Morning Good - Asians Aren't Boring, We're Killing It - Episode 127

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Big thanks to James Camacho for joining the show for the first time and to Kevin McGloin for coming back on. Check out Kevin on previous episodes and find more info about both of these guys at their links below.Find James on Instagram @camachbro and check out his podcast @imjustakidpodcast featuring a very funny episode with Michael. Also, if you're a Floridian, catch James on tour in Cocoa Beach January 6-7th. Kevin is on Instagram as well @kevinmcgloin and co-hosts Prohibition Comedy in Astoria.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. Very good.

I love that. Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to Morning. Here we go. All right. We're recording now. We're here with James Camacho. Yes.

And Kevin McGloin. Hey. Did I, every single time I worry about, is it McGoin or McGloin? McGloin, yeah. All right, I got it right. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

What was the, how was the decision-making process on this episode? I have an Asian quota and I wanted to meet it all. For October's about to end. A half Asian quota. Yeah.

So this is your quota for, so you don't have, you don't need an Asian guy for a couple months, right? Yeah, I'm good now. I'm good to go. Because anyone tries to cancel you. Hey, hey, hey, I had an Asian guy on,

two Asians last year. Yeah, yeah. I want to hear a shit. That's the main reason I record video. So I have evidence physically. Because you guys could technically be, I don't know, you guys could be anything right now. They don't know for sure. You got to get a new job.

So you got to show me your progressive. Like, hey, my podcast, I may say slurs, but I have Asian people. I like how you didn't go full Asian, though. You know, you're cutting off at the... I asked Alvin to be on last week. Okay. Yeah, could have been good. No, but it also like...

You can't have Asians on. It's all about math. It'll be a terrible episode. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. No. But it was like I knew...

it's it's so no but you're right in a way it's like it's so funny because there was a my my girlfriend and i there was one time i was in a group of people and there was some asian guy in there and he didn't say anything it was an Asian girl he didn't say anything and then later in conversation like my girlfriend was like he didn't include that person the conversation i'm like they didn't speak up it's like well they probably felt like they couldn't have so it's like oh it's my job to like be like do you have anything to contribute to this conversation Yeah, that's a wild thing to be like, but she wasn't that mad mad. She was just like, it would have been nice if you, because it was, like, to me, to me,

watching outside, it was kind of awkward. It's a person there just kind of like not talking. By the way, I'm just turning off the fan. I'm listening now. Yeah, yeah. No, but that's like, um, I feel that too because I kind of, uh, when I was in like middle school and stuff, I definitely felt like that quiet Asian where it's just like, I just keep in my thoughts and like trying to find the right time to say, you ever think of something

in your head? You want to say it. And you're like, okay, I'm going to time it. Like, it'll be a perfect time to say it. Like, miss it. Well, you don't miss it. That's 95% of this podcast. I'm like, this punchline, I could squeeze it in.

And then I'll organically try to come back to him. Like, you know, when you were saying this. Right, right. When you actually throw it in, it's too late or people are like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't hear you. Or someone says the thing you said and you're just like, God, God, that was good. I knew it.

Oh, yeah. I have a buddy who will, I'll say something too quiet. He'll be the only one that hears it. He'll just repeat it louder. Oh, I love that. Get a big laugh and just take credit for it. I'm like, dude. That's going to be your agent or manager at some point, man.

That guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the way I actually do choose guests is I just choose who, like, I know you guys know each other. And the other one, because you and Carney are also friends, but I was like, I'm starting one with him. By the way, listeners don't even know this. So that's why I was like, if I record twice with the same person in one week, I'm like,

I can't do like a third time because we've run out of all of our rapport. Right, right, right. I was like, that's all we've had to talk about. Yeah. It's so crazy with the podcast. I think there's a few different types. There's one where you do. it yourself.

Um, Oh yeah. Oh, no, push the, uh, oh, oh,

you're good. That's my fault for. Awkward. No, there's some way you do it yourself. There's one you do with a guest and then there's what the one you have just, um, like a co-host. Yeah.

And I, I think a lot of those have, it has to be like personality based, I feel like, you know? Oh, 100%. I'm sort of realized because I have guests on every week, but I, I, I'm definitely more of like, a, like,

I'm an only child. Like, I'm definitely like a do it yourself guy. Yeah. If I really, if it's almost like necessity that I need help then I'll reach out and like get it

so I think yeah I think it's just like your personality is kind of what fits into like the podcast method you know oh yeah but it's weird because strategicness is funny too because some people I think will be a great combination and then I have a model I'm like oh that's that was horrible like not intentionally

it's like you think high energy is good and high energy is good but too much high energy is just people yelling over each other and you're like oh shit this is a lot Yeah, yeah. Like, I love Rhino Tool and I love Jess Levin. I've never had them on together and I don't think I ever will. Because I'm like, that will just be... Oh, yeah.

So you thought they would mesh? I know, I didn't have them on together. Oh, yeah. But I don't think I would. Name two people you did have on with Hy-Henon. It's named names here. Yeah, no, it's hard with the podcast, too, because you can't just throw out an episode if, like, it doesn't go well, you're like,

this person took time out of their day, so... Yeah, sometimes I feel like that I'm like, this was a dud, and then you want to be like, you just like, oh, well, it's still going up. Right, right. There's so little things in life where you're like, that was not good work. Yeah. And they get in anyways. Yeah.

I've had a phone week so far, though. I'm very unemployed right now. I'm on the cusp of, I'm so lazy because I've had my final job interview with the company. So, like my Instagram, by the way, listeners, I got the coffee cup logo, which is my safe thing. Which is like, I feel like, hopefully they see the picture of the coffee cup and they're like, we're not going to listen further to the podcast. Yeah. But I've just been a real piece of shit with the unemployed. Because I have my final job interview with his job and they haven't told me if they haven't told me.

I got it or not. So I'm refusing to apply to other jobs because I'm like, I'd rather just enjoy. That's the right move. Yeah, I don't think that's... Now, let me ask you this. Is, are you... How long have you been unemployed for? Not that long. No, like two weeks. Oh, okay. That's not bad. Yeah. But I got really high the other day,

I went to go see Black Adam, which was very fun. Dude, I had a blast. The Rock, it was like... Apparently, he bought the rights to that movie like years ago, like 20... Something crazy, like 15 years ago. Yeah. And he's, like, been... It's been in the works for, like, very long. And then he kills, I'm not gonna run the movie. He kills like 10 people, or no, 50 people in like five minutes. Like literally the first, he shows him, he just kills like 50 people. And I was

like, that's awesome. Is he, is he a villain in it? Like, he's like an anti-hero kind of guy. Okay. I want to watch it. It looks really fun. Yeah. I was like, that's what, people like nowadays the movies, they're always just like, oh, you know, this movie didn't reach my whatever. It's like, it didn't have this. I'm like, why can't just be fun movies? You know what I mean? As long as it takes me away from my life or whatever. It's like a roller coaster ride and I'm enjoying it and then I leave every time you leave a movie you had a good time you're like kind of inspired like a little bit

like you kind of like dude I was like I'm going to be the hero of my life now exactly exactly then it goes away as soon as you step out and someone asks you for money but it's like that's somebody watching Superman you're like I'm going to do a good deed you're like ew get away from me but that's the whole point of the movie so anyone that's like

I guess you can watch so many where you kind of that kind of kills it for you you, but as long as it does that, for me, it's, who cares, you know? This was the only time I've never felt body dysmorphia. And for some reason, I've watched this movie and I was like, I, it's normally, Super Hair movie is the biggest escape for me, right?

Because they're like, I don't normally watch them high, and I think that was the problem. Because normally you watch Super Hair movie, and you're like, this is fun, I'm not thinking about my own problems. Sure. But I was just so high in the movie theater alone by myself. Yeah. I'm like, I'm a fucking loser.

I'm here watching, I'm an unemployed. A loser. Yeah, you went alone. Yeah, because if you go with Freds, you're like, there's something about doing something with somebody else that makes you feel less shameful. Yeah. Now, with the unemployment, it's like, I mean, you're doing comedy and you're doing the podcast.

Like, do you feel any sort of like accomplishment or like you're getting any shit done? I know because maybe it's not necessarily like translating the money with the podcast and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, because I've read comedy full time. Yeah, yeah.

No, writing wise, it goes up dramatically. You still got to feel a little accomplished with that, right? Yeah. I think the problem was I, like, I bombed a set, then got high the next day and went to go see a movie. And I feel like with your confidence of comedy, it's day to day. You're like, I'm off. Set to set. Yeah.

