Morning Good - Do You Keep Your Timbs On? - Episode 22

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Thanks to Adam and Lawrence for coming on and telling some great stories. Check them out and give them a follow to see any shows they have coming up.You can find Lawrence on Instagram @lawrencercomedy and Adam on Instagram as well @adamhmada_. Make sure to also check out Lawrence's Great Interracial Baking Show on YouTube and Adam's Jerry Springer episode with former guest and friend of the show Ryan O'Toole.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Yeah, yeah, we're going. Is it? Welcome to the morning. Yeah. All right, sweet. You say something? All right.

Wait, say hey again. Hey. How are you doing, my good sir? It was off. It was off. I missed all this fire. That good shit. That good shit. Yeah.

No, it was weird. We had that like, me and Adam know each other, but we had that just kind of like, we were almost running out of things to talk about. You see someone so much. Should I look at my phone? That's how it go, bro.

Dude, that was the worst. I went to a funeral with one of my, like, best friends. And we, the next day I was booked on the same flight as my buddy. And we ran out of shit to talk to. And I was like, we really buried our friend yesterday. Well, what else did it talk about when you bury somebody? I wanted to save the conversation for what more's got here. It's a good shit.

No, that wasn't you. Save the exciting shit. Yeah, I just have to sleep. It's also like... It's a good pot. Yeah, yeah. There's also, I don't know, something about just like two dudes in a apartment. Like, it's not weird, but you're just like...

You're not... I take my dick out? Like, what's going on? Yeah. Yeah. Are we making food? Like, what's up? Yeah.

Yeah, my girlfriend gets weird about that stuff. She, like, she thinks, my dude dates are gay i go on dude dates like my old uh my old roommate we went to go see godzilla and time is the date dude dates just call it hanging out I know I know I do wife who had to make a term for everything it is a little gay but uh and then I went hiking with my other friends and she's like two dudes

hiking she's like I mean that's kind of weird though yeah it is but I didn't realize it until she said I'm like yeah I think your girlfriend thinks you're gay yeah I think she's with a gay man that's what it happens yeah maybe yeah I don't know And Mike's like, well, let's be honest. Yeah, I didn't mean to, like, zone off for a second look off. He's thinking about everything he's done gay. He's like, well, our dicks were out, so I don't know it could have been in the...

He digs by me fool. I think I owe him something. I've done a lot of things, but that's how I know I'm not gay. You got to do some gay things to know you're not gay. Like what? Like what? Just, I feel like, like, middle school pranks? No, no, no.

It's too gay. It's too gay. It's too gay. I feel like middle school pranks were like, if you were fucking with somebody, you'd shove like a stick in their ass. Not like all the way in there. We did middle school friends. We didn't do that. I think even as a gay dude, I'd be like, oh, no, I fuck that.

That's a little too much. I think the white community was aggressively influenced by the jackass movies. Yeah, yeah, you like to hit nuts a lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember playing football. Did that all the time. Yeah, yeah.

You're just standing on a silent and white dudes just come through a nuts act. Yeah, no, it was endless. Yeah. The lot of one was very gay in football. Yeah, yeah, that's very gay, yeah. Because of you guys, not because of us. No, yeah. No, yeah.

No, no black does do a gay shit. Yeah, that was definitely a white guy thing. It's like that you guys don't give a fuck about being gay, but black dudes care so much to what's too gay. I remember when I realized white dudes were different. My mom put me in like swimming lessons when I was young. All the white dudes would just, when they were changing,

they would just get like naked. Have you ever been to? Like they would have put a towel on? Yeah, but they would just get naked next to each other. I was like, that's crazy. I remember going to the gym when I was young with my dad and the white older dudes were just walking around with no towel on. Also, all the Chinese.

men. Old Chinese men? They don't go fuck. Yo, just dicks flopping around. They realize that the dicks size is small. They don't give a fuck no more. Yeah, yeah. You gotta respect the confidence. It's whatever. They don't care. It's more people that have small dicks to get fully naked, I feel like. Yeah. I think that's the pressure

of being black, though. Like, you want to choose out, but it has to be like a good size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it's pressure. The funniest is a great-as conversation to start with. Yeah, yeah. It's a weirdest conversation to start with. But it's like, yeah, if you're known for having small dicks,

you shit's above 40. You're like, yeah, I'm fucking killing it. Yeah, I'm killing it. This is a good day for me. Yeah, exactly. That's got to be a good thing going into it if you're an Asian guy because girls are just going to assume you have a smaller penis. When you mentioned a girl, does you care about that? What's up?

