More Money Podcast - From the Archives: Relistening to Kristin Keffeler Discuss the Myth of Growing Up Wealthy

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

If only I grew up wealthy, like Richie Rich, then all my problems would melt away. That's what I initially thought as a child and something I explore in my book "Everything but Money," but as it turns out, more money does in fact lead to more problems. Or if not more problems, different ones. To explore this topic further, I want to re-listen to the episode I did with Kristin Keffeler, a family wealth advisor and author of The Myth of the Silver Spoon. In this episode, she shares real-life stories and data to show that growing up with money doesn't necessarily lead to a life free of financial issues and abundant with peace and happiness. After all, money doesn't solve everything.This episode originally aired on February 22, 2023.To find the original show notes for this episode visit, jessicamoorhouse.com/355Follow meInstagram @jessicaimoorhouseThreads @jessicaimoorhouseTikTok @jessicaimoorhouseFacebook @jessicaimoorhouseYouTube @jessicamoorhouseLinkedIn - Jessica MoorhouseFinancial resourcesMy websiteMy bestselling book Everything but MoneyFree resource libraryBudget spreadsheetWealth Building Blueprint for Canadians course Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Lulu, and welcome back to the More Money Podcast. I am your host Jessica Morehouse, and we're doing another Reel Listen episode, one that was such an inspirational episode, and her book was so thought-provoking that I quoted this author in my book, Everything But Money, and she was actually instrumental in hooking me up with a few people to interview for research for the book, which is really exciting. I'm talking about Kristin Kefeler. She was originally on the podcast back in February, 2023. Episode 355 is the episode for that original episode. And she wrote the book The Myth of the Silver Spoon. Now, why I loved her book was there's not lots of personal finance books that really come from the perspective of someone who grew up with wealth or generational wealth,

right? Most books I feel like come from the lens of you don't have anything, this is how you get it. But let's talk about money when you come from, you know, your family has money and guess what? It's not perfect. There's other problems, just different problems. And so it's such a great book that yeah, I quoted her and she was just fantastic. And I love this interview so much. So I can't wait to share it with you once again. And just before I get to that interview, I just want to let you know this episode is airing originally February, this particular one, not the interview. So we're airing this publishing this on February 26th, 2025.

That means that you still have some time to register and come to my Calgary book tour stop. I'm going to be joined by Alyssa Davies from Mixed Up Money. She's also been on the podcast, I think twice now, and she has a couple books, her latest one being Financial First Aid. And there's going to be a couple other Calgary authors that are friends from the podcast. They've all been on the podcast that are going to come to this event too. So some celebrities that you can come. And so I'm going to be at Shelf Life Books and you can find all the information you need about how can I come. And so I'm gonna be at Shelf Life Books and you can find all

the information you need about how can I come. It is a free event, FYI. If you just go to jessicamorehouse.com slash book, doors are at 630. Shelf Life Books is the location and we're gonna have a ton of fun, fireside chat, Q&A, book signing. There's gonna be some treats, there's gonna be some libations, there's going to be some things. So I hope to see you there. JessicaMorhouse.com slash book is where you can find the registration page for that if you're listening to this in real time. If not, I'm sorry you missed it.

And then after that, Ottawa, March 11th, the perfect books and can't wait to announce some other dates in spring summer for other amazing locations in this beautiful country of Canada. Man, it's been such a joy going to so many amazing cities in Canada. I feel so lucky. So this is, this is just like, I don't know. I'm trying to, I don't know if I told you this, but my word of the year is savor. I'm trying to savor things instead of plan, plan, plan, and just think about the future. I'm trying to stay in the moment and I'm savoring this book tour and just this amazing opportunity I have.

So hopefully I can meet you in person. Anymahoo, enough about that. Let's get to this amazing interview with Kristin Keffler. It's the season for new styles and you love to shop for jackets and boots. So when you do, always make sure you get cash back from Rakuten. And it's not just clothing and shoes. You can get cash back from over 750 stores on electronics, holiday travel, home decor and more. It's super easy and before you buy anything always go to Rakuten first.

