Morning Good - Alcoholic Historian - Episode 290

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

Adam Bramson and Cam Stafford join the show for today's episode. They talk about discontinued beverages, NYC cabaret licenses, and the People of Righteous Notions.Thanks to Cam for returning to the show and to Adam for joining for the first time. Check out Cam on Episode 277 and make sure to hit the links down below for even more.Adam is on Instagram @adam_bramson. Cam is on Instagram @camstaffordcomedy and hosts the Down Bad Comedy Show, which has shows coming up 11/14, 12/3, and 12/17 in the West Village.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They call it the podcast? Morning, good, good. Hey, welcome to the air.

Thanks. Welcome to morning. All right. We're here with Adam Bramson. That's that right, right? Yeah, Adam Bramson. Fuck yeah. And Cam Stafford.

What's up, everyone? Oh, that was so, what's up, everyone? You sound like one of those Disney channel stars. Like, what's up, everybody? You're like a huge. What's up, guys? My name's Cam, and my life is pretty crazy. Yeah.

Sounds like a vlog. Yeah, yeah. One thing I don't like is bullying. Were you, uh, do you have any good anti-bullying campaigns when you're a kid? Anti-bullying campaigns? No, I got bullied, like, a good amount as a kid. Really? Yeah, I got bullied a lot as a kid.

Like elementary school years. What for? Um. Too hot, too big of a weiner. Too athletic. None of the above. You had that mustache in like sixth grade. You're like, what's up fucking.

You got a freak with eyebrows over here. He got a freak with eyebrows on his lips. No, my parents were divorced, like, really early. Okay. That's such a fucked up thing to bully someone about. That's what they were bullying. Trauma. They were just like your parents aren't together, you're a loser.

Yeah, yeah. They were like, why don't your parents, like, live in the same, like, build or anything like that? Like, they don't live in the same house. well one kid I remember me cloud at my school like my school like if you were like a like a kid who's like dad dad you were like fucking cool or if your dad was like a drug addict or something people were like damn that kids got fucking edge to him yeah no I wish it was like that but it wasn't because it was like a it was an affluent area yeah grew up in a pretty like affluent

same with the reality is like half of those kids parents are divorced now yeah you were actually just first to the party and now you probably have less trauma because of it you got it out of away early on. I was just a trendsetter. Yes, in a way. You were ahead of the curve. Yeah. That's crazy. They bullied you for having your parents are divorced. I got bullied a few times just because I'm Jewish. Yeah. They'd fucking throw coins at me and shit. That's pretty wild. Yeah, be like, all right, free money. Idiot. Thanks for the allowance, guys. Yeah. I never got anything thrown at me for it.

Not for. Well, you're not a Jew. So you can't relate. You little Anglo-Saxon Wasp. What are you? What's your religion? I was raised Catholic. I bet you were. Yeah. No, I'm a wasp for sure. And that's okay. Yeah, that's fine. Were they, uh, what was the bullying? Like, was they were like, they put things in your locker? What would be the thing? No, it was mostly verbal. They would just pick on me or they would like, but they would be like a group of kids and I'd like look over and they'd point in me and then laugh and then like look away. Did you have friends or were you like the loser?

I'd like two or three friends at that school. And did they get bullies? too? Nah. They were all right. I don't think I ever really got bullied. Because I had a thing where I had like an older brother, so you kind of tell me what to say to people. So the only guy that bullied me was this one kid who was younger than me.

And we both like weren't playing in football. So we'd both be on like the sidelines. And this kid was just so fucking good, dude. I guess it wasn't really bullied. It was like verbal back and forth. Sure. But this kid just he'd be like, can you stop talking? I could taste your dad's cock on your breath.

And this guy's like fucking 12. Just like ripping fucking crazy. That's so awesome. That's a crazy line of drop it to 12. Oh, yeah. I would always do the thing where I was like, my brother's going to beat you up if you keep fucking with me. Did he ever?

No. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, exactly. It never happened yet. But like one kid, I remember we had like a joint birthday party. And because we had like a mutual friend.

So he wanted to do a party with Jack. I want to do a party to Jack. So they're like, all right, we got to all do a three-person birthday party. And I was like, oh, yeah, well, that's fine. But my brother's going to show up to your birthday party.

Fuck you up. and then I forgot what happened the kid like cried or something we came friends later but that's like childhood in a nutshell just like bitching about some stupid little thing

and they'd be like yeah now he's my best friend yeah yeah yeah yeah there was never like for me it was less bullying because like I was always just like oh I like I don't know I had a crazy mouth when I was a kid

like somebody broke up me and my second grade girlfriend and I was like oh yeah somebody should I was like I wish I could shove a gun up that girl's ass and shoot it Bro. What the fuck?

I was a crazy-mouthed kid. No, the word, the, so when I, like, kind of stopped getting bullied, and then my parents, like, actually pulled me out of that school, like, shortly after this. Which one? It was called. Not in which parent. Oh, which parent. Country school.

But probably the same thing. Oh, I don't know. Maybe. In New Canaan, Connecticut. Yeah. Very nice area. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. Yeah.

I didn't grow up there. My high school girlfriend was from New Canaan. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, beautiful area. her family was loaded.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she went to new. Probably. I have no. Maybe you know her. Maybe she bullied you. What's her name?

We'll beep that. Yeah. Beep that at four. Maybe just beep the school name too, actually. Who cares? Probably nothing. I called out my,

like, high school gym coach last week. I was like, Rick Babi X's a fucking bitch. I was just like, I'm probably dead by now. I hope not, but you know. It actually really would not affect my life if Rick Pabiac was dinner.

No, you'd probably have a moment like, damn. So what do you guys want to do for dinner? Yeah, it'd be a brief thing. There was like a, there was a turning point when I stopped getting bullied. And I'm not saying this was the right thing to do in hindsight. But this kid said something like, it was something on the lines of like, your dad doesn't, your dad doesn't love you enough to stay or like something like that. Whoa.

Yeah, he's getting like that. And I went, at least my dad doesn't, at least my dad loves me enough not to get cancer. Yeah, there we go. Bro, that's, that's fucked up. Which is like, no, it's so fucked up. Did his dad die of cancer? I don't know. I don't talk to the kid anymore.

Oh, but at the time he had cancer. Yeah, he had it, yeah. And he was, like, mad sick. And you were like... I don't know how sick he was. I just knew he had it. Yeah. And he threw the first punch.

At least my dad has hair, like a real man. Yeah. My dad would go through chemo and keep his hair because he's... Yeah. I don't know. Did your dad leave you? No, he didn't leave.

No, so the chirp wasn't even accurate. No. Your parents just had like a normal divorce. Yeah, I saw him on the weekends and stuff. That'd be different if your dad actually was like a deadbeat who like walked out on your family. No, no,

he did. But no. So in anything, his, his bullying was inaccurate. Yeah. And your bullying was so over the top. So over the top.

Your dad has cancer. Yeah. I don't know. Is it, but that was the one time that I fired something back and then I just kids didn't say anything to me after that. Yeah. And I think it's because I hurt that.

I mean, that kid cried on the spot. Dude. You set the tone. They didn't want to mess with you anymore because you came for Cancer Boy. Well, I mean, hey man, Cancer Boy came for me. Also, don't call him Cancer Boy.

The kid was fine. Yeah, he's by proxy cancer. Yeah, but, like, I mean, we're talking about, like, genetics. He probably is going to get cancer if his dad got it. I hope he's okay.

I hope his dad is okay. Oh, there's a hundred percent chance I get cancer, yeah. You think? Yeah, it'll be from something weird. Like, I don't know, people are like, you're not supposed to reuse water bottles.

