Morning Good - All We Do Is Drink And Fight - Episode 104

Episode Date: August 7, 2022

Thanks to Ryan O'Toole for coming back on the show and to Chris Reiter for joining us for the first time. Check out both of these comics for more funny stuff and info on shows coming up.Find Chris on IG and TikTok @christopherthecomic and Ryan on IG @itsryanotoole. Also make sure to check out The Ryan O'Toole Podcast.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. We started. All right, we're going. All right, we're here with Chris Ryder. Yeah, boy. And Ryan O'Toole. What up?

Wait, so what made you bring up the, was there a crime on the way over here? No, he just said how Bushwick was And Bushwick Well, there was crime on the way of it Let's not act like crime sleep Yeah, yeah, it was like it stopped I just didn't see it Yeah, yeah

Actually, no there was like three ambulances parked A block around from me, yeah Yeah, Bushwick is popping Yeah, that's where you live now Yeah, best time Bushwick Yeah How do you, you said You do like it or you don't like it?

I love it It's decently quiet I'm like the 6th floor, I don't hear shit Oh yeah I just would have to like leave the house Like I turned on the citizen app So fucking And it's like a bar downstairs

There's ones that, like... What kind of about... It's like... It's a... It's mostly... It's mostly like... All the girls have like Pat Benatar haircuts.

Really? Yeah, very alt. Very hipster. Last night it was fucking like a mob of kids. I don't know if they're like to do concerts. It was music. There's a pool table. I can see a pool table.

But once I got an alert there was a fight of 20 people or bigger... A fight? Yeah. I feel you don't see hipsters fighting a lot, though. You, yeah. No, you usually don't. It might just be a report, though.

It might just be a report, Yeah, yeah. It could have been an argument. Like, it wasn't even an actual... That's what you get with... They're fighting over... Yeah. It was a disagreement.

They're fighting over pronouns or something. They're like, it's... It's getting violent, verbally. That's what you... I love what people say, verbal... Somebody verbally assaulted me. I'm like, so they yelled that you're not...

You're not assaulting somebody. You're verbally... You're verbally... Get out of the fucking street. Yeah. They verbally assault. That's crazy. That's the thing with the citizen app.

The thing with Citizen is, it's like a police scanner, so you get the initial thing. That's why you know, shit's really hot when it's like, oh, some motherfucker got shot. Like, shots fight, like, you know, but like, shit like that where it's like, oh, an argument

or stuff like that, yeah, yeah, someone might have got stabbed there, but it also might just be like a bullshit domestic dispute. Right. Yeah, you know. There's also, like, I always hate it because, I mean, it sounds like I hate hipsters. I mean, I kind of do. This part, half its means is ranting. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? But it's like, there's always that one hipster where, like, you could tell

they're dressing rugged, but they're soft. Like, that's not, that's most of them. All of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hipsters are softer than baby shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm not a hard person by any means, but, like, there's a certain level that you're like, oh, you're a giant pussy.

Yeah. Like, it probably really hurt you to pierce your ears. Like, you can tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like, I think the thing with hipsters that stands out the most is you get trihads in any group, right? Like, so it's like you look like, there's hood dudes that are trihads where it's like,

once you really know them, you know they're not about it. There's white kids who act ghetto as fuck, but you can tell who, like, really the crazy white kids are. Yeah, yeah, you could stand. But the thing with hipst is. It's like, you know immediately, like, right off the rip that, like, no, you're doing this. This is a Halloween costume to you. But there's all there's, like, don't get around, there's some girls.

You go back to Grinish, Connecticut, and you fucking, and you eat very politely with your family. Even though they're in Bushwick of the Lower East Side fucking hanging out at some punk bar. Yes, yes. But then there's people you see actual, like, cuts on their wrist. You're like, okay, you. Definitely, definitely. Yeah, yeah, there is. I respect it.

It's fucked up, but I respect that you. There's real hips. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there are real hipsters. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there are real hipsters. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there are real people.

You're like, no, you really can't afford those real shoes. Yeah. Yeah, there's real ones, you know. But I feel like it's kind of lost in a way. Like, I remember I saw a group of kids on like Astda Place and they looked like, it wasn't even kids. They were like probably like in their like late 20s early 30s. Yeah, it is like 45 year old.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like, well, they never grew out of it because there wasn't anything to grow out of. That's just who they are. Yeah, I guess they must have been like high schoolers when like, I don't know. What are those like, and I don't mind the music. Like, I like the strokes and stuff. But I feel like maybe they were like high school when like the stroke.

But probably before they're probably like in their 20, 25 when the strokes came out. And then they still like, you know what I mean? If you lived in New York when like, because the hipster movement started like, what was it like 2010-ish? Maybe, I don't know. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. So maybe if you were like in your late 20s then and then. Who are you from?

I'm from Florida. I feel like Florida, because Missouri I would say it was 2010. Yeah. Probably in New York in like 2005 or some shit. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they've been in that for, and then the old ones are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you do see, like, I hate being cynical, but I'll see, like, a hipster dad and I'll just hate him for some reason.

I don't know why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just, like, got, like, this, like, weird beanie and he's with, like, his kid, and his kid's like, yeah, he doesn't have to wear shoes in the restaurant. Yeah, his name's rain or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also, I don't mind, like, full-blown hippies. Like, if you really are, like a-oh. There's a difference, right?

I fucks with hippies. Yeah, me too, me too, me too. Yeah, especially you're from the side. So there's some, like, cool hippies that, like, live in, like, a van. Right. They got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hips, hippies, oh, cool as fuck.

Hipsda's a fucking gay, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a different vibe. I do. I can't stand hipsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's, yeah, the vibe. Because hippies almost have, like, longer hair, beard stuff, but then the hipster is, like,

it's a weird. I think it's just, like, when you meet, like, real, because, like, growing up, like, in Boston and Massachusetts, it's, like, I knew, like, Vermont hippies. These were, like, like, yeah, that's. Yeah, that sounds like real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, real, these were old people. Like, I always say, like, when people, look, when I think of hippies, the people I think of is Ben and Jerry.

Like, the actual guy, like, those people, those dudes are hippies through and through. They're not doing that because they want to make money in ice cream. They're not doing that to, like, make some cool. Those dudes are hippies through and through. And there's a lot of people like that, especially that are, like, now in their 60s and 70, like much older people who live through all the civil rights shit, all the term. all the turmoil in this country, 40, 50 years, all that. Those, that doesn't grow,

you don't grow out of that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, I think, of course, there are people, I would say, definitely tried to be hippies. Oh, and they cut their hair like the next week, though, that's not for me.

Yeah. But, like, hipsters, though, I think it's much more common where people is like, oh, this is like, I want to live, like, in this cool neighborhood in Brooklyn or wherever the fuck

and be that, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, some of it's maybe anima, because sometimes I'll see them, I'm like, I feel like that guy would hate me, so I immediately get a mindset that I'm like, I don't like you. I don't like you. Yeah, yeah, hey, hey, I'm going to hate you before you're hate me.

With a straight white male, Michael, good. You know how tough it is these days? I mean, it's tough to get outside the house. No, but it's like she lived in Brooklyn. So, like, we had that a lot where I would see like the, like, I don't know, I would just get that vibe from a guy. But it seems like it's spread. Like I thought that was only a Brooklyn thing.

And now it seems like I see more and more of them. But also, like, this area's got a lot of it, too, going on. Oh, yeah, I'll say Marxmanship, for sure. Yeah, totally. I'm like, then there are also some vampires that love one say, Bark, like people that think of their vampires, I'm like, I'm kind of cool with that. Yeah, hell yeah.

Like, I saw, like, I went time with just a dead pigeon in his hand. I'm like, he's committed. Oh, yeah, baby. Right, whatever he's doing. Like, the people that just look like they're in, like, fucking, like, dude, people look like they're in, like, Blade or, like, the Matrix. And I'm like, that's cool. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm a big fan. I love a nice duster. Yes, yes. I love lunatics, dude. That's funny, because those people, Columbine happened, and people were dusters, and they were like, now I'm still gonna keep dressing like somebody shoots up a school.

I'm not gonna do it, but I'm still gonna- Trenchcoat Mafia. Yeah, yeah, exactly. What's a duster? I never heard of that one. It's something in between a trench coat and like a straight-up leather,

like shaft jacket. Yeah, yeah. Because trench coat, I feel like that was what the group of, trench coat with like pedophile or like. Definitely. It's a weird mid-brown. Definitely.

Yes. It's not quite leather. It's not quite whatever the fuck material trench coats are. Yeah, yeah. But then like the duster's like it's like almost It's supposed to be flame retardant. I think so.