When you mention your girl, does you care about your dick size? Not, not really. You're talking like you're implying he has a small dick. No. He's white though. He's white though. He's like, it's not small. He's not a average chick.

But you care about your small little dick. Yeah. Baby carrot dick. Mike has a nice apartment. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's because I'm sharing with her. Orr's just looking for shit to rob. I don't rob my friend. I do not rob my friends. That's a part of it, Mike.

Yeah, yeah, you're out. They're pretty hard. He's like, what's in that fridge? I'm always surprised with comedians have good places they live. Yeah, it's a pandemic year, baby. That's pandemic, man. That's 100%. It's crazy to me. And I almost like, I'm mad I didn't sign a 15-month lease on this. I did 12, but they gave us the opportunity.

No, 12 months is always smart, bro. You never know. Yeah. You never fucking know. Yeah, that's true. Month-to-month and shit? Or you just straight-laced? No, no. Well, I, yeah, I paid a month to month.

Okay, so that's smart. It's smart. But I think right now, it's like, if you like the place, 24-month lease, it might be like two-year-es-old. Two-year-old. Speaking of black dudes and not being too gay, that shirt, I remember. That's how I knew that was a good shirt right there,

that one right there. Because I wore it, and you gave me a compliment. But also, a gay guy gave me a compliment. And it's like, if it's- In all corners. Yeah, I was like, it's- But what compliment means more to you? With fashion?

It's both. Gay. Go gay. Gay comments. But I know it's not too gay because a black guy said it looked cool. I know it's not too black because a gay guy said it's cool. But as a black dude, even when a gay guy commented, you're like, I'm doing something good today. Yeah.

He went out his way to comment. That's way better than a woman compliment. Unless you look like shit because then you're like he just wants to fuck me because I have ketchup on my shirt. I don't think he would comment you. He's just like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Straight forward. It's the only thing straight about them. But it's straightforward is fuck. It's straightforward is fuck about it. Yeah, that's very true. Because they would just say you want to fight. And it was a friend of mine, so obviously I knew he was trying to fuck me.

But like... What? If it's a friend, does that really count, though? If I fucked him? If it's a gay dude and it's a friend, did that count of the good... But how often do you give your boys compliments on their clothes? If they fly, I'll give them compliments. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. It's like if they're flying. Yeah, yeah. That's true. And gay dudes are... They'll straight up. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, because I was saying, if he wanted to fuck me, he would just be like, you want to fuck, yeah.

Like when a gay comic goes upstate and they talk about how many times they can get free hair all the time We're men Yeah, yeah He's still a man at the end of the day He's not gonna be around the bush Like a woman

Yeah And you can also get that That's a rule on comedy You could sexually harass dudes Yeah That was progressive And misogynistic At the same time

He was like he's like They're still men They're men They're not like fucking women though Yeah Come on me baby We even introduce this shit

Mike No one's usually You start with introduction Well I said I'm here with Lawrence and Adam. Did I not say that? I don't think so. We got right into the dick talk before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's great. We had to cover it. You got to get over the way, man. Yeah. Lawrence is here with the Andrew Yang campaign, right? Yes, sir. Asians are outside right now.

Yeah, yeah. They're hyped. You're representing. Wait, so can you tell them what happened, by the way? Yeah, of course. It's not like it's illegal or not. But I forgot. It was like, I think it was Monday.