And I'm like, shut up. I'm going to keep reusing water bottles. Yeah, I reuse them. I mean, honestly, like, that's the number one way people die. Is it reusing water bottles? That and cancer. Oh, yeah, but that's barely cancer. Everything is just, everything's cancer now.

Yeah, yeah. You either, like, die from some, like, getting hit by a bus, or it's cancer. Yeah, well. In my opinion. Yeah. And the thing I wonder, too, about this is, like, has cancer's always just been here, which didn't really know what it was until a certain time period? Like, when do we discover cancer?

I'm not knowledgeable enough to answer that question But I have to assume like back in fucking, I don't know, medieval times They probably got cancer too. They just didn't have a word for it. Right. Or they didn't know what it was. But like whatever they would die earlier. They wouldn't have treatment for it.

You would like die at 40 and people like, oh, yep, got the flu. Yeah. But it's actually lung cancer or some shit like that. Right. Like prostate cancer, I don't think you can get that before like age 40. or something or 50. Why do these doctors keep fingering my ass? You gotta get a new doctor.

Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Or just, or keep it. Or just tell me who you're going to and if he's in my network. But yeah, like they, like, I don't even think they had the chance to get prostate cancer in the medieval times. That's so sad. You don't even have the chance to get cancer. No, they could get other ones, I bet. Yeah, I don't know.

We were probably like the three least qualified people to be talking cancer. Yeah, but don't know how. podcast work. You're supposed to only talk about shit. You know nothing about it. I'm sorry. I forgot we're three straight white dudes on a couch with mics and we should be acting as if we know fucking everything.

Then you get held accountable and you go, what are you talking about? We're just goofing. Yeah, we're just a podcast. Even though I, Michael Good, am saying chemo is actually what kills people, not the cancer. That's what I believe. And that is what Michael Good on the Michael Good podcast did say. And his two nameless guests. whose faces and voices and voices were muffled the entire show.

Well, people always say that. They're like, you know, the cure sometimes is worse than the disease. But nobody has done that with key. I'm surprised there's not a chemo. I'm surprised there's RFK hasn't gone on. Bro, I saw, so there are people that believe that. I saw this headline and, you know, there's fucking crazy headlines that get posted all the time.

You don't know if they're accurate. But I saw some headline that was like, uh, 28-year-old woman dies from cancer after she refuses chemo and takes like five coffee enemas a day in place of it. Oh, oh. That's like, that's honestly, I think like the state of misinformation we're living in though.

Yeah, yeah. That people are like, dude, chemo's wrong. I'm gonna fucking butt chugged on. You know what I mean? They're like, this is gonna solve. She saw. Also, cold brew or hot?

I hope somewhere in between. Yeah. Honestly, like I've never had an enema, but like a like a, like a, maybe like cooled off right out of the, maybe like a five minute cooled off coffee would be nice. Cold seems tough, but hot seems tough.

So like, yeah, it's got to be somewhere in between. I think, I think the caffeine concentration in cold brew, I think you just have a heart attack if you butt shut cold. And then maybe that's why she died. It wasn't even the cancer at that point.

It was too much caffeine. She was fucking doing coffee animals. But I was just like, she got that info from somewhere. Yeah. So some crazy TikTok doctor was like, listen, do this and it'll save you. And she was like, I got to try it. Yeah.

And now she's dead. Which is fucked up. It is, but I always hold the people accountable, though. I am like, if you're a grown up and you're shoving cop for your ass, it's just funny to like blame. You know, I mean, like, I get that like if you're a stupid doctor, you shouldn't be talking. But I'm also like, that doctor, like really thinks he's doing the right thing. He's like, if people do not find out about the Starbucks butt chug, then this world, he's like, I have information that will save lives. Right.

So it's like, but then you get the other people that are just grifters and they're like, yeah, you got to take my, you know, supplements because they're the best. Listen, both, both are, you know, partially to blame. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like you guys, uh, sports gamble at all? No, no. Okay. Or do you, anyway, it's like, whatever. You know, there's people who, like, put out advice for like financial advice, gambling advice.

at the end, they always say, this is not, like, legal advice. Like, I'm not advising you to do this. Like, they're forced to do that. Yeah, yeah. Like, if these doctors, who are not actual doctors, they're forced to be like, this is not medical advice. Do not take this as medical advice. At the end of their podcasts, maybe less people would die from butt chugging coffee,

is what I'm saying. That is true. I always have a hard time when it's a grown adult doing something really does. You know what I mean? Like, it's hard for me. They're there to blame 100%. The woman refused chemo. Yeah. This story could even be fake.

You know what I mean? I could have gotten duped by a fucking false headline. But on the Michael Good podcast, everything is fact. It's true. Yeah. I can't believe you didn't do your background research before this very serious. You know, I found out I was going to be on this podcast at like 2 p.m. today. Yeah.

And then I went to the gym. I did the Stairmaster for a while after my workout. Got really lightheaded. almost passed out, walked home, took a shower, and now I'm here. Yeah. And so, in terms of research, I'm operating at like 30% capacity right now. Right, but he has headphones at the gym. He could have easily listened to some informational stuff.

There's a guy at home with two pots of coffee in his house going, no! Watching right now. Bold of you to assume someone's watching this right now. This is my kind of issue with this all. I don't think people give doctors enough shit for not making. chemo look more fun. It's the doctor's fault for not making the chemo look at healing. It's like you

could be a cool bald guy. You could audition for Lex Luther maybe. There's lots of, you know... So you're saying there... Oh, you're saying the after... I thought you meant the during chemo. I was like, they shouldn't make that look fun at all. The doctors need to promote how cool chemo is. And you're a nerd if you don't do chemo. So that, you know, the chemo... When you have cancer.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel, you know, maybe we just need more positive representations of chemo in media. Yeah, when was I saying you saw a cool cancer guy in a movie? Well, when you were talking about that, I was thinking of cancer movies. That's a good point. Deadpool is a great answer. I was thinking of that movie 50-50.

Yeah, yeah. I was like, that's probably the most popular representation in a movie. And then also there's that Kumail Nanjiani movie, The Big Sick. Yes. Where his girlfriend's going through cancer. There's probably a bunch of others. Yeah, yeah. But we need more positive representations of chemo.

Because it saves lives. Yeah. And it stops people from butt-chugging coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember the supercharged Panera Lemonades? Oh, yeah. What do you think what if you butt-shug one of those? You think you just lift off.

And people said that they were bad, like, really bad for you, right? People were having heart attacks, yeah. People were drinking like three in a day and then just dying. What was in them that? Just an absurd amount of caffeine. I think it was more, I think it was like 300 milligrams of caffeine or something like that. Yeah. Holy shit.

Yeah, that's why they should. Yeah, but that's why they shouldn't have discontinued 4-Loco because that was like the prep for real life. It's like you drink this much energy drink as a kid and then as an adult you'll need this much coffee. For Loco, it still exists, but it's just like less. It's just less caffeine. It's the same amount of alcohol, yeah.

It used to be the equivalency of four Red Bulls and four beers. Now it's four beers. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. You guys ever have that? Oh, I think I had one like earlier this year. Yeah, I used to shock on them in college. Well, like the new version, not the old version.

No, the old version. I had one of the old version. You shotgun one when I was in high school. Was that the old version? How old you? Did you butt chug one in high school? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. Because when I was in eighth grade, they discontinued the old one.

And my brother had one old one. But I split between like four. So, like, one. They don't continue making the old one, though. No, but you look up recipes online and how to make your own. Recipes. Yes. To make four logo.

Yes. I feel like you're just, like, living on a different planet. if you're Googling four local recipes. Yeah. Yeah, who would do that? I mean, apparently Michael Good on the Michael Good Pocket. Listen, I respect it's your life. You know what I mean?

