Morning Good - Christian Podcast Pivot - Episode 270

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

Joe Gorman returns to the show for today's episode. He and Michael discuss Final Destination Bloodlines (2025), Graham Hancock, and most importantly Michael's 53-LB weight loss triumph solidifying his $600 victory. Thanks to Joe for coming back on the show. Check him out on previous episodes and follow him for even more. Joe is on Instagram @joewgorman and hosts the Super Selli Joe's podcast.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Hey, welcome to the air.

Thanks. Welcome to morning. Michael, this is your craziest idea. That's how we're starting. Is that how to sync the audio? That's how I stick the audio. I know you did a Raspberry to sync the audio, but I think you also. farted IRL and we're hoping to cover it up

with like a great guy. That is a genius idea. That's the move to make, dude. By the way, we're here with Joe Gorman, but dude, yeah, no, that's have you ever, I have a family member who it's so funny, I'll talk about like weirdly specific things, but then I'll try to keep other things vague, but I had a family member who did this thing where

we're all in the dining room and they were like, I'm going to go check on so and so and they walk in the next room and just fart so loud that everybody in the room could hear them. They took two steps and just like, and everybody's just dying laughing because they were like,

they're like, I'm gonna go chick and try to be discreet about this. I love ripping a silent but deadly and then like if you can keep a stone face, then you're good. Yeah, and then they'll let me,

I think it was that person that fucking farted, you know? Yeah, blame it on like a person like adjacent to them. Like if you have like a powerful enough silent but deadly, like they can't identify where it comes from.

Yeah. You know, if it's powerful enough. Yeah. If they're close enough to grounds there, it could be anyone. It could be anybody. Well,

Then you got to do the poker face. I'm like, oh, come on. Yeah. Or you got to do, my favorite is doing that thing being like, whenever I smell a fart, whether it was me or not, you got to do you smell that? Because I, I, you know, if I'm, if I'm acknowledging it. But that follows you, that, then you fall into the trap of whoever smelled it,

dealt it. Yeah, but I think that's, it's a weak argument. So you're, you're more of the whoever denied it supplied it. Oh, yeah. Whoever denied it. You ever do that? Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it.

it's the perfect rebuttal dude how come how come none of the great philosophers discuss that in ancient Greece you know yeah i don't know oh i wonder when farting became like uh since the dawn of man baby it's been as soon as as as soon as air was able to enter our lungs it could leave our assholes there was like an old playwright who had a fart fetish apparently who wouldn't dude yeah well i i have one. If anything, it's not a fetish. It's like, it's normalized and it's like weird if you're not into farts, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have ever just had, have ever, like, uh, been fucking a bitch? Ever been fucking a bitch? Every day in my motherfucking life, bro. And you, like, stick a finger in your asshole and you fuck her so deep that a fart, like, ripers out. You say your ass or? In her asshole. Okay.

And then you kind of, like, go in and out. So it actually makes, like, no, almost like a trumpet. You become a DJ at that way. Yeah, almost. You're playing her bottle. Like, yeah. I'm like Marty McFly in the 1950s. Chuck, it's your cousin Marvin.

This is that new sound you're looking for. Nice, man. Yeah, no, I, well, it's funny too because I just, so you know, you know, I did the weight loss thing. You did, did you make it? Okay. This is, this is morning good news. People have been waiting for weeks.

This is it, dude. This is what happened. I'm on my, like, third day, because no matter what, the bachelor party's next weekend, I was like, I got to start drinking the weekend before, because I'm not going into this. You can't, yeah. with zero alcohol tolerance.

Is this in any relation to the late night text you sent trying to coordinate this podcast? Not really. I was just like, I was just like, I wanted to do a podcast. I was like, oh, Joe's, I need to get an episode. I was like, Joe is always down. I'm always down. And also I knew I was going to be kind of hung over. And I was like, Joe can keep a show going.

No matter what I could be dead on the couch. The more retarded the co-host, the easier it is for me. Yeah. It's like when some when some fucking. homosexual is up here talking about Israel Palestine World Economics shit like that I'm like I don't know what they talk

about but us we're talking about banging chicks eating food shitting ourselves Chuck Barry Chuck Barry Who also Another fart fetish Yeah another part fetish

Yeah another part fetish Who doesn't like a nice little Like a nice You ever do that thing where like a beautiful woman comes over so you sabotage the bathroom So the toilet won't flush and then you hide a bunch of X-Lax and her deader.

If I had a nickel for every time I've done that, I would be a rich man. That'd be cool. That's like, that's a, yeah, that's a Michael Good original kind. I guess it's not an original good.

It's an oldest trick in the book. Yeah, we call that date soup. Right. You're making a little date soup in the bathroom for me. Oh, the toilet didn't flush. That's your,

that's your first thing. You just go there for 30 minutes and lock the door. Let me take a look, dude. Yeah. I fucking, yeah, it's like, do you have your tools.

I'm like, I sure do. it's like a spoon and a fucking bib. Your face just covered in shit. Yeah, we're good. We're good. Did you just see my shit out of the toilet? No.

Just got to excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, man. Just wiping shit off your lips. Excuse me. That's awesome, dude. I won't even acknowledge questions. I'm not going to dignify that with an answer.

Like, a colonel falls out of my mouth as I say that. I love people like that with questions where they're like, oh, I would not dignify that question. It's like, okay, well, you look really guilty now. Yeah, it's like you're pleading the fifth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? But yeah, so I'm on like the third, I have like three days left of this weight loss bet. I'm not going to make it.

You can, though. Anything's possible, Michael Good. Well, that's kind of what I thought a little bit. And I was like, all right, well, I'm about to start my third fast and do like, fucking hours and hours of Cardia. My buddy goes whose bachelor party it is. He goes, hey man, do you want to go see final destination? I go, no, because I'm trying to get a

six pack because of this bet we made that I don't have to pay for the Airbnb if you, if I get a six pack and he goes, dude, I'm paying you either way. You win. He's like, you lost so much weight. I'm so proud of you. And so I was like, are you sure? Like before like, and he goes, yeah, dude, I just got some fucking lamb override.

I didn't go that crazy at first. I got some lamb overrised. Well, you don't want to shock your body after. No, which even that did, bro. I had lamb overrise. The next thing you know, I'm just like shitting my... More like shit on porcelain. That's what you... Okay. When you're shit in the toilet, you're shitting in a porcelain bowl.

So let's have lamb over rice. You turn to shit in porcelain. Oh, because it converts. It's pretty powerful. I'm quite the poet laureate of the New York comedy scene. Well, what we have you on here for scientific purposes as well. Yeah. Yeah, it's like... You didn't learn a lesson. You didn't have to have the six pack. Yeah, I was like, if you're just nice guy, people treat you well.

Yeah. If you're just chill about everything, you try. You try. That's a very white child kind of thing. 100%. Where it's like, well, you tried. So we're going to give you the reward all the same. Whereas like a minority family planned on the child failing.

