Morning Good - Can You Be Sad with a Hard Dick? - Episode 29

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

Thanks to Niko for coming on the show and Claire for returning. Check them out and give them a follow to see more from them.Claire is on Instagram and Twitter @clairebearpears and you can also go to her website clairealexandercomedy.com for more info and links to some of her other podcast appearances. Niko is everywhere @ironicpunhere so make sure to follow him and check out his link in bio for more of what he has going on. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to Morning here. What about you? I'm over here over here now. All right, sweet. Sweet. Yeah. We're here with Nico Pav and Claire Alexander.

What's up? Hey. You look so good, both of you. It's not fair. Thank you, I got a grade 10. I was in a... It looks like I just got to see in my first college class.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like the professor of a college class. Please don't read anything in the book because I haven't yet. Just smoke the papers. It's fine. Like, yeah.

I do feel like every English professor did have that cardigan. Yeah. That's so comfy. My husband left me cardigan. I love it, though. It's like 20 bucks prime. It's great.

I love it. I had one. My favorite was weird. This one guy. He was like a poetry teacher, but he was like this jacked dude. And he had like a handlebar mustache. And he was like the man he had slick back hair.

He used to be Patrick Swayzey's stunt devil. And is it devil or double? Do you say devil? No. It's devil now. It's devil now. Because like you're a dare devil. You're a stunt devil.

I don't know. The guy was awesome because he would be like, yeah, I like poetry, man. And he was just like super yoked guys. These poems are sick. They're about, you know, getting to your insides and talking about your feelings. and yeah he was like the man. Wow, that's beautiful. Like being so comfortable in your masculinity

that you actually, you know, will read poetry like that. I love that. Oh, yeah, it's just a straight-up yoke dude just loves rhyming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without rhythm. Without rhythm. Yeah, right into the beat, wow.

And he also, he had the coolest perspective because he was like, oh, he's like, you guys can show up or not show up. He's like, it doesn't matter to me. He's like, it won't count against your grade. He's like, if you want to learn, come in, and if you don't want to learn that day, no big deal. Hopefully you learn outside the classroom.

Most of my professors in college were like that Because they're like, I'm getting paid So I literally don't care I don't get shit I had none of those dude I had so many of my professors were like If you're not paying attention to me Then fuck you

And it's most I have one poetry professor I remember that I didn't take poetry I'm like wait I'm not as secure as that guy I'm like no dude I wasn't I'm not gay bro I don't fucking But this woman like she got so mad at some kid Because he used the analogy deaf ears

Because she's like this is very offensive To this disabled community And then she put her disabled kid on the phone one time. I just made fun of him for like five minutes. She's like, he doesn't know what's going on. And I'm like, all right, so other people can't make fun of them, but you like, well, I have 10 years. But you fully call a deaf kid and you're like, this is crazy

because they're not going to hear the phone ring. Yeah, I don't think he was deaf. I think it was, uh, like, mentally challenged. Oh, man. Oh, that's even worse. That's terrible. Yeah. I mean, if it was funny, it would be like, I have no problem. People make a phone or whatever, but it's like, you can't, like, oh, this kid, I'm going to call him out and then just be, like, super offended by it. My favorite, though,

The guy had the poetry about like the Catholic Church. And he's like, yeah, this is about priests. Fucking on kids. You know, that's a hilarious way to put it. Fucking on kids. What the fuck did you go to school? Florida State University. I needed to go there.

God damn it. I applied to one fucking school. I got into all my schools. That's how I, that's how I spell. Yeah. Community College. Yeah. There you go.

Did you go in Florida? Yeah, I went to SCF. Nice. And then I transferred to USF. Okay. U.S. is probably fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah.

I had my shit together for a little bit. I didn't know. I didn't know that you ever were in Florida. I was born in Beekman Hospital in New York City. Then I moved to Bergen County in New Jersey. And then I lived in Florida. And then my dad, I surprised him for his birthday like five, six, seven years ago. And then like five to six years ago, he started having heart problems.

And then took care of him and all that shit. That's how I came back up here, which is dope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucking love it up here. It's just Florida with winter. That's it. I disagree, man. Really?

I haven't been to the beach And long enough here So like my thing is I miss the water So like I want to go to an aquarium That's how much I miss the fucking water right now Well we're used to free beaches That's why I know right

Dude I went this weekend to Do you know what new So there's this beach called New Smyrna Beach I was telling her It's like a classier Daytona But it's still kind of like a little bit white trash So it's like a mix It's like the locals there are pretty

No needles just cans Exactly exactly Yeah But it was great Because like the most Florida day We went there And my buddy is like Talking shit about this 711 guy

But like the clerk He's like this guy's like this guy's fucking pussy. I hate this guy. And then later on we go out, we leave a bar and then the 7-11 clerk like a grown man's just fighting a high schooler in the parking lot. And I'm like, this is, I love Florida. This is fucking awesome.

And then he went back in, like, could you imagine he got his ass kick? Could you imagine like getting your ass kicked and then going back to your job for like hours? So you wanted Marlboro Reds? Yeah. Are you bleeding out of your face? I would quit on the spy. Oh, my lord. And he wasn't fired the next day. My buddy's like, yo, that one asshole get fired? And they're like, no, he's suspended for the week. I'm like, could you imagine getting a fist fight in the

parking lot and still not being fired. One time I was working at a bar and the bartender got a $1 tip so she chased after the customer and then they stopped giving her shifts fully. Yeah. Oh, I have a lot of stories like that.

Holy shit. I knew someone. Oh, could you hold the mic up by her by there? Oh, yeah, right here you go. No, no, just not. Oh, right on that. Yeah, yeah. I had this one waitress, her name.

Fuck. Say her name. Say her name. I can't remember her name. I think it was... My favorite was... Natalie. Her name was Natalie.

The same of my sister's name. What's your last name? What's your address? I don't know. I think she got married, so it's different now. But I'm not going to say to maiden name because that's where it all.

You know, that's how I get Social Security number and all those money. Classic, classic. But somebody, whenever she would get a dollar tip on anything, she would just add a zero to it. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. I'm just like...

Oh, I can't wait for you to get caught. Yeah. Yeah. You used out a zero to both of them, right? Yeah. But here's the thing. She would be smart about it. And she told me, like, don't ever do that to checks that don't have the,

that have, like, the total underneath. Like, if people are just drunk and they just go one and then they just sign it, and then just add it, boom, you're done. Dang. Yeah. Still not in jail. So I guess she's going away with it. I never did that.

