Morning Good - A Vote For Satan - Episode 242

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Levi White and Paddy Defino join the show for today's episode. They talk about Italian-American doctors,  extreme haunted houses, and accidentally doing meth.Thanks to Paddy and Levi for coming back on the show. Check them out on previous episodes and hit their links down below for more. Paddy is on Instagram @paddy_is_funky and hosts News From Bed on YouTube. Levi is on Instagram and Reddit @levithewhite.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, good, good. Oh, I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to morning. It seems like we're all coming in here with a great attitude today. It seems like nobody here is tired or bummed or hiding, being deeply depressed. We're all in a great fucking. mood and we're gonna, yeah, we're Levi-White and Patty Defino.

And, uh, yeah. You're gonna smoke at Sigs? It'd be, it'd be a lot cooler if we were smoking six. Dude, I want to, so, I have, like, horrible throat problems, just always. And I never get any, I keep going to the doctors. Doesn't mean we can't sweat. No, yeah, you guys can blow the smoke right in my mouth. Yeah, who cares about that?

But, uh, no, it's like, I keep going to the doctors and they're just like, I don't They're like, I don't know, here's any... Like, Dostom, they're like... Yeah, they're like antibiotics. They never know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's because doctors now are like... It's like the girl who is like obsessed with, like, horses and stuff in school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they would, like, bring, like, hair from her horse, like, into school. And it's like... Yeah. Now she's a doctor. You should have to be an old guy to be a doctor. These are kind of real... I keep getting...

With long... Balls. Old long doctor balls. Yeah, that should be part of that. Dude, I remember first time I went in for, like, COVID. like I got sick like three days before the whole world shut down and this guy's like bro have you been to Italy I was like no he goes have you been to China

I was like now he goes you don't got COVID and that was literally didn't even test me for COVID or anything and then I like for sure probably had fucking COVID I can give you antibiotics but what you need is known as meatballs I would be nervous about like an Italian doctor like giving me surgery like I need my like a new appendix or liver or whatever

and he's got the liver and he just thinks it's like Veal Parmesan. We got breadcrumbs on this. Mass. Seasoning my inside. Yeah. Oh, there's some good, you got a lot of sauce. What type of sauces he got in here?

Type A? Okay. Dude, what I was watching was so silly today. So Trump is just going on the funniest tours. Now, he went to a, like, a Hispanic barber shop in the Bronx today. And it was one of the best things. we're seeing. He's like, love this guy, love you guys. He's like, this guy's, look at this guy over here.

This guy's the best. He goes, who's, he's taught. It's very funny because, like, either, I don't know what's happening where, like, people don't realize that they're being talked down to, but when a grown man comes to your barber, goes, is he the best or who's the best barber? I'm like, that's the same way you talked about, like, a fucking little kid's, like, bleak.

And he walks in, he's like, he's like, I am just like you guys. We all grew up the exact same way. I'm like, that's insane. These are like Hispanic barber. Did they, like, give him a, like a thing of my face

dude a lightning bolt oh that'd be sick as hell dude that would be sweet a bullet just a whiz of a bullet by his head

with like a 47 in grade yeah god dude you could start for the New Orleans saints

with a haircut like that yeah dude it was just so funny to hear I'm just be like we know

we grew up exactly the same my dad worked in condition this is there can not be a farther

person that you a Mexican barber from the fucking brags so did he cut anyone's hair

No, but it was funny, though. He goes, I'd get my haircut here. And I'm like, no, you fucking want it. You would not do it. But I'd be so funny to watch him do it. That'd be awesome. He should go bald. He should just shave it all off, I think.

Yeah, well, those pictures of him look fucking sick where he has a beard and then ball in the top. Yeah. I don't think he can grow a beard. I don't think he can grow a beard. I don't think me and him are going to be this. Like, I'm going to be him in like 15 years. Did you get a haircut, by the way? I did get a haircut.

Looks nice, dude. Thanks, buddy. Yeah. Dominican Barbershop. Oh, yeah. I want to say this, I looked at a podcast from exactly a year from now, or a year ago from here. It was like peak break, or I was two days before moving out of my apartment, I knew I was going to the breakup. And me and Patty looked so young and full of life.

And I don't know what happened over this last year, but we have fucking aged, dude. I looked at this one year. It was sad to hear it. It was depressing to look at. I was looking at this picture. I go, oh, my God. Don't look at me like that. I was just going to say, I think you look the same

piety. I don't know. Wider. Wiser. That's me. I just keep getting wider. I'm acquiring knowledge. That's what I say when I order Uber Eats to my bedroom. This is knowledge. These are all books in here, guys. That's why it's so heavy.

Just eating recipe books? I like how Chick-fil-I did give up on that thing. There used to be like a Chick-fil-A thing where they'd give you like a little Bible story. And then you, but then they were like, people got annoyed by it. And they're like, well, you can trade this in for ice cream. So every time I would just trade in the Bible book for ice cream.

Which is a really funny way to sell out. You're like, yeah, here's this or we could just, you could just say, I don't want this. Ice cream. Yeah. Can I go back to this Trump thing? Yeah, yeah. Because I saw that movie, The Apprentice.

Oh, yeah. So I'm with Kiwi. And Kiwi, I think Kiwi was like low-key trying to get me to not like Donald Trump. Yes. because it's a hit piece on Donald Trump. And this is how I know. There's a scene where his first wife, I think, is Ivana. Is that his first wife?

Whose tits are revealed in the movie, by the way. Okay, revealed? Pretty cool. Like it's a twist. Like, she's got pretty tits. Oh, I didn't see that coming. But there's a scene in the movie. And after the scene, I'm like, there's no way this.

actually happened. But there's a scene where he's like laying on a couch, reading a newspaper in like a robe. And Ivana walks up to him and is like wearing like a sexy lingerie thing and hands him this book about

the like the G spot, like finding the G spot. And he proceeds to throw the book punch Ivana. Knock her to the ground and rape her. I'm not kidding.

I'm not kidding. I thought this was a comedy. No, it's like, it's supposed to be like, this is how Donald Trump came to be, you know? Yeah, yeah. But he just rapes his wife.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know if that's, if that happened. And if it didn't happen, like, whoever made this movie should be put in jail.

Well, they are really shooting. Like, you gotta have, dude, if you're making something like that, you gotta have some pretty clear evidence before you like that. Yeah. It's very funny, though,

to make that line. Like, if I made like a movie about Patty where he just like rapes 10 women I'm like no no no this is fiction I filled in a couple of points yeah you gotta have some fucking strong yeah yeah yeah because there's also

like tons of times in the movie where they're just having a cut it's like him and one other person having a private conversation yeah and they're just saying the most foul things like ever to each other and I'm like which one of these people told you that information

yeah that's why I pretend it is nice to just have your most vile conversations on Like every, yeah, yeah. I'm way nicer off this. Yeah, I'm saying, like, can I call this guy a fucking bitch? Yeah, yeah. That's not what I was going to say. Listen, people were laughing at my man in the theater and I wasn't very happy about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And people were like sighing and groaning when he did something. I was like, it's a movie. Yeah. It's not actually happening. Yeah. I know he looks like Donald Trump. Yeah.

