Morning Good - Do I Have To Be A Hero Today? - Episode 184

Episode Date: August 27, 2023

Dan Frank and Espi Rivadeneira join the show for today's episode. They talk about vigilante justice, the origin of the term 'Yoked', and Espi's Christian spiritual revival.Thanks to Dan and Espi for coming back on the show. Check them out on earlier episodes and click their links down below for more.Follow Dan on Instagram @notannefrankk and check out his website danfrankcomedy.com. Espi is on Instagram @espirivadeneira and co-hosts the #ustoo podcast on YouTube. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.This podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax.

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. Oh, I love that.

Yeah, by way, shout out to Tim's Brace. Welcome to morning. And we're here with Spie Rivettanera. Hi. And we're here with Dan Frank. Hey, guys. Perfect. All right, we're all here.

And S. S.P. showed up an hour late. And I would say, and I invite. I feel so bad. You like, she's soiling my reputation. I'm a POC technically, so you should expect it.

To be late. You just try to be politically correct. But say, I'm a POC. We're late as fuck. That's a very funny. Yeah, defense. You're like, no, it's,

we're allowed to be, we're allowed to fit our stereotypes. That's how it works. I'm Hispanic. Well, you're Argentine, right? Yeah. I was telling him, I was walking down the street

yet last night. And I literally heard a guy go, he goes, Argentinians, just remember, we're always an hour late to everything. Everything's an hour late. Argentinian people specifically. Yeah, yeah.

But it was like, he was like making sure people know the stereotypes of prepared. I'm like, but if it's an hour, so I understand in your case, because you were trying to get here on time. But if the agreement is to be an hour late to everything, then just change the hour. They're like that, though. When I went down there, everything was like an hour. And then they would tell us like, oh, the shop opens at 12.

And then they were like, but don't go 12, go 1. And I was like, dude, that's crazy. Well, then just say, go off. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to be like, it's, I don't know why. It's like a fake time. And you're, wait, are you half Argentine? Yeah, so that makes sense because you were a half hour late. Because I did say, I was like, could I come at 3.30 and then.

No, no, it's totally. You're the, not the, yeah, no, it's fine. Has anyone been later than me? Yeah, people don't show up, which is just as late as possible. People are like seven episodes late. So, yeah, yeah. Is it just you then? Yeah, well, the worst thing is when people go,

they'll go, we'll start the episode, and then you'll come in. They'll be like, you're late. So people that'll be like, we're like, we're like, we're 30 minutes late, but start without me. Never works. Because it's not like, that works on like radio for some reason when they're like, oh, so and so is in the studio. But like for podcasts, he doesn't work because you're like,

awkward. Yeah, well, you're also, you're like, buzz him in. You're like, the buzz isn't working. My favorite is, you know, you guys know Johnny Salami? No. You've talked about him about him. Oh, he's so funny, but he got stuck between the doors. because there's one door that opens up and lets you in

and there's like another door that buzzes and he was getting so pissed he's like you I unlocked one door and then I pressed the button again because he pressed a new button and waited there but it's like no they both buzzed at the same time you open one and then you open the next and then you go in

you can't just buzz people in no I was my girlfriend has the app I don't have the app and I can't figure out of it out of it oh I think I accidentally buzzed your girlfriend well she's we live in the same place oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I hit there was a 5D and I was like it was a girl's name and then I was

like, waiting. Yeah, my Angelina. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's her. Yeah. Some lady. You did it. Some lady lives here. But, and then you have to fill people in there like, what were you talking about? And then you're like, well, we were talking about this isn't that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, um. I'm sweaty.

Yeah, it's okay. You're here. I don't think it's okay. I'm, I'm furious. I'm, oh, you're so warm. I'm deleting this episode. I know what? Dude, I've been giving off a lot of heat lately. Like all the time. Everybody. they're like that hugs me or whatever they're like you're really warm but I think maybe it's because I've been working out a lot

Are they used to you being cold? Yeah actually because I put on seven pounds Oh good for you Yeah so now you're more okay that makes sense Does that make sense? I don't know Yeah yeah yeah as somebody who's I gain and lose weight you definitely get sweatier

If you're fatter but you're Hey I'm warm because I'm hairy Like I'm all hairy I'm gonna be anorex again. No, no, no, no. Start losing a ton of weight. What I'm saying is, like,

the more weight you have in general. Let me go throw up in the bathroom. That's not what I'm saying. Damn. But it's like, because you're moving, you're using more energy, if that makes sense. That's not.

You keep trying. You're so far for being fat. Oh, man. That's like what somebody tries to defend they're not racist. It's an impossible task. Nobody has ever finished a sentence looking less racist than they started it.

I get so sweaty in the summer just from being hairy all. Oh, I guess so sweating of defending myself with being racist. Oh, yeah, you are hairy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, check it out. And then his back is very hairy. Nice. I was always told if you eat egg, it puts hair on your chest.

I get a lot of hair on my toes, which is gross. Because I'm Italian, too. That sounds like a Florida legend. Yeah, you get egg. You get yoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just learned what yoked means. Like ripped?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's from eating egg yolks, right? All right. I guess I'm uncultured. Is it? I don't think it is. It's spelled different. Is it really?

It's like Y-O-K-E-D. Dude, I just like, I just went on so long explaining it to him before this. I gave me a whole urban legend. So did you lie to Dan Frank? I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to beat the shit out of him now?

She probably could. I'm pretty scrappy. Yeah. Scrappy and warm. You've been in fights too, right? That's awesome. He'll be like, oh, she's so warm. I'm melting.

Because of her fat. You're not. Fat S-P. Michael, what did you do? I just start crying during the body. I just saw, oh my God, the internet's terrible. I just saw, like, I follow some influencers. I don't follow them because... Okay.

We opened Dan Frank's, like, phone in the background, just followers. Just chests. Yeah. All chess. Well, I stopped following them because I realized I just wanted to sleep with them, and it's not going to happen. Damn. Oh, so you're just...

Well, what if it could? I mean, I keep messaging them, but... Oh, my God. Like, hey, I'm going to be in Nashville. And they're like, oh, thanks. I'm good with my 300,000 followers. Yeah, that's crazy. They kind of just go through and they're like, because like in their mind, it's like they probably just go through

their people following them. They're like, fuck this person. I can't fuck that person. Yeah. Yeah, they sit on like a king on their throne. Just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, look at my subjects. My following's getting good. Yeah.

And then people, but I don't know how what the, because I'm scared of creepy guys. But then I'll get DMs from people. like someone was like, oh, are you performing Sunday? I just wanted to get a ticket. And I'm like, are you going to murder me? Like, I don't know what to do. That sucks.