The only thing one time I did was a, people came in. They're like, oh, it's my birthday. And I was like, oh, do you want to drink? And so I got this guy a drink. and whatever and they're drinking. The guy didn't finish his beer and I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this kid? And then as soon as they

left, they wrote on the check. Because I didn't check their IDs. They wrote on the check. Ha ha, he was 20 years old. And I was like, oh my God, this is got, this, like this receipt goes to my boss. So I changed the, oh, to 28. That's funny.

That's funny. Yeah. I was like, my boss, I'm not going to get in trouble for illegally serving some kid. Yeah, my friend. Fuck. Especially some fucking pussy ass ungrateful bitch who's not going to finish this beer that I got him. Yeah, yeah. I said, no, I think if I was underage, you got to finish the alcohol.

Yeah, I was like, what are you doing? I get so sad when I see people leave shit in like a pitcher on the table. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, yo, you got like three cents worth of champagne. You're like, I'm like, no. No, you're not. Who cares? You're driving home great.

You're driving home black down. I, like, used to feel that way when I would serve and I would see like all these half drank beers. I'm like, what the fuck? And then, you know, then you get drunk at a bar. Once you make enough money where you can just not finish a beer, you're like, like, you get to the point of the night where you're like, dude, I, like, if I finish this beer, I will not be able to, like, even take the subway. Like, and then I feel like such an adult when I don't finish a beer, even if it's my 10th. I feel sometimes proud of myself because I'm like, I guess I don't have a drinking problem. Just because I left like a tiny sip left.

That's all that backwash and foam. On Monday. On Monday, I was like, I'm good. I don't need another beer. And I was like, I'm such an adult. And then I was like, oh, that's because I did mushrooms earlier. Like that's why I feel fine. I'm not going to lie.

I could leave like the littlest amount of fucking beer in there. But if I go anywhere and I come back and there's no glass there, I'd be like, hey, somebody threw away my drink. It was a full glass. It was a full. I don't give a fuck. I'm getting another drink. Especially when you get like soda and then it's like watered down because of the ice cubes.

You're like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. I've met people who order beers and they just let it sit there for like a good 30 minutes. I'm like, uh, it's not me. You know, just because it's flat doesn't mean there's no fucking calories. Like, drink it correctly. Yeah, that's annoying. I was saying, I don't know why that remind me of my buddy.

He had a fake ID and he used to buy dip. And after he'd buy it, he'd go, I'm not even 21. Or I'm not even 18. And you go, ah. In the store? Yeah, just maniacally laughing. They'd be like, ah, ha, ha, ha. Just like a super villain.

Oh, my God. What a genius. Oh, yeah. It was great. That's terrifying. But to look at the people's stations, they'd be like, what the fuck just happened? I mean, the gas station workers are probably like, okay, like, you're not the first guy who's so left to. Oh, that's so evil.

That's got Alex Luthor out of there. Yeah. Just maniacally laughing. Thank God it's only dip. Yeah. Like, what a waste of an ID just for a dip. Well, that was what I was probably. That's what people would always do.

Yeah. I mean, people would also buy alcohol with it, but it'd be like, yeah. Yeah. Some people were like more excited. They're like, I can buy dip now. I'm like, I'm like, I don't care, I guess. Yeah. You dipped, didn't you dip your first time the other day?

Yes, yes, I did a couple weeks ago. Was it like the packet or did you have to draw it? I didn't know about the packets until afterward. I was like, I'm a baby dipper. Like I need to. A baby dipper. I mean, I'm never going to do it again. I'm a little dipper.

A little dipper. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, what? I can't believe you gave me this. It does feel like you just put dirt in your mouth. Yeah. But like dirt that gets you a little buzz. It feels nice for dirt in your mouth. Like at least, you know, like I can't, you know, it feels like I should feel a worm in my

teeth, but like, at least I'm like a little buzz, you know. Would you rather dip or smoke cigarette? Oh. That's, yeah. I don't know, because I'm so sick of smoking cigarettes. I'm, like, totally done with it. They make me feel gross. I kind of hate the taste.

But dip is, like, nasty. Honestly, and I'm so proud of myself for the sentence I'm about to say, but I would rather do neither. Oh, I'm so good. I never got addicted to cigarettes, and I only smoked it to be cool. but I did it for like five years. Yeah. Like I would always just buy packs of cigarettes, smoke them,

and then I was like, I never had a problem with them. All I need is like two hits of a cigarette. I just bought a jewel when I was drunk. I'm probably going to give it away. Yeah. I found one on the ground the other day. I thought they were still expensive, but I realized they're like not that much.

Well, so you buy the jewel, then you have to buy the little cartridges. And you have to drop. So I bought the jewel. I was like, oh, it's only 40 bucks. I bought it. And the guy was like, well, you also have to buy the cartridges. And I was like, oh. So then I fucking spent another 20 bucks.

And I was like, oh, I just, spent 40 bucks because I really like these little puff things. You guys know that they're 8 bucks? The puff coes? Yeah. I think, yeah. And the bodega I was in didn't have them. So I just

fully bought a jewel and I was like, ah, this is a mistake. I'm not. Yeah. I don't really, I don't actually even like Jules that much. I prefer the puff thing. I always do that once I get like a pack of something. And then I'm like, oh, I realized after like one, I didn't like this. There's just something sexy about

seeing someone smoke a cigarette. I don't know what it is. It is cool. Like, I love people like, like, no, it's not cool. It's hot. It's really hot. But I think it is cool too,

because it's like, you're literally saying, I'm not afraid of getting cancer. That's badass. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, there's a thin, like, that's the same thing. Like, it's like, it's like one and four people get it.

It's like, it's like not wearing a helmet on a motorcycle. It's like, it is cool to not wear a helmet. Yeah, it is very cool. Like, like, you do look like a insurance policy too on a motorcycle. What's up? It's a helmet. That's basically it.

But couldn't you always just, like, get an accident and then just, like, throw a helmet there and be like, this is there the whole time? That's what I would do. It's like, I don't, I have a helmet, but I don't, I don't wear it on my motorcycle. I just use it, you know, in case, in case I need it. Because I would do that's a kid. Because my mom would be like, oh, you got to wear a helmet on your bicycle. And I'd wear it. I'd take it off and just put it on the handlebars.

