Morning Good - Boys Vs. Girls - Episode 153

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Kevin McGloin and Zuri Durham return to the show for today's episode. They talk about the QAnon-Michael Jackson innocence theory, getting drunk at school, and the Four Horsemen of Media.Thanks to Kevin and Zuri for returning to the program. Check both of these guys out online at their links below and give them a follow for more info on anything they have coming up. Kevin is on Instagram @kevinmcgloin and Zuri is on Instagram as well @zuri_sure. Catch them both in New York City at the show they co-produce, Prohibition Comedy.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. Gary, really?

I love that. Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, we're here with Zuri Durham. What's up? What's up? I didn't fuck that up, right? No, you did not.

All right. And Kevin McGloin. How are you doing? Back again. And you guys are. offending Michael Jackson. That's how we're starting. Yeah. Let's get right into it. A bit of an old topic, but yeah, because I was saying originally, it was just funny that I remember the first thing I heard. Well, first of up, Michael Jackson, I was terrified of him because I saw a picture of him on a

magazine. And I learned about him before his music. I was like, who's that guy? I learned about Michael Jackson and like the worst of Michael Jackson. Right. And I had nightmares about this guy because my mom was like, it was just when he looked really scary. Oh, with the sunglasses and the nasty nose and all that. Yeah, yeah. And my mom was like, I was like, who's a guy? my mom was like, that's a scary guy. And that's all I heard about it. And I was like, who is this guy? I didn't know about the molestation stuff.

And then when he got in trouble for molesting, I heard on the radio, or apparent molesting, I heard on the radio, they were like, the radio guy was like, yeah, just leave Michael Jackson alone. And I was like, nowadays, that would be crazy to take any stance like that on a, on a public radio station. What radio station? Just like a local thing.

Local in Florida. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Of course, the Florida man is like, leave Mike alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like if you like, if you did a, Like nowadays, like any Me Too situation, if any radio station was like, leave Kevin Spacey alone. They would be fired like on the spot.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, no matter what the evidence is. Is Kevin Spacey more confirmed though, you know, that he did? I don't know. What did he do? I thought he was just like accused of doing something, right? I don't know what he did.

He was banging like, I don't know. I think like teenage, like older. It sounds bad to be like how old. But it matters. Older teenage boys is what it was. overseas boys what's that kids from like Europe and stuff

like teenage boys from like Europe I like that matters to sure he's like were they I was going to say I was like well then they're like adults at like what like 16 right that's a funny way

Kevin's face these kids have already drank and wine when they were 10 sure yeah you know the age of consent is 13 in Japan really?

Yeah yeah that's fucking wild they like there's so much more ahead of us they're too relevant of like a country to have like a have like such a low age.

Yeah, I gotta get what you're saying. They show up to the UN, you know what I mean? Like, they can talk, like they're prominent. They're in like that, you know, like prominent circle. That's a hilarious idea that like the UN ambassador just has a 13 year old girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't know how I feel about this. She's learning, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That is wild, but it does like, I don't know, it does change. Like, you hate to ask like how old is the kid, but it completely matters. There's a ginormous difference. I mean, none of it's cool. You should never fuck people under the age of 18. Yeah. Well, I guess, all right.

Like, Tyga and, like, Kylie Jenner. I don't know you guys remember that. Like, Tyga was, what, like, 25 maybe? Or, you know, 22 or 23. And Kylie Jenner was, like, 17. Really? Yeah. I don't know that.

Yeah. This was, like, in, like, 2015. And he got a lot of heat for it. But at the same time, it's like she's, you're 23. She's 17 going on, 18. And y'all are rich. So it's like. Sure.

Is there way to measure brain capacity? Because that would also be very interesting. Like a genius. Like, you know those, if you're like one of those kids who went to Harvard when you're like 15, like, is that really a pedophile? Because you're smarter than everybody. You know what I mean? It's like, if that kid had sex with me now, he would know more.

So he's taking advantage of my dumbness. Yeah, but like smart kids for the most part, the ones that go to Harvard, they're kind of innocent. They don't get laid, you know? Yeah. So, like, behind on everything sexual. So, like, in fact, it might be the opposite. So if you fuck a 16-year-old who's already been fucked since. they were 10.

So then it's okay. She's been guzzling contracts for 13. All right. We were starting off a little property here. What the fuck. We got to get. We got to, let's get into it.

I said, European boys are adults. You're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, you can bless them because I wasn't the first to it.

That's how it goes. Yeah, dude, I don't know. So I guess back to Michael Jackson. Yes. The reason I was, I was ambivalent about it. I didn't really know much. Then I watched the Q&on documentary.

But this is hilarious. This information, I had no idea that Q&N was pro Michael Jackson. Yes, yes. The most anti-pedophile group is pro Michael Jackson. They hate pedophiles, but they love Michael Jackson. Like, they, they, he's like, they, they look up to this guy. So I guess their argument is that he had so much power over, like, the Hollywood elite, um, because he owned like the Beatles cattle. He owned like a lot of parts of the, the music industry. And they were saying, because he had too much power, they needed to discredit him and with something, you know, rather than just, like, kill him or whatever. So they planted these, you know, these kids touching rumors and all this stuff because...

But didn't the kids say it, though? McCauley Colkin said he said he didn't. Said he did it. McColley, right. He said he did it. He said he did it. Right. Yeah.

And was that Chappelle who said, like, if there was ever a kid? They would. Yeah. You would be here. Yeah. But it's like the other kids, though, there are other kids that came out and say that he molested. They're lying. Yeah, they want that bag.

They want that bag. But also, also the documentary, they were saying that all Michael Jackson's boys, all of them were like, Michael was the biggest, like, Coosound, like, would fuck a lot of women. Like, really into women.

So they couldn't, like, conceive that, like, and they said the same for R. Kelly's crew, too. Yeah, but there's a confirmed video of him. I'm not playing. I play. I play. Yeah. Nobody's doubting R. Kelly got pussy. We're just arguing about what age that pussy was.

That is true. But also, like, Michael's appearance, like, all the other stuff. It's so obvious, right? So it's easy for them to plant that shit on them. I feel like the people that end up being pedophiles, we never, like, knew. Or, like, we never... Okay, so what you're saying...

I'm following what you're saying. There's not too many pedophiles that are just out in the open about, like, what they're doing. Like, Michael's very public about the kid's shit, you know? Right, but I'm saying the other... Man, that's secure, all right? So what you're saying is the rumors got spread by a group, But the CIA.

Okay, but you're saying the CIA? Globalist. The feds. But that the kids admitted to it, so there were the kids with the ones that the CIA is telling. Crisis actors. Okay.

My thing is... I'm just doing Alex Jones. Some of these kids came out when they were like adults, like after Mike died, you know? Right. And for me, that don't even count. Like, that don't count.

That's out the window. That don't count. I'm sorry. You just apologize, mid-sent. You're apologizing for saying it or apologize for the, oh, you're like, sorry, that doesn't count.

No, no, I'm saying. I'm saying like it doesn't count. Like, he's already dead. Like, what are you going to do? Like, what are you getting out of this? Interesting. Well, I think the thing is that... In terms of Mike Jackson.

Right. Trying to get that a state, you know? I'm not, you know. Yeah. Interesting. See, I think he did it. I'm going to say, hey, I'm an open-minded person. I'll tell you, I'll listen to any perspective on it.

I think he did it because he admitted to sleeping with a little boy in the same is I don't think you take that risk unless you're getting laid out of it. Because it's like there's certain things that the risk is so high and you you only risk certain things for a nut. That makes sense. So it's like for him to sleep in bed with a boy that's not his son, the risk of that is so high for the reward of not fucking him. For him,

I'm not saying that's a reward for me. I'm upset for somebody that's into that. Yeah. I don't know. Like, I don't, I'm just glad we started on a good, on a good foot on this episode.

It's like one of those things where I just have a feeling, you know, a feeling about it. I got a feeling. It's not that strong. Right. If someone came out with like, hard evidence, like a video of him like that's a kid. I feel like, I would be like, oh, you know, it checks out.

It's like, where's, where's, our Kelly, you got the tape. It's like, all right, like, you got the glove. Right. OJ. With Mike, it's more like, okay, we think he did it. We have something, but you never really. Isn't the kid the glove in this scenario? Them kids is lying, man.

Okay. Also, though, also though, like, I feel like really powerful pedophiles, right? Epstein, Sandusky. They're like, you, their body. count of kids. It's like crazy. The fact that there's only like a hand... You're telling me, Mike, how powerful he was,

you know what I mean? That he was only capable of fucking a few kids. That's very interesting. It's like, you wouldn't dabble. It's interesting the idea that he was like dabble in kids. Actually, it's not for me. It's not really something you try out. He wouldn't do it in his home.