It was Monday. And we had just left Nichols, Mike, because he doesn't show on Monday. And it was just over. And then somebody was like, oh, Chappelle's in New York because you have to stand. So me and Leo and Amar was like,

all let's go. I want to go see Chappelle. We're outside waiting for Chappelle like you do because we all love Chappelle. It's a fact. If you're a comic and you want to see Chappelle. Yeah, but did he tell jokes, by the way, because I would be so pissed if I saw Chappelle.

I didn't get to go in. Oh, okay. But I did say. Derek Dresher saw him the other day. He said he did a whole set, like, Howard, just jokes. Yeah, and did some show on the end. randomly take like 30 minutes

I think the last 20 Yeah But I think when Chappelle Was the stand It's like a mic for him Yeah He's just working on new shit But I also heard he was charging

200 bucks Yeah that's a fucking nuts People were like That's gotta be something crazy Because he's gonna tour With Joe Rogan is less than that Yeah yeah Yeah so maybe he was filming

I don't know Probably like the stand Had to take a cut There was limited capacity They were only supposed to like Put like And he was downstead He was downstead too

So it's like That better be going to like They were just said When we got there They had people When you go inside, they were sitting right there because they couldn't get in. That's how the capacity was. We were just sitting outside kicking it.

And I didn't even know it was Andrew Yang ever because I'm not going to- They all look the same to you. I was supposed to say it. They all look the same. He was regular, regular gear and shit. You have to edit that out. That's a joke right now. Regular gear and shit.

And we just, first thing that's funny, Leo said, you were about the wrong people, pop. But the wrong people, my guy. And then Miles' point out of like, that's Andrew Yang. We're like, no, it's not. He took his hat off And he had his face mask Say Yang Gang Oh yeah

All right Well who the fuck wears Their own face masks Yeah Yeah Like do you need people To know you that Yeah because you'd assume it's somebody else now

Yeah I'm like tacky to The crazy thing he said He said you guys want to take pictures We're like no You guys are now He's like come on fuck that Yeah

Who the fuck are you Who are you? Really? Yeah Who the fuck are you? Just take pictures He probably walked away He's like I hate black people

But before Like that 30 second clip was like the nice part of it. We were just, we were asking him positive questions. We were like, Leo was pressing them, Miles was pressing them. Yeah. I remember he said something in the article one time. He was like, he was going to help the Knicks become a championship team. I asked him like, who you know?

Yeah. On the next day, you're going to make a championship team. He was like, I never said that. I was like, lying ass motherfucker, bro. You're a lying-ass thing. I saw I call him that. Yeah. And then Miles was like, you should ask him the question, the famous question you do and shit.

I was like, I recorded. But we asked permission first. Like, can we, we film a show outside? Can we, and he's like, sure. Yeah, I don't know if he knew that was going to come next. Yeah. But we was like, sure, you know? And then we asked him and the viral moment happened.

Wait, can you say the question? Can I keep my tens on? When you're fucking a woman in bed, I always ask, can I keep my tims on? And he just gets so funny because he gets so, like, nervous. Yeah, yeah. He's like, well, if it's consensual, a lot. He tried to give his little politics question. Yeah, yeah.

And then he's a little politics question. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he laughed first, and then he realized it on a camera. Yeah. And then the next day, it was so funny because the next day, like, he got so slammed in the newspapers where it's like... I didn't think that would happen. Me neither. I wasn't expecting that either.

It was that controversial. But it was like the way the media tried to, like, like, they were like, oh, Yang supports sexual assault. I wasn't expecting it to go that crazy. Because I remember I had the video, I was going to video. But it was on my phone and shit. I had the video. He was dropping now. I was like, nah, something like this.

you wait to tomorrow when it's hot when it's hot because I'm like it's not because my was like it's something near yeah he was like that's a moment

I was like I'm gonna get a couple of likes I don't know it's crazy now I knew it'd go viral I didn't think you asked Andrew Yang a politician

if you chokes bitches like that I didn't think he was super hot in the streets like that though with the politics like hell yeah

he's big he ran for president bro yeah but I didn't think it was gonna be like that though yeah if I asked Trump maybe yeah

yeah Oh, yeah, yeah. He's like, have you not heard what I said, young man? Yeah. Trump would be like, I'll choke a bitch right now. He's like, I'm choking. He's on sexually. Oh, I thought he took on the street.