But it doesn't look any kids. No, it looks. Yeah. No. The worst is I got like a serious wipeout one time. Like the half my face got scraped. And I was like, yeah, I was totally wearing my helmet. I don't know what happened.

The mom insurance policy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My helmet covers my head, not my face. Yeah, exactly. I wrote a city bike once when I was, like, terrified because I didn't have a helmet. That's how I learned to ride bikes. Yeah, on a city bike? Yeah, yeah.

Wow. That is, how old were you? Two years ago. Oh, nice, nice. I was just like, all right, I'm getting a little fat for this skateboard thing. It wasn't, let's try to lose weight. It's like, let's pick another activity. That's a little bit more.

I'm sure you'll be on scoot. And then in like three years, I'll be like, yeah, this is my Tesla carpet. It's fucking great. It's awesome. It gets five. Magic carpet. That's so funny. I, um, what we're talking about?

Yeah, I don't know. I thought I had something incredibly important to say. My brain just doesn't work anymore. Yeah. I'm trying to learn how to skateboard, but not really. I'm like trying in that, like, sometimes I will try. And then other times I'm like, oh, yeah. You know what's weird to me?

Just know it to be fucking cool. Oh, to be cool. New York has a lot of black guys on skateboards. Where I'm from Florida, I've never seen black guys skateboarded. It's like not as popular down there. You gotta go to like Tampa, Orlando. I'm from Orlando. I'd never see any black guy skateboarding.

Wow. It was like, it was like a predominantly white guy thing from what I thought. I'm from Connecticut, so I've just like never seen any black guys. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on every there? Not really any skateboards either. It's more like just, you know, Mercedes is and whatever.

That's so dramatic. I'm like there were people who had skateboards, but like, you know, not the kind. Now in New York, I'm like, oh, like, hot guys have skateboards. In Connecticut, it was like, oh, losers have skateboards. Yeah, but people who don't have jobs have skateboards. Are you into the E-boy look? I think so, probably, like, every guy I hook up with has a guitar or a skateboard, like one of those things. Yeah, I think it's in now, too.

The Loppao is now. I don't think I'm into that. Maybe like a girl mullet though. I think girls with mullets are cool. I guess. Is that what it's called? I'm just calling it a gullet. I like that.

A gullet. A gullet. That sounds weird. It sounds like she has like a fat pussy. I think like a gut. Yeah. It sounds disgusting. Dude, I put it right in her gullet.

I put it right in her gullet. No way. You lose it? Look for a minute. Yeah. Oh, geez. Gullet. That is exactly what it sounds like.

That's disgusting. Never mind. Never mind. Well, uh, gullet approved by Claire Alexander. Yeah. Or maybe. Not. Unapproved.

Disapproved. I disapprove. I keep accidentally calling you Claire Alexandra because you're a girl and Alexandra is a girl's name. Oh, my gosh. People have called me that my entire life. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually, um, always.

And I used to totally victimize myself about it. Like my friends would have some like long ass Italian last name. And they'd be like, substitute teachers never know how to pronounce that a name. Like, well, same. You know, nobody ever pronounces my last name correctly either. I'm, you know, such a victim. Yeah. Yeah, I've had multiple substitute teachers.

I have no idea how to an accident. No, it's hilarious because, like, growing up, I always remember I was in, I was behind this one kid on roll call. So she'd be like, all right, Mike, and then I would, I'd be like, all right, here we go. It's all the, like, usually all the time, it'd be like, he's here. Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't even try. They wouldn't even fucking try. It was great.

I was like, all right, whatever. Yeah, yeah. My was, I always get jokes on the last time because it's good. And they're like, are you going to be a good student this year? Oh, my God. And you're like, fuck ass, no. Yeah. I'm only 20.

Don't expect it. Yeah, yeah. That was infuriating. But, like, there's no, I haven't heard a solid joke about my last name. So. You haven't heard a good one. Yeah. Even that is like a shitty joke about my name.

And I'm like, fuck. Michael. That was good. Oh, man. Yeah, I'm really glad that I, that I don't have a name like that if I'm being honest. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, I feel bad for, like, Dan Frank, you know. Oh, yeah, because that's so much like Anne Frank.

He should have a pocket Everybody's gonna bring that. Yeah, I know. I think so too. There was a kid on my bus named Ronnie Seaman. Oh, man. And he went by Ronnie. Not Ronald, not Ron.

He would correct you, be like, no, it's Ronnie. Ronnie. Ronnie, why? Is it bad that I don't get that? I mean, I get the Seaman part, but Ronnie. Ronnie. Oh, like, Ronnie. Oh, like, Ronnie.

Yeah, yeah. And then there was also like a rumor that in middle school, he like pre-came in gym class for some shit, which is how that all started. And I'm just like, look, I didn't go to school with all you. So I'm graduating this year.

You guys fucking... This guy, his name is Devin Nigro. Oh, no. And it looks so... Oh, dude. Oh, man. It's spelled like N-I-G-R-O.

So it's like, it's like a mix of the N-word. Yep. It just sounds so... Oh. And imagine, like, you have to tell people that, they're like, what was that?

What was you saying? Especially in reading it. Like, I'm uncomfortable to read the name because it's N-G-R-O. Like, it looks like you're going to say the beginning part of the N word. Either any way that you pronounce that. That's even horrible just to say it like that too.

Because you're combining both of the words. Yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, my bad. That is probably such an awkward name to like come up like in a work setting because like everyone's thinking it but like you're not close enough with anyone to like make a joke about it

to your co-workers. It's like that guy has a very normal name just like the rest of us. For like in school they're like like, all right, I'm going to have Dequan, you want to read this name for me? He's like, I'm not going to vote. It's like, oh, no.

It's La Eric. Duh. Yeah. Yeah, a Iran moment. Yeah. That's so. Go to Principal O. Hennessy's office right now.

Yeah, that's tough. I, yeah. I would just, you know, take my wife's name, you know. Oh, I wanted to do that for so long. Yeah. Or what if he's one of those white guys? I can get married? How confident of me.

One of those white guys is just really into it, though. He's like, no, I'm going to say, it. It's my name. I'm gonna say it. It's like, ooh. Like, what's, I guess, I mean, that is your name, I guess. It's not quite the word. It's just so close. Yeah, on both sides. Yeah, yeah.