Join free at rakuten.ca. Start shopping and get your cash back sent to you by check or PayPal. Get the Rakuten app or join at rakuten.ca. R-A-K-U-T-E-N dot C-A. This episode of the More Money Podcast is supported by Go RVing Canada. Did you know that 14% of Canadians own RVs? That's about 2.1 million RVs on the road today. That may surprise you, but not me. RVing is one of my in-laws' favorite pastimes. You see, the RV lifestyle offers something for everyone. Whether you're looking for a weekend getaway, going on a two-week family vacation, or taking

a solo adventure trip, it can provide you with the freedom to go wherever you like, the flexibility to travel on your own schedule, the comfort of home while away from home, and the sheer value since RVing allows you to customize your plans to suit your budget in ways that aren't as easy with traditional ways of traveling. Not to mention, with the Canadian dollar so low and a renewed passion to support Canadian businesses and tourism, there's never been a better time to think about RVing for your next trip. And if you're in the Greater Toronto Area, make sure to check out the Toronto Spring Camping and RV Show, the largest in Canada, from February 27th to March 2nd at the International

Centre in Mississauga. You won't want to miss it, so visit gorvying.ca for more info. And to see a full list of RV shows across Canada, once again, that's gorvying.ca for more info and to see a full list of RV shows across Canada. Once again, that's go rveying.ca. Welcome to the more money podcast, Kristen. I'm so excited to have you on. I have not had anyone on the show to talk about this topic yet, and yet I think it's a really, really important one. So I'm thrilled to have you on the show.

I'm really excited to be on the show. Thank you for having me, Jessica. You're so welcome. So first, before we dive in, I mean, you have a lot of titles, you have a lot of roles, um, what you do now, but they're all pretty, they're pretty unique. When you think of like the financial industry, uh, you may not actually think, uh, of, you know, as someone who is a coach for, you know, the wealthy, the ultra wealthy, but it's important because I was just thinking about this when I was reading your book and a lot of the people

that listen to my show, even myself included, did not come from that place of wealth, but that's something that we aspire to. We would love to be able to do better and especially set up more generational wealth for our kids or grandkids. And we think that is the solution to kind of all of life's problems. If we had more money, we wouldn't have as many struggles and all these things.

I'm curious what kind of, I guess, motivated you to be what you call a human capital coach and family dynamics advisor, but specifically really a consultant for families that are navigating wealth. Yeah. I think that that's a great question because it is so, as you said earlier, the role that I have and the work that I do in this and the market that I work in, it's all so niche, right? Super, super niche. But it is what it looks like. But in reality, it's actually kind of a much bigger space than you would think. And we'll talk a little bit

more about that. But for me, one of the things I think that led me to this work is I find that often people who work in this space of working with high-net-worth families, enterprising families, families that have privately held businesses that are significant, particularly when they work in the human side of things, the technical side is like law, finance, accounting. And I don't come through any of those technical doorways. It's everything I do is around the people in the system. And I find that a lot of times people who are like me who work in that space have some sort of personal story that they're just trying to figure out themselves.

And that leads them to a place where their professional work is ultimately sort of a manifestation of the personal work they're doing. And my story is similar to that. So I'm the second generation in my family, meaning that my father Meaning that my father is a entrepreneur and a wealth creator. The last company that he started, he started with my oldest brother. They took that company public and then they sold it. This was all happening around the time I was going to college. So I'm the youngest of four and my oldest brother is working with my dad. I was really paying attention just to me and all things related to me and went off to college and they were building this company that their

intention unlike many of the families I work with who are working to build businesses that they can pass on as active assets to future generations, my dad's vision was not that. My dad's vision was I want to take dad's vision was, I want to take a company public, and that's what he did. So after four years, three years, it was probably four years, they had grown the company significantly. They took it public and had a successful initial public offering. They had a second public offering, and then a little bit later they sold it. So there was these series of events where wealth events that shifted the narrative around money and wealth in my family. My dad had always been successful, always a C-suite leader, and so my lived experience

of money growing up was really like that was a sort of a non-entity And like I just didn't really pay attention to it not as something really important and not as something that you know, like it was just sort of a non thing for me which Which I know is and I recognize now is a huge privilege, right? Like not worrying about, you know, where food was coming from and the neighborhood that we lived in and the house that we were able to have. Those are all things that were just taken care of and I never considered. But I also never really considered wealth and money as a birthright or as it just didn't register. But then when my dad had taken this company public and sold it and there was these couple

of wealth events and my dad ended up retiring, then my mom retired and they were young, like in their early 50s, mid 50s maybe. They just started doing things that people who have now created fairly significant wealth in their lives, they do. They traveled more and I traveled with them. We already had a nice family home in the mountains here in Colorado, but they sold that and built a bigger splashier thing. So all of these things that were happening, but for me, there were two things that happened. One was this identity journey where I was at this point, I was in school getting a master's in public health.

