More Money Podcast - 174 Why You Need a F*** Off Fund - Paulette Perhach, Author of Welcome to the Writer's Life

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

Do you have a f*** off fund? You know, a bit of money you've got in a savings account for emergencies. But I'm not just talking about when your car breaks down or you lose your job. I'm talking about when you need to quit your job because you're being harassed by your boss. Or when you need to leave your abusive boyfriend and need a place to stay. I talk with the woman who coined the term for this episode, and you are definitely going to want to set up a f*** off fund after this. Long description: Before you even listen to this episode of the show, please read my guest Paulette Perhach’s article that went mega-viral — A Story of a Fuck Off Fund. As I mention in this episode, I had a very emotional reaction to her article. It was just such an amazing visual story of why we all need to take care of ourselves by having an emergency fund, so I highly recommend you read it, then listen to our chat together. I know myself and any other personal finance experts out there talk about the importance of having an emergency fund all the time, but her story really can show you how it can be a life-changer. Besides having an article that went viral, Paulette is also the new author of the book Welcome to the Writer’s Life. She writes for all kinds of major publications like the New York Times, Elle and Cosmo, and she knows first-hand how difficult it is to crack into this business as a new writer. So, if you’ve ever thought about being a professional writer, this is literally the playbook on how to get started! For full episode show notes, visit https://jessicamoorhouse.com/174. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, and welcome to Episode 174 of the MoMoney Podcast. I am your host, Jess Morehouse. Welcome back to the show. This one is rated E for explicit because my next guest, Paulette Perhatch, made this one term super famous, went viral. I'm talking about the Fuck Off Fund. So she wrote an article a little while ago called the Fuck Off Fund, or I think that was integrated into the article. Anyways, it's an amazing, amazing piece. I'm going to link to it in the show notes, so make sure to go to jessicamoros.com slash 174. It will possibly make you cry. I got a little teary-eyed after reading it because it was so real and relatable. And basically, it is kind of the story. You can kind of almost picture yourself in it where you're a person that does not have an emergency fund. It doesn't sound super crazy, but basically,

we've probably all known somebody or maybe we've been in a situation where because we didn't have a little cash on the side to get us out of a sticky situation. Well, we were in that sticky situation. So without a fuck off fund, without an emergency fund, we can't say no to people. You know, for instance, if we get harassed at a job, we don't want to really speak up because we're afraid of losing our job because we don't have any money or savings. So we can leave that job and coast for a little bit until we find the next job. That's just one example she kind of gives in her piece about it, but it's really powerful. And so we talk a bit about that. We kind of talk about her own personal finance journey, but we also talk about what it's actually

like to be a full-time writer and try to make a living. I haven't talked to too many people on the show who are kind of full-time artists, but it is damn hard. I mean, I know that firsthand just because my husband works in the music industry here in Toronto, and he works with artists all the time. And they are so passionate and in love with their craft. But it's hard to pay the bills. It's hard to make a living. but we need to support these people, and we need to really put more value onto artists and writers like Paulette, who is an amazing writer.

So she has actually just come out, published her book called Welcome to the Writer's Life. It's actually all about her life and writing. And to give you a little idea of what Paulette's background is, she's kind of a big deal. So she's been published in the New York Times, Elle, Slate, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Stylist UK, and Salon, just to name a few fancy magazines, and also a ton of newspapers. But also her book is amazing too. And I actually got to know her in person this past spring going to that retreat. I think I've pretty much had everyone from the retreat on the show. If not, I will. And she's just an amazing person. And so you're going to

love this episode because we talk about a lot of different things. It's going to get to you. We go deep in this episode. It's a very deep episode. So I know you're going to love it. But before I get to that interview with Paulette, here's just a few words about this episode's sponsor. This episode of the Mo Money Podcast is supported by FabFitFun. Have you tried out one of FabFitFun subscription boxes? No? Well, what are you waiting for? In case you don't know, FabFitFun is a subscription box service that provides full-sized beauty, fashion, fitness, and lifestyle goodies for one low price. How low? Combined, all the products in their boxes are valued at $200, but you only pay $49.99.