And then I put it on my YouTube the next day. Yeah, yeah. And it went crazy. I think it was like 45K right now. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. Like, what the fuck? I was just dying laughing at the fact that there's old white men in boardrooms trying

to figure out what the fuck to keep my tens on me. No, because what was hilarious was. The fucking the articles, they made it sound like super proper and shit. They were like, he asked if he could, you know, commit coital intercourse with timber and boots on. That's not what the fuck I said. It's like, that's what the fuck. They're trying to like make it sound mad proper. I was like, you know what I just said, bro?

I said, keep my thimbs like, do you fuck bitches and choke bitches? That's why I said at all. You don't even know where I get that phrase from. I was like, I get that phrase because my brother. Growing up, he always just said when you fucking in a bit you want a really fucker, make sure you keep your timet. make sure you keep your tims on. Yeah, yeah. That's what I get that phrase from.

Good grip. That's right. You need attraction. And that's like a common thing, though. I think a lot of porn with black dudes in it. They're wearing timbs. Mr. Marcus. I remember that dude.

He used to have his tims on, but his jeans. You said it like it was like your dad's friend. Mr. Marcus. Down the street, Mr. Marcus. You taught me my stroke in. When you're black and you grow, and you see porn, your first porn is like these certain people.

Yeah, yeah. I remember Mr. Marcus, you always have tem zone. Every video was Temz on. Yeah, yeah. And he had jeans, always, like, at a certain length. He never took his jeans off. Wait, so he would just fuck with his pants around his ankles? Yeah.

But the shit he would say it was... That feels uncomfortable. Exactly would get disruptive. He could fall. Yeah. But he always... It's the way he would say the woman that was the funny shit. He'd be like, and me spit in you, I'm going to spit back, and I'm going to keep spinning you.

It's going to get wet... What the fuck did that mean? This explains a lot about Lawrence, man. What the fuck does that mean? But that was just a funny-ass moment, bro. Our favorite was a... Mugbone. You ever see that guy?

We found out later it was a fake dick. It's a wild name. O.G. Mudbone. That's what a nigga in prison. He would fuck this girl. And then he would be like, it was like a paper. The beginning of the video was funny because he's sitting in his car and this like slutty male woman's like, we have child support checks for O.G. Mudbone. And he's like, yo, that's not me.

That's not me. You know, porn is the worst actor's ever. Oh, yeah. Because they act like we don't realize it's porn. Like we click on the video for a reason. Yeah. At first, the scene where they bring pieces, it's like, I'm bringing a piece of...

I always fast forward. I'm like halfway through the blow job. That's not what I order. He's like, well, I have a dick. Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. Like, we know that one's coming next, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's just funny to think that somebody put like child support checks to OG Mudbone. Like that you're like, what's his government name? Yeah, he had a OG Mudbone. But then he fucks her. It's so funny. That's a ill name, though.

Because he just goes, special delivery from OG Mudbone, bitch. That was his phrase? Yeah. Yeah, and it's like a perfect, like, it would be great for, like, in a song. Like, it would be, like, a great sample. I think it's a great rap name. Yeah, OG Mudbone.

And then he comes, like, buckets, but then you find out later on it's like a fake dick with, like, a hose. Really? How does you have a fake dick? Like a strap on? Yeah, well, it's like they, like, angle it. I'll pull it up. You don't have to. You don't have to.

I want to see a man's dick. But it's not. It's a fake dick, but. It's still kind of gay. It's porn. I want a man, though. I don't want to see that part. He watches his only trans with him.

I know. He's like, if they're not trans. It is technically straighter than... What, trans? Yeah, watching a trans girl. It is. Fuck a girl. Because it's a girl with tits.

Fucking another girl. I agree. It's still, I'm not about it. Yeah, yeah. Still weird. I know one kid, he was like, he's like, I don't watch, he's like, I don't watch, he's like, I only watch, like, cam girls. He's like, because watching regular porn is like, it's like you're cucking yourself.