The funny is, I see that in the pair a lot where like a girl would be like, yeah, I barked in this guy. But, uh, eh. And she's like, middle-aged guy. He's like, yeah, I'm here to see S. And we're like, all right, well, that's an extra audience member. But somebody keep in that guy. I don't let, if someone's mad, creepy, I'm like, no, you can fuck off. I have no problem telling people off.

There have been girls that, like, struggle with that. And they're like, ugh. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. Like, I, uh, recently a guy who was kind of creepy to me, like, apologized to me over Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah.

It was kind of a good redeeming moment. That's nice. You know, yeah. And then he hits you with the creepiness again. Gotcha. It could be, like, post, not clarity. Like, maybe he, like, jerked off and he's like, all right, that was weird. That was like that.

And then now he's, like, back to reality. Then like a month later, he's like, nah, maybe I was right about being griping. He was like, sorry, I was saving my semen for months. Yeah. Now I'm good, though. I've had people apologize, but I think it's because I go off. I go ballistic sometimes.

Yeah. I don't think that's normal. I had to ignore it. He just messaged me over and over and I had to ignore. And he finally got that I was ignoring him. It took a lot of ignoring, though. Yeah, that is always crazy when you see the people in the chain of text messages, and you're like, after like, three, you've got to be like,

there's no way this person can be like, it says scene. Yeah, yeah. I'm clearly... That'd be funny. That's hilarious that you open it. Because sometimes I just ignore it and then I'll block if they keep going. Yeah, yeah. Well, because it's like, it's crazy too to be like, do you think that...

You think they're like, this fifth message, then they'll realize I really want. That'd be funny. The person turned around, they're like, actually, I didn't think you're really that interested. But after the fifth, hey, I was like, now I know you really want this relationship. Yeah, I don't get why they think that ever works. That's all Scruff and Grindr are. I don't know.

about the other gay apps that are out there. So maybe with that, the mindset is like maybe if I keep messaging, eventually he'll be horny enough to fuck me. It's like direct marketing. Yeah, which I think is, I'll keep calling. With women does not work at all. No, it makes it way worse.

Yeah. I feel like if someone ignores me, then I'm more interested, which is crazy. Yeah. I think it's a female thing because a guy, I don't think guys, I can't speak for straight or gay guys. But I think for straight guys, it's like, I'm the opposite.

It's like if somebody like, would message me a bunch. And, like, I don't, I don't look down as much being like, oh, they're really interested. Like, I was more attracted to somebody who's, like, interested than who's not. Yeah. Damn, if somebody, like, hits me up a couple times, I'm like, I will kill you. Really? I'm like, don't.

Just leave me alone. I'm like, I'm like, why does no one want to date me? And I'm just vicious to be. I'm like, nobody wants that. And then I'm like, if somebody talks to me, I'll murder them. It's a great. You have weapons. Yeah.

I can say it. You got a taser. Yeah. What's the legality? Aren't you technically not a lot to have a taser in New York? I don't think so.

Yeah. But I need it. It seems that they don't want women to fill themselves in New York City. They're like no pepper spray, no tasers. I don't know if that changed. My dad gave me pepper spray. Okay.

Anytime he comes here to the city, he has this pepper spray. Like, he's like ready. Yeah. And like he'll give it to me. I'm like, fine. I'll take it. And then I put it in my bag and then we'll go somewhere where they check bags. I'm like, dad, like it's in my bag.

He's like, you're not holding it? Yeah. Like, there's the difference in thinking. Like, oh, shit, what do I do? Like, when I'm walking around, I just have it in my hand. People think that's crazy. But I'm like, that's when they get you. For sure.

What are you gonna ruffle through your purse? I like that logic, though, with a gun. Some guy who just always has a gun in his head. He's like, well, you know, what am I going to reach my pocket for it? You never know. I don't think I could have a gun because I have, like, when I get angry, I don't know if you've seen me mad. Yes.

You have. You've seen you mad many, like more than half the time. I'm more chill now. Damn. Damn. I've seen you like. No, no, no. I've seen the like not mad side of you, of course. Yeah.

I've seen you mad in like the sense that you're like, oh. But I noticed you get fully mad. But you think if you had a gun, you'd just shoot people? I think I would. Yeah. It'd be hard not to pull it. Like when somebody's like really talking shit. Well, I sometimes I like black out with anger.

Like I've gotten way better. That seems healthy. Everyone's like, I'm like, angry. Yeah, to lose control of your thoughts. Yeah. I was on the train. This was like a month ago. And I was really tired.

And then this dude comes in and he, there's like these two girls sitting next to me. He's like staring at them like creepy. And I'm just like, and then he starts doing it to me. And I'm like, look at it. I'm like, is there a fucking problem? Yeah. And he was like, I'm just looking.

I was like, okay, then look somewhere else. And he's like, no, I can look where I want. And I was like, no, you can't like. See, that's where it gets bad. Because I understand staring. at people. Like, if you're an attractive person, like, you look at them. You're like, oh, that person's attractive. Like, you, you glance at them. But then to be like, I'm just looking. Like, that's, yeah. So he kept doing it. Yeah, yeah. I'm allowed to look. I can stare you.

Yeah. Yeah. So then I was like, I'm going to switch cars because it was late at night. And then I don't know what. This is where like, when I get angry, I feel like I don't even had controlled myself. I just pulled my mace on him. And I was like, look away. I was like, no, these are, he was still pushing back. Like, these are my eyes. I was like, I'm going to fuck up your eyes if you don't look away. And then he just. And then he just, like shot down. Imagine there was a gun. That's what I mean, dude,

because I lost my mind. And then I was just thinking, like, after, I was like, if he hadn't looked away and I maced him, I could have gone to jail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, damn. And this one girl came over after because he left. She was like, good for you.

But I was like, dude, I think I went a little crazy. I was like losing my mind. Don't. I just got to check something real quick. But, yeah, I don't know. I think if I, I don't think I would actually use it. But I don't know, just the idea of like,

I don't know. There's a lot of scenarios where I feel like I'm like Batman almost. That sounds insane. But like. I feel just dark and mysterious. Yeah, yeah, I just feel like I'm rich and really good at karate.

Well, I'll see like a couple. And then like sometimes you don't know the dynamic. And you're like, do I have to be a hero today? Which the answer is no. Always. Like you'll see.

I was in a bar at college time. This girl's like getting choked by this guy. And I was like, do you a problem here? And she's like, no. we just like choked you like get the fuck out of it I was like my bad like hey you're king shaming

actually Michael you're the anti-hero that's good because my brother one time this girl got date raped and then he was at a bar with two of his like lady friends and then he went over he's like a big guy and he was like do you know her because they were like

he was like dragging out this girl and he got really weird and was like no no no and then they took her and he drove her home and she was like waking up in the car and my brother was like it looks so bad oh yeah now he's like now if he was like I'm gonna...

