Morning Good - Didgeridoo?? Right On - Episode 32

Episode Date: July 4, 2021

Thanks Matt and Levi for coming on the show and being hilarious people. Make sure to check them out on their socials to see what they have coming up. Matt has a podcast on all platforms called Youth Group and you can find him on Instagram and Twitter @battmowman. Levi White is on Instagram @levithewhite. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Yeah, I was going to actually, part of me wanted just to have an intro of just like sex noises very loud. Just like, ah, because then when people like just listen to it, they just turn it on, they're like confused for a second. it's like that thing on tick where you play the porn hub and then you look at somebody like, whoa shit, my phone! But it's your, just, you're listening

in a morning, would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been watching porn like it's like a medication recently. Every morning. Every morning and with my vitamins. Yeah, yeah. Well, I do in the morning because if you come on your stomach,

you have to get out of bed. That's like the only, like, motivation, which is kind of the sad thing, but yeah. We got to do all different. I mean, it's like taking a thing of pills, So you got all different kinds. You get the lesbian porn. You get the double penny.

It's just everything. Just a nice... I think at the beginning of the day, I used to do this thing where I jerk off something like kind of wild. And then I'll be like, let me watch a normal porn afterwards just to chill myself. Just like I'm not like a psychopath. Right.

Right. Oh, look, they kind of pretend that they like each other in this one. Yeah. My favorite is I have some gay friends. And they said what they would do is they jerk off to gay porn, but then they'd come to straight porn when they were first in the closet. And they'd be like, yo, I'm not a gay. It's just like an appetizer.

Yeah, yeah. This is the main course right here. That's an interesting thing, though, because, like, every episode, it's going to sound like I want to fuck dudes, but, like, the thing is like a little bit. I mean, certain ones, sure, depending on what they can do for me. Right. But it's so weird, though, because, like, gay guys, it's weird to think about it. Like, gay guys have gotten hard and fucked girls. So, like, in the same way.

True. But it's nobody, like, if a gay guy fucks a girl and he's gay, everybody's like, oh, he's gay. Like, that's just, that's what it is. But if a straight guy fucks one dude, there's no. no way anybody believes that he's not secretly by. Yeah. You're not coming back from. Secretly buy.

They just think he's secretly gay fully. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even by. No, no, no. Like, no, dude, you're just gay, man. Yeah, if you've banged a dude unless you admit your buy, then they think you're gay. Because I think people believe that some guys are by.

They're like, yeah, yeah. But they're like, not if you fuck people. It's coming around now. I think people are starting to jump on board that, you know. But I think, like, if you fucked one dude specifically, then they just think you're secretly. It's amazing. Because then if you fucked like 10 dudes and then you fuck girls and you're like,

I'm by, they'd be like, oh, he's by. But if you fucked one dude secretly and then told everybody about it and then fucked mostly girls, they'd be like, no, he's secretly gay. Yeah, he can't get back. Yeah. What if it's the same dude over and over? Like, you keep going back to one guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Then you're just, yeah, then it's even more gay. Yeah. You only fuck Steve? Oh, man. Yeah. Did you guys do anything for pride? I had to bark.

Oh, nice. I had to bark for a con. You barked at gay people? Yeah. Is that a hate crime? Yeah. Just run DMC. DMX just the whole time. Yeah, and if you don't know what barking is, like you stand on a street

corner and say, hey, I've got a comedy show. And so I had to do that in Greenwich Village, which is like the center of the gay universe, it feels like at times. So it was, I likened it to like if I went to a birthday party and say, hey, does anybody want to go to Home Depot right now? Like nobody was interested, you know, at all. So that sucked. I hated that. They weren't about it. No. I was sick and I just kind of try to drink through it. Inside or like out? I started drinking through pride. I was like, I'll get through this. They're celebrating. It's a tough day. How are you doing? Another pride.

Oh, God. That's going to be the hardest day for like a closeted guy. Because he's just like, let me just avoid gay thoughts. It's like, honey, I'm just going to the park. Which one? Doesn't matter. Oh, the parades right next to that one? Oh, that's weird. Dude. Yeah. That would have coincidence.

I got some pictures, just want to be out there, you know, show the support. I was thinking more of the other side, like the guy who's lying to himself. Yeah. And he's like just trying to suppress the gay thoughts. Right. Everywhere he looks is just rainbows and. Yeah. It's taking money out of the ATM.

It's like, here's your gay money. Yeah. You're gay money. Dude, one of the things, did you see, like, obviously there was like a bunch of shirts that just like companies had, but did you see like some of the really shitty homemade ones? No. Those, like, I saw one. Which had cumstands on.

A little blood in it It's just like Ooh, that's not good But I saw a couple There was one That was just like a white wife beater And then in red It just said slut

It looks like you just escaped From something Yeah It was like a hazing process Like you pledging a frat Like what's happening right now That is very funny Why don't you just buy

Buy one dude or I don't know Yeah that's hilarious Yeah I saw one of the guys There was some dude protesting Which is so funny Because in that mind like he has a sign that says like fags will burn in hell. But in his mind, he's like, I did a great, like in his mind, like he thinks he's bringing people

to heaven. So in his mind, he's like, I save those games. Like it's so weird to think about that like in that guy's mind he's like a hero. Yeah. And like he doesn't think he's doing the wrong thing at all. He thinks like, that might even be an obligation for him. He's like, God damn it. I got to write fags on the sign.

I got to go out there. He's like, I don't want to do it, but I guess for God and to save these people, I'll do it. Right. It's like when you like, fuck, I just want to stay home and play video games, but I got to go do a set or something. It's just like, oh, fine, I guess. Okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I can't think of anything gayer than making signs, though.

Yeah, he's very gay. You got to buy art supplies. It's like, you know what markers work. Right. You got glitter, like, the whole thing. I saw it. Maybe it was the same guy or maybe a different guy, but there was a guy who I saw on somebody's story

that said, like, God hates fags and whores. Yeah, that was it. And it was just like, how did whores get roped into this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's nothing to do with... No, that's totally different things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the same sign, same guy, yeah.

Or maybe he's a different guy, I don't know. Like, all right, I mean, I guess, but that seems different. You know, it's got to be so funny, too. That's like a personal thing. Yeah, that's just, yeah, he's mad at an ex-wife. For sure. But the sign is, like, a laminated thing, which is so funny, because that guy probably has to go to, like, staples or something again.

He's a fucking kinkgo's. He's like, yep, just here again. And he writes, like, burn, like, hell and, like, flaming, It's just so funny that he has to do all of that and print that off. They've got a complicated relationship with him because he's a repeat customer. He's great. We get a lot of money from him, but we don't support the cost.

We're actually taking money away from him. So he has less money now. So we're doing a good thing. We at FedEx thing. They don't print things, but, you know. I think that's a prank video I want to do. I want to go to like a Staples and just have like, just print out like 400, just pictures of me and like a thong.