Right. And like, oh, well, you know, hey, that's life, man. Sometimes you know, you can't do it. But a white person, it's like the parents wanted to give it to you anyway. You tried so hard and that's such a good heart. That's why minorities are just fucking awful. Like, they grow, like, if I was a fucking minority and constantly, like, denied things, I'd be a fucking murderer rapist, you know? It's like, oh, I never had a little toy car because my parents didn't love me and have to buy me a toy car, you know, so I'm going to take a woman's innocence.

Whereas like a white man who has everything growing up, you know, I was like, I want to start a family to share this with like the next generation. That's why some people have families and some people murder. Well, this is why I have you on the podcast because you have these. I studied eugenics. Yeah. Phenology? Was it the size of the skull? Yeah, the size of the skull.

Like, I had, like, that old school measuring thing. I'm, like, I'm always, like, fast and I have, like, glasses on a little, uh, notepad. And I'm, like, fucking, like, taking all these, like, notes on the size of the head and shit. You have a bit of a scientist. Like, looking it from other sides and shit. Fascinating. Look, I've seen no holes in anything you've said yet.

Yeah. It don't make sense. It all makes sense. It all makes sense. I will say this. It is interesting when it's, like, uh, Asian cultures. and you're like, bro, you guys are intense on your kid. You're like, this seems like a tough, that seems like a tough life.

I don't know. Like I, but I guess there's probably an aspect of like, oh, we're going to prepare you for life because it's going to be tough. Yeah. I think a lot of that tiger parenting is also just like a form of like the white media giving this model minority take. Because I bet like a bunch of like, I bet like, yeah, while Asian families are like strict and like for not so much where they're like a tiger

mom where they're like 15 reps around the house. Like I don't think it was that type of shit. I think they were kind of like middle of the road. Why know some though they were like dude I knew this Asian guy and it was like the stories about his dad were like fucking intense dude. Really? Yeah, his dad grew up in like a hut in China and it was like

dude. I mean that's gross. The guy went to Yale. Yeah, it's gross. That's fucking vile. Can you imagine that some like little Asian in a fucking hut just eating rice? Sounds fucking gross. Like that's awful. Because like imagine your childhood.

You got like Nintendo's. You got like fucking TVs. You know, fruit roll-ups. What did he have? He had to kill a frog. Yeah. His one friend in the village to be like, oh, you kill frog. No, no, no attachment to animu.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, I don't know. It's got to be fucking tough. I don't know. It's gross, dude. But I wonder, I do you think, do you think China would be better if America took it over and maybe made it more?

more like America. Less like China and more like America. I like this place. It's fun. Yeah. Can you imagine if America was untouched by Americans? People would be in fucking TPs and shit, you know? Buffalo would be all over the place fucking trampling people.

Yeah. People on this, Buffalo would kill Native Americans for fun. Yeah, people wouldn't, people don't talk about that. But like before, uh, before white people came to America, Buffalo's almost wiped out the Native Americans. Well, and the Buffalo's also had slaves. Yeah, the Buffalo's had slaves. There was actually, you know, like,

They actually believe like there was a whole Buffalo society that was in America before white people came. Yeah. And it was like a cultural reset. And then the great driving trucks and stuff. The great Buffalo genocide. And then humans decided to destroy all Buffalo technology to less they rise up again. Yeah. Well, there's always like, there's always those ancient civilization theories with that Graham Hancock guy where he's just like.

Yeah, another fucking retard. It's like, no, dude, we're as smart as we've got, dude. there's no way we had a cultural there's there if if humans were capable of sharing internet pornography we'd never let that technology die yeah never let it fucking die dude

even if it meant like another human being had to get on a treadmill to power a fucking computer to look at internet porn we'd never give that up we would never give it we would and even if it was lost like we didn't sure it was passed down from generation to generation like don't forget there's fucking tittyes on the

interweb. You have to build a computer. Like, we would preserve that knowledge somehow. We would never let that go. We would never let it go. And that's why I don't believe any of these. Like, oh, there's actually, we had flying cars a thousand years ago. It's like, and what was it? Like they said, like, the

Israelites made it or something. Black Israelites. Spooky. Right? No thanks. Well, the, the, uh, where am I going? Sorry, I'm a little hungover. That's okay. You were partying.

I reintroduced alcohol into my, like... You're your slender little body. My slender, dude, it was so funny. The first night I had a couple drinks. And then the next night, my buddy was like, because the guy I made the bet with was like, we're seeing Final Destination, we're getting drunk. Yeah, yeah.

Awesome, dude. So much fun. The new one, that's the one where it's like the family, right? Yeah. It's just fun. Like, it felt like I was watching a 2000s horror movie. It was like, this is just a good time. It's just logs, smushing people's heads.

Right. It's like shit where it's, like you can't escape death. Yeah. How do you think you would die? I did one of those apps. They had an app that says how you're going to die. It was like heart disease.

Rape by a fucking trans prostitute. Yes. It said he fucking. You're like, you just got done fucking and you're like, yeah, the money's on the counter, sweetheart. Thanks a lot. And it's like, no problem, bud. And then she just slits your throat. And I'm like, that's your six feet under montage death.

Bob. Bob. It's so funny, too, you say, because I was like, porn is like something where like when I wasn't eating as much I was not hungry or I wasn't horny because your brains like get food right so my sex drive dropped which is so weird for me because I've been a little freaky boy you're a little horn boy all the time I would look at porn I'd be like this is awesome right who loves this it's funny like you never like got burnt out on it's like it's like it's like one of those things like you can't get burnt out on it no it's great same with like food isn't that odd like I've never been like I've never like eating like a ton of food I've never like eating like a ton of food and then been like, I'm never fucking doing it. I mean, I've said it, but like, I don't mean it. No, I'm going to do the same thing. Like, it's impossible, dude.

No one can, like, not eat food. No one can not fucking enjoy fucking porn and shit. Yeah. First video, though, is so like, first of up, I would just go on porn have during this whole weight loss thing and just go, ew. And I've never done that in my life. I was like, this too many holes. It's gross. And then I tried to go back into it recently with somebody.

The first video is a trans woman getting fucked in the ass with somebody's foot on her head. And I'm like, this was. You love it. it. Even me, I was like... The algorithm made up for lost time. It's like, we know you're super horny now, so you can only come to some fucking bizarre shit. Yeah, I did come back, though.

I am back to, like, my sex drive is back. You're horny again? I'm a horny boy. You're ready to nut? I got carbary. I'm like a human. I'm like, I feel like I'm like, I don't know, I'm happier. I'm, uh, yeah, this is, uh...

You look happy. Yeah. You look joyous. Yesterday was intense, though, because I had like a... Hard orgasm. Hard orgasm, dude. the rest of the day. I was just,

I was like, sorry, I jizzed really hard. Did you actually have like a horror, like once you like got the nutrients back in your body? Oh, was it like Popeye where like his forearms like bulged? Like as soon as you like ate like a little bit of fucking steak like your balls like fucking like puffed up like fucking pop eye after he's spinach.