Yeah, everybody's a cuck when they watch porn, because you watch a man and fucking woman. Yeah, but if you watch POV. You just don't. You just don't think about it. Yeah, you're doing the most with that, like that's... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're also putting yourself...

You still technically a cuck, though. Yeah, but you're still putting yourself in that position. But that's not my girl. Exactly. You know, that's... Yeah, but cucked just means it doesn't have to be your girl,

it's to be anybody. Yeah, because it's like, if you're having, like, a for some, you're not getting cucked by the other people because you're like, I'm fucking. Just because you're fucking over there and I see you, doesn't mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You're just lonely. What are the rules are the... You see your girl in the porn over there. That's crazy. I got a phone call of me. Who the fuck is this? Could you be with porn star, though?

I got to ask this on a couple of episodes. I don't think so. I could be on a girl that maybe did it a couple times, or I could be with a girl that maybe did Playboy, which is like pose nude because I don't really care. Everybody, some girl is going to pose nude at some point. I get jealous, man. I don't think I could.

But when you were with her and this is a girl your dreams and then you would find out she did porn. Yeah, that would change it for me. But this is what... For real, you would drop. I don't know if I would drop her Like you got questions though Dude that yeah

That would fuck with me Damn I would fuck him I think my thing though is If I fucked her After she's fucked porn stars And she's like You fucking good at fucking

Then I would be like That's a real compliment Because if she had I hear that a lot But porn star They do it like You know If somebody does something

At work They don't do it like that In regular life Yeah Like it's like a cop When he's at work He's always in control When he's at home

He's fucking Mellowed out and shit Yeah That's not what I heard from Cops' wives I've heard Yeah They can't talk right now.

Get their last quota out. No, no, no. No, I get what you say. But that would be weird if they're like really nervous when they're actually having sex. Like, okay, they got this, but then they're like, I don't know. Cops? No, no, porn stars. The expectation is very high for them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want the best in my life. It's just crying at the foot of the bed. Yeah, it's just like for us when someone finds me come in, we have to be as funny as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. Like, we could. And then I fucks with me.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it is great when you kill in like non-comic settings. It's almost more intimate where like you have a good joke with a group of people. Yeah. But then sometimes you bomb in front of actual people. It's just weird that we're allowed to say what we want when we say we're a comedian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if I said a rape joke and I didn't say I was a comedian, it's fucked up. And when I say I'm a comedian, it's like, oh, he's a comedian. Yeah, yeah. People do give it more slack. How does that change the fact that it's a rape joke? Yeah. Well, I think everybody... It's like comics, it's like you do, you make jokes more.

It's like you know jokes, you know? But it's also because we make better jokes. jokes. Like, you know, the average person doesn't make the best. Our mind is... We're doing this every day, yeah. Our mind is trained different. Yeah. Just look at shit different. I have some friends that like, they'll hang out with comics and then they'll try.

That's not how it works. But they could just like suck. It's not how it works, bro. It's cringy. They'll be like, what are we raping chicks here? And you're like, that's not a joke. What? That's not how it works. Because we didn't do that to be what we knew before that. Yeah, yeah. Don't do that to me. Yeah, yeah. I just want to bring people around. Like, when you say you're a comic, now people look

at you different. Yeah, yeah. You have to be funny no matter what. Oh yeah, the worst is like with my parents shit, I'll be at like a nice dinner party, and I'm like, I'm not gonna do kind of jokes for these people. You know what I mean?

They don't want to hear about fucked up shit. Yeah. Uh-huh. You just meet like a new person and they see you as shit. They're like, oh, you gotta be funny at all times.

Yeah, yeah. Like, I just like enjoy my Sunday, the fuck? Why don't be funny now? Yeah, yeah. That's what I feel, especially around my girlfriend's family

because like, they don't think I'm funny at all. Really? Because I don't make jokes around them. I'm not like constantly like... Yeah, I'm around. You're not trying to, though, either. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, I'm trying to still be cool with y'all. So I can enjoy your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to throw a rape joke while being shrimp. Yeah, yeah. It works. Not that works at all. The whole dinner. Exactly.

