Morning Good - Careful Now - Episode 95

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Happy 4th of July from us at Morning Good! Hope everyone's feeling patriotic and not suicidal. Please go check out these very funny comics for more jokes, clips, stand-up dates, and more.Dan is on IG and Twitter both @danmancarney. Joey is on IG @joeydeef and hosts @goodcrackpodcast with Matty Ferrara.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good? No, I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right here with Joey D. DeFredo de Alfa de. Joey de fucka mo wife. Is it recording? Is it on? Yeah, we're all good.

stare at the recorder because Dan Corny turned his fucking stupid mic on. I did not turn it off. Why would I turn my microphone? You're right. You just didn't turn it on because you're fucking stupid. Why would I not turn it on? If I sit down you, first of all, you text me when I'm on the way here, we go, you go, no, we're doing

it at your place. That was never agreed upon. You thought you assumed that we would do your pockets of my place and it's my fault that you never turned my mic on. Correct. Okay, I'm on board now. I'm on board now. You know what, now I kind of like it better. I feel like we're loosened up.

Every podcast should just do an hour of fake prelims. Fucking up. Warm up a little bit. Yeah, a little warm up action. Yeah, a little warm up. Listen, I don't care about anything now. No. I'm fired the fuck up.

Nothing really matters. None of it matters. I got to be honest. It's like an open mic, right, Dan? Dan's worn out. He's like, I don't have it in me. I'd be honest. I was throwing a heat.

Yeah, in the last one. Through a perfect game. I was kind of caring the last one. Yo, you got a word, dude. You really were throwing out the, is we had nothing. I was, I was, I was, I was, I wasn't as all on as I could be, but compared to you guys, I was pretty, pretty on. I was off, man. I don't know what brought me back. You were like Maverick and Top Gun. I was like, Maverick and Top Gun. That's exactly what I was like. And both of them. Yeah.

And I'm both. I was like Tom Cruise at a Scientology press conference, or meeting. Dude, that's got to be a next. We've seen him in the open. Imagine behind closed doors. Oh my God. High on cocaine. I don't know if he does it, but he does. Dude, him addressing, like, being a Scientologist and having him, being, like, in one of their theaters or arenas or what auditoriums and having him address you. Because, like, it's the, what would be the, it's. It's, it's like Baptist Church. Like, he's just going off about Zinu. But, but, like, the places that the render is, like, so much, it's the, the ornaments, like, the, the decoration.

Like, they go the extra mile with, like, it's an entire thing. And just having him there all dressed up. probably has like metals, like a general little wear. Have you seen that picture? Yes. Yeah. You see a picture of him. It looks like a giant.

Space Force. There is one where it looks like he has like a flavor, flave like size metal. That's incredible. Yeah. That's so awesome. It is cool. It's like the eye of Zinu or so.

Yeah. People act like kings don't exist. They just do in smaller, in different communities. Yes. I want to see him like sacrifice like a human being. Like in front of other Scientologists. Is your mic on?

Oh, dude. Thanks for looking out. No, no. We're good, we're good. The one guy's like, I'm not gay no more. I am delivered. Oh, in Scientos. I think you could be gay in Scientot.

That might be one of the few things. It's actually the most progressive religion. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shut the hell. Unless you're a lady. Like, I know there was, I watched a documentary, and Tom Cruise is like, yeah, so I want like a woman there.

And make sure, can you dye her hair brown? He, like, saw a picture of this girl's like 17. He's like, I want it brown, darker brown. They like, have plucked out people, women within Scientology and, like, giving them hundreds of thousands of dollars of making. makeovers and clothes and all that shit. Just to be his, just to be his girlfriend.

Boy, but isn't he... But isn't he gay? What's going on with him? Is he gay or is he not gay? I don't know if he's gay. I can totally see Tom. He might be by. I knew somebody...

Slingin bussy. Yeah, I also, I knew some of... You didn't know anyone that had dirt on Tom Cruise. I'll tell you that right now. Dirt on Tom Cruise? Oh, you'd be surprised. No one has dirt on Tom Cruise. Oh, it's not sure.

The church... You're saying homosexuality's dirty? You're saying there's dirty? I'm not saying... Careful now. All right. T. T testosterone. You say that because he's

teabagging men with his You're saying he's trans? Exactly why. Yeah, you're calling him a tea? I'm not calling him a tea. I'm saying, you know, there's no secrets about...

So, you know, someone that... Mission Impossible. That he's gay? So I know somebody whose mom worked at a hotel. His story's not holding up the second it comes out of it now. It already sounds incredible.

It's like the Captain America's story. You're just like, yeah, it's related. I know someone who's making a call at a pay phone across our hotel once. It was all the president's men. So you know this person too. Who could do that again? That was the worst

mouthing. It's a hard named mouth. This is like he's trying to Michael's trying to mouth the word and he just like stuck his tongue in his teeth and didn't even open it. You're not even doing it. Mr. Wade? It's hard to do. It looks like Mr. Lane. It's got L's in it. Lindsay? No, no, no, no. It's not

Lindsay, you're safe. Leia? No. I'm going to say the person. Yeah, say it. You're not saying their last name. Oh. That's a hard name.

Hard name to fucking... We'll bleep it out. Yeah. We'll bleep it out. But anyways, this person's mom said they worked in a hotel where Tom Cruise was, and there was dudes being brought up there. How do you know it was sexual?

Come on. Yeah, maybe they were just... Being in a hotel with the man. Come on. God damn. And he got me again. Dude, I don't... I don't even.

Fellas, is it gay in a room with your friend? Yes, don't even. Come on. If you go to another man's hotel room, you're having sex. You are having gay, but sex. You are having gay. 100%. Yeah.

We'll see. Yeah. It's. Dude, what if you, like, got invited to meet Tom Cruise, but it was like at his hotel and you got there and you just like naked? Like, what would you do? Like, Michael Good. In that situation, it's just you and him.

I can see him being motivational while fucking you. He's like, come on. man, you got this. No, he would be like smacking the shit out of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, man, get into it. Yeah, come on, come on, embrace it. You know how many people are hurting their lives on the line for you? Dude, you got, come on.

Come on, man, come on, this is fun stuff we're having here. Let's make it good. Make it good, make it hard. God, you have so much in you. Yeah. And then he said, can we cut on ACAM, please? A-CAM, what the hell's going on? Oh, you know, because isn't he also like an actor-director-guy? Yeah.

Yeah, he's for sure shooting. He's for sure hopping behind the gay porn. scene being like, we can get that right angle. We'll get to go back and do it again. Yeah. I feel like you... Throw your bussy into it.

You didn't see the base of my cock in that show. The base, that's where the power comes from. Without the base, you got nothing. The base you got nothing. That's the soul chakra. Yeah, yeah. I want to see Michael's eyes when I'm fucking.

When I'm fucking Michael, I want to see his eyes. I want to see me in those eyes. Imagine the look, that deep stare when you're getting fucked by Tom Cruise, man or a woman, he probably's by. It probably turns you to do a Scientologist. Yeah, it's, it's... Because he's the highest level, so he, like, does, like, brain control on you, mind control.

