More Money Podcast - 299 Budgeting for Your Big Day - Jeffra Trumpower, Senior Director of Creative Marketing at WeddingWire

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

This week I’m tackling a subject that I’m shocked I’ve never talked about before, weddings! I love weddings but I also know how stressful it was when I was planning my own 8 years ago. To help me talk about all things wedding planning I’m joined by Jeffra Trumpower, Senior Director of Creative Marketing at WeddingWire.  Jeffra has been part of the wedding industry for more than a decade, with a focus on marketing and content development. She has expanded her role at WeddingWire to all facets of marketing including, design, video production, live and virtual events, and more. She currently resides in Bethesda, Maryland with her husband, daughter, and Jack Russell terrier.  WeddingWire was a site I used religiously when I was planning my wedding years ago, so I was so excited to have Jeffra on the podcast to get her great insight into the industry. Jeffra shares expert tips on wedding planning including where to start when it comes to planning, how to decide on a budget, and how to avoid regrets when it comes to your special day. For full episode show notes visit https://jessicamoorhouse.com/299 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, and welcome back to the More Money Podcast. Hello, my name is Jessica Morehouse. I'm the host of this show. This is episode 299. And I'm very excited about this episode because this is a topic that I don't I don't think I've ever done a single episode dedicated to this topic, which is wild. So I mean, hello, next episode, we're going to be at 300 episodes. How have we never done an episode on this? you know, topic? Weddings. I love weddings. I love attending weddings. I loved my wedding. I love what, like, they're just magical times, right? Like, they're just lovely. And so we're going to have a special guest, Jeffra Trumpower, on the show. She is the Senior Director of Creative Marketing for WeddingWire, WeddingWire.com, a website I certainly used quite a

bit when I was wedding planning. Oh my gosh, that was like eight and a half years ago now, which is and so I'm so excited to have her on the show because we're going to dive deep into wedding planning, wedding budgeting, all the financial aspects of wedding stuff and how to get organized and all that really fun stuff. I say fun because I feel like in my memory, I had so much fun planning, but I actually also remember how stressful and anxiety-inducing planning was. Also, just all the drama. There was always so much, you know, there's just going to be drama. If you're having a wedding, it's not going to go with the flow. Like it's going to be, you know, there's just something, there's just stuff that happens, right? It's just weddings. Like I will fully admit I was a bit near

the end when I was kind of like, you know, been wedding planning for like a year and just had my fill. I was going a little crazy. It was maybe a little bit of a bridezilla. Looking back, do I regret some of the things that I did or said? Maybe. But it's all over now. So now we can just think about the happy things. Now we have the wedding album. Everything looks great. But, you know, looking back, do I wish I did some things differently? 100%. Do I wish I spent less or more? Actually, I'm pretty okay with the budget that we worked with. I think we spent, and again, this is going back to 2013, I think we spent $16,000 and we did get some help from our families. And then I think we maybe paid half. And yeah, but there's definitely things that I wish we can go back and undo, things that we spent money on that I wish we didn't.

I mean, honestly, if I could really go back in time, I love my wedding, don't get me wrong, I would probably elope. Just because one thing and I don't know if I can't remember if we talked about this in the episode or not. But the one thing that you after you have a wedding, you kind of realize the wedding is really not about you or for you. It is really for everybody, the family, the friends, everyone who's attending because it's a big event, right? It's not. Yeah. Anyways, so without further ado, because obviously I can talk about this topic by myself for ages. Before I get to that interview with Jeffra, I just want to share a few words about this podcast episode sponsor. This episode of the More Money Podcast is supported by Alterna Savings. If you've been listening to the podcast or following me on Instagram, then you already know I'm in full

on house hunting mode ever since I sold my townhouse a few weeks ago. And this is not my first rodeo. It was just five years ago that I bought my first place, and wow, was there a lot to learn going in. Especially with mortgages, which can seem scary if you've been a long-time renter like I was. For instance, is it best to get a fixed, variable, or flexi-rate mortgage with interest rates being so low right now? Should you get a closed mortgage for the lower interest rate, or an open mortgage for the prepayment flexibility? Are there any differences in the mortgage services provided by banks and credit unions? And which kind of lender might offer the best solutions for me? So many important questions for the biggest financial decision of your life. But hey, people buy homes every single day. So

as intimidating as the process may seem, I promise you it's not that bad. With that said, the best advice I could give would be to do your research to feel more knowledgeable and confident and to ask questions of the right people, like a licensed mortgage professional who can provide you with personalized advice. To learn more about mortgage best practices and the tailored mortgage options credit unions provide, speak with an Alterna Savings Mortgage Professional who will answer your questions transparently by visiting alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Once again, that's alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Welcome, Jeff Rett, to the More Money Podcast. I'm so excited to have you on. I have never, surprisingly, after like six years of the show, never had anyone on to specifically talk about weddings, not that I can remember. So I have a lot of questions and a lot of eager

people waiting to hear your answers. So welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I'm very excited about this. Yes, me too, even though I'm like, I'm not planning a wedding. I'm married, but I actually love talking about weddings. I love shows about weddings. I love the whole shebang. So very excited. But first, before we really dive in, tell me a little bit about yourself and your background. So I have actually been working in weddings for goodness, almost 12 years. Oh, wow. So have definitely seen the progression of weddings over the last decade and really, you know, seen some wonderful changes and shifts. I currently am actually our creative director at WeddingWire. So really leading the charge on, you know, how to get pictures and videos and show couples, you know, what is the latest and

greatest in weddings and what venues are the hot thing or in different locations. And so I really have just been diving deeper into personalization too over the last couple of years. And that's been really exciting and working with our teams internally to find local vendors to do all of that and make sure that they're on our site. So there's diversity in terms of what we're offering. But my background is really just in creative marketing. And that's my bread and butter. But obviously, knowing the ins and outs of all things wedding has been part of my job over the last 12 years as well. Well, I know for me as a, you know, older bride, like a bride,