That means you could get a box of 8 to 10 full-size products from brands like The Honest Company, Tarte Cosmetics, Kate Somerville, Free People, Summer and Rose, and more for less than $50. Not only that, shipping is free for most US locations and just $8 for other locations like Canada. And because FabFitFun is awesome, they are offering $10 off to all Mo Money podcast listeners. Just use the promo code MONEY and get $10 off at checkout. To learn more or to get your first box, visit FabFitFun.com and use promo code money. That's fabfitfun.com and promo code M-O-N-E-Y. Thanks so much, Paulette, for joining me on the Mo Money Podcast. Excited to have you on the show. Thank you so much for having me. I am excited to chat with you again.

I know. I'm so glad that we got to meet as many of the people I've had on the show recently at the event that we went to, Stat to statement where it was just women bosses being bosses and it's funny because when you said oh yeah i'm the girl that wrote um the piece about the fuck off and i'm like oh i've read that that's cool it's like oh i don't know meets the author behind the the viral piece that went viral that's pretty cool and. And I reread it. I'm like, damn, that's some good writing. Thank you. You're welcome. That's my number one. That's what I've dedicated my life to try to be able to do is write well. And it's been, you know, a lot of years working on it. And then you realize like, oh, my writing is better. It works. I know. It's like practice does make perfect. Yeah. If i could write the fuck off fund

again i was like the i only have one regret about it i wish she was like storming out and it was like a rainy day so it could be like a play on the rainy day fund so i want to yeah i want to start off with uh the piece that you wrote um and if anyone hasn't you know read it i will put it in the show notes so you can read it because it's a must read. How did that come about? Like how did you have that idea? You pitch it to and where was it first published?

Because it went pretty much everywhere. It was first published in the Biltfold. Oh, wow. And then it's been crazy to see it go all over the world. It's everywhere. Yeah, because I'm like, I don't think that's even where I read it.

I probably read it somewhere else. Yeah, It was published and republished in the Huffington post in the New York observer and then just linked a lot to a lot of different places. So, um, yeah, it was bunkers. I was sitting there working my day job and, you know, I hadn't pitched it. I really prefer to write the full story before I send it in because I think by writing. So I don't know what it's going to be. Right. And it really just started off. It actually started off as three different funds that every young person should have,

like an amazing opportunity fund. I had a friend who got an offer to go to Italy for the summer to work, but she needed her ticket. She needed, you know, you need all this like liquid capital. Yeah. And so I, but then I like, you know, you work it, you work it, you work it. You keep doing drafts. And I decided to just focus on this one kind of structure where I tell the story in one way,

where you're a pretty typical young professional who kind of just gets a job and is like, and just gets into credit card debt and lives a little above means. And then if you get harassed by your boss or abused by your boyfriend, what that might look like if you don't have the money to get out of a situation. And then kind of retelling the story where you live way below your means, save that money, and then you have that liquid capital to get yourself out of certain situations where people have control over your resources and abuse that control. Absolutely. Why do you think, because when I read it, I had a very emotional reaction to it. I've never been in the situation of not having the fuck off fun, but I think one of my things was actually, it has always been front

of mind. And I don't know why, probably just honestly like watching TV and just like, I don't want to live that life. But I'm like, the biggest reason I think I got into personal finance is I always wanted to be really independent. I never wanted to rely on anybody else. I never wanted to find myself in a situation I couldn't afford to get out of because a lot of the people that are living beyond their means or living in poverty, a lot of it has to do with they don't have the means to get out. And a lot of people judge, well, why don't they just get a job? It's like, that's not the problem. It's so expensive to be broke. It's just like, oh, it's this whirlwind. Once you get in debt,

it's the worst. Yeah. It's just hard to dig yourself out. And so for me, I felt really like, wow, when I read it, it just felt so real. I was wondering, was that complete fiction that you just wrote based off people you know and just tidbits or did any of it have to do with your personal story? Yeah. No, it definitely was kind of a fictionalization of things that have happened to me. I was sexually harassed by a boss and just kind of looked at there trying to convince myself that it was fine because I really needed the money. And I was in a few emotionally abusive relationships,

one that went physically abusive one time and I still was just like, it's fine. And then for the first time, so I've always had a very tumultuous relationship with money and spent most of my 20s really broke, always living outside my means. And it's something I struggle with to this day. It's been so funny how I have kind of been looped into the personal finance community. And I love that. I love talking about it, but I am like right there in the, in the middle of it with everyone else. And like this year, my financial is going so shitty and I'm like, Oh my God. Um, so I got a job at a tech company,

uh, in my late twenties and really great job, totally lucked out. And finally, for the first time since being harassed in those ways, I had a few thousand in the bank and I saw how those stories would have gone if I had had that money at that time. And I didn't realize that harassment and abuse are a kind of emergency for which you need an emergency fund. Yeah. And what I love about art and its role in our human experience is that it does make you feel the lessons. I mean, art, you know, like a good story releases dopamine in your brain.

