More Life with Carl Radke - Sharon Radke on Motherhood, Witnessing Sobriety, and Healing After Loss

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Carl sits down with the woman who shaped him - his incredible mom, Sharon. Together, they reflect on how their relationship has evolved over the years - from discipline to deep friendship- and how sobriety reshaped their bond. Sharon opens up about what still hurts, what gives her hope today, and how Carl's brother's life continues to guide their family's purpose. This is a heartfelt, emotional conversation about grief, healing, and finding more life after loss through compassion and the unbreakable connection between a mother and son. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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kitchen. These little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo, chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Hey, guys, I'm Carl Radke, and welcome to More Life with Carl Radke. I've got the most special guest that I think I could ever have on this podcast. It's my mom. Sharon Radke. She's an amazing woman. She's inspirational. She's been through so much. And I think our listeners and you guys will really appreciate the conversation. I'm looking forward to talking about some stuff we've never really talked about before, getting to know her more

personally about her childhood, you know, her crazy stories, maybe in college. So I'm excited for you guys to get to know her more and get to learn from her. I'm also just grateful that she's getting to come in here at softbar here in Brooklyn. All right, mom. Welcome. Welcome to me. Welcome to More Life. More Life. I am here for more life. I love it. I'm so glad you made it. Thank you for being here. This is really exciting to get to talk to you. There's a lot of stuff that we're going to cover today that I actually don't know about you. Your stuff you don't know. Well, some things. I mean, I'll be interested to hear what you don't know. But I do have a ton of good questions for you. But as I've told you before, this podcast is called More Life, which I'm sure you're aware of is one of

my favorite sayings. Obviously, I couldn't stop repeating it. I think it was the summer of 2018. Drake had just launched his More Life album. I was still drinking and partying really hard, and that was just something I would blurt out. I thought send it. That's a Kyle Cook saying, send it. Oh. But I've adopted the send it saying.

Send it, you asked me my first time going out to the Hamptons. When was the last time you sent it, mom? And you were like, what, the mail? No. Or a check? I knew what you meant. You knew what I meant? Yeah.

Well, okay, this is a good segue. Do you have a favorite phrase or saying that you often find yourself repeating? Oh, geez Louise. Jesus Louise is a good. I feel you say that a lot. Is there a saying or something you live by? Maybe not, you don't repeat it all the time. Yeah, I don't like you more life.

I don't know that I do actually have one. What's your favorite swear word? Feel free. It is a blanking. Is it a four-letter word? It's a cluster. F. Yeah.

I'll let the audience. I like the cluster F. Figure out the rest there. Well, I'm really excited to talk to you today. Okay. Nothing too crazy. I'm excited to hear what you want to know. Well, I wanted you to open up a little bit and be vulnerable and talk about some things that maybe you and I haven't really talked through or I'd love to just get your perspective on things. So, you know, I want to start with your story. Okay. You know, this doesn't have anything to do with me. This is all pre-carl.

Pre-carl? There was a life pre-carrel? PC. Pre-carl. I don't know. I actually have this photo of you from high school. And when I look at it, it's like I see myself, I look a little bit like you when you're younger. Yeah, I think so. And I see myself, but I'm also like, who is this person? Sharon Curtis. You were not a rad key yet. Sharon Ann Curtis. Tell me about yourself back in the day. Well, even as a kiddo, you know, like elementary school, I was always very unsure. anxious? Maybe not so much angstish, but I'm sure of myself and weird. I didn't fit with the cool kids.

You know, my famous story of, you know what I'm going to say? I want you to tell it, though, because it's actually something I think, if you're going to go back to the question I asked you at beginning, which is what's a saying and phrase you live by, I think this actually could be a part of that, which is tell us the story about what happened when you were younger. Eighth grade. It was an eighth grade elementary school. And you went to Catholic school. All girls, Catholics.

Grammar school was co-ed, high school was all girls. So 12 years of Catholic education. Shout out to the Catholic Church, maybe not. Not so much. But anyway, people were having graduation parties. And there were two eighth grades, about 80 kids. You know, those nuns could beat 40 kids in a classroom, no problem. And everybody got invited of the two grades except about six of us.