I mean, it was eight years ago ago or almost nine years ago I used wedding wire every single day when I was wedding planning I mean I really did because it's you know it's one of those things where it's like until you get engaged you're like yeah I honestly I wasn't one of those people that like fantasized about their weddings or really planned or had like a binder as you see in like some movies people have like binders I'm like no I never I actually started saving for my budget before I was engaged just because I had an idea that's probably what was going to happen, but I didn't make a plan for what it was going to look like, how many people, the venue, I had no idea.

And so when we got engaged, I'm like, okay, where do we start? And that was like the number one question I got when I put a poll up on Instagram. Everyone's like, where do I start? It can seem overwhelming because when you think about it, you're pretty much, once you get engaged, you all of a sudden have to become an event, you know, planner. And it's like, most people have never planned an event in their life. And this is a very specific type of event. And so you're like, I don't know what to do. Is there a guidebook? And I remember I read books on this and went on WeddingWire, of course, and I looked at all the resources. So I guess that's where I'd like to start. When there's a couple that's newly engaged, what is the first thing

they should do? So this is obviously, as you just pointed out, one of the questions that a lot of our couples ask. And where you should always start is your budget. But do some research before you just come out and say, my budget is X, you know, because this is how much I've saved. Start doing your research, figure out what things cost in your local area. One of the things that we try to avoid, especially at WeddingWire when we publish studies and kind of averages is it depends on where you're getting married, how many people you're going to have, what type of wedding you want, and all of those factor into your budget. And a lot of what social media and inspiration leads to is unfortunately unknowns of what things cost.

So if you're saving different images that you're really excited about and things like that, please do that because that's the fun part of wedding. So I'm not saying don't do that. Oh, yeah. Pinterest. I was on Pinterest so much to the point where once after, like literally the day after our wedding, I deleted all of my everything I pinned because I'm like, I can't I just don't want to look at it anymore. Like I was consumed by wedding stuff for like a year, a year and a half of my life. Pinterest is like too much but it is fun it is fun when you're in it but it's like you mentioned when you're really in the thick of it when you're on like Instagram or social media and looking at wedding stuff you're just it's exciting and you're like oh we could do this we could do this you don't really

think about wait how much does that actually cost though exactly and it and it might cost different depending, again, like where you're getting married. And so what we are finding is, you know, 75% of couples are actually setting their budget before even doing any research. So they're just saying, here's my budget. Great. And they're going to vendors and saying, I have X dollars for this venue or my photographer. And it, it, it unfortunately isn't that cut and dry. Um, and then what ends up happening is that we're seeing that two and three couples are actually seeing their budget increase more than they planned because of that. Yeah. And so we actually have produced a content or sorry, a cost guide on weddingdingWire to help with this. And what it allowed us to do is really go into each individual market and say, okay, here's some general costs, but it's a baseline again. And so, you know, we do say, reach out to a group of vendors, get some estimates. You know, it's, it's really strange comparison, but planning your wedding is not really a whole lot different than like a home improvement project or something where you need

to go out and say, okay, let me get some estimates on these things from people that I think would do the job that I want them to do. And, and then start to really figure out what is it going to cost me to put this wedding on and do some math ahead of time before you commit. You know, there's some things you obviously have to commit to like your venue and things like that. But doing your research is really important. I guess another thing. So when so it sounds like the best thing to do instead of picking a number out of thin air, which doesn't make sense, is really outlining what kind of wedding do we want and really taking a look at so how many people and is this like a super formal wedding or a casual one and what location all those kind of

elements and those will, I think, be a great guiding point to figure out price point for certain things. Like if it's a 200 person wedding, that's going to be obviously more expensive than a 50 person wedding. But I guess another idea as well, when people are thinking about, you know, organizing their wedding, and the budget is also the timeline, because that can also shift things. It's like, if you're on a shorter timeline, you're probably going to be paying more money. Just because I mean, that's definitely what I found, you can save money, if you plan further in advance, you can get deals and stuff like that. If you want something really quick, you're going to be paying a little bit more money. So how long in terms of planning do you should people like is it a year? I feel like that

was the number that was thrown around when I was planning for things. It's like at least a year. Is it more? Is it less? This has actually been impacted slightly by the pandemic. So, you know, we would see 13 months on average before the pandemic, because there's been a lot of shifts in larger events. We are seeing much more along the lines of a year and a half to two years out. We will have more data on that in the coming months, obviously. So I don't want that to be, yeah, hey, that's the future going forward. But in terms of venues, you know, you really have to hop on venues quickly because people are definitely booking those, you know, at least 18 months out,

especially if you have a specific time of year in mind. We actually see that 40% of weddings are happening in the fall, for example. So really? Yeah, that's surprising between like September and November. Um, so if you consider that and you really want an October wedding, every, you know, you're, you're going against the other 40% of the population that also want that. So thinking about when you actually want that, want your wedding is also a good gauge to say, when should we start planning it? Um, off there really isn't an off season for weddings anymore, because if it, you know, if you're getting married and let's say a warmer area or having a destination wedding,

it doesn't mean you're not getting married in January, February, if you live in a colder area. So really jumping on that. And so that's actually to my next point is always start with your venue. Definitely don't go, you know, that is the starting point because your venue is also the place where once you figure out what that's going to cost you, you're going to have a better understanding of your per head cost, but also a lot of venues partner with local vendors. So getting an understanding from them of, oh, you already have an in-house caterer, you have a florist you work with, you have a cake baker that you work with,

great, or a series of them that you can choose from. And that's also a good starting point to think back on budget. And they may even also have an internal planner that can help you organize a lot of that if you're not hiring an external planner. So there's a lot of factors that go into it. But I definitely would say start as soon as you can. Enjoy it. If you just got engaged, take a breather. Enjoy it. Bask in that moment.