All of my peers were people who were also interested in public health and interested in going into public service. And the mindset around somebody who's interested in that kind of work is very often really focused not on generating wealth, but on service. So the people that I was surrounded with or people I just adored and I loved the learning and the work we were doing together, but I felt a push-pull between that really, that focus on service and that public health place that I was in in school and this other reality that was my family's unfolding wealth story. And I didn't feel like those two things could coexist.

Like I could be the daughter of a wealth creator in public health school openly. Like I couldn't be out in that way. That felt confusing, but I didn't understand the confusion at the time. So there was this internal journey happening. And then there was this external thing also happening where my parents were early adopters of the idea of family meetings, which is now a much more common practice for families of significance, whether it's business-owning families or wealth-owning families.

But we started meeting as a family to talk about how the estate was structured and understand taxes and understand how things were invested and those kinds of things. I just felt confused time and time again. I didn't, you know, I had an undergraduate degree in human biology and chemistry. I was in school getting an MPH and I ended up also getting a business master's degree. So I had like a little bit of experience and exposure

when I was in business school, but that still wasn't the language of trusts and estates. It's not the language that was really like... So I didn't understand the acronyms that were being used to talk about different estate structures. I didn't understand complex investing. I didn't even understand the language to be able to ask questions so that I could learn. And so there was these, in my 20s, there were these two things that were happening. It was both the inner journey and the impact of that family wealth. It wasn't even my wealth, right?

It's like, I didn't own any of it. I didn't, but there was this family wealth piece that was really, that had an impact for me on relationships and on this sense of having a fully integrated identity. I felt like I was two different people depending on what face, what situation I was in. And then the outer journey of feeling like someone's trying to help me understand this landscape but they're not speaking a language that I can even start to understand. And so how can I become engaged and how can I become a good steward of these resources

when I don't even understand what these people are saying? So ultimately, that quest to understand, understand the inner landscape of money and wealth and kind of what my relationship to that was. And then understand the things that these advisors were talking to us about led me ultimately to the work that I do today. When I was 29, I started my coaching practice that eventually became a consulting firm, and at the start, I just really wanted to work with other rising Gen like me. I wanted to help them shortcut some of the learning that took me so much effort to try

to get around the language and understanding your own personal journey and relationship, being able to create an identity separate from your family so that you can actually stand on your own two feet, follow a path that is meaningful. And if you choose, ultimately, to integrate those resources into your life in a way that is meaningful, but to not over identify with them. So that's the story of how I got into this work. And ultimately it grew so that I was working primarily with just Rising Gen and then realized like, wow, whole family systems need this work.

We need to have broader conversations about what is this for and how can we as a family use the privilege that we have to direct it to something meaningful, like what does meaning look like for us? And so now, 18 years in, this is where the place I get to sit. Like we've said, it's a really unique work and it seems like a pretty niche market. It is a pretty niche market. But I think the impact of this work is significant because of the nature of the fact that these families have really strong social connections. They're broadly socially networked

and they have access to private capital. And between those two things, there's a great power in the money that they have. And how can they use that for good? I mean, yeah, it's interesting because I think a lot of the focus just in the overall personal finance community is wealth building. It's like, we don't have wealth. How do we build it? But there isn't, there aren't too many conversations. I feel like about once you reach that goal, what's next. And I think a lot of us are working for that for us. And then for, you know, our, our, you know, the next generation, but we're not having those conversations about how do we maintain this? But also what would

the impact be? I think, you know, and you really did kind of speak to this in your book, which I'm like, yes, exactly. That's how people think is, you know, we think the solution is just like, if I, you know, set up my kids so they don't have to worry about money, then they'll have no worries that they will have a much better life than I did. They won't have, have the same struggles, but there's other struggles, right? Like everyone has problems. They are just different problems. And I think that's the hard thing because,

and you also talk about this in your book, is no one wants to hear the problems of someone who has wealth. Because we always, I was just reading an article about Prince Harry and Meghan, and no one wants to hear about their problems because, well, this guy's a prince and they've got a mansion and a bunch of money, woe is me. Why would we care?