But I just can't. What situation really like, fuck it, dude. I got to brew this shit up at home. I am very much a retroist. What do you call somebody who likes things that were discontinued? Like, I really want to get a bottle of Bacardi. 151 because they discontinued it. They discontinued

Picardy 151. So I'm fascinated by it. You're like an alcoholic historian. Exactly. Yeah. So if you're so cool to have a thing and be like, oh, you want the 2003 Heinickin' whatever? Like that sounds fun. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not like nice wines. It's like discontinued beers. Yeah. They were too dangerous. There's a 1997 Modelo light. They don't make them anymore. After five high schoolers died in a drunk driving accident, they decided this could not be on the shelves.

Oh, my God. So how far is a four loco from just like an espresso martini? Is that just like crack to cocaine? Yeah, kind of like I'll make my own in a sense that I won't brew my own, but I'll like drink a malt liquor and take a caffeine pill. And I'm like, yeah, this is kind of me making a four loco on my stuff. Did you ever do those like you ever drink a 40 and you ever go to college and have like the Edward 40 hands? Then there's a sidewalk slimmer, which is when you drink half the 40s. Oh, my friends used to do that.

Put a four loco in it. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah, we used to do those outside this Asian restaurant in New Orleans. What restaurant? called Bachi. Bachi? Like a hibachi restaurant?

No, it's just called Bachi. They had like those little tacos with the bow buns around them. What a misdirect. Yeah, we would do sidewalk slammers outside and then throw up inside. Oh, and they liked that. They were like,

yeah, come inside and peek at our establishment. No, but like they were packed every night. So they were like, I guess we're making money on this. They're like, whatever,

it's chill. They're like, hey, Cam. Yeah, you don't always like choose your clientele's restaurant. Sometimes you just get placed in a place. This looks like a shopping center

that'll have us. And then you're like, oh okay I guess it's going to only be 17 year olds but you know if you're a cheap bYOB restaurant within a half mile of a college campus you your clientele is going to be the kids from the college yeah there was there was a hobachi restaurant like in my college town and it was b yob and like as a team we would go that we'd call it like kegbbbbcci night yeah and like we as a team would literally bring a keg oh that's fucking awesome to the hobachi restaurant yeah um well yeah people people would get after it i i wouldn't put people

would get after it. Well, it's also weird, too. There is a weird thing. Even in New York, a lot of Asian places do not have, or I guess you could make it wider to just a lot of ethnic foods don't have liquor license. I didn't know that. Yeah, like, I've been to a lot of B-Y-O-B, Asian restaurants, like, there's a lot of places where I go and they're like, we only do beer and wine, we don't have our liquor license, or like, yeah, other places, there's an Indian restaurant that you can't buy any alcohol in. What do you think about comedy clubs that don't have their liquor license? Um, that are like B-Y-O-O-B. I got mixed feelings on it

because sometimes I show up and I don't drink much before going on stage but I like knowing it's there I just don't want to have a beer after the show and I'm not going to like ask an audience member like oh could have some beer cooler? But I mean it is a thing too where it's like comedy clubs make so much money on alcohol

that it's interesting to have like a space like that doesn't Right but there are some of these like newer indie spaces Yeah that are less like full-blown establishments that are like we'll forego the liquor license

we were just going to have comedy. Yeah, well, also, one is the thing, too, we're like, a comedy club is a business model. It's, like, a terrible idea. So the whole, like, don't tell model is great because it's like, hey, we can just make a comedy club like any. It could be anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's like, I did one, last week it was an axe throwing place. You know that spot, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, this is cool because it's like, yeah, you could make those a comedy club and they don't have to freak out. Yeah, as long as you can put 80 chairs in here. Yeah. Yeah, they let's a comedy club.

It's a comedy club. It's a comedy club. Yeah. Oh, that's sick. I want to know the axe throwing. Like, there was a guy there was, like, really into axe throwing. I'm like, he's got to be, like, tossing the blade or, like, there's got to be some. There's definitely important.

Grabbing the wood. I don't think it would be that. I think they'd call it, though. Yeah. Yinging some metal. Yeah. I like that. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't get to throw. Let's try and think of more, huh? Yeah. We're running out right now. Gripping the axe. Yeah, dude. That was good. I know it double-sided axe is called a bipedinness.

A bipedonis. Yeah, it's like penis, but with two ends. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Why'd they call it that instead of just a double-ex. The what? The second end is doing so much work right there. Oh, yeah, it's saving people from having to buy penis.

Yeah. That's huge. But I think the reason a lot of ethnic restaurants too in New York City don't have liquor licenses is that New York's pretty unique because they're catering to like their own community usually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like Chinese restaurants in Chinatown, white people go to them. they're not built for the white people. That makes sense. And I think that drinking is not as prominent in, like, other cultures like that as it is an American culture.

Yeah, I would guess. And it's just the cost and how long it takes to get our liquor license. Yeah, and, like, I can't imagine, like, my native language is English, but I can imagine reverse it for them and they have to do all this paperwork in Mandarin. Like, like, it would be like me trying to do paperwork in Mandarin. I'm like, I don't want to just bring your own beer. I don't want to have to, like, yeah, yeah. It's probably easier if you just do BYOB.

Yeah. And it's cheaper probably for the customer. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So it could be potentially, I mean, actually, I don't know if it's better business, but it's better for the consumer probably. For sure. Oh, you save so much money. Yeah. Yeah. Well, sometimes I'll also charge a corking fee, which saves the consumer money and still makes the restaurant money. A corking fee? Yeah, they'll charge 25 bucks just to have someone come over and just open your bottle of wine for you. Why not just open it yourself? You're not allowed to. There's a corking fee. What the fuck, dude?

Yeah, they just make stuff up. There's like a cabaret license too where like you can't do shows at certain places because now it's a performance. I don't know. Really? There was a show I used to run that I couldn't promote it because they were like, no, we don't have a cabaret license.

So like just like tell people like I'm low key to come out and see the show. Where was it? It was climate. They still have that place, right? Climate Lounge. Like K-L-I. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember that. It's so funny to think about an NYPD squad car like busting into like a fucking Are you guys doing art here? Is this performance art? Wait. Wasn't there a... You guys chasing your dreams in here? No!

That did happen though. What was that comedy club that got busted like a couple years ago that didn't have a BIO didn't have their drink liquor license or whatever? Probably 7th Street maybe?

Maybe it was 7th Street. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was 7th Street. It was right next to 7th Street bird. Yeah. And remember like cops busted or whatever and like you don't have your liquor license and the club shut down.

Yeah, that's annoying. And people thought that it was going to be like the next spot. Yeah, it was kind of like a sash like spot. Yeah. I only have been a couple times. And it looked like it was going to be like one of those spots. But it all fucking fell through.

Yeah, it's just the, I mean, jump through him with everything in New York is like fucking insane. It's like everything's so hard to do. Like trying to become a cab driver here. I think it's like very tough to get like your medallion or whatever. Which I like the name of the medallion. I like the idea that they put like that. Yeah.

Well, everyone's a fucking Uber driver now too. Yeah. I prefer taking cabs. Do you guys prefer taking cabs? I'll take them just because like I don't want to, my Uber just won't go through for like a couple days. So like I will think I have so much money

because like none of my Uber's have gone through and then randomly it'll just take it out of my bank account. Yeah. But cabs immediately it showed up. Yeah, you do it right there. Yeah, but then I get very confused because I blacked out. I'm like, I wasn't in Long Island last night. I'm like, oh, that's just where the cab driver's license is.

Right, right, right. Yeah. I don't know. I also feel like cabs are just less expensive than Uber's and shit like that. They don't surge, which is cool. Right. And I, there's something about just fucking putting your hand out on me like, taxi shows up right there.

instead of like... Does feel kind of powerful, yeah. It feels in New York. Yeah, you ever have something you're out who's out of town and you're like, I'll hail a taxi? They're like, you'll what?