It's not. Anyway, I'm voting for Kamala Harris. Yeah. I saw this one. Yeah, I don't know who that movie, I guess an undecided voter who now thinks he like, it's crazy because they,

they filmed it two years ago, and they just released it for like this just to like sway the... Yeah. Well, they heard, Am I racist came out? Yeah, we gotta counter that. Yeah, with I am racist.

That's the sequel to I am robot. Jews. Terminate Jews. I never saw... I wonder if that gets flagged. Terminate Jews. because it's not, you're not, it's kind of almost a phrase that maybe hasn't even been used enough to like...

Yeah. Also, why is it called an ex-terminator? No, no, no, ex-terminate the Jews has been used, but not termite. Wasn't it really ex-terminating and terminating? Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Wouldn't, like, someone who kills a bunch of rodents be a rodent terminator? Yeah. An ex-terminator. That means, like, formerly...

Right, they're in agony. They don't terminate anymore. Yeah, I don't do that shit anymore. I used to be the dominator. Now I'm not. I did not like it. It was a bad line of work. He cannot get me to terminate again.

It hurt my heart every person I killed. I'm going to need you to renegotiate my contract. I just wanted to say renegotiated. He like, I mean, I know his dad was a Nazi. Yeah. Schwarzenegger? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. With a name like that. With that name. Very close. see black people think kind of vague, like, obviously they didn't like them. But I heard there's weird stuff where like the Nazis sent out some letters to

black people, and they were like, hey, we actually like black people in Germany. But they're probably just trying to lure her. Like, I don't know if, can you look up of any black people died in the Holocaust? I mean, I have my phone. I have to look it up. Oh, God. You need those cookies. I'm sure

they did. By the way, this conversation has probably happened nine times in the morning Although the, you know, during, you know, Hitler's reign, they did have the Olympics, so maybe they were trying to get some wins. That's true. You know, head of the curve. I feel like they killed a lot of different types of people. They probably tested out the ovens a couple of times. They're like, we want to make sure this really gets the juice.

Let's throw in like, let's throw in somebody who's not. Let's see how this oven works. Yeah, yeah. On black people. Yeah. We got to make sure. It's not hot enough. The Nazi persecution.

When the Nazis came to power in 1933, they were thousands of black people living in Germany. Wow. Dude, this is a wild thing to think about. People as racially inferior, obviously. Obviously, they thought that. I'm not saying obviously they are. Well, I'm like, obviously.

True facts, facts. Key facts, the Nazis harassed and discriminated against black people in Germany. Okay, well, I guess what I was saying was nonsense. Did they get weird of dwarfs in the Holocaust? that seems like it was. Oh, so they just got harassed. Yeah.

And they were like, hey, we don't like you. They just got harassed. Yeah. They were like, turn your music down. You guys are too loud. A black guy with a grandma phone walking down the street. Hello, my baby. Hello, my baby.

Just use fucking headphones. Harass me sounds like they were just pinching their ass. Yeah. That seems like the best possible room in Auschwitz. Yeah. sexual harassment well I wonder like like dwarfs

had to have been killed in the Holocaust too right? Because like anybody with deformities like were there no there had to be dwarfs in Germany

yeah but I think they tossed him in the oh come on sprinkles I think the dwarfs were the ones running the train okay

just the jump about them the shovel could probably go nowhere scary there's a dwarf driving this train yeah

this will be fun we go to Sam's workshop I'm a boy Just one of those little mall trains. We're going to Candyland. A mall train. Yeah, a mall train. Just an evil Nazi dwarf.

God, that's crazy. Imagine that's your last ride. Is the train? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. That's what the band train got their name after. Yeah. Yeah.

They're like, what's the most bad-eyed? A train. That's right. What songs does train have? Hey, soul's this to... Okay, so every shitties... Were they drops of Jupiter? Yeah, yeah.

I'll just say, hey, let's come. I always mix them in Maroon 5 together. Yeah, I also, like, I go back on music. I'll, like, hate music like that for, like, nine years, and then randomly something will come on. Like, you know, this is in a holy grail today with Justin Timberlake. It's amazing. It's amazing.

You know that one? Oh, yeah. And I just care. Yeah, I was like, holy fuck. Also, I think I'm going through some sort of up and down emotion thing where I'll like just love a song for like a day. And then the next day I'll be like, this is fucking garbage. That happened to be like a month ago, I sent like 10 people this band.

And then I listened to it the next day. I was like, this is the worst fucking bullshit ever. If I like a song, like a lot, I'll listen to it on repeat like 50 times in a row. Yeah. Oh, and then you record it just for that one like chorus where it's like, I did that. And you're like, yeah. There's like one spot.

Yeah. Yeah. I did that today with a song. It's like some dub step song. Yeah. M song. There's like a heavy drop. And I was just standing on the train platform.

Nice new haircut. Just like. Yeah. Just staring at Japanese women. Yeah. Bang a rang bass. Dude, I was listening to that.

It's so funny because I get how dubstep is like not considered good music. like I'm just like this is the best sounding music. I think my favorite genre of music. It sounds like what you think laser tag is. Yeah. It's like very, it's like transformer. If transformers made music. Yeah.

I want to go to fucking laser tag. Everything's so expensive. I did the haunted house this weekend. It was fucking $50. I did Blood Manor. By the way, the girl I tried to talk her initially. I was scared. So I tried to talk her into the Jimmy Fallon Hotted House.

Like initially I was like, look, Blood Manor sounds fun. Did I talk to you about this? this is how scared Michael was he went on YouTube and looked up all of the jump out scary I was like I ought to be prepared for this like read the scouting report of

the corner three oh yeah I could have expected that and ghost with a chainsaw yeah I got like fucking I was so scared I got fucking hammered

because I was like trying to not look like a pussy and then it was not scared like they're way less scary than you remember them being like I remember them Well, they're for like children, right? For the most. I mean, not really.

I mean, there's people's like eyeballs falling out and like people getting their heads cut off. But I just heard the name and the reviews were like, every review for a hot house, like, this is the scariest thing in my life. And I was like, fuck, dude. Yeah, well, I'm, I told him, like, when we were like kids, they had this thing called Ripley's haunted adventure in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. And like, the guy running it was, like, discouraging people from going in just so he could be proud of how scary it was. He's like, yeah, no, I saw an ex-marine firefighter come out crying. from this place. It's a pretty terrifying

place to be in. And I was like, fuck, dude. This is like, I can't, I'm like, what do I think I'm braver than an ex-marine firefighter? What's in there?

Like an Arab that's on fire? Yeah, I can't do my job, but I want to do it. His wife fucking his best friend. Didn't you say there's like a haunted house where like, it's like a psychological thing

where they like, you have to like sign a waiver or something? Oh, you did Bain, right? I had a bane. That was a cool one. You had to sign shit. They could like touch you and all this shit. They separate you from your person.