But then just kind of get started on the where and the when and secure that venue as soon as possible. Well, since you mentioned this, and I feel like this is becoming kind of the norm for weddings. And before I felt like it was just like for people who were having big weddings or really lavish weddings, an event coordinator or an event planner, I so many people, regular people I know, have those, those honestly looking back at my own wedding day would have loved that because I was kind of, you know, as the bride, the wedding coordinator, everything came to me and you want to enjoy your day. Um, and you know, I also, you know, looking back, there's so many things I would do differently. That's for sure. So, um, right. But,

uh, yeah. What would you say to someone who is thinking of hiring? And I guess, is there a difference between a wedding planner and a wedding coordinators? Is one of them like just someone to deal with the day or how does that all work? They actually come in tiers. So you're exactly right. When you reach out to a wedding planning company, they typically have, you know, between one to five tiers of what they can do for you. Anything from just having staff at the venue on the day of to make sure that all the logistics go smoothly. So you're not having to worry about, oh, it's cake cutting time or, you know, things like that. They also can fully plan the whole thing for you where you

sit down with them on a, you know, a weekly basis and say, this is what I want. Here's my budget. And they literally plan the entire thing for you from start to finish. And you, and then they also do things where they just will design it for you if you want that. Wow. so, or find the vendors to work with. So planners have definitely expanded into multiple different variations. We have even seen them expand their offerings over the last year as well. Um, you know, helping couples relocate or find, you know, decrease their, their guest list size or increase their guest list size, hopefully, um, you know, in different variations. So definitely reach out to a planner if it's within your budget and ask kind of what

the different levels are. And that's also just something else to consider is if you decide to go with a full planner, definitely reach out to that person first because they can help you find your venue, work with the venue, things like that. But if you're unsure, going with the venue, like I said, first allows you to see if they actually have someone like that in-house that comes along with your venue cost, or they might have people that they work with frequently as well. Absolutely. So if you did want to hire someone who was like an independent planner or a coordinator, what are some general price points people can, I mean, I guess, obviously it all kind of depends, but just so people can kind of have a ballpark, what does

that look like? It definitely depends. We are, so based upon the 2019 average, because, you know, 2020 was a little bit wonky. So we actually saw that most planners were on average around $1,500. But I want to do the whole like plant, like the whole planning or just like the logistics on the day of. It's it depends. So we get the averages from our couples that say, yes, I hired a wedding or event planner. So this is average across the country of what it costs for. It could have been a coordinator or a full planner. But, you average across the country of what it costs for. It could have been a

coordinator or a full planner, but you know, it depends if you're getting married in New York city and you hire a full wedding planner, it can be a, it can be pricey, but you're getting what you're, but at the same time, I say it's pricey, but you're also getting an extremely wonderful service for that. Um, you know, that wedding planner in New York City is going to navigate all of those things for you. So again, it depends on where you are. But the average that we've heard from couples is around $1,500. But again, go and kind of do your research because it depends on what you're hiring for. Yeah, honestly, it's one of those things. If I look back me to be fair, I did it. We were young in our, you know, 20s and had no money. Yeah, honestly, it's one of those things. If I look back, me, to be fair, I did it.

We were young in our, you know, 20s and had no money. But, you know, that would have been such that it would have paid for itself. You know, it really would have been great. And that's the other thing to remember. You know, I say things like, oh, that might be pricey. But one thing to always consider, and I say this, you know, to all the couples that are listening to this, you are paying for a service that you will not regret. Yeah. So, you know, in anything that you're going with, remember that these local vendors are pricing out their time, their investment in you, you know, the cost of goods and services. So yes, a wedding does, you know, start to be a little overwhelming when you see what things cost, but it's not just the cost of the bouquet, right? It's the cost of the florist making the bouquet. Um, and also, you know, having their electricity so that the refrigerators,

that the flowers come in all kind of, you know, it all adds up. Right. So, and when you think about an event planner, that's a, most of the time you're going to get a dedicated person to you for the length of you, of you hiring them. So. And most likely I would assume too, just because they have that experience, they'd be able to probably save you money in other areas. Like, oh, this, you know, vendor, you know, can give you a discount or just like have a point of view that you don't know because you've never planned a wedding before. Yeah, and even if it's not discounts, they might at least just know

what vendors are within your pay band, right? What you can afford. And that's really helpful so that you don't feel overwhelmed if you're getting estimates back from vendors that might be a little bit above what you can pay. Absolutely. Now, I wanna kind of talk know, I got this question a lot too, and this is something I did. It's like, very well, you could probably hire a coordinator or

someone to help you and still do it yourself quite a bit of the things like decorations and things like that. Like you don't have to, you know, just pay top dollar for everything. And I think a lot of people want maybe the best of both worlds someone to help me organize things but then also there's certain things I know I could just like put this together on my own what would you say about like the DIYing kind of thing I think this is for me it was one of those things like in hindsight I'm glad I guess I did it but I sure spent a lot of time and sometimes like, was it actually saving me money? What are your kind of thoughts on that? I think that there is a reason why there are

hundreds of thousands of local vendors that do this every day and they are the experts in doing it. It is, you will absolutely save time and money by hiring vendors to do it, who know what they're doing. The other thing to consider with DIY is you want to be able to enjoy your day. So if at the last minute you were putting together flower bouquets because you decided to DIY that, that's time that you could be actually enjoying, you know, being engaged and planning for your day and things like that. So my advice is I think that there are smaller pieces of the wedding that are fun to DIY that can be projects you do with your wedding party or your family, you know, memorable things that personalize the event that you might be able to do.