But be dressed in like a business suit, like, oh, excuse me, sorry. Just like super like, sorry, this is for work. I just have files. Like, say, like, January 1st through 37th or 30th or 30th or something like that. And they just have like each. Be very organized about just pictures of me. That's like that episode of Seinfeld where George, uh, he like takes those like risque, like the pictures of him like laying out on that couch.

Oh, yeah. And he's got to go get him developed. Yeah, yeah. But then he, I think like he thinks that like the developer is like into it or something. Like he left him a note or something. but yeah, that's very funny. Yeah. I have all these prank ideas

and I'm just never gonna do. You're like, man, this would be sick. I'm just gonna think in my mind about how awesome it would be. But they're also hard to film. Like, I think it's gonna be funny and that people just react normally. Right.

Okay. Yeah, I wonder how... They just don't give a shit. Yeah. Like, how much B-roll is from, like, for a two-minute little prank video, how much B-roll do they have of people just being like,

hey, cool, man. Sorry. Yeah. You know, they probably got 50 of those for every two people. Especially, like, you'd have to go, like, to somewhere outside of the city.

The amount of weird shit we say. People are very normal seeing crazy things here. I saw a homeless woman strip butt naked on the L train the other day. And then like fake punch somebody

and then that was just like wow, you can do whatever you want lady. Oh yeah, yeah. So totally like vaj and everything? Yeah, dude. But like she had like a thick like stomach that was like hanging down.

So it covered the vagina. That's a thing sometimes. It covered that that upper puss area. Yeah, she's like technically I'm not naked. You can't see my vagina. my stomach is covering it. This would be okay on television.

Her top, sometimes that's a thing too where the top boob gets so saggy that you can't see the nipple because of the pot of holes, man. They're just, it's just like a piece of fucking

hanging fruit almost. It's just somehow not indecent exposure because the vagina hole and the nipples are covered. She's like, cop show up. I can't do anything with this one. If she,

like, leans back, then we've got a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great. Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, there's a lot going on. So the,

I don't even care. I do want to go to some of that but like this is a question that I asked my girlfriend Do you want to see other people? Can we bring in a third? How about this thing? No. No, but because people are so accustomed in the city

to seeing just absolutely bad shit crazy stuff, social experiment, if you were with your girlfriend in Sheep Meadow and you started full on having sex, how long until somebody comes over and tries to stop you? It depends. Is she yelling for help? No, this is totally, totally consensual.

This is not a rape anything. This is a fully consensual thing. Yeah, okay. Let me think. I would guess, I don't think anybody would actually come to you. I think the police would, like somebody would go to the police. So I think that would probably take. And then they would have to come over and be like, yeah.

15 minutes or so. Yeah, I mean, you could be done. You know what I mean? Done multiple times. Yeah. 10 minutes if you're interracial. Right. Yeah, they have more problem with, I guess.

Right. What if they're like, hey, this is not okay. Okay. That's a white couple fucking right next to. There we go. Continue on. They show up to the white couple and they're like, call us when there's a problem.

That's not good. But yeah, because like I've seen people like full on laying on top of each other making out in the park. And I'm like, I'm not full, but like I'm not going to go over and tell them to stop. So like I wonder if there's a point where people will go,

okay, that's too much. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I, um, yeah, I've been on a train when somebody's getting their dick sucked. Um, Do you think it was homeless? No, no, no, no.

Oh, see, okay. Because that's the other thing. Because, like, homeless people, they can do whatever they want, obviously. Yeah, it's such an annoying, like, in between. So it's like, if you're a homeless guy, you could smoke crack, but if you're a regular guy, you can't smoke a cigarette on the, like, it's like, you're in that weird level. That's why I always wonder, like, if I'm doing some sketchy, like, should I just

dress a little shitty? You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah, I don't know. It's one guy on the train, like, at the start of the pandemic. I was going to work, and he just lit up a cigarette and everyone's so mad, and I was actually

comforted by it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, I haven't, like, smelled a cigarette in a close space in such a long time. Oh, yeah, yeah, and you're like, I thought, here I was thinking I'm on a train full of pussy. Yeah, I realize there's some cool guys on you. She's like, what stop you getting off at? You want to hang out later?

Like, let's do this. Yeah, that's good. That's the way to do it. I, um, we'll get into the news. So I didn't even talk about last week, the John McAfee thing. Do you guys have any thoughts on that? I think it's so weird because he got or he killed himself, but he like posted on Twitter like in October.

He goes, if I die, it's definitely not a suicide. I was Epstein killed. Yeah, one of his tweets said that. He's like, I'm totally happy here in jail. So if I die, it's definitely not suicide. And then he got a tattoo that said swacked before that. And he goes, I think it was right after Epstein was murdered. He's like, they might come for me.

This is on my body to let you guys know I'm not killing myself. If I die anytime soon, I was murdered. murdered. Is the guy also just admitting that he's a pedophile, though? Like by saying they're going to Epstein made. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop referencing. All of my people get fucking oppressed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, I must have, so this is the same guy that this is like the antivirus, like computer software guy. So, like, what was his, what was his deal? I must have missed that. So he totally evaded taxes, but he was like 100, I think he's worth a hundred million dollars, like almost a billionaire. I mean, I guess it's not even, almost.

So he was doing like some white collar crime shit. Yeah, but like, I think he says, he was like involved in stuff too and he says he like because he was such like a multi-millionaire like he was involved in some circles so he like really knew what was going on sure um it was weird too because he also i'm pretty sure that he posted a cue i'm not into cueing on because i think it's crazy but right he posted a cue some of it's good after he died like after he was pronounced dead his twitter did a cue but somebody could have hacked him i guess sure the october thing they have a scheduled post i guess yeah or what could have happened was the people who killed them could have been like

let's put QAnon stuff on his thing. Right. Just to fully... Yeah. Which kind of a genius move. They're like, oh, yes. We'll just say he's a QAnon guy. So he was somehow like secondarily exposed to all of that crazy shit.

And then it's like, hey, I kind of know something and I'm going to get killed for it. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I'll buy it. Yeah, I think it's fun. Yeah. It's a fun idea. That's something, I don't know why we haven't protested the Epstein stuff yet.

Like, this happened in New York City. There hasn't been a single fucking This guy literally was murdered in jail. Like 30 blocks north of here. Say his name. It's hard. The optics are kind of difficult on that one. That would be really fun.

You want to talk about a prank video. Just show up. Just like four white dudes. Just like say his name. Jeff. Jeff. That would be. That would be something.

Oh, boy. But you could like, but that's just so crazy. Like nobody even fucking Cuomo. you know, de Blas, what happened there? We don't even if I can ask those people those questions. I know every other podcast in the world is talking about Epstein, but I just think it's like wild that like, my thing too with it is I think like, if he would have said,

if he would have been one of those guys where they were like, oh, we don't want to show you the footage of him killing himself, then I'd be totally acceptable. But then to say the camera was broken is crazy. That's like lame. Yeah, yeah. Literally like just say, like why wouldn't you not say, oh, we don't want to show that footage?