You're looking at the craziest man on Earth while he's... He's one of my favorite actors. He's electrically entertaining. Yeah. Like, it's... He's so present and, like, animated, and, like, it's incredible. Dude, he... Yeah, he could do it.

Yeah. He could do it to me. Oh, he could... Oh, Tom Cruise. T.C. He could take me out for a cruise. Tom Cruise. Cruz more like thick cock, am I right?

Careful now. More like, let me put my mouth. Or tiny, what if, like, you saw who's naked and he just was completely smooth down there? He's like, he's like an action figure. He doesn't even have a butthole. He's like, he just has cheeks. You're like, you know what? It's fair.

People worship you. It makes sense. You know what? I give it to him. This guy's a real life GI-I. Are you going to ask about my, my, uh, the, I don't have a cock or a button? No, I thought you'd be. You can ask about that, man.

You can ask about it. Come on, ask it. Ask me how it happened, man. I love talking about it, man. He just rubs it on your forehead. That's how he gets off. He's rubbing his mangina on your forehead. It's called a mangina, right?

It's not a real thing, but like... No, no, he doesn't have a vagina. No, he's like a barbie doll. It's just like smooth. That's what a mangina is. No. Incorrect. Careful.

Careful now. Can you look up, man... Can somebody look at mangina? Yeah, you can look it up. Can we pull that up? You can look up on your phone. My phone. This is Joey's vote.

I don't know. Do, hold, talk to Siri. I asked you the other day, what is the, what is the, what is the Mangina?

You have a friend named Michael Angelo? Yeah. That's pretty cool. Wait, wait, wait. Mark Mangino football coach. That's awesome.

It's just like some fat football coach probably like a fat Italian guy. So, really? Is that what it says? It's Mangino. It's like, listen.

Siri, Urban Dictionary, Lookup Mangina. Manjana is a hybrid station of a gay male culture slang referring to a man's anus I didn't know that No, it's a busiagina's a drug It's not a man perceives a feminine

Mangina effeminate See I thought a mangina was like a Like a just like a nothingness But that wouldn't make sense There would be a man nothingness It wouldn't be a mangina Yeah This is like this is like next level

Ken Barbie doll But I like to think it's almost got like It's almost a little more than a Ken doll Where it like almost like I like it protrudes It protrudes it comes out a little bit Okay But it's just like a sack of just skin.

What if there's a hole? Like he does have like a hole there and you're like, what the? And then in a smaller Tom Cruise comes out. Come on up in here, man. We're hanging out. It's crazy in here. We're hanging out inside of Tom Cruise, man. I made myself smaller.

I have a cock and balls. This one does. Come on up here, man. I'm hanging out inside of me. Tom Cruise. This is so much better than what we recorded before. She has a tiny, tiny, Tom Cruise living in Tom Cruise's mangina. We're getting to the bottom of real issues, man.

Yeah, yeah, I forgot how short he is. He, like, didn't, he had to wear, six. He had to wear, uh, that makes it all just so much better. He has Napoleon complex. Oh, for sure. I think he's, I'm going to be honest. I genuinely think he's probably a good person. I don't know about that.

I'm, I'm with Michael good on this one. If we're going to, if we're going to draw the line of the sand, you guys think he's better. I think he's good. What do you think he does? It's good. Yeah, let's break this down. I think he has a lot of heart.

That's what I think. That he's stolen for his followers. That's bad. I think the Scientology stuff is bad. Yeah, I feel like behind closed doors, you're gonna get hung up on that. Telling it, 17-year-old girl. How can you really love anybody?

I also throw ages on people. I don't know who's underrated. You throw who? What? Ages on people. I don't know if the girl is 17. I don't remember the documentary that well. So I'm just because I like,

I call people pedophiles. all the time. Okay. He's in Hollywood. It's all right. It's a fair to assume. But look, if you're getting it hung up on that, then how can you really love anybody? It's a good point. You know what?

Fair. There he goes with that point of his. Fair. I also, you're going to hate me for this. I don't love him as an actor. I love him as an actor. I haven't seen a lot. I like range.

Tropic thunder, dude. Okay. Tropic thunder. You're right. It's incredible range. You're right. Oh, no, I'm saying. Yeah.

You're right. I take that back. I take that back. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. You ever seen Jerry McGuire? No. That will sell you on him.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Dude. I like that Tom Cruise better than like the Mission Impossible. I don't care for stuff like that. Just in general.

In general, I don't get a shit. Like it's cool. It's fun to watch. Sure. But how can you watch seven of them? Dude, I'm out like, you legitimately have to be brain dead to like sit through like seven. I felt that way about top gun. I was like, oh, great.

Top Guns out. I didn't even give a fuck about the first one. I'm going to watch like shredded dudes. I had to watch it in school. like a film class like a high school Dude it's sort of I'm sorry

That just sounds like a teacher The fuck's kids He's like watch some top guns It's definitely the gayest movie It's the gayest movie Oh for sure yeah I remember What was it?

We had like The gayest movie Got your back goose Yeah Yeah Anyone named Goose is getting Fuck in the ass And they'd be like

Goose the Coos master Malone He's the master of Coos Yeah he's the master of bussy Dude it's also a bunch of shredded shirtless guys Playing high fiving Yeah but I also That scene is so gay.

That's the gayest scene ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gayer than the movie Fire Island. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is gay. It goes like top gun, moonlight, broke back Mountain. In that order. Magic Mike.

Magic Mike. Fire Island. Literally a video of a dude blowing another dude. Two dudes 69. Yes, that's like number six. Like, that's like not even close to top three. Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know.

It's, my favorite is, Val Kilmore was, like, mad about it because apparently he, there was his, I was watching behind the scenes with, uh, for, uh, Top Gunner. I remember, he-Vilmer's never done it for me. Yeah, I kind of get that. Like, and never, no, no, no, no one of me thought he was exceptional. He was in, though, it was apparently very good.

What movie did you say? Using some Western movies. As an actor, he said, he's always got me off as a man. Yeah. Careful as an actor. He always come to him. Yeah, never as an actor. I'm going to come.

It sounds like more like an old man. than Trump. Yeah. But he also sounds weird when he does that thing. You know, I'm gonna talk about gum because I might come too much.

But, yeah, no, but there was a behind the scenes of, uh, you're getting a serious look right now. I'm listening to you. All right, yeah,

there's behind the scenes of, uh, the hell. What the hell? Top gun where he goes, I'm telling you, Tom cut out shots of me. He went to the director

and told him to take out shots of me because I looked hot that day. There was 30 shots of me looking sexy that never made it film. I'm telling you Tom. It's definitely a gay porn. You know, they genuinely like hate each other on set. I see, I

side with Tom Cruise 10 out of 10 times. He knows what he wants. Yeah. I have no problems with that at all. Are you in Scientology? If he thinks Valcomber should be cut out of a shot, then that's the right choice. Cut him out of there. Get him him the hell out of there. What's he still doing in there? You're in a relationship. Tom Cruise

wants to fuck your girlfriend. What are you doing? Sounds like the right decision. Did Tom Cruise want to do it? Did he want to do it? I don't think he? I don't think he would make a bad decision. What would Tom? What would Tom Cruise do? Do you think he'd make all the right choices?

