Morning Good - DC: Dootie City - Episode 167

Episode Date: April 30, 2023

Levi White and Jess Levin return to the show for today's episode. They talk about Michael's trip to our nation's capitol, the porno Jackie Chan starred in, and the AI time machine gray alien simulation theory.Thanks to Jess and Levi for coming back on the show. Make sure to check them out on previous episodes of the show and click their links below for more.Jess is on Instagram @jlevcomedy and you can find her in New York at  @fowlmouthcomedybk and @toughlovecomedy. Levi is on Instagram as well @levithewhite and co-produces both @toughlovecomedy and @undertheradarcomedy featuring some of your favorite NYC comics.

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Do a podcast. That's really how we're starting. 20 hours later, we're doing it. I refuse to find another topic on this podcast besides doing voices like damn. I think I sent you the...

We'll all you. Fuck it. I don't care. I'm going to talk about what I want to talk about. I sent you the article about the Down syndrome gang member. Yeah. It doesn't look like he has Down syndrome. Right? I don't know. It looks like he was just shot in the head. That's just how they diagnose that now if you're in the rough name. I don't know. Can we get the syndrome?

I don't know what you're talking about. There was this Down syndrome gang member who killed two guys. Do we know that this is a factual thing? We killed DMX? I got it on Hood News. Wait a minute. Kill DMX? No, no, no,

killed two gang members. Oh, okay. Yeah, that would be crazy. That's how DMX went out. Damn, dude. Yeah, his name was Smush. Yeah, was his gang name. Was it really?

Yeah, yeah. It's because you'd hug people very hard. Then he'd feed the rabbits. Yeah, yeah. But, so wait, how do you know, though, for a fact, the doubt. I don't know. I get those articles.

It's like hood news. To be fair, I get real news from there. Like a lot of times it is... You get real news from there? Yeah. It's real. It's motherfucking real news. That's what's up.

Real, real, sure. Is that real news? None of that fake... For real news. For real news. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Where do you get your news from?

How do you log in and get it? You don't want to know. New York Times. What is it going to be? I don't read it. No, I listen to NPR in the morning and the BBC. Yeah. I think I heard somebody who's mad at you for that recently.

It was like NPR sucks, but... Who said that? I don't remember. I feel like it may have been Levi, I don't know. It's trying to start shit right now? Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, exactly. It was not Levi. Is it still that calming voice where it's like, in Uganda, there was 33 people murdered with

machetes? And they just tell me, I usually don't do, I don't listen to any editorial, just give me information. I listen to that or the economist. I don't want to hear anyone's, I don't care. You're all stupid. I don't want to hear your take. I'm kind of the opposite now. Can you plug this real quick?

All right. I'm the, can you do that real quick? I'm the opposite. I actually, I know. like the... Because you're a schmuck. Yeah, I love the opinionated stuff. It's very exciting to hear people just give, like, strong.

I don't know how you exist. Are you upset about Tucker? Yeah. Dude, heartbroken. Are you? No, he's going to do his own platform. It's could be off the rails. Yeah, it's going to be crazy.

It's going to be even nuttier now. Yeah, for sure. It was funny that he got fired the same day as Don Lemon. Yeah. Feels a little... Wait, Don't know. Wait, why did Don't let me get fired? You take one?

We take one. I mean, he sucked anyway, but why did Don't mean, his me too, was kind of funny. You got me too? Yeah, the story was he took some of his nuts sweat and put it under a guy's nose and was like, how do you like that? Really? Yeah, so like bars. That's not really even gay. No, but it is funny because the guy obviously.

It's a bull. That's exactly, dude. They had the guy on Fox like interviewing and he's just like, I was so disgusted by the baby. It's like you're, come on. It's a little nuts sweat under your nose. What did the Don Lemon go down? There's like years ago. And then now we just got it?

I have no idea if those two are related. Those are just fun facts. Dude, NBC too had some things. The head of NBC got booted, stepped down, fired, whatever the fuck, because he was sleeping with a CNBC anger. Maybe one person just dropped all this. One guy had blackmail on all of them. And it was like, I'll drop it.

And then they're like, you won't pussy. And then he dropped. But it's crazy. And one day, all fail swoop. It's like, whatever. And you know what? It's like almost even better because it's like, all right. Because who's the less?

CNBC, I guess, with the guy that fucked the CNBC reporter, right? Yeah. And then you'd go, Don Lemon, who's a tool. And then you do Tucker. Would that be the order of, like, you think of people, like, being interested? I don't know. Well, viewership Tucker's at the top. Apparently, he's like, he's like a god, right?

He's crushed it. Well, what about that other Fox, dude, that all the comics write for? What the fuck? Gutfeld? Gutfeld. That's like if, like, fucking, what's his famous? He's even cornyer than fucking Tucker. That's like if, like, Krusty the Clown got a show.

Yeah, I like his face, though. I wish Krusty the Clown gave news. They did I want to get news I want to get my news from this this black guy I met on the bus So I went to D.C. Right?

Yeah. And this guy was the coolest guy So first off shades In front of him is a guy from Africa And so this guy's given a full tour of D.C. And just his opinion. He's like D.C. Should call it motherfucking duty city

Because there's so much dog shit on the motherfucking ground. He goes, He goes, tell you what they're going to fucking do. They're going to do. They're going to take, you know, when you go, go take your dog the vet, they're going to sample that shit,

then they're going to cross-reference it with the shit on the ground, and they're going to lock your ass up if you let your dog shit on the ground. And I was like, that's crazy. And then yesterday I was talking to Graham Cooper about it. He's like, that's like a legitimate thing in Spain. What, they... Yeah, they cross-reference your dog's dog shit. That's fantastic.

By the way, I practiced the black voice before you guys get in here. Because I knew I was going to have to do it. And I'm still not proud of how I did it. You got to go deeper. It sounds less offensive if it goes deeper, I think. That's true. Sure. I just you want to be black. Of course I do.

Who doesn't? Yeah. I'm good. I'm fine being white. Racist. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

I enjoy. You're proud? Would you see you're proud of it? I'm not proud. I'm enjoying. Don't fucking. Don't even good. You know what?

I really, you might get punched in the face, like right on camera. That'll be a good little. That'll be a good clip. Yeah. Don't even care. I'm like,

you'd be a glibble moment. Yeah. Such a fucking. Yeah. Yeah, I don't care. But it's interesting. He's saying all kinds of shit. he's like the city's made out of marble, all these, these facts that were...

This was a guy that was giving you a tour on the bus. No, no, no, no. I'm just on... I'm just on a Flix bus, and this guy's just going off. Yes, and he's giving the guy from Africa a tour of D.C. He's explaining to it. So you're overhearing this. He's not actually having you in the conversation. My phone was at like 3%.

And he's two seats behind me. So I'm listening into all of this. Yeah. And where was the guy from Africa? Do you know? Was this guy even wanting to listen to this? Or is he just being nice and listening? Maybe he was just listening.

I would, this would drive me far. I almost hopped in. It was so annoying. You know when people were like, he's like, what's the word? It's a Spanish conqueror. And of course, it's conquisador. But I was like, nah, I can't just jump in this conversation. And I was like, I want to hop in this because it's exciting. So you took a bus. Why did you take a bus?

Because I was going to D.C. to do a show. Why did you take a train? Because I didn't want to pay as much for a train. You can get trains pretty cheap. I didn't get the full tour. How much was the bus? I didn't hear it. It's motherfucking duty city. I don't know. This is not, no. That would not be enjoyable for me.

Really? No way. I don't take, dude, I don't, I'm not a peasant. I don't take the bus. I either take a train or I drive. Well, you have a car. If I had a car, I would drive. Well, stop being a peasant. Yeah, but I would still want to tour from that guy. No, I wouldn't. Really? No, everyone is shut up. I don't want to hear anyone. Everything he said was factual. I don't want to hear anyone. It was factual. It was factual. Duty City. Yeah, duty City. Duty City is factual. There's a lot of, there's just dog shit. There's a lot of, there's just dog shit. It's got an epidemic. And in Spain, they are cross-referencing the dog shit. I hear that. That's Spain, but he didn't say that on the tour. He said it's coming here, though. Oh, he said it's coming here. That's what they're going to start doing.

Yeah, and then he started talking about this woman named Venus. He's like, there's this woman named Venus, right? You mean the fucking tennis player, you idiot? No, no, that's why I thought he was going. She had a fat ass. Then they took her body apart and they displayed it in a museum for years. What? And I was like, what is the guy?

That's true. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, and then I looked it up and there's this like, it was this like horrible freak show where it was like a black woman with a fat ass. And they paraded her as a freak show. And then they took her organs. put them on display, and her name is Samantha Bartman or something like that.

Sarah Barman, yeah. That's fucked up. Wait a minute, though. But was this displayed in, what does that have to do with D.C.? No, nothing. He's going, listen, you're getting a whole podcast. That's on a bus.

Yeah, they talk a lot of crazy shit. This was going all over the place. There was no, okay. And then behind me was a gay black dude and I was hearing conspiracy theories about why white people are in charge. That was kind of fun. White people aren't what?

Why white people are in charge? Oh, why they're charged. And he was whispering it, but I can hear him because I didn't have my headphones in. What was the reasoning? Because I think spiritually we fucked up. He was like, I think spiritually we did something and we're getting repaid for it. And I was like, damn.

So he thinks this is karma? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his whole thing. Is that karma bit them in the ass because they did something weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So this is a bus full of mental illness. Oh, this is the bus.

