Morning Good - Avatar 2 Fleshlight - Episode 152

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Adam Christopher and Graham Cooper return to the show for today's episode. They talk about ordering a McGangBang, getting lost in the woods, and alien abduction Facebook groups.Thanks to Adam and Graham for coming back on the show. Check both of these guys out at their links down below for more.Adam is on Instagram as @adamchristopherrr, and he sells Deception Stones exclusively at DeceptionStones.com. Graham is on Instagram as well @grahamcomedy and also hosts @switchhitterscomedy in NYC. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichael.This podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax.

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, we're here to make history. My voice cracked us. We're going to make history. Dude, I have my, I have my voice crack in like a joke recently. it was like I was when I had to really have it was like a suicide joke so I was like I got

to really look confident I'm like already this is some religions thank you oh my god I'm gonna kill myself now did you poke fun at it like when it happened on stage no I completely ignored it did everyone else ignore it too what's up did everyone else ignore it as well I think so yeah okay alright

it was all a blur yeah my favorite is to do that and then you come back three minutes later be like oh by the way I remember when you guys didn't thought that was weird by I'm here with Adam Christopher Hey, what's up? And what the fuck is your name? No, what the fuck that name do? I did draw the, I genuinely.

I saw that. I genuinely was like, who are you? We've just been friends for years. I just develop Alzheimer's for sick. I was like, who are these people? That happens sometimes. It's all the nicotine, dude. Yeah.

Chill out. Did you see, what's his name? Chris, uh, who's the war? Oh, yeah, uh, Chris Ragnarock. He, uh, he had some thing where, like, he found out he might be. not going to get the real answer. Helmsfeld. I think he's Jewish.

Hemsworth. Hemsworth. There it is. Hemsworth. There it is. That's a Jewish name? No, no, no. Hemsfeld might be. He found out he might be predisposed to Alzheimer's, which is shitty, but I think his reaction is like a little, because it's like, you don't

for sure aren't going to necessarily have Alzheimer's. And now he's treating like it was like legitimate diagnosis. Right. He's like, help me forget Avenger. Let me forget Thor For. it's just spelled Thor, but with a U. It's like it's four. Guys, that's my, that's me.

I got to go. Yeah, well, wait, why don't we just call up there? One minute, it? But, uh, he's having to do that? Oh, sorry. Okay. Okay, it was a bit. You're like, I had things to do.

What's he doing to? He had his wife where, there's like a serious documentary about it. He has his wife where prosthetics is like an old woman, so he could see, because he's like, I, like, he's got to like learn her face as an old lady. Yes, because he's like, I will, I'll never get to remember what you're like.

No way. Dude, it's so funny how like next level they take everything. It's like, the doctors are like, yeah, you have like two copies of something that might mean you might one day get Alzheimer's. It'd be funny that doctors just take him in the back and shoot him in the head. Yeah, it's fine. You just might have awesome.

Who is that? Was it like? Just to make sure. It's like Angeline and Jolet. I forget who, like some celebrity she found out that she might, she was like predisposed to breast cancer. And so just went ahead and double had a double mastectomy. Oh, are you?

Yeah, you're like, that's a fucking horrific surgery. I don't know if it was her, but it was someone, I'm at a higher risk than normal, so I'm just going to do it out. You know how like you get your breast cut off, you have breast cancer? But that doesn't stop you from getting like huge fake tits. I don't know why it's the idea of like, just somebody like shaved head, but then just the phase one. Wait till phase two.

That's recorded video, by the way, right? Oh, no, it's a stop motion. Perfect. It's like a little claymation. The whole thing is in slow motion the whole time you're just going to be moving real smooth. Oh, just one of those. Wait, yeah, I would just live on the edge until it happened. Then be like, then cut it off.

You get diagnosed, yeah, sure, have the operation then. Yeah, yeah, that makes more sense. But getting ahead of the game in that sense, that's a horrific operation. Yeah, that's horrific. You have to, you just, you spent all this time learning how to live with yourself as an adult for like 30 years. and you're like, hey, now I'm going to reset all that. Yeah. Just take these away.

It's like a second puberty. It's like, yeah, yeah. I don't know why I pictured the doctors with like one of those. I don't know how they do it, but I pictured one of those saws where one person holds each end. Kind of just goes back and forth like it's a lock or something. I don't know why. We put them in or we're taking them out today. The doctor doesn't know day of.

He just puts on like a different outfit if it's going in or out. I'm saving a ton of money, though. How funny would it be going under in surgery and then you just see like a lumberjack in the room? You're like, what is going on here? That's like the last thing you see when you close your eyes. It's just like a saw. He's like, we cut these off.

Count back from 10 and someone gets out an axe. Oh, what the fuck? Cut to lumberjack, grabbing another donut. What's happening? What is my role in? Have you guys had surgery? Oh, yeah. I had surgery, but I also just want to say thanks for having me on.

Is that what you said to the surgeon before? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was actually starting the story. That's what I was doing. I was getting into character. Can I plug a few dates real quick? Yeah, yeah. As you're going in for surgery.

I'm going to be at the Memphis funny bone. Do I go ahead and count back from 100? Like, Muna Via, it's to Halahasi. Yeah. I've had surgery. I had like varicoseal, like around my nuts. What does that mean? It's just like veins, like an overgrowth of veins.

Oh, okay. So it just like hurt a lot. Oh, I think Patty DeVee has it on his legs. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, where it's like it's branching off. I love to meet that guy. Yeah. He's a homeless man that lives under a bridge nearby.

Yeah, yeah, variety. No, no, no, that's all of Michael's friends. Yeah, it's a lot of. No variety. I got, I got some homeless friends at. From Barkin, dude, it's like my community is. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, yeah, definitely.

because they're people and you're around a lot of other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to get along with some of them. Absolutely. Sometimes they're homeless. Yeah, yeah. It is like having friends that are homeless.

It is like having any other friends that get out of control sometimes. You're like, you get mad at them and you're like, oh yeah, you don't have a house to live in. You forget for a second. You're like, why is this guy being a dick today? Do you remember pre-coat? Do you remember Blinky?

No. He was on McDougal Street a lot. By the way, that already sounds like a cessation. me straight thing, Blinky on McDougall Street. Blinky on McDougal. He used to hold up a sign that said, will twerk for a dollar. Oh, okay, I know you're talking about, yeah. He, uh, beginning of COVID, he, like, disappeared.

We didn't know where he went for a while. We thought he died or something. I was like, sick. He added me on Facebook, like six months later, and he's fucking living it up, dude. He got, he got clean, he got sober. He's in, he's in Florida, killing it. Oh, shit. That's so fun. Like, like, a lot of, like, pictures at restaurants. That's how you know they're doing good. No, he's almost outside.