No, I'm just saying the decision if he's like, I think I should fuck your girlfriend. I'd be like, I think you should too. Hey, honey. This will be good for all of us. Tom Cruise wants to fuck you. I strongly encourage you consider it. Boys, last night was wild. Tom Cruise fucked my girl.

I think those are a lot of stories. You hear. I wouldn't even bring it up. but I wouldn't like get weird about it. I would. I would. I would be like, genuinely,

I would be shameful, but I'd also be like, it's Tom Cruise. How many people can say that? I talk about it like at my wedding. I'm like, honey, we gotta tell.

I get to tell him. To my vows. That night when you fuck Tom Cruise, that's how I knew you were the one. You're sure? I love the idea that she's fucking talk. She's like, yeah,

we'll have it over. But half the time, she just stop you from trying to fuck him. Like the whole thing. I met like a day's in. Yeah. She's like, do we have to keep doing this with Dan in the room? Dan's in the corner.

I'm going to go to the day's in. You fuck Tom Cruise. I'm going to watch Top Gun. She's like, I looked. She's like, I'm looking at the receipt now. You didn't get two rooms. Well, why would we need two rooms? Well, where are you going to stay?

Oh, I'm watching. Yeah. I'm going to be. I'm going to make sure Tom Cruise fucks. You know, there's a desk in every room. I'm going to be sitting in that chair watching this happen. And I'm going to sit there. If there's a moment where you don't look like you're into it,

I'm going to intervene. I'm going to pull the plug. You're saying this in a very weird way. You're implying that there would be ever a moment where Tom Cruise would make a mistake. He would not make a mistake. She'd be into it the whole time. That's what I'm saying. I don't need to be there.

There's no such thing is, there's no one I trust. Tom Cruise can't rape. There's no one I trust more than Tom Cruise. I don't need to be there. I know Tom Cruise is going to do a good job. He's going to take care of her and they're going to have a lovely evening together. Why do I need to be there? to ensure that.

My presence will only get in the way of that. I should be as far removed. I may take pictures of me off the wall. Any evidence of he has to be gone. I'll ask Tom how he wants the room to look. You're going to go the extra mile and you're going to paste his face on yours. I'm having a tier of decorator come in before

and change up a few things. I want you to make it look real space station. Like, you know, real Scientology, so you knew. Tom, see, oh, Tom's not gonna like this. Tom, you need to get this. Check out this out. Yeah. Do it at Tom?

Like, take like a tress around. Do we know anyone in? Tom. Anything, anything pre-80s. Are these floodlights? He fucking hates floodlights. He hates pre-war buildings. He hates.

We gotta do this at Dan's apartment. Wait, Dan, we're doing that. We're doing the, yeah. Tom Cruise is fucking my girlfriend in your apartment, right? That's what we agree to. You think the Jones across the street, We'll let us use their house. Hell, Mrs. Jones might get involved.

She's a huge fan. Well, relax. I only want him banging you, all right? Yeah, that would be upset. You got to Com Cruise. The saddest part of Tombers fucking your wife is when he has to stop fucking your wife. Yes. And then you have to go back to life as usual.

Yeah. No, I would be energized by that. Are you kidding? You would motivate him. That's the kick of the pants. Not even a kick of the pants. It's just like, it's just what I need. You know?

It's like going to a spa and like, drinking like a ginger shot. You go to work on Monday and like that light is a little bit brighter. Yeah. Yeah. You got to glow to your work on Monday. It's like I got fucked. You're at the water for the water. I mean, it's

anybody in a radius of Tom Cruise is getting fucked by Tom Cruise. He has a sense to him. Fucked feels too negative for Tom. For Tom. Love. It's he makes love. He's big in love. He's energizing you. He's creating

upon you. Yeah. Yeah. I I can see him fucking your girlfriend. He goes, touch my pinky. Go ahead, do it. Go ahead do it. Hey, do you feel that? You feel that?

You feel that? You feel that? It's a light trick right now. It's a light jerk. Dan, I promise you, she's going to have the best night of her life. And I'm doing this for you, man. Thanks, Tom Cruz.

It's not about me. It's not about hers. It's about you. Tom. No, I'm serious, man. Do you think I could go next, Tom? No. No.

No. I wouldn't even ask that. You guys are missing this completely. it's not about me. I'm not getting, you're missing this. Wake up. Wake up. It's not even about your wife. It's about Tom.

It's whatever you want. It could be any slack. It doesn't have to be my wife. It's making better for me. Well, hey, dude, it was good seeing you guys. It was good, uh, it was good chat with you fellows. I think that's all I got on Tom Cruise fucking. Good.

Yeah. Good. Now it's, dude, that's 19 minutes and nine seconds of Tom Cruise. We've done enough talking about it. It's time to just make it. Well, we hope you all go and see Top Gun. because that'll do it. Does he...

I haven't even seen the new Topka. Have you guys seen it? No. No. People say it's good, but... Nobody's saying... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don't care. I could give him... I'd rather catch my dad blowing a guy. The first thing I would say,

it's the guy from the birthday party. This is better than Top Gun. It's the same thing. What's the difference? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's the thing is people could say a movie's great and it will affect zero percent chances. of me seeing it or not. These movies incredible,

like, yeah, oh, I'll get around to it. Yeah, totally. I will never get around. It doesn't even, not even...

Dude, my one friend's like, I'm gonna literally sign up for the Air Force. I'm like, oh, I'm definitely not seeing it now. Yeah, that's the last thing.

Oh, that's a last thing. Oh, that's a thing. Oh, that's a thing. It's like lone survivor. I saw a lone survivor when I was younger and I'm like,

dude, honestly, maybe, maybe I should enlist. Like, I really should. There's people weeping coming out of that movie.

Top Gun? No, no. No, no. No, no. No, because they had Peter Gabriel at the end or in the credits singing heroes. I've never had an attachment to, like, patriotism that level. Like, I've, no. My patron... I hated American sniper. I didn't see it.

Apparently, they really, like, changed who he was. Apparently, dude, it was all the movies, what, 100% American propaganda. Yeah, yeah. I heard you for sure, like, murder, like... Dude, he claimed... His story is nuts. He claimed that he... But he admits it. It's not like somebody random... No, no, no. He said it. Chris Kyle said that

he perched on buildings during Hurricane Katrina and picked off looters. That is nuts. Which means that he would literally be a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's literally like, he's a serial killer. If that's true, if that's true that he did that.

Also, some people think that he lied about how many people he killed over there, but it's like, the guy who's not a good person. Yeah, yeah. Because you killed 200 people or whatever he killed, you should not be like, you're not a hero. Shouldn't write a book, you know? Yeah. Well, Tom Cruz, you want to talk about good people? Yeah, that is really funny that we were, we were hyped.

Like, Bradley Cooper was like, wildly respective played him and we're like, yeah, this is great. But then, like, nobody read the book that matched the movie because nobody like even, it's all the, it's all the patriotism nationalism, nationalist, so I'm not against, I'm not against like a little bit of patriotism. Because I think there, I'm like, I'm like, I got to have something. Dude, one, a nice USA chant at the bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go to, like, a developing country and he's picking off people. Yeah, yeah.