Hey, look, look, that other guy was correct. It is. But like, I remember taking a bus. Like, I mean, I don't know. There was not that much. I think it's because people are, Like, it's not that if you could find a train, you could get a train. Like, how much is a difference between whatever?

Like, you just didn't want it. Like, you could pay to get out of the insanity. It never used to be that crazy when I was on a bus. Wait, that's like the most tame bus ride I've ever had. Oh, no. That's, I know. Was it a full bus, bus too? Yeah, I was full, yeah.

Oh, dude, no, never going to do it. My thing is the disease just need to go back more. Because that was the thing is like they were, we promised outlets and there was no outlets. Of course there's no outlets. A lot of buses have that. Mega bus. Yeah, mega bus too, dude. But it's like, I don't fuck with a bus.

I haven't taken a bus. I don't even know. When's the last time I did? Oh, I went to Boston. Yeah. And I took that fun. Ah, whatever the fuck. That fucking thing is.

Was it the fun one? There's one that's like an airplane, apparently. It's not an airplane. They call it like the jet because you take it and they have like champagne. It's probably so much money though. Oh, I never heard that. No, this was like down in like Chinatown. And you can get like one of them, one of the company went out because like the bus would get on fire or some shit.

But you go out for Wicked Cheat. That was a lot. What was the name of the bus? Funwa. Some shit like that. What? Are you doing it with an accent? I'm very confused.

Yeah, I know. It was like funoie or some shit. It was like Lucky Star. I don't fucking know. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Lucky Star, right? They still have that. And then I forget the other one.

The other one was like funua or some shit like that. It was something like that. Well, this one, apparently Flix bus is run by Asians too. According to the Black Adams. Good for them. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Someone's got to do it.

You know? The Greeks had diners. The Asians have buses. Yeah. And, you know, uh, laundry. The whites have America. White's of America. Apparently, yes,

you know, people on the bus. We fucked up spiritually. I know. It was, I haven't heard of a lot of conversations. And then the other guy behind me, the black guy that was talking about the spiritual stuff, he was like, yeah, I got to have find one of those organizations that hires you for jobs.

They're called like temp agencies. And I'm like, this is another opportunity for me to hop in the conversation because all I do is work for temp agencies. Who's sitting next to you? a Hispanic guy who was asleep. Good for him. Oh, man.

God damn. That's a good person to sit next to. God bless that person. The next one was the Japanese guy yelling on the phone on the way back. God, dude. Wow, what a U.N. a fucking shoot myself in the head. Just annoying ass people.

There's no way. You know what? That's what you get for being poor. I enjoy the mushroom. I like that. I enjoyed my experience. And she's just like, that's what you get.

You got to be around. I don't want to be around people. Ethnic people. I love ethnic people. I don't like annoying people. And every one of those people sound annoying. No, no. Dude, because you are a child.

I don't know. I can't deal with noise. I can't deal with people. I have a tolerance that makes me a child. Yes. That, yes. There's no fucking way. Uh-uh.

Would not be able to hang with that. That would drive me bananas. You ever take a megabus? Like when I was really wicked young. Yeah. I almost went on the wrong mega, but me, my buddy, we went up to Florida State. And we got off and the, or no, it was the Red Coach bus.

So it was like a red bus, and we were the only white people on it, and we smoked a joint. And then we walked on this other red bus. And then we got halfway on it, said, like, Johnson Family Reunion. Like, that is awesome. That would have been so fun. That's like a 2000 sitcom. They're all wearing the same shirt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dead person on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take it about, like, public transit outside of New York, depending on, like, Charles of South Carolina, sucked so bad. because when I crashed my car, I had to take public transit. And it was fucking atrocious, man.

Really? Yeah, because it would take, like, they're usually in other cities that are just not, you know, their little towns basically, like Charleston. They have, like, a central hub. And the matter where you have to go back to that hub to get anywhere. And it would take fucking forever. And all the buses wouldn't work right.

It's like, no wonder people, like, you know. So, yeah, I've experienced it. And from that day, like, I know. I do not go on any bus rides now. What does suck, I will say this, is when somebody has their kids. on the bus. Yeah, I bet. That is horrendous.

Because then you have a kid just run down the aisles and then getting yelled. That is like horrendous. I had dad on the other bus and I had to blast rain noises into my ear. Yeah, I bet.

Yeah, and it was not drowning out the kid. Yeah, you're getting the bottom feet of people, bro. On a bus. Got much society. I am included in that though. Exactly.

I got like three hours of sleep. Oh, dude. Some, uh, yeah, my buddy. You know when you people are like, yeah, my couch is really comfortable.

That's the biggest fucking lie. It's because somebody sits on the couch for like an hour. They're like, my couch is great. And then you sleep on the couch. And it is horrible. Was the spot worth it? Where'd you go? No, it was a five minutes spot.

I kind of ate shit. A five minutes spot? I didn't know that. I didn't know that. So it had the lineup of people and then said times and then out of town by my name. So I'm like, all right, I'm assuming I'm getting more than the people there that were doing like eight. So I was like, I assumed I was doing more than eight.

And I'm like, I wanted to break into the DC scene. And I also, I didn't have any spots like that night. I was like, it'll be a fun thing. And I have a friend that lives there. So, yeah, you're like a little adventure time. Yeah. Okay. The show, I get on stage and the amplifiers are like, or the, the speakers are pointed at me in a weird angle.

So, like, the sound is all fucked up. And I couldn't tell if the audience could hear it. And then somebody tried to connect to a Bluetooth speaker to the thing when it happened. And it was just the most mediocre, like, set in my life. And it was the most okay. And then, like, I think I made some connection. So I was like, all right, maybe I'll go back. And like, but I was like, I was expecting to go up and just.

rip it. I'm like, wait, wait, what they see? This fucking New York- New York-I-Y. I know. You can't, dude, don't do that. You can't have that. Like, first off, you're going to give it a bad name for New York Comics, and two. You can't fucking expect. To have a good set? Yeah, no, I never do.

Really? But sometimes you're like... I don't have any expectation. I'm going to go in there and have fun. Well, that is, that is the way to do it. That's a good way to do it. And I know, I, for the most part, have gotten to that. But I was like, all right, I've never met these people. It would be nice to have a good set. But that's when you bomb is when you do the

you're not excited about. I didn't bomb, but it was just a weird set. No, I hear you. You didn't feel like you ripped. Like you wanted to rip. Yeah, but if you're working on stuff you're actually excited about, then you will have fun and then it will go well.

But it's also weird when you get on stage and you're hearing like, like you're a voice sounds all weird. And you went on a bus surrounded by psychopaths. But I felt bad talking about my buddy there because I sounded like from fucking stepbrothers where I'm like the acoustic, it's not an acoustic environment.

He's like, all right. See in New York. And he's like your hair looked great up there. I haven't even since 1982. I know, I got you. Oh my God, that's funny. That sucks. I'm sorry, dude.

Well, you know what? No, I had fun because I was like, I drank beers with my friend. We had a good time. Then you saw your buddy. All right, good. Yeah, we had a good night. And then they went to bed. I watched bros.

Every time you guys have been on here, I talk about, because I hate shitting on things that I haven't seen. So Velma was last example, right? I was like, now let me watch bros and see if it is as much of an abomination as the world says. What bros? It was the gay movie. The Billy Eichner. Oh, you saw that?

Wow, you sat through that? Yeah, it was funny because I was eight beers in and I realized now that I was just blasting gay sex scenes and it wasn't even his house as his girlfriend's house that I was staying at. I'm just on the couch, drunk, just blasting this movie. That's hysterical. Wait, so is it bad?

Oh, my God. So first off, it's supposed to be funny. For me to be eight beers in and watch a gay sex scene and not giggle. There's now one giggle? I didn't giggle one. No, no. And that shows how unfunny that is.

That is the most teed-up situation for me to giggle. You're immature as shit and watching gay dudes have sex and no even giggle out of that. There was a point where there was two gay dudes blowing one dude and another dude and I was like, no, it's not funny. And it was like, it was just like. And you're not offended or anything. You just didn't feel anything? No. No.

Look, I thought they should have had more butt fucking in it. Yeah. So that's really sad, dude. Yeah, it was really. That is, thanks for bringing that up again. I forgot how bad that was like, dude. That dude just sucks, Billy. Nice.

Thanks. Blaming it on straight people for not going. That is also a great move. You're homophobic if you don't like this movie. Yeah, exactly. It's like your people didn't come see your movie. The first thing is like him doing a podcast and he's like the Stonewall movement

was actually started by a black trans woman. And you're like, you're just trying to get brownie points with your own community right now. Oh my God. He repeats it three times throughout the movie. Dude, what happened to him? Wasn't he pretty funny when he did Billy Eiker on the street? That was pretty funny.

I've heard some people liked it. It's just him yelling at people. Yeah, but that was, you know, I'm fine with that. That was entertaining enough. It wasn't like you fucking, you know. Then he did that other TV series with them, like, it was like trying to be like a 30-something, like a modern day 30-something. He was on Parks and Rec. He was entertaining on that.

Yeah. I also think he's a pretty good actor from what I've seen. I just don't think like why it, I don't know. Well, it's like, they shouldn't have branded as a comedy because it was really interesting. I was like, oh, I didn't, by the way, 100% I'm checking out if I'm straight this whole movie. I would do a dick look every couple minutes to be like, all right, that did nothing.

I was like, because I think I'm straight, but you're like, you never watch that much graphic gay sex. And you're like, I would look down at it. Do I have to have a conversation with my dad? Nothing happened. So just for the listeners that have questions. You were straight as hell. What's up? Yeah, yeah.