Someone with such a long fucking name and you were like, okay, one more time. And then you try and then just, just call me this. And they give you a section of the name and it's like Gus. I'm like, how the fuck did you get? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It slows my mind. No, my mom's name is Elizabeth. And one side of my family calls her Betsy.

And for like half my life, I was like, what? How did that happen? And then it's like, Elizabeth. Like, Betsy. I can see Liz. I can see Beth. Wow. Betsy.

Bet. That's what it comes from. But like for the longest time, I was like blown away. Bet. Yeah. Not like that. Betsy. Bet.

Hey, bet. Yo, bet. What's up? You want a bet? Bet. Bet. Yeah. What's for dinner?

Chicken? Bet. Bet. Fucking sick name. That's terrible. Betsy such a like old-fashioned name It sounds weird It sounds weird

It sounds weird It sounds like I totally fucked Betsy To quote Milakouin Yeah It's like it's like What 90s movie is that quote from? Like oh That doesn't sound like a thing

That you would hear in 2021 Betsy Yeah More like Betsy fuck me Betsy Ingrid Betsy is I would say a rugby player name

I would say If you catch my drift What about Enid? Enid I haven't heard of Enid Gertrude Definitely yeah There's no Gryd

There's no more Gertrudes. If there is a Gertrude, no, no, no. Were there any popular people in your schools who had, like, weird-ass names and you were, like, surprise? I knew it at Nolan once. A Nolan. I had a Nolan. Oh, yeah.

Do we have the same? Nolan? Oh, no, I don't think so. And I was just always like, but why is your name Nolan? Like, go by your middle name. You're so hot. I have no idea. That's what they did with Ashton Coocher.

Ashton was his middle name. Oh yeah, what's his first name? Gertrude. Longitude. Ashton Coucher is a twin. Yeah, he has a twin brother who has some disease that I forget. His brother is ugly as fuck. The disease is terrible.

Not Ashton Coucher. The disease is called Not a Famous Movie Star. I also have that disease. Maybe he did those photography commercials. Yeah, probably. I remember those. So well. Murphy.

His name is Murphy. Never mind, it's Michael. Oh, my God. He is not your look. Jesus, you stopped all hope. Yeah. Right there.

I think he has a, I think he has something, though. The Ashton, like, actually, like, studied. It's just like a guy with Down syndrome. I'm just horrifically me, and I'm like, oh, my God, he looks nothing like him. And then you show us a picture. It's Brad Pitt. Like, wait, what?

Yeah, what are you talking about? Disability. What kind of disabilities are? I forget what he has, but the only reason I know this is because I'm obviously an avid fan because Ashton's, like, really hot. Oh, he has cerebral palsy. I'm an asshole. I just basically just...

What's his disability? Oh, none. All right, well, here we go. But Ashton Kutcher studied cerebral palsy, I guess. Okay, what is he really doing? He's an actor. He's one of these guys.

He's like, I study pre-bable... He's stopping sex trafficking too. He's stopping sex trafficking too. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. I've been studying cerebral palsy for like 80 years. Yeah, he's studying it. He also cured cancer. I don't know if you guys knew about that.

Ash and Kutcher is the face of No More prostate cancer. That's it. Thanks, Ashton. Someone's cooking in the kitchen. Wasn't he grooming, Mila, I don't really care, but she was like 14. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And we're just like, yeah, no, it's cool. People are hot. We fucking just literally. That's like, that's, um, oh, man. She was 14, he was 18. And people like, was that 70s showtime? That's so corky that he was. She illegally, like, she's lied.

Like, she pretended she was 18 to be on the show. Of course. But how many years does that go on when you're like, ah, I bet, you don't I don't really give a shit, but... Yeah, she's, like, getting her period for the first time. They're like, oh, do you need a tampon? She's like, yeah, I totally know how to use that. Ha, ha, ha.

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Because it's like, even when they were... It's like, there's no way he didn't know the first year of knowing her. You know what I mean? How do you just not know? Yeah, it's like...

Yeah. I'm sure her boobs, like, got bigger over and it's like, that's weird. She's like, she didn't fucking hot. She looked like a kid today. That should have happened, like, four years ago. Oh, my God. Did you learn about eyeliner, Mila? what's going on?

Oh my gosh. Oh, that's so crazy, huh? Because, like, there's no way when she turned 15, then he's like, I'm sure in that year he had to know, he's like, oh, I guess she's 15. You know what I mean? Also, like, if they were like,

I don't know if they were like, I don't know if they were, I feel like that would be the type of thing that you'd tell, like you're, I mean, if it was me, I'd be like, okay, I have a secret for you. Actually, I'm 12. He's like, yes, fuck yeah.

He's like, I have Teddy Grams. Yeah. We're filming with Zach and Cody tomorrow. It's great. Wow, I really can't. We really did. Wow, I'm surprised we haven't canceled him for that. That's crazy though.

We just skipped over that one. I'll be honest. He's still hot. That's a hard thing because I think when you become an adult, you should then be able to be like, no, it was consensual, but in the grooming and stuff. Like I used to sex. When I was 14, I used to sex with this 40-year-old woman in Thailand,

or not Thailand, Indonesia. On Facebook, so I would send dick pics all the time. She would, like, send boot pictures. And as an adult, though, I'm like, I still, yeah, I was like, it's fine. I feel like, okay, in that situation, that is because you weren't actually spending time with this person, that's like equivalent to watching porn. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she's just watching child porn. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's illegal on her side. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, working for Chris Hanson? Jesus Christ. For you, I feel like that's not as much, I feel like grooming is probably like a more, I don't know. But I should be able to also, I deleted all of it because it's on Facebook, but I should be able to have those dick picks

because I want to know how much I've grown since then. Like as a guy, you're not just as a person. Exactly. Your dick grows the same length as your legs. So you never know, you're never like, oh, it looks big when you're growing up. So like, I need it. It's like. Imagine if your dick grew first, like babies just came out with like wapping.

Oh, God, that would be five-inchers and the rest of their bodies. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That's big, right? For a baby. That'd fuck men up just so psychologically. If we came out with like nine inch dongs and then. like by the time we're 30 or 40, it's like,

yeah, it's like the same size. It's just like, oh my gosh. It's like Benjamin Button, his dick gets smaller. That kind of does happen. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Oh, that's such a good idea. A reverse Benjamin Button.