Like, what, what, it would be, well, they're had, we have to fucking honor this guy. It's good, it's because of the way he died. You know what I think? If he was still alive today, also he lied about, remember, you guys ever see the story? No, he's dead. Didn't, did some crazy guy shoot him in a shooting range?

He was an accident and he got shot in the shooting range. Oh, yeah, it's the end of the movie. PTSD thing, yeah. That's what the CK and Lewis CK stands for, Chris Con. You know that, right? Louis, Chris Kyle. Dude, well, you ever hear the story about Chris Kyle? He made up a story.

an accident. I don't know if it's an accident. I'm so sorry. It was a guy with PTSD or something. I think there was like a freak thing that happened. No, that's what that's, it was like a super fan. It was like one of those things. I don't think it was a fan, dude. It was another military person.

Yes. That's what I was. That had PTSD and like reacted like had like an episode. But you guys, there was a story. You know he's know Jesse Ventura. Yeah. Jesse the Body Ventura and former governor of Minnesota. He was Chris Kyle claimed that Jesse Ventura like he was like,

talking shit to him at a party and then Chris Kyle like hit him knocked him out like basically mature to be this big deal and then I got Chris Kyle or sorry Joseph Ventura like kicked out of like all the Navy seal

like get together as meetings and all that and it was 100% a lot Joseph Ventura took him to court and sued him and won yeah no none of this happened that's so funny to be like he like I punched Jesse he wrote that and he like write that in a book

or was it like a different thing? It was just like a story. The story of the thing that he met up and it caused him to like lose a lot of respect Because Chris Kyle was like A fucking hero Especially to those groups So like

Just Vitura within those circles Lost a lot of respect And all that shit And then like he was like Dude this is a fucking lie Yeah There's no one I It's a bull face one

Other next to Tom Cruise There's no one I trust more than Jesse Vitura It's very close Yeah I kind of like him I love Jesse Vitru I like what he did about He had a conspiracy show Really

That was all you can watch old episodes On YouTube one that Remember one time I was in high school. I got sick. I had like strep throat. And for like four days, I watched every single episode of that show on YouTube. That sounds like a fun show.

It was a great time, dude. It's so funny because you just couldn't do that now. I got really into that conspiracy, too, of like where he sued Chris Kyle for a tail. Oh, yeah. Anyone. Well, conspiracy theory, you can't, like, they used to have Joe Rogan questions everything,

Jesse Matrashro. Now you can't have a guy being like, guys, Jews created COVID. I don't know if we can put this on TV. Because, yeah, because it's true. Yeah. Why I said juice. Oh, you said juice.

Careful now. What's Bill Gates? I don't think he's Jewish. Cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that. Cut when I said that he changed his last name. From Gates and Steen? Yeah. I created this new thing called Microsoft.

Fucking Bill Gates, dude. I don't like him. I don't like him because like four people told me not to like him. And I'm like that. Dude, I just don't like him. Anyone that has $100 billion is a piece of shit. I don't agree with that. I do agree with that.

I think, I like Basis. I know he's a piece of shit. The fact he looks like... He's fun. He does steroids. That's cool. It takes very... Yeah, yeah.

That's why I like it. I love... I love the idea of taking steroids. But not now. You can't do it now. I've been taking a pretty years. Yeah, me too. Not now.

You got to do them when you're like 50. That's cool to like be a steroid guy when you get on some TRT when you're 50. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Is that testosterone replacement? Uh, yeah, replacement therapy. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. Dude, that's like what all those guys...

Why would I ever get my awesome testosterone replaced by some bitch testosterone? That would be funny if Bill Gates just got yoked tissue and started doing that's what's funny about Bill Gates. He tells us how to live healthy and then he's just like a schmuck himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's because he did he eat. You see how like there's like, there's like 3,000 cows found dead and like Oklahoma or something like that. Bill Gates. There's like, there was like, people were like Bill Gates killed these cows because he sells like fake meat.

I thought you're sick. a big steak. I love the idea of Bill Gates buying a farm and just going up and just stabbing cows. You just get some mini gun. It's like Grant Def Auto. You get some of those, you know those piano wires like from the mob? He's just jokes to each one of them individually.

And like a bunch of different ways. He like trips one of them made drugs. Well, you can also tip a that's just how he gets off. If you tip a cow it does. He gets one of them to kill himself. You're fucking nothing, you stupid cow. You ever notice how you're pull the trigger. Pull the trigger.

Piece of shit Then one cow's like, I voted Trump He's like, yeah, you're a piece of shit You should kill yourself I should kill myself How would a cow even What would be good way for? If you tip a cow, they die

That's not true. I thought, yeah, it is. No, no You thought the cow tipping was like cow murder. Dude, I'm pretty sure Why would that be like a fun? No, I'm pretty sure if you tip a cow Like they can't, they like end up dying or something like that.

No, no, no, I think they're fine. I think we're at to pull that one up. We might have to pull that one. But also, I don't know if fact-check anything. I strongly believe that that's not true. This guy knows, he watches on Jesse Ventura's a conspiracy show. According to Jesse Ventura. Not only can you tip them and they live, you can make love to them.

Jesse Ventura said it was true, then it's true. Anything he says. Yeah. You could tie a rope around the cow's neck and then just like, I don't know, maybe like get it to run. No, that wouldn't work. They'll probably rip the tree out of the ground. Dude, there was an old story, like, back in the winter. And, like, Ukraine, a farmer would put, he was putting VR guys.

on all of his cows when he brought them in for the winter because he would trick them into thinking they're on like a beautiful green pasture so they would still make good quality milk. That's awesome. Dude, like, imagine that shit. The cows are about to get slaughtered and they take off his Oculus.

That's what I do with my children. As soon as they're born, put the Oculus on. They're like, Daddy. I'm here. You're black on the Metaverse. They're like, wow, daddy. I mean, you can choose. What? Yeah.

You're raising the medias. Metaverse probably. Because like a video game you can do, it's like, what's the difference between that? 100%. Because I don't think you choosing a black video game character is black faces. I mean, dude, I was on the Metaverse recently in a special needs. You've been in there? Yeah.

I have a special needs boy. Yeah. This special needs boy came up to me and started chatting with me, but his character. Who would choose to be special needs of the metaverse? Well, no, dude. You just signed the face. You're like eyes further apart. Loves eating candy.

Yeah. Obsessed with Oreos. He died of candles. Yeah, crayons. Well, no, he came up to me, and I was like, we were throwing paper airplanes together. And his- Oh, he says to have paper airplanes at him,

because he was chatt. I had to throw, I had to bully him. No, he was like, he wanted to let him know that he was lesser than me, actually. That's the way they can learn. He challenged me. He challenged me. He's like, you want to race paper airplanes?

I'm my son of a bitch. I'm not going to let this kid come up in here and beat me in a race. I've whooped his ass. Wait, so there's paper airplane throwing in. His character was a tall, red-headed woman. And he was

audibly a boy. You should watch, there's this great documentary on Netflix. It's called Life 2.0. Highly recommended. And they spell life with a Y, right?