And it really is like we evolved story to stick lessons and to stick wisdom into our brains and our souls. And that's so cool. And I think that was the first time that I really felt that. And, um, you know, you can, you can write up a hundred articles about like savings rates and but when you make someone feel what it's like to be stuck without money, I think that was the power of writing and just of art. So that was really, it was a really cool experience. Yeah. And just, I felt like specifically with your writing too, it was, I mean, I read a lot of personal finance articles and stuff like that. A lot of it is just informational, but with your article, it was, you know, like you said, there's the lesson wrapped in there, but it was very visual and I'm a very visual person. And to read writing that is like,

I can see how this is all going down in the story. It was like, wow, that's really impactful. And I think that's honestly the reason why it went viral. It's like, there's so, I know there's so many women reading it and being like, oh my God, that's me. Or that could have been me, or that might be me if I don't get my shit together. So the first hint that that was going to go big was someone, some writer in New York tweeted it out and said, and tagged me and was like, so yeah, I'm sobbing at my desk right now. And I was just like, oh my God. And then like at at 10 a.m Jezebel wrote a piece about my piece and I was just sitting in my cubicle and I just like slowly turned around to my friend like I just

looked around I was like went over to my friend's desk and I was like something is happening like and they were all like I was like I was working in this, like, environmental engineering company. Oh, the blue angels are here. Can you hear them? No, but fun. Yeah. It's real fun. And, no, that's in America.

We like to fly planes around in America for fun. I understand that. Um, and, uh, so yeah. And then it just went bonkers in this way that, uh, was pretty crazy. And I told myself that I was allowed to just like sit on that for a year. I was like, okay, you're allowed to just be like to do this for a year, but don't become the chick. Who's just like, I wrote an essay 10 years ago and that's still my brand which is exactly what I'm doing right now because um it just kept coming up and I think with the um with the me too movement it just kind of became like this whole thing and so it's kind of a permanent installation now I still have a lot to say about it um I think my next book will be some kind of weird money book. And I realized

after that article came out that my last four essays had been either about class or money. So there's a lot of like weirdness there in my personal history. So yeah. Yeah. And I'd say like with, you know, I counsel clients one-on-one and most of them honestly have a lot of debt and that's why they're trying to find a solution. And also most of them, I mean, almost all of them do not have an emergency fund. And so it is a very common story. And I feel like it's, it's not like, I feel like from all the information, all the stuff that's out there, if you go on news websites, when it's talking about money, it's literally just talking about investing, savings rates, just like all the stuff you said. No one's talking about this real stuff that people are really dealing with.

I don't know why we're not talking about this. We're all talking about wealth and building wealth and look at all the money I've made. Why aren't we talking about, but you know, the kind of other side of like, I am literally at the bottom, just trying to survive here. Yeah. I mean, and there's so many other aspects of it too. I think there's a lot of parallels

to the obesity epidemic where it's all, we all put all like personal responsibility on it. And we don't talk about like, you know, the way that our brains have been hacked by companies who know exactly what humans respond to. I mean, we're not machines. We are these like weird meatbags running an operating system that's like 100,000 years old. And so I'm really interested in

evolutionary psychology and behavioral economics. Dan Ariely is super cool. And I also read this amazing book called Brandwashed by Martin Lindstrom. It's about neuromarketing, which is crazy. I mean, literally, if you want to feel like a robot who's reading her own manual, that book. So what's the book go in depth about? So basically just how they are putting humans into like MRI machines and showing ads and seeing like what part of your brain lights up.

Yeah. For example, if you are shown the logo of a brand that you're very passionate about, like Apple or Harley Davidson, the same part of your brain lights up as when you look at a religious symbol of your religion. Oh, that's scary. That's scary.

Like the craziest thing I read about it was this mall in China. I started playing the same music over and over and incentivizing pregnant women to come to the mall. And then like a year and a half later when their babies were born, they kept playing the same music over and over and incentivizing pregnant women to come to the mall. And then like a year and a half later when their babies were born, they kept playing the same music and the moms would be like, my baby is so calm in the mall. Like when I need to calm my baby down, I just come here because I just calmed it down.