Yeah. And I was like, Oh. Yeah. No, it was like, uh, yeah, I was like I watched board.

And it was, it's crazy because like, it did so much cardio. My health is like, my boners are the strongest they've ever been in my life. What'd you watch? What did I watch? I think it was,

was it cuck holding? I think it may have been cuck holding. I do. I enjoy it. Are you the bull or are you the cuck? I think I'm like, I'm the side observer. You're the cameraman?

I'm the cameraman. I just, there's something about watching a woman be really mean through her husband. It's very hot to be. Like, there's something about her just being like, I just don't even value all we've worked for.

I'm like, you don't even like, it's like beyond humiliation where like she's like fucking but like insulting him. It's like the next step where it's like I'm insulting you and then fucking somebody else. Yeah. Well, the funny is there was a weird period of time where femdom porn wasn't working for me

because my confidence was so high. I was like, I'm not a loser. I'm a great guy that people are lucky to be here. And I just like some delusional. I love that your confidence was too high for porn. Yeah. I was just like,

I was like, this doesn't make sense for me because, you know, sure I'm not a, you know, model, but I'm a nice guy. And I'm like, that you count for something.

Good personality will go far in the adult film industry. Yeah, who do you think he's got the best out of the dudes, out of the hunks? Of all the hunks? Who's the coolest? Who's the chillest? That's hard to tell, man. Hmm. Damn, I guess Johnny Sins.

Yeah, yeah. Nobody said a bad word about that guy. He just seems so chill. And, like, for someone guy that's like, he's, like, close to, like, pop culture because, like, all those, you know, memes come out where it's like, this guy's a doctor or a fucking astronaut, a fireman, a policeman. Send him some love. And, like, everyone, like, laughs and likes it. plus he has like those fitness videos on YouTube where he's like this is how I get my abs.

Oh really? Yeah, it's genetics by the way. You should have done that. I'm done. Well, it's so funny because I failed now that I'm just, now I'm just big it's all genetic just because it's like, I lost 53 pounds and still didn't have a six back in eight and a half week. That's crazy.

You lost 53 pounds. Yeah, it's insane. But I'm like, it's nuts. But it's interesting to go, okay, so now I will never have that. Because that's the hardest I, that's the most incentive I'll ever have.

I'm not going to be a fucking Marvel superhero. It's hard. To be a. Marvel Superhero. You also have to put on, like, muscle too. Yeah, we're not doing, we're not doing anybody. We're doing a nice in between that and where I was before where it's, I'll probably gain 15, 20 pounds.

You just want to have, like, you just want to age healthy. Like, that's the thing. Yeah. You want to, because like, how long are we on this earth for probably like 80 years? Yeah. Maybe with like some exercise and maintenance, you can extend it like 15. Yeah. And the last 15 would be fun.

I think the one thing I do want to do is, I want to have a conscious effort not to dye my hair. There's something about I really don't respect. men who dye their hair, unless you're an actor. I'm going to go gray naturally. Yeah, I'm like, just kind of let your body do what it's going to do. Yeah, it looks cool, man. It's weird.

Like, I knew this one guy who, like, was hanging out with us, and he was, like, 40, but I didn't, but he had, like, plastic surgery to, like, look like he was, like, 25. Was it me? You do, I mean, you do look young. I look, I look ambiguous. I look ambiguous. If I were to guess how old you were, I would say 30. nice I'll take that yeah

but this guy his face looks so young and I thought he had like neck problems and I realized it's just because he had plastic surgery on the face but not the neck and the neck is what ages a lot yeah and he was just

he got like the turkey neck type shit yeah and he was aging fast like I didn't realize it was like well it has to go somewhere yeah you you stretch this but then like the wrinkles just like move down

oh that's a good boy yeah it's almost like a fucking goger it's a portrait of Dorian gray it's like well we're in like a we're in a industry that values aesthetics, unfortunately. Yeah. And like, you can't just be like a little overweight.

You either have to be like hilariously like fat or like fit or like way skinny. That's a good point. I do get to the people that like, you know, people like me with like I'll call it a Babe Ruth like Cherubic build. Of course. It's not enough. You either have to be like a little sumo wrestler or a little fucking power lifter. and I'm just a guy that exists, you know.

That is a good point. I think, like, fashion, I got kind of a weird thing with that. When I see a fashionable comic, I'm like, what do you do? Yeah, like, what are you doing? Well, it used to, it used to be, like, comedians who were, like, outsiders and, like, critical of the mainstream. Right. And now comics are, like, the mainst. Now you got, like, fucking comics hanging out, like, the presidential inauguration.

That should never fucking happen. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's a weird boat because I'm like, it would be interesting to go. to that, but I was like, it's so cool not to go to things. It would be better to go there as like a journalist rather than like as the fucking invitee of the president.

Well, it's also so, it's so much cooler to be like, I got invited and didn't go because I thought it was gay. Like that's so cool. Like when fucking, I think, okay, there's But they think it's cool. Yeah, yeah, of course. Which is also gay. Exactly. Well, it's one of those things two were like, there was a year I remember Kanye won a Grammy

and Louis C.K. won a Grammy. And neither of them showed up. And like, that is so cool to win a Grammy. and not like you're like was that because louis ck was this after the allegations uh well he just didn't want to go it's like it was after the allegations but he was too too busy jerking off in front of the woman against her what if what if he was on his way like he was he got a hotel was planning on going but was just jerking off in his hotel room so he just yeah he has missed it he just missed it fucking he made he called his name and he's like come on he's like trying to like fucking crank it out early louis he said on behalf of louis cK like ah damn it fuck

Fuck, yeah. That is hilarious. You'd go if you want a Grammy. What's up? You'd go if you want a Grammy. Totally, but it's so cool to go and not. Why, I want to go. I want to be an Egot winner.

Yeah, but it's like, what's an EGOT? That's where you get an Emmy, an Oscar, a Grammy, and a Tony. That's a lot. Not for me, baby. Not for a natural star. Here I go. Positive attitude is everything. All you need to do is just get on Broadway, and then, like, if you get a Tony, if you're on Broadway,

Tony, an Emmy, you can win an Emmy. You can do like maybe four projects that really hit it. Like only a few people are Egot winners. Right, right. Yeah, I assume it's not like a common thing. No, it's hard. It's hard as hell. I think, I think, I think Eminem might even be an Egot winner.

He got a Tony? He got a Tony because they did like a Broadway production of 8 Mile. That is fucking hilarious. Are you serious? I think so. That is the funniest thing in the world. Yeah. that was just so not a Broadway thing.

I don't know. Something. I like that movie. There's a couple of like, Kim Basker. Yeah. Even when she's like a fucking pillhead mom, I'd fucking,

ooh. We were watching Batman 8, 1989 the other night. I don't know if I don't have my roommate actually liked it. You know when you're like really excited about something and you don't know if you were just forcing somebody to watch something. Yeah. You like,

I kind of felt that, but I was watching that movie. I'm like, dude, this is Ian Kirk. Jack Nicholson is so good. Oh, you ever danced with the devil and the pale moon light? What?