Where can they touch you? It's like your shoulders. Okay. Does it specifically say your shoulders? I mean, that seems like a great gig for somebody just to find. But they make you like get down on your knees and shit. Yeah. They make you get on your knees? Yeah. There was like a big altar and some like ghost up there and they made everyone get on their knees. You prayed? You did satanic worship?

Of course, dude. I don't know if we can have you back on this pod, dude. This is a pretty Christian podcast. It's an anti-the-devil podcast. Strong take, I don't like Satan. I don't know why that's even controversial these days. Kamala is always just like, yeah, we should fucking vote for Satan. I know, dude.

Yeah, vote for Kamala is a vote for Satan is what I've always said. Well, guess what? You're voting for Satan. Hook him horns. Yeah. Yeah, I just got it. I got, like, so hammered in there. And I don't know.

I was like, but it was just very fun. Like, they have drinks there? No, you just drink a bunch before. So you don't look like a fucking pussy with a girl you're going with. It was all just too. I was just like, I'm like sick right now. And I was like, I cannot get drunk tonight. But I'm like, I am too scared to get on this haunted house.

Yeah. But you know what I would argue? It's because I have such, you know, I have such caveman like instincts that I'm always prepared for danger. So actually somebody who gets scared at jump scare is actually just more. more of an alpha male. That's true. I can't remember if I said this before, but when I was like in high school

with my high school girlfriend, we went to like a haunted hayride thing with like some of our friends. And it was like during a time when she was on, she started taking birth control. And like one of her boobs was growing bigger. Yeah.

And that was exciting. Yeah. I like that. You're like, you might be on this side. So literally like, I just sat behind her on the hayride. She was like between my legs. And every time there's a jump, I was like, oh.

She's like, I know what you're doing. I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I'm like clearly given the bigger one. Like I'm kind of lingering on that one a little longer. Trying to squeeze it so they even out. Mush them together.

Get that liquid over to the other side. What's going on? And then she broke up with me before I got to see. the other one. That's a shame. Come into form, yeah. I shouldn't ask how it's doing. Yeah.

He's still lopsided. The thing I was poised about is this one had like halfway through. They give you 3D glasses and that was so sick because the dude's costumes would have like three designs on it. So you're all like walking around. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. My favorite one I went to, I went to one in Gatlinburg because I was too scared to do Ripley's

haunted. I'll go back one day. I'll go back. I'll go back. Isn't Ripley's? like it's like the guy with like a big tongue and stuff. Isn't that like, believe it or not?

Yeah. The guy who like swallowed his nose. Right. Which isn't scary. It's just beautiful. But yeah. Yeah. So it's not,

it's like a freak show kind of. No, no, no, but this is just like, it's, it's just like, it's brand and they did a haunted house.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's not like, you know, you go in there and then it's like two Siamese twins and you're like, ah,

it's disgusting. Oh, incest. Yeah, kill them. Oh, yeah. That's what I figured it was. Yeah, yeah, but like, yeah, I'm going to take a solo trip there and just fly out to face my fears. Yeah, to get right to the door and then be like, nah, no. Yeah, never mind.

Yeah, but we went to the competing haunted house, which is just called like Hotted, way less cool name, like Gatlinburg Mansion or whatever. And it was just one guy with all these, like, holes in the walls. Like one guy was just popping out, but it was just a maze of him going from room to room. I'm back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we said Ripley's and he got so mad. But his advertising was so funny because clearly he's competing with Ripley's Haunted Adventure. So he was like climbing a telephone pole outside, like trying to be stupid.

Yeah. Crazy work. Like, you could tell this guy is just like blood, sweat and tears, years of haunted house and his family. And then just that reminded me of like with the holes in the wall. Do you know those things at zoos where like the otters like stick their hands out? Yeah. And people like that joke. Wouldn't it be funny if an otter just like stuck as a stick to him.

A woman like... Am I supposed to? Lick it. Lick it. Yeah, bitch. Oh my God. I said a buddy in mind, there's a video of a... There's video of a monkey sucking his own penis.

And I was like, I said to my buddy, and then I realized I'm like, this is almost like, this is almost child porn. A monkey's sucking his own penis. Because this monkey's like almost a human and he's like probably like... That's definitely weird. But uncle... But monkeys are like, they're small and they can look young, but they still look like ancient, wise. Right. So it feels a little bit.

But the second I sensed it, I was like, this is, I don't know, it was funny when I first saw it. Then I looked at it again, I was like, this feels a little weird. Yeah, he doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah. He doesn't know the joy he's bringing me. Yeah. Some of the other men in the song. It was a really funny meme because the meme's like, imagine talking shit about me and I'm just in my room like this.

And it's just about his own dick. They really do it all. explore every crevice. Dude, they are, yeah, yeah. They're like unintentionally doing all kinds of weird sex stuff. I sent you that video of the, it's like a woman like crying in front of a camera and her pet monkey keeps jumping off of her.

Just bouncing around. I was trying to write a bit about how like, I'm just kind of sick of my own problems. So I just want to get an orangutan just to have a refreshing set of problems to deal with. You know what I mean? Like, because it's just, but I realized how, much it probably sucks to have your life falling apart, but then also an orangutan.

You're like, you know what I mean? It's a massive thing. Yeah. I would be so scared. Yeah. Just look at its face. Even their faces are like,

they have like no soul in those eyes. Yeah. They're, I don't know. It's weird that, let's just domesticate them or make, or maybe, like why can't we,

you know, there's dwarf humans. Are there dwarf chimps that we could have that just don't get any bigger? I don't know. I don't know how you could be so violent without even, knowing of the perils in Israel and Palestine.

What is fueling his anger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just see somebody's ear and they're like, I'm going to rip that off so far. For no reason at all. They're like, literally, I cannot wait to bite that man's penis. For zero reason at all. It looks kind of fun.

They probably look at humans the way we look at like a candle that has like wax coming off of it. And like we can see it. We're like, get the fucking shit off of here. I want a smooth cylinder in front of me. Yeah.

That guy would look better with no ears attached to his bed. And no nose. He'll finally hear what I'm saying. Ooh, ooh, ah. I want a banana. That was the dumbest shit when there was an orangutan

that like, I think its words were like, orange give me orange, orange give me orange everybody's like so fucking smart I'm like fucking what I mean they are like kind of smart but I don't know they're still like they're not even close to us I saw someone with a dog

we need to remind them that more often I think we need to go to zoos what that they're less than us yes we need to let's start on our shit at them yeah I don't think I could do that if I tried my hand I think with my hand over there it's almost like a garage door thing where it will not allow me to shit in my hands. Yeah, if they're so smart,

when that chimp ripped that woman's face off and we killed it, we should have brought that chimp to the other chimps and been like, this is what happens when you rip a woman's face off. Yeah. They could comprehend that.