That's true. Yeah. That's so we'd be hard as a rock. Yeah, dude. You were saying, I cut you off though. You were saying something important. But anyway, I don't, that was a big flop. And I'm trying to think, do you watch all that.

kind of shit? Like, do you watch anything that's like popular? Like, what's what? Have you seen Super Mario Brothers? That's what I'm being. Loved it. It was fucking incredible. Yes. Did you see it? No. It was so good. Me and Patty DeFino saw it. It was so funny because after the movie

we got obviously baked. You could see each individual thread in his hat, either because you're high as shit or because the animation's really dope. Someone else told his animation. It was beautiful. And we did RPS. We even know we were seeing an R&PX and our seats are vibrating when Bowser comes on. It was amazing. And I don't like Mario that much.

I don't know like Miles You're fucking nerd What are you like Sonic? No, no no I actually never into video games Because I start to play them My brother would be like I'll beat this level for you

And then I just watch I just get cucked in video games for hours Yeah same Yeah I just like watching I like Super Mario Brothers That's like one game I do like I do yeah so I love racing And I love smash pros

But it wasn't like something I'd play for hours Like if somebody had it Oh I'm getting a Nintendo light As soon as possible Yeah we got a switch Do you don't even use it yeah I'm getting a Nintendo light

I don't want to switch. I just want to be able to play like Game Boy. Yeah. Well, that'd be fun for the train. That would be fun for the train or, you know, whatever, me at home getting high. But I do want that. I just never, like, but I don't watch, like, I'm not into any, like, what other big movies in that everyone's fucking,

like, what's the Dungeons and Dragons and shit? I heard that was good. It's fun. Yeah. Or like. The Jennifer Lawrence one looks hilarious where she's fucking that kid. I don't know if he's a kid. You're out of your mind.

Are you serious? That looks hilarious. shitty. These rich people. Parents pay Jennifer Lawrence to fuck their son. That's funny. I'm in already. It's funny.

She's hot. That's why you're also. Yeah, but that's not just it. It's like I've seen movies with hot people. I just think they're all like the formula is fucking dead. You know what I mean? I'm fine with formulas. It just has to be the right thing.

It's like not every joke to be like. And guess what? The Hangover wasn't. That was the funny part too. He's like the hangover. They say faggot. Right. And that movie is Terry.

And you're like that's one of the funniest movie. It's like you're cherry picking now. a part of the movie you don't like. It's like to make a comedy and shit on the hangover that's crazy. Yeah, I'm like, what do you do? But also, it's a whole franchise. You're a fucking idiot.

But anyway, not you. No, you've already called me retarded. I'm aware that you think I'm stupid. You don't have to... You pawn scum. You're not scab. Bottom feeding idiots. Like, sometimes you don't think things through.

Like, I wouldn't have gone to D.C. for five fucking minutes. You didn't ask how much time you're getting? That's a good point. Do you what I'm saying? I'm not saying you deserve it. die. I still love you. But ask how many time. Do you have how much time you're getting before you go to D.C.? I agree. I agree.

What was I going to say? Oh, so, yeah, I don't watch any of this. Like, I can't sit there and watch that stuff. I have no patience for that. No, I get that. The one very funny part about Mario, though, is I was talking with Patty DeFino. Yeah. And we're walking. I love how you say Patty. You can't sit. You have to say his full name. Yeah, he's on every other episode of this fucking podcast. Like, Patty DeFino. But we're talking about it. We're like, you know what sucks? But every movie about New York, they cut out the homeless people. and it's like it always makes New York seem better

because there's never it always cuts around homeless people and I was like there's always a crazy guy yelling and we literally the second after said there was a guy like yeah it's in my brain and it was just like the most perfect timing ever

me and him caught that too with the Adam Driver movie there's this Adam Driver movie where he keeps falling he's getting chased by a dinosaur and he falls like five times the movie and finally he's running from a dinosaur and I go watch he falls right now

and the dude just fucking fell those moments are just so perfect what movie was this book 65 what is that a movie called 65, it's like not Jurassic Park with dinosaurs in it? He's part of like an alien race or whatever

that looks like humans? Yeah, actually you're totally right, yeah. And then he crash lands on Earth. The day that the, uh, the, uh, asteroids coming to kill the dinosaurs. And he has to get off the planet. It's really dumb. What a pickle. And then I saw Renfield. Are you serious? Jesus, crazy. I'm just realizing.

I can't believe studios are putting money into this shit. I'm just realizing how often I get in and go see movies. It's like every other week. I can't. I can't. I saw Renfield the other day. The, Nicholas Cage, vampire one. Oh, how was that? So bad. Was it? They don't know how to write. You saw it? No, but it looked kind of intriguing.

It was, okay, as an action movie, it was cool. It was very colorful. It was bloody, stuff like that. But I think because they can't be edgy in comedy, they're edgy and violent, which is fine. I don't mind that. But you know, when they're like... No, I do. That's a good point. That's why I hate all the con. Like, there's no good comedy. Yeah, somebody's heads explodes and they go, holy fuck. And they're like, that was a joke, wasn't it? And you're like, no. I mean, still have that because I like watching people's heads It's not like, you know, it's not super bad. Yeah, yeah.

Or like, one of the other movie. I watched Bambuzel last night. Did you have you ever seen a speckley movie? That's a good one, dude. There's some, uh, it's fucked up, but there's some funny stuff in it. Yeah. But that's a really funny. I saw it recently for the first time was a white man can't jump.

Really? I was the first time you see in it? Dude, they remade that and just fucking ludicrous. I'm so pissed that they've remitted it. It's not ludicrous. It's not, no, he's not in it. But that's fucking. Luda!

That'd be amazing if Luda was in it. fucking love Luda. But no, that is insane. But what did you think of it? That was great. And a great film. It's a great movie. Rosie Perez is hot in it.

Yeah, she's high. You see her boobs. Did you see her boobs? Did you see her boobs? It's such a shame. Wesley Snipes is a fucking crazy guy because he's so good in it. He is so good in it.

I like so good. Wesley Snipes as a comedic player was great. Like if you were some major league? Oh yeah. He was fantastic in Major League, dude. Have you seen Major Pain? No. Yeah.

That movie rules. That's great. Is it a good movie? Yeah. It's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing is you can't make something for sake of being fun. You know what I mean?

It's like it's got to have a thing. Because you can lean on other things. It's like if you make just a funny movie and it's not funny, then you fail. But you make a funny movie, it's also an action movie. They're like, well, actually it was an action movie. Well, God. Or you make, what's it called, bros? You're like, well, actually, it was a game.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right. What other movies have you seen? Keep on telling me. Because this is great. I never go to movies. We're planning to go

We're gonna go to the Scorsese movie And we're gonna go to the freaking This could be like three and a half hours You know what I'm not gonna do I'm not gonna see the black of the movie Because I have to sit through There's nothing boring You're not gonna see what?

You're not gonna see what? What blackberry movie? They're making a movie about the making of the blackberry It's like I hate this shit It's so fucking boring me They are making a movie about the making of the library I would rather watch Thanos fight Like 12 more cartoon characters

Than watch them be like This is the story of how they made What about the movie about Nike? I thought that looked like shit. Yeah. That's the same shit. We got to just now go to things that happened five years ago. What's the player's name?

Michael Jordan. Yeah, I know. Yeah, no. That is. That is, but I like that. That's like, did you see Godzilla? That was my favorite moment of Godzilla, though. There's like, they call him Godzilla.

I'm like, yeah. I never seen it. Sometimes it's nice when that happens. That's why I always hit an Independence Day because I hated Bill Pullman when he did that speech. It's annoying as fuck. That uplifting American speech? our Independence Day. And I'm like, I can't, I can't watch it.

I get jazzed up by movie speeches. I was, I was fired when it came out. I thought it was a masterpiece. No, I got, I got jazz from, what is that, 1917, when they did that whole,

and then he's running. That's the last time I got fucking, like, wasn't that a great shot? Yeah, this, whatever. That's the last time I get. Yeah, black clansman when David Duke's going off. Yeah, I like speeches.

You take it back. No. I like that I have to say no. There's this little party. I'm like, what if somebody thinks I'm serious? But, yeah, no, I don't like most things. There was something I saw recently that I drew. Yeah, I saw Braveheart again, love, or for the first time. Oh, first time you seen it? Yeah, yeah.

You liked it? That's a good one, dude. When he cuts her throat, that's fucking shit's crazy. Cold and shit. They do it so fast, too. They put her up there and you're like, holy shit. That's how she goes out, dude? Yeah. And that's how I heard about it. That's why he creates the revolution, all for pussy.

He wasn't going to do shit. He was going to get married and live his little quiet life. And then he killed this woman. And then he's like, all right, here we go. Yeah. Because that's like, there's not that many hot Scottish women. Where am I going to find another hot Scottish? Yeah.

What the fuck? She was a babe. She was a babe. And it's like, now you're taking that one, man? Now it's like, what I got fucking three-tooth ginger face, freaking patsy over here. Just give up. Exactly.

and rather the brother. That's another problem. There's also there's a lot of incets going on there. I think that's what causes that, right? What, the ginger thing? Just the ugliness in the UK. Oh, yeah, big time. All that, yeah, definitely.

Especially the rich people. Yeah, yeah, that was like the whole thing. That's how they did it, the imbredited, or they did, like, you know, split, you know, like, all right, the queen of Spain and whatever the fuck to create legions is. But yeah. Yeah.