Anything else, Michael? Anything else you want to tell us? Also, I totally unrelated to that. I'm going through a fucked up thing. I got a random letter. I got an email and a text message that said they overpaid me for my unemployment back during the lockdown. Allegedly.

I'm trying to... Allegedly. I heard a couple people who have gotten those emails. Really? Yeah, yeah. So what the IRS coming up for you? Yeah, but I'm like, that's fucking retarded.

Because, like, how... That's on you. It's like, you gave me the money. Yeah, it's like, do you think... And it's like, obviously, I spent it on... It was so funny because it was right after I bought six flags tickets. I almost feel like they're spying on me. This motherfuckers go to see.

Six flags is not cheap. Yeah, they're like, he's blowing this money. He needs that. We need some bag. I feel like I heard a comment make a joke about that recently, too. Like, they overpaid me. Oh, yeah. something like, oh, well, nothing else I can get my money?

Can I get my college? Yeah, yeah. Get done or something shit? It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, it's your fault, bro. Yeah, it's such a dick move. And I'm like, I don't even know what to do. I mean, yeah, I don't know what the answer is because I'm like, I feel like the best

thing you could do is just save it just in case they want it back. Yeah, yeah. The IRS come for you. Yeah. I'm going to try to fight it though because like this is literally insane. Yeah, that's like I spent this money thinking, I bought dumb shit. How much did they overpay you though? They haven't told me yet.

They're like, we'll get a letter in the mail. about it. But I'm also, because a lot of people I'm wondering if it's a scam thing. Like, do you think it's legit or do you think it's a... Make sure. Call up the unemployment office. It's impossible to get through, but like, you know, yeah. Yeah, make sure. But I did hear a lot of people getting emails like, I've definitely heard that from other people.

Yeah. That's like, that's your fault. Yeah, exactly. It's over. If I give a homeless do $20, then you ask for a dollar, I can't get back now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave it to him already. Yeah, yeah. Especially if he spent that on it on Crackeray. What do? I should just tell... Bro, I can get un-hide.

I got my money's worth it already. The fuck. Yeah, I should just tell them, yeah, I don't know. I'll tell them to go to my weed deal. You know what I'm like, how? That's where you're money. That's where it's bad in fucking food. We'll smoke this eighth.

It's legal now, too. They'll talk to them. We being legal in New York is crazy. Yeah, I'm purposely a dick about it. Like, I'll do it so publicly now just because I can. It's weird, too. We've been doing it for, like, the whole summer already. Yeah, yeah.

You didn't really like, I was like, I, whatever. I've been rolling up in front of cop cars since, like, COVID. Yeah, yeah. don't really care anymore. It's just fact that there is a dispensary going to be soon here. Yeah, that's going to be crazy.

I'm just realizing you expensive. You've been on the cover of two articles now. What's the second one? In the protest, there's a lot. Yeah, that was there, man. Yeah, that was crazy.

I just couldn't get the fame for that one because I was on the investigation that time. Oh, okay. I had like five charges for them. They were looking for me. Oh, like, get them, get them. They went to my mom's house looking for me. My mom's like, he's not here.

That's funny you can pull that. I know some kids that they broke into a middle school, totally trashed it. And the cops came to their house. We have this footage of you. And they were like, that's not me. And the cops just couldn't do anything about it. They had footage.

They just couldn't find my address. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I still keep my address at my mom's crib. Right, yeah. I got my own place. I don't put that in my address just in case I move around and I'm in trouble. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. But when I was in the courtroom, well, the court was on Zoom,

but when I went to see my lawyer and shit, he showed me a video that was on TikTok. And he said, like, magic He's like, oh, this is you, right here? How funny it would it be if he's scrolling through his own There's, like pictures of 15-year-old's twerking. He's like, not that one, not that one. Oh, my God.

