More Life with Carl Radke - Summer House’s Bailey Taylor on Surviving a Toxic Relationship and Getting Her Joy Back

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Carl sits down with Summer House’s Bailey Taylor for a conversation on heartbreak, healing, and starting over. Bailey opens up about her toxic past relationship, navigating anxiety and trauma, and w...hat it’s really like dating again after it all. She shares how grief, loss, and a major breakup shaped her - and how she’s rebuilt through therapy, medication, and pouring herself into her It Girl podcast. She and Carl also get into what trauma looks like when it shows up in unexpected ways, how the Summer House cameras caught her in the middle of her healing, and why getting her joy back might be the biggest thing the summer gave her. Please consider donating to Lower Eastside Girls Club, an organization close to Bailey’s heart that provides free programs and mentorship for young women and gender-expansive youth. If anything from today’s conversation resonated with you, you’re not alone - and support is available. To learn more about emotional abuse, recognize the signs, or get help for yourself or someone you care about, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:24 That's gofundme.com. Gofundme.com. Hey guys, I'm Carl Radke and welcome to More Life. Today's episode, we've got Bailey Taylor. She is the It Girl podcast host. She's my summer house roommate. I love her. You guys are going to love her.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Join us live today here at Soft Bar, live in Greenpoint Brooklyn. Bailey Taylor, welcome to More Life. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for coming to Brooklyn. You've been here a few times before. Yes, I was going to say I'm a softbar regular. It's great to see you.
Starting point is 00:02:00 So as you know, this podcast is called More Life back in season two of Summer House, you were just a little baby back then. Truly, I was in college. I had arrived very drunkenly to the house that day. First day of filming, season two. And the Drake album had just come out. And I was obsessed with More Life. And I was blackout at one of my first dinners that season.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I should have shown up drunk instead of crying. But I was a mess. And I said More Life. But it's a saying that I've embodied and I like. So in my sobriety journey, More Life is all about, just taking advantage, seizing the opportunities, living to the fullest. I'm curious, does Bailey Taylor have a mantra or saying that you say out loud at times? Or do your friends know you for a certain saying?
Starting point is 00:02:43 Me and Levi constantly say, the horrors persist, but so do we. Which I don't know if that's like a good one, but we always say that. I thought you said something else. The horrors persist and so do we? We say that also. It depends. Sometimes we also say the horrors are persisting. Is that like a Shakespeare thing?
Starting point is 00:02:58 I have no idea. But the horrors are just constantly persisting. But so are we. Well, I love you and Levi. You girls are fun, big fans of you guys. But I kind of want to get into some of the stuff you talked about on this season a little bit if you're comfortable. One of the first moments I remember meeting you, you know, I was so excited. I love meeting our new cast members and you had such a fun.
Starting point is 00:03:18 And I was crying. You were excited to be there at such good energy. But then our first dinner, you were very vulnerable. And I am lured in by that. And I applaud you for at the first dinner. You were very, very sweet about it. I feel like when you come into a show, there's a lot. you want to talk about. And I think a lot of times people want to talk about the easy stuff,
Starting point is 00:03:36 the fluffy things. Oh, I make good money. I'm this, I'm that, my career. And it's like the hard things to talk about are challenges in your relationship or your career or your own feelings and emotions. And I think the vulnerable side of you, like we need that on our show. And I'm just so proud that you open that up. How was that first dinner for you? I was. I mean, it's a lot to take it. It was a lot. It's like you jump right in and you start drinking immediately. And it's like, you get there and you're trying, you want to have fun. And I was so excited. but it's like, okay, now have fun. And I just was like, oh, I'm just like getting nervous
Starting point is 00:04:06 and I'm getting drunker. Did you find alcohol would be kind of like a helpful tool in some of those? I wasn't sure, but I was, I kind of felt like. That's what everyone else is doing? Yeah, it was like, everybody was drinking. I'm like, oh, I could use a drink. Like, it wasn't like, I was like, don't get drunk.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Did you have a game plan coming to that first dinner? No, no, not at all. You were just like feeling it out. But I, so we were supposed to do, you were going to do a time capsule. And so that is what led me into the, tears was that we were going to do a time capsule and I had brought this photo of my grandfather who essentially basically what Daley's talking about is that the first dinner we were all sitting
Starting point is 00:04:40 around and this sometimes happens with our group like we will try to do some sort of fun thing as a table or group and the idea this time around was we had this little box and we were going to put something that we wanted to bury or put to rest something we wanted to leave behind and at the end of this summer we were going to dig up this box and see what we were all leaving behind but the box never actually, we... The box never came out. But we all did put something in the box, and you had put in a picture of your grandma? My grandfather, who had passed away.
Starting point is 00:05:09 It was during the time period of my grandfather passed away. Then, like, a month later, my boyfriend and I had this huge breakup. And then two or three months after that, one of my friends died very tragically. So sorry. And so it was just like, I just was thinking about all of those things. And it was like, just like sitting on my chest. And I just was like, God, like, this is a new start and this is a new summer. and this is a new friend group
Starting point is 00:05:32 and I'm going into all this new stuff and we're leaving things behind and I'm leaving behind this like anguish and then I'm like, but I'm also like leaving behind a chapter of my life that like I didn't want any of those things to happen I'm kind of being forced to leave
Starting point is 00:05:43 like I didn't want to leave those people behind I didn't want to leave that relationship behind so I just got so overwhelmed by emotion yeah and then it just it all came out I mean how has it been like how are you feeling now watching it back do you beat yourself up more like I'm really proud of you
Starting point is 00:05:57 thank you I mean it's embarrassing because very few people were like wow, we love that you, just you really. You were the only person who was like, I love that you cried. I love that you were so vulnerable. I love that you were so vulnerable. Yeah, everybody else was like, this is way too much.
Starting point is 00:06:11 She has some kind of like social disorder. She doesn't read social cues. What kind of psycho cries at a dinner that people just met? Just people on the internet. And I get that it was weird, but it really was. It came out of that dinner. Yes. Like, you didn't have a game plan.
Starting point is 00:06:23 I did not ever. Why would I want to cry? Like, I didn't want to cry. I wanted to get along with everybody. But I do think it's like, Unfortunately, that is my personality, and I am like, you ask me a question and I'll just tell you the insane truth. I don't care if I met you three seconds before or 10 years. Would you say you're an oversharer?