Just something I like to say to all my pray. And then he's like, you kill my parents. That's also just a great twist in Batman. I'm not like, I don't know, I think you are both superhero guys, but I'm kind of like not, the new Superman movie, I'm not like. You're not into it?

It could be fun. This is what I think, like, I think really, a lot of really good superhero movies have, I was just talking about how good Batman is and this is outside of that. But I think a lot of them have smaller plots. where like it's not like every movie now has to be people saving the world so dark night for example

small plots it's not about saving the city it's about like the relationships between these people it's about like uh is you know the joker's killing like one person yeah um it's not like this whole like oh there's a and then uh logan was really good because it was like okay i gotta get this little girl across the state lines we got these kids across here uh and you're like this is a smaller plot but then the superhero movies like the Marvel stuff they just keep being like we have to save the world the world the universe the multiverse right again it just gets bigger

and bigger and I'm like I feel like they should just do like a smaller plot one up someone was talking about they got a comic book I haven't read it but it's called something it's about one of a joker's henchman it's just like a day in life with like a Joker henchman I'm like oh that would be a good like something that would be more

interesting I will say this the thing I like about the new Superman trailer so far I like that he's fighting aliens and robots. I like that more. I'm done with the saving school buses. But those kids fucking die. They're going to be nobody. You're done with it. It's like, oh, he's going to save

people from a tornado. That's so stupid. I like that you're like, you need smaller stakes type shit, but then you're in the same breath. You're like, I like that Superman is like fighting aliens. Yeah. World threatening aliens and not doing something local, like saving a school bus. It is contradictory.

Yeah. So you want lower stakes with like top, like, fantasy. elements. I guess so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that's just what I liked about,

but I also think like Superman's, it's a hard character because he's not that good of a, he was the first one they made. So like, he's cool and looks cool and I like Superman, but like he was the first one they made

so he doesn't have a ton of depth to him compared to like it's hard to, yeah, it's hard to, it's like, like we're going to make Mickey Mouse fucking cool and it's like,

well, it's difficult because like they've moved beyond character and almost into like this icon status. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Because this is the first idea of the thing. So it's like, it got perfected in a bunch of other ways with like Batman

and even like Spider-Man. There's better stories. But I yeah, I don't know. It's one of those things too where I'm like, all right, this is something to look forward to maybe. Like crypto, his dog. That is fun. That looks fun. The dog's fun. Yeah, the dog looks like, it looks like it looks and acts

like how a dog would act, which is nice. Because like sometimes in like movies you see like the perfect dog. Because there was like a scene where he was trying to get crypto to take him home. And like crypto just kept wanting to play. Yeah, that's like a very dog. Yeah. And it's not like in a movie.

And like, you know, the typical like Disney movie they would have like, the dog would have made like a weird face and like instinctively like grabbed his cape and like taking him home. Yeah. And he was like no, fucking chill out. Stop. And it took him forever to get his attention.

And I like that a lot. Yeah. Maybe he'll get some dog pussy too. I hope so, dude. Yeah. These are all. I mean, James Gunn's kind of edgy guy. He is, dude.

I love those. tweets, dude. They were so endearing. What, he, dude, what were they? He was like, didn't he have always like, I want to fuck a little boy in the ass? Yeah, he's like, I want to rape a little boy and like, imagine the shock of like a boy when he's about to get raped by me and, you know, just shit like that. Like, talking about like fucking a corpse, shit like that. But it's also like the guy wrote for like trauma films and shit, you know?

Yeah, so he's, he's trying to be funny, but like, it, that stuff peaked in a time where like, you were definitely not supposed to say shit like that, even jokingly. so like I'm saying like he but it was also like in 08 oh 9 you know what I'm saying but people found it at a time period where like it was the reverse because now people wouldn't give a shit I mean Kanye is a Nazi like nobody cares about anything anymore so it's like I do think cancel culture's kind of done now oh fully where it's like yeah because like Kanye West is like you know basically saying like all guy saying shit like you'd hear on like the internet in like 2002 yeah yeah so heavily regulated you know and like now it's like well he's still

He's still making music that people are like listening to and playing. It's so good. It's so, it is very confusing though because you get a lot of like actually pro-Hitler people now. Yeah. And I don't, I'm doing shows I can't tell because he's bringing people together because of that. He's bringing everyone together.

He's unifying the country against the Jews. I mean, I think, I think the conflict in Israel, Palestine is doing that too. Well, the interesting thing is that he like, as he talks much about Israel,

he likes, he likes the right, he's doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Because he's like he's hating Jews, but he's not hating Jews from his heart. Exactly. So it's like, come on,

he's doing it for attention. You're just doing this for show. You're just doing this for profit. Like, where's the passion? Yeah. I do want to hear kind of like the, what's it called,

like, the clan Kanye perspective. Like, what are they thinking about them? Like, are they like, I hate that this guy is like, you know what I mean?

It's like a. Well, they're going to be like YouTube. You know, like there's always like YouTube cover of songs. Yeah. They're gonna put like a YouTube cover of like Hail Hitler, shit like that.

Oh, but they're sung by a white guy. Yeah, it's like a white guy doing it. Because those, to be fair, those guys probably do like some black people music. Yeah. Yeah. They like the, they love the message, hate the messenger.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a, you know, it's so interesting too because like, politics got so right and left. And now it's just like, we were kind of like, guys, enough tribalism. And now it's gotten to like,

so interesting where it's like, now you have like the black Nazi, you have like the liberal anti-Semite. You got like everything's going fucking so, because it's all over the place. It was so fragile. And then it just completely shattered. And you're like,

look, it's terrible that fucking Kanye is Nazi. I know I don't speak for you on this. Yeah, it's like, it's what I, it's expected, dude. Yeah.

I'll say that, can I tell you this? Here's what I think. You can tell me. Here's what I think, here's what I think the next big, grift in podcasting is going to be it's going to be like people are going to like

find Jesus. They're going to be they're really going to push like this like idea of like Russell branded that when he got caught raping. Yeah, when he raped people. I would I would believe like Joe Rogan is going to like go to like a mega church. I could kind of see him going dude. I can see him do it.

He's like, look man, I had a lot of questions. The answer is all those fucking questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I'm not saying. he's like he's gonna say the same shit that all new christian like look man no i don't think he's like a white guy with a beard on a throne up there man i think like that's symbolism but i think that symbolism represents something there because all these religions they have this idea of like a powerful entity so it's gotta there's got to be something there man and i think this is the closest thing to it

man this church it makes a lot of sense and like then you're gonna find out that rogan like has like some of the up and up but i think a lot of i think a lot of those podcasters especially like as they're shifting more towards like, oh, the right has more fun. It's all part of Project 2025. Or are they getting rid of pornography now? They're going to crack down on it and then they're going to say like religion's going to help them.

