Morning Good - Always Be Prepared - Episode 191

Episode Date: October 15, 2023

Jake Timothy and Adam Christopher return to the show for today's episode. They talk about Michael's recent homelessness, the Skull and Bones society, and Irish poetry.Thanks to Jake and Adam for coming back on the show, and special thanks to Adam for the studio space and camera work. Check both of these guys out on previous episodes and at their links below. Adam is on Instagram as @adamchristopherrr, where the new season of Top 5 will be airing, and he sells Deception Stones exclusively at DeceptionStones.com. Jake is on Instagram as well @jake_timothy.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.This podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Oh, I love that.

Yeah, by way, shout out to Tim's Bray. Welcome to morning. All right. We're here. We're with Jake Timothy and Adam Christopher. Yo. And I'm nomadding right now. Yeah, yeah.

That's so wild. Air mattress. I was really freaked out. I thought it was going to be something that I was going to hate. And I like love it. Like it's like, I mean, the breakup part sucks. I'm like crying every other day. Yeah.

But like the freedom is nice. I also sound like a divorce guy right now. No, no, but it's also, you're experiencing the dynamic of the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, within that experience of the freedom,

you're also experiencing like the richness of the pain of like, oh shit, like my life is changing in a way I didn't expect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's like, that's part of, it's included in the package of like, freedom that you're getting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess nobody's totally free without having like something bad scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you feel free, you're sure as hell

like say something or do something to make you not free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude, I heard a man on the train once. I don't know, I think he was talking about being divorced, but he's talking to another guy and he said something about he's like, yeah, man, I've been eating pizza every night. He said it, he said it like really excited. I was like, it's, it sucks. Like, if you're a kid, that's like the best thing you could say to anyone. Someone said that to me when I was like 10 years old, it'd be like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah.

That's the best life. Oh, yeah, I was talking to Jason David. That's like, nobody's here to tell me I'm not eating ice cream all day. It's like, yeah. Yeah, he's just alone in like a motel room. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What should I get this time? Well, it's funny when you talk to like divorce people too

because like there is always like the divorced guy who like, there's married people who always like to shit on like somebody who's single and they're like, oh, he hates his life. And then you see. the married people are like screaming at each other all the time. But everybody's just sad. You know, that's just the truth. Yeah.

And that makes me happy. Yeah. To know that everybody's doing that. When I feel bad, I'm like, everyone feels just as bad. Yeah. Yeah. No matter what you try to do, you're just going to feel like the same amount of bad. Yeah.

It's like it's guys differently. Yeah. And then when I meet, I see a guy, even a friend of mine who's like, I'm feeling good recently. I'm like, it's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're bad to feel pretty bad. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's all right. It is, I do feel like, the one thing I hate, though, is I do hate being at somebody else because I just feel like a piece of shit all the time. Like when I came home at like 7 a.m. the other night. So I was out, like, I went to a strip club, which I don't like anymore. Now that I'm single, I don't like them.

Like, I think when I was in a relationship, I was like, ooh, boobs. Like, it was less about the boobs. It's more like, I think you can't go to a strip club with under 10 people. It's not, like, it's fun if you go with a big group of people, everybody's having fun. But when you go with, like, two or three is just sad. Yeah. You show up, like, the way, like, you show up. like the way like you show up to a spot

like AirPods in and a hat. Yeah. What's up? Oh man. If I watched you walk into a strip club like that it'd be like dude I got to. Yeah. It's a darn play. I got to make some of my friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was like, I was like trying to like I always feel weird those places because like half the women are like Eastern European. I was like I don't want to laugh dance for somebody because it feels like they're not there on their own merit. So I was. That's weird. What? Line to draw.

Well, I mean, like you have to. be happy to be here. And they're like, well, what do you want, man? Yeah, it's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just imagining that scenario where you see him like coming out. What's up, man? And you're like, yo, I got to talk to you on this.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on? You do that? You do that. High five. The DJ. Yeah.

Yo. So, man, he's like, he hives you the way a bartender does. He's like, yeah, we're not like friends. Yeah, yeah. I know you. I know you. So what's going on here?

And then meanwhile, there's like strippers passing by. like, hey daddy. You want to fucking ride. They say, hey, daddy to everyone. They're like, what's up, Mike? Yeah. Oh, hey, Tina. It'd be funny, dude.

I was like, yeah. I'm cool here. Can I see your vagina again? Just like a little peek. Just like a little one of these. Yeah, sure. I have the kids. You're like, I haven't seen him still.

Been quite some time. Yeah, figures. Same old, same old. you think there's a guy who says same old, same old as someone who's like who like assumes they mean terrible things. What do you mean? Like that guy in a strip club

if he said the stripper's like, how are you doing? They're like, ah, same old, same old. The strip is like oh, like you haven't seen your kids. You're unemployed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Life is a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, you know, going through the motions. Look, you old a pie, by the way, the court sucks. Like, like here? Yeah, yeah.

I ruined every episode doing that. Yeah, he's going to sleep. in my couch soon. Just get a different mic. Yeah. Can you do it? Can you do it? It'd be funny too. It's funny because I'm such a Vagge. The way I ask things, like, hey, like, I don't want to be like a total asshole, but like, can you guys, like, not get out of frame when I'm, like,

recording the podcast? Have fun, but like, don't move an inch at all, please. Oh, yeah. Get those cornrows back. Dude, I'd be like, yo, fix that mic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you, I mean, you try harder than most people. So it's like, yeah.

Be a little particular. No, no, no, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do put in a lot of effort. Thank you. You guys should each came with four topics, but it's fine. Yeah. I was thinking, it would be funny, too, if I went to the script club, but like, this is my spot.

Like, what's up, Kevin? He's like, you're not allowed in here anymore. Just I'm like, shut up. There's no rules about biting them. It's not discreetly written anywhere. You can't. You know, I'll say for a guy who's on paper, your life is falling apart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'd never know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could be doing amazing or like worst day of your life. And you're always just like, yeah, you know, you're like kind of the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You present the same old. Thank God. Yeah.

That'll serve you well throughout life. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because also. Because no one will check in on me when I'm doing really bad. Yeah. It's like he's doing awesome. Yeah. Well, it'll check.

I'll be on those faces when they're like, this is what depression looks like. It's me smiling at like a bar with friends. Yeah. Yeah. Depression done well. That's what it looks like. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, but you'll never become a guy who's like, oh, I can like live off sympathy. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm so glad you're not doing. You have like a wall up around it, which is good. You don't want to be that guy. Yeah, I don't want to bump people out because I am, it is a emotional roller coaster of fun. Like it is extreme highs followed by extreme lows. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like recalibrating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always feel like I'm on a, on a, having fun on a bicycle, but all the screws are loose. And they can fall apart at any time. Yeah, yeah. That's what just life feels like for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that.