Starting point is 00:06:40 Yeah, I'm a total over-emotional person. So it was like, here's my personality. Like, I gave everybody a hard dose of it and was like, this is what you can expect all summer. This is who I am. But I think, I mean, that's what makes you, you. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes those first dinners can be also so overwhelming that people don't say anything where you were able to shine and stand out. When you hear someone go through a breakup and like the vivid detail of what you of that,
Starting point is 00:07:04 I'm sure my past, I know I've done fucked up weird shit, but like that sounded like another level. How are you feeling about all of that now? I was still way too emotionally attached to it over the summer and I really did let it go over the summer. Do you fully think you got closure from this? Yeah, like I couldn't accept it. Like it had literally been two years and I just like would not accept it. I still was like, I'm going to figure out how to like I could fix this. And I've tried to be friendly.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I've tried to like tie it up with a bow. I don't know that that is ever going to happen. I think where you're better off just not talking and having nothing to do with each other. But like I wish him the best. But I finally just like accepted that life has moved on. Now in the last two years, you've been single. Yes. Have you like as I can relate to being single for the last two years?
Starting point is 00:07:52 And it took me a year to like feel comfortable, confident to like actually even take a look at other people and want to date. other women and like have you been getting out there i mean i know you and i've had some fun flirtation which we're going to get into i've gone on dates i've had like little things that's like nothing that lasts more than two three weeks like just little like flings the idea of it turning into the person being my boyfriend freaks me out and i am so is that because of previous boyfriends and how like things have gone yeah i think yeah so you have your guard up and you're like trusting someone and feeling comfortable i personally feel never trust someone again but i don't think that that's like necessarily the case, but still as of right now, it feels like I'll never trust someone
Starting point is 00:08:34 again. But by the way, give yourself some grace. Like when you were going through that situation, I mean, a lot of women, I'm sure, relate to this story and men too. But like, that's not, I think, a pretty normal thing that can go on in a relationship where he was cheating on you. He cheated at the end. He was more so just really fucking mean, just like my biggest hater in the world. Yeah, and that's like, that's a difficult thing. dynamic to be in. Yeah, it was definitely traumatizing. It was definitely confusing.
Starting point is 00:09:03 It still takes time to unwind all of that, I think, what I'm getting at. And like two years after, like, I think even the dinner conversation you had, like, maybe there's some of that you need to just get it out so you could like really move on more. Yeah. I do think the summer, like, just being in that situation with so many people and I talk about it a little bit, but like I just hadn't, I didn't live with guys. I wasn't around guys. I wasn't around men.
Starting point is 00:09:26 So after this breakup, you basically were like, fuck men. I'm not hanging out with them. I'm going to do my thing, focus on my business and my podcast. And then here you jump into the summer house. Yes. Other than like random hookups of like the most random hookups, there was nothing. Like no guy had stepped foot in my apartment. You never really lived in a house with men before like that?
Starting point is 00:09:47 Not since like. I never even thought about them. No, I lived with my ex. We broke up as we know at Sweet Green. He gave me the keys. He left. Moved to L.A. that day. Never came back.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Another man did not step foot in my house for two. So what was that like first night like where you're like, I can't believe there's like a bunch of like West and Jesse are upstairs? You guys are so sweet and like fun and brotherly. It wasn't like I was like triggered. I just was like. It's an adjustment. Overwhelmed by not even just guys just like the sheer amount of people. It was the most men we've had. Well, dare I say men, boys and men that we've ever had in the house. I don't know. It just freaked me out. I just had like a I had a brief moment. I got over it so quickly. but just that first night I just was like, what did I get myself into? What's going on? This is so many people. Is that why you and Levi wanted to stay in the same room?
Starting point is 00:10:33 No, we just wanted to have a slumper party. I just left her. There was that whole other bed that got. I could never not sleep right next to her. Like there was just no reality we were going to be in that. It didn't matter if there were eight open rooms. We would have slept in the same room and the same bed. What was your favorite moment from last summer in the house? It's definitely like a Levi and me moment. We had like great little time. I mean, in the trailer, the shrimp, I'm just going to eat shrimp and die alone. I feel like that might be the best quote of the something, one of the best ones.
Starting point is 00:10:56 I got confronted about something. And then I was talking to you and you were like, we were trying to have a conversation and then some girl walked up, like some blonde girl walked up and like pulled you away. And I was like, I give up on this. I can't even handle it. I'm like this one girl just yelled at me. I'm trying to talk to him.
Starting point is 00:11:12 You're like the person I'm most comfortable with. Ben came in with his new girlfriend that it was like a shocker because nobody knew about her. I didn't know about her and Levi didn't know about her. Dara's now in the house. And I'm like, I just want to talk to my people. So I'm trying to talk to you and Levi. Levi gets pulled away from me.
Starting point is 00:11:27 You get pulled away from me by some girl. And then I went in the kitchen and started shoving my face with hors d'oeuvre. Because I was like, I can't fucking deal with this. Oh, man. And then you're like, I'm sorry, are you mad? I was like, I'm not mad. I just, I can't handle this. I just want to go hide.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I want to go eat shrimp. So after that first weekend, did you have any, like, what the hell did I get myself into? A million. I had that every weekend. I almost didn't come back every weekend. A couple weekends in, I think we started to notice that it was definitely becoming, you know, it was overwhelming and there was a lot of anxiety.
Starting point is 00:11:54 And sure, someone was tied. to other people in the house. Some of it's just all these cameras and lights and did I say something and do something. How was that going back like during the week back to like It Girl? I call it coming back down from outer space. That's what it felt like. Like you're like out of an orbit and all of a sudden you're like planted back and you like wake up in your bedroom Monday and you're like, is there cameras in here? Yeah. It's I had so many nightmares that I cameras were in the room. I had so many nightmares. Do you ever feel like you were still mic'd up? Yes. Oh my gosh. All the time. Me and Levi would face time each. We'd face each other every day and we would
Starting point is 00:12:24 FaceTime each other in the morning and I'd be like, like, it was just always, I was like, oh my God. And I, it is. I like struggled with coming back down to earth. I struggled. I would need to sleep for like two days when I would get home. I was like, I cancel everything Monday and Tuesday. I normally meet with my manager on Mondays. I was like, we're meeting on Wednesdays now. I can't speak to anyone on Monday. I just needed a break. It's so many people. I'm just not used to having conversations with 10 castmates. It's just so much conversing in people. It's like it's like stimulation overhead. And you don't like need your like your social battery to recharge you're not sleeping very well because kyle's DJing downstairs at 4 in the morning Friday and Saturday so it's like I'm like I haven't slept I've just talked
Starting point is 00:13:04 to 700 people had a thousand conversations yes I like I can't remember and it's like you're having a thousand conversations and you don't know which one of those conversations are going to follow you for the rest of your life okay so as a part of you thinking after that first weekend like you were in your head like okay how that first dinner I was at were you worried about how that would come across later on I'll give me an example this season we're watching right now, the fight with Kyle at the end, about an hour after it ended, I immediately was like really down on myself because I'm like, I'm going to look really bad. I flipped out.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I lost my cool. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen. I loved it. Thank you. It's already a meme. Is it? With your neck bulging. Everyone's like, they sit, hot Carl.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Well, when I get really pissed off, my veins. You turn into the Hulk? It's all it. I loved it. Hulk smash. Yeah, literally. Oh, man. Rosen lasagna, medium power.