I only know that from it's always sunny. Right. Yes. That's why we just not even know the word does. Yeah, exactly. I don't have no any what it is outside of that. I never heard it before. Yeah.

But there's also like, there's some shops in St. Mark's. I don't even know what this is. How do they stay open? Like, I've never, there's so many shops just in the East Village. I've never seen a single soul in them. I'm like, what do you sell? They're like, we sell baby dolls that are zombies. And they also sell, like, TV parts.

You're like, what is your business model? There's a couple. For old TVs with the big backs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a couple wild stores over there. It's a B.C.R. Repair store around the corner. There's stores in there. There's one store over there.

They don't want to let you take pictures of anything inside, and it's the freakiest place I think I've ever been in my life. Sure wasn't just like a massage parlor or something? No. It's like a clothing store slash, like they sell everything. It's like I don't even know what, I wouldn't even call it just a clothing store. They sell clothes in there, but they sell crazy shit in there.

What are these just talking about urban outfiters? Yeah, it's just like, basically. You don't want to take pictures. Yeah. I'm like trying to get. You're like a picture of like a woman. You're like, you go to the changing rooms with your camera. You're like, I don't even like you take pictures of women.

I'm trying to obscured something. What the fuck? Hipster piece of shit. But there's some weird places down there, though. There's some weird places. I'm going to Boston, Sue. What's the, what's the, what's the hipster father? Hipsters, I mean, they're everywhere, but.

They're everywhere, but like, it's not like New York with hipsters. The thing you get in Boston is like, I always tell this with people, and it's like, people are always surprised. Like, there's so many colleges in Boston. Like, like, that's like, like, that's, like, like, that's like, like, the majority of the of the city of Boston. Really? Dude, there's so many colleges.

There's colleges where people say they went to like, oh yeah, I went to school in Boston and then they say the school and I was like, I never heard of that. Where is it?

And then they'll be like, oh yeah, it's on the corner like fucking Boylston and Dartmouth. I was like, well, I didn't know about this. There's so many colleges. So it's like you get,

now, when are you going? I'm going in like three weeks. So you, nah, so then, well, maybe you will. I mean, it's, that'll be the end of August,

middle of August. So you might get it. You'll notice the difference in Boston. Like, if you're in Boston right now and you're out drinking and, like, so if you're just in the city, you'll notice the difference now than if you were there in September. Once school's in, there's so many college kids there. So, like, you get a lot of, like, I wouldn't say, I mean, there's hipsters there for sure, especially in, like, Cambridge and Somerville and shit like that. But, like, it's also, it's not, I'm saying it like it's going to affect my trade. It's not, it's not, ruin my vacation.

I'm like, oh, fucking hipsters ruined my time. How was Boston? How was it? How was it? I don't know. fucking dot rats and fucking hipsters. That's right. Couldn't go anywhere that's seen of flannel.

It was horrible. It's 110 degrees. But also, I think flannels are no longer hipster anymore. No, no. It's kind of a good look. They were like five or six years ago, though. Yeah, now it's, yeah, yeah. Now it's just a good, yeah, exactly. But yeah, yeah, I'm excited.

I only went there when I was a kid. I did one of those duck boat tours. I remember that being the coolest thing in the world. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. The tour of shit in Boston's cool. Because, like, I didn't realize it. Everywhere is cool. People shit on stuff like that.

Dude, you got to just, know what to do. I'll give you some. I love people that are like, I hate tourists when they're a tourist. I'm like, you're going to be a tour. Don't be like, oh, I want to go to the cool. You just want to come back feeling cultured and be like, oh, I went to the best restaurants. I didn't go to the tourist spots.

I'll give you guys some good places to go because like, like, there's just shit you have to do in the city. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's like, dude, I feel like retarded for saying it, but it's like, I never started eating seafood until I moved to New York. Really? When I, I don't. I know. I love seafood, yeah, yeah.

Well, you're going to have. Well, I feel like... Florida and Boston probably both have good seafood. But it's different time. It's so different, though. We don't eat the shit in Florida. Like, we don't eat that shit. You know what I mean?

Like, but... Because one of my friends, she's from Louisiana and, like, she always talks about, like, the crawfish and, like, all that shit. That doesn't exist. Like, this is, like, there's amazing seafood in Boston. Like, I go home, it's, like, all I do is eat fish when I go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and that's the beauty of it.

Like, you can get it at just, like, some... Especially when you go, like, if you... Are you just staying in Boston? So my buddy lives there. I'm doing shows like for like three or four nights. And then yeah. Hell yeah. But I'm happy because my Saturday night show is an early one,

which I was like praying for it because I'm like, I want to do go out and like feel the city and like have a good time. You know what I mean? It's like, it's a weird balance when you're doing shows outside. You're like, I want to like also have a good time. Totally.

Totally. I don't waste my time because you get drunk for three days and not do shows. So I'm like, yeah. Totally. It's a dude. I love, I fucking love Boston. Like one of my buddies, he was here the other night,

my buddy Adam. And he's from East Boston. and we were talking like he's thinking about moving and it's like i love i loved leaving boston and massachusetts in general but like when i go back like the delicacies and the great things boston has i'm like fuck i wish this was in new york such as seafood and like certain shit about boston's like a gulap iron that sorry boston's like not a big city but it's like i mean just don't hold the part where it connects okay okay i'm not gonna touch yeah yeah Boston's like the smallest big city in the united see i like that because new york almost gets a little too much it's too much shit on top of

Yeah, yeah. It's overwhelming. Nothing stops here. Nothing turns off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't mind that as much as like, I don't know, because at night everything's dead as fucking. Like, honestly, because, like, I'll do a lot of midnight shows to pair,

and I'll come back and surprisingly kind of dead. Right. Here it, right, maybe in this neighborhood it is. What do you think still going, like, oh, okay. I lived in mid, dude, I was living on mid, I was living right on the corner at 34th in Lexington, like, a couple years ago, and nothing shut off ever. See, I think I would actually like that. Bro.

Yeah. The thing is, nothing shuts off. and people are being loud as fuck downstairs, and the next thing you know, it's 8 in the morning there's rush hour traffic. Oh, so it doesn't, yeah. So it's like the boss shit blends in with like the chaos. My room is also soundproof.

So I took rubber. We have no windows in our room anymore because I cover them in rubber. Which I'm committed to because everybody's like, oh, you don't get sunlight, but I'm like, I'll come out here for sunlight. And then there, it's kind of nice because you can also sleep in on week.

Like, it completely blocks out the sun. So it's like, it also keeps you from laying in bed all day. Or it doesn't. If you want to lay in bed all day, you can, but you're not going to like, take your lap. I'll write out here instead of like I hear no sound besides the bar like I can't hear people yelling because the bar it's bass frequency so I guess like the sound is like you feel it yeah so that's the only thing that I hear but like I can't hear cars or people yelling or any of that shit outside but yeah I don't know you just got to figure that out can you hear anything in your neighborhood yes I can hear the train I can hear the J but like it just sounds like you know the sound of central air kicking on yeah yeah yeah that's what it sounds like so you have any train dreams I used to have a dream

when I was a kid the train would just run through my house Every once in a while I don't know what it is But sometimes the train will come by And like the whole building Will like shake Oh shit

So you're like the apartment They have in the movie We're like the couple's arguing And they're like we're not gonna make Ed's meat Right Because I think there's always like You just hear dishes jingling Yeah yeah yeah

I always think of that with the J train Because like do you live like a good amount Away from the J train Nope I can see that bitch It's not I can hit it with a rock Yeah Because like I don't

There's a lot of when you When you're going like riding on the J train, especially because it's, like, elevated. There's certain times where you're moving, and it's like, you're, like, 10 feet away from someone's a pot. Yeah, you're literally, like, 10 feet away from taking a shit or jerking on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, now I'm thinking about weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, like, right there.

Right, yeah, yeah. How the fuck does someone live, like, right there? I couldn't, like, I'm not that that close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could spit on that bitch. But, like, I'm, I'm a solid, like, football field away. That's, that's enough. Yeah, that's enough.

Yeah, we're about to get priced out here for sure. I'm so excited. I'm so excited for them because we got like a crazy COVID deal on this. Like we're paying like $0.00 for rent. But I'm like literally so excited for them to try to pull shit with us. You don't mind me asking.