Mostly 100%. Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah, it is gross. That's why, you know, that's why, and even like in Mormons, too, that's why Steve Young has a, those short years. You look at Steve Young, the football player?

No, I don't know. He's like related to Brigham Young. Okay, does Brigham Young? Yeah, short, what? You don't know. Bring him Young? Yeah, short, what? Short years.

His years are wicked short. Oh, tiny little. I've heard bringing young. I can't get over in the show in the name. It's just like. Brigham Young is the guy that. Who, I guess he invented Mormonism. Oh, okay.

I thought that was, um, John Smith. No, John Smith. Fuck Pocahontas. No, John is a John. John something. Something created Mormonism. Yeah. John something created Mormonism?

He's sort of, I don't know if he's considered like their prophet, sort of. What the fuck did Brigham Young do? I don't know. Started a fucking university. He did, but he was Mormon.

Maybe he was, like, I thought he was like the one of the guys that started it. Maybe he's like his right-hand man. Yeah. I don't know, dude. But that's how. Did you grow up a religious?

Weird. Kind of, like, like we were born, I was baptized Catholic. Okay. but you guys were like the kind that would like... No, we went. Oh, you went?

When I was a kid, we went. Like, my dad was like, they're going to grade. He's Catholic. And then as I got older, my dad was like, you know, the priests all touched little boys. Like, my dad told me, too. And I'm like, no, but this, I'm young. This is back in like, 1989. And my mom would be like, well, you touched by a priest to something?

Because my mom, my dad went to parochic school. I think it was like across the board thing. Yeah, my dad went to parochroo school. Like, he went to Catholic school in the Bronx. Yeah, yeah. So he grew up with it. So it's just like. So he's always like whenever we would, I'd go to like, I'd have to go to these classes.

Like I'd go to communion class. And he'd be like, just, you're going on a communion class. And he'd be driving me. He's like, I just want to let you know this is all bullshit. Whoever had the power wrote the Bible. And I'm like, then why am I doing this? You goes, because it's just one of those things. So you just do.

It's just like, you know what I mean? My dad was very real with me. Sometimes it's probably too real, but I don't know, thinking back on it. But I've talked about this before. It's like, what's wrong with giving kids more information? Everybody gets so probably like, new corrupted a kid. It's like, did the kid learn some? It's like, who cares if he learned something early?

It's like, as long as like, you know what I mean? It's like, for generations, I feel like kids were watching like everybody get murdered. That's not good. But I think we can sacrifice a little bit of that for information. No, I think, well, I think it's bullshit. I think you should fucking not hold anything back with fucking. I think it's dumb. This whole thing.

I don't know. I was exposed to a lot as a kid. Like, I remember being a kid. My dad would take me through the Bronx. I remember seeing grack heads when I was a kid and be like, what's that dad? And it's like, that's a crack. I'm like, oh. okay.

It's just like, you know, like with my brothers, who probably was a little too raw, but like with me, I don't know. Like, I never was like, I mean, I saw, like, I never was shielded for shit. And I realize, like, there's a fucking group and I'm not blaming Florida, but there's a, these group of women in Florida that are like the Liberty, whatever.

Don't blame Florida. Blame women. Yeah. Well, these two bitches named Tina and Terry or some shit like that. They look like hairdressers. Yeah, seriously. And they've got such bad hair. Like that hairdresser bad hair that's like from the

1980s. Spiky shit. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And it's like spiked with like it's got like, so they lead this coalition where they're trying to stop books going into Florida in these schools.

Like fucking Judy Bloom we're talking here. You know what I mean? Because she's like, we will not have. She was a bit of a cum slide if you ask me. You wish. But it's just like it's so.

Which one was Judy Bloom? She's, they're about to do a movie. They're like, dear, dear God, it's Margaret, can you hear me?

But she talked about sexualization of being a child and be, you know, getting into your, sexual age and all this I never read the shit. That's how my girlfriend learned about sex. Her parents put like books on the show, which is so funny that they just snuck books. Instead of talking to them, they just snuck books on the shelf of the back.

That's funny. See, my parents never, no, I never that's the one thing my parents. My parents never had the sex talk with me. I had the sex talk on a boat. That's the most Florida shit. My dad took me out of the boat. They were playing some Rolling Stones, then he turned the key. When Michael, what do you know about sex? And then I explained it. And the only thing I didn't know is that you don't pee into the vagina. You thought you peed into it?

it? How old were you? I was way too. I was like 12 and I was like that I already know about all this. And you're like, oh, okay, you turned the wrong time. Wait, you're 12, but you thought you peed into the vagina? You had to drink a lot of water. I'm not making fun of you. You just thought you peed in the vagina. You thought that coming out was peed. And then I also used to think that

pee was come for a while. Like I jerk off. Maybe I bust into fat load and I'd pee after coming. I'd be like, that was a big one. Wait a minute. So you had it reversed? You thought peeing was coming and coming was peeing? I guess. I don't know what I on. You had dyslexic Yeah, I don't know

what I thought. I thought it being after. I got a calm. Mom, where's the bad thing? I got to calm. Like a little kid. I got to have shownies.

I know. It's like, excuse me, Mrs. Flainflat? I have to calm. I have to go. I have to go.

It's like a long. Come. All these guys are coming in there. Just not going to the bathroom. hurry up, I gotta come. How much are you coming? God! That's what I think because I first started jerked off, I didn't have any...

And then he's fucking, he's like, I'm gonna pee! I'm gonna pee! I'm peeing! I didn't come for like the first year of jerked off. And then... Oh, you didn't at all? No, but I just feel so much shame afterwards because I had OCD and I would...

And then I thought it was... I just think there was an odd amount of times that it would give me bad luck. And so I jerked off an even amount of time. I kept failing exams. I mean, yeah, I understand. Yeah, so I was like, okay, well, if I jerk off three times, I'd hit three, I'd have to go to four. If I had five, I'd have to go to six.

And it was these crazy amount of... You had to keep it even? Yes. But then I found out I'm just failing the exams because I'm spending the whole day masturbating before. God's not punishing me at all. But my favorite is, I would always jerk off and swear to myself, I wasn't going to do it again. And I listened to David Bowie's changes. Like, I would look at the man and be like,

Chet Changes. And then I'd like, make me. make my bed and be like, it's a new day. And then like, three days later, I jerk off and be like, who am I? I felt so much shame behind jerking up. Because, like, my parents never told me any religious thing, but my buddy is like, dude, you know, if you,

that's God will send you to hell. You don't repent after jerking off. Really? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, we always knew it was bullshit. Like, we went through religion, but we knew it was kind of like bullshit. For me, I found out of bullshit when I was drunk one time, and I started just yelling at God.

I was like, show yourself. And he didn't. And I was like, that one night, I was like, it's fucking fake. But then now I've gone back. I'm like, I believe in God, but I don't know if there's one. Yeah, like, I don't know. I mean, I'm glad I went through it all because there's still like just, you know, whatever, just experienced. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Better than not having anything. For sure, yeah. But my mother's getting more, like, she's always been a little religious, but she's getting older. The older you get, you're going to die. You know what I mean? Like my aunt had MS and she was like, like, like my mom watches. It's like she'll go to church every Sunday.

She does a whole novena. She's got like three, four Bibles fucking, you know. But, you know, it's just like, it's just part of their identity. It's not really of anything else. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah, I think it's, I think if you were to ask me what I believe, it's pretty crazy. But I don't know.

I don't really believe in anything. But what I would guess is that us seeing the UFOs and all this shit is like the very tip of the iceberg of us realizing we're in some sort of simulation. So like this is like us seeing microphones in like the tournament show. And we're realizing that there's this some sort of simulation run by other beings outside of this. I don't know if it's one dude or if it's. just like a bunch of dudes, but I

pretty... I told you, it was crazy. But that's what I believe. I mean, I'm not saying it's not out of the purview of like whatever. But I don't know anything. It's like, I would just guess that that's what's happening. I mean, I do like, do I believe there's maybe other life out there? Yeah, I think it'd be

obnoxious. And you know who you're just fucking Tom DeLong? That is still my favorite thing. What? Tom DeLong from Blink 182. He released... He released you... Of course you hate him. He released UFO footage like eight years ago. And everybody's like, he was on Joe Ogun. Jargoins like, this is stupid, get this out of here.

This is so dumb. You're an idiot. Whatever. Really? He wasn't that to admit, but he's like, come on, this is nonsense, dude. And then the Navy, or the... This was right. And this was the footage that Tom DeLong did. So my favorite is I was watching Blinkwate 2 at Coachella. Yeah.

And they have a song called Aliens exists. And it's obviously Tom DeLong's song for him to talk about aliens because he loves that shit. Yeah. He like left the band to like get into UFOs. Did he really? Yeah. But there's a lyric of the song where it goes, we all know.

Conspiracies are dumb. And he goes, no, they're fucking not. And like yells into it. God. Yeah, he's like fully, he's in, he's in. Oh my God. Have you ever been on the extraterrestrial highway out by Cali? No, I would love it, though.

I think it goes through Nevada. I can't remember. So it is freaky as fuck. It's the desert. You're in the, like, just, it is nothing living. And then as you're driving, though, there will be, like, this extraterrestrial, like, there's just people out there because they believe in the aliens. and they create like,

I guess there's side road attractions that you could stop. I never got to stop because it freaked me out. I got to be honest, you'd freak me out too much. And like before you leave, there's like a sign that says, make sure you have extra gas in your car.

There's no gas station. Oh shit. So I was kind of like, I'm not stopping. I'm just going. And those people, and then in the middle of nowhere, there was cattle just on the road. And I had to wait from the clear out.