Because it's like... That I would have guessed that too. Yeah, it's life. Yeah. Do you think people are going to bring loved ones back from the dead into the meta-the-verse? I mean, we're already doing it with

concerts. You go see Tupac live. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's alive. Care of. You think he is? Operation Paperclip. He went to...

Argentina with the Nazis. That's a whole... The same guy. I got all the shit. Operation Paperclip. That's a good question with people. Yeah, people probably would. Maybe take out some of the bad qualities of people you love to die. You're like, eh.

Yeah, dude, he's kind of annoying. You guys don't make jib jabs. On grandfather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't make jib jabs with your loved ones. Yeah. It's a jib jab. That sounds racist. They decide him. No, no, no, no. The website, I know you're talking about it. Yeah. You don't, you don't take.

pictures of your dead loved ones and make jab jabs with them. Yeah, I know you're talking about. What you're fucking jib jabs and stuff. As you say, you're liberally using that. Because there's nothing wrong with it, Dan. If there was something wrong with it. Don't be, don't be saying J.B. up in here.

Jib jabs? J. J. J. No, that's from, um, that's from I think you should leave. He's like, sometimes I take my dead relatives and I put him into a jib jibb. And I, my mom's like, is your grandfather back from the dead? No, mom. It's just the jib jab.

Idiot. But they had them for elections because I remember that's when I was a kid, I thought I was like, I love George W. Bush because he was the one of the Jim G.GF video because they did this land is your land, this land is my land. Yes, I remember that one. It was like very early internet. So like you put basically just photoshopping somebody's face on like a shitty body. Yeah. But like the face kind of stays and the mouth kind of goes up and down like the puppet, like the jaw kind of moves. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds racist. Unless, I mean, you can make it. I'll find a way to make it. Yeah. I'll figure out about it. Let me sit on it for a little.

Press stop on the Zoom and... We'll be back. There's a... There's this... Racial slur database. There's like a website of it. It's like a thousand pages of... Dude.

We discovered it in high school. And we would play a game where we would... You'd pick like an obscure slur and had to guess what it was like. This sounds... Oh, God. I have my work phone.

I could use it. It was very fun. Some of them are just like... I'm like, oh, that's words on here. Sometimes people just... A lot of them, the problem is, I hate a lack of creativity. Some people will just throw the N-word

onto other things. That was like half of them. Yeah. That was 999. And then what is like... Those ones we wouldn't play because it was like, they would like...

It would be so obviously be like, shamrock, beep. But it's like, well, that's an Irish person. Spaghetti. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I only found out that Polak was an offensive term like two months ago.

Yeah, but dude, fuck. If you're a... Yeah, my girlfriend. I thought that was what you refer to them as. You can't completely... Oh, she's not. Yeah. She's American.

She's American. She's American. But it's also like, who gives a fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, that's why... Other countries do, though, like, outside of the United States, it's more about, like, what country you're from than what race you are. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Everywhere else it's like, oh, you're Spanish, you're Polish. Italy, it's like, are you from the North. from the north or south it's like well i'm a whopping either way right yeah yeah that's yeah they hate the sutherners over there yeah that is the thing right where like the sicilians are discriminating the northerners the northerners the southerners are like black no well that and also too like the south they're like well that and there's some other things too they're way like i'm no i'm southern the south it's not as developed like the north is where the city is that's where i'm from like the north is

where milan is that's where rome is like all the big cities the people in the south they're just eating spaghetti and relaxing all day. That sounds nice. I'm just jealous. Yeah, they are jealous. And then the Sicilians, they're just, you know, getting down. You know what I mean? I was not impressed by any of Europe.

I went there and I was like... I'm going to Japan in the spring. Oh, origato. Is that correct? What is it where you got to mean? Domor origato? Yeah, yeah, there you go. Domo origato?

I wish I could just really lean into that, but it's like... I mean, I... Domo origato. I may stay out there. Yeah. I don't know. I may stay out there. Do it good.

The comedy. It still sounds more township from the Japanese. Well, what's the difference? After the atom bomb, there was a lot of problems over there, you know? With all the radiation problems they're dealing with. No, you cannot dump them down. It's impossible. It's a catalyst.

When are you going to Japan? Yeah, it's a good culture. When do you go to Japan? Plano going like around the first time? Not yet. He's not going. You're not going. You don't think I'm going to fucking go?

I don't think you want to go? You guys want to bet? You guys, we want to go? Let's go to an audio file bar and be like, oh, that's good. Let's go. I'm going. I'm going solo, dole. We're going to China.

I'll go to China. I'll go to China. We're going to go, we're going to go working in a fentany all out. I'm not going to China. I'm not going to China unless it's to war. I'm going, I'm going to, I'm going to go into a camp of China. I'm going to tell him I'm a Uighur and I'm going to get there. What?

You could say that word. It's what it's called. It's just funny to be like, Hey, hey, I'm here. Lock me up. Lock me up.

Just do it. Dude, I think me and the Japanese are going to get along very well. I like the idea of somebody into BDIS. I'm just purposely getting one of those. Yeah,

fucking kick my head. We don't know what to do this guy. This guy's crazy. There's either one guy. Like a piece of gum on the street. Just wait to get the shit beat out of you. That's a lot of. like a whole category of porn.

They just sit on like the street corner just throwing trash. They're like, oh, daddy. There had to be one guy in Go on Tom a bench getting water poured. It's just rock hard. Just shoot loads in his pants. When they finally shut it down, he's like, no.

He's like, I'm a bad man. It's a necessary. I've raped 20 kids. I've never admitted it until now, I swear. It's a necessary evil. We need to find the bad guys. Finger my ass. Please. I want you to Lather me up like a cake

Fill me up with cream and butter I don't care Just something Don't close the prison Please We want to free you The human rights activists What if I named by dog Guantanamo

That's a fun name Would react to that And you start calling them Bay Well I don't think the Guantama Bay itself is the problem It's the Guantama Bay Prison There's other stuff going on there Yeah

It's all the prison rate Guantanamo Bay try to like revitalize their image. It's a resort. We're like, we're more than just. There's much more to Guantanamo Bay. Come to Guantanamo Bay, Cancun today. Yeah, dude. I feel like if there was like,

because like dude, if you go to like Rhode Island and like places that just get really bleak, like parts of Massachusetts, um, there's like signs, billboards for like Sarasota, Florida. And it's like $44. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you put like Guantanamo Bay on like a billboard, with like a palm tree and it was like $39 flight. Oh, they wouldn't even know. People that were just like driving around their hating their lives, like having, I don't want to shovel snow anymore

would buy that flight. It sounds fun. Yeah. Like if you take out the history, we're going to Guantama Bay, bitches. Going there for my honeymoon. I'm going here. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm taking GHB and G. Baby, you know what I'm saying? Spring break. We're having a good time. I always wanted to go. Have you ever, you guys went to Volcano Bay?