How much is this place? So we were paying, we first moved in. We're each paying $1,000. We're paying $2,000 total. Two grand for this place right now? Yeah. And this place for people listening right now, this is one of, I'll say it right now,

this is one of the nicest apartments I've been in that I'm friends with. One bedroom, washer and dryer. Big living room. I know, wash a dryer. Great bathroom. street, a giant

fire escape right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now we're paying 1275 each. So it rolls $5.50 on you? Yeah, but that was after arguing with them because they're trying to raise it more. It's like, what, $25.50? Whatever 1275 times, too, is horrible a man.

Yeah. Yeah. And reading. I'm a dumbass. But, yeah, so I feel like... 2550 for this. This is fucking nice. That's pretty solid. No, it is. Yeah. But we're also... We're on different things. I feel like she's going to want it. She's getting paid more for a job and then I'm hopefully moving away from having

so like my finances are going down while hers are going up. Sure. So we're trying to like meet somewhere in the middle. Upgrade and fucking pro-rate this shit, okay? What do you mean? I mean, you keep the same percentage you're up paying and she I mean she needs to be the man of the family now. I mean, exactly. I have, there's no part of me that's like bothered by that. Like I know. No, who gives a fuck, dude?

He gives a fuck, you know. Because you can't Steve Harvey. He's like the only one. Ritz too high to give a fuck about that shit. Yeah, yeah, but Steve Harvey's a fucking, by the way, have you guys watch Steve Harvey's HBO half hour? It's a mate, dude, he's one of the best comics alive. Of all time. Wait, his old one, was he at the high top? Yes, yes.

When he's talking about O.J. Simpson and the bitch. I've never seen. I saw, actually saw the last one he did. It wasn't bad. No, no, no. He's fucking so underrated. Like his, uh, he's, uh. He's, uh, self a fucking favor in.

Is he in the yellow suit in that one? No, no, no, no. That's a great one. It's not the yellow suit. You're getting fired? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right up there.

like a proper black suit. Yeah. Bro, it is, do you have HBO? Yeah, I do. Dude, it is an absolute must. I think it might be my favorite. Is he the ass wiping joke in that one?

No, it's the shit about like, he has the shit where he talks about going to Africa and the O.J. Simpson shit. That was when O.J. was in jail, but he, that was before the result. I have seen that one. Yes, I know the Africa bit. Yeah.

He's like, the son's leaning on. Bro, his act outs. He's amazing, bro. So fucking. He said, I watch. He watched him. He did Kevin Hott's podcast, like, maybe last summer. And he was talking, and he really, like, spelt out everything good. Where he's like, I would love to, like, talk about what I talk about and shit. But, I mean, this guy's made hundreds of millions. So stupid money. And he's so smart with his investments and shit like that. And, like, but he talks about it's like, and he talks about how he talks about how much he, like, Adews, like, Chappelle and Chris Rock, because they just go out and, like, let it rip. And he's talking about how him and Kevin Hart have, like, there's so many people that are responsible just on. their income, like the amount of people that work

Steve Harvey, I didn't think about that. I'm kind of mad when I see comics do that because I'm like, dude, you're robbing us a state. You don't owe me anything to be fair, but I'm like, you're kind of robbing us of good stand-up. But you're also employing, like, a whole network of people. I mean, Steve Harvey has a entire team, like an entire

But it is funny, though, because then he'll say some crazy shit on like his TV. I'm like, you could just do this on stage, but you're already going to get in trouble. Yeah, but the backlash and shit, but he talks about he breaks it, dude, the Kevin Hart, Steve Harvey podcast. Is that what it's called?

No, whatever Kevin Hott's podcast was called, he had Steve Havie on. Oh, okay. And like, they get into the standup. But Steve Havie said, he's like, he's like, I still got an hour in me. He's like, I'm going to do it. He's like, these motherfuckers. Like, he was talking like who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the best, bro. He's the best. He's still hilarious. Like, when you watch Family Feud, like, his facial expressions and the way he reacts to people. Oh, it's amazing. Because, like, Family Feud's so smart because they'll get like, like, the whitest family imaginable.

And then put him against the. blackest family imaginable. And then you have Steve Harvey in the middle. And it's just like, thank God there's like, it's just the best recipe for television. Oh, they struck gold with Steve Harvey. Oh, big time. Like, they really had no great, like Richard Dawson

in the 70s was their fucking man. Yeah, yeah. And they just had like a series of just the whiteest, host you could find. And it's also like, it's not even just that show. It's like there's very few good show hosts. You don't mean they just fucking suck. But my thing is he'll also have like, I don't mind him having crazy views. Like he's like, he's like, if you don't,

believe in God, there's no reason for me to even talk to. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, that's wild. That's wild. But he believes it, though. Yeah, yeah, but I'm also like, I'm like, I like, I want to hear your point of view on shit. Because, like, you're, you know what I mean? It's like, just because I disagree with you on, like, some shit like that. It doesn't mean, like, you're not, you're going to have also interesting ideas. You're not going to be, like, some boring person that's going to have nothing interesting to say. I mean, dude, he's definitely, I'd say he's probably in my top five favorite comedians.

Yeah, yeah. Easily, like, the Kings of Comedy shit, like, I wish all those shows were recorded because there's like a, like, there's a lot of, like, Bernie Max different Kings of Comedy said. Yes, there are. But there's not a lot. Like, when Steve Harvey hosts that shit, that shit's out of control. Like, I've never seen a host just, like, raise hell, bro. Like, he, like, is like, holy fuck.

In a fucking stadium over the fucking... I know. Bro, they're in basketball. Right. You know what I mean? Like, he's got... I'm trying to think, because there's the HBO one where he's got the yellow one. But then there's another one where I think we might be talking about the same one.

There's two of them. Yeah, yeah. And both of them are... There's one on YouTube and then there's one that's one that's not only on HBO. Okay. I'm talking about the one.

Then there's a third one because there's two on... Oh, there's a bunch. He has a ton of... Yeah, yeah, but there's two... Yeah, he has lots of like... Even the one he put out, bro, the last one he put out, it was in like 2007 and 2008.

That was really good. That one's on Spotify. Yeah, very good. Like, very, very good. The one thing is you do get kind of robbed from a lot of the stand-up if you listen to it audio. Because you so...

Because there's visual components. Yeah, you have to watch him. That's why seeing him, like, you always see it. It's like, Kings of Comedy, I feel like did the best shit where it's like, obviously black audience is like the best in shit where like they show motherfuckers like their feet or their head and shit. But it's like it makes sense because like you couldn't get that just listening. Like you need to see. Like he does this shit about when he goes to Africa and he's like the son's just leaning on you.

Bro. And he just like hits it like he's leaning on the fence chewing. Like that shit's crazy. Crazy. Which one is it? Have you seen the one where he's like, I know not all you all go to church. He's like some of y'all snuck liquor in here. And the camera pans to some guy putting a bottle.

It's so fucking funny. Is that the one you're talking? It's so funny because they literally catch somebody in the audience doing it. It's in the special. Dude, that's like, my favorite is that, what, great drawl is special. Some guy fell asleep in it. And they kept it in there. Who special is this?

Greg Jaraldos. Oh, yeah, no, I didn't see that. No, that was a showcase. It was him, Dane Cook. They were filming in Vegas. And the Rastafari and fell in sleep with it. I don't come to where you work and fall asleep Whatever you deal pot, bro

That's fucking I haven't watched a lot of his shit Greg Geraldo He's one of my favorites He's really good, yeah He was a killer? Yeah, yeah He uh, did he, was it suicide or overdose?

He was overdose, yeah But I think his was like weird Because it was It was so sad because it was like He was supposed to have benefit For like That night, right?

For sober people Which is the most depressed Like you're there to like go up And motivate people Like yeah guys, you can do You can do I chaos. The speaker tonight died. You can't.

That sucks. RIP. Yeah, yeah, that shit sucks. You said it like you knew them. No, I'm just, well, I feel for, like, like, truly great comics. It's like, they do the same thing I do. You know what I mean? Like, I do, like, I'm not going to say, like, I'm anything, but it's like, I go out every day and do comedy.

So it's like, I feel, like, that sucks, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it definitely does. It's fun to make fun of and stuff, but it's like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it is fucked up, but it's like, Like when somebody's also, like, especially talented, you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

I really wonder what's going to happen with the fucking fentanyl shit because, like, it's fucking so... It's nuts, bro. It's, I feel like it's going to get worse. Why wouldn't it? I'm on the conspiracy theory that it's coming from China. Like, I'm just a fully in. It is made. It is made there.

It's made... I've talked about a podcast. I think it is hilarious, though, that white people started the opium wars and pushed it into China and ruined that country for a century. Right. And then now they're doing this thing. Payback. Yeah.