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Starting point is 00:14:18 Call 16-531.2600 or visitConnecto.ca. On his podcast chasing life. I'm Dr. Sanjay Gupta. CNN's chief medical correspondent brings you the secrets of the happiest and healthiest people on the planet so that you can live your best life. Are some people just born happier than others? And what might they be doing that the rest of us aren't? Follow Chasing Life with Dr. Sanjay Gupta on Apple, Spotify, IHeard podcasts, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts. That first weekend, did you find yourself thinking, oh, shit, I should have said something different to leave?
Starting point is 00:14:55 or I wish I didn't open up like that at dinner. Did you have that feeling at all? No, I honestly didn't, this is going to, might sound stupid, but I genuinely from the bottom of my heart didn't think anything I said was ever going to like go anywhere. I just genuinely, like I believed in my soul, me crying at that dinner, no one was ever going to see it. I was like, I'm not interesting to these people.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Nobody cares. Nobody wants to know what I'm crying about. Nobody wants to hear my stupid breakup story. So to me, I just was like, oh, they'll just cut that. I really thought it would be, I thought everything I said was going to be cut out. That's a good way to go about it, though. If you just think everything's going to get cut, just be yourself and let it all fly. And I don't know how to like not be nuts.
Starting point is 00:15:32 So it's like I cry all the time. You're not nuts. Thank you. You're you. It's okay. But like, okay, now in your dating life, are you pretty open like on a first date with a guy like, hey, I've been through some shit in the previous thing. Are you cautioning them?
Starting point is 00:15:46 Maybe in the same way you kind of gave us a heads up at the table. I do have a tendency. Every time I go on a first date, my best friend will call me and she says, do not get drunk in trauma dump, do not get drunk and trauma dump. 90% of the time I get drunk in trauma dump. So yes, that first dinner is basically what a first date with me is like. But you are an emotional person. You need outlets. Do you have a therapist? No, but I probably six. But I don't have one at the moment. I have a psychiatrist who gives me Prozac, but that's it. Well, we should get into that too. We've had some amazing guests here. Life has been changed
Starting point is 00:16:15 from antidepressants? I'm on the highest dose in the house, 60 milligrams baby. And has that journey been for you? It's a little numbing for me. I don't know. How long have you been doing it? I went on it after a month after I went through my breakup. I was like, I'm not going to make it out of this. If I don't start taking something, so it was like, it got pretty dire. And I was like, I did ketamine therapy and I started Prozac. Amazing. How was the ketamine therapy?
Starting point is 00:16:35 It is fucking insane. Yeah, it seems like. I mean, my only experience with ketamine is I actually thought I was doing cocaine in a visa. And I was actually really pissed off at first. And then I felt. And then you had the time of your life. I was like, wait a second. No, it's a fun one.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Okay. You've done the antidepressant thing. You've done some ketamine therapy. I did some DBT therapy. So after that breakup, you were definitely like, you were struggling. Oh, I was bad. Like, I was in the worst point in my life. I'm glad you're sharing that because I think a lot of people go through breakups
Starting point is 00:17:02 and that month, two months is always really, really hard. And a lot of people don't know what to do. They drink or they go do other things. But I think it was important for you to, like, actually try and support your mental health because there's medications out there that are there for a reason and they do work. After like a month or two, I was like, I can't manage this on my own. I'm not getting better. Have you ever thought maybe you,
Starting point is 00:17:21 after that breakup, you were pushing things down to try and forget about it versus like, dealing with that? I got to get this. I wanted to like eternal sunshine myself so bad, so bad. Like I was like, I need to forget this. I need to like. Great movie, by the way. I want to burn a hole in my brain.
Starting point is 00:17:36 That was what I kept thinking over and over. I was like, I want to forget this. I want to block it out. I want to forget these six months. I want to forget all the grief. I want to forget all of it. Unfortunately, that isn't a thing. But like you get through it.
Starting point is 00:17:47 You do. What would you say to the Bailey Taylor from two years ago, post-breakup right now, being that you're a little bit more further removed. You're going to wake up one day and it's going to be fine. Like it's going to take a very, very, very long time. Everyone kept saying like in a couple months and I just knew in my heart like, no, this is not something I'm going to get over in a couple months. I'm devastated.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Like I've lost my friend. I've lost my grandfather. I've lost what I thought was going to be my husband. Like I am, it doesn't get worse than this. Like everything is over. My life is over. And it wasn't, but it did take me a really, really, really long time. And that was the bad advice.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I got was, oh, in six months. And I was like, no, I'm not going to be over this in six months. I know I'm not going to be over this in six months. And if people would have just been like, you know what, it might take a couple years, but you'll feel better in a couple years. And those years are going to come anyways. It might take many years. In many years.
Starting point is 00:18:35 And the years are going to come anyways. Well, you're grieving the loss of a relationship and of a connection with someone you thought you knew and trusted. And it's almost harder than like losing someone, like a death of someone because that's like the lies, the manipulation. the trauma that you've experienced because of that dating. I had panic. Like I could not process everything that had happened.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I was just having crazy. I would wake up having panic attacks. Just like could not breathe. Just crying so hard that I just like never thought I was going to stop crying again. And I just was like I was just massively fucked up by it. I just was. I mean, I think most people would be. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:12 If you can give yourself like some credit. I mean, if you were actually dealing with that in like a robotic, like I'm fine. I've got to like that would almost be crazy. If that makes any sense. I mean, if you're willing to talk a little about, like, in that relationship you're in and, like, what you experienced, did you understand what you were going through while you were in it or until after you had that really brutal, sweet green experience? Like, when you were in this kind of toxic thing and you're being treated or yelled at or abused in a way, like. It was very, very toxic. And it got to a point where it was toxic.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I think anyone who's been in a toxic relationship, it turns, I think, for the most part, toxic on both sides. It's like by the middle of that relationship, I was an asshole. Like, I was throwing shit. And he was throwing shit. And then we're throwing shit out of each other. But he was just like, I don't know. Like, he just loved breaking my stuff and just like terrifying me and just like all these things that was just like, it was like he enjoyed it and just wanted to fight all the time. And I just was like, why do you enjoy watching me just like be so upset?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Like it was like he wasn't happy unless I was upset. And I think it came from like a place of deep unhappiness where he was so much. unhappy that he wanted to watch me be that unhappy. Sometimes the most miserable people want to bring everybody down to that. And he, I don't know. I'll never know where the berating me came from because like, where there's substances involved in this? Not at all. He does not touch alcohol. He doesn't touch drugs. Wow. Did you ever any friends say, hey, listen, like, Bailey? Yes. Yes. I, my best friend stopped speaking to me. I still haven't spoken to her. Because of you being with this guy. Yeah. She was like, if you're going to choose him. We're not friends anymore. Yeah. She stopped speaking to me.