Oh my God. It's like creepy. It's so creepy. It's everything is extremely creepy right now. So there is just, there's this invisible war going on to just pull money out of us. And we don't talk about it. And we all say like,

why can't I, I mean, I have a lot of personal shame about being so shitty with money. I've sucked so bad this year with money. Like I started my blog. I'm like, I'm going to save my fuck off on this year. Oh,

fake out. I'm going to go entirely fuck off on this year. Oh, fake out. I'm going to go entirely in the opposite direction and get into debt this year again for fun. Um, but just keep coming back to like hating myself is not the answer. And, uh, just keep reexamining and redesigning my systems and taking it like easy on

myself, but not being too easy on myself. Yeah. There's like a balance. It's funny that we're talking about this. Cause I, uh, you know, this is a very common conversation I have with the clients I deal with. It's, we make a plan and then it's just the after work is like implementing the plan. It's like, it is just numbers. If it was that easy, everyone would be doing it, but it's not because shit happens in our lives. You know, stressful situations, situation where you're like, you know what, I just don't, I just can't, I just cannot deal with another thing on my plate. Totally get that.

And so, yeah, like you said, it's like, it's about not beating yourself up because you're a terrible person because, oh my gosh, you got into debt or you can't stick to your budget. You're the worst, which I feel like sometimes that's the messaging from a lot of people, not like, you know, that blatant, but a lot of it is just like, oh, well, just stop spending. It's like, if it was that easy, we would all not like, like we wouldn't be in this situation. Like that's just not the issue, but also not being too easy on yourself. So you just kind of coast because that's not going to better. It's basically like for me when I think about it, like sometimes I feel guilty for not having ever really been that bad with my money. But again, it's like circumstance is a lot to do with it.

My parents were always very, very conscious of their money because they were raising three kids that were very young. They had no money and they needed a fetus. So they were very conscious of like, okay, we need to make this work. And so we were frugal. Well, that's your skill then. Yeah. So that's, so I learned that. And so it was easy to integrate that when I was an adult.

But if you learn something different, if your circumstances were different growing up, that's a hard habit to break after like 20 years of being like, Oh no, I just spent money. Cause that's what my parents did. And now I don't understand that I can't do this anymore. Cause it's not working for me. Like, it's just, it's not that easy, but it's also not, not as hard as people I think, think it is. Yeah. I've been, you know, I've, I've been making those slow changes. You know, I worked with someone who feeds herself on $65 a month. God. And I definitely, like, right now, I have, like, my tuber in my office

because I know that, like, a sweet potato is the best thing for it lasts forever. And when I'm hungry, I can just be like, I'm going to eat this instead of going to Starbucks and getting a sandwich or whatever. So breaking those habits and realizing that it's a slow process. And I, you know, I do, I am trying to make more money. I want to make good money because I do like those things. Um, so it's, it's just living within your means. And I don't, I feel, I, I feel like rain, man, because money just to me, like, does not make sense. I have no sense. I was looking yesterday because when we did yesterday because when you and I did our financial coaching together,

you gave me a spreadsheet to fill out. And I was like, I got to do it. And I was looking at my spending on my bank's app. And it said like $5,000 in January. I was like, oh my God, how did you spend $5,000? I was like, whatever. And like $4,000. And then I realized that it was all my accounts. There was like something where my spending was actually

$1,400 and I was like, Oh, okay. And then I'm like, how do I not know whether I have spent $1,400 or $5,000? Like literally there's that much of a disconnect in my brain. Yeah. And so I'm just like, you know what? I, something is missing in my brain and I'm just going to get as much help as I need. Yeah. That's what I say about it. So I will get all the coaches. I will start all the blogs, do all the podcasts, have all the accountability measures that I need to make it happen because it's worth it. And I'm, I don't know, I'm just like, yeah, not going to beat myself up about it for sucking at it. No, and it's not that you suck. It's really it is. And this is actually like something that I learned when I was training to become a financial counselor is the people that you will work with canceling them. It's not that they're bad with money. It's not that they're bad

people. They are actually doing the best they can with the information they have. That is it. So you are actually doing the best you can with the information you currently have and the skill set that you have. So you will do better once you have more information and develop better skills. That is it kind of simplistically. And that is very true. The reason I've been good with money throughout my adult life is because since a baby, I've been very cognizant of spending not debt. You know what I mean? I've've been good. I've since a baby, I've been very cognizant of spending, not debt. You know what I mean? Like I've built this up. I've had these skills. I've had these behaviors for so long. It would almost be hard for me to break them. Cause I actually