Yeah, it's kind of a scary feeling, but, yeah, but it's oh, so fun. No, it is. And that's what, that's what, like, the other night was. It was fun.

And then there's a stripper from Ireland. And I was like, okay, well, she's here legally. I have no idea. I'm making all these things in my head. I'm like, this is moral to hang out with her

because she's not, you know, trafficked or whatever. You're like, the immigrants are taking her job. Yeah. So it's really like, whoever you can write a happy story about in your head. Yeah, yeah. You just make up the whole backstory.

And you're like, I can live with that. That's a good point. I'm like, she's actually a Russian queen probably. It's like just taking, she wants to. Oh, you're Irish. Yeah, yeah. She's doing what Bruce Wayne did.

She actually has a great life. She wants to like visit another country. Oh, see, she's from a country where they force everyone to be gay. And so she's expressing her straightness on me. Yeah. By having sex with me for money. What's like that was I went back to my friend's house and I get like a text from her. She's like, hey, you want to hang out?

I was like, yeah, sure. And she's like, uh, I was like, by the way, I'm just not trying to pay for sex. I was like, you know, and she's like, oh, I'm not looking for the Ron cheese either. You know, I got a, I got a boyfriend, but I'm like, okay, or she's, I'm talking to something. And I was like, in my mind, I wasn't like, I was like, I'm not going to try to make a move. And I told her, I was like, I'm not going to try to make move, but if you want to make a move, feel free to make a move. You say that to her?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and through, like, text message. And I took. This is funny to say to someone. Yeah, well, because I'm like, she's coming over at 6 a.m. to hang out. I'm like, I don't think that's like, nothing. But what happens is I take a blue chew because I'm like, you know, always be prepared. I think you should just always be on a blue chew

just a case something happens. Just always be prepared on a blue chew. Yeah. Blue shoes the mentos of boners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a razor's edge to walk thread. When people say that, they mean like, be prepared if there's like a fire.

Yeah. Like, sheer rock hard of a fire. I can come on it. Yeah. No, man. But she ended up just doing a bunch of cocaine in front of me and reading me an Irish play that was not good particularly. Did she write it?

No, no, no, no. He's like, this is the writer. I didn't hear the words because I was like, I wonder if this is going to happen or not. It was too hard to listen. Yeah, yeah. I'm so prepared right now. I'm not even listening to this plane.

Yeah, yeah. I'm just like hearing about the potato famine how blood is rushing to my penis. I can't imagine sending that text. I would be so anxious for during the hanging out part. Really? Why? If I send it like, I'm not going to make a move.

But if you would like to, feel free. And then she shows up with like a book and I'm like, okay, like, I don't know how to read anything. So I don't just sitting there like, so hard on drugs. Yeah. Well, it's funny too, because I used to think

the device day up till 7 a.m. drinking that my whole next day will be destroyed. I was productive. You can pull your life together when you're doing. Sometimes I think it's three days and no sleep where you start to fall apart. There's like a perfect amount of hungover where I'm like the most productive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're, there's a little bit of anxiety. You're like, what is my life? And you're like, I got to do things today. Yeah. And also you're kind of just like neutralized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's a part of your brain that's just dead from alcohol poisoning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just kind of going through the whole day at the same speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I kept thinking I was like, I'm going to do stand-up and forget all of my jokes, which has never happened in the history of me doing stand-up. But you would think you're like,

tonight's the night that I forget everything I've ever written, even though I've been doing this for six and a half years and I do this every single night. But you just think you're... I really felt like I was going to like, just randomly fall on me and forget out of walk. And they're like, ah, I shouldn't hung out with that stripper. It was terrible idea.

She did so much coke in front of me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I could, I'm really good, like, I have, I, I, I have really good restraint because I used to do coke and get horrible panic attacks. Like I've seen like so much cocaine and not done it, which it's so funny that I'm like wildly proud of myself that I'm like one of the few skills. That's a worthy pan and back.

I mean, I also have seen a lot of cocaine and not done it, but I just have never done it. Yeah, yeah. See, that's different. The difference is doing it for like years and then not doing it. Yeah. Because I did Coke for like not that long. I think 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. It's like six years of doing coke.

Holy shit. It's not a crazy amount. Yeah, but that's a... How old are you? 27? 26, yeah, yeah. 26? That's like a chunk of your life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was my identity. I was like, if I have a bag of cocaine, I'm going to have friends. And that's... All those friends are just friends of the cocaine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is... I've talked about it before. It is the coolest thing to have a bag of cocaine. You are the most popular guy at the party. Oh, yeah. You're being used, but it is. It is a cool feeling.

Yeah, but that's like a club promoter that has a table. That's like the least cool guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't like necessarily explicitly think you is cool. I don't know to an extent. I think I think people that have drugs are cool. I still think I have very childish, riding a motorcycle without a helmet, still cool. Smoking cigarettes, cool.

Leather jackets. No, no, no, but that's like your narrative of it, right? Over leather. Everyone else at the party's just like, oh, he's got Coke. Yeah. You're like the only one putting the story in it. In my mind, it's like, I'm bad to the ball. you had coke and you're like, and I'm cool.

You're going to have a great time getting it. Dude, there was this guy. There was this guy who at high school. It was so funny because he just saw like, he was not cool. And then he just saw movies and just replicated it. So he drove it like a transam, a hat, a leather jacket and was always bringing cocaine on him. But he was still just like an awkward guy.

But it was so funny because everybody's like, they're like, he's a little crazy either. But it was like, it weirdly kind of worked for him too. Because you're like, first off, it looks insane to wear a leather. In Florida, wearing a leather jacket just never makes any sense. But there was a part of us that, like, second-guessed it. We're like, is that correct?

Is that cool as fuck? Yeah, yeah. Correct. Yeah. It's so funny. He comes in and dressed as, like, Robocop one day. Yeah. He really comes, like, yeah, Robocop is so cool.

