that text, I sent like a kind of scary text to friends, like saying that no one's here for me and

I need someone or something bad's going to happen. That was the only the one time in my life, which I think I talked about once where like I called a suicide hotline and I was like, which I'm sorry, it's not funny, but they didn't pick up. Like they didn't pick up the phone. It's like almost like, okay, that would happen to me. But like I, that's the only time something like that happened. And then one by one, like six people showed up to my apartment, like my sister, because I wasn't answering the phone. Yeah. And I felt like that was my rock bottom pre all of this happening in a positive way where I truly believe that like you hit rock bottom and like things will always work out. Yep.

I feel like since being in this industry, I have had a few rock bottoms where I'm like, this is not going to get better. But I do have that experience of knowing that like it always will. Like it always like, I mean, I do get a lot of people that message me that they don't want to live anymore. And that's something of why I work with the Jed Foundation of like, how do you deal with that as if you're getting that? But I have so many people that have said to me and I give them resources to Jed Foundation and stuff. I'm not, you know, someone I could sit and talk to, but I always put a little personal something on it. And I'm like, this one girl recently said like, you saved my life. So I think that just again, even though even recently I've not been in a great mental space.

I know I saw that the other day when I said that. And I'm really trying to navigate that, but not like that rock bottom then where I'm like, I know that it will work out. So for anyone that feels like it won't, the amount of things that have gone freaking wrong for me. And I think it's the end of the world. Like it always will like work itself out. I do believe that. I love you to the next thing.

And I appreciate you opening up up the rock bottom and having people show up for you. And I had a rock bottom like that. I called and told people I was going to kill myself. Yeah. And I'm not making light of suicide and any of that. But the part you mentioned really. rings true of me, which is the messages you get, I get people struggling, hurting, really going through it. And it almost makes me go through it, you know, like, I care. I feel sorry for them. It almost

brings me back to how dark. How do you handle like those DMs or those messages? Remi, I'm suicidal. I actually reach out to Jed a lot of the time. And you send their resources or you don't want to say too much. And like, even if you're like are someone that's like super empathetic and want you because you are not a mental health professional and it's good to say that. But I think there's an extent where you can and just, you know, show you care because this person follows you and clearly feels like they can like vent to you while saying you should call this hotline or reach out or these are resources that they like the person, someone I spoke to was like I didn't know that there were resources like that.

So thank you. That's huge. So I think there's no right answer. But it's like you could do. Well, that's what's so hard is I've always like pinched myself. I'm like, why are they coming to me? But then I remind myself. Because you went through something and that that is what people feel.

And I'm like an easier conversation than actually calling the hotline first. I do think that I think like, yeah, if I'm openly talking about like these like experiences and I'm, why'd I do this today? Why'd I binge? Whatever. It's like people are going to message me about that. Like they're like, well, why do I have to go a step further and find a therapist and do all of this?

Like they're going to go first to us where it's like an easier connection and they could just send a message. Yeah. It took me a minute to understand that. But I still get a message this morning for someone who's really going through it. And they're like, they want to call me and talk to me. And I'm like, I don't even know what I would say other than here's some resources and things that have worked for me. But like I said, I think putting a little personal on it is okay than just sending here resources and joy. I would never say that to someone.

It's not in me. Sure. So I definitely like have talked to Jed of how I can format it and say it. So like I will never not care and I'll never ignore a message like that. Yeah, which I love what you're doing with Jed, which by the way, we're hosting an event here. at soft bar. Remy's put together a really cool mental health

conversation and kind of meet up with Jed. Basically all the things we're talking about. I feel like you're, you really are building a community around this conversation which as someone who is a male

who just as of two weeks ago started opening up a little bit about this bulimia thing that I did. Like, I can never talk about that with my guy friends. One of my guy friends recently vented to me about this and was so like embarrassed

and I can never share it and I'm like, you know, I love that you're saying that. Literally you're the, you and Annie, my producer, And then my last guest who came in.

And now everyone up. That's it. Who knows about this little story. But I hit it from my roommates in college. Yeah. And I get that. Is it something like as a man, you're probably feeling like, oh, we, you know, it can't.