But it wasn't school sanctioned. No, it was not. But it was a couple of families were hosting. And I suspect the parents didn't know. Probably not. Because it was so few that were left out. So my parents, I think, did the best thing they could. They said, well, we can't handle having 80 kids at the house,

but we will have a graduation party for your class. not the other one, but just yours, and invited everybody from the class. And they all came, those creeps, even though they didn't invite me to theirs. How did that impact you when you were? Well, don't leave anybody out. I hate for someone to be left out. So because of that instance in your youth, do you think that's what fueled? Some things. And again, I think it was a great lesson that my parents was not to cry and pout, but to do something positive. You know, I think a lot of us have felt at times when we were growing up in middle school or high school, we're on like the outside or we're not in the cool kids or I can certainly

relate to that. I feel like at times there were moments, even though, yeah, like I felt like I wasn't in the circle. You're kind of on the outside and that's not a good feeling. No, no. Well, what were your dreams and passions? I mean, it sounds like you were unsure of yourself. Very much so. Was there anything that really you were passionate about in middle school or high school that you can remember?

I thought I wanted to act. So you love performing or? But I was terrified. Scared. Same. That was terrified. I think I'd get some of my anxiousness. Oh, you poor thing. From you.

That's okay. We had a senior play and we imported boys from the other boys. What was the play? Do you remember? Pride and Prejudice. That's why you love it so much. Beautifully wretched Elizabeth. I love you.

That's the only line I remember. and obviously that was Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy is your like man crush of all man crushes. And he was Irish, the kid who played him, dark black hair. Oh, God. He was cute. I had a girlfriend, but in any case. And I got the part of Elizabeth, which totally blew my mind in high school.

In high school. So you would love doing the arts and theater. And I think as Elizabeth, I was good. What did you think your life would become, like in high school? like what did you think you were going on to do after you finished? I think I'd pretty much put out acting because I had a lot of stage fright. Yeah, it's kind of hard to do acting through. And I will say, when I started trying the acting thing, initially was incredibly scared.

I was shaking a lot of the times for auditions or. Oh my goodness, because as a kid, you were so. I would confidently go, but like inside, I was freaking out the whole time. The time you mopped the floor at the talent show. Oh yeah, that was funny. You weren't even in the television. I wasn't even in the show, but I like made the show about me mid cleaning. Yeah, it was great.

I forgot about that. I don't even know how old you were then, but. What do you feel most people don't know about you? I mean, outside of being my mom, outside of some of the- Carl's mom, that's about it. I mean, most people I will say that have recognized you in public. It's funny. People come up to you and go, hi, Carl's mom.

Are you Carl's mom? Yeah, very few know my name. Yeah, I mean, you're usually listed on like the graphic on the, the screen as Carl's mom. Yeah. I have no, no identity other than Carl's mom. Well, let's, let's keep going with your youth. So you grew up in the 60s and 70s.

Late 50s, 60s. Talked me through your Woodstock experience. Because growing up with you and growing up in our household, we had a vinyl, a music vinyl that was the Woodstock album that you had always held on to. And I was always fascinated by your. story that you had gone to Woodstock, but as I got older, you used to, you would release more info or remember more. What was one of the craziest things you saw at Woodstock, if you can remember? Basically, all the naked men peeing in the mud. I've never seen so many naked men

peeing in mud. I mean, you can see the naked men on the old footage and naked women, mud sliding and dancing naked and in the rain. I was never big on mud. My father used to say, why couldn't I be a normal hippie and not take as many showers? You're a clean hippie. I was a clean hippie. Do you remember any of the music? Jimmy Hendricks. Pretty amazing one. Country Joe and the fish.

Yeah. What are we fighting for? Did you get in any trouble? I mean, there was tons of trespassing. The first time I ever smelled marijuana. Was that Woodstock? Did you smoke any marijuana? Not at Woodstock, no.

That you could remember? No, we were pretty boring. Were you drinking alcohol at all? The drinking age might have been 18. So people were drinking. In New York. state it was 18 because at home I couldn't drink but in New York state I could. Wow. So yeah, if I were drinking it was how many days were you were there the whole the full festival? No we left early. So

you got out before it got really bad? I think so. Okay. I mean it again we were prepared so. So while you were there and this is all happening did you realize what was going on in a national scale? In a broader scale no. You had no idea. I mean you know when there are all these announcements don't take the red pills and I mean there are all these announcements about don't buy the blah blah marijuana you know said did you buy any of the red pills or we were so boring it sounds like you had some good role models growing up yeah who would you say was your biggest role model my mother because my mother was very forward thinking my mother was not a 50s housewife to say the very least no she was not i think you remember shout out to grandma Unis? Yeah, Grandma Eunice was a piece of work. What did she think about Woodstock?