The same thing with like Bin Laden where they weren't originally going to show his picture dead. Like, you could just say, like, no, we don't want to show this. But then to be like, oh, the camera was broken that day is like, on a federal event, like, that's crazy. Right. On the guy who is the biggest, not suspect, but, like, the biggest witness in, like, one of the craziest cases.

Like, he's getting ready to talk, you know? And then it's just like, it's so, I mean, unfortunately, like, that was, I think, what was the biggest feeder for all, like, all of the QAnon shit. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because, like, before that, it's like, oh, there's a bunch of pedophiles running the universe. Fuck off. But then, like, he was just like, oh.

oh, that stuff's kind of true a little bit. And so then everybody's like, I told you. Yeah, yeah. So now it's crazy. That was the best I told you so moment because I used to do so much Adderall. I've talked about this a lot,

but I used to do so much Adderall in college and just go in these deep Reddit things like six years ago. And I'd be like, dude, this guy's got a fucking island, bro. And Epstein's going, or Clinton's going there and they're fucking kids on the island. Right. And everybody was just like, you're so out of your mind. Yeah.

And then it all happened. I was like, yeah. Yeah. I was so excited. Yeah. It's fun to be excited that kids getting fucked on island. I know it's true.

Yeah. I called it. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. What a wild. My favorite Mac if you think, though, is he did somebody's podcast. While he was in jail?

No, before, like, right before, like, a year ago. It was like, I think it was Shane Gillis' podcast. And they asked him, because I guess in the documentary, he, like, had this thing where he likes to, you know this? Yeah, girls would sit in. a hammock and they cut a hole in it, they just diarrhea all over him. Oh, wait, on him? Yeah. Because I've heard of people doing it like on top, like be under a glass table and then they do,

but oh, whoa, okay. Yeah, but it's somebody because they asked him that and he goes, that's the most childish question of all. He's like, seriously, you think that's a big deal getting shot on? He's like, he's basically that's the most immature. Listen, I've done weird stuff too, but like I definitely never been shat on. That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know how I would broach that conversation. Yeah, I think when you're remote, you probably get so boy.

When you're into it, I think you're very not shy. That's true. Just shit on me, will it? Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, I doubt he came

out of the gate with that one. That was several experiences of a buildup. I'm afraid to tell my girlfriend to wear a thong. This guy's just like shit in my mouth, okay? But also do the prep. Like, you've got to like eat Taco Bell

three hours beforehand so that you can really let it go. Yeah, this is in South America. They were already diaries. Constantly. That's just to have a drink of water. Then you're good to go. Run it through. Yeah.

But, no, that's the crazy news. And then the, didn't that 9-11 dude die? What's his name? Ooh. Wasn't one of the people? Didn't they all die on that day? Yeah. I feel like there's nobody left on those guys.

That's DB Cooper thing. DB. That's the newest conspiracy. It's not chem trails. It's just like, if you look closely, there's a man that jumps out the back of the plane right before him. Yeah. What was it, though?

No, the Donald Rumsfeld. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like the orchestrator of the Iraq War. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The orchestra. I love that. I think of like a... He's got the crazy tuxedo pant with like the fucking tassel things at the back of it. Yeah, yeah. Who's the guy, because he died, but then there's a guy who's been alive forever that still isn't.

dead. He was like Nixon's guy. Fucking God damn it. I hate when I bring this up and I don't remember people's names. Fuck. Okay. Talk about Donald Rumsfeld for a second. I don't know anything about the guy. I just know he was somehow. My mom said he was the

Antichrist. Like she truly believed he was the Antichrist. Was she your mom conservative or liberal? She's pretty conservative. Yeah, yeah. But she still was like this guy. Yeah. Well, there were a lot of conservatives that still were against like the Iraq war because they were like why are we getting involved? There's like a weird, like, libertarian side of conservatives. Not weird, but you

don't know what I mean? Like there's somewhat of a like, why are we getting involved in other people's shit, yeah. Right. Yeah, because they got we got to run the gamut of like, I love the military, but not everything that like the military does. I think that's the two things. Henry Kissinger was the guy who I was

thinking of and he's still alive. He's 98. He was like more like Henry Kissing dude. Day! Yeah. Brimmyard. Got him, dude. fucking yeah.

Yeah. This is fucking sick. Fucking burned him. 98 years old. 98. My grandma just turned 88. Dude, fucking Betty White. She looks 98.

Betty White's 99. And she turns 100 at the beginning of next year. I hope she dies before 100. I really do. I fucking hate the whole I've always hated the whole Betty White thing. Everyone's sucking her dick. I don't get it.

I do not understand it. It's been happening. Yeah, she's just an old person that people are just like, yeah. She's so funny. She hasn't done anything really since like Golden Girls. Really? I mean, she'll be an occasional.

Did she really? Yeah. Fuck, I'm out of the loop. You know what's really funny? Old people with dementia. That's comedy. Shoot your pants.

Yell about shit. It's unrelated. That's a real funny old lady. Not an old lady who's just like, I like cookies. You know. It's like, it's always like she's a national treasure.

Protect her at all costs. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. I would like, she's going to get Epsteined. Yeah, hopefully. We're going to find out, that's, like, never a thing, though. You never find, like, an old, like, rich lady who's just banging shit dudes,

like little, like, teenage boys? Yeah. That's when I would like her. Like, if she was just absolutely crushing, like, let's just say 18-year-old dead. There we go. You know, if she was doing that and, like, going out. But we know what you mean. No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, but, you know, you know. Like, he has an 18-year-old's dick. But slightly creepy, too. Like, she's kind of sexually harassing, like, a little bit. There's, like, concerns about stuff. But, like, not, like, Yeah, just on the border of what's acceptable, but not really acceptable. Yeah.

Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, even it... I want Betty White to be rapist. Yeah. I mean, if she was a... If she was banging a 50-year-old, that's still a third... That's almost a 40-year age difference. Yeah, that's wild. I wonder if she, like, knows some shit.

I don't know. Yeah, well, because she's, like, part of, like, old Hollywood. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, 40s, 40s, 40s, but, yeah, I guess also that... Yeah, I mean, sexually old Hollywood, they were... I mean, they passed around Marilyn Monroe. Like, she was a fucking sharkoutry. board.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy. I like that expression. Yeah, dude. I don't know. Dude, you ever just like, I'm just like, hear the words and there they go.

Yeah, that was fucking solid. Yeah. Yeah, that's weird to think about. I wonder if she were banged Walt Disney. I don't know. Was he, was he Jewish? I don't know.

I've heard rumors. Anti-Semitic is also such a weird word because that would mean you also have an issue with Arab people. So it's weird on people say that like when they talk about Israel, Palestine, and they say, anti-Semitic because Semites are people from like the Middle East.