This is the way he told me, like, this is you right here? This is you? And he's like, this is my favorite part, too. He went like that. Was he a white cop? You're like, oh, we all look alike now? He's all that guy.

But the nigg was laughing at the fucking time I was in the room. Yeah, it's my favorite part when you get dragged off the car right? Jesus. That shit was hilarious. I was like, oh, my God. he was supposed to be helping me.

Yeah. It was hilarious, though. The comments, the comments were hilarious. They're like, he deserved it. It was like, all the blue lives matter. Everybody was against me at that. You were my friends. You, my friend.

He was like, I knew that was you. I knew that was you. I knew you would ruin New York. The funny and shit, though. Yeah, that was funny, because I was in Florida, the protest, they were so calm. I went to, like, well, I mean, there were his tears. Which is crazy.

It's Florida. Yeah, yeah. But it was also, like, I think we, I don't know, maybe we have less issues. BLM protests in Florida? Yeah, I think it's way more whitewashed out there than anything. Yeah, yeah, a little bit. My favorite was I saw a white girl yell at a black cop,

and she's like, how do you live with yourself? I'm like, how is this? He's like, fine, I'm fine. It's ain't my problem. He's like, you bitch. He's like, miss, I'll kill you right now. That's my favorite too. I saw a girl, one of the cops

is drinking a bottle of water, and she goes, look at him, just drinking his water. I was like, how's he not supposed to drink water? That's crazy. Just because he's a cop, doesn't mean you can't do regular shit. Yeah, yeah. My favorite shit was like,

during the protest, It just kept getting worse and worse where people were just trying to outdo each other. Like, Philly, they stole a tank. I don't fuck do you steal a tank. Minneapolis is on defeat. They burned down the police station. Yeah, yeah.

But see, that actually makes sense because it's those cops, you know what I mean? Yeah, they started it there. Yeah, that makes sense. But the Orlando president is they're very calm. I, it's so funny because I bought a gas mask. And then, but I lost my buddy. So I was just like, at some point I was like,

I just got to go home. And I just gave somebody else my gas mask. I was like, you'll probably use this. Were there a lot of, like, counter-proteurs? What do you mean? Because it's Florida, I would have figured there was... Yeah, yeah, it was cool. They weren't...

I'm probably Florida just knows what it is. Yeah, yeah. We get it, but we're not going to be a part of it. Yeah, yeah. Well, there was, like... You would expect you'd see, like, Blue Lives Matter stuff, but there was... It was pretty common.

Besides, some guy from Jacksonville, they'll try to stab a cop with, like, a syringe or something. Fire. You know, I saw that guy here. It's so funny, too, because I saw that guy earlier at the protest, and then I'm like, oh, that's the guy I saw earlier. But a lot of that's out of town people.

That's always the funniest, the people who come from out of town and they'll just fuck up a different city. I was like my relationship with cops are getting weird as I get older. Because like, after the shit that happened with Yang, we was walking through the train station. And we hopped the train station. And then we saw cops. And he's like, oh, that's that nigga.

That's him, right here. That's him. And I was like, anything you want to say? He's like, nah, don't put my camera. I don't get caught either. That's hilarious. I was like, these are people that tried to kill me last year. Yeah.

What the fuck is happening? That is wild. Yeah. Getting weird, I guess you're getting recognized, man. Celebrity. I guess. I don't want that fame. Cops, yeah, yeah, when cops are recognizing you that.

We still do illegal shit, commies still illegal technically. Is it? No, it's not calling them. We're good, we're back. I don't, I don't think so. I think it's good. Yeah, because the clubs are open and they're, like, official. You're getting arrested for doing an open mic?

That'd be crazy. That'd be the best shit ever. You got to kill, though. Every second of you, Bob. Yeah, if you Bob, yeah, if you Bob. Yeah, yeah. You're like, what else? You're like, good for them.

Arrest him. Yeah, that joke needs to go away. Yeah, I don't know. I've been hopping the turnstile for the last couple months. It's so funny because... Only a couple months? Yeah, I just caught on to it. It's so funny.