Well, initially, I mean, they knew I was going. This was not a big secret. She reads the New York Times. I'm sure she learned pretty quickly that. They were in Massachusetts, actually, at the cottage. And the news reports, because Nelson Rockefeller said it was a national emergency or disaster. Disaster area. And my mother was mortified. You remember how it felt finding out for the first time? that you were going to be a mom. Terror, I'm sure, initially. My mother was furious with me that I should have known better

because we got married in March. I found out in June I was pregnant and I was throwing up for nine months and that's not a great way to start out. Your marriage and we were living in Griffith, Indiana, which is Godforsaken place in the world. So all of it. And then I was nine months pregnant

when my father dropped dead. And all the good Irish Catholic ladies at the funeral said, well, your father's not. here, but at least you have this baby coming. And my head at that time, and again, I didn't know Curtis, obviously, but I'm like, I didn't agree to this trade. Nobody told me that if I got pregnant, I'd lose my dad. Yeah. Like the 16th of January, and Curtis was born February 4th. So I had this very squalling baby by myself, I mean, obviously, but your dad was working a ton in Griffith, Indiana, And there I was.

It was awful. You know, some women after they have babies, you know, can have the postpartum depression. And they didn't talk a lot about that then. Of course. I mean, it would be hard to know what I had between my dad having died. I mean, that was a really hard time. Yeah. Physically, mentally, emotionally, all the things.

All the way around. I hated living there. Well, you're from, to remind our audience, my mother's from Connecticut outside of New York City, New Haven, Connecticut, which most people from New Haven, and think they're like above New York City? Oh, we are. When we moved into Illinois from Indiana and bought the house that,

and I was in a neighborhood, and there was a what they called welcome wagon, and it was a club for newcomers. The neighborhood embraced you, the community embraced you more in Chicago and Illinois. I mean, Indiana was crap, but by the time we got to, oh, and it smelled the steel mills.

I'd never encountered a steel mill before. You know, we're near Gary. Oh, yeah. Steel mill city. Next to Pittsburgh and some other rust belt cities. It was awful. I'd open the sliding glass door pregnant, throwing up all the time and just... Smelling pollution.

But it was much better when we got to the house, but then, of course, life didn't go too smoothly there because your father kept losing jobs. and it kind of went down the... Yeah, went down the different path. That's a nice way of putting it, yeah. The ride that steals the spotlight every time it hits the road, that's the Volkswagen Tiguan.

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Is there one thing about me as a kid that now makes sense? Squiggly. So I was always sensitive. The squigglys were your pants. Oh. I'm a sensitive person. I think even they talk about that, just even in AA, like a fair amount of alcoholics and people that struggle, there is a tremendous sensitivity.

Because, and the alcohol helps masks that. Yeah, either can numb it or help you deal with it or temporarily. But your whole, I mean, your clothing. I remember the squeak, like, I was always very, I would get very frustrated with a wrinkle or a little weird imperfectness on a shirt, and I wouldn't want to wear the shirt. I was also very particular about the feeling of it on my skin. And I like, I'd have like mini meltdown. It's about clothes and I still kind of do to this day.

You know, that does lead into your, you put your clothing together. I always care about the details. Yeah. You are GQ. You're like a little stain or a little fuzzy. You were the GQ. Your brother was the thrift store is basically. Not that I buy a lot of stuff at the thrift show.

Yeah, he was like hippie. Yeah. He didn't care more. Crift, Carhart and Dickies and hippie stuff. But no, you. And the squiggly is definitely. Okay, so I was, you know, always a little bit of a sensitive kid, but I always cared about the details. The most amazing thing about you, you said you were going to do something and you did it. You followed

through. You had incredible follow through. Thank you for saying that. That's something I actually like. I think that's a really great quality to be known for. Now to keep going into the family stuff, I know you were talking about Curtis a little bit. Obviously, you know, my grandparents, your parents. Obviously, our family does have a history with substance abuse and something we've talked a lot about very openly, publicly. When did you first become aware of substance abuse or things that you may have picked up on in family or friends? 1969, you're at Woodstock and you like notice,

like, the friend of yours is like, is always drunk and kind of acting crazy. Did you clock substance abuse at all in your? I don't think so. I think those days, I mean, my dad had drink too much. So how does that look? I mean, my dad was one like your other grandfather when he drank too much.

he got mean. Get angry or aggressive. He got really mean. What was his drink of choice? Martinis. He and your grandfather bonded on martinis. Like two martinis, hilarious, endearing, charismatic. Three martinis, get out of the way.

You know, when we were in Massachusetts, you know, you're up in the woods. What are you going to do? We played cards, went swimming, and they drank. They all did. We all, you know, the other family's there. Yeah, there was the era back then. It was like the brown liquor. Yeah, that's what they all did.

But some of the guys, they just fell asleep. They got really smashed, but my father got mean. Yeah. So that wasn't a good. But you didn't clock it in that moment at the time. He was just, that's just dad when he gets a little. I just didn't, I knew I didn't like it because he could be mean to my mom. Yeah.