I wanted to go to that. No. I'm good on that. No, see, I don't know. There's, I don't really do drugs as much anymore, but I like the idea of doing... What? I walked in a year ago, dude, I've just been taking pills. I mean, I was a friday.

Yeah, because he was sad. Taking pills. I was roughly kidding. He's like, Xanax is the clean drunk. Not fully kidding, but slightly kidding. Yeah. It took Xanax like four nights ago. It's clean alcohol, I'm telling you.

I'm on them Zanik. Xanax is just calorie-free alcohol. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. It's keto alcohol. To be fair. Ketow. I felt like, I felt like, I'm telling you. but 5 a.m.

and the next night I had to job interviews so I was like, I gotta get some sleep. Yeah. Natural. Oh yeah. A little cute

little cuby sneak put you to bed. At this point, it's good that I'm not taking horse tranquilizers to go to sleep, living above key bar. But anyways,

I'm not gonna justify my drug use. But anyways. No, you careful now. Going to Guantan or going to Falkano Bay and taking some pills and just sitting in a lazy river for like 10 hours

sounds like the greatest day in the world. It sounds amazing. You just wake up and you're drowning. That was like there was one guy, one time somebody gave me like volume and I took it didn't end up working but I had a plan I was like I'm gonna take this and go to Volcano Bay Florida

and just just float down a lazy river for like 10 hours I'm like that sounds like a good time That's like that's where you take those drugs Yeah you go to a music festival with cocaine and Ketamine. Lazy River for the Zans and the Benzos Yeah yeah I'm not into opiates but if I was an opiate guy That would also be an option you know

What about Kratum Cratum seems to do similar to opiates. Yeah, apparently, dude. Have you done it? Yeah. What is it like? Well, because it's like, it's legal,

so you can get it anywhere. If you take, like, really, like, two grams of it in a shake, it's like you're like alert. It's like drinking coffee. So you're like, oh, this is good. But then you have, like, two or three more throughout the day.

And once you hit, like, six grams consumed, then it, like, plays on your opioid receptors. And all of a sudden, you're just like, it's like seven o'clock and you're nodding off on your couch. Damn. I've done comedy at some Kratom lounges before. Yeah, dude. But it's a lot of heroin people.

Yeah, there's one fucking Kava Sutcher, not far from here. They do comedy there? I don't know if they do comedy. Yeah. But, um... Hard audience, you. I went to one and, like, this one was like... Because they're all recovering addicts.

Yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, I don't... I've done a halfway house before. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was like a good time. I'm sure that brightens the mood of it. Yeah, but there's also people to do heroin and crate them.

They're like, well, it helps me get over the heroin. I'm like, well, you're still doing the heroines. It's not helpful. Your opioid receptors are just getting rapes at that point. Yeah, I don't know how opioid receptors even work. Oh, he's tired. Oh, are we boring you? Yeah.

Yeah. We'll go back to talk about Tom Cruise. Yeah, let's talk about Tom Cruise. Yeah, it's fucking our life. You're like, thank you. Finally something I could fucking help us. I still think he gets enough praise. I'm going to be honest.

Who do you think gets too much praise right now as an actor? Oh. Timothy Shalame. Yes. I hate him. Let's get a, let's get some pillowcases full of fucking soap bars. He's the TC we don't need. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. He's the antithesis of Tom Cruise. Dude, that's that type, if I ever heard. I fucking hate that guy. He's the fucking, he's overrated. He's, he sucks. I think he's a decent actor. He's like a good actor, but he's not a fucking genius.

He's annoying. He's annoying, dude. He's annoying, dude. He's everywhere. There aren't a lot. He's like fentanyl. Yeah. Dude, literally.

I had a bit. China, did China create him? Tom Shalame? Yes, yes. I said, I said, I said, fentanyl is the Timothy Shalameinamein of drugs. It's in everything. That's great.

Dude, that's so true. I threw it out. Now I might bring it back. That's good. I said it. I was on record saying. Dude, I swear to God, I'm not even getting... Yeah, no, no, no.

I heard that. Yeah, it's your bit. I can show you my help. I'll wait. I'll wait, uh, you know, for you to say something that I like it that I'll just... I swear to God. You didn't like the whole Uyghur thing about... Yeah, yeah, it may take a few podcast episodes.

You go on that racial site and it's Weiger beep. It's like, wait. I'm a house weager. Yeah, I'm not going to claim that one. But, uh, the fucking, uh... I swear to God, Dan, Dan, look at... The guy who came up with that is the one that's trying to tell me

that he had the Shalamey. Yeah. Look at my notebook right now, I swear to God, I have this joke. I don't want to look at your notebook. I have a joke. He doesn't know how to read. I have a joke about the Metaverse and your grandma being racist

and turning down the racism, I swear to God. We have similar brains. What the hell, man? You just get to go retroactively. Swear to God. Stuff you said about Tom Cruise, I think I had a bit about... All my bits. Yeah, man. It's good, man. Just let me know if you need anything else.

I'll generate more content for you, you piece of shit. He's a content house. Fucking fat. Fuck. That is my showbook, too. I have a guy. We're probably way the same. Dude, I love me not being fat because people forget it and say shit to me.

We're like, well, you're a, oh, shit, you're not fat anymore. It doesn't work. Again, shut the hell up. But you are wearing the same shirt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tokyo. I'll be there. That's where I'm going.

Yeah, yeah, 1990. That was a sick year. Shit. country behind. What were you going to say before that? World. Yeah. Yeah. Just do it.

With a samurai sword. God, no one's trying to stop me. That will bring much honor upon you in Japan, actually. Wait, what is that whole suicide thing? It's called Sappoko. Sapuco. Okay. I like that you're reading up on before.

It's that and there's another term for it, I forget. Oh, Hari Kari. It's, yeah, it's where you stab yourself with a sword and you go like, and then you kill your son. And then as an honorable death. As you fall to your knees, you're just to do it. it. So you do that

so the enemies don't take you or something? Yeah. That's kind of cool. It's an honorable death. Well, dude, that's why a kamikaze pilot who comes home is

totally dishonorable. Yeah. Oh yeah, because he didn't fully do the thing. Yeah, he didn't kamikaze. With his sushi chef. Wait, is sumo wrestling's in Japan, right?

You got to see that. Oh, dude. That's probably electric. I'll throw some fucking money on that. Yes. I may, I might fuck up the belly button. You got to chain smoke cigarettes.

Like, like I sue my wrestlers. belly button out there in Japan. You know? He's like, you gotta do it. I'd eat sushi out of those guys. Probably not.

Absolutely. A little tartar out of those cheeks. I do, I do want to like exclusively eat sushi off of like naked women. Yeah. You can do it out there. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do that for my birthday next year. I seriously, I mean, invite like your parents and stuff and everybody. Yeah, invite my parents to that. Maybe. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe the same weekend. Careful, careful now. I was staring at you in the eyes for no reason right now. I thought you guys were going to make love for us. Yeah, we're going to kiss. I was like, is Tom Cruise around? He's going to think about Tom the whole time. I legitimately may do that for my birthday.