It's like, well, people have problems and money, money or, or, you know, having that to accumulate that wealth may not be one of their problems, but there's probably other things, um, out there. And similarly his whole thing, I mean, not to talk about Prince Harry, but his whole thing really right now is about trying to create whatever his own personal identity is. And I'm sure a lot of other people that come from that family wealth, they do have, they do struggle on how can I separate myself? And you know, one thing I thought was so interesting in your book is, uh, the idea that they have to kind of one up their, their, you know, their family,

you know, it's like, well, they were able to achieve this, so I should achieve a little bit more, like 10% more. And sometimes that just sounds crazy. Right. Well, and like a nearly impossible or for most people, impossible task. When you think about the how high, if the metric of success is financial, then when you have someone who is a wealth creator, who has been able to generate tens of millions, hundreds of millions, billions of dollars, the amount of money that is just a pure abstraction to us, it's so big. When you think about that, those people are like, it's a very rare subset of people who have the idea, the dedication, the commitment, the willingness, the moment in time that it all comes together to

do that. And then when their kids and their grandkids look at that bar of success and they say, well, my dad or my mom or my grandma was able to do that. Like, what am I, chopped liver? If I just have a job, if I just am like, you know, responsible with my money and raise good kids, is that like not, is that good enough? And, and I think that the, that bar of success can be set so high that, that everybody pales by comparison. And so it really takes that work, like you were talking about with Prince Harry, it takes

that work of really learning who you are as an individual and that you can be both connected to and separate from the bigness and the massiveness of your family lineage. But it's finding that separate from that makes it so, so ultimately you can define what success looks like for you. And it's, from the outside, it would look like, like, hey, money solves so many problems. And it does, right? It

solves so many problems, but it can't solve every problem. And in fact, having it creates some other problems or other challenges. And one of the things that I really wanted to do with this book was to shine a spotlight on some of those other challenges in part because in my experience of coaching Rising Gen for a long time now, there's a quiet suffering that happens because they know that no one wants to hear that they might have challenges, but those challenges are legitimate. And those challenges can tangle them up so much that ultimately, not only do they not live their own authentic life, but the access they have to creating change is really limited because they are so tangled up inside that they can't even use what they've been given in a way

that would be powerful, impactful, joyful. And so it's like that to me, I feel like there's a call to action here, not as a cry for the poor little rich girl or rich boy, but instead for us collectively to have a reckoning of our relationship with money and wealth and to think about how we can heal at all levels on the economic spectrum, heal that relationship so that ultimately we can start to put money into motion in a way that could be beneficial to everyone. If you're at a point in life when you're ready to lead with purpose, we can get you there.

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a ton of traveling this year for my book tour, and the real hard part about it is living out of a suitcase for weeks on end. That's one of the perks of RVing. No suitcases at all because you've got a home on wheels that can take you wherever you want to go. No wonder over 2 million Canadians own RVs. There are just so many benefits to RVing, like being able to take off whenever you like, go on a short weekend getaway, or a longer road trip across the country. And with the Canadian dollar where it is, it might make the most financial sense to redirect your travel plans to something more domestic to stretch your dollar

further. Plus, have you seen Canada? It's absolutely gorgeous! This is all to say that there's never been a better time to think about RVing for your next trip. And if you're in the Greater Toronto area, make sure to check out the largest RV show in Canada from February 27th to March 2nd, the Toronto Spring Camping and RV Show at the International Centre in Mississauga. You won't want to miss it, so visit gorving.ca for all things RVing and to see a full list of RV shows across Canada. Once again, that's go rving.ca. I'm curious, you know, working with so many families, what do you hear the most often at in terms of like some of the challenges they face, especially that, you know, the next things are the