No, he's like, you know, moved in with, I think, family or something or friends, and he's not doing heroin anymore. That's too touching. I want to keep it silly. It was too touching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. No positive stories. Only negative.

Yeah, I want to keep it silly, man. And then you got murdered, all right? Is that better? I want to keep it silly. You guys seen the whale yet? No. Dude, I haven't, but I... I did see Puss and Boots.

Oh, I hear that's good. Holy shit, dude. So good. Is it the same writers from Shrek? I like that I care about that. I'm like, it's important though. It's like what are the ingredients

of this thing I'm going to consume? I don't know. I don't know if it's... Because I hear it's like really, it's actually pretty funny. Yeah, yeah. That would be funny to be furious about the new Puss and Boost.

So be like, where was the direction on this? I mean, this is... Dude, it was solid movie. I mean, like, nine and a half out of ten, I think. Oh, I... He's got a little baby pussy. What? What did you say?

Baby... No, you said... That movie... Puss in boots. It's about baby pussies, right? Little, little... I think I have that one. Uh-oh. There's little pusses. What do you call them? Little cats and boots?

No. What would you call little pusses and boots? He has chattors. Kittens. Kittins. Right. He has little kittens, right? No. No? He's got big boots, though. It's nothing to do with him having kids. No. Why did I... I created this version of the movie?

You just wanted to say baby pussy. That's not true. I created a version where he had... like a little little kids. Like him trying to become a father. A litter. Yeah, yeah. He's caught for littering.

I think you just had a dream about your dad. He threw his boots at the side of the road. He's caught for littering. Yeah. I know where he's headed. I've seen that movie. This movie takes place in New Jersey. Wait, going back to Blinky really quick, that's very, that's really cool.

I love when that happens. It's great that he like, like, I don't know, just found connection. That's like a lot of times what it is with like drug use and stuff. Yeah, and a lot of those people also have so much to offer because they have so much like... Yeah, yo, it's so crazy. It's emotionally, it's like they're homeless because a lot of times like, I mean, some of them are totally crazy. But also it's like there's always something that positive that comes out of that. It's like, yeah, the people that are emotionally unstable, sure, they might like punch a waiter in the face.

But that waiter fucking deserved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. Every time. Every waiter deserves it. It should be punched in the face. Almost never. But it's like those same people, it's like, it's because they're so emotional. When they're nice, they're like next level.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, the dynamic of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they're this crazy, that means they're this, they have the capacity to be like this nice. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. There's a homeless guy I see most every day. I talk to him a lot. He's a really nice dude who we always talk about comedy.

Yeah. And he is like, he's a big comedy fan, big comedy guy, but doesn't know anyone's name. Like he always confuses their names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he always says Dave Shampel. That's really funny. That is really fun. And he told me his story.

He's like, Dave Chappelle one time. He, like, went this, long story short, he gave him like $800. It was fucking hilarious. Dude, I've talked to this guy. And then he spent an hour signing each $100 bill. It's like an hour to sign eight?

I've, well, you can see his signature. What is Puss and Boots about that? Because I have this whole vision of my mind. It's about him raising kids. I don't know why. I'm not even, I'm so sure. The gist is that Puss and Boots is, you know, he's a hero. He's an outlaw.

He's a, he's a vigilante. By, okay. So, but he's like Batman. It's like some people. He's like a Zorro Batman kind of thing. He's a hero to some and a villain to the authorities. Yes. Right.

You know, a real Puss and Boots story. And there's nothing analogous to it. He stands alone. And he, you know, cats have nine lives. Right. He dies. He's on his last life. And he's like, oh, fuck.

I'm on my last life. I got to go on this journey to try to get more lies and John Malaney's in it for some reason. Oh, they're all cartoons. It's live action John Mullaney. Hey, what's going on here, guys? You know, I didn't coke a year ago.

Puss! That's his whole act in it. Just say, puss. So, okay, I keep trying to dig from you that he has kids. He does not. What am I thinking of? He's infertile. Another, is there a

Minion Boots is completely impotent. Really? It's like a whole part of it. He's like, I have nine lives and I'll never have kids. So I'll see you with him at the doctor where they're testing out his semen. Who wrote this again? That's a good Malini, dude.

It's still Antonio Banderas, right? Of course. Okay, sweet. Yeah. Yeah, what the hell else is he going to do? He's not doing Zorro 4. Yeah. God, Michael.

No, he's just doing Puss and Boots over. Yeah. Do you think they're ever going to bring Shrek back? So I think it, the very last shot of the movie, or drawing, if you will. They had like an adventure's endgame ending where it's like, he's like,

who else will help us on this next adventure? And out of the shadows come to Shrek. I think they set it up for a sequel, or a squeak will, if you will, with with Shrek, but the people I saw it with disagreed with me. Oh, okay. Okay, so there's not...

Yeah, I picture like one of the shadows. I don't imagine Mike Myers wanting to do another track. Was it just like the ending of Passion of the Christ? It was Mel Gibson at the end. Just like, did you like it? Did you see the holes in my hand?

It's real. The cat did these. What they should do is we should kidnap Mike Meyer. Not us. I would never commit a crime whoever's listening to this from the government. But as a society,

we should sign in laws to make sure that we can capture... Are you not... Mike Myers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shrek. And then... Slavery is illegal besides Mike Myers

being Shrek. And then put him in a fat suit. Yes. Because when he did it, we all laughed, but like when Brendan Fraser did it, like we're all crying. Yeah, that's a good boy.

Was he in a fat suit? Yeah, yeah. He just got fat. No, no, no. It's like a mixture of both. Okay. But he's definitely in a fat suit because like that level of big

is like very, man, that movie. Yeah, I've heard. I've been trying to watch. I don't know. I was going to watch it last night, But then I got high and watched like a Morgan Freeman documentary. Not,

it's about Morgan Freeman. Narrated by Morgan Freeman. It's a Morgan Freeman documentary narrated by the penguins. That's great. I don't know. Or it always your penguins make. Yeah, it seems like it. Something like that.

That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. I just imagine myself as a penguin. I just, that's what I, you're just really picturing it. Yeah. I have that ability.

I can imagine I can imagine to be someone else. Yeah, me and him, I can't even imagine when life will be as a penguin, but you can do that. Yeah. Yeah.

I think about it, but it haunts me. Yeah. Oh, you're thinking of ghost penguins. That's the problem. Great movie, though. Ghost penguins? Yeah. You ever seen Ghost penguins, too?