But I'm like, where the fuck are these? There's nothing to eat. And they're tagged. But it was the creepiest fucking place I ever. Like, I just drove straight through. I didn't stop at all. Deserts freak me out, bro. Yeah.

I don't like deserts. I don't fuck with deserts. They're very weird. And I mean, I respect them. I'd go check what, but they, I just go. It's scary. If you break down, you're fucked. You're fucked.

I don't know how to live in that shit. I'd rather be in the woods. I could deal with that better than the fucking desert. That's a good point. Yeah. But did you have any alien fear at all? Or is that totally? Not alien fear, but I'm just like,

these people are fucking. I'm more afraid of the people. The New York abductions. That's hilarious, me. And somebody's like, I was abducted in my apartment in New York. Yeah, no,

they're not coming here, bro. It just... But the ones that are crazy, like the Travis Walton one, where that guy literally, like, all of his friends, like, came to the authorities and they're like,

he, we just saw that guy get fucking abducted by an alien. Wait, what? This guy went missing for, like, five days, and was, like, pronounced missing. And all of his friends saw him get taken by... Or they saw him get hit by the beam.

And then his... It's a fire in the sky, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've heard the guy... Oh, really? He sounds very logical when he talks about it, and it's pretty crazy. So what happened? There's like an actual beam that took him up, like, every stereotypical thing we think about aliens?

Yeah, he got hit by the beam, and then he was on an operating table with, like, the gray ones. And he said they were really weird because he'd hit them, and they were just, like, they were weak as shit. What did he do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He freaked out, but he said he'd hit them, and they kind of like, the gray things got, like, knocked over very easily. Like the... Oh, God, they're a bunch of simps? Yeah.

I hope they're not. We've enough simps. No more sims. That's why they have... I think that's why I'm pissy. I'm just sexually fucking frustrated. No more sims. We need alphas.

That's true. Can we get some alpha aliens? If aliens land, they could be like, first of all, we got an Andrew Tate. Are you gonna fuck me? Yeah.

Don't be another species that's afraid of me. Can we just please like, I bet you the grayes be good at eating pussy. The little ones are just going out. They have a tiny little mouse. Oh, God.

No. They probably got tongues though that can go way up. Maybe. But are they great. They were literally gray, he said. Yeah, they were like, the little gray ones. And then he said he hit them.

But then they were like, we're going to come, we're going to get somebody who can, like, communicate with you better. And then came, like, a human being-looking person. They communicated with him. I forgot what he said. But it's, like, one of those things where he's like... Have you seen contact? Yeah.

I haven't seen how it was that. That one's with Jody Foster and Matthew McConaughey. And it's great. It deals with the whole religious thing, but it's really good. Is that the one where they go into the center of the earth? No. She, time travels and she... There's a scene, though, where she meets her dad.

I think I remember this. It's a good movie. Yeah, it's a great movie. And then what's the other movie, too, with, I was just thinking about, fuck, I can't remember, never mind. But so he thought that there's a little, oh, what's the other movie with fucking, the ginger, it was about the,

it was about the aliens that they communicated. Oh, that was great. I don't even talk about, with, what's their name? They look like Amy Adams. Right. Yeah, and Jeremy Redd. Arrival. Arrival.

That was great. See, if they came like that, they looked like a bunch of roots on a tree. I can see that. That would be freaky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The silver things, I'd be like, get the fuck out of it. That's like a fucking West Village Halloween costume.

But I believe that way more. Because it's like the whole thing. I like the, I think the root. The theory is that that's us in the future. Oh, is that the theory? Yeah, because it's like what we evolve into. We stop using our like our muscles for stuff. And then basically it's like, there's no need to be this tall when you have a fucking.

Oh, man. So we're all turning into alphas. I mean, uh, betas? Yep. Yeah. Entertainment is right. by the way he should play I've said I told you this before

he should play fucking Lex Luthor that would be the best casting for any movie Andrew Tate? Yes I guess so I don't know I don't Is he still around

Is he arrested? I think I did this bit With you on a podcast He arrested? Patti's podcast Patty Defino Yeah The Patty DeFino

He's back We'll keep going on aliens He's back He's got a shit I want to talk about aliens This is very interesting to me Did wait for some

Andrew Tate's still around I thought he got arrested No he was released Oh okay, nothing's happening now. Oh, I think so. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, so this guy,

how long ago was this guy? This was like in the 70s. And they drug tested him and there weren't any drugs. But to be fair, acid doesn't show up on a drug test. Yeah, no shit. But it's also, it would be weird that all of his friends, like, were like, yeah, we saw, we all. I mean, maybe they were all just like,

this will be a funny thing to say. But it's like he was pronounced missing. I don't know. Wow. And then he came back. Yeah, yeah. And then what, or all his friends fucked them up, raped him. Yeah.

You got abducted. And it's 70s and you just want to... Welcome to Zinu, bitch. You got a pretty mouth, just like him deliverance. That gray thing was my dick. Spread them cheeks. That's crazy, though. So that's what the alien thing is,

is that where it's the evolution of the... There's two theories. There's that, and there's also the theory that we are a mix of their genetics into primates. So that's why we're like kind of of hairy, but we're not as hairless as the gray ones. So, like, there's, we are, there's either, we evolve into them, or

we are a subject of advanced. I think I like the, we evolve into them, because I like, I think evolution. That's what Tom DeLong was saying. But Tom, Belong was saying, those are like drones, basically, though. That, like, we become, those things, actually, his was different. So some people think, we're from the future, he thinks

that those are, like, just, like, just drones. Like, those are, like, little things they send off. All right, so. So those are robots. Those are cyborks, so they have some skin, but... Oh, are they... That's a third theory, I guess. Okay, so is it like Westworld?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, that. Okay, I got you. Okay. And then we're living in a simulation where, like, what's the purpose of us being around then? What do they watch us?

Like, what do they get off? So if we're, it's been on which one. So if it's, if we are the advancement of humans, or they are the advanced version of us, they would need to make sure that we don't fuck up, I guess, to make them. I was thinking to some other crazy, too. I was like, what if AI, you know, what if they, AI can only exist if humans exist. Because humans make AI. Right.

So what if AI goes back in time to create humans and it's never-ending cycle? What if AI, it's like just a circle of life. So it's like, we create AI in this timeline. Right. Then AI gets a time machine and then goes back to day one. Yeah. Isn't that 2001 Space Odyssey? that whole thing?

I never understood the ending of that. I just thought it was weird and there was a giant baby. No. Yeah. Is it? I don't know. I have to rewatch that.

Actually, I've been wanting to rewatch that. I have to rewatch that again. That movie's amazing because of when it was filmed. Oh yeah, the 70s and the way the cinematography that he did for that? It was fucking nuts, yeah.

Of course. I'm glad you seen that film. That's a great one. I like most good movies. No, yeah. You got, no, I got to say, when it comes to movies,

you watch a lot. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a good answer. I've seen a lot of movies. Yeah. They might not be a lot of good ones. You know good music. You're good with music, but you'll still go see a retarded castle and fucking...

It's, like, ridiculous. Oh, my buddy invited me a volcano band. It's so mad I can't make it. He's like, yeah, dude, I got a cabana and everything. They got these little sippy cups where you put booze in them, and then you just float down the lazy river. I'm like, goddammit, that sounds like so much goddamn fun. Listen, I mean, yeah, no, this is why I like about Florida. I love the party.

The Florida is a great party. I would go... That's my party state. You know what I mean? I think consequences are low when you're at the beach. You know what I mean? It's just like an empty thing. You can wrestle with people.

I get it. The farther, the warmer you get to a place, the stupider the human is. And I get it. It's because there's so much fun to do. You got fishing, you got swimming, you got drinking, the sun's out. You know what I mean? You don't need to have intelligence. You could just like, you know, make sell seashells at some stupid, you know, store.

I will say this, though. I was talking to somebody else about this. It may have been you. I think the reason also why I like going out in Florida a little bit better is because of the diversity of thought. So it's like... Look, listen to me. What diversity of thought?

Listen to me. I'm so serious about this. All right. So in New York, if you go out, everybody believes the exact same way politically. I hope not. It is, though. If you go to a bar in New York... You think?

So you go to... All right. Or it's divided. You go to a finance profile? Yeah. I was going to say it would be divided. I would think it would be like either this way or that way. Right.

You go to a finance bar, they're all conservative. You go here, they're all liberal. But if you're in your 20s, you go to a bar in Florida, you're going to have liberals and conservatives. So the people, their conversation, they know how to- Oh, I just think they don't give a fuck. That's what I'm saying. They know how to put it aside.

But that's because they're like- No, I don't see it that way. I just think they're just dumb. They don't even have a thought. No, it's not a dumb thing because it's like there are people that are very heated on one side. but it's like if you go to a bar in Florida you're going to have a mix of liberals and conservatives

you go to bar in New York it's going to be one or the other for the most part I think there's a mix but I you know what I don't know you know I this is a very interesting I hear you and I don't think I think it's very interesting I don't I take the level but maybe it's me being arrogant of them just being Florida and being like what's there to worry about

no because you go on these people's Facebooks and they're still there yeah yeah it's all there I would say yes but once the Trump stuff happened that's when you see like an actual hard divide in Florida now. Like I got family that won't talk to other sides.

So older people, yes. Older people are very divisive. But people in their 20s and 30s I think are cool. Last time I went to a bar in Florida, it's like you might see... We're all trying to fuck too. Exactly.