don't even know what that looks like. And so if you're on the other side, it's like, I know that sounds like, well, what was me? I know. I hate talking about that. I used to feel such guilt about not being a debt blogger because those at the time when I started, everyone was like, I have $50,000 in debt and I'm paying back. I'm like, I have no debt. I'm bored. I mean, it's, it's hard to talk about what you're good at. And I think maybe that's like a female thing too, you know, where it's like, I'm not good at that. No, fuck it. You're good at money. And that's why you help people with it. I'm good at writing. And that's why I help people with it. And I seek help in areas of money. I realized, have you read the willpower instinct?

No. That's a fantastic book by Kelly McGonigal. Um, she talks about, I will power and I won't power. So my, I will power to make myself do stuff is, is on point. I can make myself do shit. I can make myself go to the gym, do X, Y, Z. My, I won't power is terrible. And also the thing about I will power is that if I say like, Oh, I'm gonna make myself right today. No, I'm not going to. And I break, then I can still go back and like be like five minutes later and be like, no, I will, you know? But if you're trying to not do something like spend money, once you crack once, that's it. Right.

It's hard to get back on the bandwagon. Yeah. So, um, yeah, so that's me. So that's fine. It's a, well, again, like, and I say this to everybody, money, just like, you know, I always kind of relate it to fitness because they're very, very similar. It's like, it's a cumulative. It's not like, you know, for me, I used to beat myself up when I'd be doing kind of a workout program and I'd miss a couple

of days and be like, well, I guess I'm done. Like I have to start from square one. I have to start from the workout number one, not number 20, because I missed two workouts. That is literally the worst thing you could do. Cause then you'll always be going back to square one. You'll never be moving forward. And that's the same with money. It's like, if you mess up once, fine. Just be like, okay, messed up acknowledging Acknowledging. We'll try to do better. Let's continue down the course. But that's also like a skill set that you have to, you just have to, it's, and that really comes down to, I think, with being like confident in yourself and just knowing that you can continue. It's easier to throw in the towel. But like going back to kind of the whole, like, you're like, I just don't get money. Like real life example. I've always been ashamed because in the past, I wasn't as knowledgeable about investing as like lots of my, you know, male finance friends. And they talk and I'd be like, uh-huh. I don't know what that is. I have to look that up later.

And so I'm like, okay, well, this isn't something they were born with. They just learned how to do it. And maybe they just have a better knack for picking up that information than me. I just have to work a little bit harder for it to sink in. Well, I've been working. Then I put a really big goal on myself. I'm like, I'm going to make an investing course. Why not? And so I've been researching like crazy. Literally, there's a pack of textbooks right next to me. And the other day, I was talking to my husband about um something investing he's like you know what's so crazy like all this like a couple years ago was like gibberish to me and now i'm like i totally get it he's like that's what education is called like that's what learning is i'm like oh yeah learning it like sometimes it seems so

like impossible and then there's like one thing you read one thing and then it just clicks. You're like, oh my God, I get it. So it really is just about, you know, like you, it's like owning your shit and then just keep on going. And that's what you're doing by talking about it. I'm going to like give myself a freelancer MBA this year. So I have to like just have my book launch this month. Yeah. And then I have 12 books. And I made a course list on lynda.com. And so I just need to like,

understand how business works, because that's what I'm doing. And no wonder I'm failing at it. And I really like as an artist, I want to put all my education into learning more about writing and practicing my craft. But I got to just pause that and be like business. Like that's where I'm struggling right now. And, and that's where I need to focus my time. If I want to keep doing this as a business. A hundred percent. And that's the hardest thing to be an artist is to basically acknowledge that in this world that we're living in, if you want to make a living off your art, you have to also be a business person, which is it's hard. Most artists don't.

They just want to focus their art. I got that. That sucks. I mean, sometimes I feel like a total like traitor because I went to film school. I went to like a super artsy film school. I wanted to be a super artsy filmmaker. And I work in finance. I'm a total sellout.