Maybe, I don't know. Throw them in the alligator pit. Yeah. Every chimpanzee in a zoo has to watch a video. That's how, by the way, every zoo should be like before an animal dies.

They go right in the alligator pit. Yeah, that is kind of sick. You just throw it. That's their, like, send off, you know? Do you think the, They're ever thrown somebody in like a zoo alligator pit? I bet that's a good one. That's cool as hell.

Gatorland? Wait, wait, wait. Oh, I think that happened in Goodfellas. They do that. Yeah, yeah. I really threaten them with it. They didn't actually do it? No, I don't think so.

Everything I think is like an original idea. And you're like, you're just describing the godfather and Forrest Gump. I'm like, oh, okay, my bad. What of a retarder ran a lot? Every fucking time I think I'm like, yeah, this is, what about a movie where like a guy's disabled and then he falls in love with a chick and then gets a... Every time Penn hits paper, I have somebody else's idea. It is kind of crazy, like a retarded guy getting AIDS. It's like...

Well, they never make it clear. You know, that's a very unclear part of the movie. Does Forrest have AIDS? No. No, he doesn't have AIDS. Yeah, but... They never say it's eight. He wants him, though.

He's chasing that bug. He's trying. Forrest Gump. This just didn't... Forrest Gump is a bug chasing. Genades. Well, that's the thing is... I don't know when she, like, caught it.

Well, it's also, like, just hard. You don't know what she caught it? Black Panthers. I'm trying to figure out if it was, like, when in the movie do they fuck? Maybe she was the one who fucked the monkey. That would have been an interesting, because they're always, like, doing, like,

revisionist history. Like, what if she was the one who fuck the monkey? She went over there on her hippie-dippy trip. Yeah. And they had sex with the chimble. Well, it is, yeah, yeah. is that really spirituality or whatever

Do we find out if that's how AIDS was started by if somebody fucking a chip that's people think right but do chimps have AIDS? I don't know I don't know

oh or is it like AIDS is created by do chimps get AIDS it's the whole base how is your day fucking terrible my chimp has AIDS damn it

not even cute without the hair dude nothing has to be Saturday a fucking cancer just like a chimp in like a wheelchair

with like an IV. Yeah. Oh my God, dude. That makes you want to cry. Just like a sweater, the quilted,

it's got his little face on it. Can they get cancer? Yeah. Can they get COVID? Probably. Maybe they made it. Can shams? It's the whole basis

of Planet of the Apes. Is that... What is it? The basis of Planet of the Apes? Well, they carry a disease that fucks up all. the humans. Right.

It makes them smarter. The disease makes them smarter. I started watching that series a little too far in to like care about why the monkeys are talking. Yeah. I love those movies. The first two I like in the next one I was like too mad.

You ever watch, you ever watch Planet of the Apes in an all black theater? Are you doing Joe Rogan? Crazy. Are you just doing the Joe Rogan thing? Is that a Joe Rogan bit? I don't know. Yeah, that's what he got in trouble for say.

He was like, yeah, I went to go see. a plane of the apes. He's like all black. I mean, it was like we were in the planet of the apes. And then, which was I think more racist than him quoting people saying the N word. But it was like, yeah. It was like, yes. Yes. But it was just funny too because like that the video just seemed like justified a little bit. He's like, look, I was just trying to make the story more exciting. And I like, uh, I think it stuff like that can, uh, I feel like it can work if you

say it in a certain way. If he was just like felt like I was in the plan of the not what I'm saying? Yeah. I just immediately say, no, no, no, no. Yeah. You got to, like, not compare them to the monkeys.

Yeah. You got to be like, actually, I had an example, and I was about to compare them to them. I was going to say, you know, I saw a planet of the apes in a all black theater.

It was hard to hear any of the dialogue over the... Hey. Or the howling? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, um... I'm surprised he wasn't like,

But no, they are like, because they're smart in the movie. They're smart in the movie. The one's a doctor. They can do anything. That's a white name. He was a white monkey. News to Joe, it's never a white monkey. What are you're making a monkey, Joe?

Yeah, there are a, dude, there's, I love the fucking albino. Albino any animal looks fucking sick as hell, dude. Yeah. Besides human. Besides human, you don't look cool. rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they have a fucking,

they have like a tiger with down syndrome. There's all kinds of like. Oh, really? It's not like actual down. It's like some sort of weird birth effect that looks like Down syndrome. Oh, okay. Well, that's less exciting.

I mean, yeah, it looks just like that. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I went to school with her. That's so funny. God, there's so many. there's so many, like, just funny things that exist. Almost the least funny thing is people trying to be funny.

Yeah. Isn't that true? Yeah, this, what we're doing is way less. Way less funnier than that. I just love just the information like that. Like, just being the scientist that finds out a tiger has Down syndrome. Yeah. And you're like, does this this affect his life?

Not really. It's just being a fucking tiger. What difference does it? Yeah. I mean, you probably should put him in a zoo because he's probably going to get fucked up by the other tigers. or he's super strong. Yeah, that's true. Just eating in buckets of crayons.

Graduated the lion. Loves wrestling. I want to learn so much more about down syndrome people so I can make less lazy Down syndrome. Every time I'm like crayons or this or that colored pencils eating glue. I don't know. I'm like, let me spend all the time with the culture. I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

It's like one of those things where you can make the jokes if you like name. it, but I, I've never even, I think I've had one conversation with the Down syndrome guy. You should get your, you should have like a guy with Down syndrome be like your producer. Yeah. Dude, come on. And just like all the levels are. I'm starting to think you have Down syndrome. That would be the worst idea.

The camera, the shot is like somewhere up here. Peanut butter on the camera. Why is it sticky? That's one of the best ones that got down. He goes, disenancement, guys. You do a better voice, the peanut butter guy.

Oh, yeah, the peanut butter guy. I don't remember what he said. He's like, it's just a PSA, everybody, you should eat peanut butter because it's delicious

and it's really good for you. And just everybody go out there and eat peanut butter. But they're always saying something like it's like important. Yeah. I love it. That's a great life.

Important to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to share it. As if people don't know about peanut butter, it's like, it's great, man. You got to know it. lose them new.

Yeah, it's like fucking, my favorite still was like me and my ex, we were doing like trivia one time and this guy with Down syndrome's next to us and he kept giving us all the answers and we're like, I don't know, fucking maybe. And then we used all his answers, but he like whispered to it

because he goes, and we write it down. And every single one was wrong. And we just failed trivia. And then we looked at the news was just gone. Yeah, it was all part of his play. I was like, I don't know, maybe he knows.

I think he said the shark's name in Jaws was great Jack White. Great Jack White. I was like, oh, maybe. And then I was like, great. I think it was like, who is the killer in Scream? There's a lot of, that's the thing is there's a lot of information up there, but it's just getting the wires are crossed, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it is a weird thing where like it definitely, I think the tricky part of it is that some of them are smarter than others of them. There's levels, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because there's the. The hybrids, which I've brought up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hollywood's hybrids. Have you met these hybrids?