Dude, we were talking about being, I think it was being Jason Day. I was talking about somebody. We walked by, you know that comic book, or, it's like a video game store, and they have, like, they always have, like, giant, like, Iron Man or Batman statues. Yeah, like Midtown Comics or something. Yeah, yeah. We were talking about having like a really nice hotel bringing chicks back, but you just have a giant Iron Man

thing just in your kitchen. But nothing else Iron Man. Like your sheets are normal. All that's normal. It's just Iron Man thing. That'd be funny. I always say that would be like a good prank show. I mean, I don't know how it would work like ethically, but you can make where like the whole thing is a guy like an attractive model takes girls home and then like the prank is like he just has something like insane

that like she has to like look past. I mean, you don't show them having sex or anything, but... Oh, yeah. That would be a really hard show to. No, no. They already did that. It's called to catch a predator. But it was the other way. But the guy brings the Iron Man to him. You guys shows up dressed as Iron Man or something. Dude, my favorite was, I've watched like the new Chris Hanson one.

One guy, like... They're still doing it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought they caught them all already. They're far from... The war wages. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy because it's like, it's like, of course, the pedophiles should be thrown in jail, but he's just so mean to them

and they're just having such a horrible day. And he's just like, what you're doing is disgusting. He's like, I know, I'm going to jail. And all that stuff. Hey, how's it? Hello. Yeah.

I don't think anyone, no, you're good. Yeah, yeah. It should be empty, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah, I, that was one of those subscriptions I, like, I had nothing to talk about on the podcast for a couple weeks. like let me just watch a bunch of the new Chris Hanson show. And I'll just talk about the different guys on that show.

And that'll give me something to... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To talk about. To talk about? To write about or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll do that where I'll watch like five vice documentaries about weird things. And I'm like, all right, this will be something and something. But yeah.

But it isn't. But, uh, no, yeah, I'm excited. My back is getting fucked up from the air mattress. It's like, I sleep perfectly on the air mattress, but I keep waking up, like, in fetal position just because of how deflated it is. Oh, you got holes in the mattress? Yeah, yeah. And then people are like, it's easy to find the holes.

You just cover the mattress and soap and water and then turn it on. I was like, that sounds like a not easy process. No, it's easier than that. You just, you lick your finger or your hand. And then you just move your hand around like the mattress and you'll feel where the air is coming. That's a way better way to do. Yeah, that's how I've always done it. You know what can work really well.

You should do is when you wake up, you just pee. Yeah. And then there'll be bubbles somewhere. And then you just throw an axe covered in. You can't fix that. What are you supposed to do that? You just put tape over it and then just prolong on the Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so you put tape over it and prolong on the problem. Yeah, you should just get another. Yeah, you know, it's like $100. I'm like, yeah, that's what I should do. You don't want to take it out your yard. You plug it in first, so it turns on. And then as it blows up, you cover it in water. And when you find the hole, you can have sex with it.

Yeah, yeah. And then you throw it out It's a dirty horse Were you just trying to return it? This badgers came covered in semen. I don't know why. You throw it out because it's impure. Yeah, yeah.

It's impure. Burry it in the backyard. This is no longer in accordance with my religion. You had a berry in the yard and then every once in a while you look out the kitchen window and just disgusting. You do a Chris Hanson on it.

Bring it into the kitchen. What you're doing is disgusting. You're talking to a deflated man. Filled with gum. There's a weird Hasidic thing where it's like you have to bury your cum. Have you heard this? Whoa, really?

Yeah, yeah. I have not heard that. You know, or you Michael be popping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never know if this is real information or started by anti-Semitic person. There's always weird things that you're like, that can't be right.

And you're like, oh, that is weirdly right. Or it's just way off. But you still don't even know, right? Just because you find three sources and the thing. I feel like from the internet. Every, like religion, there are so many different sects of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's probably like a group of 10 Jewish guys who believe in some crazy shit like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not like what Jewish people believe. Totally, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's always a guy trying to justify the weird thing he's doing about being like, no, no, no, it's page 55 of the Torah, I promise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what Hashem bent when he said he loves me. Yeah.

It's like bury my thumb And then I grow a tree baby Yeah The olive tree sits nestled upon the mountain I come there Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I came on it Yeah Well, the weirdest I was on like

I'm not gonna become a dating app comic now I promise I'm not But this is my first time being on them Give it a ghost, see how it works out Yeah, well I just don't know I just don't be one of those guys It's like did you see what's going on on on Tinder? Because there's a lot of that

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah But there's this one girl talking about, like, she went to Yale. And I was like, it was a skull and bones thing, a real thing. She's like, yeah, it's a real thing. I'm like, so they all like jizz on like a glass coffin. She's like, what are you talking about? I was like, I guess I jumped the gun too far. It's like the fourth thing I said to it.

And I'm like, why, why am I talking like that to a total stranger? Yeah, but she would know it as like, this is a club at the school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know what Alex Jones said? I'm like, so they did 9-11, right? She's like, what are you talking about? It's just like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, that is apparently the thing, right?

You've heard that conspiracy that they lay in a glass coffin, everybody jerks off on it? No, that's also not what, that's not the conspiracy under the definition of conspiracy. Right, yeah. That's just a rumor about what a couple of guys are up there. It's not like vying for power or anything. They're just jerking off on a coffin. Yeah, there's not really a conspiracy there. Yeah, yeah.

That's also, how do you want to be a part of a club that bad where you're doing that? Okay, you say that, but like, pre. the United States. I mean, I would be in the coffin covered in seaman to be president. You want to be president? No, no, no, no. Okay, so I don't want to be president.

But I'm saying like, only if I could be covered in the country. I wonder if it's fun. I wonder if there's a guy like, come coughing. And they're like, yeah. They're like, but you have to be the president. He's like,

oh. God damn. Can we just do the cope coffin? Fine. Yeah, it is. No, no. But it's like you are joining that club knowing that your life is,

you're going to have some source of income. That would suck to be the one guy. There's a lot of ways to go about that, you know? Yeah, but you're going to have some source of income. That's so fake. I will say this. My bar for gay stuff is way lower. My bar for gay stuff is way lower than everybody else is.

And I'm finding out once a day where people are like, would you do this for like this much money? I'm like, yeah, totally. And everybody's like, that's nothing. They're like, you're compromising. It's not even a gay straight thing. It's just I don't want to go. I don't want to go through that.

Yeah. You're being homophobic. I don't know. I don't know. You're telling me you don't want to be in a coffin with dudes coming on it. Yeah. You're starting to sound like a bigot to me. Yeah, not particularly.

I just don't want it to go through that. Yeah, yeah. So there's a festival and angry you too. No pride. Does the cum coffin float, piss you off? With all the present about Rushmore of presidents on it? That would be the funniest parade at floated pride. just a coffin, glass,

but just like... That wouldn't offend me at all. If I knew that was going to be afloat, I'd be like, I'm fucking, I'm going to bride, dude. You got me. That sounds awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I would definitely be there.

Yeah. But yeah, that's just... There's never been a club that I've wanted to be a part of where I would do that to get in. But I think you also don't like people that much. I like people a lot. So if we're like...

Not that I want people coming. on my coffin, but... Depends on who it is. And what coffin? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I like people enough. Okay. But, like, one-on-one. I don't like, like, group think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where a bunch of guys are, like, no one

is the bystander who's like, hey, maybe we can just be his friend. We don't have to come on his face under glass. Well, the glass is protecting you from the com. Yeah, I'm not. Oh, really? I'm all in there. I didn't understand the physics. Have you recently joined the club?

Yeah, I'm like, guys, it's not even that weird today. When it's happening, you're like, oh, okay, it's just like another day. Yeah, it's got to be weird. Yeah, I guess. I really wonder the timing has to be perfect. There's got to be a guy, and they're like, steady, wait for it. Because they all got to probably, like, do it at the same time. Yeah, I guess so.

I don't, you know, the thing is, I visited a bunch of my friends when they were in fraternities. Yeah, they didn't have to do anything like that. No, I was there. None of that. They went through, like, some sort of hazing to be friends with these people. And every time I was, I went and visited, I was like, I would like to be friends with like two of the guys here. Yeah, yeah, that's true. You know, and my friends were like, yeah, I'm not friends with every single one of them.

And I'm like, yeah, so there's no, I don't want to like join this brotherhood. Yeah, yeah. So I could just be friends with these two guys. I'll just be friends with them outside of this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you just want to hang out women only. You don't even like touching dudes because you're homophobic and you don't want to be part of the cum cop.

It's fair. It's fair. It's fair. It's fair. One love. One love, dude. For the list, there's KSK as he's holding a sign that says one love. Well, the sign says one love.

Yeah, I didn't get a full story behind that. I don't know. It's just something I'm promoting on this podcast. I'm not doing any more media appearances if I'm not promoting something. Yeah. This at least is like a solid message. Yeah. He had a sign earlier that just said soda.

and not hidden as well. Yeah. Yeah, the responses to that were pretty mixed. I don't know. I don't get that. And I was like, one love? And they were like, I guess so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know. I saw a homeless guy yesterday doing something interesting. He had a pregnancy test that was positive. He looked really well put together. He's like, do you guys have any money? And I was like, that's a good promotion to like look like that. But then I walked by a layer.

Somebody's like, yeah, I just been yelling at the end word with a positive pregnancy test and asking people for money. I'm like, that is a level I have not. seen before. Oh, boy. Yeah. But I will say this, put together people catching off guard is hilarious. I don't think I told you this hotel story yet. So I was taking my parents at a hotel for like five days when I first broke up with my girlfriend and, or we broke up.

I'll give her credit. But we, we, uh, we, uh, I was out drinking and I came back to this hotel and there's a guy balding normal glasses like, like, you know, like just very dad glasses. He's got a, a khaki, like a polo shirt tucked into khakis, right? And,

And we see each other lobby and I'm like, ah, I was doing like drunk guys. I see another drunk guy thing. I like being friendly. I like people. So I'm like, what's up, man? He's like, ah, good to see you, man. And then I go to the elevator bank. He's having trouble with his key.

And I'm like, no, that's not how you do. You do it like this. He's like, ah, dude, you should come to 29. And I was like, ah, maybe I'm on 42. He goes, dude, come to 29. Come to 29. I was like, is there a party on 29? He goes, I'll suck your dick.

And I'm just like, no, thank you. I was like, I'm not gay. And he goes, come on. Like, the way he's asking me is if it's like a beer or something. He's like, come on, he comes to a way, nine, come to a way and I was like, no. He's like, he's like, come on, dude, just come to 29. I was like, come on. I was like, okay, he goes, ah, all right, well, take care.

Just have the most normal. Did he change his glasses to crazy glasses? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was wearing normal glasses early and he's like puts on crazy glasses. Come to 29 now. Like hearts. Yeah. Or like the 2003.

Yeah. For summer, yeah, the New Year's ones. Damn, dude. So what happened? The guy blew him. No, no, I just went my different ways. And then I freaked out in the middle of the night, too, because my parents were staying in the same hotel room as me. I'm in bed.

And then my dad has a sleep apnea mask on, and he reaches over to, like, close my laptop. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he reaches over to, like, close my laptop. And then just an inch away from my face is just bane. I started freaking out. I think I hit my dad. And I was like, I was already on edge. I was like some guy trying to suck me off, which is fine.

Well, you saw Bain from like Batman? Well, it just felt like, it felt like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I thought you were like freaking out and like, no, he's sucking my dick. Yeah. Was the guy kidding? Do you think he was kidding? No, no, because he was kind of touching me a little bit, too. He's like, come on, come to 29, come to 29.

I was just like, no, thank you. He's like, come on. That's my, must have worked for him. Yeah, well, I was like, yeah, totally. Yeah, well, I was also like, it's funny that he's just wandering the hotel, like somebody from the Shining. Like, he's just like, just trying to get somebody to suck your dick, just going on different floors. He's like, hey, hey, what's up, bro? Come on. Come on. Normal glasses. Yeah. There must be a couple guys walking around in the world just like, like, pops in other head that memory sometimes. Yeah. Every time they're just like in a quiet hotel lobby. They like sit at the bar and they look down. They're like, like, yeah, remember they, what that guy? My dick, because he asked twice. He wasn't even, like, that convincing about it. Yeah, he's like, I did want to be rude.

And I was like, you know what? I've never been to Key West before. Let me try some of the different. Yeah, remember that time I was in St. Louis? I was like, yeah, he's like your dick. And I was like, nah. And he's like, come on. I was like, hey, I guess so.

Yeah. Or is back into like, honey, do you get milk? Oh. Uh, no. Actually, I should go back out and go to San Luis. Go back to the hotel and wait. He goes back the same day every year. For ten years and just sits at the bar.

Drinking a cutty sark on ice. I bet you the guy did give a bad blowch. Because he looked like, like, I would guess, I mean, maybe he is like an openly gay man, but I was like, he just, he just really, I don't know, I don't know, he just, and there are gay dudes that, like, would pass for straight, but he seems like a closet guy who just likes blowing guys when he's on business trips. And that guy is probably not the best at sucking dick compared to, like, I feel like somebody who's, like, openly gay and, like, I don't know, because this guy, I feel like this guy sucks dick maybe once every four months, I don't know. But he sounds like a real one, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, I think those. other people are posers, honestly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think they probably suck at sucking dude. Yeah, I wonder if he, like, cleans his glasses off before. If, if we fit the narrative to those coordinates, what are you saying, like, he probably, like, it worked with him for a while he's, like, just roaming hallways of, like, hotels. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm sure, like, he got better over time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I noticed with myself. Yeah. Or he is a ghost, or he's a ghost. How old did you say this guy was? He was, like, 55, probably. Like, and just, like, the most, like, like, looks like, like, when he's, like, your dad's friend. I mean, I don't know what your dad's friends look like. Maybe not.

But yeah. I don't know. They all look like they have like a dick in their mouth. Man, dude, what a life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One life. Yeah, yeah. Exotic. One love, baby. One love. One love. Shout out. Room 29. Is that his actual room? Yeah, room. Yeah, yeah. And my parents were on 42. Maybe don't know. The hotel or the city or any of that. Oh, yeah. What hotel? Yeah, he just lives in 20. Yeah. He just lives in 20. He goes to the lobby. He's like, you see any cute guys here? Oh, man. You should just pay a bunch of guys to go to the hotel lobby and just tell everyone that they're staying in room 29. I just see if that guy is like, what's the far?

Yeah. The hard part is... Big night ahead of us. I will always question what 29 looked like. Like, is he like my dad, so he's got to sleep apnea mask? Or does he have a little more class where he had flower? on the bed ready to go. You know, he's, I don't know, he's straight presenting.

Maybe he put, like, a top gun on or something. Like, he's, there's something kind of like, like, uh, you should have gone in. You think it would be, I would have stopped thinking about it after I said no. Yeah. Do you think it would be stranger for you if you went, if you went to his hotel. I'm sorry. If you went to his hotel room and he was doing, he was trying to straight it up, like,

top gun on and there's like Nerf guns on the guy. shooting off a couple rounds before he came in. He has like a target and he's like, you can give that a go after a while. I mean, when you're done, we could just like hang out. He's got like we golf or something.

After all, we are men. Or it was the eye that he was like, I'm just a closeted gay man, I can only express it here. And he has like flowers. Yeah. would you which one would be stranger for you? I think the,

the closet of stuff makes me like, that stuff, bros blowing each other that are gay doesn't bother me as much as somebody pretending to be a bro to like hide who they are. Because that makes me sad. Because it's like there are also, there's gay dudes that are just bro-y gay dudes,

which is, yeah, and that's like, I always like somebody different. And I'm like, oh, you're not what I expected you to be. So that's always fun.

But versus somebody who's just like, if he was like, I fucking hate football. I just lie about it. I'm like, oh, that's like a deep, like you change your whole personality. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is tough, yeah. Faking the funk. Faking the funk, yeah. Always bad vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then you know what? I'm talking about the other thing on here.

We're talking about the other thing. The dominatrix. So I got a hotel room to myself. I was like, I'm going to try something weird. I'm going to get a dominatrix. Worst experience of my whole entire life. That sounds. Right on the moon.

Yeah. By the way, me being single for this brief period ties made me realize I'm like, all these things I thought would be fun when I'm out of a, like they're not, they're not fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there's some guy trying to blow you.

Your dad's got a Bain mask out of you. You got to listen to Irish plays. 29's calling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got like Adabatrix. I was like, okay, you know, it was like $200, and I was like, okay. And it was like a 60-year-old woman

because I wanted to get something, like a little depressed. I was like, let me, not depraved, but I was like, let me do something kind of wild. Let me just, you know, like, do something crazy. And first of all, the room key's not working, so I, like, kind of freak out a little bit. I'm like, oh, I look like a, I'm going to, like, murder this. At least that's what in my head, I was like, I'm not going to murder. I didn't say that, but I was just like, I'm not going to murder you, I swear. And I'm trying to get the room key in.

Finally, I go downstairs, which is just awkward because, hey, it's just weird. She's just waiting up there. And then, uh... You were in a trench coat? No, no, no, no, just like a totally... Like a raincoat? No, no, she was like a New Jersey, like, middle-aged woman that was, like, very nice. But, um...

Dressed in, like, civilian clothing? No, she's a soldier. She's a soldier. She's dressed in, I don't know the roleplay. You didn't text me. Or she dressed up in the hellraiser gear? No, no, so I don't like... I'm in the lobby.

She's just, like, fucking spiked ass. I'm here for Michael. Yeah. That would be so embarrassing. But what happened to do? I just dressed totally normal. And, um... She was like, what role play?

I was like, oh, be like, you know, like a babysitter who's like, you know, I'm in trouble or whatever. And worst improper on planet Earth should have taken a level one UCB or something. Because I get in there and it's like, she's like, do you know why you're in trouble? I was like, no, why am I in trouble? She's like, she goes to. Wait a minute, what age are we again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What age are you supposed to be?

Because it could be lollipops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I was like, and she was going to spank me. And the problem is that they're spanking, you can't tell them. I like initially was like, don't spank me too hard. But she spagging yourself. And you can't tell the person to spank you harder because then that ruins the whole roleplay. There's no roleplay there. So I was like, okay, I'll just let this middle-aged woman gently spank me while asking me why I'm in trouble. And then she goes, she goes, I heard you were bad to the bass babysitter. What happened? I was like, oh, she, you know, saw me masturbating. She's like, you should never expose yourself in front of people. That's a horrible sex crime. And I was like, no, she walked in on me masturbating. She goes, oh, well, it's not technically a crime. So I was like, that's what you said? No, she said that. She's like, this is not technically a crime.

I was like, she's like, but you shouldn't have done it anyways. And I didn't think. So the thing is you're supposed to be committing a crime? Yeah, yeah. I was like, I don't want to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the only reason I get in trouble in this weird world. And then she goes, I'm taking a bath.

and I didn't think that any... I thought there was just going to be like a stripper kind of role play kind of thing. I didn't think any of this would happen. And she goes to jerk me off. And she goes, now I'm going to molest you. And goes in, she goes, I'm molesting you, Michael. And I was like, please stop. Please don't use that word.

Like, that's so uncomfortable. Yo, oh. And I was like, I was like, where did she get that? Because, like, porn, they don't say, I'm molesting you. And they're molesting people. They wouldn't say, I'm committing a crime. I was like, where did you get this information from? That that's like how you...