He'd do it in some like, you know, foreign islands somewhere. That's how they all do it. You got to go somewhere. Or Michael Jackson's been banging kids and then murdering them. And we don't know about it. Right.

He's been feeding him. to like the giraffes in Neverland for years. There's a thousand kids we haven't heard of. Because that's kind of like the Cosby thing where it's interesting because you're like, that's a giant number of people that came out. Because if you're into something for that long, there's going to be, I get what you're saying. If you have that much power, it's not something

you're doing a couple times. Was, wasn't Cosby supposed to release a new hour? He's touring, yeah. I think he's about to tour, yeah. Is he touring though? Last I heard he was gearing up to do shows, right? Like, he's about to do a run. I mean, when

I last saw, he was still doing shows. He would sit down and with his one eye falling out his head. Has anyone like, has anyone gone to one of these? No, I've talked about the morality of going because I don't know the answer on this because it seems very morally wrong because you're giving money to somebody who's done something very wrong. But I'm like, respect the art, not the artist. Yeah, but I'm like, I don't know.

It's still like, it's weird because it's like now he has money to keep rape big a dead. But I don't know because also at the end of the day, it's like everything. There's no way he can do anything now. There's no way his dick works. You see how fucking decrepit he is? He might be rich enough to have... He'll have an Iron Man's suit. He might have a very,

a very expensive dick pill. Yeah, yeah. Or... What if he becomes just a rapist cyborg? That would be bad. Yeah. Just like the most technology advanced thing. It's like,

there are people that have like no legs and they get like the most bionic things. Yeah. So it's fixable. I don't think, look, Bill is guilty. right like bill and mike for me are two different things right right right because it's it's everyone with the same story this and that da da da da da with the kids it's totally different like you come out

15 years later with a whole different story than it was before interesting you know with Cosby I could see him doing that yeah I also think the thing with the interesting people brought out Michael Jackson on the other side of it is that his uh his balls hadn't dropped like they did when they did a like a, it may have just been a rumor, but I'm not sure it was fully confirmed, but did he, he was chemically castrated by his father to keep his voice high. Yes. I didn't know that. Yeah.

Yeah. That is, and that is a thing with, uh, what? I think it's, uh, castrato. Yeah. No, but I think that's like someone who's been castrated, but. There's been chemically castrated. So, so, so leto. I think that's like the musical term for like the person with the high voice.

Right. Yeah. It hits the, it's all the high notes. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's something to dance.

Yeah, Joe Jackson was a fucking monster from your own son. God damn. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. But that's an interesting concept because then they're like, okay, he didn't have a sex drive. So that's why he, uh. Right, right. He's just, you know, fucked up looking for companionship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because his kids, like, those kids are not his. It was not his kid. Why are we doing 45 minutes on the mind? Because I don't like you get here. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. That's where we started.

Yeah. Holy shit. How about we go back? back to how Kevin hits women from the last episode. Yeah, so that's what we did. So we spent like 30 minutes talking about... He fought a woman in middle school. It's not like that.

It was not middle school. It was elementary school. I was in the third grade. This girl was in the fifth grade. And... I forget her name. But she was a larger black girl. And at the time, like, girls, like,

they hit puberty in fucking fifth grade, you know? That's why... All right, no. I just have called you. It's fine. But they're honestly, like, almost at that point, like, I mean, we, we, we did. like they are more mature than guys are, right?

So this girl was like, she was, she was just bigger naturally, but then also like more mature. And like, so what she would do in the, in the playground during recess with like, she'd just like, she was kind of like fuck up kids and like, you know, pull their shirt like over their head and like rip it out.

Oh my God. Just terrorizing people. And it was now my turn for that to happen to me. And I said, no way. And, um, yeah, I, I just,

I kind of fought her off real quick. Three straight right hands to the nose. I think one last time. I don't know you. what's that? I thought you said one last time. Did I say one? Yeah, he's digging himself

a deeper hole. The truth comes out. A little combo, a little. It was kind of more just like a pop, yeah, like kind of like a hockey fight, you know? Yeah. And yeah, you know, shouldn't fuck with me.

My shirt didn't get stretched too much, you know? Didn't get in trouble? You know, it was the early 2000s, so, you know, you could get away with some stuff. That is an interesting thing about getting in trouble. I'm just realizing it now because I get so nervous about,

like, you know, putting stuff on the podcast, you worry about getting canceled and stuff. It's somebody that as an adult, you can still get in trouble. Yeah. It's like, it feels very much like, I don't know why I'm expecting just a meeting with my boss and my parents or like, we heard what you said on your podcast. Right. That, that energy is still in me because I used to get, I was one of those kids, I got sent to the office all the time.

And that feeling where you were just like, oh, God damn it. Like, I got in trouble. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The worst. I got to explain this to my mom again. And how about, how about going home after like being in the office, not knowing

if they called your parents or not. Oh, yeah. It would have ever happen. No, no, actually, sometimes they wouldn't tell me, they wouldn't tell my parents occasionally. No, no, that's what I'm saying. So, like, you never knew. And then sometimes, you know,

your parents would be like, oh, what's up? What happened at school today? And you'd have to kind of feel it out and see if like, like, they knew, you know, or if they were just like fucking with you. Every time, like back then where we had the home phone. So they were called a home phone. So you had to get home first to delete the voice. Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah. That's hilarious, too. Yeah. It would go straight home. Like, if you call, you go straight home and be like, all right, I have to delete this. No, for sure. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, yeah.

I never had to deal with that. My parents were also very cool about me getting in trouble because half the time it was the same shit that they were like, okay. Like, it would be like, I would get trouble for talking in class. That was like all I would just talk, I would talk, I would talk. And I'd get in trouble for like talking. And they're like, it's so hard for them to be like, don't be talking in that border. They kind of understood. Like, they were pretty.

But then I got in trouble for like a lot of other stuff that was like, like I told this girl, this girl broke me up with my like third grade girlfriend. and I was like, I wish I could stick a gun up her ass and shoot it. Which, you know, you can't say. It's Florida, baby. Yeah. The schools are, you have a rat to have a gun. You cannot stick it in another kid's ass. Sticking your ass and shoot it.

It was so specific. And I told like 10 people that I'm surprised at, like, got to the front office. And then when they got mad at me, I was like, no, I said, but I did not say ass. I thought that was the whole thing. That's some shit right there. That's crazy. I had such a fucking mouth, and I was kidding. My parents don't curse at all.

Like, neither are my parents curse. I am just the dirtiest mouth person. And I love it. It still feels so good to say bad things. Okay, I feel like you knew like, like, okay, so I would say dirty shit as a kid, but I was so behind and stuff. Like, I didn't even know what I was saying. Really?

Yeah. Oh, I knew so well. Like, I was like, I remember like, somebody brought up the C word to me. I remember I was like, I can't tell you what the C word is. And I was like, oh, fuck, dude. I was like, I'm going to find it out. And like, I was like digging throughout. I'd ask older kids.

Like, it was like, I was a detective on a hunt. I was like, have you, do you know the C word? and they'd be like, I can't talk about this. I didn't know the C word to like the seventh grade. Why am I calling it to see? Yeah, I do. Cunt, cunt. Fine, you could say it.

I didn't know. I had the same thing for like five minutes. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I'm talking about earlier. Earlier, I'm talking about, you know, punching a girl in the face in the third grade, you know. But now I'm like the C word.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I felt the same energy. I don't know why. I'm in my own apartment. I could say cunt. I didn't know about the word cunt until like seventh grade probably. I was very behind on a lot of the cool shit. Yeah.

My phone. Oh, you go ahead. I didn't hear about the word cunt until I watched Jersey Shore and Ronnie called Sammy a cunt. Yeah, yeah. But it's probably about the word. Like, what was that word he said? Yeah, was it was it answered? It was.

Well, well, it was. No, it wasn't. But you could tell because I called the fucking cunt. I think they had like the subtitles and shit. Yeah. But that's when I've heard the word cunt for the first time. Yeah. It's weird.

You ever hear a curse word? You can't tell what it was in cable. You're like, I can't tell if that guy said, this or that. Sometimes it's hard with like the beeps. Yeah. Yeah. They used to beep out the word blowjob. And I knew what a blow job was, but I thought they were beeping out the word fuck. So I was like, what's a fuck job?

And so I think for a year I was like, yeah, he gave that girl a fuck job. That was just sounds insane. I think Rita and I want one. The guy's like, I'm here for a beep job. And I'm like a fuck job. That's a cool way to call sex. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed this fuck job. It sounds like, something professional.

Like that's what James Bond would say after fucking a woman. Right. Hope you enjoy the fuck job. We were talking about the radio earlier and like kind of, you know, censoring stuff on cable TV. Like songs on like FM radio, how crazy some of those sensors are. Like mask off like when it's like Molly Perkissette, they censor, you can't even hear Molly and Perkissette.