What are you talking about? Dude, they're half Down syndrome, half not Down syndrome. Half, down syndrome, half great actor somehow. And somehow juicy asses too. Hey, how are... Oh, that's all of them. Listen. That is.

It's that fucking every time you see those TikToks. That's where all the peanut butter goes. Peanut butter goes straight to my ass. Yeah. So that's the butt. Peanut butter. Dude, the about of fucking TikToks I've seen, and it's like just... Start smooth.

Now it's chunky. The about of fucking TikToks, you see... You've seen those, right? It's like, it's like a girl with an ass, and then she turns around. Oh, she's like, got me. And then it cuts to, like, a black guy responding like, oh, she. Oh, shit. We all going to jail.

Oh, shit. It's time to go to Florida, Patty. It's time. Are you excited? When are you moving? I'm never excited. At the end of this year. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. It's coming up. It's coming up. We got to replace you. We have to do interviews for other roommates. Yeah. That's going to be tough.

Yeah. I'll put a little word out there. I mean, be careful. Be careful. Yeah. I'm not going to, I'll vet. Yeah. First of all, no women.

No. Can't have that. Cannot have that. Cannot have glenliness in the department. No, no, no. This has to be disgusting. There has to be. the comedic spider webs in our hallway

that like I see every day and I'm like someone's got to clean that up there. They're protecting you. That light went out in the hallway. Yeah. So now it's just like the void of darkness. It's terrifying. When I order food and it comes to the door, I just open and it's just

a dark one. Who goes there? Thank you. And there's just an organ play. I should put that on the TV like Oh my My master. Meel. Okay, seor, you okay?

I don't need a picture, okay? Did I ever tell you the time I accidentally locked the, there's a Hispanic cleaning lady that came to my house, and she went to the garage to, like, do something. And I naturally, when I am in the garage, I turn the light off and close the door. So one time I was in there with her, and I, like, forgot. I just naturally closed the line.

And I was, like, oh! And I was like, do you imagine how it was scary to be to be to foreign country? And, like, you're all these stories about, like, Spanish people being kidnapped or whatever. And then in her mind she's like, this is fucking it. This is it. In a garage of all the places. That's pretty funny.

Did you guys, did you ever like, would you guys like pick on the nanny? Like, get your Nerf guns out? No, no. Light her up, no. No. It sounds like he did. What a waste. What a waste of a nanny.

Yeah, we're going to pay an extra dollar for our kids to bully you. Yeah, we know he came all the way from Guatemala. and things haven't been great. I told my kids not to shoot the guns at people. Yeah. But brown people. Are you? We made a slight adjustment there.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, the one that, the one that works in my parents' house is very funny because she was talking one time. She's like, oh, New York is so dangerous. The immigrants is a big problem. She's like, and I'm like, I don't know if you're trying to, like, I'm not a big.

I don't really care about any of that, but it's just very funny. It would be like, oh, it's peregroso in New York. Just that keep him out. That is, those are really funny. The shut in the door behind you. But I guess, you know what? If you came here illegally, I kind of get how you'd be pissed about people coming here illegally. Because I put hours in.

Yeah. Of this. Washed a lot of windows. Yeah. Yeah. That would make me upset. I always think about that, too, because I'm like, I would love to live in another country. Yeah.

for like a little bit. But like, what is the, like I don't want, I'm an American. I don't want to have to go through that process. No.

Yeah, I'm the best of the country. I should be allowed to immediately run for office. You're all trying to come to my place. Yeah, exactly. The second I step foot there,

I should have a house and a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a new Taiwanese name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know. People always say people hate Americans,

and I just like refuse to believe that. I'm like, nah, we're awesome. How good you hate somebody like this. Yeah, I feel like they like America, but they don't like American. Well, it's just like, it's like, I don't know, I think like a lot of liberal people

would just like interview somebody in like China and the big, I don't like America. And they're like, see, look, they hate us over there. And you're like, you're just, I don't know, they ain't. Yeah. That guy's best friend is rice. Yeah. A field of rice. Yeah, yeah. Some of those Chinese guys, they just drop them in the middle of a field

and they just start making rice. That's how that works? Yeah. With the straw hats, they're like spinning like What do you call those fucking What are those things that spin? I'm trying to think of the thing I'm thinking of. A merry-go-round? I don't know.

UFO maybe. I don't know what I'm thinking about. Dude, I get to stop being so retarded, dude. I was on fucking YouTube and I just saw this YouTube thing that said, did Oppenheimer create UFOs? And I was just like, yes. Like, I didn't even watch the video. I was like, yep, that's my new belief on everything.

What's the theory there that he created it and then didn't tell anyone? I didn't even watch the video. I was just like, that's what I believe now. I was like, it's just catching. Because the one theory is that they used nukes and then the aliens are like, whoa! The aliens were taking a shit.

They're like, oh shit, God damn it? Yeah. That was faster. I thought we gotta get them. Yeah, yeah, just wiping their ass as fast as they're. Yeah. Yeah, just piss stains on their pants is they're running out the door to stop us.

We should just start launching nukes into space, just willy-nilly. Just to see what happens. Yeah, because we won't know, like, we won't know the recourse of it for like light years, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because by the time it gets to whatever planet

we're exploding, everyone who launched the nuke is dead. Yeah, well, that is, I think I've talked about this before. It's interesting that there's like things going on. Like, if somebody's like, there's a genocide of aliens going on on another planet, like, I guess I don't care. But it's like, I mean, that sucks, but I don't care. It's interesting at what point it becomes

something you care about. Because it's also like there's like genocides going on and like, like, nobody cares about African genocides. It's really crazy that like, that there's all kinds of like horrible shit going on in Africa and like we're no nobody in this country gives a fuck. Yeah. Not to mention

all the wildlife, scary wildlife in Africa. Like the tigers? Yeah. And the lions. The wildebeest. Yeah. The beast. They got the best name for being food.

Wildebeest. It's like wild beast but all they do is get eaten. Yeah. You know? They eat like grass. Wildebeest sounds like a black comics name. Wilde beast. Wilde beast.

Will de beast. Will the beast. Oh, these are fucking weird. I've literally never even seen this animal. A wildebeest? Really? What are you doing? You're just looking at Wildebeest.

I've gone out of a Disney safari before, brother. I guess this is something I have not experienced. I know every animal. This looks like a where the wild thing is. kind of thing. Yeah, they got cool horns. These are kind of sick. Why is there only one real picture?

Oh, dude, these look like zebras mixed with fucking ox. Moose kind of. This is crazy. It's like a moose goat hybrid. Oh, my God. Are they dangerous? Can I get one of these? I think they stampede.

I have nine fucking dollars in my bank account. Why am I even saying, could I possibly? I think it's the wildebeest that killed the lion and the lion king, right? Was it a stampede? Oh, the stampede. Yeah. So they'll run you over. Yeah, but it's just one.