So I think that's pretty side. That's a good point. But here, they'll try to fuck at angles. They'll be like, I'm a this or that. Because there's a lot more money involved. Right. Because people's dating profiles, everybody says here, they're talking about dating profiles. They're like, everything says, I'm a this, I'm a that.

Right, right. We're there, they're like, you have a boat, I'll suck your dick. Right, right, right. See, I like the simplistic of that. Exactly. Two, though, we have that here if you go to Long Island in certain places. The thing is, though, what you're looking at is you got people from other places that are coming here to be like, I'm this. Right.

And that's why it's Morse, but I'm just telling you as a general, like, if you look at New Yorkers, which don't really exist. Yeah, maybe you're going to Queens. You know what I mean? It'd be a little more. Right. Yeah, and I'm not saying, mostly young people, because old people, I'm just talking like this neighborhood, of course, because every. because every Gibron's not from, you know what I mean? They're not, you know, so, and it's expensive.

So it's a different, I think it's just a different playing field. You know what I'm saying? It's just, I hear you, though. It's a very interesting thing. But when you're in Florida, it's like, I don't know, whenever I was in Florida, that was just a very carefree, like. It's beautiful, yeah. I will say this.

I changed my mind. I've said so much in this podcast that things stay open late there, they don't. And that does. I noticed that last one with there. I guess it depends on Miami. It's open all night. But that's not the whole place. Yeah, because you need.

you can't have just white people living there that's what makes things stay out late you need some Hispanic you need some Latino shit yeah yeah because they they eat late that's what I mean that's what helps it out for Asians they fucking have they have all sorts of shit open till God knows what dude yeah you know

they play their music late I've never heard of Asian people playing their music late no I've never heard a gong past 9 p.m no I know there's other music I'm familiar with K-pop Actually, Jackie Chan has some sweet music. Ever heard his music?

No. He was like a pop star and it was... Was he really? Yeah, it's really sick. Shut up, you're being an idiot. He's also in a porno. Jackie Chan was in a porno too? Yeah.

How do you know about this stuff? Other podcasts? I think you're more informational than this one. I don't know about a Jackie Chan porn either. Yeah, it was called like Mother Knows Best or something. It was like some mom. He bangs his mom, yeah. Bullshit.

How long ago? Yeah, I'm curious about this, dude. Can you pull it up real quick? She does his own stance on it? Jackie Chan porn Let's see what fucking comes up Yeah, it's a real thing It's gonna be the Jackie Chan Adventures

Antire Wow, I don't know I haven't thought about aliens in a long time It's all I think about Because it's terrified of aliens When I was good Really?

Oh my god I thought I was gonna get abducted for sure I saw him on the news You know why? Because you live in Florida And you guys deal with space And shit like that I never really thought about space

I like I wanted to be an astronaut When I was a kid Dude he was in this fucking Florida That was the thing They were like dude You're going to, did you go to the Kennedy Space Center? And you're like, wow, I'm going to be an astronaut, too. Did you want to be an astronaut ever?

Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah, he was, yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he was a good challenger thing. There is an astronaut named Michael Goode. I was really pissed.

He had a great challenger bit. It's back, baby. It's back. It's big. Thank God. I loved it. He had a challenger bit that I loves because the fact, like, I'm sorry. It's horrible that it happened.

But I'm not the idea of like, you know, like bringing me in, like, all right, kids. Wow. This is Jackie Chan's porn? Well, this is one... Japanese porn star once blew himself up with Jackie Chan.

Oh, nice. She looks hot, too. Oh, good for him. That's also such a cop out. Dude, if you do porn in Asia, they just blur your genitals off. It's like, no. It's not even really...

What's the point? Yeah, it's like you're... Well, Jackie Chan, he's had a hell of a life, man. He's not a lot. I don't know. Did you find it? Is it true? Yeah, we found it.

Yeah. Okay. I was a different age guy. I mean... No, no, this is definitely Jackie Chan. the chan face. Yeah, yeah. The challenger.

Oh, he had a great challenger bit. You want to tell him? It was funny. I'm not going to tell a bit. All right. I'm not going to tell a bit, but the idea of like rolling in a TV,

like, you know, like be like, all right, kids, your teacher's going to be. Just, just watch. It just explode. Oh,

yeah. That's showing kids, too. That's trauma. That's a difference. Yeah. Seeing a crack and be like, don't smoke crack.

That's a learning lesson. But seeing your teacher or your mom getting exploded on a, you know, Oh, it's nuts. That's nutty. And that to me is so ridiculous.

Except for that one kid who got failed by her and he's like, that's right. That's the joke. That's a joke. That's the joke. That's the joke. My bad it does. That's fucking great, though.

It's just like, yeah, bitch. That's what you get. O rings. Yelling about my onion rings. Can't eat my Burger King onion rings, huh? What kind of kid are you doing? describing right now. Me.

Okay. I used to love Burger King onion rings. Burger King onion rings are very good. Dude, I haven't had them anymore. They got dairy in them.

Dude, this guy. You're getting even french fries, right? Because they put milk in them. That's the McDonald's. I know, it's all the dairy and all the fast food.

I'm going to have Burger King and Wendy's. Oh, this was going to ask you. So to say it this, is there been, is there's going to be like with your family? The pedophile thing.

You guys hear about that? No, there's another a petophile thing? He's saying he's getting it. They're going to try to do the death penalty for pedophiles. Okay. Which. Okay.

My opinion on. Yes. By the way, let's get your hot take on that. 95% of this podcast makes me sound pro pedophile. Every fucking time I have to defend it. Don't fuck kids. You should be thrown in jail for life. Or maybe not life.

Because they changed the penalties on us. They used to have really high penalties for pedophiles. And a lot of kids were getting murdered. And they found statistically when they lowered the dad, less pepilies. Because it's like, if you're like, I'm going to go to jail for life, you're like, I'm just going to fucking kill this kid. Really? Yeah. So like, yeah.

So they lowered the penalties to something's still terrible. It's still the worst. I mean, like, dude, it's, yeah. But so, and I think what's happening is there's this thing where people are like, dude, fucking murder all the pedophiles. I'm like, that's just you trying to prove you're not a pedophile. It's like there's that extra thing that like, I think it's virtue signaling, but for conservatives. It's the same thing as like, kill all the racists. It's like, look, this is a horrible thing.

but you're trying to just prove that you're not this thing. So you're like, I think we should fucking string them all up. You ask me, I'll shoot them around the fucking face. And you're like, all right, you're just trying to... Right. Yeah. So it's like now especially if you kill pedophiles, they will absolutely kill kids. I would guess.

I have no idea. It could work really well, actually. I don't know. It could be a great solution. I have no idea. Wait, I don't... So what's it just going to be you, you touch, you, you, you get fin for pedophilia? Yeah, where's the line?

Like, where's the line? Can't grab a tushy If you have If you have Exactly what's the line Like if you have shit on your computer Will you get killed? It's like if you

You have to physically Sex with a child Okay Yeah yeah Yeah But that's What if you're just gives you a blow job A job 25 years

What about a hand job Blow job? You don't mean Where's it goes? You got to wait till the kids Of legal age Then you're out Oh okay cool

This is why we have Levi here We need You know Fucking legal Dude, you know the pedophiles are gonna have a fucking clock now But they're just like, all right, 18 and one hour Like that or be like

You know, I didn't wear my yellow sweater on a Tuesday While I touched him, I'm okay You know what I mean? Whatever like the fine line will be I just said, I have no It could My tongue on it like Dalai Lama It could work incredibly well

It could be a great law that styles people For fucking kids But the hard part is You can oppose that law Because now you look like a fucking dick Can we just say this though? Hold on no This is what the problem is

Like you're never going to end racism. We're not going to end pedophilia. No. We're not going to end these things. We have to figure out how to make it work. Digital. They need to animate. That's just the answer.

They need to have animated stuff. And everybody's like that. Animated stuff or maybe like a like like a sex doll. For sure. Like a little fungid. Because imagine going to porn hub and your category is not there. That has to be frustrating. And you probably go, I'm going to go fine.

And you think about the people that don't cheat on their spouses because they have pornography. I guarantee you it's a similar thing. Nobody watches porn and they're like, oh, now I want to go cheat on my, I don't think anybody who watched a child porn and it was like, now I want to go out and go fuck a kid. It's like, they're probably like, this is like, they're probably, like, this is disgusting.

They're seeking it out if they're watching child porn. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think the people who, and maybe you have a system in place where if you go in, you're like, I will register as a sex offender, but I get to I get government access to this kind of pornography.

So you're taking the shit, but you're like a, it's like a badge of, like he's a respected pedophile. Oh, word. They bring them out on a parade, like with the veterans and stuff. They're like, yeah. Thank you for not fucking kids. Exactly. What if they're just speaking their truth?

That's why the LGBTQ, you know, they should take NAMBLA. They should take NAMBLA. Is that Nambla? Yeah. National. What is it? National Association of Man boy love. Man boy love.

Yeah. You don't hear chicks wanting, like, I mean, occasionally you get the school teacher fucking the young child. Oh, there's a ton. But not enough to make like a, you know, like a union. It's because it's guys. Yeah, it's because they're getting away with it more. Yeah, because nobody cares. Guys are just like, yeah.

They don't care. And the boys are probably like, I've got my dick suck. Yeah, exactly. If you don't get locked up for it, you're not going to protest it. But if you get locked up for it and you're like, that's bullshit, he loves me. Then that's when that's when that's, when the day, see, we're getting such like beta's, when is the first going to, like, 14-year-old kid that's going to plow a hot teacher, going to be like, I got sexually assaulted. That's happened before. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, but usually the parent finds out, and then they freak out. Yeah, they find, like, a text message, or whatever. It's just sexism. The only reason I think that's less big of a deal is because of sexism. Well, yeah, of course. I mean, that's everyone's thinking radar. And I'm like, that's just what it is.