Oh yeah. You know, but they can fucking advertise pharmaceuticals fucking on our TVs all day. But we can't hear the words Molly and Perkisset on a fucking song. Yeah, it is kind of crazy. Yeah, and then they could have like, yeah. You can say guns. You can talk about shooting up a motherfucker, but there's certain words and certain things. You just, they'll be like, nope.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird how much it's shit. Because when I was a kid, the N-word they could say on TV, but they couldn't say fuck or shit. I remember for Kanye's gold digger, they bleeped out, leave your ass for a white girl. That's a weird one. Yes, yes. They bleep out, leave your ass for her, and they would bleep out white girl. Huh.

that's really weird. That was the other that was like, it was like white people probably like, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's weird, yeah. What do you think? Yeah, I don't know. I can't. Are they trying to stop that message or something? Like, like,

like, I don't know. Right. Yeah, I think some people they're just so uncomfortable with any conversation. Oh,

I know what it is. It's promoting interracial relationships which are disgusting and I don't approve. Yeah, that was a different time with that. Yeah, right?

Yeah. Yeah, that was, that is interesting. Like, it probably, it probably, It wasn't necessarily that, but it probably No, it definitely wasn't, though.

It was some side of them being like, because what's the line he says in... When he gets on, he leaves your ass for a white girl. And I think that was supposed to be kind of like a... The implication was that he shouldn't do that or, right? That's like the... Yeah, I think what it was, I feel like, you know, because he's shitting on gold diggers the whole time.

But I think he, in that one line was like acknowledging, like, why they got to chase like money. a little bit because like the guy you could stick with him and then he'll just leave you for a white girl. Oh, okay. That's a good way of it. Yeah. Or it's, I don't know, I'm talking on my ass. Or it could be like a dialogue.

I don't know. Or it could be like a dialogue of someone telling the girl like why you're like why you need to, I don't know. I'm out of that. We're out of our fucking element right now. Let's get back to, I don't know. I don't know. Pedophiles or something. Yeah. Yeah. You got to steer this shit

I'm fucking lost. What's the most trouble? It's so funny because you were talking about how you didn't know that your parents, you necessarily were in trouble. My thing is I used to get hammered and also I say blackout too much. For some reason, whenever I talk about getting drunk, I say blackout. I've only blacked out probably like 10 times a mile. I'm 15 probably. I like saying blackout though. Because it's so much energy. Yeah, it's got this energy. But I feel like it's the people that actually black out like the pussies. They're the ones who are like, wait, you like you actually blacked out. like you don't remember anything. It's like, no, it's fucking hammered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just blackout drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was really drunk. Yeah, yeah.

But the couple of guys I've blacked out, I remember I used to have no idea if I was in trouble. And then I'd go downstairs. And my dad's always, like, reading the Bible in the morning. He's like, he's so different than me in a lot of ways. Like, he does incurs. He gets like, he has his cup of coffee in the morning. He's slowly sipping it, reading the Bible by like the fire. And, uh, you know, he's so much like, you see Malcolm in the middle.

Yeah. He's identical to the dad, how. Okay, okay. Like just goofy, tube shock wearing. Yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't know because sometimes you'd be like, you'd close the book and be like mad. But sometimes you'd be like, hey, good morning, Michael.

I'm like, thank God I did not get in trouble. But I have to gauge it. And my mom would always say the same thing. It would be as I am blown away by your behavior. And I'm like, at this point, you shouldn't be blown away. Your dad would give you the silent treatment though? Not that's a little bit. It would be great if he just like went to a Bible verse

that was relevant to the trouble you got in. Didn't say he was like, what do you think it is? He's like, you piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Read this. One of my favorites is I remember one time I came home, and I remember, because I was seeing double. But I still remember because for a while I didn't black out.

I would just get really drunk and throw up. But I remember I came home. And as well as where I remember riding my bike, I used to get drunk and ride a bicycle, which is like the worst thing to fucking drive when you're drunk. And I kept falling into the bushes. And then I'd come home, and I remember so clearly, my mom was like, are you drunk?

And I was like, no. My brother's laughing. He goes, he's fucking hammered. He's super drunk. And then my dad goes, I think he's fine. Like my dad, I remember my dad like, I'm like, there's no way he doesn't know that I'm hammered right now.

Right, right. Yeah. No, I mean, that was a, that was a skill like you had to learn if you were getting fucked up at a young age. He was coming home. Because you would still come home kind of early, I feel like when you were younger.

And just having to act sober or like not really fucked up. Got to play it off. Just go straight to your room. Yeah. Yeah. I pulled that move. Then you immediately.

Oh, I would be like, I got to shower before I go to bed. Yeah. just fucking take like a 40 minute shower. I would practice for a little bit. Like I'd be like, pretend to me my parents. Pretend me my parents. Sure.

I haven't been drinking tonight. Okay. I'm good. I would go like for like smoking weed or whatever. Like I would go before I went home like me and my buddies, we would go into a CVS and like get some spray deodor and put it on it. Which is like, you know, completely fucking paranoid.

But you know, you're a kid. So I would just spray to chill over and yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I never, I never got caught smoking weed. I only got caught.

like some kid like spread a rumor that I was like a drug dealer and there's one of a smoking pot and they're like we're in drug testing I was like I smoked pot but a lot of times they drug test me when I'm hammered in my urine

would literally smell like booze probably and then they'd be like yeah it doesn't no drugs here your school would drug test? No my parents oh oh damn yeah yeah which I would always just do worse drugs

like I'd smoke spice I'd take cough medicine I'd do stuff like that because I'm like yeah it doesn't show up on a drug test how is spice I've always been curious I've been terrified

You're the first white man to ever say that he smoked spice. I never heard someone positively for K2 spice. Like it's never. What time we ripped it, we got a water bottle bong and we covered it and it was like plastic. It's like I used a pen cap, which is plastic to put in as the stem for the bomb. One of those bolt things, you know what I'm talking about the metal bolts? I put that on the end. And I filled it with tinfoil, smoked that and then drank a four loco.

It's just like the craziest. It's like that's the worst thing to put into a 14-year-old. Yeah, the fucking chemicals there. And then you're expected to, like, sit through class the next day and, like, pay attention. Well, the funniest was this part, too, where, like, and by way, this is all while I was on Vivance, which is basically Adderall. Right, right. Well, I guess they would, you know, they counterbalance one another.

Yeah. No, I don't know. You'd be locked right in. Yeah. Adderall and, uh, what's it called red or four loco do not counterbalance. They double. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there used to be thing where day drinking was easier to get away with as a kid because you'd have more time to sober up. You'd be like I have like five hours to, uh, day drinking like, do you have fun? Or is it like a Saturday. Oh, okay.

All right. Yeah, like, a Saturday like, noon. If you could do that, then by you go out there, like, oh, he was just playing with his friends all day. And then you come back. Built difference in Florida. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't like know about day drinking until like college. See, we had the opposite.

We had this thing where we didn't know what was correct or incorrect. So I had friends that would drink in school. They're like, what? It's just like drinking on a Saturday night. And you're like, you don't know. That's it. But even in my school, like 11th and 12th grade, like my class would start drinking more. They would bring like vodka to school and shit like that.

They would never do that before. But I guess when you start to break out, you're about to leave school. You're like, I don't give a fuck no more. You're just like, I don't give a fuck. Dude, I haven't really got drunk and like rap battle to teacher. Like hammered in front of the whole class. That's so fucking funny that it got to that. Yeah.

What's the craziest, like, middle school stories that you guys got? I've told it a bunch. I took mushrooms and told them myself one time. That's pretty bad. One time we took... Oh, I got... All right. Yeah, let me hear.

They've heard mine too much. Not that crazy, but like just, I don't know, good, good, good wholesome fun between some boys. So we created all the boys in my grade. We created this Facebook page. And just like would just want, we would rank all the girls, but like we would also just like, just roast them. And just like, people would. just writing like just the most horrific shit. There was this girl who like dyed her hair, like pink, and her name was Leia.

And someone was like, yeah, Leah, Leah now looks like a stripper named Vegas. Just like, it was like comedy writing in there. Yeah, just like, you know, all that stuff. And then so they found out about the page. And we all had to go to the dean's office. And they sat us down all at the same time after school. It was a long ass hallway. They were fucking like 50 of us, just in line.

like waiting to get fucking scolded by this guy in there for it pretty well. So you bullied somebody? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. My worst one for me. I like to grow. No, no, no.

That was, shit. For me, shit. I was in sixth grade. I didn't get in too much trouble. I didn't get too much trouble for this one. But I was in sixth grade and we had a substitute. And by the end of the class, So we were just being so fucking rowdy.