Dude, you can just summon a minority. Like, here, I feel so masculine. Like, my girlfriend always has trouble like getting a taxi. I step into the street and I'm just like, cab and the guy stops right away and he's like, she's like, wow, you're really good at that.

I'm like, wow, I don't... Say more things like that. That's awesome, you know? So it's like, it's those little moments where you're like, wow, dude, I feel powerful in the city right now. There's something about hailing a cab. What's between hailing and hailing?

Is the same thing? You know, probably not. I think it's one letter. I think it's A verse E. Like they weren't. It is hiling, H-E-I-L. But is that just hailing in,

like are they summoning Hitler? Well, no, because a hile is, you better blur this out, is that. Right. If you're hailing a cab, I'm up like this. That's what the kids did to me in middle school. At Adam, actually.

I've, I've had so many. Michael Good podcast, guys. My producer's thumbnail people high-fiving. It looks just like we're having. That's so fucking. Yeah. But no, I think if you're hailing a taxi, I'm like open palm.

Right. No, of course. But I'm saying like, no, you go side. Yeah, exactly. You're not fucking facing them and doing that. What Cam keeps doing. But is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, does Heil mean hail in, is, is, is, is, is, does hail in.

German? Look it up. What does the how Hitler like mean actually? I think it means like we hail you. Like

But I'm saying is that the same as hailing a taxi? Like when you when you hail a taxi you're saying please taxi we like you or are you saying

get here stop right now? Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's two different meetings. Yeah. No.

Yeah. That's what it means. It means what? The AI overview on Google says that Heil means hail. Yeah. In general.

But are there two meanings to hail? Yeah, say, where does the term... Do you know what I mean? Where does the term hailing a taxi come from? Right, is inhaling, like, in the word hail in the English language, are there two meanings, meaning one, like, we hail our leader, master, and then the second meaning is, like, to command a taxi? Right.

Or is it just one meaning? I think in English, I don't think it's, like, specifically reserved for taxis. I think you can hail. I never heard anybody use in any other way. Me neither. Oh, you've never heard, like, all hail. that's the other meaning. Yeah.

Right, right. So I'm asking, are there two different names? So to hail means in English it's be whole or be in good health, as in like hail Caesar. Yeah. The German word is like salvation or good luck. I think it means the same thing. So they're pretty much the same. Yeah.

But I don't know. But I'm saying is there a second meaning where it's like summoning something. Yeah. Say where does the term hailing a taxi come? from. Yeah. And this is a good podcasting. Yeah.

When you're just asking someone to look up definitions on Google. I don't know why I got, you have your phone too. I don't know why I got picked for this. Jarvis, uh, dial up hail taxi. Because the word hail originally means to call or beckon someone from a distance.

Okay. And it has become specifically associated with signaling a taxi to stop. So did anybody hail Hitler, but not Heil Hitler? They're like, Hitler. Come here. Come here. I want to say something to you.

No, no, no, not hail. I'm not hiling you. Come here, buddy. I'm here. We need to talk. I'm doing the opposite. Actually, I'm here to say this is wrong Hitler.

I'm going to, just based on the history, I'm going to go on a limb and say, nobody did that to him actually. Yeah, I don't think anyone told them. Not a lot of people said no to Hitler. Yeah.

Hey, I wish more people had. Yeah. I mean, some, you know, people eventually did. And that's how the war ended.

People were like, yeah, this is fucked up. Yeah, but they should have done it earlier. Oh, I'm not saying the Germans didn't, do it. The rest of the world, well, not the rest of the world. Part of the world. Yeah, some of them.

Yeah, he's, he's a bad guy. Bad guy. Bad guy. If you go back in time and ask Hitler one thing, what would you ask him? I'd ask him the Heil Hill question. Yeah. And have him settle this debate. This Heil Hale thing. I'd have him settle this debate right now so I can stop Googling. People would be like, that's what you wasted your question. I'm really confused, man. I don't fucking know. I would ask him his opinion on every race, because we were talking about this the other day. We were talking about, like, if a Hispanic guy wanted to join, like, a white supremacy group,

it would be interesting because they'd be like, well, Hitler didn't really know Mexicans. So, like, he didn't really have a strong. So I'd be curious, because, like, he was very pro Japanese. He was, like, because they teamed up. So he was, like, Japanese are superior, white people are superior. Everybody else kind of falls in different.

Was he, was he pro-Japanese, or was he pro- like, Axis Powers, like the Allies? He would actually say Japanese, People are a superior race? Yes. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. So he was like, yeah, right below us.

Right below us. Nobody in front of us. Yeah, yeah. No, we're the best. And then the Japanese are pretty cool. But then I think Einstein was like on the other side of where Einstein was like pretty anti-Asian and stuff like that. I didn't know that.

I mean, that's who he was competing with in math and stuff. So he was just furious probably. Yeah, he was just. Yeah, it was coming from a place of insecurity probably. No, it was probably just like a, you know, good competitive nature. Maybe. I also would wonder to this. So that would be my first question.

Maybe, but it is, we were talking about how Hitler was like part Jewish. Like it wasn't his mom Jewish or something? I don't think that's accurate. Okay. I thought his dad was Jewish. I'm fairly certain. Hitler was not Jewish. All right.

Then never mind. It must have been, there must have been. The guy who exterminated six million Jews was not Jewish. Right. But I think there was. It's so funny of everybody else being like, it was probably the Jews that did the Holocaust. Pretty sure. I'm not everything.

Pretty sure he didn't do that. But I think it wasn't him, maybe then, but there was some Nazi who they, like some head Nazi that had... That had some Jewish lineage and it was like... Did they know? Derived of like self-loathing? Yeah, it was probably a thing.

It was probably like that... There was like a Mori or Oprah where they had a white supremacist and they found out he had like black ancestry and they just like really ruined his day. Oh, that was there. Don't ask them tell. That happens.

Yeah. Where people have some sort of like non-purity in their lineage and it leads them towards a path of hatred. Yeah, for sure, yeah. Which is fucked up. Yeah, yeah. And that's where they're thinking,

they're like, oh, if my mom wasn't, you know, Indonesian, you know, I'd have a better life. And then now they hate Indonesia, it's either part of Indonesian. Oh, so it's like a resent. Yeah, probably, yeah. I'll tell you what,

you shouldn't do this, but this podcast would probably get way more listens and views by the worst people in the world if you titled it, was Hitler actually Jewish. like that would you know you'd find the worst corners of the internet

Oh sure Yeah Well this is This is also how dumb I am I thought when I For years I thought world wars I thought they literally meant

Every single country was fight Like I thought You know what? I don't even think that that's that dumb It's called the world war Right You'd expect the whole world Yeah I thought Eskimos were like stabbing

If any it's not even fucking half the world Yeah It's pretty ill like self-centered for them to classify it as world war when it's like less than half of the not even like what was it five countries yeah it's less than double digits countries involved i mean there's there's you know these countries have allies and shit so but there's like five main ones the conga wasn't like doing anything during war i mean they were doing other stuff but they weren't like you know what i mean it's like it wasn't like there was most of i don't think what was africa

doing during war too the point being most of the countries of the world were not at war for the World War. So I don't disagree with you that it is kind of a wonky name. Yeah. And it's like why focus on the negatives? Why not focus on the people that were appeased during World War II? You lost me there. You lost me.

On the sidelines going, damn, that looks like. You had me in the first time. I'm kidding. Let's kind of like when a team wins the Super Bowl and they're like these are the best football players in the world. It's like, well, did you? You search everywhere? Did you check? Yeah. Yeah, that is really funny.