In the same night, you could be like, oh, I fucking suck. I'm just starting to, I think I'm the most tenure to comedian here, but I'm just starting to, like, be able to bomb. Yeah. And be like, it'll be fine. You know, it's like, yeah, the next set will be fine. Like, but that's, like, if it's two bombs in row, then I kind of go into that crisis mode, we're like, what am I doing? Like, I'm a piece of shit. Yeah. And like, if I were

to get high, I would probably fall into a huge depression. Yeah, you get so in your head. And I got in my head about the weirdest. Like I watched the movie, I'm like, I'll never have muscles like Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I'm like, why am I comparing myself with the rock? But that also showed me that the whole body image thing is like, that's kind of a personal problem. Because I'm like, these movies have been out for so

long. It's only the fact that I'm high and alone. Yeah. Nobody else should be like a logical person is not going to see the rock and to start feel bad about themselves. Right. Right. Women do that. But, yeah.

Like, that whole body image thing, like, I, okay, so like, women act like, guy celebrities aren't,

you know, portrayed as like muscular, whatever. It's like, we have to face the same shit. Oh, dude, no. We just don't cry about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, um, all like, I, like, the rock,

whatever he does, like, to, because I, I, I, I don't know, I don't know if it's steroids,

but like, it's, dude, to get in that kind of shape, like, it's like, it's like a full-time job, you know? Yeah. That's not like... Or it's the atyna chrome. Yeah. Right. Well, that shit does help, but you still have to like,

like, he works out twice a day, the rock. Like, he, like, if he has a 7 a.m. call, he wakes up like, fucking 3.30 in the morning. He works out. Then he does the shoot. Then he works out, like, like, again later that. He does like a, like, all... It's just, it's, it's, you can't have, like, you can't be a normal person and, um, expect to have that type. So it's un, if you get depressed by that, not. just you in general. Yeah.

Oh, the rock, I'll never be. It's like, yeah, unless you literally quit your job and, like, dedicate your life to,

yeah, there's a zero percent chance. There's no chance, yeah. And that guy, he gets, like, millions of dollars to stay in shape. Like, yeah,

I also don't want to watch a fat superhero. Yeah. Actually, now that I said it, I do. That's the comedy. It's just the comedy, that's not black Adam.

Fat Adam. That's more about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so funny when you just like, if he was a jack superhero you're like, all right,

fat woman superhero though. Yeah. Oh, for sure. It's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lizzo.

McCarthy. Oh, I'd watch Lizzo be a superhero. Hell no. Just set the backtys roll up. I would love that. But the, um, yeah, but the, um, yeah, it's like, that is at the end of the day my problem, though. It's like, because also, first off, I'm, that's my own mental problems.

But also, like, somebody, I think there is a level of mental problem with people. It's not a bad thing. So I think you can have mental problems, but divert it in a good way. So, like, working out the amount that the Rock works out is mentally insane. Like, there's not, I don't think that there's, like, a logical. Yeah. Unless, unless you're him and you're, you know, like you said, getting paid millions. To look like that.

Yeah. That's true, too. But, like, that started somewhere. So, like, you know what I mean? That, of course, yeah. And then he was a wrestler. Yeah. So I think it's sort of, the reason I think he's on steroids now is.

There's zero percent change he's not because he holds. When he was, when he was. He looks way big. He's way bigger than he used to be. Yeah. When he was, when he was in the WWW. and like in his prime, like he was probably as big,

but not as like cut. Now he's 50, whatever, just as big and cut. It's got to be, got to be stare at it. You've seen Brady, right?

Brady looks like a skeleton now. Yeah. I don't know what he's doing. He'll be fine, though. He's going to get those boys in shape. He's not going to retire until he's like 55 now. How old is he now?

He's 45. That's unbelievable. So now that she left him, I mean, like, you know. Now he has to. He can't quit now. I mean, dude,

he was motivated by the drafts, right, getting drafted. late. Now he's motivated by a girl that dumped him, which is like the ultimate motivator for a guy. But if you think about it this way, I don't know, I don't necessarily agree because his whole career he's had her

like that stability. Like this is the one year he doesn't have that kind of... He won the first three rings without her. He doesn't need that. Yeah, but it wasn't like divorce. They're probably dating, you know? No, he, he impregnated another girl before her, so he was with somebody else. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Now, I think he is going to have that I'm going to show you energy. Yeah. Which sort of like, like, look, I liked Donda by Kanye. I think that's motivated by the divorce with him and Kim. Like, I think there are good... Oh, dude. Yeah, when bad shit happens to your life, it does...

An artist or a football... It does motivate you to just fuck. I mean, Zuckerberg, right? You saw the movie where he was like... The whole point of him making Facebook was to... Press that chick. You press that chick that dumped him in the beginning of the movie. Oh, really?

I barely remember. I went to go... One of my first dates was I went with this... It was like a triple day. It was me and two of my friends. and we I remember we showed up to go see social networking It was this girl I met it

We had Catillion So Catillion, there's two kinds of Catillion It's a Catillion where you learn manners And then our like area In Central Florida They had a cotillion where kids from other schools Just got to hang out and do like a dance Before high school

And it was just everybody grinding on people That was like the thing So I like, oh yeah Oh yeah So I met this girl there And we went to go see like the social networking And three minutes in my buddies were like Fuck this, you want to go watch

Jackass 3D. Like, hell, yes. We just completely ditched this girl. Yeah. So I missed the whole movie, I guess. It's also the social network. Not the social networking. Oh, my bad.

My bad. Social networking sounds like a horror movie. Yeah. Hey, how's it going? You work with, uh, I, uh, yeah, I don't know. He's a weird guy to me. That's it. Somebody asked me the day they go, who would you want to get drunk with?

Like, four celebrities or four people who have ever lived. That's pretty good. And one of them would be Zuckerberg because he wouldn't be fun to get drunk with, but he'd be fun to see drunk. You know, there's certain people you're like, you're like, they're so tame that I would love to see this person just annihilated, just to see what's like deep inside their brain.

Because he could be like, man, Facebook's fucking stupid. He's like, I don't know why people bought you. You have no idea what that person is behind the layer. Because like, obviously everybody's like, yeah, I would love to get drunk with like Vince Fawn or something like that, or the rock. But like, you're like, no, it would be really cool to see somebody who's just so tame and boring. Just be a total idiot.

Because, like, there's no way Mark Zuckerberg gets hammered. I mean, maybe. Maybe he gets hammered. And then he's just our regular level. Because he's so intelligent. You wonder what happens because he has to be stupid. But like, I know really smart people and they get drunk. And it seems like no matter what, every drunk person turns to almost the same person where they want to get chicken fingers and act like an idiot and yell really loud.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think it just see that video of Zuckerberg? Sorry. You see that video of him kickboxing? No.

It's like training. He's like kind of nice. Which is like, I don't like that. Like he's good at it? I'd like to at least be like. I could kick Zuckerberg's He's better at everything else But I can still fuck him up

He'd beat my ass too Yeah With your money You could just do shit like that Yeah yeah I'm gonna learn how to kickbox I'm gonna learn how to fuck someone up Or you know

It's like the money's nothing to you Like for us I would love to learn how to kickbox But then you go to some expert Who was like yeah I charge $500 a session You're like yeah you know what I don't know

I'll just kick my kick rocks You know? Yeah yeah I also like I tell myself I'm gonna get muscular And don't know how to fight Because my only thing is like I don't know

how I could defend my girlfriend. Like, in my mind, I'm like, let's dive into this body thing here. Because it was the theme of the movie thing. Now you want to learn how to fight. What's going on? I don't know. Dude, I think I've never thought I was less of a, I don't know why the last couple weeks I've been like, what's going on with me?

Like, could I... Well, it's getting crazy out in the city because I'm starting to... And that's what it is. I had a homeless guy. This was like six months ago about it. A homeless guy spit in my face and I was my girlfriend. I did nothing about it because my... That's hot.

He spit in your face in front of your girlfriend? Yeah. And she didn't, you need to do anything? Well, I was like, what the fuck? And I didn't know what was happening by the time. I was like, did that guy just, by the time you realized, like, did that guy just spit in my face? Well, the biggest fear is like, you never know if they're holding something, like a knife or something. Yeah, so it's like, if I knew that these guys didn't have a, you'd never really know.

But if I knew that, oh my God, I would just, I would beat this shit out of these people for fun, dude. Yeah, right. Like, but that's the one thing when someone like, when someone like on the train goes, like, this happens a lot. Like, when you'll be sitting there and then people like, they'll just like start going like, hey man, what the fuck? like fucking I see we're up fuck you man it's a fucking with me you're just literally on your phone on fucking Instagram like

what and then you want to kind of be like hey man shut the fuck up or I'll slap you and then but you just don't know where next thing you know they got a fucking thing or they're bigger and blacker than you then you can't do anything yeah well the only thing I don't know that doesn't even matter like I mean it's like the rock size but like any just regular like like like someone it's like like yeah home this guy's rock size that would be terrified

yeah He really fucked up. I always have that theory. If homeless guys who are, at least something are just completely ripped. I'm like, dude, film yourself doing crunches and be like, this is how you're going to get crunches. Just label the video. It'll go, you can change your whole life. You have a thing.