A Benjamin Button, but it's like only his dick. Only his dick. Yeah, like, oh, like he grows up with like a huge healthy dick. And then as he, or like, or no. I guess it starts out not working and he's like, what's going on? And then he gets like super old. these like the hottest piece of ass in the nursing home.

But just his ass. Just his ass. Just his ass and his dick are like newborns. It's beautiful. Yeah, actually that's a terrible idea. I take that. I disagree. I think it's a great idea for a movie.

Yeah, I would watch it. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. I'd love to be in it. I'd love to experiment. Is it the same guy that did for scum? Is this sag or after? No, no.

Brad Pitt is. No, that made the movie. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it's such a weird left turn. You're like, all right, you know how Forrest Gump was good? What about a movie about a guy who's born like an old baby? And then he goes back and then he becomes... Well, I know Benjamin Button was based on a book.

I don't know about Forrest Gump, though. But... Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I guess... I'm the only one I don't like Tom Hanks as that. He just plays less mentally challenged Forrest Gump in every movie. I'm like, that's less mentally challenged Forrest Gump landing a plane. That's less...

Yeah, Tom Hanks, like, rarely plays, like, a character that you don't find lovely. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to watch him just be a piece of shit. He in, Catch Me If You Can. He's a dick, but he's a lovable dick. Not even a dick.

He's just like a proper dick sort of in a way. No, I mean, I think he has a stick up as at the beginning, because I've watched that movie maybe like 60 times. I love that movie. It's the best. Like, and they just put it on Netflix, so I'm, or maybe they didn't. I don't know. I think it's on Netflix.

But at the beginning, you're like, what a fucking ass. Like, just let this kid go. And then, but then you find out he's got, like, this daughter and, like, this whole family. And then you're like, what a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a good asshole. Like, I, I, I was trying to catch Lena Art of Capri. Yeah, yeah, man.

It's just because he's jealous of his looks. That's probably it the whole time. He's like, oh, man, I wish I was a looker like him. That's one that people start getting mad about now that he's dating younger girls. Also. People are getting kind of weird about it. He literally got famous at fucking 12. Yeah, yeah.

Wait, also, but wait, in that movie, that's a movie where he's, like, 15. Oh, and he's just banging, like, grown-ass living. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like, you know what if the old man's touching me? I'm touching them. Yeah, yeah. Guarantee you. But, I mean, yeah, he's, he's dating, like, 22-year-old women and stuff.

But at the same time, I don't care. I'm like, it's a little creepy, but it's not like, I don't think this is canceled. Same with the Matthew Perry stuff. None of that was, like, cancelable. I don't know why you were like. You know what the thing is, is that, like, the eight, so he's been dating, like, 22-year-year-old women since he was 22. You stick with something and you like it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. I get chocolate ice cream every time I go. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to mix it up. Yeah, you think he has commitment issues? Absolutely not. He is committed to women who are 22 years old. His whole time.

He's committed to an age. He's not butch. That's beautiful. I am committed to loving one year. One person. Yeah, one type of person. Also, and it's like he's never going to run out of him either. No, no.

He's always going to have money. I mean, maybe in like 30 years he'll date somebody. Who's 23. Yeah. It was like 30 and we'll be like, wowly, yeah. This is way better. Because your perception has to change, you know what I mean? Because it was like, I feel like as you get older, younger people look younger.

So I'm surprised it just didn't change. You know what I mean? Because as you get older, it's like that person. Now I see like high schoolers. And I'm like, oh, they're not as hot as I remember. Oh, I'm not interested. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, I feel like I'm way more interested in people that are like a lot older than me these

days and stuff. Well, not, and by a lot older, I mean, you know, I'm just repulsive. I want to learn. I don't want to review. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to like, even, like, I'll see guys on dating apps that are like 22 or 23. I'm like, not for me. But if I see like 38, I'm like, hey, I don't know.

Baby. Oh, my God. I've never. Yeah. I know. That's like nine years older than me. Yeah. My favorite though is when high school, though, when girls had to go.

date like 25 year old guys and they'd be like I'm just mature for my age I'm like nah he's just no no you're just 18 that's what you are. Nobody who is mature says I'm mature for my age. I immediately know you're under 20 to 21. I know for a fact. I'm sure he's fucking you because you're on an accelerated reading level. You know what I mean? It's not like... I honestly like when I do, I will like

go on dates with guys who are older than me and stuff and like I'll look at, I'll like be totally interested in them and I'll like talk to them and I but I do look down on them. I'm like, I know you're fucked up for like me piece of shit. Like I do, even though like I'm like you're 10 years older than me but I hold the higher ground because I know there's something whack and do

going on your brain that you think that like I know that you don't respect me and up so I respect you so that's kind of how I feel about it. Yeah, that is a weird thing yeah that's a weird balance

but I do think at the same time there are people that are very mature for their age but it's like it's like if you only date somebody of certain age it's like yeah I was talking about you specifically I appreciate that at the same time though

I have a ton of friends of all different ages yeah yeah but when it comes to like dating somebody who's older than you or younger than you I mean, like, that's, that's so different because you're, like, sharing a life. Yeah. And I think the different things, people go through different things, different ages, though.

So I think that, like, a lot of people, sometimes it definitely works out with a big age gap. But sometimes it just doesn't because, like, one person's like, all right, I don't like the same shit you like. So, like, you know what I mean? It's like, sometimes people are at such different levels that it's, like, harder. Like, I hear about people dating older people and they're like, oh, they're super into this. And I'm not at all. Like, I don't want to start relaxing. I want to go out of them younger and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah. It's not that they're more mature. It's just like they might not enjoy. way that because like I always hated like people that are like oh yeah I don't go out anymore because I'm more mature it's like you're not more mature you just your body can't handle it as much like don't like you get tired you weren't doing this 10 years ago you know yeah yeah yeah you didn't learn about party and you're like you know what I actually don't like that's like no you're just getting tired because you're getting older. And then at the same time like if somebody is like 10 years older

than you and like I was dating this person who was like 10 years older than me and they were like blacking out every weekend and I was like oh that's cool we had that in common but I'm like oh man when I'm that age I hope I'm not you know blacking out every weekend and like doing Coke every weekend you know I don't know I mean I would love to have that much money but like I oh my God I you know

I don't know it's it's very strange maybe you get the Coke it's not got with the fentanyl yeah yeah yeah yeah I will make it to age 33 what coke or fentanyl but out of fentanyl somebody's like dude I can't find fentanyl anywhere I'm looking for it and I hate cocaine

you literally have to try Brooklyn I guess yeah Oh, man. Yeah, anybody doing Fenton all these days? Probably unintentionally, probably. I mean, I don't do. The worst is this weekend because, like, I don't do Coke.