Which is interesting because you open up about other mental health things. I open about everything. Yeah. You know, and that's what's, it's like another topic that for some reason is really uncomfortable. You hit something that like makes me blown away because like you have to eat to live. Yeah. And it's like you don't eat alcohol.

You don't eat cocaine. And that was my drug of choice. It's so complex. I'm just so glad we're talking about this stuff because I feel like it's such a needed conversation. And then also as a result, the commentary and the mental health component, it's very complex. Yeah. A couple more questions. We're getting, just realized we're getting close to the end.

But dating. I talk about sober dating on this podcast a lot. When I first got sober, the number one rule basically was don't date for a year. Yes, I do know that. You know, work a program, get sober, the emotions. Life. Did you do that? No. I didn't. Started dating Lindsay about eight months in. Now, at that time, I knew her. I knew her really well. She was one of my best friends. She knew my situation. We lived in the same apartment building. She was on a different floor. I was going through so much change, but what's

interesting is I look back. I might have traded drugs and alcohol for this romance and this excitement and this love and attention, which it was amazing at that time. How did you navigate, you know, there's a lot of changes in your body and your mind? How are you navigating dating in all of or not. No, I think when all of that was going on, I don't like still bringing it up, but when all of that was going on during the surgery, during the depression from the surgery, all of that I did get broken up with.

And that was my only significant other I've ever had, like, serious relationship. So that was a big part of everything where I was like, I would say there was probably like six months of just like, I'm healing in every way. My body mentally, everything. Like, I definitely was not well in many ways. And then I would say I kind of went on like a six months of like, I'm going to go hook up with people and I don't care.

And I do not want to date anyone. Like I was just kind of like having fun and didn't care because I'm like. Yeah. Yeah. You're allowed. Mon Talk summer vibes. And then. I know it well.

Now I really am in like making myself just go on a date because it's so hard for me. I never dated in my life. So would you say to anybody who's like going through this, you know, food journey, maybe that first. six months, would you say like for you was not healthy to maybe introduce like a romance? I feel like I can't say because I was going through breakup. So that like is so hard to say. Like what was the reason and why I felt like I couldn't connect with someone new? Sure. I think that it's, it depends like who you are as a person. Because I remember when I met that person I was with. I was actively binging at that time and never spoke about it until six months in.

And I was like actively dealing with so much that I didn't say a word about. And I do think that came out like, hey, by the way, I acted like I have nothing wrong with me. I have a eating disorder. I have sleep apnea. I have this. I have this. Like, I'm gaining more and more weight. Like, it was a lot. No, you can laugh. I laugh. I'm laughing only because when I, it's when I go on a first date and if the person doesn't know me, which at this point, sometimes it's been harder to find, I'd say, but that is a hard. I do have a lot, like a list. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a cocaine addict. I'm sober. I care a lot about my, like, I like. Do you say that on like a first date? Depends. If the other person's sober, that's probably all we'll talk about is like recovery story,

is getting sober. And then sometimes you're like, I want to talk about more than just that. Okay, I have a question. Like, are you fine going on dates with people that are not sober? Absolutely. As long as they have a good relationship. I guess what I'm wondering for you, though, like with some of your story, which is a big part of your life. But at what point, like, is it appropriate to introduce that to that new person you're meeting? Like, it's a weird thing. And I get this question all the time. So I tell them from the get go, I'm an alcoholic. It could be a turnoff or could be a red flag, but honestly, I feel like being more open. I would rather them like know things right away.

Just like even on like my hinge, I do not, you wouldn't know I'm an influencer. I changed that from the past. So like I don't have like red carpet photos. I'm not going to have my sports ill shirt. Like I just am like say nothing because I want to see people. Even when I'm out in like this summer, the past summer, I hear and see the change of people. So like if a guy I'm talking to, I'm like, okay, this guy wants something to do with me. And I watch people be like, oh, that's Remy.

She does this. She's, go whatever. And then they like want to hang out with me. and want to take me on a date, whatever. I'm very aware of all that stuff. So I very much want someone to, like, be interested in me not because of that. Sure. On a first date in terms of, I would tell someone what I do.