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like I'm a family court lawyer. All these scenarios come from intimate homes. How much did this cost you? It was $200. Damn, dude, you could have just given it to me, and I would have said, don't do it, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, somebody, too, because I was really nervous to do it, and I was, like, talking to my therapist, and she's like, you should do it. I was worried, I was like, I'm going to become some weird sex addict where this is where I spent. No, no, dude, but ultimately, that's cool that you did. I mean, it's a fucking, like, the craziest thing I did the other day was, like just mix a little bit of red wine with white wine. And then he called it rosé at a table full of people that didn't like my jokes.

And that's like to me, I was like, oh, this is crazy. We're at dinner party having a mix of it. Like your version of going crazy was like hiring someone to do the dominatrix thing. Which is like, that's a fucking wild adventure. That's really cool that you experience it. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah. And it's not like, and it's also you're within that experiment.

You're also exploring whether you are that like sex addict or not or like if this is right for me. Well, that's what my therapist is like, go for it. She's like, no, that's why ultimately, outside of all the jokes,

it's like, it's fucking dope that you did. Yeah. Definitely would not be the person. I've thought of like hiring someone at some point. I'm like, no.

Yeah, yeah. I just have the thought and I'm like, no, no. It's a lot of work and I don't want to spend that much money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I was just like, I was like, I'm going to try it out. And it was so funny too because then like what happened was immediately afterwards, you're freaking out. You're like,

what am I doing? You're looking at the hotel mirrors. You're looking at your reflection. You're like, who am I? And I was like, do people ever freak out afterwards? I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm a stand-a-com comedian. I got out of a long relationship. I feel like the people that are into it don't freak out like that. No, no, well, she says, she's like, yeah, this middle-age guy sometimes she just runs out of the room afterwards. Or no, this old guy. And she's like, I think he might be seen. I although. She's like, I should probably stop seeing him. Wait, so you also had a real conversation with her.

Yeah, for like an hour, yeah. Not an hour, but like 15 minutes. That's also really cool. You got to speak to someone that lives a wild, that's a wacky life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so different than, like, definitely how I live my life. Totally, yeah. And her adventures are probably fucking insane, too. Yeah, well, she says they're all, like, a lot of them are high-level CEOs. That's what they always, it's always like those guys.

And she said, I was like, you must be getting clients every, like, how many clients do you have a day? She's like, oh, I'm lucky if I get them twice a week. I was like, ooh, that sucks. Because I thought she was just over spanking jerking dudes off all day. And then the crazy thing she said is she said her most common client are black guys that like being called the N-word. She says it's called race play. She's like, that's the most common thing. She's like, I have to really, like, clarify before.

She's like, I'm not racist, you know, here's like the black squirt. I don't know if she was that far, but she's like, she's like, she's like, I die. This is all just, just to role play. Flag in my bag. Yeah. But, yeah, yeah. And then it's funny because then she goes, you know, I think, I always thought I could do

stand-up comedy. And then she's just in the hotel room going like, like, women these days, right? They think men like them. They don't like you. They just want you for your pussy. And I'm just like, that's great. That's great. Say for it.

Say for it. She starts giving you some money back. Goes on with her set. Yeah, just returning. But yeah, yeah, really an eye-opening experience. And the next day, you're like, it's funny. Initially, it's a, like, you just feel, you're like, what am I doing in my life? You feel all this shame and guilt and stuff like that.

And then you're just like, yeah, that's what it is. You know, that'll make who I am. Maybe one day I'll be a better father because of it. I don't know. Possibly, you never know. But like stuff like that, it's so interesting when you reflect and you're like, oh, I have to live with myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that.

Yeah, yeah. I think that, like, helps with how you choose whatever else. But, yo, now that you did that and you spoke to that woman, like, you should... Give her your information. You should see if she likes you. No, no. Like, dude, what if you just kept hiring different sex workers and just, like, interviewed them? And not have sex.

They just bring them out of the pod. Yeah, yeah. Like an Adam 22, but I don't know. go for the session. Like, I'm doing like a different fetish this time around. And then like afterwards you speak to them. Like, how'd you get into this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be a fun. I've just seen like a dog

costume just interviewing her. It's that episode. It's the episode of like dog costume. That's an interesting one because I, I not in a sexual way, but I get wanting to act like a dog. It's a fun life just to be like, I want to bark at people. Like I get that. Not the sexual aspect, but like I would

pee outside of it. Like what your whole life is being a dog? No, no. Well, I think these are like two complicated things. I think like the dog, the baby, the this, all these things. I think there's people that like identifies that and then there's people that just in a sex state like it. Like I think there's people that probably like being on a leash just for like the sexual stuff and there's people that are like, I actually want to be on a league. You know what I mean? It's like

the same way there's like dudes that want to like wear dresses in a sexual setting, but they're not transgender versus somebody who transitions and is a woman if that makes any sense. Yeah, I get you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And further thoughts on that? That makes perfect sense to me.

Nothing wrong with that life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what I've been up to. Yeah, I don't mean to be a party poopier, but I have to leave like right now. Okay, that's fine. I just got a text. Yeah, yeah, I mean, we'll just do the next 10 minutes alone. Is that fine?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Sorry about that. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I hope everything's all right. It's okay. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm not homophobic.

And then we start talking about weird. sex things he gets out of the room. What I'm saying for is this is the kind of stuff that they fought for. Yeah. Yeah, this is the stuff that we all fight for. Yeah. No, but in a way, that is kind of what we fight for.

We fight for the ability to have seeming choices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To access to a type of freedom where you're like, am I this person? I want to find out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, the fact that you have access to that is a part of, like, a type of freedom, you know, like, and that's, like, where you're at right now, and you get to do that. Yeah, I'm, I just said, like, this is the freeze. Like, I have no constraints

to anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It comes with, like, terrified. Because, like, in my mind, I just, I have all these, which the really funny part is, like, I was talking with my producer a couple episodes. I was like, yeah, sometimes you do shrooms, you see a homeless guy. You're like, what if I would have become homeless guy. I'm like, that's never going to happen. And he's like, you are homeless. I was like, I was like, oh, I am. It's a different level. Like, I'm not going to go by, like, guys in the street.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. But there's some elements that you're sharing in that moment. You're closer to a homeless guy than you've ever been before. Yeah, yeah. It is, it is a weird because, like, in my mind, I was so scared of, like, I was like, oh, the second I don't have, like, a home, I'm going to feel just, like, horrible sense of, like, lack. But that's the truest representation of life, right? Like, dude, like, you never know.

Like, you didn't know that this was happening. Yeah, yeah, you didn't plan this out. Like, that's just all of, it's so fascinating how just like, it always, there's this like thing of like, I don't know how I'm going to make it through this. Yeah, totally. But it's just, it's like you recognize, like, for me, I'm starting to recognize that that's just like a feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That feeling of like, oh, shit, I'm like in over my head.