Because if I, I think it's disgust. Whenever you hear about a dude fucking, like a 15-year-old, you're like, that's disgusting. Yeah, but a chick dead. And they're like, no. And they're like, so cool. But I think it's because when you were 15, you were like, I remember being a kid, you're like, if I could just, pass-passet, pass-past, pass-a. Was it really?

You guys really like that off? Yeah, you were like almost crying. If I could just have sex with a grown woman. Oh, man, dude. You were like, you were like, I would do anything to have sex with a grown adult. Like, you don't even care. Like, you're looking at teachers and they're fucking old and gross. Like my dick in it.

Oh, wow, man. It's like really a sickness. But I'm sure there's girls. You have boners. Non-stop. Well, as an older woman, I have a boner nonstop. By the way, I've said this before, why aren't there any lesbian pedophiles? You don't hear about it ever.

Oh. I've never heard about it once. Maybe they'll come around. Maybe it takes them a while to come out? Amsteen's girlfriend? That's it. That's the one time. Yeah, but she didn't fuck them, did she? Maybe, I don't know. I think. She's just like, by the way, what happened to her?

Yeah, I don't know. That's crazy. She's still, I don't know, doing stuff. Yeah, but she's not, like, in jail, is she? No, she's in jail. Oh, she's still in jail? Yeah, she hasn't said anything. Or, like, that's the thing, though, stuff could come out. There could be a picture of George Bush just having sex with a donkey, and people still be

like, yeah, whatever. Like, people's attention. Spanish so. Yeah, the Dalai Lama's already yesterday news. They didn't even get rid of them. The Tibet's, like, did they even do anything with them? That's why I've said this. You should be able to look at other cultures. They just released a statement being like,

he's a little wacky. Yeah. You should be able to look at other cultures and say, that's gross. It's like, that's how we grow as a culture. They came over here, they're like, that's not how you plant corn. That's stupid. And you go, all right. And then we kill you. Maybe put some buttons on your pants. And then we all come together. That's how it

should work. Put a bra on that. Bitch, man. What the hell, dude? Let them hang out, huh? Maybe don't wipe them out. But, you know, a little constructive criticism. Oh, my God, dude.

You know who's getting a lot of heat now? Canadians, and I'm glad. For what? Because they found dead bodies underneath the school that were, like, Native American shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They put them in these schools. That's so close to Canadian. Be like, yeah, no, it's terrible what they're doing down in America.

Yeah, exactly. So many dead. finally the Canucks got some fucking, you know, shit. And they, yeah. So finally. I'm going to start just spreading propaganda that they had more slaves than us. I would love to just start to knock down. That'd be like, they're actually terrible.

Dude, everyone has their shit. Everyone has their shit, man. Yeah, but everybody. It's like we, that's the hard part. I think America is so open about our shit that now people look at us worse than other places because it doesn't help that we make a fucking movie about it every two months. Yeah, it's true. I was like, hey guys.

See how we fucked up? But they haven't done. frame of the other world. They should do. That's the most badass story. Dude, he like took it. I mean, he was written by him, so it could be wrong.

What are you doing about? He took his slave master by like his neck, the overseer and was like, don't fuck with me. That's what he wrote, which is cool. Frederick Douglass.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's cool. Look at you. Fucking Frederick Douglass. Yeah, I'll throw things out there, you know. Yeah, they're taking dog shit and cross DNA sampling.

I'm sure that, uh, that's just me trying to correct for the black accent at the beginning of the episode. I hear you. I hear you. I don't know.

I've lately have a thing out for Dutch people. They kind of annoy me lately. They're just like... They're arrogant. They're arrogant and they have this like, you know, like, fuck you. Like, you know, the Switzerland. Like, you guys never did anything. You know what I mean?

Created acid. But they don't even think that. Oh, the Swedes did. You know what's crazy? So I've heard conspiracy theorists. They're like, CIA invented acid man. And I'm like, that's fucking bullshit. It was about Albert Hoffman in Switzerland.

Well, he did. But they used it as McCutra. Right. But then I, there were some guys of Switzerland. the show. I'm like, oh, you guys made acid. And they go, Zetlinson, that's the CIA. And I'm like, what? You guys think that the CIA made acid. I don't know. Oh, I don't know who made it, but I know the CIA

used it. Of course. On my control. But Albert Hoffman was the guy who was a chemist. It was an accident, right? It was credited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got on his fingertips. He thought his neighbor was like a witch or something. Which, by the way, I love liquid acid. That's my shit. I have it done. I would love to do acid. I can't do mushrooms. Can't do mushrooms. What is this? Fawks up my stomach so

so fucking bad. I can't enjoy it at all. Have you fast it? that normally helps. If you don't eat breakfast, you don't eat lunch, and then you take it. Because if you take it on an empty stomach, you trip harder, and it makes you less nauseous.

And also the pills help. Have you put them in capsules? Oh, dude, I've had the pet, like, capsules, and it still, like, gets me... Yeah, that's how you know it's kicking in.

You get out... Yeah, yeah, I know. I can't... Liquid I've always liked because it's so clean. See, I wish I could like... I'm too scared to do psychedelics. I'll dip back and do it at some point in my life.

I'm going to dip back and do it July 4th week, buddy. I'm not doing that shit. my friends where it's like I'm drinking Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I'm like, it would be so much better if I could drink Friday, do acid Saturday, and the drinks, you know what I mean? Like, as an adult it makes more sense to do psychedelic drugs because it'll space out your drinking

even more. You know what I mean? It's like you've got a long weekend. Not necessarily. As an adult, it'd be maybe if you don't have your shit together, if you take it and you're not careful, it can make you go fucking bananas. No, agree, agree. But what I'm saying is like, but versus a kid. It's like, I do think that like, I don't know, is a kid it's fun because you have no responsibilities.

As far as the hangover aspects like psychedelics make more sense as an adult because you don't have to deal with that like as a comedian it makes so much sense to take mushrooms at like noon and then have a show at like 10 p.m. Versus drinking during the day, which you can't even do it now. I don't know. I haven't done acid in so long. And I did it when I was younger. I don't remember how it made me.

I know like one time I did it almost well and I tripped for like two days straight. It's probably research chemicals. I don't do. I just took too much. Yeah, you say that though, but most of the time that's research. So there's like 40 drugs. Oh, I didn't know. Similar to acid.

My buddy took them and they were tripping for like two days straight. Oh, dude, two days. But it can look just like acid. It tastes like acid. It was amazing. Fuck that. Yeah, two days. Now it would be too much, but I was in college.

Two days for a whole weekend. I just tripped for two days straight. It was great. Yeah, I've heard, I could be wrong, but I've heard actual LSD it cannot last for more than 12 hours. Oh, really? Yeah, so if it is something else. Or maybe it's like 14, but it's like if it lasts longer,

it's most likely research chemical. But I could be wrong. Maybe if you take, I don't know, because then if you take an absurd amount of acid, it could make sense that it stays in your system. For a longer. Yeah, I don't know. I did take a lot.

I also know outside of that, if you take a little bit of research chemicals, it still lasts a really long time. So that's why I think there's like a crossover there. So it's like maybe you take a ton of acid you'll trip for two days, but definitely if you take research chemicals, you can trip for two days. So it's like likely that.

I just get so angry when I can't control, like what I'm thinking and seeing. Even when I smoke too much, like the anxiety is me just being like, I'm a fucking pussy because I can't stop thinking about this stupid shit. So I imagine if I took acid, I would probably lose my fucking mind. Oh, yeah, then you would. I need to do a full spirit quest.

I want to do one of those things. I'm just in the answer. I want to go do ayahuasca and shit like that. I want to go do that shit. At some point, I do. I was going to drink myself into an early grave. No, dude. Don't do like your ancestors.

Try to fucking go beyond that, dude. But the I Alaska stuff is always funny, though, because somebody will do ayahuasca and they'll be like, I changed. And then like a year later, they're like, I got to do it again. Yeah, no, totally, man. No, no. I want to go do it and check it out.

I do that. Yeah, I want to do it right too. I know some people that went to like, you know, South America and shit. I got it done. I have to say adding that extra element, though, it's got to be fucking freaky. What, going to another country? Go into, like, a fucking other country. Yeah, because, if I was a scam artist, I would say,

this is a ayahuasca climac. Exactly. And they just have roofies in there. Just rob them. So, why wouldn't you? A bunch of dumb women from, like, L.A. They're like, I know. I think, yeah, exactly.

It's like, welcome to Coachella, bitch. You know what I mean? I totally get it. I would, if he robbed me, I'd be like, all right, that's the kind of upbringing that I had. Apparently, that's the thing where they'll get raped at a lot of those. Because there's like, there's some shaman, and they're like, oh, he's spiritual. And he's like, get over you. Yeah, exactly.

I had to pick it in my dick in you as part of the process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is healing. This is healing. This is healing. Okay, I'm just peeing inside you. Exactly. Excuse me, I gotta go come.

I still love that, too. And I'm not the, by the way, I've talked to the other people, I'm not the first guy to, I thought you peed inside of them. Oh, you did too? Yeah, I've done a confused, with pee or anything, but yeah, I think I was talking about it. There was this cool guy I knew.