Caitlin Jenner. She's a wild beast. I was speaking to that, that's so funny that fucking, so like a couple weeks ago on the podcast, there's this person from The Bachelor who was like, I'm trans now, and it's just a dude wearing a dress. And I'm like, look, we got to draw a line somewhere. This is not a trans person. I was like, I believe in trans people.

This is not a trans person. And then like two weeks, like this week, he's like, it was an experiment. Oh, wow. Because he was going on like Tim Pools podcast and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. it's upsetting because he was such a masculine man and he put makeup on and I'm like he still looks

like more of a man than I do. Yeah, oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's got fucking jacked, he's got like the perfect beard. Yeah. Is he gay? No, no, no, no. He was just pretending to be... The whole thing was a fuck around. He literally goes, he goes, I was so worried that like

I was a gay person because he's trans or she... Not anymore, but whatever. this dude transitioned quote unquote because it was all experiment or whatever and then he was like but because I'm attracted to women but because I was born a man my doctor said I'm not gay which is great news I was like wait so you're a homophobic like what is going on here yeah thank god I'm not one of those freaky gay people yeah dude I was thinking about this gay dudes and black women both have the same spectrum of like the meanest of the mean and the mean and

the nicest of the nice. Like a nice black woman or like a nice gay guy. It's like the sweetest human being. But then like a mean gay guy or a mean black woman has so much intensity. But maybe it's my bias, my internal bias. Whenever, even when a gay guy is being nice to me, I'm like, there's a little sass in there. Yeah, you're being sarcastic. Yeah, there's a little bit of, yeah.

Well, you just put it over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. Or you just know he's talking shit on you behind your back. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, so fucking strange.

Yeah. I mean, like, what a pussy is disgusting. He's talking show on you for fucking chicks. He's like, how does he even do that? That's what I imagine. They don't talk about dick. They just talk about how gross. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that is. We're all on the same page about dick. Pussy. Ugh. P. P.U. Well, it's so funny, too, because it's like, it's like we don't do that with.

Like, we're not like dicks are so, like straight guys, we're not just talking about gross dicks are. No, no. They probably don't, I don't, I think it's more like they're just, I don't know, I don't know if they like cock so much, or they dislike pussy more? Well, they're also gay, so like spiders scare them. Yeah, so it's like more of a fear-based reaction than a emotional reaction. So they're just scared of vaginas.

It's not that they're attracted. Sometimes if you're so scared of a vagina, you want a dick in your ass. That's what you're saying. That's how that works. You feel safe. Yeah. Yeah. to calm me down.

Like a dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a bow. It is kind of funny that dogs and women, like if they're like acting up, you got to fuck them. That's a work ship. You got to fuck a dog? What are you supposed to put a finger in their ass? Oh, yeah.

That turns them off. In my book, that's fuck him. Bring a girl home. Just like, you got to do it? Stop talking. That's one of my favorite. He says that to do the guy. Stop having.

He has a thumb. It's beautiful. He goes, Neer. And he's like for three minutes and this guy walking under his thumb. And then he ends it by like putting it in a woman's ass. But it's like a long video.

You don't know what's happening. You guys like, it's in one shot. Yeah, he's just going around his house like, and he goes, but do we were talking about your podcast, that video that guy shitting his balls out of his hat. That's one of the most insane videos ever.

You've seen that video, right? No. Oh, man. I feel like I can't relate to people anymore. I know. She's so smooth. Dude, it's just a dude, you don't know what's happening, and then you see, like, this guy is... Oh, yeah, it's got to be oiled up.

This guy's put his dick in his... I don't know. Dude, it looks pretty dry. It looks like almost baby powder dry. Yeah, yeah. And then he shits his balls out of his ass and his dick, and you're just like, whoa. His dick's in there, too. His whole package is there.

Wow. Yeah. Bless guy. I mean, life gives you lemons. Yeah, you shut up your ass. Such you, too. Like, life gives you long distest. What are they called?

Testicles? Yeah, but what are they called when they're like distended testicles? I would do that just to cheer myself up sometimes, just be in line at fucking the grocery store. They have no idea. That I'm digging. No idea I'm shitting out my balls. As I cash out. Is that be all?

Yeah. Oh. I got to blow my nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go to you that. I mean, I could, I can't put my balls in my ass. But I, I don't think most people. I can touch my asshole with my balls for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm kind of the same.

I tried it on his podcast. I was doing that in the other day. My penis, no way in hell. That's not getting even close. I could reverse it into my ass, like through my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tuck it in. Tuck it inside. I mean, nothing's more fun than pushing your penis inside of itself.

just letting it. It's such a fun thing to play with dude. More depressing. Like, oh, God, still I can do this. I don't know. It's not like your dick gets so long and can't go inside of itself because there's just as much length

to go in as there is to. I don't know. You think I was a giant dig can't put his dig back inside himself? No, I don't think so. I think he hits a wall. Yeah? Yeah.

And so his dick just does like a halfway. Yeah. He just has half of a penis. Because you know how you push your dick, like I like this, put my dick inside. This is like a joke. You don't even know that?

Never done that. You never taken the tip of your penis and pushed it inside of itself. No, that seems uncomfortable. It is. On account of the urethra. Yeah, it doesn't hurt. I think I did it like

literally two days ago in the shower. I was like, this is kind of fun. Because I just like look, then it comes out and it looks like it's like, it's like appearing. It kind of like appears like a super villain or something like that.

It comes out and like, ah, ha. It was me the whole time. That'll be cool if I could somehow like, if I did that and taped it and went to go have sex with the one and just pulled the tape off and had the dick just like come out. You're in an audition. You're like, I have an idea

for a Batman villain. My dig just painted blue. It's times like that where sexual harassment could be, if it's so fucking funny. Yeah, yeah. His name is the pink helmet. He's got a very angry face. That is kind of like juggernaut running through a wall a little bit like in that scene.

I'm the jugger on beach. Yeah. Horrible movie. Movie stinks. X-Men 3 The Last Dance. Yeah, it stinks. Boo. Yeah.

I don't know. I kind of liked it. But I don't really have any strong opinions right now about that. I'm just praying that we come up with something more exciting than X-Men 3 the last year. I don't know. You guys see Trump McDonald's? Any thoughts on that? Apparently it was fake.

What do you mean? It was fake? He wasn't. They shut the McDonald's down and there was just one car that came through. That's awesome. Oh, really? Yeah. That's what Reddit's saying.

I don't know. Yeah. I would believe it. I would believe it and I'd still be okay with it. I don't care. It's such a funny thing that she said she worked at McDonald's. So the video is somebody because he's talking to people. He's like, Kamala said she's worked at.

She's never worked in McDonald's. I've been here for 15 minutes. I've worked here longer than her. It's just like to do the customers. He should like go to India too and like sit on the ground and like whatever prey and be like, I'm actually more Indian. I'm more. Yeah.