And then he had to drop her off, but she was, like, out of it. He was like, I was just glad my two, like, girl friends were there. Oh, yeah. They were like, it's fine. Like, you don't... But she was so out of it still.

She, like, threw up in the car and then just passed out. That's the craziest to me. It's like, who's gonna drug somebody? And then just, what bar is? I mean, you just, like, drag a woman, like, out of the ball. You know what I mean?

People, like, don't care. Some bars... People see stuff all the time and don't do anything. Don't say anything. Yeah. Well, that's where, like, the me being Batman thing comes in. Because there's a weird...

There's a weird thing where it's like, it's like, I'll see like a couple like... The hard one is like when you're in public, you see a woman like punching a guy. And you're like, all right, is he going to swing on her? And if he swings on her, does that warrant me getting involved? Because she like punched him in the face like five times.

I'm not saying he should not punch her. I know, but it's tough. I'm like, she shouldn't be hitting him either. Yeah. For sure. And I'm like, but me going in and being like, hey, guys, it's like now they're both going to fight me. You know what I mean?

It's like, I think they're both. wrong, but I don't know if me stopping the fight would do anything. So I'm like, it's like now it would just be both of them fighting me. Because apparently that's how that works most of the time. And it's, uh, yeah, I'll see some crazy things. It's like, obviously you shouldn't hit a woman. But the crazy thing to me is the woman

who think that guys can't hit them. Like, they'll hit a guy like five times in the face. That's wild. Because I'm like, if you, I get angry, I'll swing. So I'm like, I feel that for everybody where I'm like, if you're smacking somebody. So you're expecting, you're not the kind of girl, like, where you're going to be like, oh, no guy will ever hit me. me like I think you have an understanding you're like I'm preparing myself.

No, I've gotten hit so I'm like. Yeah. So when you hit somebody, you're assuming. I'm going to get hit back. Exactly. But you will see like women like hit a guy and they're like, there's no way this stranger at a bar. I'm like, you don't know that guy.

That guy could be a total piece of shit. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. I wasn't supposed like on the subway and there was like me and two other people and like a guy wasn't wearing a mask and the lady was trying to get him to wear a mask. It was so crazy because she was like. Sir, here's a mask.

Could you please her? And he was just like staring in the distance. And I was just like, ladies, stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know who he is. He could have a gun or something. Yeah, no, I saw that one time too. And then the guy started cursing her.

She was, like, surprised. Yeah. It's like, this guy's homeless. What? He didn't have shoes on. I just wanted him to wear a mask. Yeah, yeah. He's like, give him shoes first.

Yeah. Yeah, give him money or so. He's like a mask. What the fuck like? I'm homeless. Yeah, he doesn't know there's a pandemic going on. I saw some lady. following the subway rules.

She was screaming at this guy on the side. He made a delivery, so he brought his bike with him on the sidewalk. And then he was like, bring it. She was like, it's illegal to bike on the sidewalk. And I was like, oh, my God, lady, shut up. Yeah. Yeah. I do like, yeah, I'll bike on a sidewalk occasion, but I know it's, it's annoying.

Like, the only time I'll do, I'll walk the bike on the sidewalk instead of riding it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've ridden it. Dude, I think I'm done. Were you there when I told you I nearly got hit by a bus? That you got hit by a bus? No, I nearly did.

No, I don't. So, like, last week I was biking. And then I, I don't know why. I was just, like, really zen. And I didn't look. It was a two-way street. And I just didn't look. That's very funny.

I'm sorry. So then I'm like, oh, like, literally like, life is so good. And this fucking bus is coming at me. And I was on the e-bike. And then there was this, like, construction. And there was tape, like, do not come. And I just flew through it. And then all these dudes were just staring at me.

And then I biked away. But the bus, like, it was so scary that I just canceled my city bike membership. I was like, I'm done. Yeah. No. After that. I was like one wrong thing. Like, I just wasn't paying attention.

I like that God, like woke you up, though. He's like, oh, you want to relax and be like the second you're relaxing. He's just like, yeah, no, that's not going to happen. I had one where I was like, I was really high and I was visiting my girlfriend. I was interning in L.A. somewhere. And we had a little bird scooters. you know, like they're... Those things are crazy.

Yeah, and I was just very high, and it was, my most peaceful moment, too, where I was like, the sun is setting, there's, like, wind in my hair, and I'm like, ah, this is, I can get used to Los Angeles. And then I almost hit a guy who's, like, this kind of, like, yoked, uh, douchey.

Yoked? Yeah. I'm just realizing how much I use that word now. But he's like a yoked, like, middle-aged, uh, dad kind of guy. He's got, like, sunglasses. Yeah. Like, you know, like, the underarm or, like, you tell he's kind of a douche because he's got, like, the, the, like, the, the,

underarmor thing. And then he's like, he, where he screams, he's like, these fucking scooters, I'm not gonna get hit again. So like that.

And he's squaring up with me. He's like, I'll fucking, he was white, but he's like, I'll fucking kick your white ass. And I was like, weird for her,

the white guys. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he was Jewish. Maybe he was like, a white Puerto Rican or something. Yeah. He's like,

I've dated like Mexican guys who were like, super white. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, there are white, It's a weird thing because the president of Mexico is a white guy. Yeah, the crazy is... There's a lot of them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The craziest is the Mormons there. I watch a documentary about that. In Mexico? Yes. I talked on Scruff with some. Yeah, and they're totally white, but they're like, they have like a very thick accent. I can't nail it.

Damn. I was so excited. But they were like, we are cousins of Mitt Romney. He's like our guy. And I'm like, this is crazy because Mormon white is like the whitest white. So, yeah, Juan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No coffee.

No nothing. Damn, dude, that's crazy. Crazy. That's funny, too, because they got, like, the most, they got, like, the 10 gallon. Like, they looked so, like, it wasn't like they were just white guys living in Mexico. They're wearing, like, the, the leather cowboy vest and then, like, shoes with, like, spurs. Damn. Yeah.

Are you religious? No. I was raised religious, but I'm not. Are you? So, no. I just got into it. You just got it? Oh, yeah.

I did. I love that you said that as if it's, like, collecting. or something. I just got into that. I just found the Bible. Astrology or getting to, yeah, they find something,

getting to taro, getting to yoga. Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely not like getting into yoga. No, I mean, I,

I, I'm religious too, but like, I, like, some people do, like, can get into it.

For sure. Yeah. Get in there. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I was thinking, get in there.