You have a thing. You're not useless. You have abs. Well, I also do. They make like a YouTube page, like, fitness page, like, you know, the homeless diet. Yeah. Yeah. They're not eating and doing crunches.

Yeah. But here's the thing I learned about because I, on my podcast, I interviewed a guy who's brother is homeless. and he's like, the thing about the homeless is like, you know, you can't help them because they don't want to be helped. They like that lifestyle of just not doing shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, shitting on the ground, like no one's telling them what to do. Structure, they can't. They literally cannot be structured.

And on, you know, somewhere on crack. But it's like, well, I think they are certain, it depends on what you are. It's like, I think if you don't have a specific mental illness. But if you have, like, schizophrenia, I understand that being like, it's so hard to hold a job down. Yeah. Yeah. Your boss looks like a fucking dragon. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't know how you deal that.

Right, there's insects in your skin. Yeah, yeah, you're like, I don't want to focus on. But the meth thing, like, if you could, I wonder what would happen if, if, like, meth heads, I think you could put some of them in an office setting. Like, like, if you put them in a back room and just said, we need to get this data entered into this computer, smoke meth, we're going to keep you blocked off. And like a cubicle where you can't see them. Like, you could, you could have some productive meth heads. Because I think a lot of people get fired because they're drug addicts from their job. But I think if.

you're doing your job correctly. I'm kind of like, you know what I mean? I guess it's a little liability. You might bite Carol in HR. But like at the same time, it's like, if you get the work done, you need to. Oh, you know, HR. As long as people in HR deserve to get bitten. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You see that Dahmer thing?

No, I didn't watch it. I know little boozy's mad about it, though. What's you got to say about it? He has the argument. He's like, look, the families of the Dahmer victims, they have to watch that on TV. But I'm like, you can't every fucking murder doc. Yeah, and it's also like, it's like, you can't, this thing is so interesting that you can't just be like society can't touch us now.

Because like if you, that means you can't make a documentary about 9-11. It's like everything. It's not a documentary though. It's a TV show. That's where I'm kind of, I'm not to be like a fucking, you know, get out. But it's not, it's not dramatized at all. It's pretty much like, like, if you read the Wikipedia page, you watch the thing, it's literally like verbatim almost. Yeah.

Yeah. I just like, like, there was a scene. I'm not spoiling anything, but it's like. I'm not going to watch it. Yeah. Just because I get very disturbed by. this stuff. It's honestly,

the first few episodes are really fucking tough to watch. It's really like intense. And then it gets really, it kind of just gets really lame. Okay. It's really kind of lame.

Yeah. But so. Does it become about like his relationship with his parents and stuff? No. You never loved me. That's all. I'm tired of that shit.

Like people I see in comment sections like on TikTok, like they post clips from the show. And they're like, oh, if only like his father like did this and stuff. It's like, no fucking sympathy for the thing. this guy just because his fathered and hug him

like fuck that. I think there's different things. So like if you, I think there are certain things that like murder is one of those crimes that is occasionally not justifiable, but like there could be there are certain people where you're like, okay, this guy joined a gang and killed somebody maybe if you had a better upbringing. Right. Then what you learn from it for sure.

Once it gets to like that level though you're like yeah. Yeah, no it's like when people like with Hitler right, they're like oh if only like people liked his art like he would have been like less salty about everything and not done the whole Holocaust. I'm like, I don't know. Did he draw the Jewish propaganda?

You know those images where they're always like... Oh, is that right? Yeah, I wonder if it was him doing this. He's like, pretty good, right? What if that's why he was kicked out of art school? He drew too big and noses on people. They're like, this was not good. There should have been more comedy shows in Germany.

You could have done the flyers. He could have made it. Oh, yeah. He was probably, when he was a normal guy, he was probably hilarious in bars, like just going off on the Jews. He was like, oh, crazy Hitler guy, right? And then he became like that.

They were like, holy fuck, that guy. became the leader, no way. Yeah, well, also the thing I read about, apparently, I was reading about this book, there's this book called, it's a fake book, it was called the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. It was a fake book made in Russia

that was apparently written by Jews about how they're going to control the world. And apparently that book is referenced in a lot of ways that started that giant anti-Semitism movement. Yeah. So it's like, I think there was like other things going on that like,

It's on Kanye's bookshelf right now. Probably. You would hear something great? So I live right next to a synagogue, and I don't know what fucking Jewish holiday just came up. I don't know what the name is. But they've been fucking rage in there for weeks. Oh, really? Weeks.

And it's so, like, they, so they had the synagogue, and they were built, they had some guy, these, these construction people come in and build like this fucking whole tent, right? And then, so it's noise for a week of just construction. Then they come in, and then they're partying for, like, like a week, right? And then they were, I was like, it's like, I remember I came on one night at like 11, 12, and they're fucking partying and they're singing like all these Jewish songs. They're really, they really just sound like yelping.

They're just like, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, there's no, I don't know. I guess maybe that's language, but it just sounds like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, I started, dude, like, people like, you know, rightfully so kind of were. Do they drink, by the way? I've never got an answer to this really, it sounds like they're fucking rage. I don't know if they are drinking, but they're raging. They're dancing, they're fucking screaming. Because I don't think Orthodox Jews, I mean, I...

Maybe you're right. Maybe they're just like... No, no, but I think I think I don't they... I think they can drink. Like, because it's part of the ceremony. Everybody's like, well, just because they're a ceremony doesn't mean they do it. It's like, no, I don't... There's nothing in the Bible. And the Torah is the First Testament of the Bible. I do there's other stuff added to it, maybe. I don't know anything.

But I think there's nothing specifically that says you can't drink. So I think, I don't think Hasid's don't necessarily drink. Like, I get it. You can't be drinking like a for a for a... That would be hilarious. You want to drink a four loco. It's probably not like that. Yeah, no, it's probably more like whatever, wine or... But I don't think...

They're probably not getting hammered either. They're just kind of getting in there a couple of sips in and they're just really hyped up in holidays. Celebrating, you know, some champagne. Right. But there's no part in any... I mean, don't they... Maybe in the Quran... I know Muslims don't drink, but I think the Quran is different because it's like the...

I know for sure Muslim, like... Yeah, they don't... But that's a later book, though. Because, like, Judaism is before Christianity. So it's like Christianity, there's nothing in the Bible says you can't drink. Don't acidic Jews collect their cum tissues? I did not know this. I got to look this out.

Please look it up. I'm very curious. I'm in a hole right now. They're partying, right? Late hours into the night. And I swear I got some person just starts yelling from like their window. Like, like, you mother leaping Jew. Like the most anti-Semitic shit.

Oh shit. Just like, screaming and like telling them like, be quiet. I hate you. Yeah. And I'm just kind of like, I was like, part of me was like, I wanted to say something, but fuck, man. You took it too far.

Now you ruined it for everyone, you know? You made it something like it's not. It's just a noise complaint and now you added race. It's only about the noise. It has nothing to do with them being Jewish. And like they scream at it. And like, it's honestly, like, you know, I think we're good people. We surround ourselves with good people

that are anti-Semitic racers. But then when you see it, you're kind of like, it's almost like seeing like, like a, like a, I don't know, like a deer, you're kind of like, oh my God, that's, that's fucking racist. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit, you know. I also, I do wonder this.

I have a, I have a question of this. So yelling racism things seems like it's more passionate, so it's worse than saying racist things. But I wonder, I was thinking about somebody about it, because I was talking to, like, a black guy about, like, the Mel Gibson thing. And he was saying that he's like, I, he thinks Mel Gibson is more forgivable because of how angry he was, because he doesn't think the anger was based in the race. Because that's a tough question.

So it's like, obviously. both are bad racism. But what's worse being like, I don't like black people, and that's what it is. Or saying, being angry about something else and then saying fucking black people.

I've heard that about the, the Kramer situation. Right, yeah. So it's like, if he came out and apologized after it and was like, I'm so deeply sorry.

Like, you know, I have these thoughts sometimes. Oh. He should have just been like, listen, I was pissed, I fucked up. Like,

it would be like more of just a, it's like manslaughter versus like premeditated murder. Or they have like passion crimes. Yeah. Right, but is the on-paper guy who's just like, I'm racist, less bad because he doesn't have actual passion in it? Is last-minute passion worse than full racist thought but no passion attached? So like we're talking about, okay, guy works in the office, right?