I've lived here for so long. I've always paid it. And then randomly, I saw people hop in it. And I'm like, why am I still paying for this? Yeah. But I was like Nick Taylor. It's so funny because Nick Taylor, there's the turnstile, and there's a cop. And he goes, hey, can you please swipe me in?

And the cop swipes him in. And then I was like... No, you can't do that. We just don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, but then I was like, oh, it's so cool. And the next time I was a cop, I'm like, hey, next time I actually did not have my wallet.

That's good. So, like, I wasn't even... I genuinely didn't have my wallet. I was like, hey, could you swipe in the guy? It's just like, mm-mm. And I'm like, God. I will say when white guys go into the turnstile, they're so not aware that he's either a cop or MTA.

Yeah. Because I've been with white comics, and we've hopped. He didn't even look. Oh, yeah. He's just, yeah, he had a margarine in his hand and still jumped the train side. I was like, what the fuck? I just jumped it because he jumped it. I was like, I'm not going to get caught either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, if he did, I might get away with it. Yeah. It's whatever. Not I'll hop if there are cops there. Yeah. Just make sure they're not looking at it. You got to do a smart though.

Like, there's certain station that is always going to be cops there. Yeah. But they're not watching. It's just there. So you got to, like, don't make a loud as noise. Yeah. I've been stopped before because I went to. Of course.

I went to high school here. Come on. Yeah, but I swiped a woman in, and then I didn't realize that unlimited swipes. I thought unlimited swipes for like a limit. No, it's only for you. It's like a certain time limit. Yeah, and then so I had to hop it. And then the cop is like, why'd you do that?

And I was like, I just let in an old lady. And he's like, oh, I guess that's. That's like, it was the perfect. White privilege. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would have still got ridden up for some shit like that. Yeah. You'd be like, is she safe?

Is she okay? You sure you know her? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it gross as shit. I was on the train yesterday. And on the same train cart, somebody had taken a shit on the ground.

And then some dude was pissing. And then some other dude was brown boxing with a cigaro. On the train cart? Yeah, yeah. It's just a mix of smell. Jesus Christ. What train was this? It was the one.

It makes sense. One of the worst trains in New York. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why we say like, every train's bad. It's certain trains that just hit different. Yeah, the A train is the most. The train is the most. The thing I like about the A train, though, is...

I don't know if the A train has this. I like trains where I can... could see the stops. It always pisses me off when I can't see the stop. That's true. And I just got to kind of like, guess. Yeah, you have no fucking idea. Yeah, you just don't know.

You just like, hopefully I just make it. Yeah. Make it live. Yeah. No, J-Train is sketchy because it just go deep in Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Broadway Junction is sketchy, bro. Yeah, you know that fucking stop.

That's just sketchy. Yeah, I don't like bro. The A-go goes through. Yeah, people are stabbing people on the A train, though. I used to stab four people on the same train, bro. Yeah, that's wild. He went back and forth to get his collection. collecting.

Yeah, he went from one end of the train to the other. True story. Did they ever find out what he looks like? Yeah, they caught him. Can I see what he looks like? He was a Mexican, right? He was Mexican, right? No, I think he was a black dude.

He was like, he was like, fuck. The crazy kid, Jamil said he was on the train when he stabbed one of him. Real? Jamil's like, I could have swore I seen that dude. Wait, that's that's funny. He's like, I could have sworn I've seen that guy stabbing people. Yeah, he's like, I was wondering. He was like, I was like, I'm putting my AirPods right there.

It makes sense, though, because like, Jamil does live on that stop. Yeah, but it's so funny to be hearing about somebody killing people on the train, and then if you watch somebody kill people on the train, you're like, I wonder if that's the same guy from the news who's killing people. That's kind of like when my dad's in prison, he looked in the news, and when I got arrested by the call, he's like, I know that. That's my son. It's crazy.

I make a joke about it. It's funny on stage, but like, oh, yeah, yeah. This is weird. My dad's calling me from prison trying to tell me why she'll get in trouble. Yeah, yeah. Like, you're in prison, bro. