More Money Podcast - 300 Why We Need to Redefine Wealth - Patrice Washington, Author, Coach and Host of The Redefining Wealth Podcast

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

This week we hit a major milestone on the More Money Podcast! Today is the 300th episode of the podcast and I almost can’t believe we’ve made it this far. Yes, we! I couldn’t have done it without you all listening every week, so I want to say a BIG thank you to all who’ve listened and supported the More Money Podcast over the past 6 years. For today’s episode, I am joined by author, podcast host, and hope-restoring coach Patrice Washington. Her book “Redefine Wealth for Yourself: How to Stop Chasing Money and Finally Live Your Life's Purpose” really amplifies her holistic approach to building wealth and why it’s intertwined with our physical and mental health. Patrice’s podcast  “The Redefining Wealth Podcast” aims to change our money mindsets and she uses her Certification in Financial Psychology to help people beyond budgeting. Patrice has built a large community of people wanting to get to the heart of their money struggles so that they can achieve the life they want, on their own terms. Patrice is full of great insights into tapping into your why when it comes to making money. In this episode, Patrice shares how the 2008 market crash was a defining moment for her money journey, why wealth needs to be redefined, and her 6 pillars of wealth. I can’t wait for you to listen to it! For full episode show notes visit https://jessicamoorhouse.com/300 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the More Money Podcast. This is your host, Jessica Morehouse. And what episode are we at today? Is it a special day? Oh my goodness, it is a special day. We have officially, and by we, I mean you and me, the listener, because I could not do this show without you. We've reached 300 episodes. That is a milestone that I remember thinking, how cool would it be if I can get to three? I don't know why 300 specifically, but that I think that there was a podcast that I had listened to for a while and they reached 300. I'm like, wow, what a milestone. I would love to achieve that. Here we are six years in 300 episodes and hundreds of amazing guests, including today's guest,

Patrice Washington. I'm so excited to have her on the show. I actually was lucky enough to see her speak a number of years ago at a conference and her personal story was so inspiring and she's been killing it ever since. So she is the host of the Redefining Wealth podcast. She is also a bestselling author and like I mentioned, a captivating speaker and also a hopes restoring coach. And I mean, she she has an amazing resume, let me like, you know, she is one of the go to, you know, money experts in the US, and I'd say North America as well. And she, why I really enjoy her and just like following her throughout all these years, is just the the, I guess the tone of voice that she has and just the perspective that she shares. She really comes at it from a place of non-judgmentalness.

That's not a word, but I said it. And just like really wanting to help people and be understanding and welcoming. And she just has a really great way of doing that. And so I have her on the show to talk about her amazing story into how she now, you know, is one of the top money experts and also, you know, her background in financial psychology. And also why she started kind of her own show called the redefining wealth podcast, what does it mean to redefine wealth or define wealth in and of itself. So we have so many great things that we dive into in this episode. So I can't wait to share them with you. But before I do just want to share a

few words about this podcast episode sponsor. This episode of the more money podcast is supported by Alterna Savings. If you've been listening to the podcast or following me on Instagram, then you already know I'm in full-on house hunting mode ever since I sold my townhouse a few weeks ago. And this is not my first rodeo. It was just five years ago that I bought my first place, and wow, was there a lot to learn going in. Especially with mortgages, which can seem scary if you've been a long-time renter like I was. For instance, is it best to get a fixed, variable, or flexi-rate mortgage with interest rates being so low right now? Should you get a closed mortgage for the lower interest rate or an open mortgage for the prepayment flexibility? Are there any

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transparently by visiting alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Once again, that's alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Welcome to the more money podcast, Patrice. It's such a pleasure to have you on. I don't think you know this because this is this is going back a while ago, but gosh, maybe it's like 2015 or something like that. Like it was a while ago you spoke at this conference called FinCon. And it was I think one of the first presentations I saw at the conference. And I thought you were wonderful. You shared your personal story. I thought you were so inspiring.

You made a big impact on me. So it's a pleasure to actually have a one-on-one sit down with you. Oh, my gosh. That is so good to hear. You never know, right? You never know who you're inspiring. Right, right. I love that.

Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. Absolutely. You're inspiring. Right, right. I love that. Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. Absolutely. And it feels like since I saw you make that presentation, I mean, your brand, your platform has just exploded. So before we kind of dive into what you're up to now, because I know there's so much going on, including your podcast and a new book, but for people who aren't familiar with you, because also I think your story from

where you started is, again, so important for people to hear. Can you kind of share what did you start to now become, you know, one of the leading kind of money experts in the US or in North America? Wow. So I really got the bug for personal finance education in college. So at 19, I was actually introduced to real estate during my sophomore year in college. And in that industry, I was just meeting so many people who were twice my age, sometimes three times my age, and they just didn't know basic stuff about personal finance. So I became a little obsessed with like going to like the free seminars and, you know, getting on teleseminars and just learning little nuggets that I thought would help my clients. Well, by 21, I became a real estate and mortgage broker. Yeah, really young,

really young. It was during my senior year in college, actually. So I launched what would become a seven figure business in college is where I launched it. And at 25, it grew to this seven figure business with my now husband. Then I like to say he was a guy that liked me a lot, like really, really hard. I couldn't shake him. But now husband of 14 years, we started that business together. And I thought that I had picked up enough nuggets to be fine for the rest of my life. I was like, oh, you know, why doesn't everyone just get rich really young and budget and save, right? So ignorant, so naive.

But the recession hit. And when the recession began in 2007, I actually was in the hospital on bedrest. I was 20 weeks pregnant when I took a fall down the stairs. Oh my gosh. And it sent me into preterm labor. And so when I got to the hospital, to the emergency room, they said, ma'am, I'm sorry,

this baby's coming any minute now. And what was supposed to be any minute now actually turned into me being in the hospital for 10 weeks on hospital bedrest. Wow. My daughter was still born prematurely, but she was healthy. And she came almost 10 weeks early and stayed in the NICU for three and a half weeks or so. So while I'm in the hospital, I'm watching the news and every day the banks that we work with are closing down one by one. And I have 16 loan officers and real estate agents in my company by that time. And they are freaking out, calling me every day. Like, what are we going to do? They want to sue us for the deposit. Our they are freaking out, calling me every day. Like, what are we going to do? They want to sue us for the deposit. Our clients are freaking out. And here I am on bedrest. I'm like, there's nothing I can do for you, for them, for myself at this point. Long story short, by the

time I got out of the hospital, within months, we exhausted our savings. We were floating mortgages and floating office expenses and paying salaries and the savings. What took years to build felt like it was gone in months. And before you know it, I was I was going from the seven figure business a year later to scraping up change, like shaking out old purses, checking couch cushions for change. It was bad. And we ended up selling or foreclosing on our 6,000. Selling would be nice. Foreclosing, right? Foreclosing on our 6,000 square foot home. And we fled to this town, Metairie, Louisiana from Southern California. And we were in this small box of an apartment. It was about 600 square feet. And that is where I always say I had like my defining moment. Because here I am, I'm like, I thought I did all the right things. I did save.

I did budget. I did do a lot of the things that I learned to do. But so how am I here? Like, how am I in this position? And I just couldn't reconcile it. And I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had brought myself as far as I could take myself and I was fresh out of any ideas and I just lost it I was in the bathroom one day Jessica I don't know if you've ever had you know oh yeah a moment where you were crying and didn't even recognize yourself like uncontrollable

tears sobbing I couldn't take it anymore. And I found this scripture and the scripture was in Proverbs. It's a, it's a Bible scripture, but even if that's not your thing, take it as a great quote. It said, what good is money? It's Proverbs 17, 16. What good is money in the hands of a fool if they have no desire to seek wisdom. What does that mean? Yeah, it really, it can't, it can't bother me too. I was like, well, first of all, am I a fool? Like, are we, I'm smart. Like I went to college. I read a lot. I study a lot, but I realized that there was a big difference between knowledge and wisdom. So I had a lot of book smarts in education. Doesn't mean I always knew how to apply it, when to apply it,

where to apply it. And the application of knowledge is what wisdom actually is. And that was like a big light bulb because it made me think, oh my gosh, here I am. I've been doing all the things and checking all the boxes and thinking that was enough. But there's a lot of ways that I was not really applying things to my everyday life. And it made me start to think about what wealth really was, right? Yeah.

And when I start to think about what wealth really was, I'm a big, like, I'll go Google and try to get to the definition of something. And wealth, on the surface, we think of money and material possession. So when people want to build wealth, all they're thinking of is debt, you know, debt elimination, savings, budgeting, very skillset driven, right? Which is cool, but not the whole story. When I dug deeper, I saw truly the definition of wealth, the 12th century original definition was the condition of wellbeing.

It was a condition of wellbeing. And I like had to sit with that for a while. Like, what the hell does that mean? Right? Like, okay. It made me start to think about all these other areas of my life where I had neglected things, whether that be my health, relationships, my environment, whatever it was, I was neglecting a lot in the name of chasing money, the pursuit of wealth. And not as someone, I've never been into bags and purses and like, oh, never been my thing, right? But chasing money, meaning making money, the focal point of everything. So if you've ever met people who are trying to get out of debt and you've heard the gurus, right? Don't do anything else. No coffee, no eating out, no vacations, no nothing until you are debt free. But what the hell? Like how do you live your life for three, five, 10, 15 years with only the pursuit of getting out of debt. Yeah. But you're not really

living your life. Do you know all the other voids that will be created and how much you will end up self-sabotaging in so many different ways? And that's where I was, you know, that's where I was at that time. It really made me reflect on all parts of my life. And so, you know, that was March 9th, 2009, when I had the breakdown in the bathroom. And for the last 12 years, I've lived my life with this mission or this idea of like, I just want to share with people that we can't make this whole financial journey or our lives just about chasing money. We have to be willing to seek wisdom. And for me, I have found over the years also really do things that are in alignment with what I feel gifted and purpose to do instead of trying to force myself in these boxes for the sake of making money.

Right. You know, because that leads to unfulfillment, which leads anyway to the mismanagement of your finances. So that's that's what I do. That's what drives me. Wow. There's a lot to unpack there. I mean, I completely agree. I feel like for a lot and for lots of people to who I think have never had access to money, and it's always been something that they wanted. I mean, you know, lots of people grow up and they're like, I didn't have money. And so that's what I want. So they think that is the solution to all of my problems. So why lots of people, you know, do the lottery or do ridiculous things like invest in things they do not understand for the pursuit of getting rich quick. But really, what I've,

you know, similar to you realized over the years is, it's actually money isn't actually about money, your personal finance actually isn't just about money. It is about, like you said, well, wealth isn't just money, material things, it is about well being. So what is well being? Well, it's different for everybody. So what does that mean to you? And then you work backwards to try to figure out how can I use money and all the different strategies and tools that it enables for me to achieve that life. But it's hard for people, I think, to really understand that. That's kind of a bigger, kind of deeper concept for people to be like, oh, because it does seem like what is out there, what we see is very black and white and very much like no money, money, money, money. I mean, especially with social media and celebrity

culture and stuff like that. It is it is really hard. One of the things that I try to do at redefining wealth, though, is really make the connection for people, like very basic stuff, right? So let's just take what we call the fit pillar. That's the very first pillar out of the six pillars of wealth that we use. The fit pillar is about becoming your best self. So the conversations that I'm having with people, they may have heard before, but not had the connection this way. So we hear, oh, health as well. Right. Isn't that a cute thing we've been hearing for like a long time?

Yet we don't really live by that. Right. It's like, oh, I heard that. But I also hear I need to stay on my hustle and grind. I also hear team no sleep. Right. I also hear women, especially wearing exhaustion, like a badge of honor, like, Oh girl, I'm just so tired. Oh, I'm so tired. Or people one, not being each other.

It was like, Oh, well, I'm way busier than you. Or it's like, Oh, I wish I was that tired. I'm even more tired. And you're like, this isn't a competition. It's not, it's not a exhaustion Olympics, right? It's like people are trying to win the gold medal here and being exhausted. Well, here's the deal. If you have a vision for your life, if whatever that is, however, your retirement looks or goals you set for yourself, whatever that is. The thing that I always want people to remember is that if you have a vision for your life, it's your duty and responsibility to protect the only vessel you get needed to execute the vision. Because if not, what you're actually doing is running yourself

into the ground, right? In the name of being busy and working towards prescriptions that you will not be able to pronounce. Is that what you're actually working for? So really take a step back and make sure that you're even setting up your life to support what it is you say you want. If you're not here, if you're not in good health, if you're not able-bodied, if you can't breathe, this is a problem. And what good is the money going to be anyway? So we need to start with like, how do I take care of myself so that I can actually enjoy and walk in the fullness of what it is I say I want. And the other side of that is that it's not even just physically fit. It's mentally fit. Yes. Cause we're, we're constantly

thinking, Oh, when I get more money, this will be better. And that will be better, but you're bringing the same you into that new season, into that new job, into that new environment. And so, and you was probably self-sabotaging because you don't yet have the mental capacity to even receive or hold the money you say you want. And many of us are dealing with, like you said, I didn't grow up with money, right? We have a lot of these childhood stories lingering. Childhood trauma.

Oh my gosh. What did you hear? What did you see? What did you experience around money, wealth, success, rich people, however you define that for yourself. Those things will still run how you operate with money, even though you may have not heard it again since you were eight years old. There's an eight-year-old, a 15-year-old, a 19-year-old version of you that's still running

the financial show. And we like to say at Redefining Wealth, your business or your finances are only going to grow to the extent you're willing to heal some of that stuff, some of that going on in the back of your head. Yeah, no, it's, it's, I've actually found it so liberating that the conversations in the kind of personal finance sphere and communities and experts are like, more like the newer kind of experts that have come around since, definitely since the recession and in the past, you know, couple years, that there is more of a focus on mental health because it used to be, I feel like when I just started getting into it, here are the practical how-tos. And you're like, oh, great. And then you'd kind of wonder, well,

why, if it's that easy, why isn't everyone doing it? And then the answer you'd usually get, those people are lazy. They don't work hard enough, etc, etc. So the blame game, but really, it's because no, no, there's a bunch of stuff, like you said, like that kind of like visual you gave of like, there's like a child in you that is running your finances, that I've seen that so many people have recognized that in my own family and friends. And unless you take the steps to actually work through that, usually working with like a therapist or professional, yeah, what else would change besides you have more money, but you haven't actually changed any of your habits or what's going on mentally? Like that's, it doesn't make any sense.

I mean, because who you are with $100 is who you are with $1,000. Exactly. It's who you are with $10 dollars is who you are with a thousand. Exactly. Right. Those, those behaviors, if they are unsupportive, are just going to follow you around from level to level. Right. So at some point you have to go, okay, I need to change. There might be something in my backstory. I, you know, for me, I realized at one point I was holding on to a story that was my parents' story because they moved here from a poor country. Right. And so sometimes I would make decisions from a lens that was not even my own. Yeah. That wasn't, that wasn't my story. I have, thank goodness, I'm grateful to be here in the U.S., you know, I'm grateful to be here, but that's not my story. So I don't have to run my life like that. They made decisions from a place of survival for that time in that way. I don't have to operate like that. And it takes a lot to stop and allow yourself to recognize these behaviors, these patterns. And because that's the only way you're going to be able to recondition. It's like you have to recognize it and bring awareness to it and then go, oh, well, just

because big mama used to say whatever unsupportive things she would say, I don't really have to live like that 10, 20, 30 years later. That's not my story. That might've felt like her reality, but it doesn't have to be mine. What a wake up call. Right. I mean, that's definitely something me personally have, I've, you know, awakened as, especially as I get older, have more experience, continue to grow my own knowledge is yeah, these things are so unconscious. And I think also, even though we're adults, I'm in my mid 30s. We still sometimes I still sometimes look back at my parents as if, oh, just like as if they have all the answers. They're just humans, too. And

they're still learning, too. And so we need to sometimes recognize what they know and what they don't know and what any kind of gaps are there. And then, yeah, recognizing I don't want to repeat, you know, past generations of my family. Like I was just having a conversation with my husband and like literally no one on either side of my family had wealth ever generationally for hundreds and hundreds of years. And I think that runs so deep in our family story that now me in this, you know, I feel very in this privileged position. We live in Canada. We have all these great opportunities. It is something I'm constantly like, like trying to make these decisions that I know will be beneficial in terms of abundance and

wealth generation. But I'm constantly fearful of somehow, yeah, losing the farm and all this stuff. I'm like, I don't have a farm, but I'm somehow worried about losing the farm. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, what is going on? And it's, yeah, it's something that's been so interesting. And so many people have the exact same thing is this stuff just runs so deep. We need to recognize it and deal with it. Otherwise, 10 years is going to fly by and you're going to be in the exact same space. And yeah, that's the scary part. Well, there's a flip side to that, too, because I know we talk about it from losing the farm, but there's a whole nother, you know, subcategory of people who have financial guilt. And so they grew up with privilege. They grew up

with money without a need in the world. And we've heard the stories, right? So-and-so was left this money or left this trust fund and they blew it. And you're like, how? And you go, oh, I would never do that. Yes, you would. Like you might. So don't judge. That's the big thing about this. And money is so sensitive, but we really have to learn not to judge because whether you're on either side of the spectrum, there's so much that comes with it. And there's still so many stories that we tell. And for, you know, people who have financial guilt, well, you know, it could be a lot of things. It could be shame around how their family made the money. Maybe it conflicts with their values now, right? How their family made money for many years and many generations. And so they're trying to disassociate from that. Or they're like, oh, well, I'm just going to give it all away. And they give it to the point of their own detriment. And I've had clients in the past who lost fortunes, allowed, you know, a significant other to gamble it away, or they, you know, poured it into investments they knew nothing about. And,

you know, they wanted it to be about everyone else, but it's like, no, you subconsciously allowed that because insert whatever that is. Like, and for many people, it's different, but it's interesting to see that no matter where you land on this continuum, there's, we all have a story. We all have a backstory and there's no shame in it. It's just like, okay, acknowledge it though. Let's recognize it.

So if that doesn't serve us, we can shift and do something different. Now, I know we've kind of touched on this, but I want to kind of dive into this deeper. It sounds like a big part of redefining what your wealth is, is also defining what your personal values are. And I find for us who are so, I feel like our generation, maybe even other generations too, we're so like on autopilot. I feel like we don't take the time to really take a second to be like,

what do I personally value? And also try to, again, separate that from your parents' values, your friends' values. How do you get started really taking a look at who am I and who do I want to be? And also what do I want to be connected with me in terms of a value system? So good. I think one way that we can start to look at it almost immediately is just look at what we're doing day in and day out. Like, how are you spending your time? Are these things that actually fill you up and give you joy and give you a sense of peace? Or are you literally just doing the things that allow you to pay bills? Because to your point, what a lot of us did, especially early on, maybe fresh out of high school or college was, you know, mom or dad or grandma, somebody gave advice and said, oh, get a job in that field and you'll always have money.

And there was no allotment for joy. There was no allotment for like fulfillment. There was, it was not about doing anything that you felt was purposeful or you were passionate about. It was like, oh, you know, you'll always be in demand. You'll always have money. And now you look up and you see people who are making maybe multiple six figures or they have, you know, far surpassed the number that they thought and they're unhappy. They're unfulfilled, right? They lack contentment.

And what's a sign of that? Some of it is, it's always the bigger, better house. It's constantly the new car. It's the garage that's so full of things. You can't pull the car in the garage. The car is like in the driveway, not in the garage, right? It's the closet full of tags. It's the constantly looking for how do I fill the void? Well, the void is really filled in how you fill your calendar. Yeah. in and day out. And so when you look at that, you go like, does any of this connect to like, if you value family, right? How often do you see people? We call it the people pillar, right? How often do you see people blocked on your calendar? If you say, oh, I value my faith and spirituality. Okay. Well, where is it on your calendar? Because most of us are like looking for time for these

things, but it's not hiding. So you don't have to find time. You make it. We will calendar work and money related things and everything else. We'll try to fit it in however, wherever it goes. When we really should look at building our lives, right. We're building, I should say our work and money centered things around our lives. So that's one of the easiest ways for us to really look at. Am I actually doing things that are in alignment with my values? Because then that'll even dictate, Jessica, your number. I know we have all of these formulas for how much I need to retire. Right.

OK, that's that's cool. I love that's nice. I'm not, I have my own number. So I understand. However, you get to figure out what the path to that looks like and deconstruct that, right? So let's say your number is a million dollars. You still get to choose, how am I going to get to that?

Yeah. You know what I mean? And I think that's what we really have to think about. let's say your number is a million dollars, you still get to choose how am I going to get to that? Yeah. You know what I mean? And I think that's what we really have to think about. What's in alignment with my lifestyle, with my personality, with what I enjoy? I'm not saying don't hit the million dollars, but how are you going to hit it? Because you can't just know what you want without being aware of who you need to become. Yes. Ooh, I like that. It's so interesting that you mentioned that just because I recently, you know, I've been having some conversations with people about, you know, like the fire community, which is, you know, all about retiring early, reaching financial independence. More conversations have been coming out of community or people who are interested about, I don't think I like the traditional path to that.

Because before there was like, you know, it was like the traditional path to that. Because before there was like, you know, it was like rise and grind, hustle, live really frugally, you have to make as much money as possible. It was very restrictive and extreme in order to reach this goal if you had a very short timeline. And I think a lot of people are now kind of taking a step back. You're like, I want to reach that goal or something similar to that goal. But that path does just not align with me. And I'm appreciative that there's more conversations being like, that's okay. Whereas I feel like 10 years ago, it's like, well, this is it. So if you don't want to, this is the path. Sorry. Be broke, be lazy. If you don't want to do this, you know, this is the sacrifice it takes. You know, this morning I was actually kind of meditating and something came to me that I think is appropriate here.

It was this thought that just because something is inspirational, it doesn't have to be aspirational. And what I mean by that is I can be inspired by someone from the fire community, right? And what they've been able to do without aspiring to have what they have or to do it their way. And I think sometimes it gets really hard and confusing because like you said, we've been indoctrinated with this idea that that's how you do it. And you know, no coffee for you and be a minimalist. And there's nothing wrong with any of those things if you choose to do it. But what I found in my work is that when we do it begrudgingly and we become bitter,

even if we hit the goal, we usually revert back. I've seen more people. I don't want to call any gurus out. I've seen more people who have done the whole, ah, I did it, I'm debt free. But they were so restricted that within years, within two to three years, they were back in debt. And some of them, they were in worse debt the second time around. Because it's like when you're dieting

and someone says you can't have carbs. So you go two years without carbs. Okay, you lose the weight. You you go two years without carbs. Okay. You lose the weight. You, you may look amazing. Your version of amazing. You fit into the little dress, right? And then you go on vacation and you're like, I'm going to have every damn carb from here to Timbuktu. And now I'm back, baby. And now your body is like craving carbs. And now what took you two years to do? You unravel in two months. Yeah, exactly. It's like, that's not sustainable. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to live like that. No. And that's, that's another thing

that I've been realizing as I've been getting older, it's life is long. I feel like it's sometimes easier to fall into some of these extreme versions of things when you're in your 20s, because you have no concept of how long life is, right? You're like, Oh, my gosh, I don't like I felt throughout my whole 20s. I'm running out of time, which is ridiculous. I was at the beginning. Isn't that crazy? I'm like, I've achieved everything by 30. And then I hit 30. I'm like, literally, nothing's changed. I did not die. I'm 30. It's fine. Everything's just fine. And that really did kind of change my mindset for a lot of different things. I want to kind of, since you kind of touched on it, and I know this was something I found

in your website, you know, you have a very different perspective and sometimes a bit maybe contrary to some of the advice by some of the, you know, personal finance gurus you may see out there. What are some things that maybe you have seen that they've maybe given advice out there that in your perspective or from you working with clients are like, that's just not going to work for lots of people? I think you kind of touched on this. It's sitting down with someone and telling them to dive deep into the numbers before they even had a chance to really dissect anything about their childhood. Yeah. You know, how their parents handled money, what money represents to them, what values they associate with money.

Those things to me are going to be what makes the budget stick. Yeah. The budget doesn't stick just because you write it down. Many of us have written a budget, set up a whole app and never opened the app again. The budget doesn't stick just because you write it down. Many of us have written a budget, set up a whole app and never opened the app again. We've never logged in again. We've never opened the book where we might've written things. That's not enough. I always think that there has to be a bigger why connected to you sticking to it. It's not just for the sake of sticking to it. And so that's one challenge

that I have all the time is like, we are trying to create this gazelle-like intensity for people without truly giving them something that centers and anchors them first. So that's number one. I would say number two, I used to get, girl, I used to get emails about this one. I don't believe in rainy day funds. Like an emergency fund. I don't like the term emergency fund. It never sat well with me. Even though I've been good at saving for most of my life, like the term emergency fund never

sat well with me. And I remember being a little girl in church and hearing how words were so powerful and like life and death is in the power of the tongue. And as I got older, I really thought about how powerful words were and that what you, what you verbalize, you magnetize. I feel that you attract more of it. And our words, we tend to, whether it's right or not, magnify. We can say something and we'll blow it up. And it's like, girl, it really wasn't that serious, right? So with things like emergency funds, it made me feel like if I focus on emergencies, if I keep speaking of emergencies, then I am expecting an emergency. And I don't like that. I don't like that. So

instead of emergency fund, I've always said opportunity fund. So here's the thing I'd rather, and I found with my clients back in the day, they would be more inclined to save for opportunities than they were emergencies. Yeah. Cause it's more of a positive thing. It's more of a positive thing. It's what you actually want. No, one's really excited to think about their flat tire, their engine blowing their roof leaking. We're just, but vacation. Oh, we'll put a picture of ourselves in a bikini and post it on the wall somewhere and be motivated and inspired by that. Right now. I did have a guru back in the day, several years ago, who told me that I was setting people up for failure.

Oh, okay. And I was so willing to debate this. I was so willing to debate this. I'm like, I don't think I'm setting people up for failure. I'm actually encouraging them to say for what they want to say for it. Now, what I do teach people is that if an emergency should arise, you are more likely to actually have the money now than when you were saving for the rainy day that you never

got around to. Right. And if that happens, if a crisis comes up, now you can handle it with grace and ease. Now it's just an inconvenience, right? If it is better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. So I always steer people towards just having a better connection with the words that they're using. So some people get upset about the word budget. It's just they automatically... Oh gosh, people hate that word. I'm like, okay. So what I hear all the time or

people like I anti-budget. I'm like, that's still a form of budgeting but okay we just hate the word budget i get it i like using the word spending plan because people like the word spending and plan so i like what you're you're getting at it's like it's not that you're saying don't save for an emergency it's like maybe we need to also not just redefine the term wealth, but a bunch of other terms. Because if it's not connecting with you, if people are like, oh my gosh, I know I need emergency fund, but I don't, you know, I keep not saving for it. It's like, maybe we need a different word for it then. Because it's not working for you.

It's that simple. I love that. I love that. It's that simple. Yep. I love that. Yeah. No, I think that makes a lot of sense.

I think words are super powerful and saving for an opportunity or something exciting is way more exciting than saving for a possible catastrophe. But what you're saying is you're not saying don't save for those possible things. You'll have the cash. It's just a bit of a way, different way to kind of define it and structure it. No, I like that. That's amazing. So I know you have obviously a podcast that's super successful called the Redefining Wealth Podcast. You also have a book. What are some things that people can expect if they tune into your show or grab a copy of your new book? Oh, so yes, Redefining Wealth and the book Redefine Wealth for Yourself are both based

on the six pillars of wealth. And so when you come to the podcast, just expect different conversations with really engaging folks or solo episodes, solo insights, where I go through the six pillars, one of the six pillars at the moment. And then we make the connection between that thought or that principle, that practical tip and how it impacts your finances. I love that people are improving their finances without even thinking about it. It's not the focal point. It's not like the thing. They're improving their relationships

or their health or their environment or their faith or their work life. And they're seeing the connection to how that shows up in their finances. And I love it. And in the book, I've laid out 141 principles. Oh, wow. Like little action steps that if you say, okay, Patrice, I'm really struggling in the people pillar. There are a bunch of steps that are like, try this. Like maybe it's accountability.

Maybe it's mentoring. Maybe it's coaching. Maybe you need to focus on your family more in this season. You know, life is so cyclical. And we just go through these different seasons where we require different things. And we shouldn't expect ourselves to have the same money desires or goals or even the same budget for years. It's going to change based on where you are in life. And I think anytime we're struggling in our finances, I really want to invite you to look at one of these pillars and go is maybe this is the thing. Maybe I'm not. So it's not so much that,

you know, I'm sleepy at work because I just hate my job. Maybe I have something going on medically that is exhausting me. And I didn't even know I've not paid attention to the signs. I just drink coffee all day and hope for the best. It's like, no, maybe that's a sign that you got to listen to your body, make a few doctor's appointments, get some blood work and go, you know what? I do still love what I do. It's just, I've been dealing with insert any number of health challenges out there possible. Right. And so it's just that awareness that it's always deeper than you probably think it is. It's not that you just don't know how to budget. There's so many apps now you can, you can find something that resonates with you. You know,

it's not, Oh, which savings account do I choose? Let's stop asking those very surface level questions and get a little deeper. And that's, that's what I talk about on the podcast and in the book. I love that. It's a game changer. I mean, I completely agree. I think it's if you start deep, which is easier said than done, because it's emotional and it's like it's going to, you know, it's not going to be easy, right? When you go deep, it's not going to be easy, but it's going to be well worth it. And like I say, you know, with things that sometimes seem complex, like investing, usually it's because there's something deeper emotionally that is preventing you from even wanting to kind of learn what you don't know. Like it's, it could be like shame because you

don't know or whatever the case, but yeah, I completely agree. The best way to set yourself up for financial success, no matter where you're at is starting with those kind of core things, those deep things, and then slowly kind of going back up to the surface. And then those questions you have, which savings account should I do will become very obvious is this. Yeah. Or it just becomes like, make a choice. Like just make a choice. It doesn't actually matter. Make a decision. It's like, do you want to keep asking the same question for three years? At this point, nothing's helping. You're not saving any more than you would have, or you're not earning any better interest because you've wasted a lot of time going in circles. If your mind was more

clear, right. From asking some of these questions, you know, you know what, I'm just going to take the next best step. And in the meantime, I'll be open to receiving if I hear something better. And you know, people transfer money every day. Like you can always open up a different account. Yeah. The point is just start. Yeah. And yeah, I think you also kind of, yeah, had a really important thing. And this is, I hear a lot, especially from women, uh, of afraid of making a mistake, afraid of not doing it perfectly the first time. We need to get rid of that. It's just about starting. And then as you learn more, you gain more experience. You can tweak things. You can move things around. You can make different choices. But it's about not preventing yourself from getting started because you're worried about

making a mistake. We're all going to make mistakes. It's okay. Clarity comes in the doing. Yes. Well, I think we'll leave it there because that's such a great quote. Before I let you go, where can people find more information about you, your podcast, your book, all of the amazing resources you have? Yes. Come on over to patricewashington.com. And actually, if you want to get a breakdown of what each of these pillars entail, come to patricewashington.com and just click on start here.

You'll get a free audio training in about 25, 30 minutes. It'll break down each one of the pillars, what they entail. And it also gives you a brief assessment so you can figure out which pillar you need to start with. Oh, I love that. That's awesome. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to be on the show. It was a pleasure having you on.

Ah, so honored to be here. Thank you, Jessica. And that was episode 300 of the More Money Podcast with Patrice Washington. Make sure to check her out at patricewashington.com. I'll, of course, link to her in the show notes. You can also follow her on Twitter at seekwisdompcw. Also, you can find her on Instagram at that same handle, Seek Wisdom PCW. Also, make sure to subscribe and start listening to her podcast called the Redefining Wealth Podcast. So I've got some very, you know, I've got some things to share with you for real. Like I have only told maybe a few people this and I'm gonna leave you hanging because this is some juicy stuff. And I'm going to let you know because I am sharing.

I always like to share like really important things with you guys on the podcast because you're, you know, you've been with me for so long. So do not go away. Just want to share a few words about this podcast episode sponsor that I'm going to share some very exciting things with you. So stick around. This episode of the More Money Podcast is supported by Alterna Savings. As I continue my search for my next home, I've got both money and mortgages on my mind. Now that I'm looking to upgrade from a townhouse to a house, a much bigger financial investment, I've got so many things to think about. For instance, should I get a 25-year or 30-year amortization for my next mortgage? On the one hand, I like the idea

of becoming mortgage-free five years sooner, but a 30-year mortgage can also offer some breathing room in terms of monthly cash flow. What are my expected closing costs? Since we were considered first-time homebuyers for our current place, our land transfer taxes were waived, but that's no longer the case for buying our second home. So how much should we set aside for things like land transfer taxes, legal fees, realtor fees, title insurance, and more? With so many questions in the air, it can make house hunting just that much more stressful. Which is why if you're in the same boat or looking to buy in the near future, I highly recommend speaking to a mortgage professional who will get to know

your family, your goals, and your values to design a mortgage solution that's right for you. And one place to start for some helpful checklists, frequently asked questions, and resources is Alterna Savings website. You can also reach out to one of their mortgage experts for specific help on your home buying journey. Alterna is committed to guiding you through the mortgage process one-on-one with care and transparency because you deserve tailored support for the biggest transaction of your life. To learn more and to start building a long-term partnership with an Alterna Mortgage Professional, visit alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Once again, that's alterna.ca slash moremoneymortgage. Okay, first and foremost, because I probably should have shared this earlier in the episode,

so if you're still listening, this is a treat for you. I am, of course, giving away a copy of Patrice's book, Redefine Wealth for Yourself. So make sure to go to jessicamorehouse.com slash contests to enter to win a copy of her book, but also you'll have a chance to enter to win a bunch of other books that I am giving away. What books you're asking? Let me check the website right now and let you know because I am always adding books to this contest as I have more guests on the show. So I'm giving away a copy of The Wisest Investment from Robin Tobe. FYI, these are books that are all featured on the show. How to Figure Out What to Do With Your Life Next by Jennifer Turley, who's been on the show, of course. And lastly, Breaking Money Silence by Kathleen Burns

Kingsbury. You can find all those books and Patrice's book on the website, jessicamorehouse.com slash contest, or you can check out the show notes for this episode, jessicamorehouse.com slash 300. Okay. That's my little spiel about the contest. What was I teasing earlier? What kind of a big news do I have for you? Well, I've got some good news, guys. Not going to be homeless. Me and my husband, somehow, I don't know, it literally feels like a miracle. We found a place. We bought it. We bought a house in Toronto, like an actual house, like a standalone detached house in Toronto. It is Toronto, the eastest part of Toronto, just before you get into Scarborough, but it is still Toronto. And yeah, we did it. We sold our place like we intended. And it was the

most intense, stressful month of our lives trying to find a house to live in. But we eventually did it. And I will definitely be sharing some more information about that experience, that journey. I'm going to be making some specific videos on my YouTube channel. So in case you don't know, I've got a YouTube channel to go to JessicaMorehouse.com slash YouTube or just Google Jessica Morehouse, you'll find my channel in there. And I'm going to be sharing kind of my experience. I just made a video. I'm not sure if it'll be up by the time this episode airs, but it might be about my experience selling. And also my thought process of why would you sell your house before you buy a new house that is kind

of the opposite of what people do most people you know buy a place and then sell it and then use bridge financing to kind of bridge that gap we did the opposite and thank god knock on wood I knocked on the wood everything worked out so we feel super. So we are out of our place, November 25. And then we have an Airbnb for a few weeks and going home for Christmas over December. And then we are going to be in our new place beginning of January. So new year new home and hopefully a better podcast studio because what quite I'll be honest, I've been making do literally doing this podcast in kind of an empty room with a bunch of boxes. And I know my podcast editor is not super pleased. But what can I do? Everything's in boxes. I'm not going to unpack it. So I'm so excited to have a better YouTube setup and a

better podcast setup. And I can't wait to make new and better content in 2022. Very exciting. So that's the big news. Besides also reaching again, the milestone of 300 episodes. So I just want to take this opportunity to say a big thank you, listener. Because I know some of you have been literally listening to me since the beginning six years ago.

So thank you so much. I wish I can give you a hug, but you know, virtualness and COVID. But I want to say thank you so much for supporting me in the podcast. If you're new to the show, thank you so much for sticking around and joining me and telling your friends and sharing, you know, the podcast on your social channels. I honestly love it when I get people tweeting at me or DMing me on Instagram and, you know, sharing my stuff. Also, FYI, in case you are following me on Instagram and sharing my stuff.

Also, FYI, in case you are following me on Instagram, and I've posted this so many times, there are, and I have been seeing this, I might make a YouTube video about this actually, I've seen a lot of other kind of personal finance influencers, experts out there with Instagram that have been dealing with this as well. A lot of hackers are coming out,

or maybe not so much hackers, but spoof accounts, people that are pretending to be you and they're DMing, you know, your Instagram followers in order to, you know, do phishing and that like trying to get some personal information and, you know, scam them out of money, basically. And this has happened to me all throughout this, you know, past couple years, this has happened and Instagram is terrible because they take forever to take these people down. I just want you to know, I only have one, well, two technically Instagram accounts. I have at Jessica I. Morehouse. And then I also have an Instagram account for the podcast at

More Money Podcast. But lately there was a spoof account and I hope it's not there anymore. I have contacted Instagram and told everyone to report it. It was at Jessica I. Morehouse with two E's at the end. Honestly, like it should be obvious it's not me because it doesn't have any posts or I think they blocked me. So maybe there's posts and I just can't see them. And also, if you like, here's the thing, I will never DM you out of the blue with really bad grammar asking for personal information or ever mentioning cryptocurrency you know my feelings about cryptocurrency i'm not the biggest fan i think it is like here's this is part of the reason i don't like crypto is because there's so many scams that are popping up about it so just so you know if you get a weird dm from me and it looks suspicious it most likely is check to

see uh my real account at jessica ihouse. I also put in my description on my Instagram that this is my only account. So hopefully that is some indication. But just let you know there's other personal finance people that I've seen on Instagram, they've been dealing with the exact same thing. So it's happening to like everybody. So just be just to be aware that there are a lot of scams out there on social media. So stay diligent. If something seems scammy, or a red flag, or just not quite right, it probably isn't. So just stay aware. Okay, that is really all I wanted to share. A big thank you to my podcast editor, Matt Rideout for making these podcast episodes. Oh, so wonderful. And I just want to say thank you again for listening. I've got actually a bonus

episode for you tomorrow. Surprise, another little bonus. And you know, very timely, it's going to be about mortgages. So if you are first time homebuyer or a second time homebuyer or just thinking of potentially buying a home one day, you're going to check out tomorrow's episode. So make sure to subscribe wherever you're listening and I will see you back here tomorrow for another episode. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.