Is she black or Indian? She's half. She's half of each. Blindy? She's a Blindian. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't... It's whatever. Because that's a big, big thing for me. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'm not going to vote for an Indian. I'll vote for a black person. I'd vote for a black woman, but not an Indian woman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm excited for this beach wedding. You know what? I've been kind of depressed. all day and I think I just forgot I'm going to, you're not a big beach guy right? No. Absolutely not. What about you?

No? I like going into the ocean and just kind of letting the waves come in and just contemplating suits. Just killing yourself. Could I put these rocks in my shorts? That's how Army Hammer tried to kill himself, right? Didn't he like swim into the ocean? Oh, yeah. What a sexy guy

way to get to yourself? I'm too I'm too good of a swimmer to die. My lats are too big. The story was so ridiculous, like I can swim out of the ocean. I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll just stay out here and die. It's like, you just want the pictures of you dying to be you shirtless like this and you're fucking six-packing.

If he is to kill himself, he should get like a bunch of military guys with hammers that fucking... To get a hammered. Army hammered or army hammered. Yeah. He's like, get it. Get it. Do you get it? Oh, my face.

Are you going to finish that? Leg? Yeah. Doesn't he like eat people? Yeah, yeah, he's got a cannibal fetish. The text is so funny too, because he's just like the text is I am 100% a cannibal. Like the most discriminating thing. He's like, this is what I do.

If anybody asks, I'm into it. But it's tough too because you can be a cannibal and not a technically bad person. If you're like eating people that like want to be eaten. Because like you just got to find the match. You got to find a giant fat woman and just your whole life you have a little piece of her each day. Yeah. And she just keeps getting fatter. She's like the giant omelet in NeoPets.

Yeah. That's a reference for a couple of people. Yeah, that's like, because that is a way, it's not morally wrong to be a cannibal. It's just weird. If you're eating people that are dead or, like, is it? I think it is morally wrong. Yeah, it's a little.

How's it wrong? You're desecrating a body. Yeah, but what if the person's like, yeah, but you're also providing somebody the nutrients. So, like, what if I was a human being and I was like, I want my body to be donated towards cannibals? then is it morally wrong for cannibal to eat me? It's probably still morally wrong

because it requires someone to be like, I'm not going to be buried, I'm going to be this guy's meal. Yeah, but it's, when you get sick from it, it's like, you're not supposed to do it. But this is not morally wrong,

it's just gross. I don't know. It's also, it's not the necessity. Like, cannibals don't need to eat humans. Yeah. Right, right.

It's just, you know, there's something wrong with it. Yeah, it's like a kink, you know? Yeah, but I'm like, I don't like if nobody's getting... What if it's a dead baby? Well, that baby didn't get to live and say, I want to be eaten by Army Hammer, so... But what if it's like a toddler that drowned in a pool? I mean...

And the parents are on drugs, and they're like, we need the money. Yeah, yeah. But we don't want to do this, but we need the money. And they just sell their dead toddler to Armyhammer? Yeah, they're waterlogged toddler. I really got the details on this. It's a good band name. That might be the sad

Lockerlock, Donlin. I think that's like the darkest thing ever in the podcast. Yeah. Yeah, he's the baby jumping. You don't see you get it out.

Yeah. By the way, they were like, we got the shot, leave it in there. I love to imagine that album coming out and like a small percentage

of the male population looking at that baby's dick. Fuck. Yeah. God damn it. Yeah. It's huge. It's huge.

That's a practical effect. Yeah. Underwater, it looks. You can look further. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I think, I don't know. I guess, I don't know.

It's a weird thing, too, with him because he like, he, it is funny, too, though, because, like, I would never want to be judged off of him. Now, none of my texts are, like, I want to eat you alive. Yeah. But I would never want my worst. Because, like, you say shit when you're texting something. It's, like, you never would really do in real life most.

the time. Yeah, like have sex with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've had that happen, dude. I'm talking to somebody to like, nope, I would not. This has been fun, but I, yep, no. What do you think is the best part of the body to eat?

Probably like a fucking, dude, probably like a peck, dude. Because, like, chicken breast is like nice and juicy. He's probably a pet. Yeah, what about a tit? Too fatty. Yeah, too fatty, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I think like a peck would be, but yeah, I'd be like a jacked person. Yeah. But then again, it's like muscly. It'll probably be chewy. I think like a big cheek of an ass. That's just all fat, though. Yeah, it's all fat. Probably a wean, dude. My dick probably tastes me. Wien might be good. Yeah. Wean might taste good in my mouth. You don't even need to cook it, honestly. No. Or cut it off. Just leave it down. Let me just taste it. Yeah. I just need a palate cleanser, actually. Yeah, I feel like brain is disgusting.

Yeah, no, not into any of that. Like face, could you imagine? I like that you said not into any of that, but like the brain. I'm like, no, I'm not in the fuck. What the fuck are we talking about? I bet like if you like deep fried a foot, it would be pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a lot of like meat on the bottom of the foot.

What's the wild thing you've eaten? I've eaten like, I don't want to try a snake. Yeah, I haven't really eaten anything crazy. I had alligator once. Yeah, it's fine. I also, I get really annoyed. when people act like Asian food is not weird. Like they're like, well, it's just weird to you.

I'm like, yes, because I'm the one saying it's weird. I'm the point of reference in this fucking conversation. It's like, I'm not saying, I know he's not eating it. Like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, he knows it's weird. But I'm like, but I'm not like, I'm not saying it's wrong. Just because something's weird doesn't mean it's wrong. But it's like, it's weird to eat snakes.

Yeah, it is. Have you been to Asian market? Like, they have one in Chinatown where like they have the snakes swimming around and stuff like that. And then they take them out and cook them. Oh, wow. We could, dude, I'm going to eat snake this week. I'm going to do something different. I want to get on my comfort zone.

Yeah, come down on the podcast next week and I have something interesting to talk about other than, you know. I'm going to walk in and he's going to be eating a bowl of salabanders just crying. I need something to talk about this week on the program. And then the podcast comes for like three minutes you talk about it.

And they're like, well, what else happened? Yeah. All right, well, I'll just talk about how I accidentally did meth last week. then I guess. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to get the details, but somebody gave me what I thought was an Adderall,

and boy, did it work effectively. Yeah. Because I'm prescribed Adderall, so I was like, oh, I'll take my dose of Adderall. This guy's like, hey, you want half an Adderall? I was like, yeah, that's like a little brain sharpening. That'll be like nothing. Next thing you know, I'm like typing out a text to Dan Carney saying, I'm going to be the greatest comedian to ever live. And then I deleted it.