Shem me in. Hello, Jesus. Here's the girl. here's her girl I was thinking about it today because it's uh you guys are both Christian

I am but I don't know I get confused about the different things Well you should figure it out before you tell me what you're into it I feel like I'm Christian So this is why I found a Quran on the street And I was like the Quran

Okay it's not Christian by the way When she It's not and I'm like oh oops I found a Christian Quran Quran Quran But I think Gia What are those Hebrew Bible

I think my rabbit hates Islamic people because she took a bite out of it. Oh, dang. And then I... Or maybe she just hates the document itself. Maybe she's like, I support the people, but not the... It's definitely not her wanting to eat paper. It's got to have meaning.

But then I was going through a crisis last year, so then I started to... I was like, okay, I got to find God. So then I went to church. And then, but I didn't really like the guy. There was a visitor of the first week who was awesome. And it felt like it was like, what I needed to hear.

And I was like, damn. And so then I got the Bible, but I read the Bible every day. Oh, really? Yeah. Michael Goet's like, get out of my house. No, no.

We were some say. I'm like, okay. No, no, no. I have really weird things where I disagree with like the Bible a lot, but I also think there's like really good values in it. This is not typical morning good podcast. Also, the Bible disagrees with itself a lot of the time too.

Like it's, it's all these different books. The old testament. I'm reading the New Testament. Oh, cool. It's a better testament. Are you going from first to like, are you going like I'm going straight through the end? Wow.

Okay. Yeah. I would start with the hits. Really? Why? Why? Sermon on the Mount. I wanted to start with the Old Testament,

but Jay was like, I don't know. It's like starting with, you know, like you watch a comedian's really good special or something. Yeah. And then you see their, their crappier stuff because you're like into them. Yeah, yeah.

You wouldn't start with your crappier stuff. Yeah. And it's like a deep cut of a band. It's like a band had like a... Yeah. The Old Testament's like the crazy like grunge or like metal album. It seems like tough with what I've heard from the Old Testament. I'm like, oh my God.

There's some good things in the Old Testament. It's like the reign of King David. There's like Moses and the Israelites. I like the rock throwing stuff. What's that? No, I'm just kidding. Were they stone people? Oh my God.

I love where they stone and murder. That would be funny to be a strictly old thing. Because like the whole point in the Bible is like that Jesus. The Christianity aspect is the New Testament basically, right? where like Jesus is like the New Testament. He's the new, he's fulfilling the old. Wait, were you Christian? Yeah, so I was raised.

I understand not. So my dad started to finish read the Bible to me when I was a kid. I'm sure. The whole thing? Yeah, I'm sure. I never did that. Yeah. You should get in there.

I started with the hits. My mom showed me like all these videos of like Jesus and his life and like Wait, wait, wait, videos of Jesus is like that. Yeah, like you tape recorded. Some guy with a wig on. Yeah, he's in a basement. No, this is real. They don't want you to see it.

Nice to meet you like he's Santa Claus or something. And I'm real. Wait, why aren't you into it? No, I'm not not into the Bible. I'm like weird about it where I think there's like, there's great values because like growing up genuinely all my atheist friends had a worse moral. Not all together, but all my atheist friends would steal from people more and the Christian friends would do somethings. Dude, I stopped stealing.

Yeah. See, look, the Bible does good things. Yeah. And I don't even hop the train. anymore. I was like, oh, God doesn't like this. I stopped that after my like second catch. Oh, yeah. I got caught twice. I think, actually, I know. Did I get, I think I got caught just once actually. Maybe. Yeah, but after that I was like,

I got to stop doing this. Yeah. It's stressful. Yeah. And it is stealing. It is funny. It is not stealing. Like, it is. No, it is. Yeah. Yeah. But, but my thing is like, I don't, I, I think I was talking about this. I don't judge people for stealing really, but even though I just did in the previous sentence. But I think it's like, but now you're a new person. Yeah, exactly. That's what Christianity's all about. Yeah. But it does bug people when people say things aren't stealing that are stealing. They're like, well, you know, I took something

from the store, but it's not stealing. You're like, what is? I'm not, I'm, yeah, I'm not judging you. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah. I do things are probably worse than stealing sometimes. What do you do? What do my worst thing is I do? I think it has like a body in the fall. Yeah. It falls out of the fridge.

He doesn't have a girlfriend. It's just like, he's like, this is Angelina. Or like, oh, he's like, Oh, my God. No, I don't know. It's like, I don't know. But I think that like, he's avoiding. Yeah.

He's dodging the question. Oh, my God. What's the worst thing I've ever done? He just kills both of us. He just kills both of us. You too. Well, I have stolen. Gas comes out.

I've definitely stolen before. So I can't judge anybody. But what, I think the only thing I don't like about the Bible is I just don't like rigidity. So I don't believe that a lot of it necessarily happened, which is fine. I think it has a great moral compass. A lot of the lessons are great. But I think we're probably all

on the same page with it, where some of it's probably incorrect and kind of like I don't like when people roll with things. I don't like when people look to it for facts. I look like I look to it for truth about who we are as people. Wait, what's the difference between facts

and truth? Fax is like it happened. This is exactly how it happened. truth like being like we find like things about ourselves that we relate to in these stories. You know? Yeah, that was. Yeah. Damn. This is such an intellectual.

I feel like this isn't Michael Goods. No, I'm enjoying. I love religious conversation. No, I do. Yeah. Well, it's also like, uh, like you watch Batman and find truth in that, but even though it's not a real thing. But you're like, yeah, there's a lot of truth.

Oh yeah. I get hype. You find truth in like people stand up. You find truth in like, yeah, like comic books and stuff or like sci-fi. Yeah. Like War of the Worlds, I just found out that was about like, do you ever read that book? I saw the movie with Tom Cruise.

Yeah, like aliens. I didn't see it with him. He was in it. And it was based on, like, it's aliens attacking England. And it was based on, like, England invading other countries, like with their giant military technology. Damn. And so they're like, okay, what if that happened to us, you know?

I didn't know that at all. It wasn't just like a cool, like, alien thing. Yeah, yeah. But, like, you look into, like, stories like that. Yeah. And like they're a lot of times people are like like writing about something else in it or or you can find something to relate your life to in all of this. And that's why people keep reading it and like writing sermons like that guy maybe even though he wasn't hitting for you. Yeah. A new guy wasn't because I was like I feel like you don't like women. Yeah. That's a good thing to pick up on. And then everyone else was like going with it. And then he kept asking for so much money. I was like I did. Oh yeah. He's got like snakes in one end and like. a tin in the other. I saw a Mormon documentary about these like polygamists in Utah who were like fighting for marriage rights.

And I started to relate a little bit as a gay person. I was like, I don't think they like gay people. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, we're all the same team. Yeah. There's nothing about gay people. If I said them, they'd be like, get out of here, faggot.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say that's an aspect that like would bother me about Christianity's like, I'm not just pandering just because you're here. But like, I know somebody who's like, I know somebody who's like a member of a church. And like the priest is like, I'm gay. But every day I pray about it and then I go home and I have sex with my wife. And that's what.