rising gen, as you say. what are some of the things that you hear the most that they struggle with? Yeah, let me first just, let me just name why I say Rising Gen instead of Next Gen, because Next Gen is our sort of common terminology. And one of the primary reasons is that Next Gen always puts a family member in relationship to the wealth creator. So the wealth creator continues to be like this central figure in the whole family narrative, which they are already anyway. But every time we say like, but you're just in relationship to this person. It just anchors this idea that that's part of the role of being in a family is to be part of the team that is rotating around this figure. And Rising Gen has a different,

it's like a Rising Gen is someone who is really willing and able to adopt the psychology of growth and commitment to self while still honoring family and that family narrative. I use Rising Gen not as a euphemism, but actually as a very specific term to really anchor the underlying psychology that is one that I'm in favor of. That's a great question, Jessica. What are some of the common things that's a great question, Jessica. Like what are some of the common things that, that come up for rising gen in these families? And there are a couple, like everybody's got their own unique story. And time and time again, I hear things like, and you know, we were talking about it a little bit ago about that bar of success.

Like the shoes, the shoes of my parents or grandparents, they're too big to fill. I remember very early on in my coaching, I was talking to a fifth generation family member who I had been coaching for a while. She was about to do it. She was in her 24, when she turned 25, she was going to get a pretty significant trust distribution. It was the first one that she was ever getting. I think it was $500,000 or something, which a 25-year-old getting $500,000, that's pretty significant. As the time got closer for that, she got more and more anxious.

And as we were talking about it, she finally said, I have no idea if I can do good by this money. I don't know if I feel ready to receive it. And she was very responsible. She wasn't worried that she was going to blow it, but she was like, how do I do something more than just receive it and have it be sort of this inner thing that I'm consuming? And she was thinking about her grandparents. Remember, she's a fifth generation. So she's had all these people to see in front of her. And she was feeling very paralyzed. And she was the first person I ever heard say, those shoes, like receiving

that money means I have to step up and I don't know how to. Those shoes seem too big. So that's one. The other one, and I alluded to this a little bit ago in this idea of identifying with wealth. And one of the things I see is very often rising gen family members will do one of two things. There's this continuum of over identifying with family wealth, wealth that you haven't earned yourself. And where it's like, that is part of me. I am this family. You internalize that sense of being from a wealthy family and having wealth as part of just who you are.

And then there's this other side, which is under-identifying with wealth. And I see this a lot with Rising Gen, who will move across the country. They'll try to get, you know, they'll move out of the country to try to get away from a significant family name, even if they love their family. They're just like, I'm tired of being known as a whatever family in my community. Everybody knows me. Everybody knows my family's wealthy. In under identifying with wealth, they will work really hard to create distance from it. And in both cases, there's the shadow side of,

there's not a healthy integration of that story. And without a healthy integration of that story and a healthy relationship with the money from the family, it is not a tool for good, right? It's still something, this force that is directing the individual in a way that they probably don't feel fully at choice. They don't feel like they are their own self. And so that's the second thing I hear a lot is just, or I see a lot is this sort of over-identifying and under-identifying with wealth. And I think that those are some of the key things I'll see.

But I also often will hear Rising Gen say, I don't know if I have any really good friends. I don't know how to suss out, to be really discerning. Which feels crazy to you and me sitting here where it's like, yeah, you know whether someone's an authentic friend or not, but those are built skills over time. I if, and you know, I think about, I think about an elementary school and middle school and those tough times of relational dynamics. And when you're getting a sense for, when someone is a real friend, how do they treat you versus when someone is sort of, you know, what I would call the near enemy of a friend, which is like, it looks like a friend, but they're not really there to like be with you in the toughest times.