He's a dentist and he just goes, I don't like Asians or black people. That's his point of view. That guy is he worse than a guy who angrily yells the N-word, but in the moment. I think the guy who's not, who you're saying is not passionate has to be passionate. If he, like, truly believes that. No, it's just like, it's like he doesn't think about it. He thinks about it maybe once a day. Most of the time he's thinking about teeth.

He's thinking about putting braces on people. So is he really racist then, though? Yeah, because he thinks that he's superior to those other races. He doesn't like the other two races. Does he act on it? No. If he doesn't act on it, never talks about it, then that's not. Sometimes you can say things in the moment that you don't, you might have an inkling of,

but you don't, you're not necessarily that passionate. about because you're trying to either win an argument or you're trying to get your point across or you're just so angry you're just trying to go for like low hanging fruit to hurt someone yeah like if somebody with blue hair like got in a fight with it I'm like you blue hair piece of shit but I'm like actually I have nothing against people blue hair that's just yeah yeah but it's more calm and premeditated you know it's like I've given some thought and I'm not a big fan of those people he's like you're just like oh you know as opposed to just like like you like you said just screen like when someone like you know steps on it runs over your foot and you go and then you see it's a whatever Asian guy you fucking bought, you know what I mean? Yeah, but it is tough because I'm like, in some ways the lack of passion is better because the guy's like,

look, I think my thoughts are incorrect, but my passion about it's minimal compared to my passion is heavy, but my thoughts about it are incorrect. You know what I mean? Because like the guy who gets his foot run over isn't in deep thought about racism.

I think when people get mad and say things out of passion, a lot of times, like I said, they're going for like whatever like there are a lot of times where like I'm walking on the train and someone bumps into me and they're a little overweight and I'm like you fat fuck yeah yeah but you have nothing against bad people no I don't it's just whatever but it's just like you just want to be like I want to hurt you with the thing that I see you know or someone's got like skinny jeans on it's like you fucking hipster piece of shit yeah I get that

too if I'll be mad and a lot of it's like self stuff but like hipsters all randomly just hate them for no reason but I think it comes down to him like I think that guy would hate me so and I think that's how a lot of like uh That is bigotry in a way. It's not as bad. It's like hating hibsters just because their hipsters is bigotry because you're hating them just because of what they are. Well, people go always like, you know, I mean, so you hear white boy all the time.

I mean, that's kind of the same thing in a way, right? Yeah, yeah, I just there's less. Fucking white boy and then everyone's like, yeah. You know, no one's like, oh, dear, it's a premeditated. Yeah. It's a fashion, you know? But I think that's also one, too, where it doesn't offend me because I'm like, uh, I think there's less, I think the reason that, uh, white people,

The reason racing against white people isn't as bad. In theory, it's just as bad as racing against other people, but because there's more white people, we're less in threat. So there's more of us to speak up. Like, everybody's like, there's all these white people that are like, man, the other races are going to take over. You know what I mean? There's like really race guys.

It's like, that's never going to happen. That's a really weird thing when people are like, oh, we're slowly losing our grip on things. Right. It's always somebody who's not doing shit. It's like, you work at fucking. Yeah. There's a lot of right-wing, like, grifters like that are, like, getting pretty

popular and it's the whole like white victimhood thing and it's like I I get the stuff where it's like oh hard to be a white guy in show business now just because you know they nobody nobody wants them you have to like stand out yeah like when you start doing the like oh we're we're we're fucked like you know we're like a press now you know what yeah that then it's like all right well that's in that same oh adam I didn't want you're not going to think that like a lot of times when I see like uh you know everyone's like oh you know white people have it tough on TV or whatever like, like, straight guys or whatever are like, it's like, and when I do see them get on TV, a lot of times it's just like, they do stuff where they're talking about, oh, like,

whatever they are and kind of like, oh, so ashamed, so shameful, you know. Yeah, that's sad to the white guys. Like, I know him the worst. Yeah. Yeah, white guy. Do you really think that? It's okay. And then I'm kind of like, all right.

But it's like, like, in a weird way, it's like, I think comedians see something, see things differently. I think most people are just, I think it's hilarious. They literally think it's hilarious. What is? The general population, like, we, like, we are in, like, the minority of where we think, like, oh, that's corny or that's, like, come on, like, you really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, the general population, like, they think that's fucking hilarious.

Oh, yeah, probably. Like, late night TV and some aspects of SNL. Yeah, yeah. Just general middle America household. They think that shit's hilarious. That's why we're like a comic club. It could be better. You know.

What's when you say that at a comedy club, I always get to laugh. It's never like, if you did it in front of a bunch of comedians, they'd be like, all right, dick face, you know? Yeah, yeah. But also if your stuff blends in, that's always the concern about hacking comics. Everybody goes, oh, well, look, that person's getting all these laps in the show. I'm like, yeah, but if you're not differentiating yourself, you're not, you have no longevity. It's like, yeah, sure, in the room, this might be great. But nobody's going to be drawn to you in a long-term way because they're like, oh, this person's just, I mean, in some ways, yes, you might have a career as like a late-night show.

Because I was talking about this. Yeah. People hate Jimmy Fallon because he's so just like whatever. But I like him because I'm like, he's doing his job perfectly. His job is not to be wildly something else. It's getting all these views and some people are watching. It's not like they would ever put him on TV if no one fucking liked it. Yeah, he's digestible.

I don't want to listen to Tim Dillon at 8 a.m. You know what I mean? Like I like, I'd rather listen to Tim Dillon than Jimmy Fallon. But at the same time, it's like everybody serves their purpose in the entertainment industry. Some people are, I'm smoking a cigarette or drinking a beer. I want to hear this crazy thought. And then some people are like, oh, I'd rather, I want to hear this guy pet a dog and make, you know, corny jokes. Because that's just, it's palpable.

And it's what I want to watch right now. Yeah, a lot of it, too, it's like, and then, you know, a lot of times I'll see these guys when they're interviewing celebrities. That's really all the only time I see them. And I don't know, there's really not many where I'm like, oh, I want to hear their, like, their take, you know. Yeah, yeah. It's usually, I just usually watch it. I don't really like any of the late night. No, I don't either.

But it's something like, if I'm like, if I'm like. I'm in the back of the cab. It'll be, like, relaxing to watch. Because I'm like, you, you leave that shit on? I turn that shit off. Really? I'll like it. I don't like it.

How do you turn it? Oh, there's a button. Yeah. I turn it. I hate James Gordon with a deep passion. Oh, he got kicked out of arrest. I know. I'm not surprised.

Apparently, he's a, he's a prick. Oh, for sure. He's so nice on the show. Like, he's the one guy. I'm like, he looks like a fucking delight. Oh, I've never got. For some reason, I think he's a cunt. But I'm also, I'm one of those guys that.

Oh, you hate British? I hate British people. Really? I like Cockney, British guys. They're like, I eat drinks and beers. I like that because I get very, uh, this is, go back to the insecurity thing. When somebody is true proper, I think they're talking down to me. I'm like that, like, Boston guy's like, you think you smarter than me, him?

Oh, but I do feel like British people just, they do that. They just look at us, like, stupid American. Some of them. But then if you see, like, a British guy, like, I had Kyle Legacy on, he's fucking hilarious. He's a comic. But it's like, he doesn't have that, uh, I. I think posh is what bothers me. Like, posh British is like our, their equivalency to like a vineyard vines guy.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, because every, every country has their equivalency of the guy who thinks he's better than everybody. So like that's the Patagonia. I mean, I wear a Patagonia, but like the Patagonia vest, you know, like the finance bro look. Yes. That's just their version of that. So I'm like, that's why I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that either.

But it's not because like I hate them. It's like, it's not, it doesn't seem like fun. It seems so like buttoned up. And like, it's like, I always make this joke like with like, Like some woman that are so pretty and perfect looking. It's just like, can I even like touch you? Are you going to explode? Yeah, yeah.

So put together and like everything's so like like like you're just like waiting for things to be like like given to you. Like like it's just like really it's oddly intimidating. It's like like what if we have to run or you know, what if we have? Yeah. What if I want to have fun, you know what I mean? It's just like. No, I get the. I also feel that way with porn.

It's not as the porn talk is too perfect. I'm like, this is just weird. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But some guys, some guys, um, that's, that's all they're into. Yeah, just like perfect busty or like the girl who's like literally looks like, like, um, just perfect and like Barbie dolls, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But for me, I like someone that like, um, I don't know, like, you know, like, you know what's weirdly hot to me?