I have sex to Tom Cruise. Yeah. Well, if I could do that, then I wouldn't. But I, yeah, eating sushi off of a naked. Is your birthday around that time? Yeah, that I'm going to go, yeah. Yeah. That's a good way to treat yourself, you know?

I don't know. How does it work, though? You actually take it off and then she's like, I mean, it's got to be kind of gross eating it off like a pussy, though. It doesn't have a good shower. They take a good shower. Or her tummy. I thought they get fully naked and they put it.

Yeah. It doesn't have to be their vagina. They can eat off the tit. You think you can arrange where you want the sushi put? Oh, they put it everywhere. I think that it's probably, yeah, pretty open. Yeah. Whatever deal that's been done.

Imagine they only have like a deal where it's like just like her knees down. They're like, oh, you got a pay. You gotta pay extra if you want something on the thigh. Yeah, for sure, yeah. You're just eating sushi off her toes and shins. You pay a flat rate. Do you think it's part of it where they have to like not blink at all? I think that could be.

Blinking? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not worried about blinking. I don't want it to be like a lifeless body. I want them to blink. I want the debris. Right, right, right, wait, wait, wait. I think my chick's dead.

I said just still. Yeah. She's breathing too obvious. Sushi at Bernies, dude. That's cute. You really wouldn't know. It's just real the dead person. I would prefer to be in a live human being.

Okay. We know it's... Otherwise, I could have done it off that fucking person who's laying on the couch in front of your apartment. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there's a lot to learn. We got an issue going on. There's a lot to learn from the Japanese as far as, like, forgiveness goes.

Because, like... They're forgiving? Hiroshima and Nagasaki was not even 100 years ago. That's true. But also, what they did to China was pretty bad, too. So it's like... Would they do the China? You know her the rape a Nanking?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they did it. Babies were on samurai swords. Yeah, there's pictures of babies on samurai swords. And you think Roe v. Wade's crazy, huh? Yeah, you should see this guy. Yeah, but they also did, they also gave us sushi, so it's like, there needs to, yeah, like, no, no, I'm not, you get overlooked. I'm just saying that, like, when you look, when you, like, put it in perspective.

They love their food raw. We literally drop, we drop the first ever nukes on two of their major cities. And, like, we're all good. Everything's cool. I'm not saying... That's pretty wide. I'm not at all. And they're still dealing

dealing with like... Oh, dude. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. I'm not at all saying that we were okay to drop nukes on... Oh, no. Me neither.

I think there was some number of like the... But I forgot him to work harder. You know, I've got to be the kick of the fans. Dude, have you listened to Citipop and their jazz? It's fantastic. What city pop? It's like their own type of pop, but it's like jazz infused. So there's like guitars and saxophones.

That sounds very good. Dude, it's fire. They had like a big music renaissance in like the 80s and 90s. Huh. Yeah. That sounds like I'll be interested in that. They also have the Kikomori. You, to be fair, I have no idea if you're just making up words.

No, that's like a reclusive people. They like, like, it's mostly men. It's like how like are like in cells, like Reddit in cells. Oh, but I heard it's like the next level. It's the next level. They lock themselves and like in their apartments of the rooms. There's like stories where like they'll leave their apartment to go get like Coca-Cola. like ramen, they'll come back

and they don't know how to get in their apartment because they've been in there for so long and like they disassociate they disassociate so hard that some of these people end up like killing people like on trains and shit

because they just want to see what it feels like. That's nuts. Yeah. Maybe we should just get them out for 10, 15 minutes. There's a great movie. It's called Peep Show.

It's like Peep TV show. And the further opening scene is like this dude he's watching 9-11 footage and jerking off and he smears his come on the, the lens of the camera.

Oh. Yes, dude. We watched that in college. Really? In a class I took, yeah. Well, I think, I remember Tarentino talking about it on like Joe Rogan podcast. Probably. I think that that, it was like a well-respected movie, but he gets a lot of, uh, a lot of, uh,

Tarentino's influences like from some Japanese filmmakers. Would you have sex with an octopus? Syrikyakia. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Would you have sex than octopus there? Yes.

Absolutely. Yeah. They're more intelligent than humans. Put them ten and goes on their head. That's a hilarious excuse for somebody fucking an octopus. They know what they're doing. It's not bestiality. You know?

Damn. This octopus tricked me into fucking... That octopus giving me brains. I know people that, like, refuse to eat octopus because of the intellect. Yeah, well, like, pigs are too, apparently. Yeah, well, fuck pigs. Fuck pigs. Fuck, yeah, I just fuck them.

Dude, if you taste it delicious and they're like, you know... Yeah, but Michaels are... They're... conscious, you know, they're smart. And I'm like, well, they're just, they're in everything. Yeah. So it's like, how are we going to take Michael's out? Yeah.

Yeah, there's no way to avoid it. No. I will pay more for bacon. Yeah. I'll continue to eat calamari. But then, but then. But then. But then.

But then. I'm serious about those, uh, I would either love to get some colomari today or or some shrimp tacos. I would do squid. Yeah. Colomari sounds like even like Hindus with cows. Like, they, they worship cows. Yeah, they don't eat them over there.

I remember one time when I was in college. They're like prize. I was in this business class, and we had, like, an assignment where we had to, it was a project where we had to, like, open up a business that exists, like, here, but, like, in another country. And we decided to do Wendy's, but in India. And I didn't even think about it until we were presenting in front of the class. And someone brought it up. It's about to be your turn, and you're like, oh, my God. Someone brought it up, but I was like, well, obviously, we would strike beef from the menu.

I completely forgot Like so your menu Your menu would shrink by 75% Yeah It's not even just Like they are They worship them No they worship

Yeah yeah No I know that More like humans They have cows on the farms And like they literally are like Demi gods The cows are so fucking stupid The cows are beautiful

You ever like Chilled with a cow before Yeah Yeah They're cool They're fucking majestic They're cool dude How do you know they're dumb

You're dumb I'm careful Yeah I have dumb I've been thinking About that house weager thing For like three hours

Yeah, you should probably throw that one away. That didn't really land, did it? You should throw that one away and bring back the Timothy Shown. No, I'm not cutting. I refuse to cut the podcast. Oh, no, no. Unless guess that. We don't cut nothing.

I request that you cut it. Careful. Be associated with your vile antics. Play on words. Yeah. It's word play. Let's see how those pit stains are doing on that shirt is pretty bad last time. My clothes?

Yeah, move your hand, I can't see. It's permanent. The shirt is permanent. black. It's a white shirt and my armpits are permanently black. Dude, painted black, rolling stones. Careful. I see my white face and I want to paint it.

Somebody's that I do have done that by now. The A and R man was like, ah, I think we'd change. I like it. I like the melody. Mick Jagger's like, I want to make a political statement, man.

He's like, yeah, that might not be the right one. To be fair, I bet you, when do you think, there had to be, I bet you, when paint and black came out, I bet you black face wasn't even frowned upon it. I bet you it was like probably 94. Well, that just shows how great the Rolling Stones are as they've been able to span that amount of time. They're very versatile.

Yeah, they were making music when it was okay to be openly racist. That's true. And they have made nothing good since then. Well, how is McJaggers still kicking it? I saw him like four years ago. They mean, the fact that Paul McCartney is like healthier than me. Yeah. It is ridiculous.