And that was scary. That's where, like for me, even growing up in our, you know, with grandma and grandpa, Radke, just alcohol was a big part of the family. Friday nights, you know, beer and wine, but also grandfather and other family members just happy hours at the house. Oh, Grandpa, yeah, Grappin is happy hours. How do you think addiction shaped the family dynamic over the years? It was rough on it. It ruined any dynamic maybe.

For heaven's sakes, we were going to those family meetings and you, because you were five years younger than your brother, remember all those meetings you got dragged to? You were 10 years old for that. Like the family therapy and... Oh, and we even had to take you to... Gateway for family meetings. I remember that. That was rough.

I mean, and that was terrible for you. Yeah. I mean, I think what my mom's kind of explaining is, you know, when my brother was what, maybe 13 or 14 is when behavior started to shift a little bit. His freshman year in high school. And then his drink, he started to drink. And that's a thing kids were doing underage drinking. Kids were smoking weed.

They were doing things like that for the most part. But I think we learned slowly over time. time, his drinking and addictions were continuing to... I don't think of him as much drinking. I'm not saying he didn't, but it was more... Other substances. It was, you know, starting out with the weed and finding it under his bed packaged for sale.

Yeah, he was selling to other people too, which I think is pretty common with... Oh, yeah. Do you have anything that you wish someone would have told you about having a family, the dynamic of a family with substance issues and... into alcoholism. Oh, probably a lot. I wish someone would have said, Carl, it's a disease.

These people are really sick and they don't know how it's just like having someone who has cancer or another, you know, Lyme disease. Like it's something they wish they could change but they can't, they don't know how. It's something really deep within their body. Yeah.

That's something I really wish people told me because I always just hated Curtis or hated other family members because I just thought they were assholes. Yeah. But then you fell into. Then here I was falling into it, trying to be the opposite of that.

Yes. And that's what's even more conflicting. For a while, I was like, I'm fine. And I was drinking and using cocaine. See, I never believed you due to your brother. Never in a million years did I think. You never thought I would have. Yeah.

And that's kind of how I felt growing up, at least. I was like, I'm just going to do the exact opposite as he. And as long as I do that, I won't be like him. So it was kind of a harsh reality when it became more evident later. Yeah. Before Curtis died. later, you know, that you were kind of indulging the same way, but you were keeping your life somewhat together.

I could put on enough of a show to keep it together. Well, like Grandpa, I mean. I was functioning, for the most part. Grandpa was a functioning alcoholic. He went to work every day, never missed, blah, blah. And I guess my father was too. But I always equated grandfather to not have a problem because for the most part, he was still doing what he needed to do.

And there was other individuals that, like, dad would drink. but for the most part my recollection of dad is he didn't get super angry he was just he drank a lot you know yeah and he'd fall asleep he'd fall asleep or no he never got nasty he would just be funny or silly yeah or just so i would put those folks in the camp of they don't have a problem because the behavior doesn't yeah kind of go big or crazy this is something i think growing up i was always upset with because people misunderstand the family dynamic with substance abuse and addiction where people thought we were like the fucked up family, we were the bad family, I was the bad kid, the bad brother.

Do you think people misunderstood that? Oh, absolutely. They just thought you were bad parents. They thought Curtis was a bad kid. I would never forget, you know, sitting in the football stadium. They're out there, they're playing. Curtis had played with them since he was in first grade, any number of sports. And he was down doing whatever at the snack bar.

I don't know, smoking or doing stuff. he shouldn't be doing. And their kids are on the field playing Friday night football. That was awful. That was one of the most awful things for me is just sitting there watching those kids play. And Curtis not being there. And Curtis not playing. But I think, again...

Were you embarrassed or ashamed? Yeah. Absolutely. Because I think in our community, your identity as a parent is directly connected to your child's success on or off. It could be on the field. It could be in the classroom. It could be in the theater.

I think a lot of communities. Well, maybe it's more like the kind of community. Well, because you'd go to a football game and everybody's like, oh, there's Sharon and Bill. Like his kids still smoking. That's how I felt whether it was true. Well, I think this is good to talk about because I also felt the same way growing up in our community where on the football field or soccer field or a basketball court, I always had this thing in the back of my head thinking the parents or the other kids were like, well, Carl's brothers

kind of screwed up a little bit. His family has struggled with managing it all. like what else is, what's the shoe going to drop from Carl here? And you see, what's probably worse for you, you are kind of the savior. Like high school with you was such fun. Because I kind of had a chance to rewrite what had already happened with Curtis. Exactly. But I had a road that was pretty scarred going down because I think the expectation was,

okay, here comes another ad key. Yeah. What's going to happen here? And I did everything in my power to prove and show that I wasn't that version. And I remember just thinking, it was such a godsend that, you know, we got to chaperone dances and we chaperone the gateway clipper thing. That was fun. Shout out to Ludacris, move bitch, get out the way.

I'll never forget my mom and my dad dancing to ludicrous. And the lyrics are unbelievable for. And you're dancing. I remember watching you from up on, up above. Yeah. And I thought, I didn't know he could dance. I love dancing. And, you know, and then we had.

to do the after prom and oh god but it was just such fun. So you had two very different parenting experiences with me versus my brother in high school. I mean to get into Curtis if you're comfortable talking about it. No, I mean. You and I talk about him a fair amount but I don't know if we've really ever covered some of this. But I mean, how would you describe the journey your grief has been on? I've heard you say anywhere from I'm numb. I'm angry.

Kind of don't give a shit. I'm mad. Not sure they don't give a shit. it comes up. I've had those moments at very small moments where I'm angry, I'm sad, I get resentful. And then I look at a photo of my grandfather and my brother up on the wall. And I'm like, that reminds me of the happier moment. Oh, yeah.

You know, we were sitting out back eating shrimp. Grandpa's probably drinking yingling or watching football. Curtis's got some crazy story about something. But those were, that's a memory I can smile out. Yeah. Oh, there are lots of memories I can smile at. I'm just, I'm more angry at the story. system. I mean, this all goes back to mental health, drug addiction is not appropriately taken

care of in our world. My favorite story, and I'm sure I've told you this when I was at a conference when I was working for AFN. Yeah, yeah. You were in Florida for this. We were in D.C. actually, for a nominal. I don't know this. National Alliance for Mental Illness. And Patrick Kennedy, he spoke about mental illness, which was appropriate for the conference. and he was so eloquent. And just talking about if this were cancer, people would be marching on the streets that it is not getting,

to make me cry, the help needed. And I went up and spoke to him afterwards, you know, about that. And he's right. It just gets shoved. Well, it's gotten shoved to now our police systems

and our fire departments who aren't skilled in necessarily dealing with some mental things and or behavioral things. things. It's kind of resorted, it's fallen on their laps, especially here in New York City. You see a lot of behavior on subways and on the streets that it's just normal here in New York. You see a lot of that, but how they address it, it's people go in, they get put right back on the street. And it's kind of like this cycle that just keeps continuing on. Well, because they don't know what to do, so if we can put

them away, there's just so much wrong in it all and how much I had to fight to get Curtis into programs. and you couldn't convince the insurance companies that held the key to the whole thing of what the kid needed, regardless of what doctors might have said or psychiatrists, they didn't want to pay for it, and they still don't. There's lots of groups that now have really advocated to raise awareness for this, but also raise funds. Because as we know, even with our family, to my recollection, some of the services in rehab and all of that counseling is a very, very expensive thing.

we were not in a family position to support some of that. So we were trying to find public programs or grants. Sure. And even that is still very hard. So even thinking about our family, like we weren't poor. We were blue-collar, middle class, worked for what we had. And we still couldn't afford some of the treatment and services, let alone thinking about a family who's very marginalized and doesn't have it even close to those resources.

And we had opportunity. There were a couple of families of means that offered money. To talk about that. I mean. To send Curtis to. Or like an outward bound. Yeah. Well, one family wanted the outward bound and would pay for it.

And do you remember that feeling back then when that decision was made? Well, you see, I would have taken that donation or gesture. Yeah. In more recent years, I at least feel a little bit of solace in that I think you, myself, and Curtis's story is helping other people because of just the nature of how it all unfold it in just where I've been. I don't have any kind of solutions except, you know, to keep plugging away at finding appropriate treatment for your kids and plug away with your senators and congressmen.

Regardless of how budgets are going right now, there needs to be more money to that. Funneled to those programs because those programs are expensive. But, you know, with Curtis, they send him to a three-day thing, even a two-week thing. Yeah, it's like, and then it's just right back to the same. It doesn't, now, the one at senior year in high school, where he was gone the first semester of high school, that was probably the closest to being the best thing for him because it kept him, you know, he was outside of Harrisburg. And maybe he needed the whole year there. I mean, that was not. Yeah.

And that was court ordered, I believe. A lot of what we had to do had to be done through the courts because of money. Yeah. So, I mean, what would you say to other parents? I don't know. Don't give up? I don't know. Because I don't know that I found really any answers.

Yeah. And that's... I didn't. My son died, you know. Well, when did you start to feel normal after we lost Curtis? I'm not sure I've ever going to feel normal. Yeah, I would agree. I don't think we'll ever feel normal, normal, but...