It was a lazy eye. I don't know why. When I see a lazy eye sometimes, I'm like, ooh, that's the Florida. Yeah. Yeah. So we're screw up around that. There's a certain thing the occasion to see a girl lazy eye,

you're like, oh, she's kind of hot because she has a lazy eye. I can't overlook a lazy eye, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not a deal for a girl. I don't know.

For me, I don't mind you. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't, doesn't... I don't... So you guys are talking about, like, not like in, you know, girls are two put together.

I agree with that. I also have been feeling a weird trend with me where there's so much dirty, just filthy shit out there. My TikTok feed, it's just like thought after thought. Oh, yeah.

Well, because I'm not even getting, my, my Instagram feed isn't even that bad. Okay. But it's just because I purposely don't want my girlfriend looking over my shoulder and there's just,

sure. No, I can't go through my social media feeds without my girlfriend getting disgusted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, what the fuck is? It's just like a girl and, like, you know, it goes to the gym

with like a fat ass. They're insane. There's this one page where it's like, it's the same joke. it's, I don't know why this one, this used to be a meme page and it's turned into just whores. I don't know when this happened, but it was like, it was funny memes and I followed it.

It's at least my alibi, but it's just a meme page. And then there's this trend of girls and thongs saying when you're out of it's like, when you're out of money but your boyfriend wants to eat and they just put their ass on the camera or something like that. But it's literally a thong and an asshole, it's like a moon getting cut in half. Like you can see their asshole

just align in it. I'm like, how is this allowed but then I say penis on TikTok? They're like the video completely taken off. With all this dirty shit, what I'm saying is like, I'm like kind of getting turned on by the wholesome stuff now. Like my girl went to,

uh, fuck, where'd she go? Uh, Jackson Hole, Wyoming. And she sent me a video of her on a horse. She was wearing like,

denim shit. I got so bricked up. I'm like, I'm ready to, I'm ready to impregnate her and fucking move out west. Really? I don't know.

I don't know. No, I see you were saying, but it's like, it's not, it's like, I think at the end, like,

I think once you let's, someone in. I think everyone's dirty and kinky and all that stuff. But it's like, it's when you like don't know them and you see them in public or you try to talk to them and you're just like, it's just like, why does it feel like, it just feels like your job interview? No, no, for sure, for sure. Yeah, some people

are too, but yeah, I do agree with it. Right, right. It's almost a little bit of insecurity. Because like, everybody's buttoned up and boring, you know, as opposed to just not. Because I see, I think there was also like a New England thing where I see like a New England looking girl and that's so unattracted of me. because I'm like you look, like, there's some sort of like Cape Cod

look that I'm like, it's kind of gross. Maybe because it's my mom's from Cape Cod. I'm like, ugh, that's a gross. I know, it's kind of that like, I mean, they'll, they'll, in terms of looks, they'll be sexy, but then they're, they're demeanor. They have a very northeast kind of like,

yeah, a vibe to them, you know, and it's kind of very, but butch, you know. Yeah, and there is a southern equivalents that. There's too much like a southern girl that's like too, because I'm not at the southern 20, like some people, oh, yeah. I don't, I don't, Southern thing.

Twain and like the Jessica and Simpson and Dukes of Hazard. I mean, she's very hot, but like, I don't know, like, that, I don't know, that doesn't really do it for me. Yeah, I don't get that one either. See, I get the Daisy Dukes thing because, like, I think growing up, I was attracted to trashiness because the girls around me were very classy. So, like, they would wear, like, what's that fucking Lily Polter stuff? And I'm like, that's gross to me because all the girls around me wore that.

But then you see some girl who's, like, dressed, like, insane. And I'm like, oh, that's hot now. because it's different than what I'm around, if that makes any sense. So, like, there is that redneck look that I'm like, oh, that's kind of hot because that girl looks like shit about anything. I grew up in the Jersey Shore, and everyone was like super tan, had a poof, you know?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Big boobs, like jeans, I'm gonna ask you. How'd you do with those types of girls, like with them being attracted? Because I was like, I went anytime on the Jersey Shore because I'm not like an Italian, typical Italian guy, they look at me like, what the fuck is? What am I looking at it? Well, they only, no, they only do that because that's, that's what they're going for.

Yeah. Like Jersey Shore type of guys. Right. Right. Yeah. So that's not even like, that was never in my class. Like I get, I get, you know, in a relationship. But I do find that, I find that attractive because growing up that's like all, like, all, like, to be hot, that's what all the girl.

Like just, just Jersey Shore J-Wile replicas. That's what the old girls did. Well, that's the thing too is sometimes those girls will go out of their zone, though. Occasionally she's like a really trashy girl, bang a really preppy guy. And I'm like, oh, sometimes people are like, let me try something totally different. Oh, yeah. Dude, my, my, um, my girlfriend's sister, like, is literally into, like, nerds. Like, one time she's- Yeah, that's the thing.

People act like that's not. Everybody's like, every girl likes a super muscular guy. It's like, nah, dude, there are girls that just like banging nerds. I mean, I mean, like, I think right now, like, I think, like, 10 years ago, like, especially when I was in school, being jacked there in Jersey, being jacked and, like, ripped and, like, fucking strong was, was in. Now it's, like, one, I don't think a lot of, especially in New York and, like, these tech places like New York's the only place

I go into a bar and I'm like I could fight multiple dudes here like Florida it was the opposite because I'm like these are tough dude but that's not even a thing now like that's like that's not the priority for dudes like it used to be like getting jacked getting chicks now it's just like oh I'm gonna look like I have

you know money and like yeah you know kind of Bitcoin or whatever to fuck have a vest you know yeah I kind of I think girls are because I hear girls complain all the time like where are the muscle where are the guy where are you? Where are your Who's that one girl?

I don't know if you know but she's in the city She's a joke Where's like Where are the fucking abs dudes Like you know Guys complain about girls Where are the

Where are the fucking six packs Motherfuckers? Yeah I'm just like It's kind of refreshing I'm like Yeah Yeah yeah

Yeah Fucking nerds What's going on here? Yeah No And I think that way too When I'm like When I'm around

A bunch of I'm at a bar And let's say The guys are You know bigger And stuff I'm like Why if I was a girl

I'd fuck Yeah Yeah I would fuck me Dude I do it I'm tiny. There was a dude to my fraternity have like abs and everything

I'd be like, isn't he hot? Occasionally girls be like, ew. I'm like, really? No, they're awful. They all go, you because,

you know, a look like that reads like, it just says, like, to them, it's like comes across as like, confident, unobtainable, gonna fuck every other girl.

Sometimes though, they're, they're, their insecurity. Everyone wants to fucking do this, my girlfriend said that to me when we first started dating and then like,

I let myself go for a little bit and she goes like, yeah, could you just be a little conscious of what I'm in, to? I'm like, whoa, like, she'd be a fat fuck and to lose weight. And I'm like, oh, like, every girl likes fucking, uh, it's like, it's like, it's like when you see a girl with big tits, big ass and like this, the flat stomach and everything.

It's like every, it's just like, yeah, that's just what we're programmed to be into. I agree, but I'm saying sometimes that guy who's yoked is really awkward. And I think a guy with confidence who's not as yoked might be more appealing than a guy who's yoked. Yeah, I mean, they don't, they don't, we all know. They don't value physical stuff as much as we're. Yeah, yeah. But I remember ultimately what it comes down.

When I was in college, there was this kid who, um, gorgeous, gorgeous, man. He played soccer. He was like, Christiana La Ronaldo. Yeah, yeah. Ripped and fucking good looking. But fucking, like, literally dumb as a fucking nail, dude. Yeah, girls do not care about intelligence. No.

And girls love, like, there was one girl who was very smart. I don't think any of it is. I don't think guys care about intelligence either, really, though. Uh, I think after, I think after a while we might. I think the guys are into, like, the. tired of sleeping with the same person, ultimately. Not as, no, no, no, not as, I gotta take myself out of a- Not my girlfriend.

Not everybody's like my-ha. You're just not as enthused as like the first couple weeks. You guys start fucking. Anyone, anyone can admit that. If you don't, you lie. Well, you know, I, I remember I had like a resurgence of, like, I guess, I don't even want to call it, but like, horniness for my girlfriend. No, that'll happen to do, yeah.