Without a doubt. I mean, could you... But if anything, they should be doing that to England more because, like, we weren't involved in the open wars. We weren't even a cut. What year was that? Like, fucking 14. No, that's right, we were getting over here, you know?

So when we were getting here... By the way, we're also two people that I feel like do not know timelines here. We're kind of like... We don't, we don't. But I will say this. I know fentanyl. Okay? That is one thing I will say.

And it's not... Dude, it is not... This shit is not slowing down whatsoever. Like, bro, it's like, you realize... It's like everyone always says, like, oh, it wasn't a problem until it got to like fucking middle class white America which is true. The shit is everywhere, bro.

You go to the suburbs, you go wherever. Dude, if you're walking into a corner store or whatever, there's some fucking strung out junkie outside. Like, it's everywhere. Somebody had the best bit about how people on heroin they'll fall asleep standing up. And in no other position does anybody fall asleep standing. It's like a horse on the coast.

It's like that's impressive. Wait, so do people take fentanyl just straight? No. Or is it only being put in other drugs? It's like mixed in heroin. So like what fentanyl was, they used to give people like patches pretty much to like, oh, don't

take heroin. But it also is, it has a purpose. So like, for, it's a very strong opiates. Like, if your arms cut off, like, they should be giving you fentanyl. Like, there are purposes for it. But there's an influx of it. So I think... Purpuses for Percocet and Vicodin and OxyContinue, you know what I mean? But this shit is like,

I mean, it's cut with everything. But the thing is, like, people don't realize how strong it is. Like, they caught some dude, uh, they caught them like in a tunnel going from Mexico. go to California. This was a couple months ago. And he had so much fentanyl on him that they said if he broke it up and distributed it

like over the country, he could kill legitimately like a hundred million people. It depends on the state. Huh? Depends on the state. They do it some pussy states. They're going to die easier. It was no exaggeration when these people said like a hundred million people could. This is just one guy on his backpack smuggling drugs

into the country. It's really the LSD of opiates because LSD is a small amount. of it. It's kind of like the same thing in a sense that you're like a little bit goes like... I have a friend who regularly used heroin and she would tell me that she hated fentanyl and you can know immediately once it's in your shit because it's like it's so strong. So one of my buddies died from a couple years ago because he had, you know, that made sense because he had oxycodone that was cut with fentanyl because I get why some piece of shit drug dealer would like be like, okay, this is similar drugs. But the craziest is I also know somebody, Lucas Hinderlider came on four weeks ago. He had cocaine. cane. It's crazy it's cutting cope because I'm like there's such opposite drugs that I'm like,

what is the... Sure. But some people say it gets weighed out on the same scale. Totally residual. Yeah, yeah, because it's a small amount. Some people think it's totally intentional. Some people think it's like... It's probably all those things. I also, I'm such a conspiracy theory. I wouldn't be surprised if like there's some

I don't know. Because also what did happen, the opiate crisis has been going on for a decade now. But the thing is, you can... You don't even have to do drugs. Like, if you touch fentanyl... I don't think that's... I don't think that's a thing. I think that's, yes, it is. Are you sure? I think those are kind of like, absolutely.

You don't think it's like a wivesdale? Dude, there's been players, there's been players that have been got, that got busted for steroids and in mixed martial arts and baseball that swear to God, they didn't do steroids. But when it tracks back to like the vats, everything was mixed up in, they tested positive for steroids. So it's like, I think of it like that where it's like fentanyl is like people touch it and sniff it. It gets in an open wound. But also if I OD'd on fentanyl, I'd be like, I didn't even touch it. I just like, I found a back.

A lot of people don't, though. A lot of people just smell it. Yeah. Yeah, I get back. They do. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if about it to, uh, I don't know. It's why.

Bro, that shit is crazy, bro. And the craziest pot is there's no, there's no way to like stop it to slow it down or anything. That's what I think. Well, you, I'm so, I think you got to legalize all drugs because it's like if you're getting drugs and your drugs, it's like you get a clean supply. It's like if it's, you know what you've never gotten fentanyl, your cigarettes, your beer, your cough medicine. Don't jinx it because I, I, there you go. I'm sitting here with a bublight right now,

and I love it. Yeah, I'm prescribed Adderall and prescribed colonnipid. Those are dangerous drugs, but there's no fentanyl in them. Yeah. So you guys are trying some fentanyl or? Yeah. Before I die, I understand. No interest.

Dude, it's never interested me. Heroin never interested me. Really? Oh, yeah, I mean neither. I'm such an interest in it. I'd never do it. But, like, in my mind, I'm like, it sounds awesome. Like, if I could do it, put it this way.

If I could do heroin right now, and I knew there would be no long-term consequences, I wouldn't be like, yeah, I have to do that. Really? No, I wouldn't. If God came to right now. Crack's a different thing, where if I could smoke crack and I knew for a fact I wouldn't get addicted to it,

I think I would definitely give it a try. See, oh, that's a tough question. So you have any drug in the world with no consequences, what are you doing? So heroin would feel the breast, but if you're like a party animal, smoking crack would probably be the most fun. Like, if you smoked crack and just danced for like two hours, that seems like it would be a very good time. But then heroin would feel the best.

So you'd feel the best, but you have no consequence. So, like, the whole scenario is God comes to use as you can do any drug you want. You 100% don't get addicted. No health effects, no, nothing. Nothing, yeah, yeah. That's tough. I don't know.

Quailudes. Quailudes. Yeah. They don't even make those anymore. They do, so it's in South Africa. It's very hard to get. So, Elon, we come through. He really does need to come through with that.

It is crazy, though, that it's apparently, like, So South Africa makes quailudes, but there's some weird thing where like there was some weird, it used to be people would trade seafood for quailudes, like this weird oyster, and then that went like died out, like the, or something like that. The seafood or the quailudes.

The quail-leud, and also there was a, the manufacturer for quailudes in America or something like that, they like just got rid of the recipe. It's the most bizarre thing that it's like you can't find, but methyl quillone, which is what is the active chemical in it, they still do it in South Africa. And they call it, I forgot what they call it, but they crush it up,

and they put it in a pipe and smoke it. And then people just pass out for like a minute, and they come back. But they also think during apartheid that they used it, it's a conspiracy theory, but they think they used it to spray down, like, mobs of people, like, in the tear gas to, like, gas people. Oh.

But it's crazy because, like, it's so weird that something... Wouldn't be a shock, or when you read some of that shit about that apartheid in South Africa, that wouldn't be a shock at all if they did that. But it's also, like, it's also weird to me because it still doesn't make sense to me how it just completely is gone. But I have also heard old heads.

Old people say like, they're like, oh, like old, like deadhead people. They're like, oh, I've done Xanax and Kualudes and Xanax is better. Really? Yeah. So it's a weird thing. We're like, yeah. Like the old deadheads are like, oh, yeah, like, I've done both. And this is a shittier version.

That's another one. Xanax. I've never wanted to do that at all. It's awesome. Never wanted to do it. What's the high like? You don't care about anything, which is awesome. But if your life's a mess and you're a loser, then it's bad.

Because it's like, you don't care that you don't have a job. But if you're, like, crushing it, then it's like, yeah. You don't care about anything. And it's weird because I use it to sleep sometimes. And I have had it, though, where, like... Will it put you to sleep, like, at the end of the night? Pretty well. Like, occasionally, I've had anxiety so bad that you don't, which is funny because, like, I've had...

Even when you're on Xanax? Yeah, I've had it where I take Xanax and I've had, like, five beers. And my face is asleep. But my brain is like, I guess I'm not falling asleep. Like, I can feel my face, like, numb and shit. And, yeah. But it's fun. It makes you knock. I mean, it's, I'm not going to knock it. Like, it's a great time. But it's like it can easily ruin your life because it's like, oh, I can not care about anything.

And then if you do it all the time, then you just don't. Like, there's a lot of alcoholics. They'll start doing that. Oh, I, dude, I was with a lot of people when I was working in bars that were doing that. And I was like, I used to see people where you could tell, I mean, obviously, like, it was just as much booze as it was Xanax where you would see them. And you're like, that's a crazy drug right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I had a friend that got prescribed a ton of Xanax in high school, and my dad's like, man, he really stopped smoking that pot.

I'm like, it's not the pot. Yeah, but the pot is the last thing. But when the weeds mixed with Xanax, though, that's a different animal, bro. Oh, for sure, but you're still blaming the Xanax. It's like if I was doing heroin and you're like, alcohol to heroin. The thing is, like, dude, I know people like, dude, I know people, you have one Xanax and you have one glass of wine, bro. That's a different drug all in all.