I do don't like that they're cracking down on porn because it's fetishizing something that shouldn't be fetishized. Porn? Yeah. I mean, it's all fetishes. No, it's not. What do you mean? What do you mean?

It's only a fetish if people are like, that's disgusting. But if we make porn mainstream, it's not fetishized. It's just a fact of life. That is true. Somebody had the funniest fucking tweet. It's something about like... It's like looking at somebody's ankle could be considered fetishized.

Right. You know, it's just that we're so accepting in the society of it. Yeah. Well, somebody had a great tweet. There's something like, somebody was like mad about like Bonnie Blue

or like Riley were going to be on a podcast. And somebody goes, people are acting like these women forced you to be addicted to pornography. It's like, make you a porn addict. I'm like, who cares of like their, like,

so like they can only do porn. They can't do porn. else they can't live? Yeah. Let them live, dude. And it's like you fucking, dude, it's like, it's the same with the Kanye shit where he's just like, yeah, my doctor got me hooked on nitrous. It's like, really the guy who made, his dentist.

It's like, the guy who made you a grill and was giving you whippets, you're like, are you sure this is a good idea? It's like, dude, what? It's like, yeah, this is drugs. And nobody has accountability, dude. No, nobody ever, like, look, you're talking to somebody who's on two controlled substances. I mean, I'm prescribed clean. weed and weed pussy and fucking

making money, dude. Yeah, I'm addicted to fucking the game, bro. You love the fucking scrella. I love this. What scrella? What's scrella? Oh, yeah. I'm gonna start using that.

I like that. Scrilla, you never mentioned scrella? Dude, I, I've been getting that scrella at the plasma clinic. I'm not donating plasma again. Oh, nice, dude. Now that you're getting like some fucking, now that you're able to eat food again,

you probably have like more iron in your blood. You can probably donate some more too. Yeah, well, it's one of those things too Where like they went in and like they're fucking retarded They're the first person's like Oh, you're losing too much weight You're not gonna be able to donate blood plasma here anymore Yeah

And then I called them a week ago and they're like No, you can donate we just take less plasma out of you And I was like oh even better So I'm there for less time And I got the same amount of money But the chairs are there's blood The last few times there's been blood on the chair That I'm sitting on

Nice hopefully that guy's not gay That would suck That would suck dude Honestly it would suck If that guy was gay Yeah Like you sat in a gay guy blood.

I mean, what is the... No, thank you. AIDS is 100%. Every gay guy has it. It is. I've heard if you have a gay thought you can get AIDS.

If you do... If you use a public restroom and you don't put one of those little paper seat covers on... Yeah, but anybody that uses that is gay. That's the gayest thing to do how they can fuck me out by man is to put paper on the seat

because you're scared of touching butts. Yeah, that is... I don't want AIDS, though. Yeah, I'd rather get AIDS than be... gay though. Yeah, that's true. But sometimes just go hand in hand. I think they go hand in hand, honestly. They go dick and ass. Yeah. Yeah. I think

like, yeah, it's like a 100% chance of AIDS if you have gay sex with a man. And it's only like a 4% chance of getting age if you share a needle. Yeah. So I like those odds. Those are great odds. It's funny because all the listeners are gay. Yeah, they're either

gay fucking needle sharers or fucking gay men fucking each other in the ass. Yeah. So 100% of your audience probably has AIDS. 100%. But we're just telling them stuff they already now. Yeah.

Yeah, it's stuff they already. You're preaching to the choir, bro. Yeah. I did get a hilarious Instagram. I got to Instagram. The guy goes, hey, man, you should post an Oli fans where you post that video

of you shooting a bottle rocket out of your ass, unblurred. Oh, you should. And I'm like, this is actually content that I don't, I would feel fun. Because like, this is comedic content. But like, you're, that video of you

uncensored, that got flagged. Oh, on. Oh, did it? When you uploaded it to Google. photos, it got flagged for child pornography. Because my, that's clearly like a, that's clearly a child's penis in this video. This is clearly a little boy firing a rocket out of his ass. I, uh, yeah.

No, I, I did gain a little bit of penis when I lost a little bit of stomach. Yeah. I mean, that's the rule. Like every 10 pounds, you gain like a centimeter or something. Because everybody, it's, it's like limitless. There's dick behind your dick. It's like, a lot of people say you only use. 10% of your day.

This pill allows you to use the whole thing. That was, dude, the last week of me doing this thing was so unhealthy. I would take Adderall and go to the gym. Oh, nice. Because I had no carbohydrates. Right. And it would, like, and it would, like, dude,

I would just be running on the treadmill full speed, watching a limit list like, I'm Bradley Cooper now. Like, fucking psychotic. Nice, dude. I'm so glad the shit's over. Now I can drink alcohol and eat garbage. Yeah, now you can, like, live, dude.

Yeah, yeah. I will say this fucking food tastes amazing now, bro. I bet. I probably like, yeah, you probably did like a little bit of a cleanse,

your whole system, you know? Yeah, dude, I had oatmeal with peanut other day, and it was like, and it literally was like the most delicious thing

I've had my whole life. I was like, this is incredible. Yeah, now like your, not like your palate is reset. Yeah, you know?

Yeah, it'll be, uh, I'm excited, dude. You're ready to live, dude. I haven't had pizza yet.

I'm excited for fucking pizza. Mama Mia, you haven't had pizza yet? No, this is the pizza city. This is Guido Capital of the world. Where are you going to go? So much like Lynn Street.

It's called like Lyndon Street or something like that? I love London Street. It's good. Oh, amazing. Are you just agreeing with everything I'm saying? Amazing slices. Tell them Joe sent you. Yeah.

Tell them Joe sent you. They got ice. Ask him for the Gorman. The Gorman. It's a good slice. Yeah. Yeah. They're like coming to the back room.

And then like you go in there, there's like a woman. blindfolded, bound and gagged. And you're like, what the hell is this? And you said you wanted the Gorman, right? They hand you a knife. Yeah. And they say, bon appetit. The door closes,

credits roll, executive producer, Dick Wolf. That would be like a fucking villain in one of those Law and Order shows. Yeah, it's always a fun thing where, like, it is funny. Okay, I'll say this, dude. I have friends with a lot of people who, like, do everything. extra work and stuff like that. But then they'll post about it. They're like, it was so cool to work on this.

Nobody else thinks it's cool. Nobody thinks it's like, it's a fun thing. Like, I would enjoy being on law and order. But like the people that are just like, yeah, I was actually in season two of the new. Right, right. I was like a doctor. He's like, okay. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. I really, anybody could do this. I don't care. I would do it. I'd be the one that tries like run away and they grab me, throw me against the fence, the chain link fence. Like, why'd you run?