And the sub was like, if you guys don't get it under control, we're not leaving. Remember back in the day where they were like, oh, we're going to hold you until you guys just like act and you get nervous. You know what I'm saying? It's like, oh, 3.30 and this motherfucker. So it was this one girl, Alana, she was just doing a lot in the back of like the classroom and shit. She was doing a lot. You know, motherfuckers just be talking. You know, you got to put back in the day she put the chair on the desk.

And you know, you like line up by the door and you know, you do the whole thing. Right. leave. So she was just, her and her group of friends were doing a lot. These other kids in the room were doing so much. And for some reason, the sub made me meet a person to try to get everyone in check. I don't know why, right? So I'm talking to the dudes over there trying to get them in check. They're giving me no respect. They're just like zuri. I'm like little ass zirri and shit, right? So I go to Alana and like her table and she's sitting down and like talking and shit. And the sub was like chairs up and hoodies off.

So Alana had her hoodie on, right? I didn't know Alana was wearing a wig. So when I reached to take her hoodie off, I did it low-key, like mad aggressive, like, low-key, like, yo, hoodies off. I took off her hoodie and her wig in front of like the whole like classroom and shit. And she was fucking crushed. Like she was like, oh my God. Like ran out like the classroom and shit. And I was like, oh, my God.

I felt like a piece of shit. I felt like a piece of shit. Did everybody get in line after she was gone? Probably after she came back from the bathroom, yeah, because it was pretty quiet after that. It was like, oh, shit. The nigs are, oh, you go get fucked up. I was.

Moral of that story, just hit her in the face. And then she would have had to. You wouldn't have had to embarrass her and create this whole thing. Just hit her. Three strikes. I don't know what is worse. Like, I don't know what's worse... If she'd be better off.

If she was punched... You obviously never hit women, but I don't know if she's better up. How old were you? I was like six or... Maybe it was like 12, I think, maybe. No. Sixth grade.

Okay, six grade. Yeah, yeah. I still feel guilty about being a dick about your story. I was, I was just waiting. No, no, no. It was horrible. It was fucking horrible.

No matter where you went. I just thought there was like more to it and I was like trying to think of it. I couldn't even fucking remember. It was more just like how fucking fired up we were about it. Just like boys versus girls shit, you know? And I just love bashing women.

So I don't know. That's why it was such a favorite of mine. And the teen brought me in and he like printed my thing out what I said about this girl. I didn't even remember what it was. And he was like, would you say this to her face? And I was like, yeah. That's like, what's what you mean? I'm in sixth grade, motherfucker.

We're like, we say crazy. We're the story. Yeah, that's hilarious. That was the thing, too, the, uh, yeah, the cyberbullying stuff was funny. We get, I'd get in full Facebook fights where people be like, just out of the blue, they'd be like, show up here. will fuck you up. And I would talk so much shit.

I would say people I could kick their ass that I would never be able to actually fight. But I'm like, yeah, I'll say it on Facebook and then the fight will get broken up at some point. Yeah, yeah. How about fights? You get into any of those? Yeah, I've been in a lot of fights.

But like never like ones where I'm really winning. Either gets broken up or like I punched Paxton my producer. I punched him in the face one time over something just really dumb. I've punched so many. I've gotten so many fights with my friends. Yeah. I've got very few fights with strangers.

I got caught. Couple, yeah, yeah. I kind of, I don't know. I haven't been one in a while. Yeah, I was about to say, I probably count on my hand how many fights I've been in the last like 15 years of some shit.

Yeah, yeah, no. Like serious ones, like, yo, weird. Like, you know, like actual fight? I just can't get that angry, man. Like, to want to fucking, like, fight. Like, people always break it up before is anything really done. It has to be, like, someone personal to,

like, very close to you for you to really fight, for it, you know, to get 30 seconds off actually fighting. Yeah, we had, we'd always have big ones too. Like it was like, people would show up, like, you'd get posted out on Facebook, and then we'd have like probably like 50 kids show up. But we had one. It was, this is how fucking white we are. This thing called the So Napa Grill, which is like a nice little like grill.

And they're like meeting behind, basically the equivalency to like me me behind the olive garden or something like that. And these guys show up and I remember this one dude. One of my friends is like, this guy's crazy. Like he one time wrote like a letter to his family one time. Love the dude, by the way, just in case he's listening. but he wrote a, he tried to, I seen him try to fight a teacher before. He wrote a letter to his family one time. There's like, I might not come back from this fight when he's going to fight somebody from a different school.

And this dude like, damn, yeah, I'm serious. What was to fight? Who was he fighting? Yeah, just some guy who probably called him gay or something. But it's like, that was like a serious back then. And there's probably a third of us behind this grill. And from down the street, this guy takes his shirt off and he goes, he goes, are you so and so?

And the guy was like smoking a joint because the other guy thought he was just going to in just because he's like, fuck this guy. And he just didn't know how crazy this guy was. And I watched my friend just fuck this dude up and knee him in the face on somebody's front lawn. And there's like just 40 people. And the guy, this random like dad is just outside his house calling the police. Yeah. On the dude, just getting need in the face. And it was just like, some of those high school fights is like, dude, those kids could like kill somebody because like that anger they have. It's just like so. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, that's that, those are always like the cringes parts of like street fight clips is like afterwards, like the guy is like knocked out

they fucking hit him in the case. Yeah. There's four more times. Yeah, yeah. That's what he's got back out the video. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. This was cool. And the guy said basically, he was like, yeah, no, I'm, he's like, I'm done. I'm done. He's like, all right, it's waiting. And they all left. Yeah. Yeah. Not to bring it back to beating women, but one of the all-time great, like, you know, world star, like fight clips. I don't know if you guys ever saw it. It was, uh, they were on the

bus, they were on a bus, like a public transportation bus, male bus driver. And this, uh, I guess this black lady's giving him a lot of shit. And then I think she, like, eventually, like, he's telling her to sit down. He eventually hits him. And then he stops the bus. And he's like, he's like, you're going to learn now. You're going to learn now. And everybody's like, oh, shit, you're going to learn now?

And then he just fucking uppercuts the shit out of her. Jesus Christ. Takes her by the hair and throws her out of the bus. Oh, unbelievable. I want, I want you guys to realize this. Look how happy Kevin is to tell a story about black women getting punched in the face. Yeah. He's so excited.

Hold on. Hold on. The bus driver was black. So, you know, he's just going to use this as a black on black violence statistics. Chicago. He's going to use this in his next argument. He's going to make a Facebook pie chart about this. Now, listen, it wasn't, it wasn't, that wasn't about race.

Sometimes you are trying to paint the picture of like what happened. Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing. Like, how do you tell a story without saying someone's race? No, sure. Because if I said, like, the way I explained it, right, you're like, ah, you know, whatever. that's kind of unfortunate that it happened, but if I was like, it's a white

girl, we would be like, oh, no, poor white girl, you know? Well, I have a question. When you tell a story about two black guys, do you say it was two black guys? If you're talking to another black person. I probably say, yeah, two niggas was out here. No, I'm saying, no. I say, yeah, I say, yeah, two black dudes, yeah. So if you were telling a story about two black guys to another black guy,

you would say two black guys. I'd probably say, yes, two niggers. Right, but the implication is that, yeah, yeah, they're still telling. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, like, yeah, them two niggas over there? Yeah, I was saying, yeah. Yeah. And if it was two white guys, you'd be two white guys walked up. I was, which means, if I was telling the story to, like, a white dude or if it was just

two white dudes walked up, I would say, no, it's, everyone is a, it's a nigger to me, Mike. It depends on the story, too, though. Yeah. Like, if that, sometimes it does matter. If that story was, like, like. On the context of it, yeah. Yeah, that story's just about, like, a couple people, like, walking down the street, you know. he might still like say what race there are.

I don't know. It depends on the first. But I'm not going to lie. That's always the thing now. That's kind of where your mind goes. Someone's like telling you a story and they don't say to race. Like after 10 to 15 minutes. I don't know.

Was he Chinese? I didn't know. Who was this? But for some reason it does affect the story. Right. Right. But I don't know. I know you're joking about the Chinese thing.

But it's always it's always white or black. That's the, that's the question, you know? And then like occasionally you'll get surprised if it's like, you know, like you're just like, you're a great. But that's just population-wise, right? Because most people are either white and black in America and the Chinese are a smaller population, right? No. No?

No? I have no idea. I don't think so. Really? I think there's less Chinese people in America than white and black people. Well, are we going Asian or are we going Chinese? Full Asian, I would say there's less Asian Americans than black Americans. In the U.S.