Oh my God. And I'm like, that's wild. No, you can be gay. It took me a long time to realize I could be gay and have faith. Yeah, yeah. And it actually helped me accept myself as a gay person. I remember we were going through that. Yeah, yeah.

And I called you. Yeah. I called you literally. And then I was like, man, I wish I believed in God. Yeah, you were. Yeah. And I was like, you could too if you give me $1,000. Yeah.

If you go through something horrible. Yeah. And then. No, yeah. No, it really helped me through and it helps me like see like my life in like different ways, you know. That's what I'm, everybody keeps telling me. They're like, you're different now, like my vibe. Because I know you guys have known me as an angry person, but I think I'm pretty zen now.

Yeah. I mean, you were zen before too. You know, you had anger. I was angry before. So what you're saying is God didn't want you to show up on time. Yeah. That's what you're saying. I don't actually give a book.

He's like, I was at church. I didn't want to look really lame. You know what of your podcast is. And I think my aspects that I disliked that were like growing up, I thought that masturbating was a sin. Oh, me too. Yeah.

And I had, I mean, it is. Is it? No, it's not. Well, lust is. I don't think it is. So lust can be a sin. You know,

you ever have those moments when you're like, oh, I shouldn't think that about that person. not for a religious reason, just like, oh, I shouldn't, you know. Like a boundary, kind of. Right. Sounds weird, but I've been avoiding all that stuff

since I got into the Bible. And so I don't even know what to do. What to do with what? Because I was like, is this all a sin? I don't know because I'm reading the book and I'm like, I'll find out. But I think don't, in my opinion,

look, I'm not religious, but I wouldn't base your life off what is sinning, what is not sinning like. Yeah, but I think it helps. The Bible contradit. Like, also, like, there's things like we say were written by one person and they were actually written by another.

You know, like, it's like with a grain of salt, everyone should take it. Yeah. Yeah, because it's also like there are weird like, yeah, it's written by so many different people. So like I agree with what he's saying. Over thousands of years. Yeah, yeah. So the morals were like, it's like, oh, don't have sex

per marriage. Who got married and then? So like it didn't make, you know what I mean? What thoughts are you having about lust? No, but I'm like, I don't, not to be gross. Well, actually, I'm not being gross. I don't. masturbate. I haven't masturbated in like a long time. I knew that. And I, how did you know? You talk about it.

Anytime you're like doing a stand-up. Don't masturbate. How did you know about that thing I said on a microphone to a room full of people? No, you don't. You remembered my bit? Wow. I had a joke about not having sex. I don't really have sex. Oh, not having sex. Yeah. I haven't had sex in a long time. But I'm saying that's convenient for you. So like, but I don't know if it's convenient. But what I'm saying is like, is like to say now that somebody else who does have a high sex

drive is like now sinning. It seems like an incorrect thing. I don't know. I'm like, because I'm like I would like to date, but then I feel like I'm supposed to like follow the Bible. No, no. I think you're using this incorrectly. This is where, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what if I need. Asby's like a nun now. She pulls out the habit. I get like more like covered up. You're a nun. You're a nun and a leather skirt. I love it. So badass. So I've been avoid ain't it? Because I don't know what to do. I guess. I'm trying to figure out my life. I think it's okay to not know what to do.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you have to have sex or not have sex, but I don't think you should let the book dictate what you do. I feel like I feel like that too, though, where I'm like, oh, I need to have sex sometimes. Well, sometimes I feel like, you're like, you're like, me too. And then I'm like, but I don't want to, I, sometimes I feel like when I date people, I fall in love so quickly. So I think I'm being really careful because it could be just the wrong person. Yeah.

And then I'm like, we're married. Me too. I fall for someone. So quick. So I feel like I'm waiting. This sounds lame, but I'm like waiting for God to figure it out. Yeah, that's fine.

That's fine, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's okay to wait. Yeah. Not for marriage, but. Well, that's what I was thinking, so that's what I was thinking.

I was like, I might just be celibate until I get married. Okay. You guys are like, you want to do that. Sure. I don't know. But the problem is like,

don't, what happened to me is I had OCD or I have OCD and I would masturbate and I thought masturbate and I thought masturbating and sin. So every time I master I would think that God, like, hates me and is punishing me. And that's the wrong... Do you think that's why you're OCD?

See, that's... No, I think my OCD interpreted something negatively, and it combined with the document of the Bible that created that. That's the weird thing about me is, like, I didn't think God hate... Oh, wait, maybe I did think God hated me. But I didn't know what masturbating was until years after I was doing it. Yeah, like, I've been doing it for, like, I think... I didn't know either.

Four years, maybe. I've been doing it. And then, like, a kid on the bus talked about it. I was like, what is masturbating? That you invented it? I was like, I'm really gaming the system. I don't have to fucking do. I was like, I am doing something no one's done ever before.

I am destroying myself. And it feels amazing. I'm destroying myself. I thought it was like, what the fuck is it? What am I doing? No one explained it to me. And then the kid just like explained it like it was like when you rub your dick up and down till something comes out.

Until something comes out. And I was so embarrassed that I. I was doing that. I was like, oh, that sounds like it hurts. And they were like, okay,

weirdo. Damn. But I don't think like, that whole aspect, I don't think I had, like, there was times where I blamed the Bible. But the Bible did this,

but I'm like, if I have OCD, I could have taken anything and then created that same self disgust. Like, you know what I mean? So it's like, I'm not blaming the Bible,

but I use something incorrectly. So it's like, I think it's the same thing with like alcohol or anything. Like, there's responsible alcohol. if I use it's irresponsible. There's responsible to use the Bible.

There's irresponsible use the Bible. Yeah, there's like secular people who don't masturbate too for like they're trying to like, I don't know, save their semen or they're trying to focus or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The nofap community. Yeah, nofap. That gets a little risky though because a lot of, there's a lot of-fop-com. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a lot of those dudes who are into like, uh, there's like a weird alt-right non-jerk off scene. Yeah. That's going to help them to the war. Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah. And after the war, they're just going to.

jerk off all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's probably different for women than men because I think if guys don't jerk off, I think bad things happen. Like they get aggressive, they fight people. Yeah, sometimes I get a little antsy,

and then I've messed up once, and I did it, and then I was like, am I going to hell? Yeah, you should have do that. There are times if I'm not getting laid for a while. And then I cried. I was like, I'm a bad person. If I'm not getting laid for a while,

I start having thoughts, I'm like, oh, no, I need to go get laid or something. Yeah. Well, I think it's like, yeah, definitely don't be hard. Like, I don't think there's any part of the Bible that wants you to be hard on yourself or any of that. I mean, I don't know. No. Yeah. That's a weird God to be like, I'm going to put

all these temptations when you fuck them up. Yeah. It's really pissed at you. God loves you and is with you. Yeah, and these are all people that wrote the thing. It's like, you know what I mean? It's like all these people wrote a book and they're misinterpreting a lot of it, but some of them are on to something interesting. It's like, it's like anything,

you know? So it's like to think that one person, like, it's not all of the Bible is the word of God. It's all the word of God in the sense that it's like all thoughts come from him, I guess, right? But are you looking to me? Yeah, you know what I was a bit. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, it's like the word of God.