But in general, I do think that it's really important to find the experts to do that. The biggest regret that we hear from couples is when they've decided that, and I'm their friend of a friend of a friend who had a camera was going to videotape their wedding. And unfortunately, it didn't turn out the way they wanted to. And they really wish they had hired a videographer. But it also goes back to think about the three things that are really important for you. And make sure that you're kind of budgeting around those. So if capturing your wedding day and having incredible photos and video are top for you, make sure that you're budgeting for that.

If having incredible food and beverage is top for you, make sure you're budgeting for that. If having a really, really amazing DJ and band, you know, it just depends on what those, I always say like narrow it down to three, Because once you start to add on more things, it becomes more expensive and be aligned on that with your partner to what are the three things you guys would not be able to live without if you look back on this 20 years from now and say, Oh, man, I really wish I had done that. Yeah, some of the best advice I got was don't cheap out on a photographer, like we couldn't afford a videographer that would have been so exciting, but you know, I'm so glad we spent the money on a photographer because we have those photos forever and they're, you know, wonderful

photos you can share with your friends and family, um, for a lifetime or the lifetime of your marriage. But you know, that's really important. But again, like that was probably just one of my top things in my top three. A question I got a lot was, what do you hear is typically a waste of money? People spend, you know, a good chunk of money, and they're like, I really didn't need to spend money on that. Like, I'll tell you mine, which was kind of the parting gift favors, which I'm not even sure if weddings do anymore, but I thought it was a thing where it's like, you know, when they leave, and then they get a little thing, and I bought a bunch of cute little tarts from a local tart maker, no one grabbed them. So I was left with like hundreds of tarts that I had to put in my freezer and eat slowly over the course of months.

And what a waste of money. Yeah. I mean, and those that that can happen. I don't I don't think that there's a general thing that people were, you know, there's not one thing. Um, I hear more about the regrets of what they didn't concentrate on than the things that they did. Um, but I do think that it goes back to, um, you know, what, what is the one thing that you really don't need? Um, and then just don't do that. You know, if you don't need to do, um, if you don't need to have a welcome basket for every single person who's staying in the hotel room, or if that ends up becoming too expensive, don't do it. It's okay. You know, that it's a nice to have, it's not a must have, um, you know,

talking to your vendors too, about if you're starting to see that things are costing a lot of money, talk to your vendors about, okay, maybe you don't need a 12 piece band. Maybe you can get an eight piece band that will, you know, can do still play the same wonderful music, but it might save you a couple thousand dollars. Really just having those conversations with your vendor to see what those look like, what that looks like in terms of cost saving. So you don't have that moment at the end because that's no one wants to have that moment where they're like, oh, gosh, I wish I hadn't done that. I think probably when people do have regrets is because they're not doing something that they wanted to do. They're doing it because there's, you know, there's always outside influences, friends, family that want

to kind of chime in and give their opinion. And typically, if you feel influenced, and you're, you know, adding something to the wedding that wasn't on your list originally, that's probably going to be something that you regret doing, because you're like, I don't even want that. Anyway, I just did that to please so and so. And that is a very good point. So if you, that is actually when I was talking about personalization and one of the biggest things that I've seen shift over the last decade, it's that it's, there's, there are traditions in weddings. So I don't want to say that traditions are going to the wayside, but this concept that you have to do everything by the book when it comes to your wedding, it's no longer a thing. You don't have to do favors. You don't have to do the bouquet toss.

You don't have to do all of these things that were kind of like, oh, here's the streamline of what a wedding actually entails. You have to do all these things, check the boxes. And so that is the other thing. Whatever you think you might have to do, take a look back and be like is this even me? is this something that I would even look back on and say oh that is something that's part of who I am

and who me and my partner are that's the biggest stuff if you do something that feels not as part of your personal tradition or who you are you might regret that later you're going to, you might regret that later. You're going to look back and like, why did we do that?

I didn't know. Yeah. I don't think we did the flower toss. Cause I think I brought home my bouquet of flowers and my mom dried it. And I'm like, I don't think I did that at all. But I think the reason I did that is like, that seems weird. Like, well, I think lots of my, you know, friends were in relationships, but I'm also just like, I never really liked the tradition of the wedding, you know, bouquet toss. It relationships, but I'm also just like, I never really liked the tradition of the wedding bouquet toss. It wasn't really for me. But one thing I hear often too is one tradition is like wedding gifts, guests coming and bringing a gift.