And I think, and I use this term that the term near enemy is a Buddhist term that the concept is like, it looks like the thing, but it's not quite the thing, right? So it looks like an authentic friend, but it's not quite an authentic friend. an authentic friend, but it's not quite an authentic friend. And a lot of times, because we collectively have this relationship with money and wealth that has a lot of shadows, the people who the rising gen who have been raised in situations where they have wealth will name that they are not exactly sure if the people who are around them, their friends, the people they're dating, really love them for them or love that they have a cool house with cool things, they go on fun vacations, right? Is it really like a genuine friendship or is it like they're sort of enamored with that wealthy

lifestyle as well? And so that's another one that I think is, um, is, is painful and it's an, and it, it can be a tough one to build, but it ultimately is an essential skill to have that discernment in order to find peace on the path. Do you find it common with rising Jen that they want to try to like hide their wealth just so they, cause you always hear stories about that like, Oh, and then we discovered so and so actually has a lot of wealth and he hit, you know, hit it because he wanted people to like him for him. Is that a common scenario? Super common, super common. I was just in a conversation with a, with a woman this week who is a third generation, she's 42, she's a successful attorney,

and she has wealth from both sides, her mom and her dad who are not married anymore have both generated significant wealth and she's got multiple generations of wealth coming down on her dad's side. So access, so she has in her name tens of millions of dollars of trusts and has a very conflicted relationship with all of it. And she was saying, we were talking about that relationship piece,

and she was saying that she said, I've been really trying to challenge myself. I mean, she's 42, right? So she's lived a lot of adult life in quote unquote, in the closet, like, just, you know, have not sharing her story with people who are very close to her because she didn't want to be judged by that. She wanted to know that these people were her friends, the people she was dating or dating her because they wanted to be with her. people she was dating or dating her because they wanted to be with her. And she said that she'd been challenging herself to share more with her friends. And she's like, even people I really consider close friends, I have vulnerability hangovers after I will share just a little bit. She said, I finally told one of my friends, like, I feel like I'm sending you a naked picture of myself and you can do with it whatever you want, right? Like you might share it with all sorts of people and that's how vulnerable

it feels. And you think about like just like there's something that is very healthy about wanting to protect that story and vet the people in your life first. So I don't advocate to the Rice Engine I work with that they should just go display that and be like, eh, let's see what happens. I feel like that is a tender, everybody has their own story and around everybody has their own story. Everybody has their own money story

that they've inherited from their family lineage that has all sorts of entanglements because we tend to have a pretty complex relationship with money. And we don't have to go share that on every first date and every, when a friendship is unfolding. And there is this part, it's like the moments when we share whatever is important and tender to us in a relationship, when you feel like there's enough social capital to do it, and you share, it can be terrifying. And one of the things that Rising Gen run into is that because collectively we have the shadowy relationship with money and definitely a confused relationship with those who have wealth.

Like it's something we both envy and disdain at the same time. That it feels even extra vulnerable because they're like, okay, now I'm, I'm going to reveal myself as, and, and this person may now judge me differently or think that I was lying to them about who I really am when I'm just protecting this part of me. And it's like very, very big minefield. Yeah. So what I mean, you know, it seems like there's just like, yeah, a lot of, a lot of emotions and, you know, I'm just thinking of like, you know, a lot of guilt and shame and, you know, it's uncomfortable because yeah, I think as a society, we have a weird relationship with the wealthy. We want it, but then we also kind of, uh, you know, hate people who have it if we don't have it, you know? So it's, it's like, it's kind of conflicting.

So, you know, I do think when, you know, let's say we are lucky enough to get to that stage where we are able to build wealth and pass it on, What can we do better as those wealth creators to set up the next generation so they don't have as many hangups? Is it possible or is the issue so big because a lot of the issues come just with like society's kind of, you know, outlook on wealth? God, such a great question. I absolutely think it's possible to do this well as parents. And I think, you know, like all things, we can't ask our children to do something that we can't role model to them, right?

We can't ask them to be more vulnerable or more gritty or more courageous than we are also able to role model and be ourselves. So I think the same applies to this idea of how do we help tend to our families in a way that they can have a healthier relationship with money and ultimately with the wealth we might pass on. I think the first answer is, to think that means and doing your own inner work around money is a huge step forward. Because then when you get to that place where you can look around and say, wow, I have amassed enough money that I have security for as long as I can see it. Now I have the ability to pass resources on to my kids. And that feels like a huge accomplishment.

And it is a huge accomplishment. And when you can do that and have a healthy relationship with it, then you can have conversations with your kids about that because you'll naturally be role modeling that. One of the things that I also think is really important to recognize for parents who are parenting in the space of financial resource is that

one of the things that money can do is create a buffering effect in our lives for all of us. And it can really, but for those who have created the wealth, they've learned a lot of lessons that that buffering effect is different. They've probably learned to be gritty. They've learned to have a growth mindset and keep striving even when things are difficult and when they feel failure, they get up and they try again. Once you have wealth, and they try again. Once you have wealth, you have to parent in a way that is more intentional towards those character strengths and skills. I talk about this in the book, so it's a great resource for your listeners as they are starting to parent in the space and thinking about setting themselves up well and their families up well, that to parent in the space of wealth,

me, like kids who are parented in wealthy families don't need different, they don't need to achieve different developmental milestones than every kid needs. Like kids just, like there's a developmental path that we all need to follow and certain things we need to learn along the way. Wealth creates this buffer that can rob children and adolescents and young adults of the opportunities

to build some of those key things. And so parents who are parenting in that space need to be mindful that just because you can do something, you know, that just, you can do something, that just we could think of any number of examples, just because you can buy a brand new car for your kid, doesn't necessarily mean you should. What is it that you're trying to parent for? Do you want them to have some skin in the game?

Do you want them to drive some skin in the game? And do you want them to drive a brand new fancy car? Or do you want them to have a safe vehicle that can get them around that they can feel like they have true ownership over? And really being thoughtful about parenting based on values, not based on circumstances, is one of the ways that we can create a much healthier environment inside our own family ecosystems. Because ultimately, there is this cultural piece that is going to require our kids to be ready to really sort of own their own identity, own their own story, because we can't change

all that. I mean, hopefully we will continue to make inroads on our collective relationship with money. But, but until that shifts, there's an opportunity for families to create a really healthy ecosystem so that it's not so confusing for kids. Yeah. No, I think that's, that's so, so important. And again, something that we don't often talk about.

And it's awkward to talk about. Yeah. Like we kind of touched on at the beginning of this episode, no one, um, we always talk about the lack of wealth or building wealth, but once you have it, no one really wants to talk about it. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I think there's a lot of work we need to do in conversations that still need to be had so we can all, like you said, as a collective have a healthier relationship with both sides of wealth because yeah, I ultimately, and I talk about this on the show all the time, money is simply a tool and it's a tool that you can't take with you once your time is done.

And so it's so important to not just, you know, build your wealth and that's the solution. It's no, like, no, the whole point of building wealth is so you can then use it for a tool to, you know, either better your community, better your family, your situation, like use it in a, as a positive force. Cause like you said, a lot of the families that have significant wealth, they have significant power. And I've seen, we've all seen examples in the media of,

you know, those families or institutions that have used it for not so good reasons, for, you know, reasons you're like, gosh, if I had that opportunity, I'd probably do things differently. So I think having those conversations, you know, with yourself, but also, yeah, with the rising gen is so important to build that better world that we all kind of hope to achieve one day. Yeah. Yeah. It is such a, I think it's such a rich terrain.

As I said at the very beginning, the work I do is in this really niche market, but I alluded to this idea that it actually has such broader application. And I think that you and I have touched on many of the themes here today that are about that broader application, because it really is about health and healthy relationships with money across the spectrum. And that there's no doubt that those who hold wealth hold a lot of power. And when we are in a darker shadowy place around that, that power either becomes stagnant or can get used in ways that don't shine the light on everyone. And so there's a different way.

And this is part of the path, I think. And I think part of the ability to build wealth well, like to attract money in that way, comes from having a really healthy relationship with it. Absolutely, absolutely. So before I let you go, where can people find more information about you specifically and grab a copy of your book, The Myth of the Silver Spoon? Yeah, thank you.

So you can find more about me on, so my website is illumination, I L L U M I N A T I O N 360. So illumination360.com. You can also buy the book there, but it's also available on all major booksellers. So Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your favorite local bookstore, go ask them. I bet they will get a copy for you. And I'm on LinkedIn. I'm not so great as the millennial crowd on all the rest of the social media.