But it's like if 10 of us like... So there's some churches that, you know, like after a reading, people will say the word of the Lord or something. Right. Some places will, instead of that, say, hear what the spirit is saying to God's people. Oh, okay. Instead of saying, this is the word coming down. Right.

You know, instead it's like God's saying it through the people. Right. Yeah, yeah. They're like not like giving them inspiration. Inspiration rather than like saying like someone being a conduit or a go like a like a, I don't know, like a exorcism thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like being possessed by something.

Oh my God. Yeah. But it's like. This is going to happen to you ask me. But it's like it's like the same. What is it like a like it's like the same aspects that you feel bad for that could be the same aspects that could make a gay person feel bad for being gay could just for their own like. I know. I was like, I don't want to, because I, yeah, because I was like, if I mess up, then I feel so bad. Yeah, but that's, but you're human. Yeah. That's kind of like a big thing in

Christianity too is that like you're going to mess up over and over and that's okay as long as you wreck it. I mean, like in life, you're going to mess up in life over and over again. Yeah. And you just think you're going to become Christian. You just make no mistake. I'm like, I'm going to be a nun now. I'm going to baptize her on camera. Yeah. Yeah, I should get baptized. Do I have to get baptized? Jesus said you have to, yeah. Have you been baptized?

Yeah, yeah, but I'm not religious. I've never gone baptized. Oh, okay, then. Well, then don't come on here pretending you're a Christian. You're not like us. Yeah, us bros. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't even try.

Yeah, I got to go get baptized. I mean, if you want to. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you're really, I think you're misinterpreted. Like, God's not. out there. I don't think just like SB got this. Your interpretation's wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been trying to follow it as closely as possible. This might get weird. She might be doing weird like food stuff. Yeah. It's not a rule book. Yeah. It's a book about like who you are inside. But I think it's been helping me be a better person.

I don't know you had a singing voice. Yeah. God, that was nice. Yeah, I made her to music. Damn. That was nice. Yeah. That's pleasant. I'm gay Christian and a musician. What part of the Bible made you feel comfortable with your sexuality?

God loves you. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it says a lot that God wants you to be happy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then you shouldn't be hard on yourself if, you know, he loves. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality too. Never. Maybe they edited that out. Yeah, yeah. It's like, this isn't going to hit.

This isn't going to slap. Yeah, this doesn't slap. Well, there's like weird things, right? Like, the Bible always says these weird things. And it's also all kinds people, so like there's people that wrote it which was like multiple different people and there's people interpreting what they wrote in different languages. So like there's certain things that like, like there's one thing about not lying with another man, but people were like that could have been misinterpreted so many different ways. Yeah, there's so much context to be

around surrounding that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, uh, yeah, who knows, but don't be hard on yourself. And the reason I like the teaching, I like the teaching, Jesus, like his moral code seemed great, you know, for the most part. I was like, this seems like the ideal human being. So I like what Jesus is. was teaching, the forgiveness, especially the forgiveness aspect. The forgiveness stuff is huge. I used to not forgive anybody. I would just hold it all in.

Yeah. And I was like so angry all time. And it took me a while to realize like I can forgive people over time to like maybe I'm angry now and I'm not ready to forgive just yet. I don't have to forgive immediately if I'm not ready. I didn't realize it makes you feel better. I was always like when people are like, it's for you. And I was like, shut the fuck up.

Forgiving? Yeah. Because I would like just hold grudges with everybody. and then now I'm like, oh, it's better for me just to wish them well. And I think as I've gotten happier, I realized when I was like angry all the time, I didn't feel good. So when I see someone that's like a douche, I'm like, they're probably not happy. Yeah, yeah. I just realized you're wearing the cross earrings.

Oh, you're really. This is a totally different, SB. I need to get baptized. You need to get baptized. You need to be careful. ESP is going to come back with like a branding of a cross. Well, I thought babies just get baptized. No, anybody.

Yeah. Yeah, like grown adults get baptized all the time. Do I get dipped some more? Yeah. If you want, yeah. You can dip you in the Hudson. Yeah. Come up with another eye on your forehead.

Be like, she is awakened. I got to ask somebody to baptize me. I know some people. I mean, I could. I'm not saying I should, but like, yeah, any Christian can baptize somebody. My mom baptized me when I was born. When I was born, because she, now this is for a toxic reason, though. She believed in limbo.

Have you ever heard of that? like an area between hell and earth. Yeah, but it's where, well, that's like, there's like purgatory, which is where you go if you're not ready for heaven. That's in Catholicism. I don't believe in that. I think they got rid of that a while ago, too. Catholicism? Yeah.

Have you heard of Limbo? Not Catholicism. Have you heard of Catholic? No, my parents were Catholic. Yeah. You just said that like Catholicism? I thought you were saying they got rid of Catholicism. Oh, no. No, that's here to stay until the end. Yeah. It's too ancient. but, no, like, limbo is where, like, babies go if they were unbaptized.

And they die? Yeah. Like you. Oh, my God. I need to get baptized. It's like a realm of... You're getting focused on all the wrong details. I'm just scary.

And I'm not trying to. I'm like, somebody dunk me right now. But so when I was born, she was scared. Because, like, she, in her heart, she was like, oh, you know, like that, but God wouldn't do that. But then when I was born, you're not taking chances. So she's like, give them to me. And so she was like, all right, you're not going to limbo there.

Damn. That is funny to think about God with just like a handful of babies. He's like, I don't know what to do with these. He's like, yeah. He's like, I can't, I'm not going to throw them in hell, but I'm not in heaven. They're not my kids. Yeah. What do I do?

Somebody left these here. Yeah. Give them to child protective services. Yeah. Damn. So you can baptize people. You can. Not a Christian.

Wait, were you baptized a Christian? I was baptized a Christian. that means I can now baptize. But as an agnostic person, I don't know if I can. You're really supposed to. So depending on like the denomination, you're really supposed to do it with like, like if like you need to at the moment baptize them,

need if you. You can put it on your resume. What, that I can baptize. That's hilarious applying for like it. So well at HR. Yeah. At IT.