I always ask the question, when does grieving stop? Never. And I have no idea, but that's my thought. It never really stops. I'm fine. And there'll be days I'm... I don't know where I was driving past. Maybe it was like Center Church Road and McMurray Road where he used to live, and I just lost it.

Yeah, your little reminders. And I mean, why that moment? you know, I go down McMurray Road a lot. Yeah. But this one day, I mean, I think I had to pull over. I was just, and that's relatively recently. Sure. And, you know, when do you recover?

I mean, as a part of you, this has happened to me where there's been moments where I, it's not that I don't feel sadness, I don't feel anything. And when the sadness or that expression of crying comes out, I'm almost in a weird way happy. Because it's, because I care. Because I care and I'm still there. So I hope that maybe you feel... I feel more anger, I think, than anything. Well, you've, I mean, listen, let's be honest, you've had to absorb a lot of post-Curtis.

You did. I mean, is my, our niece, our beautiful niece, Vera, you develop resentment over that. Yeah, I have some. And that's, I think... Not to Vera per se, because I love Vera. I'm mostly angry. I'm angry when I look at other people who have survived. their overdoses.

Something I've learned is trying to find peace with that. Curtis always wanted to help people. And I heard stories from dad and maybe even you. He would give Narcan to younger kids. But nobody could Narcan him that night under the bridge, could they? Well, I had, maybe I've told you this before, but I went to an Al-Anon meeting. And I was really emotional because I was explaining the story of Curtis. And I was in a group with women and men had lost siblings.

under loved ones. And I was explaining the story about where Curtis was found. And the woman said, what was the name of the bridge? And I said the Liberty Bridge. She goes, Carl, he's free. Liberty. Ha. I think there's a way to look at his passing as a way that people have been helped

or have looked at themselves differently. Family members, me, I think it's given us a new opportunity as a family. and he hopefully is helping other people. And guess what? His story will continue to live on through amazing Bravo and through my story and through soft bar and everything we do now with what we stand for and what we're trying to achieve. So I think in a crazy way, he's the guiding light. Yeah, I don't.

And almost the protector of me and our kind of vision for how to change this family trajectory. So that's how I try to look at it. maybe that'll be something for me to hold on to. And we'll talk about it later too. We have all week together. Lucky you. Well, I really appreciate you open up about that. I know it's not easy talking to you about it.

It makes me feel better. But we love Curtis. We always well. And I think it's crazy to think of all the things that have kind of transpired as a result. Do you remember what you talked about is body of work, the cars? Always. No, he's got amazing stories. He's a character.

And I miss him and I love him every day. But I think I try to live with purpose and try to embody. He's always up here. I see him and I think about him. And what's funny is he was always someone that really, I think, wanted me to go down the right path too. You know, if anything, he hated and resented me because I was being not truthful about my drinking and cocaine. Did he know it? Oh, yeah.

Really? He heard stories. He would hear from other kids because other kids talk in Pittsburgh. Well, true. Pittsburgh is like everybody knows everybody you better watch what you do because he would hear stories and I think even more once the TV thing started he would continue to hear things just really yeah gee I didn't hear him well well let's talk about our relationship me and you we're besties yes we are how is our relationship evolved in the last few years I mean I we weren't

always best friends obviously there's like a turning point with mothers and sons I think at some point in their 20s or 30s where the son kind of views his mom more as a friend. I mean, you're always my mom. I mean, I never felt we were. But I've developed more of a friend. Disengaged at all. No, but I felt more of like a friendship with you when you visited New York. Oh, yeah. You and I would go do fun mother's son things, but it was more as like, we went to city feel and saw boys to men perform after a Mets game. Yeah, there's all sorts of. We have, I mean, you were my, you were my, God send when your dad left because I didn't know what to do. Rightly or wrongly, I was totally didn't want it, didn't expect it. Well, I also didn't either, so, but I'm glad I was able to be

there for you. Yeah, I mean, I have told numerous people, you know, I walk the Smithfield bridge often in the morning to go to work. And I mean, I'm not saying I was suicidal, but it would be like if it hadn't been for you I might have given more thought to it but you were the one mom you can do it mom you're great you know you've got this mom I meant it and now you're gonna make me cry mom didn't feel like she had it at all well you were going through a rough rough moment and I think that was a time that was very difficult for you obviously but it was a shock for me as well just given the nature of you and dad had been married for 34 years. There was a long, what I understood as a history of everything was fairly okay.

You know, I know there was ups and downs with Curtis and challenges. Oh, sure. But the whole thing, how it went down, I think you should give yourself some grace and give yourself a little bit of opportunity to feel it because you were presented with a really difficult situation that I don't think a lot of people would have handled that as admirable and or. I don't know if I was admirable. Well, here you are, guess what?