No. Slide on ice. That's great. Yeah. I can believe that. penguins do this thing where they give each other rocks, the best rocked, like the woman they love. And my buddy was at a...

Is it penguins that do that? Or puffins? I don't know. Where are puffins? Puffins are a flighted bird that look like penguins, but are smaller, and they can fly. Oh, that sounds crazy.

Yeah. It's funny to me how much you know about monkeys, but you seemingly know very little else about any... A bird? Anything. Anything. A bird? It flies.

What is flight? What type of monkey is that? Is that like a monkey without a tail? Basically. Yeah, I, monkeys are what I know about. And then not even outside of animals. That's all I know about anything. Yeah.

It's like, I'm very, I sent you the cute, a little bit of chimpanzee. So cute. You should check it out. I listened to one of your old podcast, and you thought slavery was still happening like today, legally in the South or something. Or whatever the fuck it was.

No, no, no. No, what I had was that I was actually somewhat correct about what I said. It's true. You were. Uh, that the, North, technically, the Emancipation Proclamation did not illegalize slavery

in the southern states. Because the other states weren't really having slavery. There was the occasional one where it was like some guy... I like having slavery as a verb. Yeah, yeah. Having slavery tonight? Like it's a meal, yeah.

And for the lady? But yeah, it was... But I didn't know. Dude, I, by the way, there's just hours of me just listening to my podcast. I'm like, what? What?

I would watch a documentary about that narrated by Morgan Freeman as a ghost penguin. Oh, man. That would be great. Did you ever have like a triple Big Bang? That's what that is. That's a good idea. Is that a thing?

You could ask for more. You could always ask for more. Do they have to give it to you? No, I usually make it myself. I just order one more cheeseburger. And just pile it on. Did you guys ever do the McGang Bang thing where like you'd go on? Excuse me?

Oh, yeah, they had like the special. There's a thing called the McGangbang. You take two chicken. Is it the official term from McDonald's corporate? No, no. You tell them what it was. And occasionally the worker will be like, I got you. But then you'd have to explain it to them.

But normally if you said McGang Bay, they would never. I fucking hate when people do that, dude. Like, I saw a picture today. It was the waffle house that had a sign on it. It's like, order off the menu, nothing you've seen on TikTok. Yes, yes, yes. That is so obnoxious when you go into a fast food place and you're like, can I get this weird off the menu thing?

you're like, I don't make any money. I'm special. Can you make me stay special? Can I beat the shit out of somebody else right here? I saw it on TikTok. That is what Waffle House is for. Oh, they're crazy, dude. Same with I.

So what's the McGang Bang? I'm sorry. I might be mixing this up. I'm speaking very carefully now. It's when you go to McDonald's and you just have a gang bang. It's still not allowed. Even with Mick in front of it. You take two chicken tenders, I think, and then you make a burger out of it.

You put like a burger. Isn't that just like KFC double down or whatever? With the less fun name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had that once where it's just it's the sandwich from KFC, but the buns are just chicken. Or chicken cutlets?

Yeah. It was pretty gross. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds gross. Somebody tried to convince me that was healthier because I was cutting out the bread carbs. I'm like, what are you talking about? Fried chicken?

Yeah. You must be a scientist. No sense to me. I don't try to argue with things that sound more intelligent than me. That guy went on... That guy went on Rogan as a nutritionist. See, when you put the first cutlet at the top... It actually negates the bottom cutlet because of gravity.

Sounds reasonable of me. But, yeah, no, I just... I watch that fun thing. Because I'm doing dry January still, so I've just been smoking a bunch of pot. getting really anxious, thinking about what I've said in the last episode of the podcast. I text my producer the funniest thing, though. There was something that I said that I like, you're like, I don't know what dry January

is. I was not, like, proud of, like, something I had in the podcast. And I was like, I woke up in the morning. You ever just getting a weird? I think I might have psychosis. But he's getting a weird mood. And he was like, do I want me to take this out? This sounds really bad.

And I was like, and I go, I go, no, because I want my grandkids to know the man I was. And I go, thousands of. of years from now, historians might see this, and I want them to have an accurate depiction of who I am. And like an hour later, I was like, fuck, why do I keep that in? Yeah, that I spoke by. What a trippy feeling, though. There's like,

oh, could I get in trouble for this thing that I said? And then you're like, but am I overthinking this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does it matter? And also, how much more exciting would your life get if you were canceled over the thing that you said? What, was it something like that you regret saying because it was stupid or you regret saying

because it was a true thing that I said, I did? did that I was just not proud of. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, man, that just, it sounds bad. All those make gang bangs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was one of those things where I was like, I was like, yeah, no, I just picture my, I don't know why I picture my grandkids listening to the morning podcast. I'm like, they have to know that I made mistakes as a man.

And it was just so stupid. It's actually pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. I like that fun. Yeah, and it is a funny thing, though, because you always think like, uh, yeah, I don't, I don't know, it's, you just obsess. I have OCD too. So like, I'll tell like, I normally, I normally. don't cut anything unless I have the guests cut it. But then the second I'll cut one thing, I'll start obsessing and want to cut other things. That's why I have to like, I'm just kind of like put it all out there.

If this episode, put it all out there. I would really appreciate if you could just cut your audio track in type of. Yeah, it's just you do. And cut mine too. And I think that would just be a fun rule. It's just like, yeah. Big Gang bang, right? Yeah. Plused boots. What I saw recently,

I saw Megan and that was awesome, dude. It was a fun movie. I went to go make fun of it. I'm like, this will be so stupid and I saw I was like, this is sweet. It's badass, too. Yeah, did you see that movie yet? I have not, but that is how I felt with Puss and Boots. I was like, I'm probably going to laugh at this and then the whole time I was laughing harder than anyone in that theater. And I went to a Friday 10 p.m. showing of that that and it was crowded. And no one was really laughing? No, people were laughing, but I was

really fucking out. That's great. It was so... He's a cat, but he's wearing shoes. That's what you're saying to everything. Just the title sequence starts and I'm just I can't. Solid film. Yeah. I have not seen Megan, though. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah.

It's not the best movie ever, but it's fun. It's also badass, dude. There's a point where she... I'm just gonna ruin it. Who cares? Yeah. She shoots nails into this woman's hand. There's like an old lady that she just like fuck sucks.

She sucked. Yeah, yeah. I don't think that old lady was that bad. No, she was terrible. Yeah, yeah. I would use the same exact. Get her. Yeah.

Yeah, she shoots nail guns out of it. They start spraying. There's an old lady. who's like basically like crucified to the floor. And then Megan sprang her in the face with a hose. I'm like drowning her. This is crazy. That sounds like a good time. It's charming.