Things have kind of shifted for us. We were kind of lucky in a situation to kind of get around that first. We already lived together, so we didn't need, you know, a toaster. But we were moving, you know, halfway across the country. So we we didn't actually we couldn't bring anything. So we actually just asked everybody for cash. And I remember at the time, lots of people were like, Oh, is that taboo? Is that kind of tacky? Like, what what is the new, I guess, kind of thing that people are doing in terms of like the wedding gifts, the registry, like what is our do's and don'ts? So the best part about cash registry is that it's a thing now. I mean, when I got married,

you know, 13 plus years ago, it was not a thing. Um, but it is definitely a thing. And actually it is becoming more and more, um, honestly, it's becoming better for people who are giving gifts because you're supporting something for the couple. So one thing to consider when you're, if you have that notion, oh, cash registries are tacky. Think about it this way. Someone buying you a toaster at X amount of dollars is really, in my opinion, no different than saying you're going to put that same amount of money towards us buying a house or going on the vacation that we've always wanted to go on or whatever that looks like. You're helping plan. That's the whole purpose of the registry. And when it goes back to years and years and years ago, it was setting that couple up for success in their new home as a married couple.

But to your point, most couples live together now before getting married. And so that notion that you have to kind of fill their house with all of the things that they need is no longer as important as, hey, help us get to that next stage in our life or that big thing that we want to celebrate. And so cash registries are actually not taboo. They're very popular. We've seen gift cards become a big thing. And it's just less about here is a tangible gift and more about we're just supporting you guys starting a life together. Yeah. I mean, for us, it was such a blessing because it helped us pay for this move. It also helped us pay for our honeymoon. There's lots of things that we use that money in a really positive way. And I think lots of people recognize that. And I know, I mean, at least this was eight years ago now, but there were websites that it was kind of like a GoFundMe, but for weddings. And it was

like, hey, instead of a wedding gift, give cash and for weddings. And it was like, Hey, you know, instead of a wedding gift, give cash and you're going to help us yet, like you said, uh, buy a, you know, a home one day or pay for a honeymoon or to move or start a family or whatever the heck. But I, I personally liked that idea more than, you know, getting somebody a blender or something like that. Like, it's fun to like, honestly, I, I, we did, uh, we didn't go to the wedding, but it was a family, a member of ours lived in, uh you know someplace uh down in the u.s and we we can go um but we you know they did have the traditional registry and honestly it was kind of fun picking out the items that you know she'd uh chosen on on the website but then then i'm like well it's fun

for a minute but then i'm like i don't get to see her use them and i don't get these items so it's like fine for a minute but like it probably would like, I don't get to see her use them and I don't get these items. So it was like fine for a minute, but I'm like, it probably would have been actually just easier if I gave her cash, but then she could do whenever she wanted. Yeah. That's the thing. And it's, and trust me, that's not to say that there's not wonderful gifts that you can add to your registry. But we're also seeing it's not maybe if you're not going to register for China, for example, we're seeing couples register for camping gear because that's something that they love to do together. Or the experiences where you can now register, oh, I want to do a hot air balloon in my local

town. Okay, cool. Like somebody can actually buy you that experience. And it goes hand in hand with what we're seeing the shift in how people are spending money on their wedding day, where it is less about maybe the things like I was mentioning, the traditional, you know, lack of a better word, but the tradition that we've seen. And then instead saying, hey, let's have a bouncy house at our wedding or let's, you know, have games, lawn games where we can be entertained. And so it's a lot more about that experience that you're giving to your guests. And then in return, your guests are giving you that experience back through

a monetary investment or gift. Sorry, not investment. Well, it's sort of an investment. It is. That is true. Now, I'm curious because you mentioned it's really important to start with crafting a budget. I totally agree. And then kind of pricing things out and then, you know, just like any kind of, you know, big purchase, really, you need to save up for it. But I know there are probably stats out there that wedding or, you know, weddings are expensive and couples can maybe spend a little bit more than they intend to and get into debt, which for me, it's like, oh, gosh, you can never get that money back. I mean, unless you do get the cash wedding gifts. I guess that's one way. But what are some stats

or some information you might have, you know, from the past few years about how couples are saving up or how they're, you know, being able to actually pay for these things? Or, you know, do you see couples are like, is debt an actual thing? Like, are couples actually getting into debt for their wedding? Or is that just something that I've heard about, but I actually don't know anyone who has? One of the things that we've seen is that couples are paying for more of the wedding. So, you know, there was always that notion that families helped pay. But as couples, the, you know, as the average age of a couple is getting older, they are paying for more of it. But, you know, I don't think that we're, I don't know if

we're necessarily seeing a lot of couples go into debt, granted they might be, and we're just not hearing about it. But I will say that, you know, this kind of goes back to ensuring that what you're spending on is actually what you want to spend on, um, and doing it in the right way. We have definitely seen scenarios where couples are, you know, opening a credit card and that's their way of paying off their wedding or not paying off their wedding, but paying for things for their wedding. Um, but I would say that you need to know what you can spend. This is while it is a very, very wonderfully celebrated day in your life. Our advice to couples are don't spend what you can't afford. Um, and, but also knowing that if you are, if let's say you're going to get married

in 14 months, start to think about what those savings look like. Um, and what that kind of, what is it going to be for you to get there in terms of, okay, if my wedding is going to cost me $20,000 and I'm getting married in 14 months, what do I need to save over the next 12 months to make sure that I don't go into debt? It is so important that you manage your, the cost of your wedding, no different than you do any other big pricey item. Don't spend what you don't have or that you can't afford over that long period of time. The other thing to think about too, is that a majority of vendors either do want a cash deposit or to be paid in full cash at the day of the wedding too. So it's not just about, you know, being able to open a credit card and getting approved for it and spending on the credit card. There are also things that are direct