But I mean, if you like what I'm doing, I'm happy with it. Yeah. And yeah, I'm still creative in a way but anyways enough about this i want to talk about your the book that you are coming out with which i loved i think it's amazing i don't think there's another book out there quite like this is called welcome to the writer's life uh how did you get the idea for this and what's it about? So I basically am lucky. Seven years ago, I moved to Seattle and realized I live six blocks from a writing center, which I had no idea what a writing center was. Me neither.

So for the first time in my life, I had kind of a writing community. It was basically this place that had classes and readings and super fun. I was like, oh, my God, I love this. I'm sitting in there right now, actually working out of the building. And I had been trying to be a writer for a few years by myself. And it was it was really hard when I was just in my mom's downstairs bedroom like after Peace Corps where I landed totally broke and sad um and uh so I realized all the things you learn when you get to be around other writers and I kind of wanted to put that into a book yeah and say here's how it works if you're in Nebraska and you don't have a writing center, here's what I know from the people I'm around. So it's very much what you need to know most and what you need

to know first. So I was in a beginning writing class and someone came in and was talking about how to negotiate a book deal and even giving out the phone number of a lawyer she knew. And I just thought we didn't really need that right then. We needed to focus on craft and making a life out of trying to be a writer, which I wasn't even anywhere close to having a book deal. So I also had situations happen where, you know, I was three, four years in and someone would mention, Oh, have you ever been to this conference? I'm like, what conference? You know? So it's really a way to just connect people with a lot of the resources out there. I call it freshman orientation for new writers. It's just

like, listen, here's how everything works. And so the sections are your writing craft, your writing business, your writing practice, and your reading practice and your, and your writing life. So just kind of like a comprehensive view of all the aspects of being a writer. Yeah. And what kind of, like when you say a writer, I guess, like what does that exactly mean? Because I know some people are like, oh, does that mean like books? Does that mean writing for like, you know, a publication? Like what does that mean really?

So I really focus on people who just want to make the craft of making things with words a part of their life. And there's a lot of overlap between someone who wants to be a poet and someone who wants to be a screenwriter. It's really about how do you figure out how to put a lot of time into this without making money at it at first for sure. And maybe not ever. So it focuses a lot on the basics that apply to almost any kind of writer. Like I can't think of a kind of writer unless you were like, I literally just want to be a technical writer who works at a tech company and writes manuals. Like maybe this isn't the book. It's more for creative writing. Yeah. It's creative writing for sure. Yeah.

And just so people know, it's like you really are the expert in this because not only did you write that piece that went viral, but you write for a lot of major publications, New York Times, I don't know, some pretty fancy, fancy things. Fancy, fancy stuff. I am an expert at beginning to be a writer I felt comfortable with that for sure and so now I'm kind of in the middle and it's fun it feels nice like I remember seeing people with bios like that just feeling like it was impossible to cross over to that you know um and so it really is it's about going from wanting to be a writer to working to be

a writer and that is what will get you there I looked for a shortcut for years like yeah I'm a recovering lazy person and I really just wanted things to come very easily to me in my early 20s I did not want to work for anything um so I had to go live in in Paraguay for a few years doing uh volunteering with Peace Corps to be like oh yeah I think I might be an entitled piece of shit. And maybe I should work a little harder. And maybe I'll get what I want. You know what I almost feel like because I have a similar story. I mean, I was not in Paraguay for two years. I was in Gambia for two months. But that really did give me the shock to the system to be like, oh, my God, I think I'm like a privileged, you know, white suburban asshole.

I think I need to, you know what I mean? Like, you just don't understand how privileged you are and how different other parts of the world are. You need to get that reality check. I feel like it should almost be a right of passage. Like, everyone should, like, volunteer abroad and just do something that's completely selfless. Like, I didn't, you know, I had to pay my own way. And again, like this was like more of a missionary trip. So I have my own reservations about that type of situation, but volunteering abroad can like really give you a good reality check. Cause then I remember coming home and being like, why are we spending money in all this stuff? Cause like there's people that

literally have no, like all they can eat is rice and fish heads, fish head rice. Yeah. And I mean, I have my own reservations about volunteering abroad too. I think the most important part is the relationships and the cultural exchange. And those people have as much to teach you and to help you with as you have to help them with. Um, and the most important part for me was the, uh, was the relationships that I had there. my host mom I just like I loved her like she has a VIP penthouse in my heart um and and anytime I hear myself complaining I can like