I'm just repeating last podcast. It was different, it was Patty's podcast, but. Patty DeFino's a podcast. I was cool friend who had a half pipe in his backyard, and his mom had, like, purple hair and, like, huge boobs that worked at, like, the local radio station. No way. That is, okay, for your little, like, 13-year-old wiener.

He's the coolest guy. He's the coolest guy, but he's talking about it. He's like, yeah, dude, he's like, I was like, you pee in inside the vagina. He's like, duh. He's putting him fucking stupid. He's like, howl's, you get the sperm inside there. You got a piss in her. And I was like, oh, I guess so.

I don't know, this guy's got a half pipe and an attractive mom. I assume he knows everything. You know, by that deductive reasoning, I get it. Yeah, and he was what I told me, and I'm like, he can't be wrong. Gage. A guy named Gage, can't be wrong. I think, like, fourth or fifth grade, I started, like, just humping my bed or whatever, and I would have an orgasm, no come.

And I thought that was masturbation. You're not in orgasm, but no cum. No, it was way bad. It felt better because your whole body didn't know what's going on. I turned to Jimmy Neutron, but. You got a blast. But then some kid in fifth grade in the lunge room. He's like, got, take your gooch, and you did it.

He was like, you ever jerk off? I'm like, yeah. He was like, do you? And then he took a hot dog. He's like, you go like this. And he showed me that I went home and jerked off for the first time. It was amazing. No shit.

Yeah, mine was a barn the first time. I thought it was a hair salon. I've said, by the way, listeners, I'm sorry for the lie. I thought it was a hair salon. That was second time. First time was in a barn. Oh, yeah. In Tennessee.

Oh, in Tennessee? Yeah, yeah. But we're running out of time. I like dropping out of time. I like, we got it. Wait a minute. You're in Tennessee with the sheep or something? What happened?

No, no, no, no. Somebody just explained to me what jerking off was. And then I went in the barn. And I was peeing and I was like, oh, I'm kind of harmed. Then I, yeah. But I did wrong. I'd spit on it. I would use my fingers and wipe one side like I was cleaning something.

And then it just wouldn't really work. For years, I could only use, I was two fingers and a thumb. That's like what it was. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I went to the hair salon because the woman was like, you know,

there's like a grown woman touching your hair. and I'm like, all right, I got to go do it for real. And then, like, I went into the hair salon bathroom and did it. I was like, yeah. How long did it take? Like, two minutes. Oh, really? Yeah, but it leaves no mess.

Yeah, and then the shame came involved. Then I was like, this is awesome. This is so cool. And then somebody's like, you know, you go to hell if you do that. Yeah. What do you believe these people? I don't know, because he was my friend. Oh, was he your boy?

Yeah, yeah. And he had abs. I thought he knew what was up. You're engaged of people. A little thing like that. He's got abs. He, I don't know, he's in the military now. So in my mind, I was like, this guy's an authority.

His dad was in the military, too. So I was like, this is a smart man. I was like, he knows. Oh, my God, dude. Well, that's interesting. He's defending this country for God. So God has given him this information. I was scared too.

I refused to jerk off on Christmas. That was like my rule. Christmas Eve and Christmas is like no jerking off ever. And any time I did, I would pray. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jesus. I had, um, in his talking.

Have you ever, you guys probably never had a friend that you thought maybe was sexually molested when you got older than you think back on them? Yeah, absolutely. All my friends. We were just such drug addict piece of shit that I'm like, you think all of you? Probably not, but in my head, I'm like, I look at them and I'm like, oh. I don't know. I could be completely wrong, but it's like, do you ever? I feel like a lot of my friends are just so fucked up.

I'm like. I knew when I was in elementary school in Jersey and I'd go hang out with her. I can't, I still can hear it. I could still see the name in her name. and I used to go to her house and there was a neighbor that she would go over there a lot and we went over there one time

and we were playing like if we were doing snowball fights and shit and he took a bunch of snow and he put it down my pants and he grabbed my clit. Yeah, dude. Yeah. And I was like, oh, wow, what's that?

And that's the first time I've had a fuzzy feeling. I was like, wow, what's that? And then thinking back on it, now I think I told my mom I was like, don't go back there again. I'm like, all right. And then like, thinking back on it now,

I'm like, that chick definitely was fucking, getting sexually. She's either dead now. I keep on wondering. Like, I don't want to, it's like, I don't want to go find her. You know what I mean? Like, what's the point of me going to find her? Like, I wouldn't ask her, but I'm like, wondering, does she still exist? What is she, what happened to her? Probably still put in snow down her pants. Well, probably putting snow down her pants. You had to do it. I was getting so sad. Why are you getting sad there? I was just wondering. It's sad. It's very sad.

She's got a snow cone cart now. She's like, put it down your pants. It's fucking great. Trust me. But it's just like, so I think, though, the difference between men and chicks, like a lot of us, I think us chicks, a lot of us find our sexual awakening. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. And you guys find it like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, uh, humping random things. But I also, I know a lot of dudes

have been molested. By the way, that's why I love Kevin Gates. Not because he's molested. I love his honesty. Have you seen any of interviews to Kevin Gates? No, I don't know who that is. He's his rabber. He's like, hell yeah, I was molested. What the fuck is it? I'm adding that extra part. But he talks about drinking women's piss. He's like, yeah, I drink a bitch's piss. Who is this person?

He goes, all my diamond. because they're really... He's a great rapper. I love Kevin Gates. But he's just so open now about everything. I have no idea. There's an interview where he's like,

my brother's got a huge fucking dick. Like, he just said shit. He says shit that like especially a black guy would get in trouble for saying with people that think that stuff's cool. But he's off the rails and it's awesome. Well, you kind of need that actually. For sure.

And the other fucking guy who's good too. Little Nas X, right? Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah. I like the rap culture. He spices it up. He does.

Because especially with the rap culture. My favorite is little Noss is. Twitter picture, it's Jimmy Neutron and the background is Info Wars. So it's like Jimmy Neutron adds an old joke. And I'm like, this guy rules. He is funny. He's awesome. And guess what? Hey, is it Sam Smith? Is it the fatter one? Take note. Lil Moss X is art.

Yeah. Sam Smith? The white guy. Yeah. The white. White bay. Oh, he's a they now? Oh. Because he weighs so much as two people. Wait, did he get fat? There's no way I coined that. I made that joke the other day. There's no way I coined that. Oh yeah, he blew up.

Oh, he blew up? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. I didn't know that. I have no problem. Does he still have that unic voice? Like, you know, like a eunuch? It's still pretty high, yeah.

Is that him? Yeah, that's him. Yeah, that's him. See, I like what he's doing because it's very funny when he's... A little Naz-X and him, beefing? No, I just like... I don't know. I like taking which gay guy I like more.

Okay, because that's all everybody is doing. You like Little Naz X more. No, yeah. Well, because it's like, it's really. funny because I didn't know he got fat. I do love people pissing off lame. I actually screenshot at a picture

recently. I was going to send it to you guys. I do love people getting pissed off when like a gay or a they person. Oh my God, he got fat! I wanted to say he was dude he got fat. He got that. Cultural appropriation of little people because of the string on his arms.

Yeah, it does. It looks like Looks like a cabbage patch doll, dude. That's fucked up, man. It looks like a, yeah, seriously, it looks like those, like, those cabbage patch balls. Garbage patch dolls.

The garbage pale kid. That's what he looks like. Jesus. My thing, too, is like, I do love. Yeah, Lil Nas is hotter. Yeah, I do love, like, Lil Nas. Oh, shit, we got to go. It's 950.

Okay, I'll wrap it up right now. Okay. I do love Lil Nas and Sam Smith pissing off people. They're like, look at them doing devil stuff. I'm like, that's hilarious. Sam Smith is not dead, but Little Nas is.

better at it. Yeah, because both of them do it. But what I do hate is them thinking they're edgy for it. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, I like like people doing that because it's funny to watch people get pissed off about something that's fun and artistic. But it is annoying when some of those people are like, look at them just pressing the boundaries. Well,

little nods did, dude. Let's be real here. He did. He did a whole fucking rap video of gay dance, of gay dudes dancing in a shower and then fucking the devil. And then he's like, and then he also like fuck the devil. Like, I mean, he fucks with Especially with Black America. Like that is like...

That is true. Sam Smith, no. I mean, you're blinding, British, fat, white. You're fine, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a unique voice. Like, stop. You know, you're not doing that.

Little Nas... They need to push it for. They need to go G.G. Allen, though. I want to see Lil Nas take a shit on stage. I support all... I support that performance art shit. I love it. It's cool.

I hate G. You should check out the 70s shit. With Patty Smith and all those guys, they used to do shit like that. Is it like G. Is it like G. G. Is it like G.

G. G. Gigi Allen shot on stage. You can fight people. You throw shit people. Oh, the pod. Yes, yes, yes. That's why I get bummed out by Sam Smith because I'm like, I hate when you see, it's

like when you see somebody do something and not go far enough. Does that make sense? You want like Iggy Pop fucking on crack. Yeah, I got you, dude. Right. So that's why I don't like it, not because of what it is. I like it because it's not going to do it, do it. Correct.

All right. I feel you. And that's our podcast. All right. What do you guys want to promote? Follow me on Instagram, J-Love Comedy. Instagram, Levi-the-White. Go to Tough Love Comedy.

Yeah. Third Wednesdays at the Comedy Shop. Hell yeah. Michael Good Comedy's, my Instagram and YouTube. YouTube episodes hopefully come out late Sunday, but most of the time Monday. So be ready Monday on YouTube,

but Spotify and Apple that come out every Sunday. It takes longer. Bye.