Starting point is 00:20:48 A lot of people didn't want to talk to me. My family was upset with me. My family was upset with me. Mom was very upset. Because your friends knew that this guy wasn't. Yeah. He was at my house with my dad in the other room just absolutely screaming at me. And once he got going, like, it did not matter what I said. It was like, I'm going to be in a 45-minute time out. There's no way out of it.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Did you ever tell your parents about this? They heard it. They saw it a little bit. My mom heard it a lot. Did they have a voice concerns? Yes, yes. He called my mama cunt as well. She did not like that.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Yeah. What? Mm-hmm. On the phone. I mean, there's certain words we don't say. He called me that every day. I was so, like, numb to it. See words like unbelievably.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Every day. You can maybe say that if you're from London and telling your mates on a soccer field. But like outside of that. You would call me that in public all the time. I was like, I don't think people are hearing this. I didn't realize how bad it was until like my neighbor said something. And we're like, oh my God, we just hear the screaming. We hear, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Like I hear him screaming. I hear him throwing things. I hear you crying. I hear you yelling. I hear this. When you're in it and you love this person. There's something about him that obviously there was elements of like the love or the connection that you felt. But then obviously there's all these other negative things.
Starting point is 00:21:53 And you have other people in your life now expressing concern. I mean, I've have friends that have, I've expressed concerns. It's a tough spot because like when that person is so in it and in love, you kind of like, you want to let them figure it out on their own. But you had multiple people kind of recognize and a friend who distanced herself from you because of this. Did that give you any kind of like idea? Like maybe this isn't the right thing? I feel like this isn't going to be surprising. but I was 1,000% like, I'm going to stay with him forever. I'm going to marry him. I don't care if he's mean.
Starting point is 00:22:22 I don't care how bad it is. I don't care what happens. I am staying with him forever. And if you don't like it, you're out. You almost, I mean, there's a term like the Stockholm syndrome. That's, I, yeah. It's almost like you become obsessed and in love with the person who treats you the worst. I was obsessed, like really believed if I tried harder, he would be nicer.
Starting point is 00:22:39 He was always, if you just act like this, if you could just listen to me. You just need to listen to me. Why don't you listen to me? If you just listened and did what I said, it wouldn't be like this. You just can't listen to me. And I would like try and try and try. To this day, if I called him right now, he would be like, if you had just listened to me, that is his like still to the state.
Starting point is 00:22:55 If you had just listened to me and be friends. Who the fuck is this guy? What is he like some old ball knower and like has? Yeah, I don't know. He used to say the same thing to his ex-girlfriend because I did want to be friends at one point because I was just like, we were like so connected. But there was, it's just. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:07 So this is, I think that what I'm getting at and I'm curious because I've been through a pretty big breakup where someone I was very close to as a friend first since breaking up with Lindsay. I've missed that friendship. Yeah. And this past summer, I kind of see it a little bit. Is that an element of what's going on with this? 100%. I see a TikTok and I'm like, oh, like, and we loved me. No, not. No, he's got me blocked on everything. Okay. He had me blocked most of our relationship because he didn't want me on his stuff. He blocked you during your relationship? He did not like me in his business. That was like a big fight.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Like he was his own person and he did not want me up in his business. What a shady bastard? He never posted his ex-girlfriend. They were together for eight years. He posted me at least. So like, but eight years he never posted her. That would like fuck with my brain so much. Just so clearly weren't meant to, like, we weren't meant to be. If you put two of us together and it ends in a room being destroyed and me crying, those two people that just were not meant to be put in a room together. And that's okay. We're just not meant to be.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah. I really very deeply accepted it. I wish we could be friends, but there's no point. I don't know why I wish we could be friends. I think that's still like me hanging on to something. I don't think there's any point in us being friends. And I don't think, like, if we can't get along, we just don't get along. Like, we just don't.
Starting point is 00:24:12 We just don't respect each other. Well, I mean, based on some of the trauma and stuff from the past, I would, it would be hard to unravel that. And I think something you've talked about is like, I mean, the relationship abuse that isn't as obvious. Can you talk to us a little bit about that? Like the putting down the negative talk, maybe the yelling or screaming. Yeah. Like I think if other people experienced that level of yelling and screaming, like, I don't know. I grew up in a yelling household. Like, I just think there's people who are like, that's what they're used to being around. It doesn't scare me or anything. See, I had a lot of screaming because of my brother and stuff, but
Starting point is 00:24:42 my mom. It may be hates that conflict. I could sit in it. Like, I was the most unfazed. Literally a summer house dinner and foods flying over the table. I'm like, I'm sitting here eating my foot. It does not. It doesn't phase you. Faze me at all. So him screaming at me never faced me. Him screaming at me in public never fazed me. I would scream back. Us getting a screaming matches. Didn't bother me. Didn't, I didn't even think anything of it. It was just like I would tell him like the deepest, most personal insecurities. And he'd use it and come back and I'm like I have never in my life had someone call me ugly and fat 20 times a day like that is just crazy and I it would just like anything I would say like oh I don't feel like I look good
Starting point is 00:25:23 in this I know two hours later he's going to tell me how bad I looked in it like if I said any insecurity I knew that insecurity was going to come back your parents don't love you nobody likes you nobody wants you like all this just like one man's trash is another man's treasure like just the meanest things like just constantly bullying me and picking on me. It was just exhausting. And I thought I can handle this. Like, this is nothing. This is whatever.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Like, I'm a strong person. I've been around this kind of stuff. You know that's not how you're supposed to be treated. I did not know that at the time. But how did it shape like the way you saw yourself? Oh my God. I did not know you could destroy someone's self-esteem like that. Like I did not know you could like destroy strip away.
Starting point is 00:26:05 He basically stripped away. Like I did not want to be seen in public. after that relationship. Like I was a shell, a shell. I could barely function. I would just cry all day. I would cry, go do an interview because I had to because it was the only way I had money and I had to pay my rent.
Starting point is 00:26:23 And then I would just go back home and cry. I did not want to see people. I did not want to talk to people. I didn't see friends. I didn't. But the one little thing that you had was your It Girl podcast. Which he used to film and he left and he left me with like a week of scheduled ones. And I had just started it.