Yeah, well, it was when we kind of like, I remember we had, like, I think we had some argument, but it ended up working out where we were kind of like, like, like, trust, like, oh, like, that's right. It's like, I'm in like, we're in love and like trust and like you know you hit those kind of things where you kind of like you take it to the next level. In terms of like the relationship, it's just like you can trust me with anything. You know, it's just like I am like, you know, we're family. Like you kind of

realizing and like it's said and then for some reason it's like that kind of like bond for me at least. It's like that turned me on for a little bit and then you know you get used to it no yeah I kind of get that too yeah there are certain things that like you also get better at fucking that person so you get

yeah you start learning yeah no no for sure for sure but what I'm saying is like we don't care after after a hundred times being told you're like oh I do that right yeah yeah yeah yeah that's like we don't care about the

intelligent thing like at first but because we eventually like not get tired of sleeping with the same person but like it's not just the infatuation thing there's other factors that we talked about. That's where the intelligence

and like wanting to be around that person matters. Yeah, that makes that, yeah. But I think initially we don't give a fuck. No, yeah, some guys don't care about that,

though. I know guys that don't care about. I think because they're empty, though. There's like couples where you're like, what do they talk about? Well, they got a lot of,

like, these guys I'm thinking about they have a lot of friends and they have like a pretty good social life. Yeah. And then so I think, so the girlfriend's like literally just a fuck thing. They're like,

I just fuck this person. Well, it's their support system. Yeah, their wife and their fuck and they're like whatever uh person who cooks like but it's and it's not even like it's all it's like i'm starting to realize in life like everyone's really different that's why a lot of times relationships don't work out because you're just not right for the other person like yeah even if you've been dating for a while you just kind of start learning like oh

this isn't this isn't really work you know so i think like like a guy that you know like someone that's dating me might be like i need you home all the fucking time or i feel like you you don't want to be with me. But I got to be on the road. But my girlfriend's like, I understand you have to work all the time. And like when you're gone, as long as you call me

and it's like I still feel like you're there. Yeah. Some people just, like, there are people that could not be with me because I'm working all the time. You know, I put, sometimes I put comedy over them, you know.

Yeah. Well, I think it's also like, yeah, I had issues with my girlfriend. It's just getting deep. Yeah. Started with,

sorry, what was the first thing we talked about? I have no idea. I got to remember this point. I got really, uh, oh, it's up about Asians are boring. Asians aren't boring. We're killing it, right? Yeah, yeah. I was joking. There are plenty of charismatic. It's because the other half gives us some charisma. No, no, no, there are Asians with charisma. Yeah. Name three. Jackie Chan. He's also just the first Asian, no matter what people ask. Jackie Chan, Jet Lee, Bruce Lee. Don, yeah, there we go.

Just the three most popular agents. Um, but, uh, yeah, no, we're, we're dealing with that thing now. we're like, we got any arguments about not spending enough time together. And then now that I don't work, she's like, you spend way too much time with me. Not, not like way too much, but it's like, I'm going to see Captain, uh, we're not Captain America, but fucking, uh, Shazam and then I'm like eating ice cream.

And like, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, we, we need a little tough. Because I don't you need time of yourself. That's the one thing. Like, sometimes like, I remember during the pandemic. My girlfriend was, was she got like, a emergency person, necessary person at her work. So she was going to work. And, you know, this is when COVID was

bad, had no, no, nothing going on. And, like, whenever she would be like, she would text me and she was coming home, I would just purposely just put pants on and stuff. Yeah. And pretend like I was working on my laptop. I'll do that with my girlfriend. I'll pretend like I'm writing. I'm really just like going through paint.

Well, dude, when you're gone all day and they come home and then you're hearing your underwear and with like a bowl of cereal next to you, you look like, you just look pathetic. Yeah. But even if you're like, I swear to God all day, right before this moment, I've been working. They're just, they just come home and they just like, ugh, you know. Oh yeah, she's on conference calls I'll go to the bathroom and jerk it I gotta pretend like I'm taking a shit

Yeah It's a whole thing Yeah I can't jerk in the bath Dude every time I Would you sit in the toilet Are you standing in the shower? I sit on the toilet

Or actually someone I started standing coming into the toilet I can't do the stand In the shower thing It's just not I can't sit on the fucking I swear to God dude My ass she expects

I got a shit Like I'll not have to shit All day or And then I'll get horny And then I'll send the toilet And then you just That's what the toilet's

They spread your butt cheeks open. So I'm just like, I'm like horny. Now I got a shit. And then I'm like, my boners gone. I'm like, oh.

I think I just got so used to it. The weirdest one I did. I like the feeling when it's coming out, you know? I genuinely not even keep this. No one likes that. The most disgusting thing is I used to pretend to shit. So I'd take a shit,

jerk off, then flush it all down. That's a bad combo. Oh, it's disgusting. Yeah. That's, you're gonna like create COVID.

Yeah. And who just, I feel like that's just combo. You leave it overnight. It just becomes a living thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like a gremlin. Yeah, dude, I...

A shit embryo. Yeah, yeah. The crazy is what I did is, uh, so I have, I have a horrible time sleeping. Next week, I'm just, I'm not gonna drink. So where, there's a bar here? Because you remember you told me there's a bar where you, that's always popping around here? Oh, it's insane. It is the loudest bar in America.

And the owner, every time I go, hey, you turn down, he goes, he's Hungarian. He goes, yeah, these DJs are so loud. I tell them, and then I go down there and he's DJing every fucking night. That's the classic thing you do. It's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, you turn down down. whenever it's not about, it's not your fault. Yeah, yeah, of course. You just pass the blame.

It's so funny because, actually, I can't hold the story. But you just, you just pass the blame over to someone else, you know? Oh, yeah. It's wild. It's like, I have to take drugs to go to sleep because I live above a bar. I'm planning on, look, it's not a great way to live. Like, it's, it's bad, it's not sustainable, but we're moving out November 30th. This is, this is, this is, the way you made it sound like, I thought it was, like, literally, like, on top of that KFC on 14th and first.

Oh, yeah, but. or what do you mean that part it's worse I'm telling you so you can't see that room is directly above the bar so when it vibrates I'm literally telling you until 4 a.m the whole entire room will shape yeah this isn't as bad as I thought

but you were making it I thought it was like in terms of like the interior and stuff this is why like I'm happy I'd never move down here and I just stayed in the Upper West Side yeah because it's so much more residential dude and I feel so like it just feels more homely like if people were fucking drunk every night outside

and like, even walking up here, all these fucking people are going out day drinking, which is not a problem. I love day drinking. But living above, it's literally insanity. I don't want to live in a, like, I'm guessing again, an old because I used to want to do this.

I used to want to live in frat houses all the time. But like, it's just like, like, get your shit together. I'll tell them thinking. These damn kids are stupid. Yeah, I'm literally thinking that. I walk up the stairs, like, oh, God damn it. Well, these village is so weird.

It's like, it's like Hampton's kind of white, preppy kids. No, that's all college kids. And then, and then home. Yeah, yeah. It's a weird. It's such a mix of that. Oh, there's a guy that every day. There's different guys. There's screaming different shit out the window. But the other night, so I have to, I literally have to take drugs and go sleep. So it's like, my schedule is Sunday night, I smoke pot and take a melatonin. Monday, I smoke pot and take a melatonin. It's not really like a big issue. Does it work?

For those nights, yes. Oh, okay. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I either take a NyQuil, a Kalanapin, or an ambient. And it's like there's Or drink. You gotta move out, dude. Yeah, that's what I'm planning.

But the other night it was bad because I took a, I took a colonopin, which is like an anti-exiety medicine that helps you sleep. And then I'm drinking and I'm not, because I can't fall asleep. I'm literally,

I have a job interview the next day. And I have to drug myself to go to sleep. And then I end up going off on the superintendent, who doesn't even own the building. I'm like blackmailing him because my brain is fucked up because I'm on like drugs.

So I'm texting, I'm going, we have rubber all over our windows right now because it's so loud. and they're showing our apartment. I'm like, look, I'm not going to take that rubber off until you get that bar to quiet down.

So everybody that comes to his apartment is going to know how fucking loud this place is. You sound like an adult. That's what you sound like. Yeah, until that. This is unacceptable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You keep it down. Last day I slept because I took Ambien, but it's like, I should not be doing those drugs at 25 years. That's an old person drug. Yeah. One incredible thing, though, jerking off on Ambien is the most fun.

Because what it is, is if you stay awake on Ambien, you're lucid dreaming. So like you're literally your your brain is asleep, but you're alert in it. So if you're jerking off, you let whatever fantasy you're in, you're in that. So like I was in my buddy's house because I had to sleep on an air mattress. I was like, okay, I'm going to take an ambient. And then I go to jerk off in the bathroom.

And it's maybe I was just in his kitchen show. Hopefully I was not like doing something insane. But you can, you can like be in both worlds. But that's why next week, if I quit coffee, I could sleep fine without anything. So it's like next week, I'm just not going to be productive. And I'm like, I'd rather reset my sleep schedule instead of. having to do this like crazy routine. Yeah.