cash deposits that you have to account for. And that those big, big ticket items you definitely need to obviously save up for ahead of time. No, absolutely. I know, like, we didn't have a I don't think we still didn't have a joint bank account or credit card, but we definitely had a spreadsheet. And I always recommend like, you know, putting things down, writing things down, keeping all of your receipts and tallying things up. So you can kind of stay organized with it, because it, you know, especially as you get closer to that wedding date, I just felt like I was just like spending money here, there and everywhere. And so it's so important to stay organized. But I think

another important thing to note is to manage your expectations. Like first off for all the perfectionists listening, like, and I'm a perfectionist, your wedding day will not be perfect. It just won't because it's not totally in your control. So you just got to let things go and just go with the flow. But also it's okay if you can't do everything. Like for example, I know a lot of couples, you spend the money on the wedding, there's not enough left over for an immediate honeymoon and that's okay. So maybe it's just about, you know, doing the wedding because that's, you know, you want to get married and then picking a future date so you can save up after the wedding for the honeymoon or a trip.

Like I know like so many couples I know are like, oh, we're going next year because that just makes more financial sense. And that's fine. I don't want to say it's a huge shift, but there is definitely a shift in terms of couples deciding not to leave right after their wedding day to go on their honeymoon. There's also something to be said, finances aside, about taking a moment and pausing. You are going to be so emotionally drained the next morning when you wake up after your wedding. I mean, you don't even know until it hits you how much energy you were putting towards getting there. And so take some time to rest is my

advice on that. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yeah. Rest, save the money, rest, do whatever you need to do and plan your honeymoon a month later. Or I've seen couples do it six months later, like you said, a year later when you're really able to enjoy it and not, not kind of basking in that exhaustion from planning a wedding for the last year and a half or whatever. I know. I see all like the I was, you know, been watching some movies from the 90s and all of them like Father of the Bride. I just rewatched. I cannot believe that they went on their honeymoon the night of the wedding like that to the airport. I'm like, are you kidding me? I'd be exhausted. I would be so tired. I know when she calls her dad from the airport to say thank you. And I'm like, wait, you got on an airplane. Like, yeah, it's like they're going to Haiti or something. That's crazy to me. For us,

we we waited a month and it was great. But like, yeah, another tip is I we took we got married on a Saturday. Then we had Sunday off and I was back to work on Monday. If you have some banked vacation days, take a few extra days off because you're going to be exhausted. And going back to work right on that Monday was so not fun because everyone's like, oh, how was the wedding? Like, well, you're back at work. So like the fantasy is over. Yeah. Take a few days off. But definitely the best thing that we did was not go on a honeymoon right away. We took some time and then you can really enjoy it, you know? Yep, exactly. And a lot of couples are doing a mini moon too. So they might, you know, do something that's a little bit more cost effective where they might take the next like couple of days and say maybe in the location that they got

married or, you know, something within driving distance where you can still go and relax together and, and celebrate and enjoy each other's company, but you're not spending a lot of money or doing anything that's, like you said, going back to work or doing anything that's too much of an excursion. Yeah, absolutely. Now, one question I'm surprised I haven't even asked you, but I'm sure you have the latest stats is like on average, I know, again, it really depends, But what kind of numbers are we seeing for a total cost of a wedding now? So right now, it is, you know, our internal study is that it's about. Well, again, I want to preface that this is this is the national average, but the reception, just the reception is around $22,000, $23,000. And so that's only your reception. That doesn't include your honeymoon. That doesn't include anything like

your engagement rings. Yeah. Things like that. So that is the average that we're just seeing on literally the day of. Yeah. And do you you think the reason I mean, just like thinking about my bills after the wedding, the biggest costs were definitely the venue food, and, you know, the bar if you have something like that? Yeah, it's definitely cost per head. And that's where we start to, to tell couples, your guest list is actually really important. Um, and you know, not having an understanding of what those numbers look like before you go to a venue is also going to help you because it, it did, it's not to say that a hundred person wedding can't cost the same as a 200 person wedding, depending on what you want to actually have. But to your point, it's, um, you know,

you're paying each one of those vendors by headcount. So the catering, your bar package, the number of chairs you have, the plates, the silverware, all of that stuff go into, you know, what that's going to look like at the end of the day. So, yeah. Yeah. The smaller the wedding, the cheaper it's going to be like that. It's true. But I will say I, you know, that is a very good point, but there are definitely couples that then say, well, I'm going to go all out for the a hundred people, you know? And, um, so it just depends. I don't want to say that just because you're having a hundred people doesn't mean if you still have picked the top of the

line catering and all the top of the line bar and things like that, it adds up. Right. So, um, I do think that it just goes back to like, what are those things that you really, really care about and want to spend money on? Yeah, absolutely. And also like one thing that I found really helpful was talking to other people who recently got married, especially who live in your area to find out what were some of the learning lessons that they had. Like for me, one of the best things for when we picked our venue, we picked it actually, it was a venue that was at my university, but it looked nice. You wouldn't know if you actually just went to the venue, but it was on the property of the university. But because I was an alumni,

I got a discount, which was great because you're like, oh, great, we're going to save so much money. And I only knew that by talking to a friend of mine who got married there and so that's another thing is like you know and I guess that's also why WeddingWire exists it's like there's you can talk to people you can you know read and just learn learn learn learn it's the best thing you can do and that's that's a really good point and I would say as you're looking utilize WeddingWire as a resource to read reviews. I mean, that is why we built this company is because we knew that firsthand newlywed couple reviews were going to be incredibly helpful when people were making decisions, hearing about how they did it, what they did, or even in your experience, hearing that, hey, as an alumni,

you can save money by doing X, Y, and Z. Those types of stories are on in our reviews. I mean, that's there. It's really important to kind of get that connection and talk to other people, build a teeny tiny little community for yourself. You know, I've also even encouraged people that, you know, if you see this might be a little bit of a far-fetched thing, depending on how comfortable you are on social media. But if you're looking at some venue and, you know, you see a couple tagged, maybe even send them a little DM and say, hey, I saw you got married at this venue. We're looking into it, like any advice you have.