You and him are cool again. Yeah, somewhat. Yeah. I'm still mad. Of course. You're allowed. But I think the way you've behaved and the way you've operated for the last 10 years in regards to the separation and the divorce has lent it itself to where you are now, where it's healthy and fairly copacetic. I mean, and it's interesting.

I mean, I even think Lou feels the same way. We both are very, very sad. on what happened to our long-term marriages. Of course. It's not that we aren't happy. It's not that we don't love each other. But I think, and I should speak for myself, but I still wish it in many, many ways that it never had happened.

The loss of the Radkeye family somewhat was devastating. My mom was gone, my dad was gone. It's the wrong order. But I felt like I had no first. family anymore, that he just took that away from me after 34 years. I had all these sisters-in-law, and brothers-in-law, and all of a sudden I had nothing, honey. Well, you still have us. Well, I know I have you. But you still have, there's still, you know, your well. I know. And you still carry on the Radkeyekeye name. And Curtis carries on the Curtis

name. There you go. Yep. I think, what is the, maybe the hardest truth that we've had to face together. I don't know. I mean, is it wrapped with your dad somewhat, maybe? Yeah. Some stuff that we have, that we don't need to discuss now, but stuff we have been aware of or whatever that we're difficult things. Family dynamics are very challenging. Yeah, I think we've actually done a pretty damn good job navigating. And I think you do a great job navigating still, to this day a very challenging modern family, you know, and I, there's a lot that can be learned still, but I think the way you've handled it has been pretty, pretty abeyable. I don't know. There are days when I feel like I ain't handling nothing. But that's who you are. You're,

kind of a perfectionist a little bit. I'd say so. Sort of kind of. You're a little OCD too. Not, not like. Not like most people, but you do have some tendencies. I mean, I'm probably more ADHD kind of. I'm easily distracted. Squirrel. Let's switch gears in something maybe a little more entertaining and fun. Not that some of it hasn't been as fun, but reality TV. Tell all the audience what you would like to do back in early seasons. Back in the early when Stacey and I, my good friend Stacey and I would watch it, she'd come over every Monday because she was going through a divorce as well.

And we watch it. And I would, you know, I didn't throw anything breakable, but pillows. Your mother raised, you better, won't. So my mom would throw things at the TV at old Carl and summer house. Yeah. She also was not a big fan of my behavior, and neither was I, quite frankly. Well, I... I don't know if we really even addressed some of the episodes back then.

It was just like I was in such a hazed, flurry, like, blurry state that I almost was just like, we never even talked about some of those moments. Well... Until, like, after the fact, after the fact. I mean, I feel like the one where I cried all over you. the episode. Yeah, but that's what you were in it. I'm talking about like episodes where I'm like coming home at six in the morning, freaking out on Jules, getting crazy fights with Lindsay or the work as twins, me and Stephen having our issues, me and Kyle drinking and partying too much. I mean,

there were times I think, oh dear God, Carl, but almost the entire time you've been, the entire time, yeah, your dad and I weren't together. So I think there was so much other. junk going on in my life. But, you know, I throw things to the TV said, your mother raised you better. And I figured you were a big boy. You'd figure it out. To some extent. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, because everybody was ill. There wasn't one person that didn't have moments of

bad behavior. We all had our rough. Yeah. I mean, I think the true essence of Summer House is like everybody kind of has some shit going on. Oh, yeah. We're all kind of in it together. Well, speaking of, I mean, which cast member past or present would you want to sit down? with and have a soft cocktail or functional beverage or a coffee. I don't know. I always enjoy sitting down with Kyle and chatting. That's a great answer.

Kyle would love to sit down with you for coffee. And we have. I mean, I had discussions with Kyle way back when, standing on a staircase of one of the houses, giving him crap about Amanda. I was giving him crap about him. And I also gave Amanda crap about it.

Nice. About Kyle. And I've known them the longest. You know, I have definitely feel like. And, you know, I was in Mexico with Kyle and he was... That's right. You did get to spend some time in Mexico. We're going to get close to the wrapping up section here. Rapping.

Yeah. Tie it with a bow. A little bow. What's something you do daily or weekly that keeps you grounded and aligned? And I think I know the answer. You already did it this morning. Oh, walking? Walking.

Although I've... It's lacking? Yeah, I'm lacking in my walking. What do you want to make a commitment? for 2026 on your walking? I need to. You were always like a, every morning getting out there walking.

Yeah. And my speedwalking skills come from this woman right here. And my mother. And you have my friends who think I walk too fast. And it was, and it was my mom. I mean, maybe in her later years. Well, she got older. She was the slowest walker ever.