Because it's like that's... I thought like after... I don't know what the... Isn't there like a noise ordinance in like residential areas where you can't be too loud after 10 p.m. or something? I don't know how to measure that though. Yeah, I don't know. There is something.

Because I've had that where if I had parties in my apartment and the cops be like, it's after 10 p.m. You can do anything until I'm like... Okay. But then like you go around the city and it's like, but people, you know, it's always crazy. Have you called like 3-1-1? No, because I'm trying to negotiate it myself. I'm trying to be like, hey, man,

you turned down and he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then just never turns it down. But also, I don't know, there's an app you can download for sound frequencies, but what am I going to be like, hey, you're above 1.22 gigawatts. Like, you're not supposed to be doing that. Yeah, the best thing to do is, like, it just depends in your lifestyle. But I have three more weeks, basically. Well, you have a girlfriend. I don't know if

you're blacking out all the time. Like, if you're blacking out all the time here, and, like, that's just the purpose. This is a place for you to live. But if you're, like, trying to get your shit together. If you're, you've got to get out there. If you're totally sober, there's zero percent chance you can live in this apartment. Like, just as possible. You have to live where I, kind of where I live.

Yeah, it's like, it's like, that's why it's gonna be hard for them selling it because I'm like, you're gonna sell it to a piece of shit. Like, that's just who it is. Like, I don't know who else wants to live above a bar, but they're out of their mind. Like, yeah. And you think you can handle everybody's like, I think I can't. Probably be a group of girls here who like to go out and, you know,

if you're like an NYU student, this would be the shit. Because like in college, I would go out I'll be great. Five days a week. Yeah. I would take off Wednesday or Thursdays Sundays and that was it. If you hear people part of the outside, you don't go, fuck, I got to wake up. You go, fuck, let's go. Yeah, you're excited.

Which part of me wanted to just start doing that. Part of me was like, you know, I'm just going to go hang out that bar every night. And I don't have a job, but it's like, I go back and forth between I don't have a job. Let me celebrate not having a job to. I need to get a job. Dude, I think I told you, like, I've never had an interview, like a second interview. I've never had retail jobs, like minimum wage. I've never had a thing

where... What age were you started comedy? 21. Okay. That's like, I mean, I started when I was 20. So how did you, did you just,

like, how did you jump from the payment thing? Like, I just, I, so when I graduated, um, I lived to my parents for like two,

three more years. Yeah, yeah, I just, I, like, I was like emceeing and shit. And then I got to the point where I was like making like,

maybe like, maybe a thousand dollars a month. Yeah. Yeah. So I just got a place for like $700 in the city. And I literally, like, I remember like I would eat, I would just drink protein shakes all day. That's wild. That's all I could afford.

And then, like, trail mix. And then I would just try to make $1,000 a month to pay my rent. Yeah. I mean, 700 to pay my rent. That's all I was doing. That's all my whole life. I know it was. That's the grind.

That's awesome. But I mean, it was just, and this is why my girlfriend is like great. It's because like, I bought a lot of girls there and all them except for my girlfriend. I'm like, never called me. I mean, there was another girl that. call me again, but it was also no second interview for that either. No, not a lot of seconds.

I've had callback auditions, but I've never had a thing, like, my girlfriend's like, yeah, so part one and then part two and then part three, and then if I'm like, fuck, even one, I remember going on job interviews for like Foot Locker and I was stressed out. You get a fucking suit on. Asking you all, you do in a group setting. You're like, as, uh, orgy, I don't know. I feel like they're as hard as comedy.

Like those types of interviews where you have just like lie and like act like you know what the fuck you're talking about. Like it's, it's horrible. Well, sometimes you have to really, I couldn't, I couldn't imagine.

Dude, it's like I, you two, I give you guys so much more credit like, like, then, oh, it's hard.

Yeah. Well, that's one of the hard things too because like I, some people start comedy and they're 25 and they're always like, oh, man, if I'm only I started when I was 20, I was like, yes and no.

So the part that's good is that you started comedy earlier. But the part that's bad is those people that start 25 have a, have a full-time job already, their income set and they have some sort of savings. I have like zero. I sold my car, so I have a little bit of savings. Yeah. But for the most part, it's like, no, I don't have.

Yeah, I had about, I want to say 40 grand in the bank when I started. Oh, sweet, yeah. Yeah, and then I moved and like, it went. Well, because staying home saves so much money. I know. Because if I spend at least $1,000 a month, that's $12,000 a year times through, that's like $40, that's almost $40,000 just from three years of living in New York City. Yeah, and the thing is like, especially during COVID,

Like my parents, like, you just come home and, like, I can't go home now. Even, like, even, I would save so much money. Yeah. I don't have so much more money. I just can't. It's a quality of life thing for me. It's like, I need to be out of my parents. Like, I don't, like, it's not I hate them.

It's like, I need to be, um, doing my own thing, like, mentally. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, yeah, it's, uh, you feel like a piece of shit. Yeah, it's just not, I think you're coming home. And then for some reason, it's like, you know, I'll be out living here in New York. My mom won't ever text me. And then, and then, it's just not. when I'm home, every fucking two hours he's

texted me when I'm leaving. Yeah, when I'm out. Like, when you're coming home, where you going? What's this? Pick up this. Pick up that. I'm like, you don't, so you only care when I'm, like, I'm alive when I'm home. But then if I'm out in New York or whatever, then, okay.

You don't give a shit. Okay. That makes a lot of time. My parents are the opposite. If I don't text my parents for three days, because I'm a wild person, they think I'm dead, like all the time. They're like, yeah, I guess he, uh, is he, uh, is he, overdosed? I, I think by, you've been arrested? Never once in my life. Wow.

Have you been arrested? No, no, no. But I feel like you have like a, just like a, you know, a light drunk arrest. No, he's gotten away with everything. He's probably gotten close. Oh, yeah. Do we get handcuffed and like, like, ah, get out of here. I have a like of.

Yeah, yeah. I've been detained, like, probably like. That's such a white thing. I've been detained. Yeah, that is a very white thing. It's like, yeah, I've been detained. Right. Yeah.

Just don't let me see you here again tonight, all right? Yeah. We have loved the cops. Yeah. They're so cool. We, we, we, I think, we, we, I think, none of us could drive. I think we were like 14 or 15th. We were like freshman in high school or sophomores. I think we're probably 15. We're like sophomores. None of us had driver's license. One of our friends was like an older friend and he was like, I think he was like 17 and he's like, yo, I'm gonna leave my car at your house. Here are the keys, you know, whatever. And then my one friend's like, yo, let's fucking drive the car ride. So he's just hammered. We're blasting music. And I'm, look, I'm one of those guys, I'm like, I'm wild, but out of my friend group, I was like, guys, this is how people die. All the time I pick. This is. This is.

is how we should not do this. I was like the voice of reason in the friend group. And we drive up and we're literally just like in the middle of a street just boozing a ton in this guy's car blasting music. And one of my friends he goes into the porta potty and as he's in the porta potty we get detained by a police officer.

So he doesn't know if he should come out or not. And he has an NWA shirt which is hilarious. Because it's like we're going to pull him by the police. And the guy pulls us out of the car. He's like, he is like at a really thick Mexican accent. I'm whatever. I'll get canceled. But he goes, he goes, look, you guys are driving

here and he goes, I don't know if I smell either cheap cologne or alcohol. I'm going to go with cheap cologne, but maybe it's alcohol. We'll check the car. They check the car. It's really good. That sounds like a Mexican like cop too. I love that too. That like it could be this. It could be that. Let's go with that. Yeah. And then there's a

bottle of there's a bottle of wine in the car and we're like, no, that is there. And then he's like, He's like, they say they're in theirs. I say he's not theirs.

It's like he was the coolest guy ever and then he called everybody's parents. My favorite was the, I think I cried that night. I was like, man, I could have gone to jail. And now I'm like, who cares?

I was like, nothing happened. And then I've had a couple other ones. I've had, we used to... Can I do one real quick? Oh, you 100%. There was one time,

my friends I used to go, we used to do mailbox baseball. Oh, shit. So we take the bat, you know, you know what it is, right? I know what it is.

Brooklyn, no. Oh, so. Yeah, yeah. end in the street and then the guy, the mail, USPS wherever comes, they put the mail. So mailbox baseball is when you would drive around and you would hang out with a baseball bat, you would just fucking just

demolish the mailboxes. Yeah, yeah. So we were playing this and just fucking 10, 20, just destroying mailboxes all around fucking New Jersey. And we get pulled over by the cops and they literally go, yeah, we've been getting like,

we've been hearing about some people destroying mailboxes around here. And we're just like, We have no idea. We don't know officer. It's crazy. You know, hooligans, these people,

the kids, you know. And then he'll, can you pop the trunk and see, you know, the bat's in the trunk. So he pop,

we pop, and we're all just like, oh, this is, we're fucked. He pops it, and he sees the bat, and he just,

nothing. Damn. There's nothing about it. And he's just fucking, all right, get home, you just go home, like, get the fuck home or whatever,

you know, and he just left. And he's like, he totally, like, knew as you guys. He did, oh, how, who, who, what else? Sure, sure.