We're like, we needed one. Yeah. If anybody fucks at his office, we don't have to fire him. I'll baptize him for give them their sins. You bring back in. Wait, Michael, this is ending with a baptism in your second.

It's like some dawn. This whole podcast. I could. I mean, I could, but you're like supposed to do it with like a priest in front of a bunch of people. Oh. Like at the next opportune time that you have. But I could if you really want to. I would.

Wow. I would do it for you. Aw. I have a question. Did you almost get hit by a bus and now you're becoming religious? No. Is this a clear? Very, very fair.

Yeah. Yeah. Before I let you in the club. Are you doing this for the right reason? Did you just have a come to Jesus? No, I went through a breakup and then I lost a friend and then my uncle died. It was like all I want. That's a great rule of threes.

Yeah, and I was like, oh my God. And then I was like so upset. And I was just like, I don't even know what to do. So then I went to church. Well, and I think that forgiveness, like for me, it's like that helps me a lot with stuff. Because I think that like if you could forgive other people, then I think sometimes you learn how to forgive yourself a little bit. And you're like, oh, this person made a mistake. I could forgive them.

And then I could forgive myself for making mistakes. And then also like, like you were saying about the anger thing. It's like, I'll hate people. And then like, like, one of my bosses is my old job. I'm saying old job because this podcast is backlogged. Next Friday is my last Friday working there. But the woman like just, I can't stand here. But I'm like, oh, she's probably going through something really hard.

And then it allows you to not hate a person because you're like, all right, all those person's annoying the shit out of me. You're like, oh, I can forgive them in a way. And then it makes a – I think a huge problem is. pride of people. Nobody wants to lose an argument. So it like really causes like serious conflict and like just so many aspects of society. Well, especially today since we're so argumentative and everyone needs to pick a side. Yeah, yeah. They're not even allowed room to think on stuff. You know, it's like it's so easy to just like get caught up in your pride like you're saying. Yeah, yeah. And people would just never end the argument because they're, they don't want

to give anybody a little bit of room. And it's like there's also time like in personal relations. I'm sure you guys both have this where like one person doesn't want to compromise slight because they don't want to forgive the other person for something they did. It's like, oh, we would have both been better where we can just kind of brush them off. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've had to forgive myself so much when I was drinking. And so then I'm like, I feel like anytime I've messed up,

I learn something. So I try not to be stubborn, like, because I used to be really argumentative. But then now I'm like, I feel like I learn more if I just chill and like, listen. Yeah. Because I kind of, I also kind of believe, I'm like, I do think everybody's trying their best at any given. moment. So I feel like, I'm like, there's a reason why you're like this. Because even the guy I nearly maced on the train, I kind of felt bad after. I was like, damn, there must be. I'm trying to

figure out the better way to, I look like a crazy person because I do have an anger problem. But then I'm trying to figure out how to not blow up. So like the other day, I was on the train and there were these like girls standing and they were being so loud and they were blocking seating, but they weren't paying attention and the old me would have been like yo what the fuck move over but then i was like just sit down somewhere else and i was just like heavy breathing and i was like what could i do to not be mad at the like i was like trying to figure out a way to talk to them without blowing up and then some lady came on and she saw me like like staring at then she kind of smiled she knew she was like it's annoying and she was like can i sit there and i was like yo this lady's a genius

I was like, but I'm trying to figure out because I blow up so fast. So now there's a little bit of space where I'm like, wait, just don't do anything and then try and find a solution. But sometimes I'm so mad. I'm like, what could the solution be? It takes you out of the connection with people,

which I think is what makes it like, like they say like anger is a sin for that reason. Damn, I've been sitting. You kind of separate you from people. Don't be so hard. No, no, oh my God. I can't baptize you. I can't encourage this.

Damn, I'm sinning now? No, but like, you know, anger, like, it separates you from people. It does. Like we're saying, like, you can get so rigid in your anger that, like, you lose that connection with people. And that was the whole point of Jesus becoming human to connect, like, say, like... Godin to people. Yeah. Yeah.

This is so different from my last episode. Alan Fitzgerald on just like, eh. The history of farting. somebody's asses on. Yeah, but I do love like these religious kids because it is fascinating to me and I think it's funny too because like it's weird with the comedy stuff because it's like

anger can suck because like I like is like a month ago but like I flipped out on a group of women I called them cunts at a show and it wasn't funny in any way but if I'd been less angry because I think there's a way to like and I think people fail a lot of comedy because they're too emotionally attached like they'll like you ever see somebody like a bad

parody of something you're like oh this is just you just hate this person you're making fun of So it's not funny. But it's like, I still want to make fun of people. That's what I like. So it's like somebody can annoy you in a way, but not anger you. And you can or just get you in a certain way that I want to be able to like, oh, okay, I can see something silly about them, but also not dislike them. I've gotten too mad at people before too.

Now I'm way more like relaxed on stage. Because I was, I also realized, I was like, sometimes people just don't know. Yeah. They're like dumb. And then I'm like, there's a way to like make fun of them while keeping it lighthearted. Because I've like ripped into people and everybody's like uncomfortable. Yeah. And then now I'm like, okay, you can.

can do this in a nice way. Yeah, or you can be like you're exactly, it's like, you can like make fun of something because like I don't ever feel like, like I do like making fun of things, but you can make fun of things with like a lack of animosity

towards it and just be like, oh, this is just something I'm joking about. Totally. And like this is just my funny viewpoint on this, but it's not like me being like this person's a fucking idiot. I'm just like this guy has a man bun and I'm going to make fun of it. Sometimes I go into a show thinking like, oh, I'm angry. I can rant about this and then I'm like wait

I don't want to be angry in front of all these people I want us to have It doesn't really work sometimes For sure he works I think Tim Dillon just Rip into a woman who's the funniest thing ever seen He was so mean that it's so but it takes A long time to get there Yelling's hard even yelling about Bill

Burt like how like people were telling him it's going to be a while till you can figure out your you know how you can make your rage funny But he's so lovable Yeah and he probably worked to that yeah Yeah. You know, like, and I've heard him say, too, like, like, I'm not actually angry when I'm up there.

He says, like, if I'm angry, then it turns into a bad show. Because, like, he's not having fun. He's just being angry then. Like, I can relate to that. If I'm just, like, oh, we're not having a good time. People can kick up. People can kick up. People can kick up.

People can't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they can sense, like, they start to get a little afraid. Their instincts kick in. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, uh, yeah. I agree. Thank you. Wait, what else is this? Keep drawing everything to a serious. Wait, wait, what all their sins are there?