Yeah, so that's why. San Francisco. Okay, that's not fair. It doesn't be like China Town or being like, you know. That's like saying like the Hasidic Jewish people. I'm saying it just in San Francisco. I'm saying there's a lot of, there's a lot of fucking Asians out there.

Can you look up there? Like it turns like a ballpark number, yeah. I would guess, I think black people are 14%, right? I think so, yeah, right? Yeah. It's weird that I know that. I am,

I know none of the black stats. There's a lot of, like, helpful black stats. I know none of them. Right. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I think white people make up like 75% or something.

Actually, I don't know. All right. We should keep going. Because these statistics. they always give you like, you know, like weird things. So I'm going to try and, I'm going to try and find it. So I would, I would keep talking. I know, he might be silent for like two minutes.

Every population is smaller than you think a lot of times because like I always thought like, I was like, oh yeah, maybe like 10% of people are gay. It's like, way less than that. It's like four percent of people are gay or something like that. And I might be completely wrong about this, but. But that's also, it's also openly gay compared to the bad of people probably are gay. Yeah, that's like, how many people are saying gay? You're right. You're right.

but they're not second. It's Hispanic and Latino. Yeah, that makes sense. Because of that damn border, huh? We got to, let's talk border control over the rest of this podcast. Wait, what's the full pie chart? So, all right. Okay, so white, white at 57.8%. This is in 2020. That was less than I thought.

57.8% Hispanic and Latino, 18.7% black or African American, 12.1%. Asian 5.9% 2 or more races 4.1% and then fucking Native America. But that's going to change completely because like in 20 years it's going to be like it's going to get so like Everyone's going to be. Oh yeah, that two or more

racist thing is going to definitely. Yeah, that's going to raise at least 5 or 6. You're Irish. God damn shame. Your Irish and say that. Yeah, yeah. I'm Irish Korean. Okay. So I guess I mean, I am two or more races. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's, I don't know. A goddamn minority. Yeah, man. What percent is gay? Gay's like four or something, right? Dude, this is race. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

I thought it would be on the same chart. Oh, man. That would be great if it was. I guess what? Yeah, I don't know. That's probably a harder, it's probably a harder statistic to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because that's not in, that's not like in any checkboxes. Yeah, because, like, race is in a ton of check boxes, but, and, like, even like, fucking, I'd say pronouns are more common, like, than, like, them asking if you're gay or straight, right? That's a good thing. They only ask that if you're like donating blood or right.

Yeah. Or sperm or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They probably used to do that with sperm now. Oh, yeah.

For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You probably couldn't do a lot of things if you were gay. For a way.

You can adopt for like the longest time. Yeah. But I think, I don't. The good old days. Too many, too many pansies. No. I think. I'm joking.

There's certain. words like that. Like that's one word where you say it with like vitriol. Yeah. No, you're for real. You're like, it's like too intense. You're like fucking pansies. You know, but like in when in the context of talking about gay people. And it's like whoa, all right, dude.

I'm actually, I think more gay people should adopt because I don't think women should be parents. I'm so non-homophobic that I'm sexist. There should be no women parents. Lesbians are not allowed to adopt. They're double not allowed to adopt. Gay dudes can be the only parents. I don't know

thought that, man. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't,

I don't, I don't know. I don't know. What was the most recent thing? We were talking about lying earlier. What's the biggest

thing you've ever lied about? Biggest thing I've ever lied about. Fuck. All right. I got, I got a dig. Because, like, I don't know if I've had

huge lies like that. Right. You know, you know, you know, it's funny or dumber lies. I have a lot of those dumb lies where I'll just

lie to somebody's face about something I'm like, not even. Oh, oh, I mean, I do that all the time. Like, like, like, uh, fucking pineapple pizza, right? You know, like New York people, it's like, oh, what the, what the fuck is pineapple pizza? Like, fuck that, you know? I've never had it in my life, but I shit, I shit on it religiously. It could be the most amazing thing. You're not missing out. Yeah. I mean, like, like, I do that with a comedy stuff too. So like, you know, like, you know, like as a guy, right, you want to, you know,

whatever. I'm like, uh, like Whitney Cummings, right? I'd be like, Whitney Cummings, fucking sucks. You haven't even seen her. I've never seen him. I've never seen him. She can be great. I'm just like, yeah, fucking con. She's so horrible. Yeah,

that is interesting because it's like, I have something too where it's like, it's probably sex, but like I, uh, if I'm turning on stand up,

I think I rarely go, let me see a female stand-up guy. Like, it's like, in a showroom, I genuinely think it's like they're just as funny as dudes. I,

I'm waiting for you. I'm, I'm waiting for you. I'm waiting for him. Yeah. No, no, absolutely not. I mean,

my top five is all women. Yeah. It's all women. Name five female comics that are... Adrian iPolucci's... Yes. Yes. By the way, that is one thing that's so underutilized, I think, is like women doing dark comedy. There's, like, very few to do it.

Well, it's because they're dumb and then they think, like, that... I don't even fucking care. Whatever. All right. Let's hear you... Like, they think dark comedy is, like, joking about abortion. It's like, yeah, you are the demographic that society says is allowed to make abortion jokes. It's not fucking edgy when you make abortion jokes.

Or it's like, oh, guys can't make me come. It's like, all right, it's been going on. That's been going on since the beginning of time. So it's not edgy. You know what I mean? So that's what I love about Adrian I, Ippolucci was like, she's just hitting just like real topics. You know what I mean? It's not. It's kind of not this. It's just different. I get what you say. I think also less women go into stand-up. So it's like there's less of them doing stand-up. Right. But it's like, dude, her, I think, have you seen Yamanika? No. Yamagica. Sanders, right? Yeah. Fucking hilarious. Dude, I saw her hosting a roast battle recently. And I was like, this is the-

I saw a clip of her. No, I mean, I think women are funny I like just backing him up to the corner You said they're dumb Well, you can be dumb and funny I genuinely, this is not me trying to To be the ones and look like sexes I don't think that dudes are smarter than women

Okay Depends on what we're doing Depends on what we're doing We're like so much better Like everything Except for like maybe parenting Like we're like what Like sports

Directions, I would say. Directions. I don't. I mean, but like, like, okay, I guess let's think about music, right? Top male musicians. Top female musicians. But that's the question. It's not even close.

It's not even close. You can say like Whitney Houston. That's like one. I'm about to say, no, I'm about to say like R&B, you do have a case for some of the female singers being some of the cream of the crop. That might be the one genre. Country, I don't know. I don't know why I pointed to you like you would.

I was like no... I was like, yeah. You do look like country. Yeah. Yeah. I think... That's the only genre of. I think it's the same thing

with stand-up where it's like less women go into these fields, so there's less of them... And I think you can argue the other part around. So I think when people get upset about there being less

successful female stand-up comics, there's less of them doing it. So that might be why you have less women. All right, I'm not the face of anti-women in comedy. You are now. No, that's... That's not what I see. So I said, and honestly, I mean, like, we just get away from one topic and it gets so stuck.

Also, but like, I mean, and like, even if I was, it's like, it's like, like, lately they're, they're, they're doing like very well. You know what I mean? Like, so I don't think it's, I don't think it's harder for, you know, at this stage of time, you know? They're doing very well, yeah. They are. Yeah. Are they not? Are they not? You know what I mean? I mean, fuck. Let's, I like saying something. Wow. I'll try, I'll try to defend women not being stupid. are good at comedy. It's more funny to pull back and watch Kevin say something. I'll put it this way. I'll put it this way. Okay. I'm fair. I'm fair across the board. It's not just women.

Okay. So you see like a lot of these like comedy shows like like like themed comedy shows where it's like, it's going to be all comedians from like this group of people, right? So I, you know, you see shit like like like it's going to be like an Asian pride show. It's like first of up, why the fuck do people want that? Like don't you want variety? You know what I mean? You just want to hear the same shit.

But anyway. So think about this, right? You've been on some of those shows, though. I have been. They're horrible. So think about this. There's a show of all of all female comics, a show of all, like, Asian comics,

a show of all gay comics, and then a show of all black comics. Which one of you... Which, yeah, it's not even close. It's not even close. So it's like, yes, I mean, like, I think all groups, like, kind of suck, you know, I mean, but like, on average,

just black comedians. better, you know? So I think... I do agree with that. I am honest. You know what I mean? I'm honest. It's not just hate a hatred of female conscience. It's just a problem. It's understanding that we all, you know, it's like, it's, I'm just saying I'm honest, so. No, it's just the most fun thing to say, to get you on something and then be quiet. It's the lesson, right? Yeah, yeah. Because it's more fun. I would be like, oh, let me try to like have points. No, it's way funny to just get you on something and then back up completely. Because then you get more defensive about it. But also, I completely agree with

fact that I think that like what happens a lot with stand-up is like people will take people of certain groups and because they need to fill a diversity quota, they'll throw them and they're actually being lazy with who they're choosing. So like I think that there are like fucking hilarious female comics that don't get the attention they deserve like Adrian and I pollution because they go, oh, we have to fill this. So we'll be like, you know, they'll pull out a random person because they'll be like, we need to fill the woman's spot. And now they're doing a more disservice compared if they would actually done research and been like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Hard to stand out. It's just tough to stand out.

a female comic. I think so. It's just stuff to stand out. That's all I'm saying. Like, stand out though? Like, because everyone, this is going to sound bad. But, like, as opposed to like what? Like a fucking white comic? Yeah, fucking, I mean, like, it's got to be hard for you there. No, it's not. See, that's, to stand out, though? No, it's not. Well, in terms of, it's hard for any comic to stand out. Period.