Starting point is 00:26:39 And I was like, I don't know. what I'm going to do. I don't know. I don't have a videographer. I don't have money. This just started. Got myself a tripod, baby. Did it long run. I started filming it with a tripod. I was like, fuck it. I have no choice. You don't need them. Didn't need them. Wow. Replaced him with a stick. More personality and treats you better.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Literally. I had no idea some of this stuff. Honestly, I want to say for the record, he was worse to his ex-girlfriend. The one who was with him for a year. She's now one of my best friends. Yeah, but to like strip someone of their confidence and like... But he started doing it to her when she was 15. That poor girl. I love her so much and she's one of the most wonderful girls I've ever met my entire life. And I don't know how she did.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I did two years. How did you meet the ex-girlfriend? I messaged her when we broke up and was like, did X, Y, and Z happen in your relationship? Because he's always telling me that it's my fault and then I don't listen. And he told me this about you. So I'm curious. I messaged her on Facebook and I was like, I'm curious if this, this and this happened. And she was not my fault.
Starting point is 00:27:26 And then she immediately was like, I knew you were going to message me. Do you feel seen or validated at all? Oh, my God. I would not be alive if it weren't for her. Not a question. And you guys bonded over and supported each other over kind of being in this. difficult. 100%. She pulled me out of it. Would you say outside of her, I mean, it sounds like, yeah, you were struggling to get out of bed. And I think that's very relatable for people going
Starting point is 00:27:48 through a breakup and feeling the way you felt and the trauma you dealt with. I, myself, when I was going through a difficult breakup or a transition and getting sober, I leaned in on like work or like my business or sounds like you were able to take it girl and kind of direct all of this emotion and like perhaps sadness, but in a way that maybe gave you some fulfillment. It was just like the one thing that was working. And people kept asking to do it. And like I started getting more and more people and publicists. And I just was like,
Starting point is 00:28:15 people want their like clients to come on. But you're like privately feeling like shit. Well, everybody's like Bailey. I like your podcast. I can't tell you how many old videos I see now. Like I'll cry talking about it because I just know that I was sobbing right up until they walked up.
Starting point is 00:28:29 And then I just pulled it together for the two seconds that I needed to. I would carry a little tissue in my bag. Would anybody know when you were talking about? No, absolutely not. I would bust out the tripod. I'd be like, hey girl, oh my God. I'm so excited to have you. And I would lie and I'd be like, sorry, I don't have my videographer today.
Starting point is 00:28:41 They're busy. It's just going to be a tripod. And I would just go with it. And I like figured out how to do it. But look at how you were able to be resilient and learn on the fly and just. It really kept me going. And the girls were so nice to me and I was like making friends through it. So maybe slowly you were getting that kind of retraining of like what a healthy interaction and talking to some women.
Starting point is 00:29:01 So many of those poor women had to listen to me. Be like, so I'm going through the worst breakup of my life. Did you talk about? It depends on like how much I bonded with the girl. but sometimes I would be like, I'm really going to try not to cry during this, but like I'm not well, and I'm having a really bad time.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So I just need five minutes. But that's where I feel like women are so gifted at like helping and supporting because they can connect on so many levels. There was a woman who was one of the it girls who I love so much to this day. She was like, there's a witch shop right down the street. I need you to go two down.
Starting point is 00:29:29 She's like, this is what you need to buy. We're going to cast some spells. You're going to go home. You're going to light this candle. You're going to do this thing. And I was like, thank you. Did it work? I cast a lot of spells.
Starting point is 00:29:36 And I am healed now. Really? Can you cast a good spell here? No, I need I need candles. And I need to really be in it. Okay. Yeah. We'll put that at the end. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:47 I want to do some more spells. I'll cast some spells for you. Good spells. Yeah, only good. I don't do, we don't do bad magic. My mom owns a witch shop in Seattle. We don't do bad magic. I'm going to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Yeah. Is your mom a witch? Mm-hmm. Like certified? I don't know. I don't think you get to certification. I don't think there's like, she didn't go to Hogwarts, but like she didn't graduate, but she doesn't own a witch store in Seattle and Pike Place Market.
Starting point is 00:30:08 So she owns a witchcraft store. Yes. In Seattle. Yes. Do you remember the magician we had at the Renaissance Fair Party? Yes. He was pulling some interesting magic. He was legit.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Yeah. The ladies loved him. Yeah, we had to pay for him, though. He was expensive. I could have done it. All good. Amazon presents Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the orange one.
Starting point is 00:30:32 For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flame thrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like habanier, yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Welcome aboard Via Rail.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Please sit and enjoy. Please sit and stretch. Steep. Flip. Or that. And enjoy. Via Rail. Love the way.
Starting point is 00:31:08 I want to keep going on like the relationships stuff you were dealing with in trauma and like how it shows up for you now. Because I think, I mean, just as your friend and someone I've seen the situation with Ben, I wasn't there that weekend. And if you're okay, talking a little bit about some of it again.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I just want to say for the record, I was never obsessed with Ben. It just really came together in a way that appeared that way, but it was, I was never obsessed with Ben. Never. It was fun watching you and Levi come into the house and have all these like outward,
Starting point is 00:31:34 oh, he's cute. Like it was just different energy that I think we, needed as a group and I love that you just thought he was hot but you were just carefree and being girls and like yeah Ben's hot whatever and like we both were saying it all the time and I'm like it's just being used of me saying it but like Levi was saying it too and I'm like if we seriously actually gave a shit about him why would we like if she liked him I would never say that if I liked him she would never say that's what girls and guys do and like a big group like when you're all hanging out
Starting point is 00:31:58 it's like oh that girl's hot and like it's fun flirty banter but I think over time it kind of made it just seemed like I was obsessed so for the record I wasn't obsessed I wasn't watching him. I've never stalked him. And I got accused of that. And I, fly, fly, Ben, like, it may be separating from Ben, but it's just the situation itself. Like, you and Ben had an uncomfortable disagreement in fight. I know, you know, you said some things you maybe didn't really mean. And he said some stuff and was uncomfortable by what you said. And, like, removing him from this, the past you've been through, like, did that, it brought up feelings and emotions. Can you talk about, like, what that's like when two years prior, you were in a
Starting point is 00:32:35 difficult dynamic, but now you are happy, single, seemingly, and then you get into a disagreement and it brings up all of that. It wasn't like anything specific that he did. And I've said a hundred times and I will always say he was not physically aggressive. He was not intimidating. He was not, like, in my face. He was not, it was just uncomfortable. Yeah, it was just uncomfortable. And he was so clearly reprimanding me. And it was like that, like I said, I knew if I got in trouble with my ex, it was going to be a 45 minute timeout and I was going to have to sit there and I was going to get reprimanded. And I knew, oh, the next two hours of my life were going to be hell. And it doesn't matter what I say, he's just going to go.