Oh really? I don't think anyone is applying it to Arab people though. Yeah, they call them something else. And usually if someone is like doesn't like Jews, they're not going to like Arabs either. Besides Arabs. Or super hardcore Jews. Or super hardcore Jews. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be funny to be like, I'm super pro-Jew, but hate the Arabs or the other way around. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that's a weird term. We don't have enough terms for races. Like it doesn't make, it's all confusing. The Asian thing is so confusing to me. Right.

Where, like, Indian people are Asian. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't learn that until like last year. I've, yeah. I know it's part of Asia, but then so is, isn't, is Russia technically part of Asia too? Russia's technical, I mean, especially, well, some people only live in like a tiny sliver of Russia. And most of it's like on the west, like over by like Poland, Ukraine, like Moscow area. But yeah, I mean, technically it is part of it.

I mean, it's the whole top part of Asia. Is Russia and Asia or Europe? The left half of Russia is in Europe, and the right part is in Asia. Yeah, so you could be a Russian person and be like, I'm Asian. Yeah. Well, like, I watch a lot of British shows, and I've noticed they... I don't know why that would be like... It's like a guy that looks just as pale as me.

Like, stop Asian hate guys. This directly affects me. What's your last name? Russia Shefsky. What? Okay. The continent thing is so crazy when it comes to racist because, like, there's nothing... Like, that's not similar.

You know what I mean? It's like, just because you're in the same continent doesn't mean you're the same. Like, Indian and Asian people are. I think it's so different. Oh, it's completely different. But yeah, like, I watch a lot of British shows, and they call, like, what we would say, like, Middle Eastern, they call them Asian. They were, like, the suspect's Asian, and they show a picture of, like, an Arab dude. And I was like, that just doesn't make any sense to me.

Like, I'm not trying to, like, be inappropriate, but, like, that just is, that's not what that is to me. Yeah, yeah, that is weird. That's very confusing to me. I don't like it. I don't like things that don't make sense. Yeah. It ties in with, like, entertainment as well. Like, when we were growing up, like, Asian.

movies were all from China or Korea or Japan, you know, and then it was just, and then Bollywood. Right. Yeah, yeah. That's totally different. Yeah, of course. Yeah, no, that's India. Yeah, yeah, because, yeah, exactly. It's Asia. Yeah, it's technically, yeah, but it's like, I don't know, when you comes to like talking about race, it's just weird then, because it's like then Russians or Asian, like that's too. Right. It's big, um, actually

energy. Um, yeah. Okay. I get it. I'm just trying to learn guys. Right. Yeah. So, God damn it. I hate being a podcast that has to talk about Bill Cosby.

Oh. Yeah. Did you read anything about it? I already raped somebody. What? It happened a few times. I'm just hearing about this. Yeah, yeah.

No, but I get, like, I tried to, I only briefly, like, we were hiking all day yesterday, so I missed the whole thing, but it looked like, it had something to do with, like, a technicality, basically, was how we got off.

and there was like some court in Pennsylvania overturned it. But I don't know exactly. It was just like, it seemed pretty not egregious. It was just like a small thing that they were. Raping people's not egregious? Matt Bowman on record. No, yeah, yeah. It was like a weird technicality thing.

Like, ah, you said this. Right. It wasn't like a weird promise thing? Like, I think his deposition leaked. And maybe he perjured himself in the deposition. so they weren't allowed to use it, but they did it or something fucking weird shit. I don't know.

But like, I just heard a few of those words and I was like, okay, that must have been what happened. Some legal bullshit. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he was out in like the same day. It was crazy how fast. He's like in his house now. He's already out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he's like literally, they're taking videos of him in his house and he just, he looks like he has no idea what the fuck is going. He's going to die in like a week. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I thought he was going to, there was a bunch of shit about how he was going to, like, get COVID and die, like, in prison. Weinstein got fucking COVID in president. He fucking survived it. Yeah. I mean, that, I mean, that's... Where's his freedom?

Right. Come on. Free say his name is Harvey. No. I believe in Harvey. I believe. I believe in Harvey West. And he's got my support for his candidacy next year.

For the mayor of New York City. I, uh, I made like a meme like that. It was like just like that toast that brings. as Wayne does where he's like, I believe in Harvey, and it just cuts to Harvey White. Like, his face is like pasted on Harvey Dance. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. What was it?

I'm talking about Bill Cosby and Jr. Yeah, he is, I guess he's only 83, but he looks really rough. He looks bad. Like, one of those dudes that just, like, once you get passive threshold, just like, I'm not cared about anything anymore. I don't care about what's happening to me in any regard. Yeah. That's the crazy thing, too, is like, I remember, I didn't realize until today, yesterday,

how many people I know on Facebook you think he's 100% innocent. Oh yeah. Like there are a lot of people that think he's like totally. My favorite was one time there's this local radio station I saw they posted like,

happy birthday Bill Cosby or something like that. Everybody's like, he's innocent. Somebody's like, I went to high school with those girls. They were always crazy. And I go, I went to high school with Bill Cosby and he never raped anybody while I was there.

And I just started, they liked my stuff. I'm like, we used to always have long talks about consent every day. And my profile, I'm fucking 24 years. There's no way. But people were just liking it. They're like, absolutely, man. You went to high school with them.

And you never talked about rape there. So he must not be raping. Right. But I heard he was like a fucking psychopath. Like I had to hear this weird thing where he would have like the whole camera crew. This is like watch him eat like his like lunch. But I guess it's not as crazy as raping 80 women. But he did have like that like a weird like I'm better than you power.

Yeah. Especially with like young. Medians. Yeah. Especially young black comics. Yeah. Like there's stories about him fucking with Eddie Murphy or like even like him and Pryor had beef as well.

Yeah, yeah. He would like tell them like how to act and stuff like that. Which is insane. Yeah, yeah, it's wild. Yeah, and that's the thing that's the most important thing is don't tell somebody how to do their act. Yeah, exactly. That is the biggest crime.

I think we can all agree. You know your jokes. Yeah, yeah. Be confident to yourself. Yeah. But do you think he was like beefing with guys in prison though? I don't know. Like telling them to pull up their pants and shit.

It would have been so funny. he like tried to crack a joke to like, because it's so funny, people always joke around. They're like, yeah, there's always those people that are like, I grew up in a rough neighborhood, but jokes was the way I'd get out of trouble.

Right. And it'd be so funny. If he's like, surrender, Wizz! And it just gets socked in the face. Like, that didn't work.

I'll tell you guys the one about the guy. He falls in with the Latin Kings. And he's like, that's what's up. Yeah. You guys don't fuck me. Derek Chauvin definitely immediately found a crew. Oh, yeah.

He's like, he's good. He's good. King white supremap. Like, they probably immediately were like, What's that one? The Aryan nation? Brotherhood. Yeah. By the way, I've been curious. Have you checked like the websites of some of these groups? No, I don't want to be on a list.