It's hard. It's hard to stand out in different ways, right? So, like, for, I guess for a black comic, it's, like, harder because, like, on average, I would say black comics are funnier. So it's like, you have to rise to a certain level. Whereas, like, white guys, we just have to, like, figure out a way to say, fucked up shit, be funny, but also not get in trouble for it. Right? So I feel like that's how a white comic is going to, like, stand out. Yeah, yeah, I agree what you're saying. A female comic, she's going to stand out by being funny.

Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. I also think this is the thing, too. I think that women are show... That deserved to laugh. What are we fucking do with here? What did this become?

Last time, Surrey was, like, defending Kanye's, like... Kinez, like, slavery was a choice fucking comments. By the way, I also... And now I'm fucking making a little lighthearted quip. I still agree with Kemp. Dumbling down on the women thing. And it's like, oh, shit. I also...

I also... I also... I also... I also... I also zoned out for a second when you said it. And I just agreed to your joke as... Well, I miss what you said. Oh, man.

We'll move on. Also, one thing I don't... I think that is unalized that. I think gay dudes and women are great at roasting, and I don't think that that muscle outside of roast battles has used the same way. Because, like, women, I think are really good at roasting because they're really mean people sometimes. So it's like they have a certain level of spite that they can roast people really hard. And gay dudes have also this savagery where they're fucking...

They're witty to quick. Exactly. And, like, you'll see that roast battles, but then that same comic will do a stand-up set and talk about, like, something monotonous. Also, so much a stand-up is just fucking boring. You know what I mean? it's like, do something interesting and different. But I'm also guilty of doing stuff

that's not interesting and different, you know? I guess, like, in terms of, like, the female comics, in terms of standing out, like, how would I put it? Like, for someone to stand out,

like, when someone stands out as a female comic, you remember them. Like, it's like, when a female is funny, like, all right,

like, that sticks in your head. And I think... It's because you're a misogynist. Yeah, I feel like they're probably, I don't go fuck. I'm not getting bucked on those shows.

Like, I go fuck But we've seen Like we've seen funny guys And we've seen a lot of funny dudes And they, I don't want to say Like not they come and go Or But you don't remember them all

Or at least for me Like they don't leave an imprint Sometimes But isn't that That makes it harder for them to stand out You're right That's true That's true

But but Just agree with me Just agree with me Come to the dark side I still say I still say It is harder Because you still

Like what he said You still have certain things where it's right it's one female per show maybe like you you might see that still where all right you might just have the whole show the whole show is males it might just fill this one spot which is one female that in a sense could be harder too because all right if i want that one spot i have to stand out with something different or stand out with something that people are receptive to yeah so i think this i think there's nothing wrong with having only one female on a lineup because statistically there's way less

of them doing stand-up. So I don't think there's anything morally wrong with it. But I think it does make the show better because you have a lot of dudes just, I think this. I think this. Just cut it right there.

Yeah. It's like, it's better because there's a lot of dudes. That's the end of it right there. No, it's like mixing it in and having different people does make a show better. I also have a problem with,

I think there's a lot of cons, I don't want to say necessarily conservative. There's a lot of white guys that'll be like, oh, you know, black people are always complaining about this, white people always complain about this. And then they're like, I'm not getting booked because I'm white.

I'm like, you're complaining about the same thing you're mad at people about complaining for. You know what I mean? It's like you have that same. It's like you have that same mentality. Not you, but like people have that same mentality. They're like, really when it comes down to it, if you're funny, you will have a level of success.

And I don't think it has anything to do with anything else. Now, I think unfunny people will get ahead. But at the end of the day, it's like that person can be in a line up on you and you're going to bury that person if they're not funny. So it doesn't matter at the end of the day because at the end of the day, it's like, oh, I might have to work harder than maybe the other white guys around me. what's the negative of that? I just get better at stand-up.

You know what I mean? Because, like, I haven't told before. I haven't told by a booker- I have enough funny white guys. There's very, I mean, like, there's varying levels of success, though. So, like, you could be really funny. You're gonna get, you're gonna get booked and stuff.

But, like, in terms of, like, actually making a dent with, like, money and, like, real opportunities, like, that's where it gets clouded. Right, but I'm saying you should also have to stand out because because there's enough white dudes doing comedy, I should have to stand out, because people have seen this enough. and although that might be technically racist

against white people, it's like I should still have to bring something at the table this day. That's different. Yeah, yeah. It's not, it's not like an injustice that it's harder for a white guy to say that, but it is harder. Oh, for sure. Because there's so many of us doing it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I agree with that. I feel like in terms of like black rooms and stuff, like I've seen some black rooms or I've been in rooms where they're waiting

for the white guy to fall flat on his face. I've been booked purposely. I think I've been booked as like a white guy that they're like, let's... Yeah, you know what I'm saying? It's like, Like people, like as soon as he comes on stage, they're just waiting like, mm-hmm, like, you know what I mean? Like, there he goes. But once you show that, all right, you're different or are you unique in a sense? Are you bringing something different to the table? And motherfuckers don't give a fuck.

They're just going to embrace you. For sure, yeah. I feel like. Yeah. I also might cut this whole part about us talking about stand-up. Yeah, yeah. Who gives a fuck, though? We can go longer.

Let's go, are you guys cool going longer? I'm going. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you'll do later. Who gives a shit? Let's just have fucking fun. Yeah. We just talk and fuck it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? I said, we're just talking.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. Let's score this game. I don't follow, I don't follow football. Yeah, I was going to say, I mean, yeah, I was going to say. I'm not better than I'd have a horrible time focusing on one thing for too long. Eagles are up 217. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. All right. Anyway. See how that ends. All right. No, actually, I'm leaving this all in. My favorite thing to do with Kevin is to get the backup and watch it. Because I'll do the same thing where I get on a rant and then I'm immediately like,

you know what? And you pull back a step first. No, I feel like this is the, this has been the worst one, like in terms of that. Of, like, feeling like I got to back up. Because like the other shit, it was kind of just like all wild. But it was like just like, like, we were saying fucked up shit the last few podcasts, but it was like all in the context of like the whole podcast is us saying fucked up shit. Right.

Which almost makes it better. You said you had blowback for the last episode. A little bit. Yeah. I had some family members. A couple people really, they didn't like that comments I made.

Trayvon Martin comments. It's crazy. The whole like standing your ground stuff. I said basically I, wow, repeated again. It's like with a guy on CNN who got fired for masturbating like on camera.

They were like, they brought him on the first time back introducing him and it was like, so Jeff, uh, you got fired or suspended for, masturbating on Zoom. Any comments?

And the guy's like, yep, well, that was me. Yeah. He goes too hard on him. She goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, what the hell were you thinking? And then he's like, I don't know. I'm like, this just the most, we're just watching this guy basically

get pegged by this woman on the TV. He's just like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like, the whole world saw his penis. He has no, like, he should have done that, but it was a mistake. I don't think he was a mistake, right? He didn't mean to.

Oh, had to. Yeah. We really do any more sincerity. I was thinking this, everybody's talking about about how Ellen's not funny anymore. If she owned who she was, that would be fucking hilarious,

dude. I would love to see Ellen come on. Oh, man, dude, that would be... Been a type five about that whole show. That, if they made a reality TV show,

of her being a cunt and the people complaining about it, that would be unbelievable. I would love Ellen to go on there. She's like, oh, really? You're mad at me for being a dick to my coworkers?

You don't have to work with these fucking retards. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. Has South Park done this yet? No, it sounds amazing, dude. I would love to see what you're going. They got to. She's like, just beating the fuck out of people.

She's like, do you know who I am? I'm Ellen fucking degenerous. I'm better than all you fuckers. Look to the floor. Look to the floor, yeah. Yeah, dude, that would be, dude, I love it. Because, like, dude, that's funny. It's funny when lesbians are really mean.