That's a Macangangang if I ever heard of one. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I'm trying to think of it. I didn't see the new avatar, but everybody wants to. Oh, I really, I enjoy that movie. Yeah. I've seen it three times. Are you serious?

Oh, don't, you don't have to see the first one. See the second one. It's better. It's everything that the first one was trying to be, but like, so much better. Because of the tech that. that is now accessible? Well, yeah, definitely the tech for sure. But also, like, yeah, if you're curious,

watch the first one just to see how it still holds up. It's, like, still really good, like, in terms of the... To watch a movie that's fucking three and a half hours in passing, to be like, I guess check it out and, you know, if you want to... That's a big commitment. I'm also, I'm so bummed because I've been looking for... Everybody saw it already, so I couldn't find anybody that wanted to sit down. Oh, I'll watch it with you.

When? Like, whenever I get off of work at, like, nine. Do you have, like, LNC stuff? Yeah, yeah, I have AMC stuff. Do you smoke pot? Yeah, yeah. Can we smoke pot and see you tonight? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, fuck you. Let's do it. Oh, my God. Wait, tonight? Yeah, yeah, I think, uh, wait, what time is it? I have to make sure because this is a party I'm going to. I go to party sometimes. Are you go to the Malia's one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You going? I might now. I was going to go see Avatar then. Well, that's where they're show, I think she's streaming. No, she got a ticket to, to go see it.

So is she not having a party? She's having it at 10. Oh, okay. In my head, I'm like, dude, the listeners are going to, please keep listening. It gets better. I think I'm saying it's getting better where I don't know where this episode's going. I'm like, I know there's a better part after this. I'm like, I don't know where this is going at all.

But Avatar, just as a concept, it's like really, like, I really see it as like, it's the modern day cave paintings. Because the story is, like, there's nothing deep about the story. You know exactly what's going on. It's really just to, like, marvel at this, like, visually cool thing. Yeah, yeah. And this, like, crazy in-depth concept. that he developed.

It's like, because like, you know, when you look at the cave paintings, back then, I'm sure they were staring at it for like months or years. They're like, yeah,

we know we get it's a hunt. But yeah, no one's ever drawn on a rock before. Yeah, like so it's kind of like that. That is always funny to me that like some of those cave paintings were stick figures.

Yeah. And they're like that looks just like you. Holy shit. That was perfect. Yeah. Because they have nothing to compare it to. It's so realistic. Yeah.

Just him like this. I don't know if James Cameron would like that praise of his film. You're like, oh, writing, story, totally irrelevant. Didn't care for it. Yeah, what if you agreed with it?

The visual effects that you didn't make, fans. No, but he held make a bunch of it, right? Or he was just there to be like, hey, do better. I mean, like, I think did the concepts and everything, but you know, he's not working. Right, right. No, no, but in terms, like, for his understanding

of the audience, to be like, well, if I make the story any more, like, complex, is going to take away from the immersion of the world. So it's like just a very, like, easily relatable, very human story. Yeah. And that serves a purpose.

That's also a skill in itself. It's like it's not the greatest script ever, but for what it does for the film, I think it's like really perfect. Maybe I'll wait until it's out on VR or something. Oh, yeah, yeah. Whoa, that'd be crazy. Avatar VR. Jerk off that's the fifth one.

They had Avatar flashlights for a while. Which is, I don't think there's more shame buying something. They're official merchandise from James Cameron.com. Yeah, it's only fleshlights. I also, you'd have to pull it the other way there. You'd have to have so much confidence going there and be like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck an avatar pussy. I fuck so many real pussies that I'm tired of it.

Just like that. I'm not weird. I'm just exhausted. Yeah, wait. How did they decide the shape and texture and feel like? James Cameron has wood prints. It's like a behind the scenes thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I watch the behind the scenes thing. Like the character design was like from his mom's like dreams. And he was like, oh, that would be cool to see a world with those types of creatures. Yeah. Did he have to ask his mom what their... Viginas, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Ema. The same puss and boots, man. No one's asking that. You'd be funny. Avatar,

there's a guy who's like, James Cameron, I want to design the flashlights based on Avatar. He goes, what should we have these feel like?

And James Cameron just puts his mouth around the guy's fingertips and just goes like like this. Perfect. Oh, man. I've been watching nonsense, dude.

I took Adderall the other day to, like, be better at my job, which is not getting better. It's like, I'm done with Adderall completely because sometimes it just doesn't make you productive. You just get... What does Dry January mean to you? I feel like we have pretty different definition. No showers. Somebody thought it meant like, somebody's like, you haven't drank it or jerked off the whole month? I was like, no, you're thinking of dry Semberg.

That's a different thing. That way, you're supposed to not jerk off on December? People, there's like a... I like that. Every month, you're just finding new ways to not have fun. Take it all away for a month. Can I get a puff of that, by the way? Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

As I'm like puffing dick, yeah, I don't have beers, though. Did you read about the, I think it was the Proud Boys, their handbook got released in like a court case, and they're- What's their handbook? Official rules on jerking off, according to, in the Proud Boys handbook. You're not allowed to jerk off more than, alone, more than once a month, and you can only, they're like, you have, All probably is have to ejaculate within one yard of a woman.

Oh, my God. Yeah. And Michael and I have been doing that already. Yeah. So why? I think we're members, dude. I think we're members. I just think it's fucking nuts that they're like, we're the manliest men.

We're going to write some rules about this. About jerk up. Well, those things are so funny, too, because, like, I've been really getting those alpha. Like, all of Andrew Tate stuff has just been flooding my eyes. Because I keep watching. It's so interesting. It's hilarious. No, well, it's so funny.

And it's such a, like, to observe this kind of character and how many people respond to his, like, whatever he represents. It's really fascinating. It's better than fiction, dude. It's amazing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's so satisfying. There's the way of the way he talks, it's, like, so satisfying for people that don't feel like a person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, oh, he's, he's me. Yeah. That's what I want to be. People are like, they need to free him from jail. No, he probably did those things. It's pretty bad. Dude, I've also heard, I've heard that Romaine. Also, he could take it like a man.

I've also heard Romania. For a while, I think I texted the group child. I was like, Romania, I didn't think sex trafficking was illegal there. Because it's like such a, I was like, that seems like the place. And I was talking to him, but it goes, yeah, that's why he for sure is guilty. Because that place has the loosest, yeah, loss in that guy. Just context, man. But those alpha bailings are just so funny because I was talking about, they always have these weird rules.

Like, there's one where this guy, they're like, I don't drink before fucking six o'clock because I want to be thirsty. That's what being a man. All these stuff like that. And they're really, they're obsessed about... 6 p.m. is not a good time to start drinking either. Like, that's not... No, water, I'm saying. Oh, that's stupid.