It is great. He's doing like a four-hour show. Dude, I wish I could have jeans like that. Dude, I went to see the red hot chili peppers a few years ago, and, like, Anthony Keatis just runs around stage, like a fucking nut job, and he was speedballing his whole life. It's like, how the fuck? Yeah, yeah, drugs are all the line.

Yeah, I agree. We got to do more drugs. If anything, yeah. If you play guitar, do heroin. Yeah, does make you better. Makes you better. I think, yeah, well, I don't know if it's pained people do heroin, and they also make music, but, like, I love, dude,

Bradley Noel's voice in Sublime's amazing. I'm like, you can hear the heroin in the voice. Yeah. that's like Eminem. It's like get him back on drugs and then he can drop an album. The fact that his last good project was relapse.

He legitimately has not been good, sober. No, it's horrible. Like, actually very bad. By the way, also, that's hard as a general. Look at Tom Cruise. Where? Right there. It's a bird.

Yeah, it's Tom Cruise. He heard us talking about him. Just ignore him. I'm just associating again. I'm sorry. Don't evolve. If you're a musician, this whole idea, they're like,

it's never good. Just stick the kind of shit you're making. Nobody's ever like, oh my God, they made the new music and it was beautiful. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Only a handful of, like, Machine guy yelling. He did well. Drake has been able to genre bend. Bob Dylan had like, he's, he's evolved throughout the years.

Yeah, Beatles did a good job, I think. He's killing it. I'm seeing him next week. Are you all it? Oh, dude. Yeah, who else?

The Beatles kind of. The Beatles big time. After they went to India, everything changed. I think it's like three. Yeah, no, not the greatest. The greats are able to evolve. The best is you ever listen to an artist, and you're like, oh, the whole album sounds like the one song out.

That's great. How much did he change? I think he's dipped into many different sounds genres. Well, what's, I think that's a little different because he, um, he started out very fluid, though. Like, Gold Digger sounded so different than stronger. You know what I mean?

And those are like around the same time. So I'm saying, like, It's not like he had, he didn't have one style. Okay, yeah, that's a good point. He was a good point. He's always, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a very excellent point. He was always, he always had fire samples. Yeah.

But he dipped into like some house, more house music and like, no. Electronics stuff, yeah. Kid Cuddy, I don't think besides. Lil Wayne did rebirth. Which one was that? I like that. I didn't hate that. Same with Cuddy with Wizard, but that flop.

Wizard was horrible. I'd be honest. Cuddy's, like. Like, his first, like, one or two albums were amazing. Great. Everything since then. His last album was good. I think a lot of Kit Cuddy, I realized, was his producers making good.

Doctor Genius. Yeah, yeah. And, like, I was like, oh, his collaboration with Kanye were great. Yeah. I was like, but that's mostly probably Kanye. I just hate this. Huh. Like all that.

Oh, the way he, it's just, huh. Just him moaning and like, like, on every fucking. I hear that I could skip. And then Timothy Shalmy. he's like slowly stroking him. He's like, Shalamey loves Kid Cuddy.

Dude, I was telling him this a few weeks ago when we're talking about this. I love Kiddy, but like for two albums, that's it. Like, I don't like,

I also, I like, I like, I like, dude, they have a documentary on him. There's a doc. I was telling him this like two weeks ago.

Machineo Cuddy is a dog, no, but dude, his documentary, you would think Kid Cuddy just died. Like, I was watching it. Everyone's talking about him,

like, as if he died this year. Yeah, Timothy Shazmay is like, He's literally saved my life. He made love to me. I wish he... Pete Davidson also said...

...opped to make a music. Pete Davidson also said Kanye... Or Kid Cuddy's music saved his life. Everyone says that. That's like a trope. Yeah, yeah. Kid Cuddy... She didn't save Timothy Chalamey's life.

Yeah. You know, that Willie Walker movie's gonna be fucking nuts. Oh, I forgot about that. He said, chalk. I'm curious about it. I'll see it. How about a giant... Dude, I hope they bring back Mike TV

and Augustus Glute. That's all I'm saying. Oh, yeah, they will. They better. How about Johnny Depp making a $300 million deal? In the new... Mike TV is black and loves Westerns. Yeah.

What you were saying Johnny Depp? Johnny Depp just got like a $300 million deal to reprise Captain Jack Sparrow. Did he accept it? Oh, really? I don't know if he accepted it yet. I thought he wasn't going to it. Are he going to?

I think that's what they offered him. It's on the table. That's so funny to be like, I'm so sorry. We thought you're a piece of shit, but now you're not. We'll pay you this much money. Honestly.

They're really... Disney's going with the flow. They're like, People like Johnny. They like him. He's hot. Yeah, yeah. He's hot.

Yeah, yeah. He's hot right now. Oh, he's hot right now. He would pay to see him in a movie. That's really what it is, because Mel Gibson's still in movies. Yeah. Yeah.

If Mel Gibson did, like, do some of the things. Oh, for sure. Didn't he still, like, hit her and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he still did. But they both did fucked up shit. No, for sure. Clint Eastwood.

He just performed better in court. He was racist. Well, yeah, I'm saying, but I'm saying, what if Mel Gibson, Clint Eastwood. Clint's just an old dust sack. Yeah. Did you watch the mule? Did you guys see the mule?

Worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I was just like, you know what? Just let him go. Yeah. You see a million-dollar baby? No, is it funny? It's a good movie. I know it's a drama, but it's funny.

No, it's the boxing movie. Yeah. It's about, it's about a stool. It's about abortion. Doesn't he break the woman breaks her neck on a stool? Because they made fun of it in scary movie before. Yeah, like she breaks your neck and shit. Which is from a stool that was like put in the thing.

yeah she like hits her head on a stool was that a true story that baby's gonna be worth a lot less now I don't know the baby broke it's not 10 dollar baby it's a boxer a female body no I know but was that based on a true story I think so yeah women doing sports shouldn't happen

there's a cautionary tale yeah see ladies still think the WMBA is cool she just breaks her and that's what the movie ends. And then it's like warning, the women in this movie

did not actually play sports because they actually would have died. Stay away. That is how it ended. I don't know. I never saw it. We're about to wrap up here. What do you guys want to promote?

I want to promote the first episode of the podcast that we had that was worse than this. This is a way better. I'm glad we did this. It's pretty good. Dude, the first, that 19 minutes and eight seconds of Tom Cruise, pretty electric.

Yeah. Just like Tom Cruise is... I might rub one out when I get home to. You should. Yeah. Go see Top Gun. It's in theaters. Pride months over. I'm not going to go see it. It's true. You're mine.

What does this episode come out? Wednesday. Hope everyone had a good 4th of July. If you celebrated, that means you're a capitalist pig. You're also in the alt, right? You can follow me at Dan Mancarnie on social media stuff. Yeah. Yeah, what Dan said, dude, eat some hot dogs this weekend on the 5th of July. Yeah. And you follow me at Joey Deef. And yeah, that's fun. Thanks for having us, Michael. Good. Thanks for coming.