I think the last time I did it was like January. I really don't do it anymore. But we were, we went to this beach house. And all my friends are staying up doing a Coke. And I'm like, you know, I'm going to get a good night's sleep. I fall asleep for two hours. I wake up and I don't get any sleep the whole night. And they just, they're sleeping great.

They had like a fun night of Coke. And they're like, yeah, no, I feel great. And I'm like, I didn't do Coke. And I feel like garbage. Wow. And the worst is like, I'm not. even like nobody's awake. So I'm just like sweating at this fucking beach house. I just like

I can't see. I tried everything. I took Melitone. I jerked off. I drank a bunch of beers. You jerked pot. You jerked off in a house of your friends. Not like I went to the bathroom. You're like I was staring at them. I went for like a little walk or something.

If you have trouble like you can hang your like just a walk and jerking off. I'm like I love the sound of the ocean with my motion. This is great. Oh man. No. Melitone doesn't work. You're just fucked It helps a

bad mood. Oh my God, I would be so anxious. Well, that's the annoying part too is when you take it like later, because at that point

I'm taking melatonin at like 5 a.m. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, it's so late because like, you're before like, no,

I don't want to take this and then by the time it's too late then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not fun. Great Beachtown though. If you want to watch

high schoolers fight 711 employees. Yeah. That's definitely what I would like to do. The beach. Yeah. Yeah. Beach is in Connecticut

are not like that. Yeah, you have to pay and, um, we have to pay for some of it, but you can kind of like, you have to pay if you want to bring your car on, but besides that, you can just,

what do you mean? Oh, like, park your car there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, if you want to park your car on the beach, you have to do that,

but the beach itself. Like, you mean like on the, like sand? Yeah, yeah, you can do that. What? Yeah, yeah, Daytona and New Somerney, you can do that, yeah.

Why? Why not? Because like, why not? You said it all up. You can play your music, and then you sit in the back of the car like a tailgate and then you just get drunk.

Oh my gosh. And then you drive home. I can't even imagine this in my head. Yeah. That's so good. Every beach I've ever been to, I feel like it's a parking lot. Oh, really?

Yeah. That's weird. Or like... There's parking lots around the beach, but like so like you pay to go to the beach or but like sometimes we'll just like park like just on the street somewhere and then just take our shit and... Oh my gosh. That is so cool.

It's also danger. I mean, every year there's like some. kid that dies on the beach. Oh, it comes to the territory. It's like, you know, that's like, you know, when some, you lose some.

Yeah. It's what you get for skinboarding into the ocean. Yeah. Oh, that's so cool. Learn a rap. Oh, my God. I know that's like really not a big deal,

but I'm like, what have I been missing out? Also, I think the beaches of Connecticut, there's got to be cold, right? I mean, not in the summer, you know. But, like, and I don't know, my cousins have a house. on Long Beach Island. So, like, I've been there. That's another beach I've been to.

But, again, that's, like, not a place you can bring your car on to the beach. You have to walk onto that. That sounds pretty shitty. I like that beach. It's probably a lot of classier than, like, our beaches. Oh, it is, it's like, because that's where all the, you know, Republicans live in the summer. It's, like, everybody's summer house, which is so cool to go to. Yeah, yeah.

But it is too classy, you know. like everybody, you can't get any sandwich under like $9. You can't eat any sandwiches. No fucking sandwiches. It's actually a trick. If you order a sandwich, we arrest you.

Yeah, yeah. They're like, obviously you're not supposed to be here. Yeah, it's humiliating to eat a sandwich there. Also, because everyone's like really hot. And like, you eat a baseball there. That's the hard part of the beach, though, is like a guy. Because, like, I remember when I was single, like, you see a group of girls and they could be 15 or 25, like from a distance.

Yeah. And then finally they get close enough. There's no. Bathing suit marketing is not like, like, bathing suits are not done well. I'm so used to fucking bikinis. I'm just like, cool. You want to see something different? No, I just love one pieces.

Cover her up. Oh, no. I just love the way of one piece. I want to see a fully dressed baron at the beach. I know there's Burka bathing suits for a while. Oh, these women are at the beach right now, right? Yeah. Smoking cigarettes at the beach.

Oh, those nuns? Yeah, they're really beautiful. That's the perfect bathing suit. Yeah, I want to get a one piece. I haven't been to the beach in, like, so long because I didn't go last year. Yeah, yeah. And the burger bathing suit. You look like a tall tubby.

Yeah, I'll just do that. I'll just wear the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was part of that, like, inclusive bathing suit line thing when they were like, we have bathing suits for everybody. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Everybody. Yeah. How come I couldn't find us? They're all, they're all, like, insanely small. Yeah, that's probably what it is. One size fits all. No, it's fine fit in one size. Yeah, it sounds like it wouldn't fit most people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One size fits all. I'm like, that's not even a thing. That's like not, that's remote. That's physically impossible. Do you make that of a flubber? Like, what? I'm like, I have friends of all different sizes.

Yeah. Unless it was made out of whatever the Hulk has and his, I don't know how like, when the Hulk gets big, like, it's weird that his pants still are kind of on him, just so his dixon. I know. It's like the ribs, but I'm like, okay, you still, a gene would not fit on a leg. What if he wears, like, what if he wears, like, really, really big

boxers like all the time. He's got like parachute pants on underneath his pants. That's the whole He's got actually a stretchable Daisy Duke pair Oh yeah because that's what it looks like Actually what if he like has a really small dick

Yeah he's a never nude. Did you guys ever see that? There was this college humor sketch about Yeah with the Hulk's trying to get like Yeah where the girl's like trying to get him mad just so she can see his giant dick And he's like are you trying to piss me off so you can see my dick Yeah.

And she's like no And then he, like, paints himself green. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, I'm so angry. It's like, whatever, it's over. Yeah. What if it was the other way? Yeah, he just gets angry as dick.