Because the other thing to remember is that there is not a couple in the world that doesn't want to talk about their wedding. Totally. Listen to you and me. We've gotten, you know, you got married eight years ago. I was 13 years ago. I still love talking about my wedding and giving advice. And so reaching out to somebody that may have gotten married there or even asking the venue if they have anybody that recently got married that you can reach out to is always a big, a big bonus. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I know. It's just like, how long ago did I get married? And yet I remember every single thing and love to give advice. I know. It feels like it was just yesterday, even though it wasn't. I feel the same way yeah yeah absolutely so before I let you go um you know again kind of keeping our audience in mind people that just got engaged what is just like one thing that you want to make sure newly engaged couples that are starting their wedding

planning journey should should keep in mind and think about while they set off on this uh really fun time in their life so the most cliched thing I can say, but it's so important, is enjoy it. Don't, you know, and be aligned with your partner on all of those things. Be communicating with your partner, not just when it comes to the budget, but that is very important. But just making sure that you and your partner are aligned on what your expectations are and what you want this day to look like for the two of you is so important because you're going to get family involvement. You're going to get friends telling you this. You're going to get overwhelmed around the cost of things or planning. And at the

end of the day, it is your wedding day. It is the union of you and the person that you love the most in the world. And don't lose sight of that. Um, because they're also going to be the one that you're going to want to lean on when the rest of the craziness starts to happen. Listen, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Wedding planning can get stressful. It's just really that, that that's just a fact. And, um, but don't let the stressors get to you and be aligned with your partner on all of those things so that you guys can navigate those waters together. Cause it is an exciting time of your life and, um, and it should be fun. And it goes by really quickly. It's, you know, you literally spend months planning for a six to eight hour day.

I know. I know. Don't definitely stop and take a minute and enjoy it. I know. When I look back, it's just like we spend, you know, a good year or so planning. And yeah, it's like one day and it's over in a blink. And there's so many things like, oh, I forgot to eat some of the hors d'oeuvres. And like we one of my biggest regrets.

And this was, again, just like because it's just so busy. You can't can't do it all but we cut the cake I think we had like a little bite and then we were talking to people by the time we came back the whole cake was gone oh oh no it's okay I luckily we were really lucky I had a friend of mine who made the cake and she made me a little baby cake you know a week later so we can have that for ourselves but I'm like gosh it's but you know what so that's that's again why I preface it's like your wedding will not be perfect. So you just got to go with the flow and enjoy whatever you can, but also realize it will go by so quickly, so quickly. I know it's so true. And those moments are going to happen. And to your point, you can't, don't worry about it. Yeah. Perfection will not happen at your wedding and

you're going to look back on it and you're still going to be like, that was my perfect day. Right. And we don't like to use the word perfect at WeddingWire because we don't think we don't believe that there's a perfect wedding. Heck no. We believe that it's your wedding. And regardless, you're going to look back on it. It's going to be incredible. Well, before I let you go, where can people find more helpful resources and tips as they plan their wedding?

I'm sure you have lots to share. We do. So definitely go to WeddingWire.com. We have an entire inspiration and editorial section with thousands of articles to help you, whether you're looking for venues in your area that you just kind of need to understand what that might look like to how to budget. You can also download our app, which has a budgeting tool, which is very helpful. A guest list tool, a lot of different areas to just help you get

organized. So definitely download our app. It is there to help you and make you feel like you don't get lost in the midst of the planning process. Amazing. I wish there was an app when I was planning. I remember looking, I'm like, is there an app or something? And no one wish there was an app when I was planning that. I remember looking, I'm like, is there an app or something? And no one, there was no app at the time, but I'm so glad that there's, it's easier now to plan for these things. It's so much easier. And our app also, one more thing, is so great when looking for vendors. And so that is another side note is make sure you're using our app to search for local vendors in your area, read reviews. It'll give you directions to their location. You can take notes. It's a fantastic way of organizing just who you're hiring for your big day too. Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you so

much, Jeffra, for being on the show and sharing all of your expertise. Hopefully this has given some wedding planning couples some peace of mind. Yes, I hope so. I definitely hope so. And thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure. And that was episode 299 of the more money podcast with Jeffra Trumpower from WeddingWire. Highly recommend if you're in the stages of planning or even just like pre planning, like I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, I'm still not sure if I even told my husband this, but whatever, who gives a crap? We're married now. But I totally had, you know, maybe a budget, maybe already a special savings account for saving up for that wedding, even before we were officially engaged. I just knew it was going

to happen at some point. So I just thought might as well just start now. So if you're even in the pre-planning or pre-pre-planning, not even in a relationship, who cares? You can still start planning. No one's going to know besides you. So, uh, you know, lots of great free resources on weddingwire.com. You can follow them on Twitter and Instagram at weddingwire. So make sure to check all of those resources out. I've of course, we'll link to them in the show notes for this episode. Of course, some of the, uh, some of the specific resources, um, Jeff also mentioned in the episode, they will be in the show notes so jessicamorehouse.com slash 299 is where you can find the show notes for this episode also um uh like i mentioned i developed because i just kind of was you know inspired by this episode to create