would I ever say that to Conchana like would I say these words would it how would my life look if she were looking at me if if she were here, you know? And usually the words that like come to my mind when I hear myself, it's just like, just shut the fuck up. You know, like I shut the fuck up. Like, you know, you don't, you get what you get and what I have now. Like, so I live in a 16 meter square apartment in Seattle and um you know and sometimes I'll I really love it it's super cute and but sometimes like I have a friend who has consistently made probably less than me

on average over the years she's living in a great house because she's really frugal right and when sometimes I'm just like well I live in a house it's like well this is the product of your choices so if you want something different you just have to make different choices. Yep. So I think the gap year is a huge part of education that in America we don't allow for or talk about. And I have a nephew that I really want to encourage to take a gap year and do something. Yeah, travel is huge. And it's not a privilege that many Americans

get. It's true. It is a privilege to be able to afford to do something like that. But for me, it's every, and when I say travel too, I'm always just like, when I'm talking about how amazing travel is, I am not saying go to a freaking resort in Mexico, okay? That is not real. You were in Disneyland right there. Like, it's just not real life. It's going where locals actually are. And like you said, it's the relationships, it's the conversations you have that are life-changing and yeah, will make you a better person. Oh, totally. I, like, I just wrote, um, something about getting my most scared friend to come down to Ecuador last year with me. When I went,

I traveled for three months through South America and she like had this really awesome little love affair with this guy named Carlos and like and it was it really was eye-opening she was so scared like everyone's gonna steal her stuff and blah blah and then she met this guy who was like so nice that he drove two hours with her in the taxi to take her to the airport at the end of the week and then two hours back. And it's just like he was such a sweetheart and I loved him. He was so nice and great. And I think that, yeah, the real kind of travel. And, you know, if you want to go to a resort in Mexico and be like, this is not, just don't only go to resorts.

Exactly. Don't only go on a cruise. Don't only have the prepackaged bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Um, get the fuck out there and see reality. Yeah. We are in a huge bubble from reality. And so I feel like my, like the thing that I think about my education is like, I gave myself my eyes. That's just the way that I describe it because I don't think that we're really educated unless you can spend some time actually seeing the world. Yeah, you can't just educate yourself by reading books. You have to experience life. And just also I think a lot of people don't have the – like really, really, truly have the understanding that the world is actually quite big there are people that

don't give a crap what you're doing because they're living their own lives in the other side of the world you need to kind of you recognize you're in a bubble this is what's going on there's a whole other world going on outside and you have to kind of see that for yourself yeah i think that i definitely have like white protagonist syndrome where it's, you know, you see America as like ground zero and everything goes out from that. And then you just like get elsewhere. It was very good for me to like be someone who didn't speak the language in another country and struggle with language and see how hard it is to express yourself and to be that vulnerable when you can't speak. And so it was a

very humbling experience and it's totally, you know, I mean, I got back like I left 10 years ago, got back eight years ago and I still, I mean, it's all in my book. There's so many stories about Peace Corps in my book. The opening scene starts with me on a bus in Paraguay. So it was everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, where can people pick up a copy of your book? It is out now. Uh, out and it is called welcome to the writer's life and they can find it on Amazon or at Indian bookstores. Um, like Powell's awesome ordering system as well. And, uh, yeah, there's also going to be coaching along with the book and, and a lot of other things hopefully in the future where it's just kind of, um, you know, this is how I want to live my life is as a writer who helps writers be writers. So it's very fun for

me. Yeah. And you also have a course that, um, is kind of a good companion, um, to this, but is it something that's part of the, companion to this, but is it something that's part of the, where can people learn about that course or do they have to live? So that's called the Writer's Welcome Kit. And more information about that will be on the website, which will be welcometotherwriterslife.com. Awesome. Well, thanks for taking the time to chat with me about all things. Thank you so much. Money and life. I liked this. Yeah. I'm excited. I feel like you're going to have a really, really awesome

life. I know this is book one of many books to come, so I can't wait to read your, I would love to read a personal finance book by you from someone who's like, really isn't just like, oh, this is how you do this and this it's like no no let's talk to a real person that dealt with like lots of different aspects of uh yeah of life yeah definitely and that was episode 174 with paulette perhaps you can uh check her out at fuckofffund.com it's super fun just to google that um you're definitely going to want to check out that article though, because it really was, I remember reading it. I'm like, wow, like I just could

visualize it. It really affected me. So I know you're, you're going to love it. So again, I'll put all that stuff in the show notes, jessicamorehouse.com slash 174. Also make sure to grab a copy of her newly released book called Welcome to the Writer's Life. It's especially if you are interested in kind of pursuing some part of being a writer, whatever that means, like maybe you want to, you know, write for a magazine or a newspaper or to start your own blog or whatever. This is kind of like the perfect book for that purpose. It's going to be exactly what you're looking for. So again, Welcome to the Writer's life is what it's called.