I think it's most people. I think your dick. I've never been hard and angry at the same time. Do your dicks get hard when you're angry? No, no, it's the opposite. Your dick actually, when you're, the more you're like adrenaline's pumping, your dick actually, like, gets inside you. Like, I want time, I was like a fight break out.

The more my adrenaline's pumping a dick gets inside me. Yeah. Also, when it gets cold, balls just, phew. Yeah. Oh my god, this makes me want to like scream at men in the street You're just watching your dick's small right now, isn't it? Yeah, like, yeah, you have a small dick now. They're like, what the fuck you say?

Why is she correct? Yeah. Yeah. Unless you take blue chew and you're just hard all the time. Yeah, oh, is this an ad? Yeah, yeah. Speaking of Blue Chew, uh... Speaking of Blue Chew, uh...

I recently learned that Blue Chew is not a gum. I thought it was like a Viagra, but it's like gum. Like, you could have blubbles with that. Well, that would get into your system. I don't know. You just swallow the gum. It's not like razzles. I don't know.

That's funny. Every product is just trying to get kids on it. So what emotions can you have with a hard dick? Can you be sad with a hard dick? It's possible. Yeah. It's possible. It's possible.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's only one emotion. It's just like horny. Yeah, because like you got to be relaxed and horny. Because if you're tense and horny, your dick doesn't get hard. No. Yeah, and it's like a weird middle. It's like a six out of ten hard.

Yeah, yeah. That's so true. That's so life-saving of the penis, because I would be terrified if I had a dick. You just get angry, and then you're hard. I just sort of off of a fight. Yeah, like, what if you're hard? Grandma die.

You should have the biggest boner. The rest of peace, grandma. That was the day for me. I used to always get boners in church. It's like the worst place to get a boner. I would get boners in school counting the dogs. on the ceiling. I don't know why.

Are you autistic? Yes. Yes. Big time. Big time. Oh, man. That's fine. Because I feel like I've been horny in public so many times.

What's up? I feel like I've been horny in public so many times. Everyone has. Like constantly. It's like weird. Like you can be staring at a ceiling fan. You're like, uh, whoa. Oh, my.

Yeah. No, school a lot. No, that school a lot. Well, because you're just bored. And you're just like thinking about stuff. you're in class and you're like, oh my God, I remember, and people are making TikToks about this all the time, but I remember, like,

I would, like, hook up with somebody and then I go to school, then I, like, like, college the next day, and I would just be, like, in class, just, like, you know, thinking about it. I'm like, oh, my God, what the fuck? I'm in class, Claire, what do you do it? Like, you can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, oh, my God. Sometimes you get a good dick and then you've got to think about again. Yeah, yeah. It's fair. Yeah. Makes logical sense. It's crazy.

It's so funny. Now I'm here right now on your couch. just like, ha ha, yeah. Oh, David, yeah.

Oh, David. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I feel like I had that I've never like, oh,

I had a good fucking, it's more like future fucks I think about. I'm like, that's gonna be good when I have sex. Okay.

Tomorrow. You know what I mean? I'm never like, yeah, yeah, that was so great yesterday. Oh, really?

I'm definitely a past thinker. Oh, really? Yeah, I hooked up with somebody recently, um,

I just made out with somebody outside of my building. and every time I walk by Just some fucking dude It was my super No I'm just kidding I just saw somebody I was like yeah over here

I can do it I went on this day And yeah But now every time I walk by that corner In my building I'm like It was so nice It was pretty sick

Like I keep thinking about it I'm thinking I'm thinking about it Yep I do keep thinking I definitely think about The past more than the future

Because the future is sad Because it's like What if it doesn't happen You know I think about the future when I'm jerking off. I've heard for single people this summer is going to be the horniest summer of life. Oh my God.

Are you? This is a white boy summer meets a Jordan Belford summer. I plan on having sex with a black guy with a white boy summer. Oh God. I want to high five him so bad. Yes. Can I high five you? That's amazing.

That's great. I can't but like how did Chet Hanks? What went through his head to say that? Like that's not even like, like if it's a white boy life. It's not even like ironically funny in that context. It wasn't a summer. No, no. It was everyone just please stay inside.

It's kind of summer. And then most of us were just like, no. The one thing I thought was funny about the protest is everybody was like say their name. And Ahmad Arbery, people gave up on. People say his name. They're like, Amada. Okay. Let's say Brianna Taylor's name.

People are like just not. Also just white people chanting. Say his name. It's like that's not for you. This is for you to be a bystander and like and be a part of the protest. But don't chant. You are the first shield to talk. I went to some protests.

And people and there were white people. Like, hands up, don't shoot. And I was like, no, like, we're okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should not be saying these things, honey. Yeah, yeah. People do that. That's so weird to do the black power pisses.

Like a white person. Yeah, no, no, no way. You know our things like this. You know what it looks like. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Open it up.

Let the air in. Let the air in. It looks like they just like getting fisted. Yeah, yeah. Get fisted. I'm like, whoa, dude, that is so sexual. And they're like, no, man. What if they just made their fist black?

Like, just a black face. Like, not black face. not technically it, just by face. Now it's black face. Now it's not. Oh, man. Yeah, no. There were like, no. There was, there was, there was some black people in Connecticut.

But like the one from my, there was one I went to that I wasn't proud to be a part of because it was like only white people. And then it, and then during the moment of silence, people started chanting. I mean

like supportive things, but it's It's like, this is the eight minutes we're supposed to be, like, quiet. Yeah, yeah. It was very, like, it was very for social media. Like, oh, yeah. And it was really annoying to be there because people were just, like, there to, like, take pictures. And, like, those were my favorite. And, like, what are you?

I'm like, this is not. I was like, go home. Don't, this is not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're here to, like, show that you were here, presentable or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just talk about it on a podcast. Not a done.

So, yeah. People know. Yeah, just brag about how you went to a BLM protest on a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. an audience and there's like, there's like light claps

and I'm like, oh, just lie. It seems like you don't support. Yeah. But also, it's so weird to like just clap. You know, it's like a white person like I was there. Yes, I did. Don't forget to look at me. That's exactly what I hear in my fucking head when I hear that.