I don't know what the fuck to do. Everything's crumbling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it's like, however it works out in somewhere or another, it's going to work out. And then it's just like in those moments, it's like a matter of like, how well you can, like, be calm enough to not, like, do the, like, react out of panic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, and, uh, yeah, dude. Like, besides that, it's like, you're, it's like when the walls wash away of like, no, no, reality, like, anything can happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's reality. That's always the thing. Yeah, and this is all in the same week and I'm like, what is going on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, wow, the, the dominatrix thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the guy trying to suck my dick in the hotel and yeah, yeah. Wow, that's also fascinating. And the stripper with the, yeah. they're reading the book and the Irish play and the yeah that's wow what a wild night also in terms of that like

in terms of processing this like very complex emotion set of emotions that you're experiencing like what better way but to distract yourself with like these endeavors yeah yeah and then you just reach that point where you're just kind of like oh man that's all it's so fucking crazy all the time I don't know if I want that yeah yeah well and you need

to like it's funny because everybody's like there are people that have like jokingly shit I mean they're like great way to process a breakup and I'm like No, that's one of the ways Whatever you're doing now Is part of processing the breakup, right? Yeah And then you'll find your way of like,

Oh, I don't have to process it like this You know? Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. With every decision that you make But everything that you're doing right now is processing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there's better ways and not so better ways, but in time you'll recognize that.

Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. If shit's getting worse, then you're probably not paying attention to certain other things. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it is funny that like, yeah, that like, yeah, that like just extreme like you don't need i don't know i like that i'm just like you don't need a home

but it's in a yeah you too but it's like but it's like but it's into too because it's like this sounds so hippie-dippy but it's like you're part like nothing's ever permanently especially in new york city like it's such a different life where like you are living a place for a most i know most people i know live in a place for like a year that's how it works then you get to new place it's an illusion that we like live in we're all nomadic yeah yeah just the time frame for where we move and when we move is different than everyone else some people are like you know homeless for the most mobile. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say the crazy when you see one guy in one part of town and then you see him in a way different part of town. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's other places. The trashy is a little better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, dude. And like, yeah, we're all nomadic no matter what. I'll be getting into, I've been playing that song by Metallica wherever my head mirror. I'm the one. He's like, no man, vagabom,

I like really like just going into whatever I'm doing in life. with like music that's fitting the set. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, that's great. Soundtracking. My last's a movie, bro. That's a great feeling.

Dude, I've been, like, biking around the city a lot and just putting on, like, playlist that's, like, good for biking. And, yeah. What's your biking playlist? I like a lot of instrumental beats. And what have I been listening to? Oh, there was, like, a week where I was listening to nothing about, like, Western music. Oh, interesting.

I was treating, like, my bike like a horse. It was just... It was just when I spent... I just came off of, like, playing, like, Red Dead Redemption for, like, three months straight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, like, feeling all the feels of that, like, details of the game and all the emotions,

like, it was really a wonderful experience. But I was inside most of that time, and I was like, oh, let me do something active. So I just recently started biking and stuff, and, dude, it's great. But, like, coming off of that, I was still in, like, cowboy mode. Oh, totally.

Just playing, like, nothing but, like, cowboy soundtracks. Yeah. And it felt dope, dude. Yeah. Just rolling around the corner and just, like, this is a horse. Yeah, yeah. That's the most fun too, because

like, I used to get a lot with, like, I watch a superhero movie, and, like, for the day, I'm like, I need to be the hero of today. Oh, my blankets are capes. Yeah, yeah. Walking around the city, I'm like, yeah, I just saw Batman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can break this fight up. But yeah, yeah, what are you saying?

Because there's movies that, where I get, like, influenced by the movie, right? Like, with the superhero movie, what are you saying? If you walk out of the theater, and you're like, no, this is, this is the day for, for champions. Yeah. For champions meeting with true justice. And you're like, I just sat in a place and ate buttery popcorn and smoked so much pot.

That feeling is such a beautiful feeling. It's like the same with like a religious experience. Totally. Like after like a good set. Yeah. Like comedy. It's like that sort of like, however that influences you. Dude, when I saw like, like the Batman or whatever, like that soundtrack was like

playing in my head and I was like walking to the streets and like, these motherfuckers don't even know. For no reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just that mentality stayed with me. It's, like, fun to, like, enter that mentality for a bit and be like, oh, yo, this is like what enters in other people's minds and then they, like, carry it through. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

On the external. And they're like, oh, this guy's a fucking loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like, the guy who, like, watches, like, yeah, too many, like, movies or too many Andrew Tate videos. And then he's just like, yeah, it's about escaping the Matrix. So great. I've been watching now.

It's so funny watching like the alpha male. Are you into Andy Elliott at all? He's one of the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just crumbling. It's so funny. Oh, it's not doing well? No, no, no.

I'm watching all these like people deconstructing and analyzing. Like, you know, it's just like falling apart. And all those people that were like doing those like podcast bits where they're like just talking mean to women. Yeah, yeah. The thing is you have like 10 women on and it's like, you think you're ever going to get a husband? It's like, what is this? All those people were getting like exposed like for being like,

fucking like scam artists and shit yeah yeah yeah dude it's like I'm like this is so great yeah yeah yeah because like I'm watching these clips and like it's sad that there's definitely a good portion of people that believe this yeah yeah yeah but then it's so great that they're all fucking falling apart oh yeah yeah yeah hopefully those people that believe it kind of like

see through it but hey whatever it's gonna take shape somewhere else yeah yeah well that that is the very funny part because it's like people do bring up a good point when they're like oh well there is a like it's like I never like I love these videos They're very funny. Like Andrew Tate. Andy Elliott's another one.

He's not as, like, sexist, but he is very, like, uh, he's just like, if you don't, he's this car salesman's like, like, if you don't have abs, you can't work for me. Like all this, like stuff like that. He's just about. And there's like, oh, so he's gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, basically. Yeah. Yeah. but it is funny too because it's like I those guys are obviously like they're insane they're like losers and they're not losers

I mean they're millionaires but like you know what I mean they're losers in certain ways like the mentality yeah yeah because like also like yes I think I cross my legs the second we're shitting on alpha males I'm like that's not me I'm a New Yorker because like you know like I think about that sometimes I'm like oh these fucking losers I'm like well they they do have a lot of money I'm like yeah but the mentality

they stay in yeah to generate that wealth it's like, I don't think it's like really healthy. Yeah, I don't know if they're having fun, but it is also very fun to like look at a guy on a private jet be like, yeah, sure he's happy as me. I'm like on an air mattress. Like, my life is crumbling. But the one thing that does bug me, though, is when people are like, people are like, look at the way this is influencing our children. Like, how about you, you raise your own kids?