I'm making this up. This is the kind of thing, though. I watched one. They're really obsessed with jerking off and seem into retention. That's so funny. It's so funny. He goes, how did I quit jerking off? And I was like, this is hilarious because this is only like a podcast.

I'm getting a minute of this. He goes, what I did is I made a rule for myself. That I would videotape myself every time I masturbated. And I got to look at it afterwards. So I felt a lot of shame. so then I, that's how I quit jerking off. And you're like, why, you just, if anybody needs to jerk off, it's you, man. That's why.

You're a man or upload those, dude, all right? Let people jerk off to those. It sounds like something like a priest would do instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to be priests instead of, like, dude. Like, don't you just do whatever you want to do? That's kind of, right? And then you understand there's consequences, so you don't do some things.

You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, I shouldn't do that because there's consequences. I'm confused. Right, you're not. I'm saying like it's so funny that like Can I get one more in public? Oh yeah for sure. It's so funny that like the people that watch stuff like that it's like they want to be told what to do. I'll get more.

They want to be told like what to do or something which is also it's like very paradoxical to the concept of like being a man. Right. Like I do what I need to do to fucking survive or whatever. You know it's like there's all these like rules. Yeah. Yeah.

That's not manly. Yeah, yeah. Rules aren't manly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But they do, they like to obsess about discipline. They're like, I count my calories. I wake up at 4.30 every morning and I jerk off to crypto. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they get intense about it. I got to watch the full Andrew Tate document. Because I think both sides of it's are funny. Because I think it is funny that Vice is like the dangerous rise of Andrew Tate.

I was like, it's not, he's just, he's just crazy and crazy people are following him. But he had this thing where he had all these alpha males on. And, uh, It's just such a funny term. Dude, it's hilarious. If you live by this code, it's just so silly. Dude, and he has these guys, he has like a little seminar. It's basically Project Mayhem from Fight Club.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he has these guys fight professional UFC fighters. And they obviously, like, they're asking. He goes, you might be thinking, I'm not prepared to fight professional UFC fighter. He goes, well, you should have thought of that. You should always be prepared to fight professional UFC fighters. You're like, what? That is a pretty different example of expect the unexpected.

And you should have expected. You should be a professional fighter because they might just come out of nowhere and beat the shit out of you. And mid-fight, we're going to drive a car through the ring. I've been getting the ones too where it's like, I'll get the Andrew Tate ones and then now I get the defending Ander Tate ones,

which are hilarious. There's a video of him at a zoo feeding like a giraffe and they go, the media wants to pay him terribly, but look at him feeding animals. And who like sees a guy at a zoo and is like, I guess he's a good guy now because he's feeding a giraffe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The $60 behind the scenes experience at the zoo? Okay, that's not. I picture it'd be an asshole about his money everywhere. Like, he goes to 7-11 to get a pack of gum and just, like, throws hundreds of dollars of bills at them. And they're like, we can't break this. Yeah. Do you know what kind of man I am?

I can break this. I haven't come in three days. That's not that impressive. Yeah, I mean, I guess, like, don't come if you just don't want to come. But if you... Do you want to come, though? If you want to come and you have some free time, I mean, why you pay? pent up all that. Life is so frustrating already.

Just kind of like, get it out. Get it out. Yeah. Sometimes I don't feel like coming. And so I don't jerk off that day. I do. I have the opposite of the semen retention thing where I'm just jerking off too much. Because sometimes I'm like, this will just get my brain going. And I'm like, I'm not even into it. And I'm just like, oh, okay, here we.

Like it's like doing laundry or something. When you get the chore jerks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I just have to do this because I've stayed at a laptop for like four hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. It's all just frustration, I reckon. Most of the times I jerk off, it's just like, yeah, I've been staring at a computer

for so long. I just got to fucking stare at it longer, but with different things. Yeah, exactly. But it's also like, if I'm leaving the house, I've never gone out. Like, we went hiking recently. That was so much. It was like four months. I had a great time. By the way, I talked to Ben, Ben Miller, friend of the pod. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe he's not a guy. Enemy of the pod. Deep enemy of the pod. Enemy of the pod. Enemy of the state of Hawaii. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talked to him about it. Oh, did you hear about the gig? Yeah, yeah. I totally think he led us on that path intentionally at the end there. Oh yeah, yeah, but

we were out in the woods and the Hart Ranger came. The whole time it was like very nice, open, smooth level carriage trails that were like easy to traverse and it started getting a dark. And if we had just doubled back on where we came, yeah, we would have been a little late, but

the trails were smooth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ben was like, oh, I know a shortcut and took us on the most dangerous at night in the dark of night. A few of us had flashlights, but that's it. Trail. Because the whole time he had been like,

oh man, I really want to do some like real hiking. I'm a little disappointed in like just this flash. So I think he led us down that trail being like, I'm getting my fucking high. And we were both high. Yeah. I was so glad I didn't smoke with you. Yeah, we were five.

And there was part of my voice where I was like, you're lost in the woods at night. And there's a part of my goes, you're probably just high and being paranoid. But really, I should have missed it. It's so funny. I went into like sort of like a very focused mindset. When I get stoned and I'm doing something like that, it's just very focused.

I was just like, all right, just don't fall. Just don't fall. I was leading us out of there like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. But you're like, I got to keep this. I'm like the kid. You're like, we got to make sure Michael doesn't freak out. Yeah, yeah. But in the guy, the park ranger.

He was pretty pissed. It was like somebody. It felt like I was my mom. It's funny to get in trouble as an adult. What was really funny about that is he's like, look, normally, you know, I have kids now. He's like, before I had kids and I saw a car that was around after closing, I'm not going to lie, I got pretty excited. You know? I thought, shit, I'm going to have to do something fucking cool, all right?

I got to go find a dead body. Maybe I find a suicide note. But now I have kids, I'm like, damn, that's someone's daughter. That's someone's. And you're like, dude, you're a fucking public safety official. I used to love suicide. He used to be the coolest thing. Look, I was a teenager once, okay?

I used to like what other people hurt themselves. But now, I'm just like, that's a son, that's a daughter. We've got people out there looking for you. And you were like, oh, do you need to, like, radio them to, like, call them off? He's like, no. And I'm like, I don't think you have people out there looking for it. You were lying. I think you're just saying stuff.

I don't even think you have a family. It was really funny. He's like, you should have let us know that you guys were okay, but you were just coming back late. I don't have your phone number. There's no cell service, and we don't have your phone number. And he's like, you should have just call. call 911. We're like, what would that be like?