I know somebody who like went to I think like one protest. Now I sound like an asshole. I'm like only one. I went to like fucking two. I was on my protest tour They went to a protest, and they got tested for COVID after the protests, and they wouldn't stop reminding me that they're like, oh, yeah, I got tested because I went to the protest, by the way, so I know I don't have COVID because I got tested after the protest.

And I was like, oh my, my God, I was like, you don't. I would have just been like, can you say protest one more time? I was like, wait, why did you get tested? Wait, which protest did you get tested in? Yeah. It's funny than like throwing bricks through windows and, like stealing you. I was tested. It's cool.

It's cool. It's cool. Yeah. I got tested and the second brick at a protest. Yeah, yeah. And then a third break, which is this protest. Yeah, man. I remember just people being like,

did you go into any protests? I was like, no, I did the best thing any white guy could kept my fucking mouth shut. All I did, and I crushed it. Yeah, yeah. You know how much weed kept me high and I was at home? The people who, the white people who didn't tweet

during the protest. It looked Nazi. High five. Yeah, this is bad looking. We're not on video yet. I would say the people who didn't, the white people who didn't, The white people who didn't tweet during the movement are the real heroes.

Like, thank you for being so. I posted a photo of Brianna Taylor. I did my job. Thank you very much. I retweeted. I amplified other people's voices. I donated to the George Floyd. Yeah, yeah. To the George Floyd.

To the George Floyd. Not George Floyd. To the George Floyd. Very different guy. Really great. That would be so much. There's just a guy named George Floyd on Vembo. She's getting like a fuck ton of shit.

It's like, oh, my God. I bet you that happened. Oh, man. Hi guys, this is my go-fund me. My name's George Floyd. Send! Not the George Floyd. I'm a different guy.

This is George G-O-R-G. Yeah, it's spelled here. I'm German. Gorge Floyd. That was the funny. I saw somebody, there was a Tony Hinchcliff thing where there's a random guy named Tony Hinchcliffe. I was like, guys, I appreciate if you'd stop.

I'm a different Tony Hitchcliff. He's getting all these horrible DMs. Oh, no. Because of that stupid shit. Oh, man. Oh, that happens with everything. I can't wait to meet a worst person named Claire Alexander. I'm actually really excited for that.

I'm like, oh, well, at least I'm not the worst person named Claire Alexander. But then if they start fucking shit up, you're so done. Oh, man, yeah. Like any other Casey Anthony just, like, has to change their job. Done. That's so true. You got to do something. Either change their name or kill their kid because they're going to get accused of it.

Yeah, might as well. He should change her name more. Get an abortion. You know, that's... That would suck if she didn't do it. She's like, that's the worst reputation, dude. Yeah, but she did. You know?

I was listening to like... a podcast about it recently, not intentionally. I don't know how. You're a girl, you like serial killer podcast. I know, I'm like, I swear I'm not like other girls, but this just, you know, got on my radar and I was like, oh, you know what? This is, this is even worse. I was watching a literal makeup tutorial and the girl was like talking about murder while

she was doing the makeup. Yeah, it's like, how, like, how much of a woman can I like be here? But yeah, and she was talking about it. And I'm like, because I was thinking that too. I was like, well, maybe. I'm like, I have no idea. I like, this could be like a whole conspiracy. And then it's like, the girl was like, no, there's no way she didn't kill her kid.

Oh, a thousand percent. No, yeah. Had to have. I don't know how, though, because that's the problem. She's like the 2010 version of Terry Shivo, basically. But she did it on purpose, too. She wasn't like, it wasn't like a mistake that she tried to cover up. I think she fully tried to kill the kid.

You don't think it was like she left her in the car and she died and then she's like, I should chop her up now? I think from the beginning, like she didn't want to kill. I don't know. Casey seems crazy. Yeah. Is she guilty? I forget. She was not guilty.

She's still out there. She's chilling. She's chill. She's in Florida's finest. Orlando. Yeah. Wow. I wonder like what happened.

Hang out with all those black skateboarders. I wonder if she like goes to bars and they're like, dude. Oh, if I was single out of sex the case, I would too. You can't tell me that that pussy just doesn't go. Ugh. Just fucking pulls you in. Are you kidding? Yeah.

You can put a baby. I know if I get her pregnant. She's not. No. We're fucking fine. Hey, abortion? Late term? You got it.

Oh, my goodness. What do you want to go, Fiji? All right, let's go. Oh, that's crazy. Oh, shit. I'm getting a call for my pause. Uh-oh. Let me pause this.

And we're going, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yeah. I don't know who we're doing that to us. But I should just put him on speaker while we're talking about like. Yeah. Would you fuck Casey Anthony?

Where can we find you this week? Oh, I'm doing a sponsor at work where you should be. You should be every day wanting to kill myself. I came up with that. This is, sorry for disrupting the conversation. A while ago I came up with a really good Fuck Mary Kill and it was Casey Anthony Fuck

What was the Tiger King woman? Oh, Carol Baskin Carol Baskin And Rachel Dolazzo all Fuck Mary Kill In that order In that order

I would probably kill Carol Baskin I'd fuck Casey Anthony And Mary Rachel Dolesall Yeah Actually yeah that seems That seems pretty I would do

Yeah, because Carol Baskin, she's not attractive, and she killed her husband. So you don't want to marry her because she already has a track record. We've already proved Casey Anthony got that grip grip. Exactly. That's right. And then Rachel Dolazol, you can go anyway. Be like, you married a black girl? Like, no, that's Rachel.

Well, what's it called thing? Was the Casey Anthony has nudes. So it's like they're in there. You're good. So it's like, you already know what she looks like, yeah. Yeah, I feel like you know what you're getting with Casey Anthony. I think I would maybe almost marry Casey Anthony before marrying Rachel Dolzol. Really?

I don't know. I don't know. She's so crazy. But the other two are murderers. So that's the only thing. That's true. Yeah. That's why I marry Rachel Zollahillow.

Carol Baskin killed her fucking husband with a tiger. That's not crazy. Maybe you could. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't feel bad there because my boss is coming. I do got to go. That's fucking gee.

Okay. Sorry I was so short. It's totally fine. Where can they find you online? Or what do you want to know? Just any, I'm at Claire Bear Pairs on everything. And Nico? I'm at Pear Bear-Ber Claire on it.

That'd be great. I'm at ironic pun here on everything. That's basically it. All right, sweet. Sorry, it's such a short episode. All right. Love you guys. Yeah, thank you.

I love you.