Yeah, yeah. Speaking for the kids. No, but I think that's just like a... So the kids want. Yeah. Let the kid decide. Yeah. like, yo, I think that's just like what we do as humans.

It's so fascinating. Like, just the type of dialogue of saying like, you got to understand about men, right? Because we're like the type and it's like not every, like, I don't relate to a lot of things that like are supposed to be for men. Right. And I'm like, I don't even know if I'm a guy, dude. Yeah. I'm not saying I'm any one thing or another, but like, you know, the people when I got, I got, I got, there's people before me before I came here. Yeah, yeah.

And those people are like, hey, you're a guy. I'm like, okay, I'll take your word for it. You know, like, yeah, yeah. I just got here. but like the whole identity it's like all men are not the same

all women are we're all you know there's some similarities but then like what are the similarities you know we discover that over time you know like yeah it's not dependent on like

I just think well the difference is that women rip your heart out and men are there for you when you fall they just have that claw yeah that diamond claw grass

on your heart every one of them yeah but yeah yeah it's like I think that really is a part of the foundation for like unhealthy thinking.

Yeah, totally. Because what you're saying, you're saying like, just raise your own kids and like, yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? But like, it's like we're, we and I'm doing it right now. I'm doing it right by saying like, no, no, I'm saying like we tend to do, like I'm yeah, yeah, yeah, generalizing it itself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying there's a fault to to that. Oh, totally. We can really blanket what you're saying and just go in full steam. Yeah, yeah. And not address the fact that you just spoke about like half the population of the earth. Yeah, billions of people. Yeah, billions of people as if you fucking know. And it's like, no, you saw like your own,

whatever your frequency of the pattern that you see with the people around you, but that's not still like the lit, that's not accurate to everyone. And like, hopefully we tread this planet and we experience how wrong we are. Yeah. And you know, even the experience that you had.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't think you speak to a lot of dominatrixes. No, no, no, no. And you, you met up with one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a different lifestyle. She probably has, like, so many things that are similar to what we do and so many things that are way different.

Oh, totally, yeah, yeah. And the only time I really believe in generalizing it, I do think in comedy, sometimes it's fun to generalize. You're like, the guy with the Toyota Prius doing this and that, and you're like, yeah, I don't actually believe that. But I'm... Yeah, yeah, yeah, but for comedy, it's like shorthand. And comedy itself is its own kind of language.

And unfortunately, like, it gets murky when people are like, oh, they're the philosophies over time. Yeah, yeah, they're also doing a lot of things in terms of... speech, it's very unhealthy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you can't just keep generalizing, right? Like, in performance, yes, because you're trying to get to the point of also making the joke work. You have to generalize a certain amount to highlight how this joke works.

Yeah, like, everybody in Denver likes this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, like, spread across. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, every, it's not completely accurate. No, of course, yeah, but it's not supposed to be an accurate thing. It's supposed to be, yeah, yeah. And then, like, people that, like, watch stand up.

They, they, like, they see that. They're like, oh, this is how, like, a person should talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, now they're doing the fucking thing and not really, like, connecting with how that's, like, a different form of communication. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I wouldn't walk up to a random person

and start talking that way. Yeah. The funny thing I want to say about the mansphere, though, it's really funny. There's that chick in it, like, the red hair one. I think her name is Pearl. And she's like, oh, yes. She's nuts.

Watching her, dude, she's so fucking crazy. But I will say this, when I get why people get into it because there's a second where she's like, you know, men, and you start to feel that little thing, you're like, oh, someone's standing up for me? Like, I feel it a little bit. I'm like, this is a wonderful.

And then she's like, women shouldn't vote. I'm like, okay. But it's so wild. She's like, yeah, just face it, you guys. Like, women are dumber than men. And I'm like, yo, what the fuck are you doing? And in terms of like the fault of generalization, now she's also calling out like, yo,

there's women that are way more successful than her and are way smarter than her. Like in terms of whatever the fuck she's like, whatever the fuck garbage she's like spitting out is like insane. I mean, you call it garbage, but that's, yeah. one men's trash but yeah it is funny the interesting thing I don't want to talk too

politicky yeah we got like two men's left I think yeah it's not too politicie I think I think we're having more of like a human conversation yeah yeah because I'm not trying to like bring in any like no totally in this the one thing I do find really interesting now real quick is I've noticed that liberal people they don't like to claim people

they're like that somebody who's really liberal but they're like, he's not liberal, but then conservatives will claim everybody. Like, people are like, Dave Chappelle is actually a conservative. You're like, what do you? It's like two different things, but people like, they'll take anyone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he's one of us. That's how they're like successful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how they get their numbers. Yeah, yeah, and then in your mind, you're kind of like, that guy thinks like me. You're like, I'm thinking the right thing because that guy thinks like me.

Yeah, yeah. But as I said, I hate to throw in politics, but I think we're ready to wrap up pretty soon here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good to go. I got my shoes on. I'm ready to start this podcast. Yeah.

This is the bad thing before. Anything you want to promote? Oh, yo, if you like comedy, also check out the show top five. It's just what I'm doing. I would love to do one, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yo, we have the ingredients right here. Yeah. I can't today. No, I'm saying we just, I'm just speaking generally. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. I was speaking about, like, right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm leaving town for like three weeks. So I got to pack everything. I'm going to Boston, Rhode Island, Austin, and Chattanooga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, you're off to, like, a really fun adventure. Yeah, I'm excited.

And it's like good weather. You're going to be, like, at decent weather, I think. It's not like, it's not like the pit of winter, you know? Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, Boston. You know, so you have some, like, cool nights, maybe some sunny days. I'm very excited for you, man. Thank you, thank you.

And it's really cool that this is happening. And in the processing of dealing with, like, just the pain of whatever this is, like, you know, it's not just painful. It's more than that. It's, it's every, dude, you're experiencing life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Life feels like this. And that is the crazy part, dude.

It's very funny. I was like, what was I going to be a stand-up comedian and never experience a break? You know what I was like, I was like, it'd be crazy to never experience this part of life. So, yeah, yeah. I'm really happy for you. And I'm very grateful you have me on the show. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. Thanks for coming on. That's the most serious ending through a fun thing, but it's genuine. Thank you. Yeah, dude. Yeah.