Depending on how much. Because, like, I've never taken a full stick. I've only taken like three-fourths of one. But if you take a whole stick, then yeah. What the fuck does Xanax look like? So I assume it was pills. A long rectangle. Yeah, yeah.

So a rectangle is like filled with like a bunch of square holes. Can I grab a beer out of a fridge? Yeah, yeah, for sure. So like a. Anyone else? I'm all right. I'll take one. Yeah, yeah.

You know what? Fuck it. I'll take one. Yeah. There we go. There is. I'll do it. All right.

Or waiting on him to do that. Quick question. How much input did you have in decorating this apartment? Zero. That's what I'm going. That's what everybody says, yeah. Yeah, I'm like Xanax is awesome. Me, my friend's the book.

You see this like nice. Yeah, it's also an accent piece I picked out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From a boutique. Yeah, it's a nice summertime beer. Yeah, blue moon, weat. Beautiful. Cheers.

Blue moon, light sky. Thanks for having me, brother. Chris Friday, great to see you. I always say it. I'm like, Michael Good has such a night. I finally met his girlfriend tonight. I was like, every time I went in that bathroom was like, this green couch is just like,

and it's just like, having diary. I know. I know. Yeah. Screaming about Zanxx. Sweeting. Dude, the best is like,

I was so funny because I took, she, like, she, I think she knew people were coming over. So, the toilet was, like, blue. And I took a shit, and I didn't realize it. And then I looked, and I couldn't find my poop in the toilet.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, because it was like, yeah, yeah, because it's got that blue, but it was nice. He goes to me, right when he, he lets me in, like, he lets me and he's like, hey, what's up, Mike?

How you doing? He's like, oh, good. He's like, dude, I'm telling you. He's like, I just want to go to, like an Outback Steakhouse tonight and just start crushing beers. Could you be any more of a Florida scumbag without telling me you from Florida? Dude, everything I enjoy is like garbage shit. I love Outback, bro.

I love. I hate high society shit. Like it's like every movie everybody's like, this is such a well done film. I'm like, ugh. Like I like fucking Scarface. Hell yeah. I like music by riffraff. Yeah.

I like Taco Bell. Oh, you like Riff Raff? I love riprack. Iceberg Simpson, dude? And a penguin tucks. Yeah. Dude, my favorite's the fucking interview with them where the first part of the interview, they're like, what's your biggest dream? He's like, my biggest dream

is that I was in a pool full of SpaghettiOs, and there was a giant meatball that got lodged in my esophagus. And then... Is he from Florida? No, he's from Texas. Okay. Oh, yeah, all right.

But then he, uh, he, later on the interview, he's like, yeah, I got kicked out of high school because I didn't wear any shoes. but then they brought me back when they had to do a fashion show because I knew how to do the creases on the pants. It's just like, what does he tie? I love it. Dude, I love, I don't know, it's like him and like, see, he's like to the next level.

I was saying, like, white people that, like, act black, it annoys me on a micro level, but somebody that's that far in. The commitment, yeah. I'm like, he's just like. Because he's not, he doesn't, that guy doesn't act like a white person or a black. Like, that guy is something out, bro.

The corners are the only thing that's, like, not white about him. Yeah. That guy's something. Yeah, but didn't, even his teeth, they're like shop, right? He has a shark tooth grill. It's just shark teeth. But on his actual teeth, like, how was his, how? Maybe, I don't know.

He also, he puts in, like, the cool, like, the eyes that are, like, just like. He's more Houston than a race. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. He's like, that's what happens when cough syrup has a baby. Yeah. It is, dude.

They named it riffle. Yeah, exactly. Well, my favorite is, because he's from Texas, and so is Paul Wall. They did a song. Oh, yeah. This is all adding up. Sort of like the... How to beat a man.

How to be the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never heard that. I never heard that. It's amazing. I like Paul. Pimsy's one of... Fitching Slim Thug too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, SlimC. is like one of my favorite rappers ever, dude. And I remember how, like, when he... I remember how cool drinking cough syrup looked as a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he... By the way, that's still something I'm going to try at some point.

I've never done it. Yeah, yeah. I've never done it. But that was something that looked so cool with, like, they would do, like, they would do, like, the chopped and screwed fucking albums and the DJ screwed, like all that. He had Dan Carney were joking about because he, he, like, he made some tweets.

Like, I want to be like a lean guy. And, like, how funny would be to go on stage with, like, a double cup? Right. It's like, two star photo cups. People are like, is he fucking drinking sister at a comedy show? That would be awesome. Love it. Yeah.

But I remember when Pimsy died of that shit, I was like, oh, fuck, I didn't know that shit could kill you. Yeah. I didn't know. I was like 13 or 14. I was like, holy shit, you could die from that? Well, the crazy thing. is like every form of cough medicine can get you high. So there's DXM, which is over the counter.

That gets you high. It's a totally different thing than codeine, which an opiate gets you high. And then there's a promethazine. So like every thing that stops your cough is like, yeah, because to be fair way, what it does is it has to relax your muscles. So anything that does that is going to get you high in some way or another. Yeah, they just fall asleep and you don't wake up, right?

Yeah, yeah, I guess you just do too much. Or if you mix it with alcohol. That sucks, dude. I love Pimsy, dude. That guy was great. Yeah, I don't know, but I'll take your word for it. You know big pimping. Yeah. Big Pimpin, Spin, Spin, didn't you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the last verse. Okay, yeah. In my hood, we call it buck. Who's from Missouri? There's some rappers from Missouri, right? Nelly, baby. Nelly, Tech Nine, J-Quann, Murphy Lee, Ebony Eyes.

Nelly pretty, Nelly. I think Florida, we're going to start to get one. I'm telling you, because I have some friends that are really in the... You got the Island Boys or something? Yeah, we got more than that. Okay, we got more than that. You got Kodak Black. We got Kodak.

You got Trick Daddy. You got Rick Ross, you got Ace Hood. Yeah, yeah. T-Pain. T-Pain. Slow rider. I don't mind him. You know what?

Mops need to listen to hip-hop, too. Yeah, yeah. He's fun. I agree. He's a good time. That song Whistle just reminds me the summer. Like, I don't know. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just about getting your dick suck, but such, like, a fun, like, Da-B-B-B-B-B-B-Pit-bull. But, like, some of the younger guys, yeah, yeah. But some of, like, the younger guys, like, my buddy will show me just, just, like, some random 12-year-old in, like, Miami. and I'm like, this guy's awesome. Yeah, yeah. They're cool.

They're young kids. Granted, it seems like a new one's dying every single day. It's like right when I hate... I feel like the first time I hear about them is when they get murdered. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, you were a person? Yeah, yeah. But then I hear it.

And you'll see him. You're like, oh, it makes sense you die. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Oh, fuck it, dude, stitches. That guy was awesome. I don't know him. He was from Miami. I don't know him.

I put that brick in your face. What you got? This guy had like an AR-15 tattooed on his face. Nice. I think he got kicked out of high school. Oh, he's a white guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy.

That's right. Like, he lives, like, a scary version of riff, rap. But he's, like, so intense. That music, he was like, I love selling blow. It's just him, like, breaking cocaine. I remember that song, it's like, I just popped to Molly. Now I want to fuck Molly Cyrus. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Covered in tattoos. But he was, like, early on because he was, like, one of the first guys you're like, this guy is crazy. And now it's, like, not even crazy to have a tattoo on your face. Yeah, no. It's, like, casual. You see people working at CVS with face tattoos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially in New York, you'll see, like, a really, like, like, classy-looking guy, and then he'll have, like, a face tattoo, and you're like, oh, he's probably, like, a designer for something. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be, like, terrifying if you saw somebody a face tattoo. I know. Now, because of, I know enough people?

It's unintimitating guy. Yeah, and I'll occasionally... Totally. You know that one guy hangs outside the pair? He pulled a knife on me one time. Wait, who want the cloudy eye? Is he a drug dealer? No, no, no, no, he's one of the drug dealers outside there.

Oh. He, he, I, I, I, I, got in, like, an argument with him, and he pulled knife on me. And I'm almost so used to face tattoos now that I forget that all so crazy people have face tattoos. Because I'm, like, so unintimitated by it because it's such a normal thing now. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, exactly. But I was talking to Leo about it. It's so funny because Leo C was like, yeah, no, you should still be scared of us.

Some, but I, you can, yeah, but there's certain things you look for in face tattoos where it's like when that tattoo is calculated, depending on where it is exactly. Yeah, like it's like that someone, you look. And you should just, me personally, I just avoid conversation with. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Yeah, it depends what it is. If it's like, I don't know, if it's like, what's like a one that's not intense?