I'm not going to lie right away. In terms of all this other stuff, I probably wouldn't say it right away. Yeah, you don't have a trauma. But I am, again, an open book. And if it happened naturally, I actually did go on a first date the other day, and the surgery ended up coming up because of the way the conversation was going. I mean, do you feel better having that combo? Yeah, I mean, he won't stop asking to take me out again.

I actually want to. We're going to go on another day. I'm like, I'm busy right now. Love this. But he understands. But I am going to go on another date, and clearly he wasn't turned off by that. I love that. I mean, putting it all out there sometimes, I think, can lure people in.

Yeah. When you're really authentic with that, it actually hopefully will attract the right one. I think it's better. They don't reach out or call you back or whatever, then you know that they, if that's not your person. And it saves you a lot of time. Yes, I think so. You're going through it actively, everything you've been sharing. That's what I've literally taken these people.

You're in the middle of it. On these like five years of like a roller coaster. And I'm doing it in front of other people where I'm getting their opinions. But I'm not, it feels worse to me not sharing it almost. Yeah. But I still go back and forth with it because then the more you read the opinions, it makes you like, am I doing my life the right way? You know?

You're questioning. I go through this with soft bar and things I brands that we work with here. Very lucky we get hit up by companies and things that I'm interested in. I deal with this stuff all the time. So I wanted to ask you one last thing about dating, and then we're going to wrap up. Are there any green flags that you see in dating? Anything that you can give our listeners? I'm like automatically thinking of red flags.

I know. Okay, you know, okay. You also a red flag. In my situation, I really don't, I want someone to be really passionate about their career and what they're doing, and I don't want that to be this one. Or I don't want it to be like if it's someone that is doing something different and then, like, you could tell that they're trying to do, like, you could tell right away. Yeah.

So I would like someone to have their own passion. and what they're doing, but also be so down with whatever I do. What's your favorite red flag? What's yours? So then I can, like, think of. They only talk about Summer House. Oh, that's horror. Yeah, that's insane.

Probably. I mean, I'll talk about it. I'm very proud of our show. Right. But like if there, you could tell. If that's all it really comes to, then it's probably not a great. Yeah. This podcast, as you know, is called More Life.

What's giving you more life right now? I think just like my friends from before this time, as I'm navigating things, I feel like when I got into this industry, I kind of pulled away from everyone and wanted to just be alone in a way and like figure things out of my own. And lately I'm just like, oh my God, these people know me like no one else. They've been there for me from before and through every up and down I just said. And having them in my corner, I've just like been more appreciative and I've let them all know that recently. It's really beautiful. Because it's been like helping me a lot more realizing that. Takes a village. Yeah, for sure. And it's important because I think you're

helping a lot of people and you're going to continue to help a lot of people, which I think is fucking amazing and shows your character. So I'm going to keep supporting any way I can. Thanks. How can people access, I mean, you're easy to find on TikTok and Instagram and Instagram, Snapchat, and I brought Carl on. Oh, Remy has her own little portable fan. So when you're out and about in the Hamptons. I might be charged this one, but I wanted you to have the red one. Or in New York City. The red one you don't have. I think I gave you yellow in the summer. But it's a ring light and a fan. And You can get that on Amazon or a revolve and it clips on your phone. It clip on your laptop for Zoom meetings.

You have to hold it down. And it's got a light? Yeah. Sweet. And we're going to make a really big one for Carl. Maybe I just attach it here for my next interview. That's amazing. Thank you guys for joining us on More Life.

Watch or listen on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And please like, review, subscribe. It really helps us out. More Life is produced by Annie Siegel and executive produced by Adam Reynolds of Denham Pictures. This episode was directed by Annie Siegel, edited by Mikey Ortiz, and recorded at Softbar Studios in Brooklyn, New York. More Life is a production of Sony Music Entertainment. From Sony, our executive producers are Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay. Original music by Function Adams.

Sound mixing by Ian Sorrentino. Set designed by Michael Ignacio. Publicity by Caitlin Healy. Additional support from Abby Sharp. And a special thanks to Alison Shano and Joanna Orland. episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time. Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different. Locked in, loyal, invested. They're called fans.

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