And I'm like, oh, you can't touch me. and then they do that thing when they visit me in my cell. Yeah. You know? This is a very funny visual. Yeah, they're like,

we found the girl. And I'm like, oh, you found Sarah? But then where's Jamie? Yeah. And then like, they're fucking running down

the fucking prison trying to. We got him out another one. And the laughter. Like, they fucking like leave the fucking prison. All of a sudden there's like a callkin in the radio. It's like, there's been an explosion and 53rd.

in South Van Nass. And they're like, oh shit, we gotta go. There's a little Jessica. She fucking blew up, dude. They were too late. Mastermind Joe Gorman, dude.

Just like the dark night. Yeah, it's exactly like the dark night. Only way cooler. I'm basically like a really cooler version of Heath Ledger's joke. One baby is at a 435. One do three,

five. The other baby is at 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Yeah. No, it's the wrong baby. you switch them around shit fucking rolls dude it's so good what kind of person would you be on law and order

uh I would be the guy uh I don't think I'm as big of a hero as I thought I am was something I'll be the guy who like let something bad happen and I like am too coward to stand up you know what I was gonna say I was gonna say like you're like the cop that's initially helping out like one of the female detectives

but then it turns out like you were in on it you know like she's like an investigation, she figures something out. Like, wait a minute. These hair just match up. These hair, yeah, it doesn't match up. And then, like, you're like, I really wish you didn't see that. We didn't see that.

A crack commercial break. Yeah. She wakes up like, she wakes up like, oh. Oh, what? And, like, you're out of focus. There's that thing where, like, the eyes open. Yes. You're out of focus.

Like, you're hunched over something in there. Like, you turn around, like, your shirts off. And you got, like, a tattoo that shows, like, oh, your affiliation. to the guy she's been hunting. Yeah, the brotherhood, like brother shit. Yeah.

Oh, man. That's, you watch a lot, you kind of nailed both of those scenarios. Those are both. I am, I'm an officiant auto of tropes. I love,

I love a good, I love it when, uh, I love it when shows play into tropes. I think that's so fun, but then I also like it when they break the trope. Yeah, because they,

they get you locked into it where you're like, of course this is going to happen. And they're like, not every time. There's one time. Oh, you think because of A, you think A plus B,

we'll see, well, this is a rare case where if a gay guy doesn't have AIDS. Yeah, it's like he actually, it's like a rare case of where a gay guy doesn't have HIV and knowingly infects other people with it. A rare, you bet you didn't see this coming. It's like the one time. This is an alternate universe where if a gay guy had AIDS, he wanted immediately go about trying to infect every human being possible. What are the odds, right?

That's just not the world we live in. We gotta live with the world we live in. We live in a dark timeline, my friend. 100% of men have AIDS that are gay. 100% of gay men have AIDS. And they knowingly go around trying to affect as many others as possible. They want to, yeah, in any way possible, any way, shape, or form. They're going to give your kids candy with AIDS in it.

Halloween, never go to a gay guy's house. If you go to a glory hole, don't use it as probably a gay guy on the other end. Yeah. And then he's going to... You think you're sucking a trans woman's penis for your... actually stuck in the game. You know, you stick your dig in a glory hole. They might do the thing where they cut your dick with a razor blade.

And then they cut the inside of their mouth with the razor blade. So then they suck your cock. But because... I for this is really popular. Yeah, because there's open wounds on both of those. Like, that's how, like, the blood gets in. Yeah. And that's how they get you.

Yeah. This might be a tough listen. Why? We're eating shit. We're giving people, like, facts that they can use with them. And hopefully maybe even talk about discuss at the water cooler at work the next day. Yeah, so Barry, I noticed you're gay. So what's it like?

Have you. Please stay away. Don't knowingly infect me with AIDS, please. Poor favor. Please, that'd be great. I'm not trying to, you know. Please and thank you, no AIDS. That should have been like the movement in the 80s.

Please thank you, no AIDS. That would have worked rather than just say no. Yeah, I don't know. You can't just say no to gay sex. The idea of gay sex is too enticing. What's your favorite aspect of gay sex? I guess the poop. Yeah?

Yeah. It is fun. I was mathematically breaking this down and why homosexuality is so funny to my... Once again, going to leave out the family member's name, but... Your brother.

You're talking to your brother. Yes. He's a gay guy. He's not a gay guy, but... Michael, as a gay man, let me tell you, the craziest thing about being gay is all the poop.

Is all the poop in the AIDS. because it's like this is why I think it's hilarious. Sex is always funny. Yeah. Buts are funny. Oh, yeah. But sex is hilarious. Oh, yeah.

Farts are funny. Gay sex has farts in it. Poop is fun. It's like everything that's funny is dudes are funny. You've combined everything. It all lines up. It all lines up. It's a neapolitan.

What's the ice cream with all the stuff in it? Yeah, Neapolitan. That's the best one with the strawberry, the vanilla, the chocolate. Yep. that's what gay sex is for comedy. It's just every aspect of everything. I want ice cream. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, I like wearing bathing suits. It makes me feel like I'm at the beach when I'm not. You kind of are. What is the Corona's thing? Find your beach. Yeah, life's a beach. Life's a beach and then you die.

Evades because you're gay. Hey, beach. Have a beer. Yeah. Beach. What's that from where somebody kiss is a bitch like that? Beach. Beach.

It's like an Arnold Schwarz. Shut up, Beach. I, I short his name right there. Arnold Schwartz and nigger. You lunatic. What, that's his name?

That's not his name. Arnold Schroits a nigger? I'll be back. That's him. That's not doing it. Or you can do this. I'll be back. I'll be back,

you drive turkey. You had very, I'll be back. Can I borrow? Can I borrow a dollar? Very, very, very. interesting pronunciation of his name. I think that's how it is.

Is this San Francisco accent? Yes. That's where you grew up. Yeah, from San Francisco. He was actually our governor. Dude, that's crazy. Yeah. Dude, that's so fucking insane.

I have his, I have his signature on my college diploma because he was the governor. Do you actually? Yeah. That's so fucking sick. Yeah. Dude, I like him a lot.

He's chill. He was a chill Republican. He was like the last chill Republican because he was like a Republican that was like a little more liberal in the stance. He's the reason we had legal marijuana. Yeah, it's fucking insane. He almost like, he at those

great visit California commercials that I was like, dude, I want to go just because the way, and end with him on like a beach, he's like, you'll go into love at the air. You'll go to love it to you. And you pull back, it's like Maria Shriver's next to him and shit. Yeah, back when he was still married to that, that goof. He should have never, she should have never left him.

He didn't he fuck some... He fucked the housemaid and they had a baby. and that baby is now the star of White Lotus Dude they're going to have them play Cyclops also Yeah Yeah that's crazy dude I don't know if it's the same one That would be funny

If what If Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is The same one Okay I love you so much It's you're so good at Making me uncomfortable this podcast It's incredible

It's so good because I pride myself on like, oh, I can hang it. I'm like, you, you don't change the thing about yourself.

We'll get it in post. Yeah. Do you want me to take it out? No, no, I really didn't in there, dude. The kid stays in the picture. But he had two kids.