a specific wedding uh budget spreadsheet um for your you know free download so if you go to the shop page jessicamorehouse.com slash shop is where you can find that free to download. Also, if you just go to JessicaMorehouse.com slash resources, you can just access it and all my freebies in my free resource library, JessicaMorehouse.com slash resources where you can find all that good stuff. Also, if you're just looking for like a regular budget, because you want to organize your finances, maybe you just got married or whatever. I'm just saying, you know, we're in the wedding episode topics. That's why I mentioned relationships. But I have a ton of different spreadsheets for if you're an individual or if you're in a couple, like I have specific ones for

like if you're in a couple and one of you is self employed, and the other person is an employee, like things like that. Again, you can find them all on my shop page, jessicamorehouse.com slash shop. Now I do have some other things that I want to share with you. But before I get to some things that you will want to stick around for, I just want to share a few words about this podcast episode sponsor. This episode of the More Money Podcast is supported by Alterna Savings. As I continue my search for my next home, I've got both money and mortgages on my mind. Now that I'm looking to upgrade from a townhouse to a house, a much bigger financial investment, I've got so many things to think about. For instance, should I

get a 25-year or 30-year amortization for my next mortgage? On the one hand, I like the idea of becoming mortgage-free five years sooner, but a 30-year mortgage can also offer some breathing room in terms of monthly cash flow. What are my expected closing costs? Since we were considered first-time homebuyers for our current place, our land transfer taxes were waived, but that's no longer the case for buying our second home. So how much should we set aside for things like land transfer taxes, legal fees, realtor fees, title insurance, and more? With so many questions in the air, it can make house hunting just that much more stressful, which is why if you're in the same boat or looking to buy in the near future, I highly recommend speaking to a mortgage professional who will get to know

your family, your goals, and your values to design a mortgage solution that's right for you. And one place to start for some helpful checklists, and one place to start for some helpful checklists, frequently asked questions, and resources is Alterna Savings website. You can also reach out to one of their mortgage experts for specific help on your home buying journey. Alterna is committed to guiding you through the mortgage process one-on-one with care and transparency because you deserve tailored support for the biggest transaction of your life. To learn more and to start building a long-term partnership with an Alterna mortgage professional, visit alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Once again, that's alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Okay, so I've got some things I want to share with you. First and foremost, a reminder that I am doing a big book giveaway. I do this every single season of the podcast.

So if you go to jessicamorehouse.com slash contest, you can find all of the books I'm currently giving away. I am updating it as I have new guests on the show that have a book that they have coming out. So I will be adding more books throughout this season. So make sure to go to jessicamorehouse.com slash contest to enter all the books that I'm giving away currently and then make sure to check it regularly for whatever new books are up there and And good luck. Honestly, you do have a very good chance of winning because a lot of people think about entering and then they don't. And so sometimes it's like, oh, I'm picking a winner and there's only like 100 people who've entered. So you've got some pretty good odds of winning. Also, to stay in the loop with me,

I highly recommend you sign up to my email list, JessicaMorehouse.com slash subscribe. I send out newsletter every two-ish weeks. Quite honestly, sometimes it's once a month, so I'm not going to bug you that much. But that's where you can kind of stay in the loop of what's going on. Another way you can stay in touch with me is on Instagram at Jessica I. Morehouse. You can also follow the podcast at More Money Podcast on Instagram as well. What else do I have to share with you? Well, of course, if you don't already know, I do have an investing course called Wealth Building Blueprint for Canadians. And you can learn more and apply to enroll at JessicaMorehouse.com slash WBB.

It is a course specific for Canadians who want to learn how to start investing, but also specifically passive investing. So investing in a portfolio of index funds. So if you basically want to get rich slowly, and do boring passive investing, like I do, because that is how I like to build my wealth, I don't like to day trade or do anything crazy speculative, I like to invest for the long term. So I can retire one day. Yeah, that is why I built the course. It is for people who are not adventure seekers or, you know, want to gamble. This is for people like you and me who are regular people who just want to invest, so they can, you know, reach financial independence and retire

one day, whether that's early or not, whatever you want. I show you kind of the basics, as well as how to actually activate your investment plan, how to build one and how to invest your money as a Canadian. Very Canadian specific information in the course, which I think is different from most courses out there. I talked to so many people. They're like, well, this is everything's American. So not that, you know, that's a bad thing. But, you know, if you do want something that's specific for Canadians. And so we can dive deep into specific Canadian products and platforms and taxation accounts, all that kind of stuff. That is why I built this course specifically for you. So you can find more information about that just more

house.com slash WBB. Okay, that is it for me. But how very exciting. Next week, we're going to hit the 300 mark and I need to think of something special to do for for that to celebrate. I don't know. If you have any ideas, let me know. DM me on Instagram or email me or something like that. But yeah, so that's very exciting. It's kind of a huge milestone, isn't it? That's pretty wild. That's pretty cool. I should be proud of that, shouldn't I? It's just like, I feel like don't you feel like like life just moves so fast when these milestones come? They just you're like oh wow that happened you know we need to celebrate those those things those accomplishments you know

so um and also i just want to say a big thank you for listening and helping me get to you know uh 300 episodes next week that's wild i don't think it's really hit me so yeah big thank you for being awesome and supporting the podcast and And also a big thank you to my podcast editor Matt Rideout for making this podcast sounds so good. So that is it for me. Officially, thanks so much for listening. And I'll see you back here next Wednesday. Have a good rest of your weekend weekend. See you back here next week. this podcast is distributed by the women in media podcast network