I was like, that seems a little. Even then I was like, that's a little insane. And then somebody introduced me to the guy. He's like, oh, yeah, this is an adoral. was. I was like, oh, I thought it was your Adderall. And he goes, oh, no, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, it's got like a little bit of meth in it. And, like, at that point, you're always just trying to act cool. Yeah. So you're like, yeah, yeah, no, and your brain immediately goes, whatever you do, don't freak out because you're on meth right now, unknowingly. Yeah, that's

crazy. I've never had, like, that kind of a thing where there was, like, I took something that I didn't know. Yeah, also just like, don't tell me. I probably wouldn't have, I don't know. Yeah. Why would you tell the greatest comedian in the world? Did he just talk about it? They're on Matt. Just let them rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so do you have like any like, kind of want to do it again?

No, not at all. Yeah. No, I was kind of pit, but it's like, I hate and the guy started making the argument. He's like, yeah, you know, you don't really want to take Adderall. It's kind of weak. I'm like, don't, dude, dude, you know. It's kind of weak. Don't try to sell me on fucking meth.

I'm not going to. It also like, I get that like prescription adderol and prescription meth because you have methamphetamine is legal. Like you can get legal meth. But I'm like, that might be similar, but street meth. and adderol. Don't pretend like it's in a pill that looks like

it. Don't pretend like you're not tricking people. Yeah. What color is an an arol, blue?

There's different dosages. This is like, this is pressed to look like an adderol and it had fucking meth in it.

Anytime I eat a pill that's blue, I'm like, my dick's gonna get so. It's, but there's an adrol that's the opposite. I've had that.

Adville. I've prescribed Adderal and blue juice. So I'm like, I've always worried that I'll take the wrong one and then you'd be very smart during six

with the song the correct angle that my penis. It's a soft penis, but they're like, oh, something must be. That's when I was a kid, that's how I knew my adderall kicked in, I looked down to my penis, because sometimes you don't remember if you take it in the morning, and I look down to my penis was shriveled up, I'd be like, oh, I must have taken my adoral today.

But occasionally I look at it, it would be normal size, it'd be like, let me check my pocket. And there'd be an adderol and I knew it. You look down at the Nirvana penis? Yeah. That's crazy. I compare my penis to the baby's penis. I've been taking Adderall my whole life. I didn't know that.

I don't know. Yeah, I just carry around the vinyl of that album and just add a urinal and compare the baby's penis to mine. I'm like, yeah. You've been taken out early, your whole life? No, it was a joke about having a shriveled penis. Hey, are you a Yankees fan? No.

Oh, sorry. I don't watch sports. I'm homosexual. Yankees are in the World Series. I know that much. I think we should go to the Bronx. I think we should go to the Bronx. Am I fucking right? I think we should go to the Bronx.

Yeah. outside of the stadium. Yeah. Parte. I thought you were going to do some content. Interview people or something. Oh, no, no, no. I'm going to go to that Trump Barbershop when he went to.

Yeah. I'm going to a Trump rally. Yeah? When? Where? October 27th at MSG. MSG. It was free, yeah.

Are you sure he's not going to trick you into Kill Tony? Yeah, it's Kill Tony. Yeah. Kill Tony is there. Put your bucket in there. I'm going to literally kill Tony. I, like, dream of like them calling my name, but I gave them like someone else's name, you know,

like someone who I hate. Yeah. So they're like, all right, coming to the stage, John Marco Seresey. It's John Marco. And I walk up and I'm just like, just throw the mic. And then just sprint away. Yeah. And they'll be like, who was that?

And they'll be like, give it up for Trump, Mark, so razy, electric set. Yeah. Electric set. But that's all I would do with my time. Yeah. You would kill. It's, you know, I saw a clip the other day from Kill Tony of just a white guy saying the N-word, and the crowd's going wild. You know, I will say this.

It continues to always at least be interesting when you see it. I've never seen a white guy's to the N-word and gone. I've been like, this is uncomfortable or something, but I'm like, you know what, this has piqued my interest. Yeah. It's definitely, I've never not like turned my head. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just entertainment value alone. It is entertaining. It is, yeah. Emphasis on the name. That's not even quite the same thing. If you arrange the matter. If you double and arrange. Yeah.

Well, we are at exactly 30 seconds left to an hour Before we Yeah, we're kind of just edging the audience with I know, we have to at least spell it What do you guys want to promote? Levi the White on Instagram And now on Reddit Go ahead and tell me how you saw the punchline from a mile away

No way, what's your Reddit tag? Levi the White Hamburger Helper RDA, you to It's just Levi White? You got the? Levi, the White. The White.

The White. Yeah, I posted some stuff on Reddit during the pandemic. I posted like sketches on Tim Dillon's Reddit. And like, everyone was like, this is the next Tim Dillon. And so I was like, oh, this is my home. And then I post another one. They're like, who is this faggot? Get him off my screen.

I was like, but you loved me. Dude, when Dan opened for him, the fucking, he just, Tim's fans were like, fucking crazy. Like, it was like, oh, really? Yeah, it's,

it's one of those things too where, like comedy fans, I mean, there's just like any fans where like, some of them are like cool people and some of them are just the biggest nightmare

and they're like, you should literally go fucking kill yourself and you're the biggest, fucking piece of shit bagg- to damn. I don't know if they went that far, but like, it's like that for people

where they're just like, you should fucking die by a thousand paper cuts. And then you're like, dude, I just thought this just a silly idea, man. You're like,

I just thought this. But also, I get where people come from because you ever just see somebody do comedy and you're like fuck you just for no reason like you're like you watching somebody do stand up you're like yeah how about you die and the world's a better place

because that joke wasn't funny which is not even like I don't know why if something isn't funny it somehow becomes the level of criminal house when something isn't funny and it's presented as like oh this is your night of funniness and it's just like a guy you go to work with like the equivalent

of that then you're like oh this sucks I hate this and I hate you. But I've been that guy to thousands of people, which is so funny to think about. Like there's people that have just hated me because I'm not funny and they have to be in the same room as me and they're like, when's this guy going to get the...

That's so funny to think about that like sometimes I'm on stage and people are like, please get this guy get off stage. It is amazing. Comedy is the only thing where you can do it and it doesn't really matter how long you do it. But there's just a group of people that keeps growing that have only seen

you one time and they fucking hate your time. And you'll never get a chance. Never get a chance to show him again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll still, like, even when you're famous, we saw him and he was off. He was so bad. It was really bad lie. Everyone is wrong about this person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's like my favorite is like, Kanye West, I just thought sucked alive because one person was like,

he's terrible live. And then I told everybody, like, dude, yeah, but he's like really bad live. I'm like, maybe at a bad fucking concert. Yeah, yeah. The guy is bipolar. You're going to have sick. I think that's common with a lot. of rappers. So a lot of people that go and see rappers are like that was the worst concert ever. They'll do the bullshit where like they were like show up like two hours late.

Yeah, well and they'll play they'll play like their music. Check out news. They'll fucking like they'll play the song. I know what's funny is like when I said they show up two hours late. Them's is just the facts.

I wasn't trying to be funny. But then they'll be over their own music too, where it's like, if they miss a word, the song's just playing. Yeah, they don't care. It's very low effort. Yeah. But thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for coming on. Yeah.

Thank you for having me. Bye, bye.