Oh, just stopped there. It was just stopped there. That was so funny. Yeah. Yeah, he had two kids. One was, like, raised by him. The other way is my Maria.

Okay. His kid was, like, jacked. And the other one was, like, fat. That's so funny to be. I wonder if he's one of those kids who, like, guys. You know, sometimes you get those jacked dads and just have the fat gay sons. Right. We had a football coach.

It's rebellion. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, he was like a total fucking hard ass. He fucked a bunch of people's moms. Yeah, you've mentioned him before in the pod. Yes, Coach Wolf. I'm glad you, you take notes. It all takes place in the morning good verse.

Yes, where every gay guy has AIDS In a world where every gay guy has AIDS In a world Yeah In a world where every gay guy has AIDS And Coach Wolf banged everybody's mom Yeah, no But his son was just this kind of like fat gay guy

I was just like, I don't want to have sex Of people's moms, daddy And he's like, no, we're gonna fuck moms No, no son of mine ain't gonna fuck a mom Yeah Now you get in here and you you take down Mrs. Padgett's Britches here. That was a law and order I watched.

It was like a gay guy fucking his girlfriend. And then his dad would come in and be like, you're doing it all wrong. And he'd come in and like, fuck the girlfriend. Nice, dude. That's just a good dad, dude. I don't see what the problem.

I bet the girlfriend wasn't complaining. She's like, this is real man. She fucking loves it, dude, fucking slut. Officer, arrest that chick for being a slut, right? Trying to tear this family apart with her fucking tattletail, dude.

You're going away a long time, sweetheart. Plenty of time to think about what you did. That might be the best sentence. Officer arrest that woman for being a slut. Nice, dude. I'm performing a citizen's arrest right now, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

What happened to the dad? Did he get in trouble for fucking the girl? I never watched that show. You just put me in a negative headspace. Yeah, because it's like, damn, all these, like, that's why New York's not cool anymore because all the cool guys are getting fucking locked up by these fucking overzealous cops. That's what it was.

I was like boys can't have fun anymore. Yeah, it's like, damn, dude, this is, we're New York, baby? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're New York strong. Let us do our thing. Yeah, I agree. I mean, it's one of those things where you go. This isn't the city used to be.

Yeah, I mean, like, we got a, we got a, there used to be a sexual assault on every corner. We got it, we got to, now it's a, now it's a smoke shop. Right. Now it's just a, now you want to buy some shitty fucking weed. The kids are vaping. They're rapist, not raping. They're vapists, not raping. not rapist.

Yeah. Real issue. It's bad for your lungs. Yeah, that is weird. People are saying kids aren't having sex nowadays and you're like, they're burnt out. It's too much porn.

Yeah. I guess it's. Porn is too available. It's like, do you want to like, do you want to just like fucking like beat your meat to like this like fucking a lot here by the way? A little bit,

but that's, I think, well, you're also, you also have like the lights on and everything too. Yeah, you're also ripping the end bombs and then I got on comfortable. What?

Oh, is it hot here? I'm sweating like a, like a blet on. black guy in fucking rape court. You're a master. We're just goofing, dude. It's just, are you sponsored yet?

No. I think this will be the episode that gets to them. This is the episode that gets the sponsorship, dude. Yeah, they're gonna be like, you guys went for it on that one. Yeah, it's like, you really spoke from the heart. Yeah. We're just goofing, dude. The, um, who's there's not one to say?

Oh, yeah, but like the, uh, law and order would put me in like a negative headspace. But it's not like it's not like like violence and bad shit always like it's like final this nation is people getting killed. But I love. I'm like it's just like it. It's like camp. Yes. Yeah.

The expectation is that they're going to die. Yes. And it's fun. It's like, dude, one of the one of my favorite. Law and order is that the expectation of that law and order will be upheld and what happens. But within the first five minutes of the very show, law and order, there's an absence of law. Right. And an absence of order.

Right. Is it the one that iced tea is on or is he on? a different one. Well, they're all different. There's Law and Order Special Victims Unit Unit is the one ICT is on. Then there's like regular Law and Order. Law and Order criminal intent where it's like they go to court. And now there's

like a new one, Law & Order, Organized Crime. You'd hate it. You'd hate it. No, I was doing the... Yeah, say, yeah, yeah, say? Organized crime, say? Yeah. Hey there, now, we're on Manhattan, she? Yeah.

We got to bring back that type of gangster. What happened to that type of gangster? I thought I was going to see Tommy Guns. I didn't know that Tommy Guns were, like, out of commission when I was a kid, because I'd always see him in Batman the animated series. Yeah, yeah. So I thought bad guys. What would it have be cool to see, like, those officers at Penn Station instead of, like,

ARs, they have Tommy Guns? Yeah, dude, I thought that's how he knew somebody was, like, a bad guy if he had, like, a Tommy Guns. It is very funny how, like, uh, like, You talk about like representation of like criminals and TV shows and racism. It's like after when I was a kid, I thought every criminal criminal criminal, criminal. Every criminal. Criminer. Criminal.

Yeah. Criminal. I thought every criminal was like a white guy with a Tommy gun and a pinstried suit. Like I thought every, I thought every guy talk like this sweet odd. So it is interesting. And then and then they all have like a toothpick in their mouth. Yeah. I thought that's it every bad guy had like.

like a striped, like the striped. I always thought like violin cases and guitar cases just held guns. Yeah. Dude, as I thought when I went to go see the Joker when that came out, there was a guy in front of me with a guitar case on his back who just walked in the movie theater that I'm checking. And I'm like,

this is insane. You guys should definitely check that for a gun. Yeah. I don't know just being a guitarist, but where to just- Christ. Why'd you freak everybody out, dude? Would you have saved him? No.

Wasn't there? Like, I think like everyone thought there was going to be a shooting at the Joker film, but that turned it to be a shooting at like the Frozen 2 movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's tight, dude. Nice try, bitch. Yeah, nice fucking try.

You think there wasn't going to be a shooting? We're going to subvert your expectations. Oh, I thought there was definitely going to be. There was a cop in the theater because of, New York City made an announcement. They're like, there will be undercover cops in every showing of the Joker tonight. And there was just a guy just like in a suit standing in the back of the room. And I was like, all right, that's obviously the fuck. Those are just guys that wanted to see the movie.

Yeah, they just wanted to stand. Like, yeah. Oh, I want to talk about this, dude. So I had a fucking hilarious dream recently. So my, you know, X got a new boyfriend, haven't met the guy or anything like that. You hate him, though. Hate him.

He's the enemy of the show. I would honestly fuck him up. Yeah. If it means that much to you, yes. You're very sweet guy. I don't like the fact that she would, after making a promise to love Michael good forever. This is true.

And even if that promise happened in the dream I had, It's still valid. So I have like no negative feelings. Like I'm pretty adjusted as an adult. Yeah. I thought. And then it's hard, dude. It is.