Like, you see these at, like, I mean, Gucci-Mane's not a good example. But he has, like, an ice cream cone. But, like, you- Wait, how's that not a good example? He's, he's killed people. No, I know, but I'm trying to think of, like, non-harmful reasons of face-tat. Non-harmful face tattoos. Like, because I think now you see, like, a lot of people with, like, neck tattoos that just go up all over the place and shit like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that one comic who has it. I think his name is Shane Smith. But he's like, it seems like a really nice guy. Yeah. He's just like, he's very into it. Bro, you see girls. You see girls with, I see like hot girls in Soho with face tattoos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hot girls. Like, not like, like hot girls with face tattoos. Are they hot? Yeah. But like, like, if they didn't have it, it'd still be hot. Oh, yeah. But they can make it work.

What part of Missouri you're from, by the way? St. Louis. Okay. How's that? Oh, hell yeah. You can find me. May and St. Louis. Fuck yeah.

Dirty, poor, dangerous. It's not a great part of town. White people, black people? Oddly enough, it's 50-50 black white. Yeah. So you fit in just fine. Yeah, I was like, this is my town.

You got the best of both worlds. St. Louis, Detroit, and Flint, in Oakland oftentimes will like trade off number one most dangerous city in the country. Oh, shit. It's so many because I don't even think of that. I think of Meet Me and St. Louis. Right.

It is a complete. There's so many cities in America that you just, it's like a dumb 19, like, 50s play. Right. Like about the World Fair. It's like not scary at all. Oklahoma. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just think of that.

But it is funny because there's so many cities in America that there's ones that I realize I know nothing about. St. Louis is one of them. The only thing, I know Nathan Orrin's from there. I know you're from there. That's literally all I know about it. And I've seen Mimi and St. Louis. That's the only thing. Which I think is that Judy Garland or some shit?

Yeah, yeah. It's something like old, like those old movies are like, oh, yeah. Come on, twide. Come on, right. Yeah, yeah. So are you from like a hood-ass neighborhood? Yeah, from Dutchtown. Yeah.

We're near the brewery. So if I run into like a San Luis person, yes. Yeah. It's so funny because in my mind. So is Bud Light made in the ghetto? Technically speaking, yeah, the brewery is huge. And that's in the hood? Yeah.

It's almost sounded. It's on a nicer part. It's near Sula where like Mardi Gras happens. So it's a little bit more affluent, but like you cross one street and you're in fucking a while. Cherokee and Cherokee don't fuck around. The one thing it was funny though, because you're, you first said brewery,

and I thought, when you said, it sounded like gentrified at first, because, ah, right. A but light brewery is different than like a local,

I pictured like the hipsters we were talking about earlier when you said brewery. I was like, oh, yeah, but actual beer factory is different. Yeah,

and that fucker, like on a windy day and since on the south side, you could smell the brewery from miles away. Oh, that's awesome. When I was a kid, I hated it,

but now as an adult, I love that smell. Yeah, it's stronger than shit. But yeah, South Side is, it can be rough. I'm sorry, it is rough. Where is Jason Tatum from? He plays on the Celtics.

I don't know where he's from, but he went to school out in the Burbs. He went to Shama and out where all the other basketball players went. But if I tell someone, like, I ran into a St. Louis person the other day, but they're from, like, the suburbs. So I just explained to them, I live near the bad Ted Drews. Yeah, yes. Which is, so they go, oh, I don't, I don't fuck what were you from. Yeah, yeah. Like, even like the All-Boy High School I went to, which was Catholic, like, even within that subset of Catholic,

schools, it's the dirty fucking blue, like our, our cheering motto and, like, basketball games was, we don't read, we don't write, all we do is drink and fight. Let's fucking God. Ryan's gonna move. He's new chancellor. Absolutely, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, Florida was weird, because I grew up, like, I grew up in a full bubble.

Like, my elementary school and middle school, I went to private school, and then high school I went to public school. So, and then public school was like, it was like a mix. I don't know. It was like, there are. shitty parts of Orlando that are like sketchier but I don't know it's like I don't know

yeah it wasn't like I feel like I never really had to deal with terrifying like as a kid we would go to like drug dealer's house just because like we did a ton of drugs as teenagers sure so we did have like friends that lived in sketchy neighborhoods but I it wasn't to the point of like I don't I feel like it wasn't like that level of crime like I've seen more crime in New York City than I ever saw

in like Orlando sure oh so because it's in the open hand out you know what I mean like that's the thing it's like you can you can like get a way with it and stuff, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I feel like there is, like the sketchy's part was like Paramore,

which is like passed downtown. That's like somewhat dangerous, but I feel like people also over exaggerate it. I don't know. I think it's like, it is weird though, because there's always like crime, but it's like all my friends had guns,

but that's just because everybody has guns. It wasn't like they were like, I'm gonna shoot somebody. They're not used it. There's a difference. They would pull them. Like my buddy like got a knife pulled them out of bar and he's like, oh, I'll just go pull.

He pulled like a fucking like a musket. It's like a musket. I'm not sure if it was a musket or like a like a revolution. It was some like old ass gun. Hell yeah, dude. Let's fucking go. The bayonet. I'm gonna smoke you like crisp as addicts got.

But to be fair, it's all possible. I just didn't see the other side of it. You know what I mean? Because it's like I did have friends that like lived in like dangerous neighborhoods. But like it's like I don't know. You know? I don't know. But it's definitely.

Well, it's good to have the con. Like it's good to have an idea of good neighborhoods and bad neighborhoods. I think it's very good to see. I feel very blessed that I had parents where I grew up in the city and the suburbs. That's something I'm very grateful for because I saw how people behave in vice versa. You know what I mean? I think that's very important. It's a piece of reality.

I couldn't tell you what it's like to grow up in Florida the same way. I couldn't tell you what it's like to grow up in St. Louis. Same way you guys couldn't tell me what it's like to grow up in Boston or New England. So I think it's important to see that because you like see behavior. Yeah. First hand. somebody somebody brought up they're like oh yeah there was the rich kids in the poor kids like my

school wasn't like that all everybody just kind of hung out like there wasn't like a divide in that yeah because I feel like sports and doing drugs and drinking brought everybody together totally it was like like private school that though that life was completely off but if you go to public school it's like everybody's hanging out everybody because people also get like

people that might live in a sketchy part town or taking the bus into yeah so it's not like there was like that divide really because that's weird to me that anybody be like oh the poor people here it's like everybody's like no let's do fucking Yeah. Let's do drugs. Yeah, but I think it definitely, I think it definitely happens, though, because I went to schools where people separated themselves from other groups, like, especially in Boston where it was like, people always think of Boston being a racist city.

And it's like, okay, I can't speak. I'm not black. So it's like, I can't speak to that. But it's like, I do know when certain groups of people saw other certain groups of people, you just had to fight. Like, it's just how it was. You know what I mean? Same with other, like, white kids we would run into from other neighborhoods. It was like, you just had to fight for whatever reason.

Yeah, we're such pussies in Florida. Like, we had bar fights all the time and stuff like that, but like not to the... I doubt it's the level of, like, we never just see people and be like, we have to fight them. Yeah. You're like Peter Griffin and that chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start swinging. That's how a lot, that's how a good part of my childhood was.

We would run into, we would skip school and would go down. You wonder how lame we were. We were Facebook fighters. We'd be like, this guy comment, you call me gay on Facebook. So we're going to go fight each other. I'm parking a lot. Bro, I got my ass kicked from running my mouth on Facebook. Multiple times, dude.

I went off on something good time of Facebook. We just never ended up fighting. But like, I, that shit's so funny. Like, I used to be so ruthless on Facebook. I'd say fucking what. Like, my old Facebook's, I showed you some of the old statuses. I'd say some wild shit too. Yeah, yeah.

I used to, there was this kid. They called him Squidwood because his dick was uncircumcised. Right? Yeah, his dick was uncircumcised So they're calling him Squidwood And I didn't get the joke like a retod, right? I was like, why is everyone calling this kid Squidward? And then I found out and I thought it was the funniest thing in the world

Because I was like, that's such a good joke And this kid fucking nailed me in the face with a fucking right hand And I remember I felt like a punk And I was like, ah, yeah, well, my dick circumcised Like I win this fight Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I was like 16 or something So it meant something But yeah, Facebook was wild back in the day.