Do we, we don't do a ton of, they go world champions. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but dude, where are you getting fucking, come on. The best football players are fucking in America.

Dude, I bet there's some big ass Austrian dudes that can, yeah, and they play rugby. Yeah. And they don't know how to play American football. Yeah. You know, so like I,

listen, I will say the only, uh, you know, it's interesting when people say this. Um, Mike's just taking a little Zen break right now. But,

standing in front of the game. Yeah. I'm saying, that's okay. He's taking his in-bra. But some professional sports leagues do catch a little flack or whatever. Like, when they say, we're world,

we're world champions, and it's really just like an American or a North American league, right? Like the World Series or, you know, NBA champions, they're like, we're champions in the world or whatever. Football, I think, undeniably, if you win the Super Bowl, you can call yourself world champions. Yeah, because it's...

To teach somebody else to... be good at, but you know? It just hasn't spread to the other parts of the world like other sports have. Baseball, I'd say, there could be an argument, you know? I mean, Japan beat America, the World Baseball Classic last World Baseball Classic. They had some, you know, the best player on the team does play in America, show Hey Otani. But the point being, you know, America, or baseball is way more of an international sport. So maybe World Series is less true to its name. Yeah. And, championship when people say they're champions in the world international

basketball has gotten unbelievable but I still believe all the best for the most part the best players in the world play in North America in the NBA. Yeah because they grab them from the other countries. Right so like when you go to the Olympics and it's like oh America you know

it's like I mean USA still won the gold medal and shit their team was fucking loaded they should have but it's more competitive than it used to be you know Serbia is making a good run France is being competitive. There's some South Sudan, I think, had a really good team.

But the best players on those teams play in the NBA. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like Wenbeniama on France, Jokic for Serbia. It's like, let's be real. The NBA is still the fucking best league.

They can say world champions. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also the thing, dude, yeah, you couldn't, these people don't even know the sports. Like you could make a timeline

where you teach them the sports at the age of like 10. like other... It's like they... No, I think, dude, there's an argument that like other countries are going to eventually surpass America in terms of

producing players. But the reality is the best players still play in America. Right. For those sports. You know what I mean? Like, yeah,

I mean, it's fucking crazy in the NBA. Jokic is Serbian. Janus is Greek. M. Bid is from Africa. Even though he played for Team USA this last time. So Luca Donchich, Slovenia.

Like, the best players kind of are not from America right now. Shy Gilges Alexander from Canada. But they fucking play here. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're not going to get fucking Luca playing back and not going to move back to Slovenia and play there. It's not going to be until another country has a program that's on par better than America.

And has, like, the financials to like, is that a word? The financials to like, you can become so fucking. rich here. So it's like, why would you... Yeah, you know, it's interesting about that. So the fucking, you guys are WNBA fans, right? Big. Big fans of the W. Anyways, so shout out to the Las Vegas Aces. Do you guys know that? They just won't it all? Yeah, of course.

I keep all that up here. Star of the team is. Actually, I keep all the down here, but... Of course. Asia Wilson. Anyways, the WNBA for a long time, like, they do not play their... They do not pay their players very well at all. It's like, you'd be, like, for a professional, that you'd be like, what the fuck?

They're not making that much. A lot of them, when the WNBA season ends, they play overseas in different international leagues and get paid more there. You remember when like Britney Griner got detained in Russia? She was going to say, is that why she was in Russia? That's why she was in Russia. She was playing in a pro league in Russia.

Yeah, yeah. But that's fucking crazy. You know, it's like they have to go to a different country to get paid more. Yeah. In basketball? Yeah, that's insane. Like you'd think that an American league would pay more.

more, but they don't. No. I just, the discipline's crazy to me. Like, the idea of just dedicate, like, they're like, yeah, but then, like, you know, next thing you know, you're with Grock at like a VIP club and like, yeah, but there's just years of you not having fun. Like, I don't know. It's... I think that's how a lot of people look at comedy. Yeah, that's true. But, like, you could... It's a grind.

You could take a night off comedy and go, like, you know, go to a concert. It's not like, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but then you're not going to make it. You take one night off. Sorry, buddy. All the great stuff about the nights off, Michael. Yeah, yeah. My best. bad. Yeah. Yeah. I know there's that new Jordan Peel horror movie where it's like, it's like a

pro, it looks so unscary. Him? Yeah. Okay. Finish you were going to say. I saw it. He just makes, I don't know if it's just movies that aren't like scary for white people, but like every scenario in the movie, besides like the UFO one, I'm like, oh, this isn't like, it's like imagine you're like a professional app. I'm like, this is not even a world I can even remotely put myself in for it to be

scared. I'm like, I'm like, show unathletic. Professional athlete? Yeah. Agent to maybe. Yeah. Yeah. This movie would never be scared. Something happens to a fan. That would freak me out. Yeah. There's some crazy fucking, there's like, something does happen to a crazy fan in that movie. And they are white. Okay. Now, now I'm scared. Yeah. Yeah. It is, it's, it was a wild movie. I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be like, yeah, you go fucking see this. But it was kind of like a fucking trip experience, like an experience watching it in theaters. I will say Jordan Peel is getting, like, it's the worst reviewed movie from his lexicon, but he didn't even write or direct it. Like, he's a producer on it, and because he's a producer, it's getting labeled as a Jordan Peel movie. Oh, yeah, that sucks.

And it's really not his movie at all. I mean, you know, who the fuck knows what a producer does? Like, there's so many different labels. That's why I have really weird feelings of Judd Apato, because I'm like, he throws his name on so many things. Sure, but he doesn't write or direct all those things, you're saying? Yeah, or it's like he co-wrote. with Seth Rogen and you're like, all right, well, let's see what else Seth Rogen made. Everything's awesome. Let's see what Joe would have to be about itself. Not really good.

Sure. Well, a lot of times they'll just sign on as like a vanity producer and it's literally just to have their name. Yeah, it's like supporting your buddy's project or something like that. But I was like, dude, if I was Jordan Peele, I'd like do some, a press run. Just where I'd be like, by the way, guys, I didn't make this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even read it. I funded it, but it was kind of just like throwing cash at. this guy and he made this pile of dog Look, I think this guy's a fucking idiot. He's like, listen, I didn't want to do it. It wasn't me, you know?

I just gave him the money. Do you guys remember Key and Peel? That was me. Keep washing those. My hands were tied. I didn't want to make the phone. Key & Peel was so good, dude. I think it's, in my favorite sketch, it's just so fucking good.

Yeah, I think if you're what are the other sketch shows you'd compare to? I think Chappelle's show, like you probably wouldn't have Key and Peel. Chappelle Show, but like I think it like, they were still learning a lot. There's only three seasons. And then Key and Peele got to like work off like the backside of that. Yeah, Chappelle Show maybe had like, I mean, it's, it's tough because I think with Key and Peele coming out at the time

it did with social media, it gave us like this like replayability. Like I watch Key and Peele like on television, but so many key and peel sketches I've also just see like on Instagram or Twitter on YouTube and shit. They're so rewatchable. Whereas when Chappelle Show came out, like it wasn't even like, I don't think YouTube was even around then. So you really just watched it when it was on Comedy Central. And then quoted it in the right settings. Right. When you're looking around and you're like, you know, with your friends. I was in a Chappelle show like, bro, some of the It was amazing. iconic sketches. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tyrone Biggums, uh, the racial draft, you know, like, some of the funniest sketches, but someone's here.

Yeah, yeah. We don't have a ghost to you, by the way. Your eyes, like, shifted. Like, that was your M.K. Ultra. We're like a door opening. No, but I, I love Key and Peele, dude. I watched Mad TV growing up. Yes, which was, you know, where I, I mean, maybe they knew each other before.