So the American Nazi party apparently is very against factory farming and therefore like clean, renewable. I mean, obviously there are lots of other stuff. Sure. But yeah, they're like, their whole thing is so funny. I was like, because I was writing a bit about them and this is like one of the wildest things I've read. They're like beyond Nazis. Yeah. Impossible Nazis.

I can't believe it's not a Nazi. We recognize the importance of family and the farming community. Yeah, yeah. We don't engage in animal cruelty or any overuse of antibiotics in hormones. Like all this weird stuff. Wow. Damn. Well, I bet, I mean, I bet all of their, I would assume, a majority of their membership, rural America,

who are probably independent farmers who are just tired of getting fucked by wall. the Walmarts of the world or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's just interesting that, like, they're, like, they want, like, clean, renewable energy. And I'm like, this is weird that, like, in a way, this lines up more with liberals than conservative. Like, in that weird way.

Right, right. Like, I was talking about, buddy. I'm like, if you just, like, replace the word Aryan and white race with, like, progress or something like that, like, it could totally fit in. Yeah, for sure. And then I checked the Klan's website, which was hilarious, too, because they, like, had the least updated website, I bet. Like, it was, like, higher, like, one Asian dude.

Looks like Frank's list. Oh, my God. It was so bad. I was like the hate speech is bad, but the fucking web design is atrocious. That's a real thing. Right. Just get a wicks. It's free.

Yeah, exactly. I guess my friend of mine back in Ohio used to have a bit about how you can sign anybody up for the clans email list. You don't need to produce anything. So he would just like, if somebody ever wronged him, he was like, I would always sign him up for the clans email list. Which is great. They do background checks, which is hilarious.

I was trying to write a joke about like, that's the one time you want them to see your old tweets. They're like, this was really racially insensitive. That's what we're looking for here. Come on in. But like, what if they did the other way?

Like, they check your Facebook. They're like, ooh, says you liked Medea's family reunion. Do you care to explain about that? It was a weekend. I was trying to hang out with my friends. It's the only thing they wanted to see. Yeah.

Like, okay. All right, get in. Yeah, I bet they had to do back because, I mean, I bet there's probably people. Are they listed as a terrorist organization? Yes and no Like it's a weird thing like I have so mixed views on that Like I think it's like a horrible group

And like people do horrible thing But there's this weird thing that once you Call something a terrorist group It's like very complicated where like I think in ways it could be harder to infiltrate Because like if it becomes a terrorist group Like if you say they can't meet Then that's tough too

Because they also have like sections Because like obviously like they've done Very terrorist thing Like they've killed so many innocent people Like this definitely happened But then there's like It's like a giant thing Where there's weird sections of it

that are definitely like really shitty people that are racist. But I think they are like, no, we don't, like, we should be allowed to meet. And I'm like, I think technically if you want to meet and not. Well, I mean, that was, that was, that's old school. Like the ACLU, like, fucking protested in favor of the clan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be able to, like, peacefully gather and whatever, which as fucked up as that is, like, you have the right under the First Amendment to do that.

Like, as long as you're not killing people or, like, doing anything like that, you're allowed to. I'm, you can, everybody can feel free to. disagree and hate them and that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they should be, yeah. Yeah, it was interesting. I got so high and watched a documentary about the other day. Like, very, like, just fascinating. Yeah. Um, like, it's so weird because like the guy, it was interesting hearing, because they asked them like, how did you get involved in this? And this one guy was like a one guy at like an all black school and he's like, I didn't have any friends. And then the white people were my friends and nobody else liked me. And these guys, because like, in their minds,

it's like they, I think what happens is like white people, we don't have a positive support. Like, you guys are going on your phone. You're like, you're talking about the clay. Let's a, no, I'm just kidding. But white people, we don't have like a positive support group and that's the only group for white people. So the ones that like get really sad go there. Yeah, that's true. I was thinking about this the other day. So like back in, because you know like, I don't know anybody personally, but there are people that are still like so racist that they're racist against like other white people that like they hate like the Irish or the Italians or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. So like back in like the early 1900s like in New York City, where the only good whites in their eyes was it just like British people? No, just Irish and it's still that way, baby. Fuck all. I guess just, but yeah, because people did not like art. People didn't like the Irish. People didn't like the Italians.

People didn't like the Jews. I mean, that hasn't changed. But I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, who was the clean race? Like the French and, but I mean, the English hated the French as well. So it's just like who was the main. Yeah, that's a colonial English.

Yeah. Probably. I feel, well, yeah. What a specific place in time that you're like, we are the best? Just like this one tiny section of the world. And you also can't argue with it at that point. Like they kicked everybody's ass so hard. That's true.

It's true. I mean, not in terms of like, morality. But, you know, like, they destroyed all comers at one point. Yeah, it's a wild thing to think about. Yeah, it was interesting, though, because, like, yeah, it was just interesting because, like, I checked their website too. And it's interesting because they had a lot of, like, they have so much misinformation on there that they're getting confused about. Because, like, there's all this stuff that says, like, BLM stands for, like, white children are the enemy, all this stuff that most people aren't for.

So they're just getting this horrible source of information. And they're being lied to by these others. So their brain is just like on a totally different. Like they think that like they're under attack. Like the same thing that like I think is going on with black people, white people think is happening to them. And that's why they started their like crazy group. That's why they like get involved in it. For sure.

Yeah. Well, I mean that's just the split of everybody only ever sees on their feed what they want to see, and so they can't get out of that. They just get in that positive feedback loop of everybody thinks like this, and if you don't think like this, you're a fucking crazy person. And that happens and each side is in a vacuum, almost. 100%. Yeah, yeah. So then you try

to be like, hey, but what about this? And they're like fuck off because they think that they're perfectly right. Yeah, exactly. It's not exactly hilarious. Yeah, it's a good. Serious tour. I don't know. It's not really working. I feel like everyone I see on, like, social media is a fucking moron.

Yeah. I don't know. Oh, yeah. And it'll be on. I all the time want to come and be, well, actually, you know. Right. And I'm like, no, this is so dumb that I would argue these people. Yeah, it's not real. Like, most of the time, anything online isn't real. Like, you would think that the world was completely on fire. And yes, there are problems, and we should definitely work hard to fix them. But, like, focusing so much on, like, people that constantly post on social media are mentally unwell. Like, they're not good people. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's, it's tough. And, uh, I don't know. Anyway, no, no, no, I agree.

If you're a lonely white kid in an all-black school, just find a lacrosse team. Yeah, exactly. Don't worry about the KKK. Join an anime group or something, you know. Yeah, that's how you bond with the black guys. Say you like Goku and shit. Yeah, and that'll fucking work for. Yeah, Naruto, all of that shit.

Yeah, they're into it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that binds us Asian culture binds black and white people and I guess some Asians. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I don't even think it's much, like, white guys anymore because usually, like, the white guys that love that stuff are a little, little off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They, like, have fedoras and multiple different colors. Fedoras or they collect knives and shit. Right, check out my snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My fair is, I knew all these hot girls in high school, they'd be like, you know, I'm going to go sit with the weird kid, and the weird kid would just not be about it. Right.