It's like, two plus two equals four, he goes, not today, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was the craziest thing. Yeah. Maybe, maybe he was just like, this is going to be a whole thing. It's not going to change the fact that the mailboxes were already smashed. Well, you know, they're not going to do it now that I caught him. They're going to be so nervous and feel lucky.

Fuck it just ended up. Why, I remember, too, he goes, because he said that. And then he goes, what's the baseball bat? What happened? And it was a wooden bat. It was my wooden bat. And it broke in half because we, it's, smash the call.

Some of them go right down, but some of them are like steel and you hit them and your hands fucking... Yeah, I heard it hurts. It really hurt. Yeah, it depends on which kind of mailbox is. It's the worst. So the bat broken half,

and there was a broken half baseball, and then he was like, why is his bat? What's his baseball about? Why is it broken? And then... Oh, that's so obvious. Yeah.

And then we were just like, oh, you know, we were playing baseball and the broken bat, you know, my boy, you threw a curbel inside. I hit the fucking hands, you know, right in the middle of the barrel. And he's like, okay, okay. all right well you boys uh

get home safe right damn yeah there's no way he didn't know I know I know that's crazy I always hear too like I don't know if there's a room but like you know he's like oh fucking paperwork Is that a thing you think they're just like I don't know because all my friends that are black Who've been detained get arrested

Like it's like they love that paperwork Yeah yeah it is like it is like a one to one It's like I have friends who did similar things And they're black and they absolutely got I know yeah yeah But the other One of the craziest one I had so it was funny that one talking about with my

my friend because he, when he came out, the cops was like, are you with these guys? And he was like, uh, he,

I remember pausing, he was like, yeah, but he was like, he could have easily been like, I was just peeing in this port party. I don't know who these kids are. Like,

he could have gone away fine. Yeah. But the crazy one I got detained in Spain when I was 14. Oh, so when I was 14, I stayed with this guy who was 16. And I didn't know the language.

So I would just smoke pot, get drunk, do all kinds of stuff. And we, this is the craziest thing. We left this bar to smoke a joint. And the second we smoked a car, the joint, but he threw the joint on the ground and, like, kicked it.

And because a police van droat was driving up, which it was the craziest thing I've ever seen. I didn't speak Spanish, so I didn't know what was going on. And it was a van of, like, three cops. I don't know why they were in a van. It looked like a SWAT fan or something. Oh, that looked like it literally was like a SWAT fan

that was on the way to do something. Or they were off duty and they saw it. So like, all right, let's fucking bust these kids for pot. And this is the most insane thing I've seen in my life. My buddy had his weed and he kept it behind his fingers. Like he had like a dime bag and he kept it like a magic trick. Like you know how you hide the coin? Yeah.

He did that. I swear to God, they search his waistband, his boxers. And he has his hands in the eight. He goes to scratch the back of his boxers, drops it behind his back into the waistband after they searched the waistband. It was the craziest thing I've seen in my life. Oh, wow. They were going to, like, searches.

Damn. When they go to, like, I don't know if they're going to search his feet or the next person, but literally dropped it, like, behind his back into his waistband while there was a cop, like, searching him or the guy next to him. And I was like, that was the most insane thing I've seen in my life. That's gangster right there. And I think, like, the one person got a write up, but nobody else said, I'm like, that's the craziest thing. That's one of my biggest fears internationally when you get busted for drugs or drinking,

because, like, the rules are so, I mean, you know, Britney Griner, all that shit. It's just like, you never know where it's just like, oh, ounce the weed? death penalty. You're like, what? Yeah, yeah. Dude, I think India has some crazy weed. I was just in the Middle East, a lot of Asian. Totally illegal.

Totally illegal. Drinking in Saudi Arabia, I think. Fuck, it's been, I don't even two months, I'm starting to forget. Saudi Arabia, I think Kuwait, no alcohol, no, no weed, like, bad. That's crazy. Punishments, yeah. But then there's the occasional country in the Middle East where they're like growing heroin. because like opium grows in the Middle East

but it's not ever... That's illegal. But they just... I like how stupid I have like... Yeah, I mean, meth comes from America. Well, they make so much money. They just pay people. I mean, talk about like, like...

It's one thing about when you... Like, you're just thinking everyone complains about America being corrupt and like shitty. And like, it's, everywhere is corrupt. But it's like... It's like there's at least some morals to things here like, you know, like people's feelings and what's right, what's wrong. Over there, it's literally, there's no right.

It's just like literally, literally. whatever we believe in, like, religiously, and just, like, whatever we feel. Like, when you get, if you, if you, like, get busted for a crime and you go on, there's no real trial. There's no, like, oh, you're a long process where you get, it's just like, you go in a room and a guy goes, what do you do? Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Nah, I think he's guilty. Well, about, just go, kill him. Yeah, there's no problem. That's it. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I do agree with those countries, though, that women shouldn't show their ankles. Yeah, that's disgusting.

Bainty, disgusting. So socks, but tits out? Yeah. Yeah. We're at an hour, though. What do you guys want to promote? I have a social media, Instagram, TikTok at Kamachbro,

C-A-M-A-C-H-B-R-O. I have a podcast. I'm just a kid. I've been on it. I had a blast. You did it, and the clips went viral. Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, listen to the podcast. Actually, I'm switching it up, so now it's going to be

mostly just kind of me doing solo. but I'll have guests on it every once in a while. Sweet. Kevin's been on it too. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin's been on it. It was fun. Oh, I was like shitting on my Irish aunts.

I was like, they're just... Oh, yeah, you told me about this. Yeah. And then I have a funeral... Yeah, at a funeral service. They were like, oh, heard you on that podcast. Oh, God. I was like, oh, shit.

I got to have you on again because I'm going to try to do it more... So the podcast used to be about just interviewing people at high school. And now I'm going to try to just do it more like this. They're just hanging in a little bit, you know, talking comedy. Um, less structured. Um, what else do I have going on? I don't know. We, were you, were fan base? Where's your fans? Florida and New York. That's it. Okay. I'll be at, uh, uh, Florida, Gregory's Comedy Club in Cocoa Beach, January 6 and 7th. Um, I heard that room's very old. And, uh, so let's, let's bring some youngsters out there. Let's get some young people out there who, uh, want to do bath salts and Molly and, uh, yeah, there we go. There we go. A little more fun, you know, yeah, those are the best.

That's a lot of Florida, a lot of old people. Yeah, I know. It's like, uh, because young people don't want to go to comedy shows. It's so funny. Because any, any, like, except for Miami, but anywhere I go in Florida, it's just like, yeah, old white people that are, you know, retired and happy, you're just like, okay. Yeah, it's, it's, it's so hard. It's weird.

Like, sometimes it's, some jokes will do well, but it's like, you go, yeah, and, but in a lot of those fun cities, like Miami does have young people, but a lot of times young people don't even want to go to comedy shows because they're like, no, I'd rather go to a bar and try to fuck a chick. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm visiting Miami, too, like, yeah. Because we're not known for comedy in Florida.

So it's like New York, young people go see comedy because, oh, I can see a celebrity. But like in Florida, they're like, eh. Right, right. That's the same thing with the, I think baseball, too. It's not a baseball. No, not at all. Yeah. The team struggles so much there, you know?

Yeah, because nobody wants to. Yeah. Yeah. Me, you know, I don't know. Follow me at Kevin McGloin. I got two ends at the end because some guy in Ireland has my name. But, yeah, that's it. Nothing really going on.

You know, I don't know. All right, sweet. What's coming out? Do you do clips and stuff? Depending on if I get that job. If I get the job, then we're doing clips. If you don't get the job. No, if I do get it, because I'm applying for other jobs.

Does that make sense? I figure if you don't get it, you have more time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So if I don't get the job, then I keep my social media on private. But if I do get the job, yeah. But either way, I think... Do you still upload video and stuff regardless? No, I might start doing it.

But what I do is I will promote all my story and stuff. like that and I will promote it on. What do you use the video for then? For clips. Jerk off too late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kevin looks so hot. You put it up, give me a copy.

I'll put up on my thing. Oh, sweet, yeah, I appreciate it. I was just like, I think we told some funny stories. Yeah, oh, I haven't ended it, by the way. Oh, yeah.