But that was, like, my first introduction to Jordan Pell and Kegel and Michael Key. key and I that was like my sketch joke I watched growing up like I didn't really watch SNL when I was like a younger kid I don't watch it now and I've tried and look I put out 200 hours of bad podcasting so who am I to point a finger

but it's really bad SNL yes I was like it's made for 13 year girls and not the ones that I was like the 13 year girls I was friends with were fucking hilarious and they were mean and I'm like this like if you took a time machine and had those girls in the writers room it would be

like, and I'm not saying there's bad writers, but it's just like what gets made, you're like, somebody posted a video of like Sabrina Carpenter or sketch, they're like, Chris Farley didn't die for this. That's hilarious. I actually, I love Esenonan. I'm a big fan and I'm not just saying that because I hope I get cast one day.

Really? No, no, no. I mean, like, I, I truthfully, I haven't watched that much of the recent seasons. Yeah. And I think same of, you know, with Keampiel, most of what I see is the stuff that goes viral online. Yeah, somebody sends me something. So,

I couldn't tell you the last time. I don't often watch a full episode of SNO. But when something pops up and it goes viral, it's probably like the best sketch of that episode. Yeah, and they have good ones. I watch it and I'm like, oh, that was actually pretty fucking good. And there's certain people that I like on the show. Like, I think Mikey Day is hilarious to me. I'm not going to who that is. Which one's he? He often plays like a white dude in a vest. He's the guy with the Is It Cake show on Netflix?

He used to be on Wild and Out. Yeah. I think you'd recognize it. I like that I try to get you to describe a person and I'm like, you know what I mean? Unless he has like a purple hair, I'm gonna have no idea who this is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think

I mean, Keenan's fucking all time. Yeah, yeah. I think Marcelo is pretty good. Yeah, they have insanely talented people on the show. Yeah, yeah. that like something happens where like they're like, all right, let's make this like let's lean into the celebrity performances and make this like

really marketable towards like teenage girls. Did you ever watch the Please Don't Destroy videos? Those guys are funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also think a lot of it is like NBC as a network getting involved in the writer's room and them just having a tighter leash

than they did in like, you know, the golden days of it when like Chris Farley was on. Do you think that that is actually what happens that they're like, you can't do that. I don't think there's literally... Like censorship?

I wouldn't go so far as to say it's censorship, but there is like, there's standards that you have to submit stuff like that too. Yeah, you have to, like even South Park has to submit to them. It's just that they get a longer leash

because they're known for doing that and it's on Comedy Central and Comedy Central doesn't care about that. Yeah. But what S&L should do is what a lot of other shows and movies do is where they, they feel like,

Jackass, they filmed the whole portion of it where they were, or it may have been Wild Boys, Steveo and Chris Pontius were in Panda suits, just fucking hookers for like a super long time, and they were like, all right, well, we can't put this in here. But then Steveo, you know, getting kicked in the balls, they're like, this doesn't seem as bad. Yeah. With Team

America, they had a whole, like, there's an extended sex scene where they're like pissing and shitting on each other. And they only did that so that they were like, all right, well, you can have them the two action figures have sex. Oh, so what you're saying is, do something really, really bad, so that sort of bad stuff doesn't feel as bad.

Yeah. Like when you put a... Try blackface once a week. And then they're like, no, okay. Well, you know what? This one doesn't seem as bad. We'll keep this sketch. It's like when you put a full-sized bottle of shampoo

in your luggage at the airport so they don't find the weed. Yeah. They just take out the shampoo. These are methods I've never heard of. Yeah. It's tougher. Listen, I'll just say it's tougher with a live show.

Yeah. You know, it's like you can't really like... I mean, obviously you can decide what sketches are going to do, but you can't edit a live show. Well, that's also why I don't like it because they'll break and everything. It's somebody they're breaking. I'm like, no, they're failing and acting. Like in my mind, I'm like, they're supposed to stay at Garrett.

If they break and it's genuine. That's the fun part of breaking is how occasional it was. Some people use every time. And I feel like this has been like publicized that some people have used breaking as a crutch. If things aren't going well, they'll break on purpose and then they'll get laughs. I will say I went to SNL a few years ago, which was such a cool experience. and like anything, I think it's a lot better when you're in the room live.

And I think I just don't like live sketch. Like I like Tad TV, but I think in general I don't love. I like digital sketches just better. Yeah. No, I get that. It was, there was, dude, the fucking like spectacle of it, like seeing how it was produced, these set changes, costume changes, like, you know,

these big ass camera on the crane, like going back and forth between, you know, because it's like, it's a big ass set. and it's not a huge audience watching. And everything is just funnier live. When you see how ridiculous it is too. Because when you're watching it on TV, it looks, I feel like it looks a little more well-produced,

whereas if you're watching it live on a big set after they just like rushed to get in this crazy costume and then they're acting like a fake newscaster or some shit. Yeah. It was really well done. What's the makeup like? because I remember we used to put on a play

like in sixth grade at my elementary school because it would go to sixth grade I left six because it was cooler but they sixth grade they do a big play and then it was so weird seeing everybody afterwards

because you see them in this big theater but then you see them in person and all this makeup and shit on their face but you see like the makeup and stuff the like I mean I wasn't you know that I was in you probably still the upper deck

right I was on the upper deck so it's still far away but you see the makeup people go in during like commercial breaks. Right. Like rush over. Like touch up or something. And then like you have, you know, two people helping you with your cost.

Like say like Bowen Yang who's in like, I mean, I don't know if he still is, but it used to be, I feel like in like every fucking sketch. I feel like I remember watching him. Sketch would end. Commercial break. And then like two people would come over and be like, take this jacket off. Like put this back on. And it was like a whole production. There are people helping them like get to the next spot.

but no I maybe if I was like face to face with them I'd be like oh you have a lot of makeup on but I couldn't tell well the crazy was dude have you seen that

Sebastian in a Scalco he wears makeup on podcasts does it isn't that insane he's like yeah you know it's like a movie production so you know why not I wear makeup on like this is crazy to go

no that's wild to go hang out with Bert Kreischer and be like all right let me do a little more highlighter put my foundation on it's so crazy to be I don't know I've also decided like I'm going to age

and I kind of want to age but I bet you should so much of this shit comes from like management. Like, because you look at all these celebrities, like there's the new Hollywood jaw line. It's like, oh, dude,

fucking aesthetic standards for Hollywood are not what actual reality is. Yeah, yeah. And part of the Manascalco, like makeup on podcast shit is probably because I bet more so than those other guys that he does podcasts with. He's more public facing in terms of like

doing traditional press shit. Right? Like Manuscalco is getting, you know, he's going on foul and he's doing like all these, all these, you know, he does red carpets. He's in movies and television shows and shit. And in all those situations, he is wearing makeup because like everyone is because that's just like, you know, live television or you're getting makeup. And so maybe his mindset is, you know what? I don't want there to be a fucking stark contrast from when someone sees me on late night to when I'm on a podcast like, you know, with no makeup looking like. I appreciate that perspective, but I'm still going to make fun of him.

As you should. As you should. You know what? No, no, no. But that is an interesting thing because it's like, it would be funny to see him like this. You're punching up. I have no problem of making fun of Sebastian. But it would be funny if, and then he, the next episode, you see him on a podcast, he looks

like 100 years older. Oh, yeah, yeah. That is what I bet his perspective is. Because he's got to fucking keep his stick up. Yeah. As a lot of these guys, you know, I, trust. me, you fucking see some celebrities out in the wild, they do not look how they may look on late night.

Totally. And that's just the nature of the industry. Well, yeah. And I, as I bet you're so much management, because you're like, why is this person, I bet you, I guarantee you, like, your manager goes like, you know, I think there's a spot for you in the new Avengers movie, but they're looking over somebody a little younger. Yeah. And then you're like, and then you're like, oh, shit.