Like, this way, you'd be like, dude, no. No, no, no, no. I don't want this. Yeah, at all. He's like, you're, obviously, it's like, you're hot, but this is, yeah. Right. Unless you gagged in my basement, I don't want to have much. Don't buy me a fucking pity lunch.

I don't want to sit with you. Right. That's the shirt with the wife beater that just says slut. Like, that's what I want. Come on. Yeah. People are fucking out there. That's so crazy thing.

But it's just so funny. It's a, yeah, those kids, like, just do not. A lot of times they don't want to be interacted with it all. Yeah. Because if they do, they've got, like, their four friends and they just all talk about whatever they want to talk about. And then that's it. They don't really, they found their little crew.

you know yeah yeah yeah we didn't have like a lot of like actual bullying and it was more like kids would fight and then like uh people like the only bullying would be like people like shit talking each other in the same group like sure like i very rarely would i see like some like nerdy kid and then just some guy out of the blue would be like you fucking bitch like i would like almost never see that yeah no no that happened much no like the stuff you see do you have you seen mayor of east town it's a new show on a limited series on HBO there's one one of the families has a daughter with Down syndrome and there's a scene where she's like

walking through the cafeteria with her lunch and like people like start throwing chicken wings at her. I'm like what fucking universe would this existent? Just like what kind of school has chicken wings? That's good shit, dude. This is talking highbrow. Like can you like people can be mean and like

can bully each other. But I'm pretty sure it's a universal thing everywhere that like if there was a kid who had like special needs or Down syndrome at your school and somebody was king. Yeah, if somebody was picking on them, we beat the shit out. Yeah, yeah, that was the rule. Yeah, yeah. You fuck with that kid, we were going to kill you.

Yeah, exactly. So it's like, I don't understand this depiction of, like, high school of, like, if you have a mental disability. You are more retarded than the guy with Down syndrome. Yeah, you're like, what? Nobody thinks just like, show him. Yeah, you're like, what? How are you not grasping this? Like, that is wild that you wouldn't.

You fucking idiot. How would you not understand that? Yeah, that's crazy to me. You're more. That was good. That's more like elementary school. Like, I know in elementary school,

you know, we had the special class or whatever. And, you know, as they're walking by other kids would mock them or whatever. Sure. But I think mocking,

like, I think that's different than like, I don't know, I think it's different than a physical. A physical assault. Yeah. Yeah, but I think the mocking,

like, it's hard. Like, there's between, like, mocking somebody to their face and then, like,

joking about it. Because, like, I think you should, like, be able to joke about certain things. But I think that's different than, like, going up to a kid and then just like

harassing him. Sure. Well, it's also, it's a stupid move. Because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, what's up? It's a stupid move because they're pretty strong. Yeah, dude. They get a hold of you. They'll fuck you up, dude. Yeah, absolutely. And it's hard to get them to stop at some point. The worst is I had something the other day where somebody with like, kind of like disabled legs was walking by. And I was listening to a song and I was dancing like kind of funny.

And I didn't realize that I'm walking behind them and I'm like going like this. Everybody's looking at me like, dude, come. Like, that's not cool. And I'm just like, what? You guys having fun? And I'm like, dancing with what I can do. Yeah. It was bad too because there's also a black comic that saw me doing that.

So he thought my dancing was so bad that he thought I was mocking somebody with like messed up legs. That's hilarious. That's great. Yeah. That happens sometimes. Yeah. One time I was walking on the sidewalk and I'm a pretty fast walker. So I'm just going around people and I couldn't get around this guy.

and he just kept moving to the left and to the right. I'm like, God, fucking, I started getting mad. Yeah, I'm muttering stuff. I finally find an opening go. And I turn around just to be like, let's look at this doucheback. He was fucking blind. He had a fucking walking stick. Like, I couldn't see this stick.

Oh, my God. Damn it, I'm an asshole. Yeah. That's so funny. But that does piss me out. Like, if somebody, like, can't pick a side of the side. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's infuriating.

I'm trying to go. I started clapping in people's faces if they're about. to walk in front of me. Yeah. Like, I'm such a fucking... We had a blind comic in Orlando. Pretty funny guy, yeah.

As you post on Facebook then, we're like, where the fuck is this? Everybody's so confused. He was like, where is this coming from? How can he... I also knew this blind guy

and my buddy, he would just get hammered at this bar and, like, he just swing and stick around. Like, literally just like, yo, where are you? Just like fucking around. And, yeah, my buddy said he, like, came in on him one time,

just, like, jerk off, like, all the time in places. Because he'd be like, what? I'm sorry, I don't know where I am. Like, just purposely using it to fuck around. What? I'm not home? Damn.

Yeah, I'm not sure it was. I think he was blood. I can't do that anymore, which is, I'm not saying I'm super pro, but there were times where, like, especially in college, like, somebody, like, somebody, like, would, like, put their balls on somebody's shoulder. And that's kind of funny sometimes. Do you what I mean? Well, I always said this.

You can't rape somebody with your balls. So that's why they're kind of funny. because it's like Michael Good, 2020. I mean, yeah, obviously you can't. But like, you know what I mean? It's like one of those things that's like, it's like balls are so, yes, it is sexual, but it's like mooning somebody.

You know what? Showing somebody. It's kind of like different. But then your dick, I think, is kind of a different thing. Sure. But we used to play this game where we pour balls out and we'd see how long it'd people would notice. Like, I'd go to a high school party and I'd have my balls out for like 10 minutes.

And then people would be like, oh, dude, I just saw a... We played a game called Dicker Balls in college. Oh, really? Where we would like, this is in a, whatever. We would like, you would just come into like the room and like you would have like your hand covering up almost all of it. And then your friends would have to guess if I, if the part they could see was your dick or your balls. Yeah. That's such a dude game. Yeah. Well, you can't do it with girls. It's like is this what? Labia Manora or Labia Bouture? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't really. No. I, I, I remember one of my friends she, um, some guys she's dating like posted her nude like because it was like an ex and then I was like, I think I, I'm not sure we actually went through this, but then I was, I put my, I was, I don't know if I did, but I was gonna put my profile as my balls to, like, try to make her feel better, something like that. But it's so funny that. That was like, the, the equivalent. Like, I was like, oh, post my ball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was posting, like, newts of me on face. I'm like, really well done. This is for you. I'm like, I was thinking of this. We used to play this game in elementary school. Then I'm like, holy shit, that was probably really not cool. Did you ever play the game where, like, you would try to take a little

piece of paper and throw it down a girl's shirt? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought about that the other day. I was like, that was probably super inappropriate. Like, that was not cool at all. But, like, we did it all the time. And it wasn't even, like, they wouldn't be like, stop doing it. It was almost like, I don't know, there was like a flirtatious aspect

to it. Yeah. Absolutely. But it was definitely like, I probably shouldn't have done that. That was weird. Yeah, yeah. Especially now. Like, if you go to an elementary school and start just like, it's the game. I don't know. No. No. No. No. Trust me.