911? What's your emergency? Like, oh, nothing. We're just want to let you know. We'll be there soon. We're lost in the woods. Where? We don't know.

We're lost in the woods. It's dark out. We don't know. But I did, I looked at the- Michael Stone. I looked at like the map because I tracked the workout on my watch, so I got to see

like the GPS of where we were. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. And if we had just doubled back, yes, the route we took at the end was technically shorter in distance. Oh, but it was like this. But it was fucking treacherous.

What a while. If we had just doubled back, we would have made it in less than half an hour. I mean, like, it would have been so great. What a wild trek, though. It was so funny. To observe the day, though, like, in terms of, like, how life can be, like, a video game sometimes, you know, because it was, like, fun and, like, chill. That's, like, the tutorial mode.

And then we got to the fucking, uh, the trail. We're all, like, having a good time. And it's like, all right, this is how you play the game. And now it's getting dark. It was, like, dark. And then, like, all these obstacles. It's, like, quick. You can just see in the night, you know, barely with your flashlight, slender man.

going to pop out somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Then the final boss is like, you have to lie to the sheriff. Yeah, we're all good. We're just heading back home now. No,

the website said six. And it did. We checked the website. It did say six. But we knew. There's a sign coming in that said flashing sign that said five p.m.

We're just like, that's not for us. Yeah. That's for nerds. That's for nerds. Sorry, Ranger, whatever your name was.

Oh, yeah. Sorry we didn't kill ourselves and you got to have a good time with it. You should be just happy we're back. You should be... Yeah, you should be happy

we're back. And then we went out for a great dinner. That was a really good dinner. That was a really good dinner. There's a really lane, right? Yeah. I think, yeah, was that

what it was? It was really good. Butter tea? Butter tea. I enjoyed the butter tea. Speaking of Himalayas totally unrelated, but did you know...

Do you like pink salt? Yeah. I've been, as I was taking Adderall and just watching weird documentaries during the day. Oh, yeah. So I've got into a couple good ones. One of them is just

complete nonsense. There's one about a taradactyl in the Wild West. There just said... There we go. There was no evidence whatsoever. There was like one article that's like, we found a big bird. This is going to be a gray Adderall buzz. Yeah. I'm watching. Yeah. And it's like, we found a big bird just in some newspaper. And then somebody else found a picture of like these guys with a giant taradactyl. And they're like, yeah, we don't know if this picture is real or not. I'm like, there's zero evidence that there's a

taradactal. But obviously it's history channel. It's like, history channel is awesome. Dude, history channel makes it. Great bad documentary. Yeah, yeah. And they're so next level. And then you're like, what the fuck? And then I watched one on Jesus that was super interesting.

So it was about... Compassion of the Christ. It was... It was great. I didn't know that the Bible has more books emitted from it than is in it. So they cut out like eight books

or something like that, and then there's eight books in it. I fucking knew it, dude. And you're right, eight. No one's read the Bible. No one's read the actual Bible. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's like... That's why people are. pastors still get like a like a head start and stuff you know like he's like I've read it I know that he said this they're like oh thank God someone read it yeah I didn't read it yeah I didn't read it by the way I also the amount of arguments I've gotten in where I said I've read the whole Bible I have not but I've told people I've lied to people's face I'm like I've read all of it I know you gotta win the argument so yeah I'm gonna lie about my credentials yeah but it was interesting because it was like there's all these books that are taken out of it and that's crazy some of them they still have so like some of them they're like this was part of the Bible but we don't count it's part of the Bible because this is more about history in here, or this

contradicts the Bible. So it's like they have... Yeah, it's weird. But still the Bible contradicts itself. Even the... Yeah, yeah, of course. It's so funny. Oh, my God. That's crazy. But this one was so interesting because it's talking about Jesus went to Asia. Oh, cool. Like India. Because like...

Yeah, that place. Jesus had sushi. Saying that with such a straight face. He's one of my favorite moments of today. Yeah, I have no idea. Jesus had sushi. I did say that was such sincerity. I was like, Jesus had sushi.

That should be the name of your first album. Jesus had sushi. Oh, that's really, yeah, yeah, actually. I love that. You should do that. But I don't know where he went specifically. So, like, if you look, the Bible, like, Jesus, there's stuff about him very early on,

and then there's stuff about him, like, right before he dies. But there's a lot of in-between stuff that's just not there. And it would make sense that he would travel to, like, and learn about Buddhism because it's kind of like, like, that's interesting to that. Oh, that's so fascinating. There's a really funny book about that. About,

I, fuck, I don't remember what it is called. Is it the book where like a bunch of like big historical names kind of run into each other? No, I don't think so. Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

Yeah, it's Bill and Ted. No, it's, I think it's Chuck Paulina, or I forget how to, I don't know how to say. Oh yeah, Chuck Palanwick.

Yes, sure. It's a book about Jesus as a teenager. You know about Jesus as a 30-year-old man. You know just about a teenager. And it's fucking hilarious. It's really funny. Just a teenage, angsty Jesus.

It's just like a, you know, like a nine-year-old Jesus, like, killing a lizard and reviving it and, like, killing a... That's awesome. Why is everybody so mean to each other? It's like his mission statement. Yeah. There was a whole part, too, that was interesting about how... there's somebody named Ash Ashah or Asherah where there's a female God is married

in certain parts of the Bible. But they took that part out because it was contradictory. There are parts of the Bible where God's married. Oh my God. Who had the fucking access to that, right? He got divorced and ripped out to pages. That's so corrupt. And of course, you know, saying stuff like this,

like anyone who's like deeply religious, they'll be like, no, that's like bullshit. It'll just like bounce out of that information. but it's like so funny that... By the way, I'm also saying this... Oh, no, no. I'm saying this with... I watched like two minutes of it,

and I'm like, this is what I'm... It's like, I might be saying this completely wrong. Right. But there are scriptures that say that there's parts of the Bible where God had a wife, which is so interesting. But it also changes, interestingly enough. I was thinking about this, the dynamic of it all, because if they're saying God...

Some people were saying the interpretation might be that God had a wife, and, like, she was just X from the Bible. But then the other interpretation is that God is a... man and like two forces like that. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't it? It's like the most powerful being in the, like, why wouldn't it be all the genders or all concepts

or anything like that? Well, there is that. So like, because the way I was taught God and my dad's religious, but the way he taught me God was it's not, it's genderless. It's like this, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a being. Right. But it's interesting to think of it the other way around where it's two forces like a mother and a mother. Oh, like a masculine and feminine energy. Yeah, yeah. Like a yin and yang.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The male is obviously the goods. So interesting. This keeps reoccurring. I'm pretty sure it's Lamb by Christopher. Lamb, it definitely would be. That makes sense. Because lamb, that makes sense. That adds up to me.