It's really hard. And then I had a dream. Apparently he's like a big guy. Black? I don't think so. Thank Christ. That would have been a deal breaker. Could you imagine that?

The deal is already broken. We're already not dating. But like, but like, you know, the expectation of like, you move on. you're going to start dating, you don't date certain races. It's always agreed upon every breakup. It's like, okay,

so here are the races you can date, here are the races you got to stay away from. That'd be very funny. I thought this was an unwritten rule. Yeah, you're not allowed to date a black guy after me. What are you doing? Yeah,

we agreed to this. This makes me look bad in retrospect. But I had a dream, the guys apparently had you speak, dude. I had a dream, I was this wedding we both have to go to, and the guy put me in one of those arm bars

where you like wrap your legs around. Oh no, dude. And he made me tap and was talking about how I suck at wrestling. And everybody at the wedding instead of thinking he's an asshole, which is very disappointed to me. And they were like, dude, you got to know how to get out of an arm bar. Like, what do you do it? And everybody, like, my family was disappointed in me.

Everybody's like, you're kind of a loser man. Damn. This guy's mean. He just wrestled me at the wedding. And they're like, yeah. I mean, you should know. You should bring a gun to the wedding. Great idea.

Good idea. I now pronounce you husband and husband. why have you fucking bang bang bang bang bang and then one for him bang and he went oh my god the bullet must have come back down it must have arched yeah that'd be cool right to to murder your ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend uh you would love to do that your friend's wedding well that's the beginning of i started watching what's that tom cruise movie um top gun no the one the time traveling one. Live, die, repeat.

No. Edge of tomorrow. He's not a lot of these. Minority report. Oh my God. That's the first one is like the guy who catches his wife cheating and then he killed her. So Tom Cruise, I think, would come back and stop me from doing that.

Yeah, if you're actually going to kill him. But that was because he was going to kill his wife too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's okay. I think it's okay to kill like a guy that's like cuck holding you. Yeah. It's the only way to not be a cuck. is to kill the guy.

That's my favorite porn. Like you like cuckold porn. I like self-validation where like the guy's like, I can't take it anymore. Yeah, yeah. Kills the fucking bull. Yeah, yeah. That'd be tight, right?

And the guy, the director's like, cut, cut, cut, cut. I did see one where it was so many of the guys snapped. So the guy's like, the guy's like banging his girlfriend with his like big black dude. Oh, nice. And then he can't get hard and he gets like, oh. And like walks. It looks amateur. So it looks like he's actually getting angry and like leave him.

the room. And then she's just like, oh, sorry about that. And then starts sucking his dick. But this is, I hope this is real. I hope the guy randomly. They might have. I mean, sometimes they just let it roll. Yeah. You know, sometimes they... It wasn't like, well done. It was like amateur. Yeah. Sometimes there's not like even like a, uh, they just set it up on a tripod,

go to town. Yeah. Well, maybe we should start making our own porn, dude? Can make a lot of money. Should we do it? Should we break into it? Should we like start doing like an amateur version of plug talk where it's like, all right, but because we have intimacy issues, you have to have sex with both of us separately.

And then we're just going to edit it together to make it like side by side so it looks like we're having sex in the same room. So I'm just going to have sex on this side of the couch and you have sex on that side. And then you just mirror the video. It looks like she's getting doubled him. Dude, the idea.

I'm too scared. There's like a clear cut. So like her body isn't like perfectly lined up. Yeah. So there's like a little bit of like overlap. That is a very funny idea. That's a beautiful visual. I like that idea,

which is really awkward plug talk where they're not, uh, suave with. Yeah. It's like, I'm, I'm leaving my shirt on,

by the way. Just winnie poop. He's like, and he's like, like, like burping a little bit. Like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's how fuck, I feel. Oh, fuck,

getting like, fucking getting winded and shit. You know? Oh, my God. Yeah, that is a very funny idea. I like that. Also, like, the idea of, like,

plug talk just being, like, two regular guys is, like, also funny. What do you mean? Just, like, because, like, normally it's, like, I think, like, a majority of plug talk is also the appeal of Lana the plug. Right. You know, because, like, it's like, oh, there's, like, this, here's, like, this chick that's done up to really just, like, look like she's built to fucking pleasure men.

Yeah. She's, like, a sex slave in a way. She is so hot. Would you, would you kiss her? I would kiss her after. Show me how you kiss her. Show the audience. Look at the camera.

Show the camera how you kissed her. High long to the plug. I'd like to kiss you now. I'd do it after she sucked. Jason loves big black penis. Nice, dude. I would say. That guy's had quite a little fucking, like,

a shooting star of fame. Yeah. Yeah. I would do it just to prove him not racist. That's pretty cool. Have you ever looked at black man's penis? Never. And I never will.

I think that's bestiality and it's not right. You really taking one angle on this. pit. Joe's racist angle. That's the only angle you've taken this. Look, man, I studied eugenics. I can't turn my back on science, dude. Weird science.

That was the original. What university did you study eugenics at? Oh, NYU. Yeah, I went to NYU. Nice. NYU need to get out of here, black guys. That's what I called it. That was...

We're tapping it up, man. That was one of my favorite jokes you remember. Dude, I do feel bad because we started a little later than I do gotta kind of wrap things. Yeah, no worries, dude. I think we're, I think we went over an hour anyway. Yeah, we're at 57, but...

Close enough, dude. It felt like an hour. Look how much smaller my bathing suit is here. I know. It's so funny. You're gonna end it with this. You gotta fucking white your little legs are, too. Look those white thought.

Damn, if they loved your little fucking tutsies, they're gonna love your little fucking thawesies. and the beginning of pubic hair. Bursting. Well, this is my gift to them because they all have AIDS. Nice, dude. Have you ever shown Wang on the fucking Patreon? No, but I should.

You should just be like, hey, here's a fucking Instagram post. Or here's a, here's a Patreon post just for my gay fans and women. And have it like click here NSFW. And it's just you getting fucking dome from a trans woman. And it's me filming the whole thing. So it's like, you also hear my commentary. like the whole time where I'm like, look at this fucking faggot here. Look at this fucking gaywad, dude.

He doesn't even care that the woman has an equally large fucking boner, dude. And I'm just like, hold the camera and you're like, please, you're, I'm trying to concentrate. I'm trying to come for my fans. And I'm like, it's like, well, you got a lot of work to do, right? Let me try to zoom in here to get a good angle. It would be really funny because, like, it would be funny if we did that and but didn't tell people what they were going to see. They just thought it was going to be a morning good Patreon.

it's a trans woman sucking my dick while you're calling me gay in filming. You'd love it, dude. The fans would love it. They would love it, dude. I think anybody seeing that without knowing would be like, this is incredible. This fucking rules. I cannot believe this is what I clicked on. Did they go there?

Yeah, they went there. I mean, we're the edgiest podcasters in the world. Thank you, Joe. Where can they find you? You can find me online at Joe W. Gorman. That's my tag on all social media. Be my friend.

Thank you. Thank you.