Trust me. I'm 25 years old. They're not cool with it. No. But then I think there's like a weird, yeah, it's like weird. We used to consider like pranks because like, I feel like it's also different in a friend. You know what I mean? Like to a random person, it's like can be harassed, but like your buddy. You know what I mean?

There's like a weird level of like, but it's also like anything. It's like if I call my buddy a dumb bitch, that's like different because I know him. Compared to if I call it a stranger dumb. Like I don't consider it harassment to call my friend dumb bitch. Sure. But I think if I call it a stranger that, I do think that would be harassment in a way. Like I think the lines kind of change. Right.

A little bit. Like, you know, for example, my girlfriend. friend. I could walk out of the shower naked because, but in somebody else's apartment, I couldn't do that. Right. And you also probably didn't do that the first day you guys were together. Yeah, exactly. Like you've worked up, there's a familiarity, there's an established relationship that's said, and you kind of know what the limits are within your own friend group. You know what I mean? Exactly, yeah. And you also have the ability to be like, hey, if you said something fucked up, I'd be like, hey, man, like that was a little too far. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Makes sense. Yeah, dude. Call them people dumb bitches. I call my girlfriend a dumb bitch I always know She calls me a dumb That's like our like Four playing Our thing Yeah yeah

It's not a sexual thing I'll like I'll kiss her Good night Be like good night Bitch Bitch Like a little Sneaking in at the end

Dumb bitch Dumb bitch Yeah I was talking about this the other day We're like I can't like I'll never I'll joking They call my girlfriend a bitch But like I'll never actually call her a bitch

I'm angry But I'll just dance around I'll be like You're acting kind of bitchy In a way Yeah yeah yeah We're acting like somebody who is, you know what I mean. Right.

Who, yes, exactly. No, that'll, like, I'll only bring that out once I know I'm winning this argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can, so I'll, like, laugh as I say it. Like, I'm like a bitch. You've let her dig herself a deep in a hole, but it's like, you can't even acknowledge. Try it. Yeah, try saying I'm wrong in this instance.

Yeah. I don't think my girlfriend's ever admitted she was wrong about anything. from being honest. That's why I think it's funny with women getting canceled so funny to me because I'm like, really, you think they're going to admit that they're wrong. This is going to be a tough. Right. Well, I feel like they always say it's like, yes, but it was part of my journey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, no dude has ever like, yeah, it was part of my journey. Absolutely. It's like, no. Finding myself. Yeah, I was finding myself inside other people. That's what I think. Yeah.

No, it's like, although this is sexes, I think, like, I don't know, I have explain everything. It's like, I do think that some women have that, I don't know, I don't know, I don't explain it. Some women you don't like admitting they're wrong. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't like angry about it. I don't like admitting that I'm wrong. No, of course.

I can be a super stubborn prick. Yeah, yeah. On the opposite, I admit, I'm so, that's one of my things. I'm like, I'm a fucking dump. Like, all the time, something I just did. I'm like, that was stupid. Sure. But I also feel like, like, women feel shame about their appearances and men feel

shame about behavior. Sure. Like, men will be like, I can't believe I fucking did that. Yeah. And the girls would be like, I can't believe I look like. Like, it's like a different kind of thing. Sure. Different chames.

Yeah. different shame. Shame. Shame and them. Look better women. The worst is when you do something stupid, like, and shameful, and then you do the same thing again, and you're like, what is? And then you really don't have a leg to stand up.

Yeah, you're like, I'm just a piece of shit now? Is this what this is? God damn it. Or when it's disguised as something else, like, oh, no, I made this mistake. And then you do something exactly similar. And you're like, oh, wait, no, this is the same mistake. Right. Yeah.

Damn. When you're having an argument and you're admitting that you were wrong, do you make a big deal about it? Like a whole song and dance? I fake cried in front of my girlfriend one time. Whoa. Yeah, I splash like white wine in my eyes. I swear to God. It wasn't even water.

Your eyes are like, babe, why is your face sticky now? I don't know, it's just, you gotta see a doctor about it. I'm so bad at her being, like I hate when people are mad at me.

I don't know, it's just like, I'm such a people please. Oh yeah, I hate it too. I'm just like, don't be mad of me, like me.

I want to be fucking liked. See, I have a, I have that too, but I also need to be right all the time. but I have like if we have an argument

and like we have the argument then we go apart and then we come back and kind of like let's put the pieces back together after that I do try to start with seeing okay how did I negatively contribute to the situation I'll be like okay yes then I did this

but also you fucking did that but I've also realized what works though is if you say yeah yeah yeah it's like the best way to argue in my opinion is you say the wrong thing at the end. Because I think it works better if you go, you really shouldn't have done that, but I could be better

because people always hear like the last side. You know what I mean? Because I think it's harder because then people think you're trying to get out of it when you're like, oh, I'm wrong, but also you were a dick. I think you're being a dick, but also I'm wrong.

Just naturally people are like, oh. Like it's just a mental trick. That's not bad. That's my technique. Yeah, yeah. Mine's just like, you said this and that made me feel this. Yeah, yeah.

And then I think that puts it into a context into their stupid little women brains. It's not enough blood to use both at the same time. Come on, lady. Get it. Yeah. Women. Aw, man, dude. Can't live with them?

Can't live without. Damn. What are your Fourth of July plans this weekend? I'm going on vacation. Oh, where you going? Me, my girlfriend, and then my family are going, my family are rich pieces of shit, and they're already there. Oh, nice.

We're going to Portland and Seattle, so Pacific Northwest. Oh, sweet. Yeah, I've been to Portland. Yeah, we've never been up there. I guess it's, like, normally it's just like, I feel like rainy, cloudy, a little chilly all the time, but I guess they're getting hit with like the same fucking heat wave that we are. It's going to be like a hundred up there. Yeah.

I'm not into that. That's where I learned about DitchStep. Really? It's Dubstep with Ditch Redoos. I got super into it for like a week. Yeah, I don't know. I just learned. what that was. And by just, I mean, 10 seconds ago.

My favorite didgeridoo thing is, what do my friends move to Colorado? And we hadn't seen him in a year because it was like right after, like right when college starts. You know that first semester you don't really see your friends that moved away? Right. And I'm at guitar center and I'm blown into a didgeridoo. Haven't seen him in like a year. He walks up, doesn't even say hi. He has a nose ring and sandals on. He goes, did you redo right on? Pulls it and just knows how to rip it. And it's just like, it's good seeing you too, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Damn, didgeridoo. That circular breathing is weird. Yeah, yeah. Because you got to breathe through your nose while breathing out through your mouth. It makes no sense. Yeah, yeah. I've tried. And yeah, you, exactly, you end up looking like a fucking three-year-old pig.