Starting point is 00:33:09 And so it was like that feeling all over again of like being reprimanded. And at first, I was like, I need to stop this. I don't think, I don't know if it was in it because I could barely watch it. But I like, at one point, like put my hand up and I was like, okay, okay, let's stop. But he didn't want to stop. He wanted to keep. And I wasn't even letting him speak. I wasn't even letting him like get it out.
Starting point is 00:33:26 I do think he went on for way too fucking long about it and should have let it go after. I apologized. But I wasn't even giving him the chance. Like I just wanted it to stop. Yeah. to be overweight. Immediately. I was like, okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry, okay, okay. And then I was like listening to him and I was like, defend yourself, defend your, why are you like letting this go? Why? And then I was like, okay, I'm actually trying to apologize to you and you're kind of being a dick. So like, it just like, at
Starting point is 00:33:48 first, my first reaction was like crumble, roll into a ball, say sorry and just like, that's what you're done. That is what I had done. And I was like, make this stop, make this stop. And I could feel that I was going to cry. And I just like, where do you feel it when you're feeling. Because I feel my body will tell me. Yeah. It's your body. feel it in like my throat. Stomach. Yeah, my stomach, my chest. Like I start to like, I, and I feel the tears just come.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And I was like, and I really didn't want to cry in front of him because I was like, no, I'm not called. I didn't know he made me cry. No. And so I was like, and I also didn't want to, people didn't agree with this, but I also didn't want to be like, I didn't want to play victim. I didn't want to start crying and then be like, oh. Yeah, then everybody's going to feel sorry for you.
Starting point is 00:34:28 I wanted to like face it and be like, no, we're in an argument. This is healthy confrontation. I just had not had any. of healthy confrontation, especially with a guy. I don't even know the last time I had a healthy confrontation with a guy. So it was like every fight was a blow up, a streaming match of this, that that. It was just like terror. Like I said, I don't hang out around men.
Starting point is 00:34:45 My friends really aren't guys. They are now, but they weren't at the time. And so I just was like, oh my God, this man's reprimanding me. And then I was like, no, fuck this guy. I don't have to listen to this. I don't have to listen to him. I don't have to force myself to feel sorry. At the beginning of this, it brought up that past where you kind of had to maybe just,
Starting point is 00:35:02 I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, like bow down. versus like you have your feelings and your emotions too and you're allowed to share those. And I was sorry and I am sorry. But I was like, oh. And I just like kept putting my hands up and I just like kept doing this. And then I was like, what are you doing? Like take a step back from him. Like I started like leaning against the dresser because I was like, wait, take a second.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Like just distance it and like calm down and actually are you saying what you mean? Then I was like, okay, I apologize. You can like let it go now. Just move on. Yeah. But then I did cry. Do you still find it hard to trust others? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:36 I think I'll be single for still a long time, unfortunately. That's not true. You will find someone when the universe is ready for you. The universe has your back. It's something I like to subscribe to. I want to subscribe to that. And look it. You've been able to, your podcast is flourishing.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Congrats on the Iheart radio edition. But yeah, I want to talk more about the podcast. But I just, I want to keep going. Keep going. This is more of a personal question for you about me. Oh. What would you want someone like me? or men in general
Starting point is 00:36:04 to understand about how trauma can show up in a partner or friend men specifically for this situation like I've had moments where I've screamed and yelled and not proud of how I've reacted but I'm curious for like moving forward I want to be a better version and continue to like show up for women
Starting point is 00:36:21 and anybody I'm dating what would you say to like this might be the question that makes me cry how can someone truly show up for their friend or partner I would say I think of you in a different light than I think of other men because you're very self-aware and you're very sweet and you're very caring. I wasn't always this way though. Yes. And I've heard that. I've heard that. And I totally
Starting point is 00:36:42 respect when I met Lindsay, we had like a three-hour conversation about your entire relationship in the car because I was like, I see how you are now. Like what if my ex goes out and becomes the greatest man in the world and he's the best husband in the world and then nobody ever believes what I said. You know what I mean? That's such a Bailey thing to say right there. I feel like that is such a. But like, I told her that. I was like, you know, I don't want to ever like discount your experience or like what you've known. But I'm like, but this is like the nicest man I've ever met who is just like so sweet and so caring, goes so above and beyond to like check on me. And I just adore him. But that's my experience.
Starting point is 00:37:11 But I recognize that people who've known you have had a different experience. I think if I married a guy tomorrow and a girl came out of the woodwork and was like he was a terrible boyfriend, I'd be like, tell me all about it. It's a sister. Like I would believe them and I would have sympathy for their situation because, A, people grow and change and men learn and men suck. So that's just like a thing. But I would say for being a good partner, it's like you're already so self-aware. But it took me a while to get to that point where, you know, most men are very egotistical. And it's all about them.
Starting point is 00:37:40 And nothing can shatter that alpha macho. But then when women are being vulnerable or opening up something that may have something to do with them, it's hard for us to receive that. I'm saying it's okay. For me personally, something that like if I could wave a magic wand and my partner would understand, is like I don't do it on purpose. Like I don't like have an emotional outburst on purpose. I don't start sobbing on purpose. I don't,
Starting point is 00:38:04 when Ben's trying to just confront me and have a normal conversation with me, I don't mean to crumble into a ball and then go sit in the back and cry. I can't help it. You're a human. Yeah. And you're just like, it's like you're conditioned. That's like the word I would use for you just feel conditioned.
Starting point is 00:38:20 You feel like it's like the fucking winter soldier. Like you say the words and it happens. But you're allowed to have those feelings and those emotions because of things you've been through or situations you've had. And I think that's totally valid. But like for someone in your life, whether it's a friend or a partner, what would them showing up look like for you? And I want to learn because women going through an emotional moment,
Starting point is 00:38:42 a lot of times guys are like, oh, it'll be fine, you know? I feel like guys always make me feel bad about it. Well, exactly. And that's like I don't want to do that. And sometimes I think just from what I understand is maybe sitting with the person and just giving them space to listen. Don't say anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And just like reassure them that you're not going to leave and that like it's not like freaking you out. And that's something I've related to. I think in my past relationships when some of those emotions gets very intense, I can be fight or flight. It feels like it's like it's too much to handle or. I think that's how guys are. Yeah, because sometimes we're not equipped to deal with emotions just because of unfortunately how a lot of men and boys are kind of taught at a young age, which is you suppress those feelings. You bury it. You're tough.