And that happens sometimes. That is a, that is a type of person that's hilarious. But it's like, I want to see the authentic version of that. Instead of this fake Ellen, it's like, Oh, my God. Right, right. Like a fucking puppet. She comes out.

like a Muppet, all her eyes wide open. She doesn't... It's all that adrenal crone. Oh, my gosh. Dude, that would be fucking beautiful. Yeah. Just really go with it. But by the way, they don't tell the audience.

They tell the audience, like, this is just the Ellen DeGeneres show. And then they... Surprise Ellen's got, like, a hidden camera back there. Yeah, yeah. But, like, you got to think, like, how powerful she is. If you did, like, leak something like that, you'd probably get murdered. Like, not even, like, not even, like, not even, like, not even conspiracy. Dude, the idea of L degenerous just calling the shooters on you, like, no.

I love the idea of somebody you're just at Ellen's house. She's like, no, let's have some tea at my place. And you walk by the pool and she just fucking merks you in the back of the head. That would be badass, dude. Yeah, I mean, I hear she's like cunty to comics to. To everybody. Yeah, yeah. But I'm cool with that being a person that exists.

Also, it's like, yeah, like, when did it become illegal to become a fucking ass? It's like we, it's like, all these people like spend all this energy getting mad at her. But, like, there's a lot worse people that you could be getting mad at. For sure. politicians. Like the goddamn it's president of ours, you know? Not for long,

Cab, it's okay. Yeah, I like, I like him because I think he's so funny. Like, he's funny how he doesn't know what's going on. I like it. Sure, sure. I've divided myself completely from everything.

We were talking about how we haven't heard from Kanye in forever. We haven't heard from Trump, it seems like, in quite some time. He announced it. I haven't heard anything about the guy. Well, so he's laying low.

Yeah, yeah. He's planning something big, I feel like. Trump has to be planning something. That has to be something coming soon. I don't know. I don't know. I think he'll probably win if he runs against DeSantis.

Because I think DeSantis, I don't know, man. That'll be interesting to see what happens. Yeah. Because I also thought he was going to win the last ones. I have no idea if he's going to win this one. Yeah.

No, I mean, like DeSantis has like momentum and stuff, but I guess it all comes back to those debates, you know? Yeah. It's going to be great. And I don't think DeSantis is good

as a public speaker as Trump is. Right, right. But Trump is getting kind of older, a little less funny and, like, witty. I noticed that, like the last time around, you know, I thought he was going to just, like, wipe the floor with Biden

with, like, making fun of him. That should have a stadium was hilarious. He goes, he goes, you'd fill out a stadium too if you'd get people to come out. Or would he say, I'm like, that's pretty funny. No, he's still got it. He's still got it. You know, 2016 was his prime, though, right? Yeah, yeah, oh, man.

2016 for him. Yeah, he was just, dropping hits, man. Just crowd work all over the place, you know. Like, fucking unbelievable. Killing Hillary, doesn't. Yeah. I would love, they should have all these, like, uh, media personas become, dude, if Andrew Tate started running

for president, like all these people got to get in there. It's just annoying that there's less, uh, I don't know. I guess Santos would be like the liberal. Is it Santos liberal? I don't even know what there is. I'm sorry.

Yeah, wait, this is the guy who was lying about shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I think he, yeah, I think he was a, uh, yeah. Because you get less of those, but they are fun. It's like, I was talking about this. Just these iconic characters in media, right?

You got like Alex Jones, you got Andrew Tate, you got Kanye. Uh, it seems like all of them are conservative, though. Yeah, But it's like that's the, the, the, I was talking to somebody's like the four horsemen. Like, you know what I mean? Of entertainment. It's like, I don't know if there's like a liberal side of that because it's like they take themselves so seriously. Sometimes it's a little less.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. They don't know how to joke with themselves too. I think that's the thing though. That's why that four horsemen, those people you were mentioning.

Okay. So there's, the reason they're so popular is like they have people that take them seriously. But then they also. people that love them because it's just hilarious to watch them and like them and like like me like Andrew Tate like sure like a majority of that shit is just like kind of tooly you know like top G whatever like

I don't you know I'm like I'm not about that but the shit he says is hilarious so like that's why for sure that's why I'm like into it you know so like yeah there's nobody on the on the left that will like that you know what I mean they're not cool there's no cool people on the left but I'm also cool them not being cool just being like exciting like it's like

I think there are people, but I don't think the parties throw them in there as much. Because there are some, like, ridiculous people, like, just on the internet. They're like, I'm even friends with on Facebook. And I'm like, this person's out of, just saying the wildest shit. But you don't get that person as much in, like, the public. Because it's crazy how just weird things are getting. Like, I saw a video recently. It was this guy videotaping, like, a Holocaust survivor doing a TikTok dance.

And it's playing, like, technology. It's like, boom, boom, bum, bum, bum, bum. And he goes, what camper are you in? And she's like, Auschwitz. And then it's doing a thing. Like, this is insane. But it seems like that I don't know, maybe it's just, I don't know,

Andrew Cuomo was pretty weird. Or no, you know who was? You know who they really should have kept in the public eye more? The mayor of New York City. That guy was nuts. De Blasio? Yeah, you ever watch videos of him now?

There's somebody of him, he's like, one of them eating burgers is the fun. Oh, him eating burgers, yeah. He's just like, you guys should get vaccinated. He's like eating like a burger. That's more funny because it's like, just look at this fucking idiot or this like puppet up here. It's not like, it's not like him being like fucking witty or quick

or like troll. Yeah, but it's just. This is kind of a similar thing where it's like... No, Tate's pretty quick. Yeah, I haven't seen enough of them. Yeah, yeah. No, I guess I would put it this way. It's like, it's like the right, the people in the right and like, I don't know, whatever, Alex Jones, that type of crowd.

It's like, they can be funny. But like, the left, they have the best actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're really good with like movies and shit. We're sure. They're better with, the right's better with comedy. They're better with, like, you know, movies and music too, right? Yeah.

Most people, I feel like, in the music industry, they feel like they're on the left. His favorite type of music, come on. Yeah. Yeah, it is, it isn't, yeah, the acting thing's really funny because you'll see somebody, and for a while, I think celebrities, like, think something kind of wild. You think that?

When they're coming out and, like, talking about something, I'm like, oh, no, they're just insane. And they're acting. You know what I mean? They're trying to, like, like, there was something I was talking about recently. Chris Hemsworth does this thing where he found out that he has, like, a possible predisposition

to have Alzheimer's. and now his wife is wearing like prosthetic makeup to look like an old lady because he's like, I never remember. I'm like, you haven't even gotten a diagnosis yet. You're just doing, like, this kind of stuff. You just want that sympathy. You just want people to be like, oh, my God.

For sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I, like, I forget who it was, but they announced like some white actor ladies. She announced that she has some sort of disease. And then she's like, I would like privacy now. Why do you announce this to the world then, bitch?

Like, you know, I have a secret. And, like, you can keep it a secret because, like, Norm MacDonald did, you know? Yeah, yeah. Also, if you have a disease and I don't know what it is, I don't feel bad for it. If I don't know what, you're like, I don't know what it is.

Alopecia. Yeah, yeah. That shit was hilarious. They were acting like that was cancer, the way they was. Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So back to you, hating women. Fuck. I forgot what I was. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm down I just ended there oh no we were talking liberal actors I was gonna like praise Mel Gibson a ton but

yeah I guess you can pause there I'll end on a high note he's still in the he's still in the sphere of things he's still in the game

yeah he's still in the game he's back well that's the thing too is like also like Tom Cruz is a cult leader and is still

the head of everything right like movie wise people like yeah sure we'll have them on everything it's like this guy

really runs a cult and we're just like letting it go can I say something real I haven't seen any top guns I haven't seen

the first top gun. I haven't either. People hate me. I don't really like him that much. People talk about it like it's the greatest shit. Like I've, I've seen white people. Pete, not just white people. It's a lot of white. We like that shit. We love top. But I've seen a lot of people say that movie is like top five and shit. It's in their top five. I'm not big into action movies, man. Really? I don't like it. I just, there's just no depth that, you know, it's none of it's real.

It's like tries to be real. Wait, so like none, like even like the war movies. The boring movies were sick. Those are the only ones like all the Bond movies. I don't like Bond either. He's so he's not exciting when he kills people. He kills him with like a little like peom and then he hides by in like a corner. It's like not like, it's not like shoot him upy where he's just like has like

a, I really like when people have like a full machine gun and they're just kind of gunning people down like that. That's exciting compared to a guy who's like slowly shooting people. Like the Parkland movie. What a great film. That's a great one. Oh. I like that you'll, you bail all the things you say so fast.