Oh, yeah. And also she's got some really cute stuff. She's got some swag she's selling specifically for like writers. So super nerdy writer stuff, which I mean, I'm all up in. I love it. You can just check out something like cute bags, some cute mugs, a wall clock, all these cute things. And it's all at society6.com slash welcome to the writer's life. Got some important things to share, so do not go away.

So yeah, just stick around for two secs. I just gonna share a few words about this episode's sponsor. This episode of the Mo Money Podcast is supported by FabFitFun. If there's one thing I love, it's saving money. I honestly can't remember the last time I bought something that wasn't on sale or had a promo code that made the price go down. And that's exactly why FabFitFun is right up my alley. Not only do you get eight to 10 full-size products for beauty, fashion, fitness, and lifestyle, but you only pay a fraction of the price it would cost you to buy them individually yourself. I'm talking about getting $200 worth of goodies for only $49.99. And right now, FabFitFun is giving all Mo Money

podcast listeners a special $10 off promo code to try it out. All you have to do is go to FabFitFun.com and use promo code MONEY to claim the discount. Once again, go to fabfitfun.com and use promo code M-O-N-E-Y and get $10 off your purchase. I just remembered, it's Halloween. It's October 31st, y'all. So happy Halloween. Obviously, I'm recording this in advance, but also specifically today, I'm getting back from a little mini vacay that me and my husband did. We went to Halifax for a few days to surprise a friend of ours. It was his birthday.

And him and his wife just moved. Well, they're originally from Toronto. They lived in Montreal for a year, then just moved to Halifax. And so we were so close. And because, you know, we managed our money rate, we had some money to spare. So we, you know, caught a flight to Halifax and also visited some family while we were our money rate. We had some money to spare. So we caught a flight to Halifax. And also visited some family while we were there too. So love the Maritimes.

So gorgeous. So anyways, happy Halloween. I'm not doing nothing today. I'm on a flight back home. Not that I really enjoy the holiday of Halloween. I get so anxious about like, you know, are we staying home and giving out candy? And honestly, kids never come to our door, never have. So I was so disappointed when I buy a bunch of candy and then no one comes and then I'm stuck

with a big box of candy and then I have to eat all of it myself. I know I do not have to, but obviously I'm going to if there's a big box of candy left in my house. Or if we're going out, it's like, oh, what are we going to dress as? And honestly, honestly, when you look online for like costumes, why is everything so sexy? I don't want to be sexy. I'm cold. I live in Canada. I'm cold. I want something that's like warm. The only thing I found was like a Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus, you know, costume. And yeah, I was down with that. But still, we need some more options. You know what I mean? Anyways, one thing I wanted to share just in case you are new to the show, or maybe you've been listening for a while, but you forgot about it. I run a Facebook group. It is called the

Money Life Balance Community. And there's over 1500 people in there right now. And it is amazing. It is a safe space where you can ask any question. There's no such thing as a dumb question because a question that you just, you know, you think is dumb, it just means you just don't have the answer yet. So there you go. So it's a no judgment zone is all about supporting each other, asking questions, educating ourselves and empowering ourselves through personal finance. So make sure to hop on in there. Go to facebook.com slash groups slash money life balance. Get right in there. And you'll probably also want to get on my email list, jessicamorehouse.com slash subscribe because I always put some really great stuff in there. I always share my

latest blog posts, latest videos, latest podcast episodes, event announcements, contests, oh, so many good things. So make sure to get yourself on that list. It also gives you access or you can get access easily to my full resource library. So I have a ton of freebies, you know, checklists, spreadsheets, things to help you in your financial life for free and you can get access to that if you get on my email list. So make sure to do that. That's really it. That's all I've got. Thank you so much for sticking around and listening. I'm going to be back here. Oh my gosh, November's next week. How is that happening, guys? Anyways, I'm going to be back here next week for episode 175.

And I look forward to having you back here. So thanks again for listening. I'm going to see you back here next Wednesday. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.