Starting point is 00:39:22 You're strong. But I appreciate being more open about. those feelings. And I hope the more we have these conversations, the more we can maybe influence or help other men. Just like, I don't know, like, stick around. Like, just let people know, like, I... Guys want to fix shit. Yeah. And when we don't know how to fix it, we don't know what else to do sometimes. And I think, like, for something like, you know, what you're going through. And I don't, I mean, even after the Sweet Green story, you told me, I know we had many other chats where I felt very safe with you. And I also felt like I could talk to you. But you provided this similar kind of
Starting point is 00:39:52 space that I hope to provide someone in dealing with some of these, you know, uncomfortable topics. But you gave me that space, which I appreciate. Life is hard. Like, it's just like is. It's just hard. And if I don't care if I was like walking down the street and a random person needs to talk to me about something, I'm like, oh, I get it. Have you had some girls message you? Yeah. Let's talk about that for a second. You share this story. You've opened up about these really difficult things. And I know it's not easy. But at the same time, is there any part of you that gets a little bit of fulfillment and just feeling like you're doing some good because 22-year-old girl watching Summerhouse relates to Bailey and thinks she's similar to you. It has also been through something similar.
Starting point is 00:40:32 I get so much fulfillment out of it. And I love the women who are like, I was with a narcissist for 10 years. Don't let a man talk to you like that. And I'm like, yeah, girl. I'm like, mm-hmm. See, but isn't that the beauty of what we get to do? And yes, is uncomfortable and weird. It can feel at a dinner to open up to a bunch of people that just met you. look at what the impact you've made eight, nine months later with people who watch Summerhouse now because they love you. And the women who are like, they've told me the stories of their breakups and I read the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:41:01 I don't care if it's like six paragraphs. I will read the entire thing. One woman told me about she like lost a pregnancy. Her husband left her. He was cheating on her. She told me that like this whole story and she was like, and I just didn't think I was going to survive. But I did.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Does that bring you back to your feelings of trauma? Because I'll give an example. Like when people reach out to me about a death of a death of. a sibling or passing or sometimes reading those stories. Yeah. I stopped thinking about them and I started thinking about my shit again. I think when death is very different because I feel like I don't think it ever hurts less when someone dies.
Starting point is 00:41:33 When you go through a breakup, it hurts less later. So now when I'm reading it, like if it had been a loss that I was talking about, I think I would feel the exact same way I did the day that they died. Sure. But I don't feel the exact same way I did that the day we broke up. So now when I read it, it doesn't take me back to it. But you are, you're helping people. And I think.
Starting point is 00:41:48 I hope. You are. And I think giving, you know, that perspective of what you've been through, I'm telling you, it's going to continue to proliferate through this season. And that I hope you can find some solace. Because I know it's not easy. Yeah. I do think there is a language and a feeling and an understanding that only someone who's been in a really traumatic relationship can understand.
Starting point is 00:42:13 So even when I say things and it just like, I'll say a small comment and it'll tip everybody to be like, oh my God, you're so dramatic. like you're so this, you're so that every single woman that's like, oh, I did a guy exactly like that. I knew exactly how you felt. I started crying watching that. I started crying seeing him say that to you. This made me cry when you said that. I saw the look on your face. I know that look. And I'm like, you understand it in a way no one, no one else will understand. And I'm okay with that. I don't need to be understood by everybody, but like people saying, you can't use the word yell, you weren't yelled at. And then everybody else is like, that is, I know exactly
Starting point is 00:42:43 how you felt when he was talking to you like that. And I know exactly what it feels like to be reprimanded by a guy like that. And someone, when someone does it, to you all the time. It is just like the most sickening feeling. And it's no fault to him, no fault to Ben at all. But like I just know that when they're messaging me, I'm like, you know exactly what I was talking about and you know exactly how I felt. And no one else will. And that's totally fine. Does that give you any kind of healing? Yes, majorly, majorly. Because I'm just like, my girl knows what I'm talking about. So I think that's hopefully the healing that sometimes you don't expect to get from being a part of what we do. And like, I don't think when you signed up and
Starting point is 00:43:16 joined us last summer, you had any idea that you would. be responding to messages about your speaking break. No. I honestly didn't think I was going to talk about it. Exactly. I was hoping I wouldn't talk about it, let alone talk about it every five minutes. I mean, do you think the cameras made some of those moments harder? Or what was that like for you being so vulnerable? I just was trying so hard to talk about it often to try to do good, but it just did not come
Starting point is 00:43:38 off that way. Like, it just comes off like I couldn't shut up about it. I just spill it and spill it and spill it. So I'm like, I'm over it. I think we've talked about it enough. Well, yeah, I mean, I think you recognize some patterns. Yeah. But you're also, I mean, you're a human being.
Starting point is 00:43:51 You walked into a house of a bunch of Yahoo's that have known each other for 10 summers and some who've just joined. I really applaud you for what you did. I think you should feel good about it. Thank you. For a period of time on this show, I've talked a lot about sobriety, mental health. And I feel like that's kind of all I get known for. And I feel like with you, there's so much more to Bailey Taylor besides, like, this sweet green moment
Starting point is 00:44:11 and the trauma you've had from your past relationship. But like, what's that like putting that all out publicly? And then you're a dynamic person. You have this incredible podcast. You're in fashion. You travel. You've gone to Paris Fashion Week. How do you like separate kind of what the public person is at you and then where you kind of really are?
Starting point is 00:44:27 I mean, it doesn't bother me. I understand what you're saying is like you've become known for like this thing. Like pieces of things. Yes, pieces. But yeah, you're not just a sober guy. Correct. You're so much more than that. Like I'm so proud of that.
Starting point is 00:44:41 But sometimes I feel like I get put it in the box. Yeah. The only reason I think it doesn't bother me is because whether people, you're not. see it or not the entire intention of it girl was just to like be a light fun cute thing for girls to do where they talk about their clothes and it really came from me watching the horrible like magazines and the way women were ripped to shreds and the weight and the eating disorders and everything in the early 2000s and watching that and just seeing the way that the media spoke to women about women e e true hollywood stories project runway america's next step model like it was just so toxic. Horrible. I've been seeing some of the stuff. I love America's Next Model.
Starting point is 00:45:21 I'm sorry. I really love that show. I love that show. Me and me, but I love that show. I don't think I realized how toxic it was. It was horrible. Like, it was horrible.