Dude, I would just be a picture of a guy with his mom. I'd be like, you fucking fag. And it's just like so over the top. Like, like, I would comment on everything. I thought what people that will fight with my friends. I didn't just, I would just, I would just anybody, anybody post something I thought was lame. I'd be like, I'll fucking kick your ass. Like, I was wild.

Dude, and I still, like, I don't think I've taken down, like, anything. Like, I could easily, I'm going to get canceled from my Facebook when I was, like, nine years old. Just, just, like, posted. Wild shit, yeah. I knew kids that were, like, threatened to kill people on Facebook, and then they did it. And that's when I did it. And that's when I was like, I got to the point where I was like, yeah, the internet's like not to play around. Right.

Once I got to like 17 or 18 years old, I knew kids like in the city that would do in wild shit. And I was like, well, that's the funny. My mom said, my mom always said to me, she goes, never post anything on Facebook. You would not say to your grandma. And now I'm just recording a podcast and me saying the worst shit. I put it out every single week. Like it's so funny how that, like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I just never. But I've also been fired twice for this.

So it makes sense. I get where she's coming from. Twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, twice. Fuck them. Let's call on a bomb threat. We had one of those at my school.

This kid, there's some random guy messaged him on Facebook and was like, I'm gonna go to your school and kill everybody. He goes, lull, okay. And then like,

and then we had to, we had one of those situations everybody had to leave. Locked out. Yeah, yeah. My favorite fight, there was a nerd fight. The two nerdiest kids

got in a fight and it was the best fight I've ever seen. Yes. You know what I mean? I was like, you guys are supposed to be friends, but like they're just,

like, beating the shit out of each other. And this dude, this dude, I think he took his pencil case, because you know, like, a nerdy kids have, like, a thousand different pencils. The accessories, dude. Yeah, and then he starts whacking the dude with that. It was TI 83. Yeah, yeah, he's got the best calculator. That's the calculator, right?

Just clocks him with, like, yeah. Texas instruments. And then he starts... That's right, dude, hell yeah. The dude, land on the ground, and then the other dude starts jumping up and down his face. No shit. Teabagging him? It probably hurts.

I would say tee baggy, but, like, hitting him with his tailbone, basically, in the head. It looks so painful. I was like, everybody that's not a nerd would never do that because we're like, that doesn't look cool in a fight, but you guys don't care. So you're kind of like taking effective moves. Absolutely. He's like, I'm going to beat you with my colored pencils, and then I'm going to jump on your head with my ass. I'm like toxic.

That's awesome. I remember I had this fucking loser in my high school. He was a scumbag. The Pats lost a tough game. It was like real early in the season. It was like September October. And this kid goes, on Facebook, he goes if, Anyone says anything negative about the Patriots again.

You guys are, I'm trash, but you guys are also trashed. With your team. Everyone is. Everyone is. I'm telling you, there's no difference with people.

This is why I tell people the more you mean people. Do you think Tom Brady could fuck people's wives in Bosnia? If you just walked around was like, can I fuck your wife? Do you think it's that level of? Probably, yeah. I mean, there's cucks everywhere.

No, I know. I know. But it seems like that is just like, it seems like that the Patriots are held above everything. Well, yeah, because it was, but they wouldn't just accept it. They'd be like, please.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yes. But this kid wrote as his Facebook status, he goes, if anyone says anything bad about Tom Brady, again, I'm going to bring a gun to school. And kill everybody, right? He wrote this as his Facebook status, like Sunday at, like, 5 o'clock after, like, a tough loss. Right, after, like, a tough loss.

After a game on CBS. Yeah, exactly. It was like, I want to say it was against, like, Miami of Buffalo, right? Bro, and I remember when he wrote that, I told this kid, I was like, dude, you need to take that. down. Like that is way too. Now, I thought you were going to say I was with a comma to do it pussy.

Because, yeah, but kids were, kids were writing shit. Oh, for sure. Everyone's like, suck my dick. If somebody in high school said they were going to shoot up my high, I would totally be like, not if I fucking kick your ass for, like, I was like, like, the shit talk in high school. Bro, the funniest part, a whole day went by. A whole Monday went by, nothing happened.

So I got, nothing happened. Tuesday morning, I had first period math class with this kid. It's like fucking 8 o'clock in the morning. A fucking school security. guy comes in and a fucking police officer comes in. They grab the, can they go, you out right now. It got like two weeks out of school suspension. And I was, I knew right away.

I was like, yeah, that's because he threatened to murder it. And I remember, like, the kid gets suspended. I was like, why weren't you here on Monday? Like, it's Tuesday now. A whole day went by. This kid could have slaughtered us all because of the fucking Pats game on Sunday. It was awesome. That is such a hilarious reason to murder everybody at school.

So you think he was just kidding completely? I mean, the kid was fucking. but like I think at the time when he wrote it he was like probably like I think he was like trying to be funny Yeah I don't think he like See that's something I would get in trouble for I told in elementary school this girl broke me up with my girlfriend she like talked shit about me

And then I literally said to somebody I was like I should shove a gun up her ass and shoot it And I got like suspended I just didn't understand I was in like I think second grade Bullshit and I was somebody because like God you were eight years old Yeah yeah yeah holy shit What year was that? What year was that? I don't know but it was funny because

In my mind, I was like... How old were you? What year were you eight years old? I have no idea. I'm 25 now. So minus 17? Yeah, yeah. 2020.

2005? I feel like that's beyond the... That's before the cup. You shouldn't be suspended second grade is, though. Yeah, but also, like, that's fair because people still were shooting up school. Like, Carlton was before that, like, yeah. So it was like... But it was so funny because I didn't understand what the problem was.

I was like... You're a girlfriend in second grade? Oh, dude, I was... I did two girls the same time one time. I was like, I told him, I was like, I'm going to Zach Morris over here. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to decide at the end of the week. I'm going to date both of you guys.

And I'll figure it, I was such a fucking pimp. See, I had an older brother, and he just told me all the good shit that I could, like, he told me how to like be cool. And I was like, oh, okay, I just took all this fucking things. And it was awesome. Were you cool in school, Michael Good? How's cool as fuck? Were you back?

Were you actually? My life has been downhill since then. High school, I totally peaked in high school. Yeah. Dude, it's sad. Like, I'll be looking out the window. I'm like, God, those were the days. And I'm like fucking 25 now.

Chris Ryder, were you cool in school? Yeah. You were? Yeah. But I was a, uh, not, not that cool. Yeah. They had bitches, bitch is,

plural. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Legit. But also, in my high school, like, I was so weird at school and stuff like that. Like, my thing, I would hook up in high school more with girls from other schools. Like, I would, like, do that more.

Yeah, yeah. But I was still popular in my school. I'll be like, it's like, ah, Michael, because I'll be doing shit like, oh, Michael shot a bottle rocket out of his ass. And, like, the girls were like, We don't want to, he's out of control. But then, like, a girl from a different school wouldn't know how ridiculous I am.

So, like, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but the funny thing about the second grade thing is I thought they were mad. I said ass. So I was like, no, I actually said but. I thought that was going to fix the whole saying I want to shove a gun up. I use PG language. But that's exactly why you shouldn't have got suspended in the first place. Yeah, because you don't understand.

That clearly shows that you had no idea what the fuck you were saying. Yeah, yeah, not at all. Yeah. These retards here, like, that's what I, and I feel like that's carried over. where it's like kids get in trouble and like all this shit where it's like it's like impossible to know what you're saying and are doing at that age. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

It is kind of hilarious because it's like, okay. Kids do dumb shit? It's like that's like, but to be fair also, how do you tell, how do you teach kids that without punishing? You don't. You tell them what that you,

you properly, the same way I think you learned that it was wrong where you can't say you shoot people. Like, I think you just learn it over time. Yeah, yeah, I guess.

I think they just want you to learn faster. It's like when people say racist shit when they're a kid. It's like when, I shouldn't say when people say, it's when kids say racist shit. It's like, it's kind of impossible. People are dividing yourself. You're like, not that I.

But like, I think kids say a lot of dumb shit. I say this all the time. It's like any kid who had an Xbox 360 or a PlayStation and played online said the N-word a thousand. It's just a fat. It's a fucking fat. That'd be hilarious if they recorded all of those

and then Xbox sort of blackmailing people. You said the N-word in fifth grade. We got you. But you didn't know. You don't know what you're saying at that way. Yeah, yeah. Because you're repeating every. Because you have no knowledge of it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is a funny thing. Because it's also like, I feel like I don't have a point. I always feel like I have to follow sentences. Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. It's like a second grade as a second grade, first of all, if you were in the second grade and you shot up a school, you'll like the new benchmark, right? No one's, there hasn't been a second grade school shooting.