There's anger? Um, okay, these weren't like recorded down. Like, people like compiled these. Yeah, yeah,

the hits of sin. The hits. So, is that in the Old Testament? There's, okay, lust, greed,

uh, anger, pride. Um, leather skirts. Yeah. Yeah. Crystals.

No. I'm like, do you have new clothes? Guys, I need to focus. Pride, greed, lust, gluttony, eating, like eating too much. Damn, I love eating. Well, eating. S.V.

This is your addict personality taking over other aspects. You're getting addicted. Well, I've seen that happen to people, too. Like, they get addicted to, like, Christianity or religion or something. And they're just like, it's like, they get, they delve into it or something. Well, here's the thing. And I'm not saying that's you.

I'm not. Okay. Don't. But I've been, so I've been using it, but I've been comparing it to quantum physics too. Because what is it called? What's the thing like you,

do you guys know anything about quantum physics? No. No. I don't know what any of that means. What? No. No. They kind of go together.

But quantum physics is like, they, it's like. Physics is like motion, right? It's like, yeah, but this one's, this one's like very on like a tiny level like in the atom but there's certain things that happen

that they don't really know how to explain it's just been observed but it's like if you act on something like let's say I touch this and then it has an effect on something in like California or China or whatever butterfly effect kind of yeah but there are like real studies but I just noticed like if you like if you change your energy like kind of how I've been like getting religious and then my energy's changed, it's like opened up a lot more for me with people. I don't know if that makes sense. Yeah. But there's a lot of quantum physics that I feel like connects with religion.

And what, like, I'm not seeing the connection, but. Yeah. Yeah. I've tried so hard. Like, so basically what I, okay, so I feel like, okay, here's an example. So my parents aren't like getting along with my brother right now. and then he's just like not talking to them anymore and they were like, we don't know what to do.

He's not stupid. He's a person. But I was telling them, I was like, what I think you need to do now is like forgive him because I think that energy change will affect him without you like talking to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think that when I like have a shift in energy because I feel like there were people in comedy I would, I like had beef with. And then like I was like, oh, I forgive them. didn't go up to them. And then some people came up to me. Like in one night it was like two people. And they were like, oh, hey, sorry.

Like, we like cleared it up. And I was like, that's crazy because I didn't do anything. You know what I mean? Right. I just, but I feel like it, something had changed in me. And then that changed for them.

That's a good point. Yeah, I never had those physical. I only have the beefs in my own head. I'm looking at somebody's real. I'm like, fucking hack. So that'd be weird to forgive them. Be like, look, I forgive you for. Well, you could forgive them in the privacy in their home.

Yeah. But I don't mean like You don't have to like To help them Yeah you have no idea how many nights They would just hate watch It was a problem I'd send reels to be

I muted everybody Yeah like like fuck this guy It's crazy and I'm like all right And then I eventually got to a point where like Now if I think something's like But I still will make fun of things In like a non spiteful way Where I'm like this is hilarious

Like there was one of this guy Who's doing like the typical crowd work And he's like you guys should fuck And then it escalates to And this is that anybody we know. This is somebody randomly. And the video's going viral. So I'm not the only one commenting on it. But then the guy gets a whole audience to call the guy like a pussy-ass bitch. And like they all just were ready to do it. And then some random guy gives the guy on stage like Patron and then a strobe light comes out. And I was like, this is wildest thing.

But I can see it from like a funny perspective. Be like, all right, this is hilarious. Like it is hacky, but I'm like, it's very funny. But I'm not going like, look at this guy up at the worst. I was at the pair looking at the wall recently. And I was like. Oh, I remember. I was there. I was like, I was like, I should be on this wall. I'm like, I am on this floor. My picture's right over there. I was like, why was I looking at spite with a person? I was like, what is it? Yeah.

Or like, I'll look at shows and I'll be like, oh, why don't I do? And I'm like, I've done that show twice. Why am I mad that I'm not booked on it this week? It's crazy. Yeah, it's like a mentality sometimes. For sure. And it's directly correlated with how I feel about myself and how the whole thing. It always is.

I feel like the way people treat you is the way they feel about themselves. Yeah, yeah. I do feel bad. We do, because we start a little later. We're going to have to wrap up pretty soon here. Oh, because of Aspie? Wow. I'm not going to forgive that.

I think you're sending a lot, SB. Well, I have to leave, too, because I'm glad you said that, because I have to host Old Man Hustle. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, Lower East Side or Brooklyn? Brooklyn. I was going to go to Brooklyn for that. Oh, hell yeah. Where are you going?

I'm cleaning up, and then I might end up there at some point, so maybe I'll run into that. I'll baptize you on the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll sneak you in. Yeah, don't do it with any water in New York. I mean, I guess the tap water is the best year. The tap water is great.

Yeah. Like a puddle in the subway. Maybe I'll just like Any pool though I don't trust any pool in New York The chlorine I don't think that's a part of baptism No

I mean I don't think it's anti-baptism It's a symbol Yeah It's a fucking symbol Should I get distilled water? Yeah It's got to have Christ in it

So if you could find some of that Which you can in New York You can find anything here Well there's no I'm just joking It's literally a symbol Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so there's Holy Water is just a sit where there's no

specific way that, but just by it. I can't order it off Amazon. Yeah, you could. You can order anything off Amazon. Holy Water. Yeah, you can order like communion wafers off Amazon. That's a fun appetizer to just have.

I just had a, bring it to like a, like a Super Bowl party. I brought to win. That would be such a power move. Yeah, a Super Bowl party with a bowl full of communion wafer. And people were just like,

Just dipping it in buffalo chicken dip. Give it some flavor. Dipping in hummus or something. Just water, just shove it down. You'd be really awkward about it, though. There's like a Jewish guy. They're like, I see you didn't have any of the wafers. Wait, do I have to drink wine?

What? Do I have to drink wine, though? No, people do grape juice. Or the bread's enough, too. Yeah, yeah. You just have the bread because there are people who are. The body of Christ. Yeah.

The blood of Christ. Yeah. Yeah. So the blood's the wine. Yeah. and the body is. Yeah, you can just have whatever. I realize.

Because there are some people who are, like, gluten-free, so they'll just drink the wine. And then there's also gluten-free wafers, too, which tastes horrible. But to your poor one earlier, it's all symbolic. So you don't, like, there's... Yeah, that you're part of, like...

So I can use, like, a cheese knit or something? No. There's a lot of Christianians that don't even do communion. Yeah. So you don't have to. We do got to wrap up, though. Sorry.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. What do you guys want to promote? Instagrams? Na-man Frank on Instagram. Instagram. 2Ks,

not three because that would be weird. And not one because a girl took that. S-B-R-D-N-A-R-I-V-A-D-E-N-E-I-R-A. Perfect. All right. Thank you. This was a lot less pedophile jokes

than normally. But it was awesome. All right, peace.