And they're like, I might give it to, I don't know. Yeah. And then you're like, jawline surgery, hairline surgery. Botox and you're like, all right, now you're in. Yeah, yeah. I might say to my agent at that point, like, hey, instead of me sitting in hair and makeup for an extra two hours every day, why don't we just CGI that? Like, why don't we just make me look younger in post?

Yeah, I mean, like... Especially in an Avengers movie where they're already doing so much of it in post. Yeah, it's basically a cartoon. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say that's more work. I'd guess that's more work. Like, doing a fucking... For the production, yeah, but not for the...

But makeup also looks a bit. Like when they did, when they changed to orcs. Yeah, practical is going to look better. And it's going to age better on film. Yeah, like the orcs, you watch them and like,

Lord of the Rings, you're like, that looks incredible. And you see like, the animated one in the Hobbit. And you're like, this is fucking so dumb. Yeah.

Completely agree. I love how that's your comparison, the orcs and Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's way better than when fucking Sebastian does his makeup. Yeah. The or the org makeup's badass. It's way better.

Yeah, well, yeah, like, I think Thanos would look so cool if they put Josh Brawlin on a fucking stilts and just like, he did do,

uh, it's like motion capture. Right. What does that mean? So like on set, Josh Brolin is, he's fucking there acting. Okay, but he's just got like a green mask on or something.

No, he's in like a black fucking unitarred and it's got like dots on him. And I think also he's wearing something so that people know the right eye line. to look at. So he's like wearing something that's on it because Thanos is fucking huge.

I think Mark Ruffalo did the same thing for the Hulk. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is actually even more impressive when you think of their performance that like they don't have any of that environment you're seeing on screen around them.

Dude, they're in a one-eathing. Being a motion capture actor, I think is talking about Lord of the Rings. Like Andy Circus has gone. Oh yeah. As Gollum,

you watch the videos of him doing that and he's just like in a fucking green screen room. Unbelievable. So you're right. I feel like there should be an award for like motion capture acting because they don't get enough. And also people acting around them

because they have to look at Josh Brawling the giant popsicle stick and a face of Thanos. They have to like look at this and like talk to like nothing. It's basically. And they're like, no, not the Infinity Stones. Yeah, it's like basically

you're basically doing porn acting but you have to sell it more because it's just like such a ridiculous thing. Why is it like porn acting? Well, because... Oh, you know, it's like porn acts. It's just like... It's like, well, because like you're...

It's the Avengers. I think you just wanted to bring up porn. No, no, no, no. I don't watch that kind of stuff. Some Michael Good podcast, man. Yeah. Family friendly. No, nope.

No, not a porn guy. Not a... Not a... Michael Good, not a porn guy, everybody. Nope. Definitely not. I actually never heard of it. No.

What is that? It's actually an acronym. Yeah. Okay. Now you have to say what the acronym is. Put you on the spot. P? people of

righteous notions okay that's what that stands for yeah and that's an organization that does they're like a they're like a nudist camp

oh okay so porn adjacent interesting interesting what do you mean porn adjacent it is it is porn you got me there I it's it's

it's based on what you're saying porn is I hope that's the next like government arm that you know they did Doge. I hope they do porn. They just do ridiculous four-letter accuracy. I wouldn't be surprised with how the way this country is going that we have porn as a political party or some shit.

Yeah, he's head of porn. He just got to point it to the head of porn. They love making up a new organization. It's like, why not just add other people to the other ones? Like, the FBI and the CIA not big enough. You've got to have like the porn. The porn industry. Yeah, I don't know. It just seems like there's a lot of going on there. I don't know. But, no, I don't really have. Not to get political.

No, no, I'm just pretty divorced. There was something I saw that was pretty... Don't bring up divorce around camera. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, dude, I will make fun of your cancer death. My parents are also divorced. I'm just less of a bitch about it. Someone's going to be in the comments talking about how outlandish that was.

I want to say I was 10 years old. Listen, it's all good. They didn't have great judgment at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're figuring shit out. I was talking about shoving a gun up a girl's ass. Yeah, I think that. that's probably when people will turn it off. Not these. I've said

so much more atrocious things on here. They're used to it. But there's something I was going to talk. There's something political I think that I was like, it was kind of funny. I don't remember it was. I got mad about some today. It was kind of stupid.

Jeff Daniels of Dumb and Dumber is now on like an acoustic guitar tour. And I don't know why that just anchors me. It just gets me so mad. And that's a political how. It's not. It's not. He's getting all.

damn political of this acoustic and bar tour. That's the blonde guy, right? Yeah, yeah. He did have a video though where he's just like, with everything going on in the world right now, what you guys need to do is come to Cafe Wah and watch me pretend to be Bob Dylan. And it should be just a guy doing his thing. You know what? He's at that point of his career where he's done so much fucking shit. You know, he's the big...

Yeah. You know, he doesn't... Wait, Jeff Daniels. Oh, yeah, I was thinking... Jeff Daniels is in he was in that show Newsroom. Yes, where he's like, this was the best country. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a second, I was mistaken him with Jeff Bridges.

And I was like, Jeff Bridges doing an acoustic guitar tour, I actually think that would be interesting. That would be sick. Jeff Daniels, so much less interesting. Yeah, it's just so weird. He probably is just like, you know, he doesn't have a lot of roles right now. And he's like, fuck it. I like playing music.

I have all the money in the world. I'm just going to do this tour. Yeah. And I am anti-heckling, but if somebody goes to that show, please just keep asking him to do dumb and dumber. Have you been around Cafe Wah since the Bob Dylan movie came out?

No, does everybody just... Well, it's so annoying because it's just every idiot and their mother walking by Manetta Tavern going, that's where Bob Dylan lived in the mood. That's where Bob Dylan used to take shits. Like, they're just pointing and they're like, oh my God. Well, I was also talking to Ryan O'Toole about this. Just the

that is the most inferior anything in Greenwich Village or the guys that think they're beaten necks. It's like this, you're not going to be the next spot. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, it's If I see another white guy with an acoustic guitar, I'm going to lose my mind. It just infuriates me. Unless he has like a scar on his face. That's probably what they say about us.

You're like, you're not going to be the next Bill Burr, buddy. Okay? You're not going to fucking... That's fair, but I think the timeline of the 1960s... But you're saying they're wearing a beret and walking around with a fucking acoustic guitar, and you're like, dude, fuck off. No, no, I get the parallel. But it's like, we're talking about, like, Greenwich Village four years ago.

Not Bill Burr, but like other people... Yeah, yeah, yeah. versus Greenwich Village in the 70s. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I think we're also, now, we still got time.

So, uh, yeah, we're, we're, do you have somewhere to go? No, I don't. We have three and a half minutes. What do you want to, what do you want to say? We're talking about ghosts, and you're a ghost experience. Oh, yeah.

I've told you this, I think. Maybe. Yeah, in my, uh, in my apartment, um, pretty sure it's haunted. I live in a building that used to be an old factory that probably didn't have like a lot of safety. What type of factory? Welding gloves specifically, which is really niche.

Where is it? It's on, it's on, no one's going to. No, say your address. Yeah. You could have just said it's over there. It's over there. It's so close that I was like I should say. Also, I didn't know this with the metadata.

They can find my apartment. You know, if you like record something, you can literally search it for metadata and just look up coordinates on it. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, I had no idea was the thing. I hate that so much. Yeah, if you don't, like, edit something properly and take out the metadata, like, you can send a picture from your phone to somebody and then they can look up like, okay, one. If this is taken on my phone, everybody could just literally see exactly where I live.