There's been a lot of kids that have gone in and shot up the second grade. But there hasn't been a lot of second graders that have shot up the school. There's too much kick on the gun. be funny. I'll be flying back. Yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Yeah.

But I do understand them wanting to teach kids fast because they're like, we don't want this kid. Yeah, but I don't think teaching someone is. Like this retod, I was telling you, like this kid was old enough that he shouldn't have been threatening people over a fucking kid. Yeah, he's like 17.

Yeah, he was definitely old enough and stuff like that. But it's like, I don't think he learned anything because of it. I think he just learned consequences. I don't think he learned like the actual. And what he did was wrong or frowned. And why it was wrong.

I don't think he realized that. I just think all he realized. And I'm sure I don't talk to this kid anymore, but like this kid's retarded. I'm sure he's probably not doing anything. Yeah. Like, I'm sure he didn't learn anything from it.

Yeah, for sure. And it's also like, we had a kid one time that like brought a bullet to school and they kicked him out for that. But he's like, just trying to show off. He's like, my dad has a gun.

This is bullet cool. But like it was like, they were like, no, you're going to shit. It is like, I don't know if you should have been expelled for that. They could have like maybe.

They could have maybe explain to him like, hey man, people shoot, because he probably had no idea that people shoot up high schools. Yeah. And he's like, he probably was like, oh. They feel like they have to, like, set a precedent, though. You know what I mean? I remember I had, remember those little white things people used to throw on the ground and they popped? Remember like the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they used to come in like a bag of like, like, snappers. Yeah, snapers or popas, whatever the fuck you call them. We had a kid bringing those to school one time. I was in like six or seventh grade. Those were, you would buy them at the corner store. Yeah, yeah. And its teacher was overreacted. Like, you know there's gunpowder in them?

And she's going crazy. I was like, and I remember. I remember I said it and this kid brought it to school. I was like, I go, yeah, but that doesn't mean you can shoot bullets out of these things. And she threw me out of class. I got kicked out of class or whatever. And I was like, well, it's true. It's like the bomb airport thing.

We're like, you can't say these certain words. We're taught it. Yeah, yeah. But also, yeah, I don't know where you draw the line with that, too, though, because, like, I don't know. But it needs to be a line. Yeah, but it's like, I understand why it's like, I can go through the airport without saying bomb. Like, that's not that hard for me to do. You know what I mean?

So, so, like, for them to have that. I'm getting on a flight in like 48 hours. You're like, I gotta fuck it. I gotta get them all out. You're in your apartment like, blah, blah, blah,

yeah, it's pretty hard, like it's pretty hard. Like, it's pretty hard for me not to name my iPhone, Osama bin Laden's iPhone, and then start eardroping.

It's not easy. Start air dropping people pictures. Yeah, just like a selfie in me. You want to accept this picture from Osama bin Laden's iPhone, dude? That is very funny.

Fuck am I supposed to do it? He's also just kind of a hilarious. Like, he's a horrible person, but like... Funniest person of all. In our lifetime, I think for me personally, in our lifetime, he was the funniest character ever. Yeah, because the full name, because like... And the worst person, I'll say it, and the worst person. Joe Rogan had the funniest bit about him.

He's like, like, he's literally like a superhero villain. Because, like, he was trained by the good guys. He, like, left for the bad guys. And then he sent his secret videos. Like, you take videos in a cave. Like, what the fuck? Didn't he also have, like, cars in, like, like, the movie cars. He was on, like, his laptop, which is the funny...

Was it really? Dude, his list of movies they found in his, like, Bunker was hilarious. Yeah, a bunch of porn. A ton of porn. Do you mind looking that up real quick? Stuff they found in Osama. He was an Arsenal fan?

Big time Austin. They were like a jersey on. That's so fucking funny. Big time Arsenal fan, dude. No shit. Big time. Arsenal has a massive Middle Eastern following. Like massive Middle East.

I like them being like, yeah, we're not going to. We're not going to address that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's a ton of Middle East and is in London. In North London, we're not. right there that that carries over that is always a hard question because i'm like if if if racist people like my podcast it's like obviously i can say racism's fucked up but does that am i a worst person for having them listen because i'm like if i think i have no control you have

no control yeah yeah because it's like it's like obviously like i don't support but it's a weird question because everybody gets so obsessed it's like it's like racist people also like superman maybe and is that is that yeah they're watching this is us all the same yeah yeah yeah it's like i don't know if like and also like if you think you have a positive influence and like why would you not that this podcast is a positive influence but it's like I don't think having people that like you from a bad group

makes you necessarily a bad guy right I put up a clip of some crowd work and there was a comment that was like hey that was awesome when you come into Russia and I was like fucking yeah but are you going to be like I don't condone the war in Russia check out on you cry bitch I ignored it yeah I can't help who likes what I say yeah bin Laden's diary

they're so mean to me over there the Steel Team also covered in a diary oh that's hilarious he kept a diary wait what other movies did he have cars was he a toy story fan so his son's wedding video that's video games

that'd be so funny if he was playing like those call of duties where they're shooting out okay and he's like he's like yeah they're way bad just playing for the point of view of somebody's killing him because some of those games it was such a thing like I remember like I went to like shooting ranges and you get like an Osama bin Laden

like target like it was so in culture to like hate Osama bin Laden what video games do you have um Final Fantasy Super Mario Bros really

Yoshi's hot that's the funniest thing picturing him playing in a cave oh my God videos bin Laden practicing for public speeches that's so yeah

dude him just like going through each thing Disney films Cars, chicken little, ice age. Dude, he had Mario, he had videos of him practicing public speaking. Like him, like, trying to get better at it. Would I just say chicken little, cars, ice age?

Yeah, I don't remember, though. He had, like, he legitimately had, like, 47 children, though, too. So, like, that's something you need to keep in mind. Yeah, yeah. So maybe these were his kids things, yeah. pornography That's why I always say When people like

Yeah Ben Laden went crazy Do you think he wasn't a tentative father Or maybe he just like Great father Dude five wives I say it all the time Dude he had five wives 47 children and not one divorce

You know what I mean Now granted you get divorced over in Saudi Arabia Pakistan Afghanistan Afghanistan whatever You know you get killed And your uterus gets ripped out of your mouth And shoved down your throat But like still like

I think he was a family man I do I do I think Osama bin Laden was absolutely a family man. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean they're not mutually exclusive. No! Just because you're a terrorist doesn't mean you're not a good father.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't want your kids to have good dining table etiquette. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, he had to spend time with him. They were hiding out in a cave together. I assume he's getting one-on-one time with all of them. They had a compound. They had a giant fortress.

It was like a mansion. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he wasn't working, really. He was just sending his videos in the morning, probably like, death to America. And then he'd be like, all right, now it's time for lunch. His video is a classic. Bin Laden videos are a classic. The pornography, what kind of pornography, though?

That's the one thing they didn't release. I want to know exactly what he had on there. Oh, for sure. It's bullshit. They don't put that out there. It's fun. Him watching lesbian porn is funny to me. I don't know why that's true.

Yeah, because you know he would cut a lesbian's head off. Yeah, yeah, but in the video, he's like, yeah, it's a kink to him because it's like... That's what I'm saying. That's why they must have been a bunch of shit. He had documentaries about himself. that's so funny. His library included books on conspiracy theories. I mean, that makes sense.

I mean, he might, yeah, of course he has documentaries about himself, you know? He must have been pumped, like, on, like, fucking September 12th. He must have just been like, oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, in your eyes, it is a wild accomplishment. Totally. Yeah, yeah. Like, in the worst accomplishment, but you know what I mean?

It's like... Yeah, but to him, it was the greatest thing ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to end there. That because I'm bothered by this, but, but we are over. hour. All right. Al-Aqabar.

Yes. Frazeala, whatever else, Bin Laden said. And then what do you want to? What are you on promote? Ryan O'Toole podcast. I'll have it on video.

Next up, not, well, in two episodes. When's this coming out? Like a week and a half? All right. Yeah, but Ryan O'Toole fucking follow YouTube.

It's Ryan O'Toole, ITS. I'll be in Scotland for the next fucking month of some shit. Yeah, I don't know. Amazon on Fridays, but that's not until September.

Follow my Instagram. at it's Ryan O'Toole. I have shit on there every single fucking day. All right. Yeah, follow Ryan O'Toole on Instagram. Christopher of the comic on Instagram and TikTok. I need these followers. I want to get in more close. Apparently that's the fucking way in. Yeah, yeah. All right, sweet.