Yeah. I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, it's tough. What are you doing for a... I'm cat sitting. Oh, wow. My girlfriend's aunt is out of town. So we'll be in her aunt's nice-ass apartment.

Oh, there you go. Cat sitting. I saw a guy with a cat on his shoulder I don't know. Have you seen that? I didn't mean cut you off. A guy. Like he had like a parrot.

Like he was walking around town with a cat on his shoulders. I've never seen that. No leash? No, it was just hanging on his shoulder like a parrot. Yeah, it was very strange.

That's weird. Yeah. I mean, my dad had a pet monkey and so to my grandma. So there's, yeah. Monkeys? Yeah, I have this weird skill. Almost any monkey,

if you pull up a picture of it, I can guess what kind of monkey it is. Aren't there like three types? So, no, no, there's like hundreds. Oh, really? I don't know hundreds, but there's a lot. Yeah. Because there's old world monkeys that are from like India, Africa, and Asia.

There's new world monkeys like in South America. There's all kinds of, I mean, a baboon's way different than white-faced capuching. Of course, yeah. We all, as we all know, the difference between a baboon and a little. Don't, don't even get me started about nobody. They'll get me started on the black-faced cocoons. Were we racing to that one? We were doing that.

He's got it. Yeah, there it is. I want it. It's right there. We were doing that the other day. We listened to a painted black by, uh, what's it called? Rolling Stones. Yeah, yeah.

And we were like, I have- You're wearing a fucking shirt. You're like, what's that band name? Mick Jabber. Is that his name? We were just joking around about like a Jimmy Fallon or some celebrity like I have a white face and I want to paint it black. That's great.

It probably like a jazz version of the song because that's what people do when they do blackface. That's true. Just very carnival. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the thing with, you know,

Bill Cosby paying free to us wondering if I could resurrect my blackface bit. What is it? Are you just saying because black people look bad now? What do you say? Very confused. It's true. Like now that society.

I think I got the green light. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. It's because, you know, I don't care if it's on a podcast. I don't go shit anymore.

When I was 13, I fucking did blackface. for Halloween. I had no idea that it was a thing. I had no. My mom didn't say anything, nothing. I had one friend. What did she just wanted you to get in?

She's like taking pictures. She's like, I'm a blackmail the fuck out of you. Clean your room right now. What did you go as? Bill Cosby. I thought you were just as a black person. I got the sweater, you know, and I did it because my brother was Bill Cosby for Halloween.

But he was white. But he didn't do blackface. So I'm like, I'm going to fucking step it up. Oh, dude, that's awesome. That's so bad, but so far. Wait, so like... So stupid. Do you don't have pictures, do you?

No, thank God. I mean, I don't think so. Yeah, it's only documented on my podcast for everybody. Smartphones weren't invented yet. And so if it is, it's like a flip phone. Yeah. Sure. What shade, was it like dark or like lighter?

Were you going for authenticity or? No, it was, I think it was a little lighter. You know, I didn't do the hands. So that's, that's the thing. It's like, I'm not racist. Yeah, but black people also have white. Wait, that's more. You just did like this, your face only?

In my neck. Okay, that's fine. It's not fine, but it's like better. Oh, well, that's fine. The worst is like just the layer on the face. Yeah, it's a circle on your face. I think you're like, I didn't do the pot because black people of palms are lighter. Yeah.

Yeah, the palm, I'm talking on top, you know, on the top of my hands. I didn't do that. At least you know when you're rock bottom with racism is. You've already had it. You're like, this is the biggest mistake I'll ever make. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And just like, no, I had one friend that was like, he called me Al Jolson.

And I'm like, he's an educated guy. I'm fucking stupid. I'm just like, what? Okay, sounds like a pretty cool dude. Yeah. The fuck that is. Yeah, 13. That's fine.

Oh, God. Well, I think about it now. I'm like, God, I want to call myself. Yeah, of course. You're not going to like go back and do it again. Oh, yeah. It's like my. He gets a time machine.

I just want to do it again. Just want to get him. Feel the rush. Yeah. I did get more candy than all my friends. Like, good job, son. Just most racist day. Yeah.

I mean, they were scared you were going to take it all. I love that. They're so racist. They actually think he's like a black kid. Like, I'm so sorry. We don't have grape soda at this house. We're like, what? Oh, no.

Jesus. Yeah, that's so funny that because, like, I look back at some racist things. I thought or did when I was younger. You're like, it's so annoying because you're like, I haven't gotten past. I'm like, that, ugh. You're like, it's just so gross that I thought that way or did that.

Oh, yeah. Like, I mean, like, I was raised, I mean, pretty conservative. And, like, we, I've, my, myself and my family, I think, has become, like, more liberal as we've gotten older. But, like, I remember, like, saying the worst things about Obama when he first got in. I was, like, I was fucking in the eighth grade. Like, I didn't know. All I was hearing was just, like, what was, like, the adults around me were

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, wow, that's not good. Like, I've, that probably shouldn't say that ever again. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's hard for me because I always have that thing where, like, I, like, I've changed. Like, I used to get, like, super mad at racist people because I'm like, you fuck, but then I realize, like, oh, I'm that to somebody else. Yeah. So a super woke person sees me and they're like, they see me the same way I see, like, a super racist person.

So I'm like, all right, it's kind of a spectrum. You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't know. I mean, obviously it's, like, bad to be racist. Like, it's a big. a big flaw. I think it's like one of the worst things. Yeah.

But like I think it, yeah, it is one of those things that like, I'm like, I don't know if the best way is just to be angry. Like I fought one of my friends

because he like said some really racist shit one time and I was like, well, I didn't really stop him from being, like, sure. I got into physical fist fight with my friends because he said like some super racist shit

that I disagreed with. And I was like, now he's just mad at me and racist. You know what I mean? Like it didn't help any problems at all. I think there can be a time and a place to like, resort to like physical altercations or whatever. But, like, also, like, I try to think about it, like, okay, how would I like to receive criticism of myself?

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if somebody's yelling in my face, I'm not going to be like, oh, I'm going to really listen to what they have to say. I'm going to be defensive. It's so funny because you have a ghost tattoo on your eye and it looked like a clan thing for a second. It looks like it's a guy in a hood. Yeah, hold on. Yes.

No, I've got a meeting to get to after this, actually. Can we, no. But yeah, like, if you're, I'm not going to, I'm not receptive to people screaming at me. So, like. No, of course. Yeah, yeah. That's also hard because a lot of that is based off like emotion and emotions can be crazy. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

It's not nice. So basically I'm a hero. Yeah, big time. Yeah. But I feel bad. We've got to end there. Is there anything you guys want to promote? I got a podcast, youth group podcast.

Anywhere you listen to podcasts, it's out there. Other than that, no. Sweet. Follow me on Instagram. Levi the White. I'll apologize for everything I said. Yeah, I love you. At Batmoman on Instagram and Twitter as well.

Sweet.