I get so overwhelmed with the input of it all that I decided I can't do it, but I am on LinkedIn and under Kristen Keffler, K-E-F-F-E-L-E-R. Perfect. Well, thank you so much, Kristen, for taking the time to talk about this really important topic that, um, you know, again, we don't talk enough about, but I think it's, you know, and you even said in your book, there aren't that many books about this topic and there should be, because how are we going to have those conversations when

there aren't too many guides out there to, you know, help us kind of navigate it. So I appreciate you coming on the show to show to shine a light on this topic. Absolutely, Jessica. Thank you. This has been really delightful. I love the work that you're doing. I love that you are creating a positive path forward to wealth creation for a whole new generation of people who are thinking about it in new and empowering ways. So thank you for doing the work you do. Thank you. And there you have it. The original episode number for this interview I did with Kristin Keffler was episode 355.

So if you want to check out the show notes for this original episode, go to JessicaMoorhouse.com slash 355. And if you ever want to know the show notes for any episode, just go to jessicamorehouse.com slash podcast. That is where you can find everything. And also make sure to grab a copy of her amazing book that I quoted in my book, The Myth of the Silver Spoon. It is really, really a great read. And you can find out more about her company, Illumination360, where she helps rising gen, enterprising families,

and affluent families at illumination360.com. And speaking of books, I've got a book too. It's called Everything But Money, The Hidden Barriers Between You and Financial Freedom. It is out now. It's a bestseller, y'all. And I am on the road on my book tour to spread the word. I just finished events in Toronto, Victoria, and Vancouver. I'm coming to Calgary February 27th.

So if you're listening to this, the day it comes out, you may be able to join me if you're in Calgary. And I'm also coming to Ottawa on March 11th. And I will be announcing more dates, more locations across Canada very soon. But for the time being, those are the two events that are coming up. And if you're in the area, I'd love for you to come. So you can learn more at jessicamorehouse.com slash book.

Also get on my email list so you can find out any new dates. Jessica Morehouse.com slash subscribe or follow me on Instagram at Jessica I Morehouse. But if you are in Calgary, Ottawa and you want to join me, JessicaMorehouse.com slash book has the links to their Eventbrite pages so you can save your seat. And you know, maybe you can't make it or I'm not coming to a city near you yet, but you've already read my book and thank you so much for supporting me. Did you know though, if you give me a review, you can access all of these exclusive extras I made for the book that, you know, there's videos,

there's audio, there's worksheets. I originally made them for anyone who pre-ordered my book, but now I wanna give you access to all of these amazing things. So if you go to also jessicamorehouse.com slash book, you will find a button that will show you what to do. Basically, all you have to do is give me a rating or review on the platform of your choice. Amazon, Indigo, Goodreads are kind of the top three that will help me,

you know, push my book into the algorithm to get more people to discover my book. And you just have to fill in your name, email, screenshot of your rating or review. And then you'll get instant access to all of my exclusive extras. So you can just get a little bit more out of my book and just go through the exercises and just get a little something extra, why not? So jessicamorehouse.com slash book

is where you can find all of that info. Now for what's to come next week, well, I've got a really special episode. It is another re-listen episode, but it is a very special one close to my heart. A lot of you really enjoyed the episode, the re-listen episode I did with my pater- or my maternal grandfather, Jacques Hardy. And you know, part of his story was in my book.

And thank God for that podcast recording because it really helped me kind of just decipher some really important details about his story. And you can listen to that. That was like a couple episodes ago. Original episode was episode 29. In the same year I recorded that episode with my grandfather, I also recorded an episode with my paternal grandmother, Audrey Morehouse. And she has a very interesting life as well. And she's just so lovely. And she's unfortunately the only grandparent I still have alive.

She's turning 90 this July, which I'm really excited about. So I'm gonna visit her in BC for her special birthday. And she is an avid reader. And so it's really special that I have a grandparent who is able to read my book and send me emails and tell me what she thinks. And so we're going to go back in time and listen to that interview I did with her about her story immigrating to Canada from Scotland and what life is like in retirement and just her money story. So that is what we have to look forward to next week. And I can't wait to share it with you. So that is what we have to look forward to next week

and I can't wait to share it with you. So that is it for me. Thank you so much for listening and supporting this podcast. I hope I get to meet you in person on my book tour and I will see you back here next Wednesday with another episode of the More Money Podcast. The More Money Podcast would not be possible

without the amazing talents of podcast producer Matt Rideout, who you can find at mravcanada.com.