You go, oh, no. If this is anything like my fucking set tonight, then it's going to be bad. Lead it with that one. That's the first joke, man. I, uh, yeah, I like, uh, you know what I was watching? I can't watch serious TV shows. I like dramatic movies. I just finished Breaking Bad and I liked it, but I don't think I'll ever watch a drama ever again.

Have you seen it? Yeah, yeah, I've seen Breaking Bad. I loved it. Yeah, I love it. I love it. They should have glorified meth dealing a little. bit more. Like it sucks.

He had to like stand on the radar, but I would have liked it a little bit more if he was like doing, like, there are the scenes where he's the man, I love. And I'm like, fuck, yeah, he's really going for it. But some, it is, it sucks that they made his son, like, retarded. Because, like, I was thinking about this actually yesterday. Like, it would be cool if there was a scene where, let's say his son was normal and like going to parties and stuff. And they had his fucking dad's meth.

Oh, that had the party, like, affected his family. And he would have to be like, oh, shit. Because, like, he's just like, other than that, he's just a narcissist. Just like, you know. I would have a. if his son did meth and then she could walk. It's a cure and he can't tell anyone. He's like, fuck.

Why would we try this? There's a lot of shit I'm sure we just haven't tried. We've been doing a lot of psychedelic research. Let's fucking start giving everybody mess. Yeah, yeah. That'd be wild. Has anybody given any meth to somebody that has no legs? We gotta start experimenting.

Yo, yo, you might be on to something. Yeah, there's so much shit we haven't tried with other shit. We just assume it's like, like, I doubt, people have given people with Down syndrome Adderall. I've said this before. There's lots of things like that where it's like we got we gotta we gotta start mixing things up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Because like if there

are benefits like that to psychedelics which we thought were the least beneficial drug. We're like oh it makes you see colors and you do dumb shit. For the longest time like when I was a kid people talked so much shit on psychedelic drugs. They were like my brother was like it's terrible. It'll kill you all this stuff and there was all these weird rumors that like psychedelic drugs are bad and now it's like the most respected drug. Do you know about like this psychedelic drugs and like like also even like

weed, like, anti-psychedelic, anti-weed PSAs from, like, the 50s and, like, 60s. We're funny by pharmaceutical companies, probably. It was just, no, it was just like all, they would say, if you don't do weed, don't do psychedelics, you'll either turn gay or, like, don't let your white daughter do it because she'll date a black guy. Like, that's all the, that's all it was centered around, just like anti-interacial anti-gay. The white girls would like, let me get some weed. Yeah.

It'd be like, it'd be like in that old guy. voice like, uh, don't let your daughter smoke weed. You end up sucking a penis. Yeah, it's like,

it's like, oh, I like Lamar. Yeah, those were fucking crazy. I remember, you know, it's the worst,

the worst information I ever heard, is I heard Joe Rogan one time talking about how you can get schizophrenia. If you smoke a bunch of pot, people can have schizophrenic breaks.

And now every time I get too high, I have that thought in the back of my mind and it won't disappear. because I go, it's just weed and I go, yeah, but with that 1% of the population that has a schizophrenic break, and I'm like, fuck.

Every time it gets me, I have this little fear in the back of my head that I will be permanently stuck like that. That's a fear right there. But, yeah, yeah. That's a fear right there. We're also doing, like, fucking meth at like 14. You know what I mean? I accidentally.

I love you to seriously deny that. Either way. I've done bath salts. It's not quite to say. Yeah, but it's like that stuff. I don't know. I don't know why psychedelic drugs really scare me. I want to do them so...

I'm going to do them again. But it's like I... The idea of going into it is very scary. But that's why... Have you delved into it? I can't, bro. I know just like how negative I am about shit. Like, it would just not...

It'd be a bad experience. I just know. I've heard you can't go in with like a negative mindset. No. For Shrooms, for me, Shrooms was... I guess it's like that. For like LSD, that's definitely a fact.

I heard that could fucking... up your whole trip. If you're healing down, you're feeling in a bad place, you'll just have a terrible trip, and that's, that'll just fuck it up for you. I need one.

I need, like, I need a bad vision quest. I need it where, like, I take, like, a bunch of mushrooms and go to the desert. Ayahuasca. Yeah. Aaron Rogers type stuff, right?

You get the Aaron Rogers. That shit's pissing me off, though. These celebrities and athletes with, with, like, the, now everyone's doing the psychedelics. Oh, it's fucking changed me.

It's like, inside their brain. So they do psychedelics, and they just say nonsense. Because now they just have the confidence to because, they think it's profound. But there are some people that...

All of them are doing it, it's just like a bandwagon now. It's fucking annoying. Even like, yeah, I think Bill Burr too. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh, now I'm like better with my kids.

It's like, are you really? Yeah, yeah. Or is it that you're just like fucking 60 now and you start to calm down. You know what I mean? Right. Not so angry. Yeah.

Yeah, they get a lot of credit. Yeah. Yeah, the psychedelic drugs. Because sometimes it's like, yeah. Because also like, that might be able to happen in any terrifying experience. So like,

if you almost died, which is, when you do psychedelics, you feel like you're dying. So that might, you could have that if you almost got hit by a car one day. It's like, does that mean it's good now to almost get hit by a car? Probably not. Yeah, you're not going to run back in the street. Like, oh my God, I need that. Yeah, I got to have this experience again. But it's like, part of me just feels like I need to like, I'm starting gravitating

towards things that scare me. So like, my buddy was like, let's get high and go see that movie, Megan, like a horror movie. Loved it. But I was scared of the idea of doing it. But sometimes you've got to do things you're scared of because then you get like, that's how you grow as a person. I'm out on that. Getting high and watching a horror movie?

No, can't do it. Really? No, I watched paranormal activity or entity when I was high. It's like 2012. Yeah. Scared the shit out of me, dog. That first paranormal activity was fucking, the boringest but best horror movie. It was so slow, but I was like...

Yeah, the last like half an hour is where shit gets real, right? We're like Katie starts doing all that, yeah. I like that. That was a good series too. Damn, yeah. Yeah, those are fun. Yeah. Yeah.

You scary movie guy at all? So, uh, I'm hearing that. there, you know. I like my first experience of the horror movie was, I was like fucking 10, watched the original exorcist with my, with my dad or whatever. And because like I was raised Catholic, like, it really fucked with me because I was like, this shit is real. Yeah. So I live in an old house and like the radiators that at night during the winter, they fucking start banging and making all these noises. So I'm in bed and that shit starts going off. And I'm like, I'm going to, I'm like freaking out right now. Like, I'm possessed by the fucking devil.

And I don't think I could, I don't think I slept for like two years after that. I was so... Yeah, that shit could be scary. Because also it's like, when I was a kid, like, horror movies are a little less scary now because I'm like, oh, this isn't a real. Like, when I was a kid and I was really religious, that she would be

terrifying because I was like, oh, the devil is real in some senses. I also, I heard the funniest. I love reading people's near-death experiences because a lot of them have very scary ones. So some people have magical ones where they see God, where they see their grandma. And she's like, I'm so proud of you? And they come back to life. They're like, yay. Some people also go to hell and experience like the worst shit. Like there was a priest. He went to hell and he said they were

singing umbrella by Rihanna. He said there was these like dog people. Like people that would walk on all fours singing umbrella by Rihanna and like one of their song. And like that is terrifying. It's almost it's more terrifying than it's a pop song. It was a weird song. I don't know why it's more terrifying because it's like it's like weirdly like a- Would it be? I have a question though. Would it, would it suck if you go to heaven and none of the cool people are there? Like, what if all the cool people are in hell? Like, oh, dude, it's just like the dirtiest people of your life. I'm like,

yeah. Like, when I go, if I go to heaven and Walt Chamberlain and Tupac and Kanye's not there, I would be like, or I'll go to hell and I'm going to go with those guys. I want to be with the cool people. All right. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to just be in heaven with God. I mean, the interactions in hell would be a lot more fun to watch. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. You know, like Hitler and whoever. Other than Houdini. Playing car. Because he did something. God is like, yeah, I don't know. It's also, there's gotta be a lot of people you didn't think would go to hell because you thought,

like Mr. Rogers, we find out has like 40 kids that he killed. And so Mr. Rogers is in hell for some weird reason. Sure, a bunch of, yeah, like secret pedophiles that we never found out about, you know? Michael Jackson in heaven, though.

Ended there. And it's like, bring it back full circle. That is a good place to end it. What do you guys want to promote, by the way? book me for a show man yeah yeah book Buxury hilarious also Kevin hilarious

Thank you yeah I mean you can follow me Instagram at Kevin Mcloin Toad my friends at the end there And then yeah I don't know When's this gonna come out? Four days from now I mean like yeah no that's good Instagram's cool yeah

Everyone be great Have a good time Perfect that was really positive everybody be great I like that Yeah