Starting point is 00:45:27 And just the way women have always just like, look with Britney Spears. Like I remember watching that in Paris and Nicole and watching it and just being like, this is horrible. This is so sad. And so all it was meant to be is just like light and fun. So that really was already my life goal and what I wanted my life work to be is like I just want women to feel understood and I want them to feel appreciated and I want them to feel safe
Starting point is 00:45:53 and I seen and I hate that people are constantly tearing women down for being influencers for loving fashion. It's not stupid. It's what we love. Who cares? Some love it, some don't. But for the ones that do it's not dumb. I don't want it to be like, you're basic. Oh, of course you love fashion. Oh, you have a degree in fashion. Whatever. If that's what the girl likes, that's what the girl likes. How long have you been doing it girl now? Two years. Two years, a little over two years. So you basically started It Girl right when the Sweet Green Green. guy broke up. Well, I think one of the reasons he broke up with me is because he hated that I was doing it and he hated that I was so dedicated to it. And he hated that I was making money.
Starting point is 00:46:23 And look what happens now. You're crushing it with It Girl, I heart radio, all the things. Where do you want a girl to go? I don't know. I just want it to be bigger. I want to be able, for me, I want to be able to get any guest that I want. Like, I want to be able to be like, Kate Moss. Kate Moss. And Kim Kardashian. And Michelle Obama. I was going to say Michelle Obama. I would love to have Michelle. Michelle is a fan of Summerhouse from what I understand. Michelle? Michelle? Formal invite to.
Starting point is 00:46:47 be on my podcast. Come on down to. What are her hobbies? What does she like to do outside of it? Watch Summer House. I don't want to ask her about her husband being the president. I'm like, yeah, what does she love about Summer House? What does she love about reality TV?
Starting point is 00:46:56 Like, just a different angle. I like talking to people just about what brings them joy. I would love to watch you interview Michelle Obama. So what do you hope women take away from your story? Oh, see, I'll cry again. Because my friend that passed away during that time period took her own life. And I think that I don't want to speak on her story, but I think that I can only assume, based off what I know that sometimes you can get to a place where you don't think that you are going
Starting point is 00:47:22 to come out the other side. And I was in that place. I was in the exact same place as she was. And I think that's why it traumatized me and shook me so much as I was like, I know exactly how she felt. Like that could have easily been me as it was her. And just like the time period that it was in, I just was like, oh my God, that really truly could have been me that I understand what it feels like to get to that point of feeling so low is that no matter what happens. whether it's a breakup or a divorce or a loss or whatever, like you will come out the other side. You can do whatever you want. You can channel it into something. I just channeled into my work and just was like, fuck it. I have nothing else right now. I've got no friends. Nobody wants to talk to me.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Nobody wants to hang out of me because I was in that toxic relationship. My boyfriend's gone. I got nobody. My parents are mad at me. Everybody's mad at me. Everybody thinks I made a bad choice. What do I have? I had my job. So it's like whatever you have, whatever your thing is, whatever your passion is, whatever something is small that brings you joy, channel that. and just like don't give up or feel like it's not going to turn around because you have so much potential and you don't even know what you could do with it. And you are a prime example of keep fighting, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep pushing through because that that's really powerful and I love that you should that.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I want to give you like a little hand. Thank you for saying. Thanks, Carl. And I'm sorry for trying to make you cry, but I wasn't trying to be crying. I don't think a tear fell. No. The Prozac is really hitting these days. I got an up to dose.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Sierra likes to say the Prozac is prozac. The Prozac is prozacking. I got my dose up, so it's going to be real hard to make me cry. Well, I'm just, I'm so blown away by you and all the best ways. Carl, I love you so much. You have no idea. You're one of my favorite people I've ever met in my whole life. Now you're going to make me cry.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I love you. I love you. Everything you just said there is so powerful. And someone who's really tried in the last few years to like turn my some of my ups and downs into trying to really help others. You forget about some of the women and what you're talking about. And like, as a guy, like, I needed to hear this. And I want to learn and I want to become a better version.
Starting point is 00:49:15 And you've certainly helped me do that. I feel like. And I really appreciate your story and everything you're about because you have a really important story that needs to be told. I love you. So I love you too. I'm not crying. I am crying too. I wasn't trying to. But what's giving you more life right now? My amazing, wonderful friends. Like, I am having so much fun with my friends and I never thought I would have such a strong friend group. And I credit Levi a lot to this because a lot of them were her friends. I love your, you guys have it's really sweet. And there was a moment on Summerhouse where you were obviously in your fields after the Ben fight. And there was the way she
Starting point is 00:49:50 hugged you in bed. She's like, no, I'll stay with you. And it was like really genuine. She's the greatest friend someone could ever have. It was really real. But you deserve that love and friendship. But I just love seeing that. When we left each other this morning, we were, we texted immediately. I miss you. Separation anxiety. I hate being away from her. You are having fun though. Yes. And I'm having, I am having fun, which I think I lost my fun forever. And I will always say that without a doubt, Summerhouse gave me the ability to have fun again back. I had none of it. And that's why I came in crying is because there was no fun left in me.
Starting point is 00:50:20 And I was like, I don't even laugh. I don't have joy. And I got my joy back and I got my fun back. And I'm having a lot of fun. And my friends go so far above and beyond to make sure that I'm having fun and that I'm happy. It's great. Because when you're happy, you bring the energy up. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Like you add to that. Thank you. And if you're not feeling great, like sure, it may not add. But when you're really feeling great, it adds so much more. And I've seen you, like even we hung out on Friday, you and me and Levi, and then we got tacos. But then you guys went out the next night. I think Levi, like, broke her foot. I was like, these girls are having a time.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Shout out to Levi. Levi, Steve, you're the queen. Rest up your foot, Levi. We need you this weekend. She felt like a boo. It was so funny. Thank you for coming, Bailey. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:51:00 I really appreciate you being here. Really, really thoughtful and super helpful. And just respect you highly and think you're awesome. So thank you. Thank you. Love you. More life. More life.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Ladies and gentlemen, Bailey Taylor. Thank you guys for tuning into MoreLife. We'll catch you guys next time. Cheers. More Life is produced by Annie Siegel and executive produced by Adam Reynolds and denim pictures. This episode was directed by Annie Siegel, edited by Mike U.R.T and recorded at Soft Bar Studios in Brooklyn, New York. More Life is a production of Sony Music Entertainment. From Sony, our executive producers are Chris Skinner and Joanna Clay.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Original music by Function Adams. Set Design by Michael Ignacio. by Caitlin Healy. Additional support from Abby Sharp. Special thanks to Allison Shano and Joanna Orland. New episodes drop every Tuesday. We'll see you next time. Soccer fans, your chance to witness history is here.
Starting point is 00:52:57 You can win tickets to the FIFA World Cup 2026 final thanks to Visa. All it takes is a BMO Visa credit card to enter. Sign up and enter at BMO.com slash contest. Contest rules apply.

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