But younger? Like, remember how slow she walked? Well, yeah. She used to take forever. I thought that was eating. That too. But no, I've kind of fallen apart on, if you want to call it that on walking.

I'm tired of hills. You see, the beach, I walk out and go straight. It's flat. Here. Flat. I walk out, it's flat. Our hills aren't bad, but I'm not doing as well as walking. So I do need to recommit to that, and I don't know how to make myself.

Because I'm more tired, I think. That's okay. Sadly. It's natural. You've got a lot going on. I'm too old to raise a 17-year-old. Do you meditate? Do you do therapy?

Do you go to church? I do therapy, certainly. I would think that that would allow you to be grounded and aligned, right? Yeah, I don't meditate. Probably should, but I don't. And when Lou preaches, and I find I do, it's getting there, you know, because he has this commitment at the moment for a while anyway. I find, even though it's this tiny little congregation, you know, I enjoy talking to those folks. You're part of a community.

Yeah. And I that's... You're connected. And I feel less connected in many other ways at this point. You know, some of the people I knew well, they've all moved. They've retired. They're with their grandchildren. Well, you've been able to plug really well into new communities.

And I think with the... I'm struggling more with it now. Well, you work at a bird's... store. That's a community. Oh, yeah. Oh, I mean. You have the church. You have other friends. I think you do pretty damn well for a woman in where you're at right now. Thank you. Seriously. Good. No, I think you should maybe look at it like that. That. No, I feel like I should have more. With what time? I don't know. Are you going to like add more communities to your list? I don't know. What is giving you more life right now? You? Aw. True.

That was really sweet. I admire how far you've come. And I'm so proud of you. And I know you think that's kind of... No, it's nice to hear. It's true. Sometimes when your parents tell you these things, you're kind of like, all right, mom. They have to tell you because they're...

Then this, it means a lot, obviously. I strive to make you proud. Yeah. And I strive to make you happy in a weird way. And I think even when I got sober, it was also something I realized. I had some people in the meetings and a sponsor who was like, this is a gift you can give your family. But the gift you're actually giving is to yourself.

Well, true enough. But the gift passes on. And you don't have to worry about, I mean, I used to call you at 6 in the morning. Oh, yeah, you did. I used to call you at 7 in the morning. My front teeth fell out. I was at a rave in Brooklyn. You used to call me at 4.30 in the morning.

But you see, I was so naive and so convinced you wouldn't be like Curtis that I didn't think. Because you'd say, oh, I just need someone to vent to, mom. That's all I'm doing. I just need someone to vent to. Well, I did need that, but. But, you see, I didn't. The venting was fueled by drinking. And I refused in my head to believe it was fueled by drinking.

Yeah. Because I didn't want to deal with that. That was your little baby boy who could never do wrong. That's right. Except scream at the top of your lungs. You were very good at that. Yeah, unfortunately. Well, is there anything else you want to tell our amazing audience

and listeners and watchers. You're the best. No, you're the best. No, you're the best. This has been really cool to have you open up and talk about some of these things. I know it may not be super easy, but I think a lot of people that are watching.

I'm good at talking. You know that. You're a professional. You should have gone to Yap University. Yeah, I should have. You'd be a dean right now. No, I'd be president. Come on.

Thank you for being here, Mom. Anything else you want to say to our audience? Nope. Just you're a wonderful person. I love you to death. Thank you. And I'm very proud of you. Awesome. Thank you guys for tuning into more life with Carl Radke. Cheers.

Wow, that was an amazing conversation. My mom, Sharon Radke, I'm so lucky to have her not only in my life, but just having her come in and do the podcast. I think she's just an amazing open book. She is so forthcoming and so authentic with all the different things that's been going on for a long, long time and learning about her childhood and some of her youth, which is actually, I think, what makes me want to be so open and vulnerable with you guys. I hope you guys really enjoyed this conversation as much as I did. She's a wealth of information and I just think amazing. So thank you, Mom, for being here.

I hope you guys love this. Please check us out on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you find podcasts. I hope you guys click, review, subscribe, all the things. Thank you guys for tuning in to More Life with Carl Rike. More Life is produced by Annie Siegel and executive produced by Adam Reynolds and Denham Pictures. This episode was directed by Annie Siegel. edited by Mike U.R.T.s and recorded at Soft Bar Studios in Brooklyn, New York. More Life is a production of Sony Music Entertainment.

From Sony, our executive producers are Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay. Original music by Function Adams. Set designed by Michael Ignacio. Publicity by Caitlin Healy. Additional support from Abby Sharp. Special thanks to Allison Shano and Joanna Orland. New episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time.

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