I hate that. Damn. Yeah. So tell me about your ghosts, huh? Yeah. So it would, I moved in and I would hear, like, I could hear my neighbor's footsteps in his apartment and I could hear footsteps in the hallway. And I, like, could, I could tell where those were. Yeah.

And one night I'm in my bed. it's a studio apartment so I can see like the whole thing. Sure. And I hear footsteps in my kitchen. And I turn on my light and I'm looking at my kitchen hearing footsteps in it. Nothing there. And that's like freaking me out. Yeah.

I've come home to like cabinets being open that like I know I didn't leave open because I don't, I just don't leave open cabinets. Yeah. And then the worst was a, uh, there's a shit in the toilet. I don't take shit. There's a shit in the sink. No. I was.

I was like about to go to sleep one night. I have my head on the pillow. I had another pillow on top of my head. Because that's just how I sleep sometimes. Like a pillow sandwich? Yeah. I kind of like that. I love it.

I feel secure. I've never done that. And I felt, try it up. I felt like a very definitive like press like that. Like down on my head and then not like a smothering me. You ever really? No. I live alone.

I'm in a studio. Just like a like that. And I sat straight up and turned on the lights and I went, you can't do that. And then I just watched movies the rest of the night. Yeah. And then I sage the place after that. Really?

Yeah. Has everything been good since the saging? It's definitely been more chill. I will say my girlfriend came over with their dogs the other night. And you know how dogs can like see stuff? Yeah. Do they see ghosts? I think they can like pick up on like negative energy.

They were like barking at the corner of the room or something. They didn't bark, but they looked right at that spot in the kitchen where I heard the footsteps. and one of them just fucking locked onto it immediately. He's looking at it and like the hair on the back of his neck is standing up. And I didn't even, I didn't even mention it to her. I just like petted him and tried to like chew him away from that area. But I didn't tell her because I was like, she's not going to go to, she's going to leave. Your girlfriend?

Yeah, I think she's like. So she doesn't know about all this ghost? I've told her about it, but I told her like, it's fine now. Like I told her I caged. And then the dog came over and did that and I was like, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not going to say anything. She's going to fucking listen to this podcast. She's totally going to say it. and break up with you.

Yeah, she's going to get 57 minutes in and go, what the fuck you didn't tell me about the ghost? I like how the ghost is a, he's a spiritual, like, you'd assume superhuman creature, but you just saying, you can't do that. He's like, I'm sorry. That's the thing.

I don't know if that stopped anything. That's why I staged. I was like, that couldn't have been enough. No one's ever listened to me. I saw, my favorite thing I saw on, like, I got like clip from ghost adventures recently. And there's this guy sitting there

with a bottle of whiskey, like a ghost hunter. And then he, like, takes a shot. he goes, I didn't want to do that. But the spirit was just telling me I need to take another shot. That's fucking awesome. The spirit's telling me to drive right now. Spirit's telling me I got to go to the strip club.

I don't know what that's about. Okay, spirit, I'm sorry. That's hilarious. Yeah, I was telling you, the only, like, weird thing I've had happened recently was like, it was definitely just some form of, what do you call it when you have, sleep paralysis. Like, it was like some form

of sleep paralysis where I fell asleep or I'll tell what I had first because this really did freak me out for a couple hours. But at last I thought it was good. So I was like more of my developing schizophrenia. I woke up to like a 911 call. Like, it was like this like over the radio. It was like there's bodies.

There's bodies. There's four dead bodies. Like you heard it. I'm awake in my room. Yeah. Looking for where this sounds coming from. And I'm looking in my drawers because it sounds like it's coming from my fucking drawer. And then I look, my phone's on the floor, but it's dead. Maybe that was like the last thing it played.

But I'm like awake while I'm hearing this. And it was like fucking terrifying because I was like, I was less like, oh, is there a ghost? It was more like, am I losing my fucking mind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because I woke up. Oh, you could clearly hear it. I could clearly hear it. But I was, I woke up to it.

So it's possible that it was one of those like just foggy brain, half asleep things. But what I fell asleep to is kind of funny. The last video I watched on my phone was somebody died on a Polaris on Kid Rock's ranch. What's a Polaris? It's like a motorized golf cart. And there's a 911 call I was in due of Kid Rock being like, get over here. We need people.

It's like, he crashed the Polaris. And they're like, where are you? He goes, didn't you fucking hear me? Get over here. This woman's like, who are you? She goes, it's Kid Rock. Now will you show some urgency?

It's Kid Rock. He's like, give me a second. My name is kid. Yeah. I didn't want a name drop on the call. Wait, so that was, you were watching that on YouTube. Yeah, and then I fell asleep. And then you fell asleep.

And then I went up to a 911 call. Probably, what I assume happened, you could go the ghost route and be like there's a fucking ghost or whatever. Or you're watching that shit on YouTube. YouTube does the thing where just auto plays the next video. And because you're watching something where someone's like call 911, there's fucking dead bodies, there's just going to be a string of videos of people being like there's dead bodies. And then your phone dies because it keeps playing. YouTube videos in the middle of the night. Yeah, and it just died right as I was waking.

Yeah, that's what I thought too. It's probably either that or that. I think you astral projected into Kid Rock's body and you were having a first person experience. You know what? Take away my logic. That's definitely what happened. Looking at the tipped over Polaris going, oh my God! Yeah, it's definitely Cam's theory.

There's no way. And I think my biggest fear is losing my mind. So it's way more scared of that than ghost. I was like, oh, I'm losing. because it was just so crazy to hear radio noises and not... I'm emptying out my drawers. I'm like looking through all my shit.

I'm like, where the fuck is this playing? You had like a fucking episode. Basically, yeah. That's really your deepest fear losing your mind? Yes. I get very scared

taking mushrooms and stuff like that because I'm like, oh, you know, you never really get stuck like that, but people just get them weird after that sometimes. But my fear is like, yeah, but it's probably because when I was 14, I took mushrooms and thought I was losing my mind, so that's probably like a permanent.

14 is... That's early from the monstrumma. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why, yeah, my biggest fears. You ever talked to anyone about that? Other than on a podcast. No.

I know. I go to therapy. This is your therapy. Other than two dudes with microphones. Yeah, yeah. For comedians, like, therapy is just like actually telling the joke on stage to like 14 people and being like, I needed to get that out of my system. Thanks, guys. Thank you for being.

And they're like, oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think it was a ghost thing. but it makes more logical sense that either the thing was playing or also like when I was going through my drawers it's possible my phone fell out

so the sound was coming from inside my drawer but it's totally possible I knocked my phone off while that was all going on or this was in here yeah could have been one of your roommates just fucking playing something too that's totally possible it was just weird because like

I am listening and I can hear where the sound is coming from it's coming from right where my drawer is which is next to my bed out of all the options I think it's what Cam said with this astral projection in the kid rock.

Likely. Yeah. Likely. I don't know how it could be anything else at this point. No. I think your nighttime routine of being like, all right, I'm going to start winding down. Let me put on police chases. I don't put on police reports so I can just mellow out.

Time to watch cops. Time to watch body cam footage while I wind down from the day. That's how he goes to sleep. You know, somebody will go to sleep with the TV on. He has body cam footage on YouTube. He's got it in a VR. He's living it. I'm a hero.

We are over time, though. What do you guys want to promote? Camion go first while I think about nothing. Down bad comedy show. Not weekly at the moment, but we have shows on November 14th, December 3rd, and December 17th at Pubkey in the West Village.

Nice. So show out for those. They're fun. My name's Adam Bramson. I do stand-up comedy in New York City, mostly perform at the comedy shop. So just come there. Go to my Instagram,

and I always post my shows. Both very funny guys, follow on Instagram. And, yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah. Thanks for having us. And fuck you, Jeff Daniels.

Yeah.