But I could be wrong. You could be Fight Club 3. That's funny. The Jesus Chronicles. But yeah, so like, that's two ways to look at it because I was taught that God was like genderless. But then there's the interesting idea that like God was a man and woman force, which would make sense because they're like, God would act different ways in the Bible in certain times.

So, like, Old Testament would be, like, maybe the male force. Killing people being a real bitch? Yeah, just like women. Fellas. Come on. We all know God's a lady. Yeah. And she is pissed.

Mad at me. I love the people that do, like, say, like, uh, no, there's definitely a woman. God's definitely a woman. It's just so funny. Like, well, God killed everything and everyone except Noah and... You want to take on that? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. all of the bad things happen with that too. Yeah, this isn't psychologically revealing at all. Yeah, yeah. So a lady's giving kids cancer. All right, you can work with that. Yeah. But, yeah, there was that whole concept that it was a man and a woman, which, like, that made sense.

That's interesting to me. I was like, that actually makes a lot of sense. Oh, and then I learned a lot about the Muslim version of Jesus, because Jesus is in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's up going on with that? He's a prophet in Islam. Issa, I want to say his name is. The final prophet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because they have to do it better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. One more. Yeah, one more. A lot of people don't know that the Quran came out after the Bible. And another one. Another prophet. He, uh, it was weird stuff like,

Jesus talks as a baby, which is funny that, like, that's funny that, he like talks to like his dad. Who's Jesus' dad again? I should know this. God? Yeah. No, no. Earth Dad. Yeah, Joseph.

Yeah, he's like, talks to him as a baby. What a cuck, right? His wife's getting railed. Yeah. And that's what he comes up with. Yeah. But yeah, can I get another puff of that?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. You guys both really hitting the nicotine hard. Oh, yeah. It's fun. That's why I do it. I do it because the second I run out of thoughts in the podcast, I'm like, let me just put a bunch of nicotine. Maybe I'll get the thing going.

Yeah. And the truth is, I think it's slowing me down. Oh, well, you're taking too big of a hit. You're not to take a lighter hits. Lighter hits. That's not a bad idea. But like six in a row. But like six in a row.

Yeah. Yeah, do that. Do it right now. I just shit myself on here. Yeah, I begin into weird. The experience does fun. I joined this Facebook page that's the craziest one. And so it begins.

Yeah. Yeah. Can I just say one quick thing about history channel documentaries? I've been watching the food that built America documentaries. They're hilarious. They are, like, informative. The McGang Bang. The McGang Bang really transformed the early 90s.

Turn of the century. But they're, they almost always start in the middle of the story. All of the documentaries are like, well, you know Milton Hershey and his big empire. Let's go from there. No, I don't know. Fucking tell me about this. But the actors are terrible. Oh, yeah.

They're hilarious. but the one I watched recently was about Pizza, about Domino's and Pizza Hut. And the guy who found her, one of the guys who founded Domino's, his name is Dan Carney. That's pretty fun. Friend of the pod, Dan Carney. Enemy of the pod.

Enemy of the pod. Oh, yeah, enemy of the pod. Most exciting. You guys are the only ones I care about it. Yes, dude. Give me some of that spice. And the whole time, it's like, and then Dan Carney had a brilliant idea.

And I'm just like, no, he didn't. Yeah, I know Dan Carney. I know Dan Carney. He didn't come up with delivering pizza. Yeah. Pizza. That's his brilliant idea, which is pizza. I mean, basically, they, like, brought pizza to the Midwest. No one had pizza there before.

There was, like, pizza in, like, New England and New York, but thin crust, you know, barely any sauce and cheese, you know, like, people brought it from Italy. And they're like, well, let's just fucking bastardize this and everyone's going to love it. Yeah. Domino's is great. No. I hate that. I love Papa John's is actually my favorite pizza. Like, genuinely.

Whenever my sister does this, when she orders Domino's, she'll be like Domino's, Domino's. Like, she's being possessed, you know, because it's so evil. There's a call to Domino's, which I think is... They just have a phone number. Huh? Huh?

I got, like, a craving sometimes for Domino's. Yeah. I want bad pizza. That's what I'm with Papa John. But Papa John's, it's a different category of pizza. Yeah. So everybody's like, I said to my favorite pizza. It's not my favorite pizza.

I really like good Italian pizza. it's like, it's like a different thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I joined this Facebook group that might be the craziest one I've ever joined. So it's UFO or alien abductees. Cool. Said they've been abducted by animals. Half of them are people who are just taking a picture in like a dark room.

They're like, what do you guys think of this? I'm not going to say anything. They're like, I'm not going to push your mind in the right direction. I'm not saying this is in the UFO. But what are you guys think? And people are like definitely, because I wasn't the UFO one, but I want to take next level, like the people that have seen actual alien. Yeah, yeah.

And I have not seen a not blurry picture in there at all. It's just a blurious picture. Somebody's like, do you see a head there? And then, I mean, the sad part is a lot of people do have schizophrenia. But, you know, I try to see sad things in a positive light. So there's this one guy who... I try so very hard. Yeah, it is tough, but, you know, I try to...

There's this one guy who, it was funny because it's post. I was scrolling through. He's like, does anybody else on medication for schizophrenia? Do you still see the aliens when you take it? And just everybody in the page is commenting. like I was like oh shit okay this is what this is yeah yeah but the guy invented

the coolest thing I've seen in my life I'll show you guys out of the podcast it's called not taking your meds yeah the brilliance of this guy he has the most aliens he has this oven mitten and you know those plasma lights so it's not a

lava lamp but it's a it's like it's a stick and it's got a glass bulb over it yes and it has the electricity the purple electricity yeah yeah he attached one of those to a glove and he just has his glove with like beams of electric

it looks like a like a marvel super villain. What is this guy creating? That's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got schizophrenia? Yes. Makes sense. It makes sense. I looked at like a further part. His blast pose is like, anybody else? What kind of medicine for schizophrenia?

What were the responses? Where people like, oh, I missed those guys. I stopped taking mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people were like, I still see the aliens even with my medication. Oh, which ones are you taking? Yeah, I want those ones. Yeah, yeah. They're taking Flintstones, vitamins.

The aliens still keep appearing. But I'm that kind of schizophrenic. Just vitamin C deficient You have scurvy? That's why I love... My gums are bleeding. It's my favorite Mitch Hedberg joke. What is it?

When you're talking about all the pictures are blurry. Oh, yeah. I think Bigfoot is blurry. Yeah, yeah. And it's not the photographer's called. That's extra scary. Is it somewhere there was a large out-of-focus monster? I can love that.

That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. But it's just Yeah, because like, part of me was like, oh, maybe these people are seeing aliens and they're schizophrenic. But I was like, also like, I have friends with schizophrenic. You can take the medication. It's being so funny if aliens knew who was mentally ill and only

showed themselves to it. I'm such a dick. Nobody's going to believe you. Like Bill Murray goes around, just like saying weird shit to people and be like, no one's going to be like, no one's going to be able to. Yeah, good luck. Tell me about this. People are going to think you're crazy. Yeah. But it's interesting with the, we got,

10 minutes left, but it is interesting with the schizophrenia thing, because I had a friend who had it, and they know they have schizophrenia and they'll talk about other hallucinations that they've conquered. I'm like, that's crazy. Like, my buddy'd be like, yeah, so I thought these aliens were going to abduct me. I was fucking, we're giggling about it. Like, yeah, it's crazy. He goes, anyways,

can you give this necklace to somebody because it comes from the stars? And then you're like, oh. And you don't know how to talk about it because you can't just be like... It's like when you're in a dream and you're like, man, this is like a dream I had the other night, but you don't quite make the next step to be like, Oh, I'm in a dream again. Yeah, yeah, shit.

Whoa, just constantly being incepted. Yeah, that's like what schizophrenia is. Like, like, leave me alone, Leo. What are you doing? Yeah, he's like, I used to believe in aliens, but luckily the voices in my head told me that they're fake, so we're fine.

I'm pretty informed now. Yeah. That's right. I've always got really worried about, because everybody, you do, everybody has voices in their head. I know that sounds crazy, but like those are thoughts. Like my voice.

Right. Right. But it's like also, I mean, you have different versions of your voice. Yeah. I can put on a voice. My Luther Vandross is my favorite. He's got deeper voice, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I make his even deeper. That's your perception of it. It's my fucking head. Sometimes, especially if I'm high, I will just like make a conscious effort to be like, all right, tonight I'm going to think in the voice of someone else. And just like, they're my thoughts, but it's just, it sounds like like Jake is saying them to me or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I definitely have that. Or if I listen to a comic too much, I'll start to hear their voice and like telling the jokes. But that's, yeah, it's just like brain activity. Yeah, yeah. Like I, the weirds to be mushrooms.

I used to take mushrooms and then I would have a very conservative side of thoughts and then a very liberal side of thoughts. So I would be at like a music festival and I'd be like, these people should put some clothing on. And like, it was like telling me that was like wrong.

And there was also a part of my voice and was like, no, just be feeling it out. My favorite was I was I rose up mushrooms as a kid one time and I was listening to Kid Cuddy. And my brain went, do you really think Kid Cuddy is a good influence on you? And it started like, that was like a real, like genuine voice I had that was telling me like...

Actually, he's trying as hard as he can. He's overall a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like that. And I was like, in my head, I was like, I guess I got to do more research on Kid Cuddy to be like he's a good influence on me. But yeah, that's fascinating to think that like with schizophrenia, like it's like they experience that too, but they just believe that voice is like a real thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, we...

It'd be hard not to, you know? I think if I heard a voice like... that I wasn't in control of just happening in my head, I'd be like, oh shit, something's something going on. I gotta listen to this guy. Yeah, right, right. Because you also have delusions. That's how it's like, you have hallucinations, but a lot of it's the delusions. So it's like, you think,

you think like you're gonna make it in comedy. Yeah. You're not, you know? You're gonna fail. By the way, I just want to compliment you, Grant, you were so fucking good at eye contact. I've caught myself looking away because he's staring too good, in a good way. Like, that's, you have some real confidence with that. You're gonna go places.

Yeah, yeah. You just stare right to the interesting when you're in conversation and like the eye contact is like too long there's like a sort of like oh i know that's what i'm saying yeah and then you just like break for a second then you're like all right i can get i can get back to you yeah yeah now i have the confidence it's like it's weird it's like revealing i'm like oh like i look away like briefly i hope the listeners can pick up on on just how good my eye contact is they're gonna know i mean i clearly just said it for a couple minutes so well let's give all the listeners and viewers some eye contact just the clip of this will just be us staring into the cameras. Well, you got to do it too. You got to be quiet. What do you guys want to promote? No, no, no, no.

Just look into the camera. I can't. Isn't it uncomfortable? I can't, I can't. I've got a hot new product I'd like to promote. It's called the misleading rock. Interesting. You may have heard of...

It sounds like a one-of-the-kind kind of thing. I don't think anybody's ever created something similar to this. No, I mean, there's like a similar product on the market. There is, I'll give them that, you know, and we're not first to market, but we're better. So it's, you may have heard of the, I don't want to say the name on the podcast. I don't want to, I don't want to embarrass anyone with their shitty ideas. Deception stones, you know, it's, I never even heard of this. I mean, and why should you? But the misleading rock. Let me, let me tell you about this. Pretty, pretty good. What is the misleading rock? Well, basically, you hold it close to your balls. Okay. And, and, and it goes, hmm. That's good. Okay.

That's misleading. It's made from horses. It's misleading because I thought you were going to say you put it in your ass. And then you said your ball. So that's why I was misled. That's how I misled. That's why I misleaning talks. And that's the misleading part.

And then you have like a, you have something? Oh, yeah. In the words of Daniel Plainview from the great film, there will be blood. You are now my competitor. Great movie. Yeah, yeah. Great movie. His kid is deaf.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The whole time. For like most of it. Yeah. And there's a little push and boots in it. And pussy and pussy. It's a whole thing.

He's got a baby pussy. It's a wild time. And Shrek rises from the grave. Out of the oil. Out of the oil. The bog oil. For the listeners in the, you know, who don't know, Adam Christopher,

enemy of the Graham, is, great. I like what you did. He's one of the co-founders and the creator of Deception Stones, a wonderful product, a hilarious endeavor. Thank you very much. I'll pay you afterwards.

If you want to speak on that. No, I'll just pay you afterwards. Yeah, yeah, check out Deceptionstones.com. It's a lot of fun. It's very, very fun. And did you guys say your Instagram handles? Oh, Adam Christopher. Just Adam Christopher.

Wait, is it Adam Christopher or just Adam Christopher? Oh, Adam Christopher. Well, I keep saying, oh, Adam Christopher. Oh, oh. No, no, but it's not. Oh, oh. It's just Adam Christopher. So there's like more than one R?

Yeah, there's like three R's. Very hard R. Graham comedy. Perfect. That's also my Venmo handle. Oh, yeah, yeah. Send him money updated. Yeah, it is.

Peace.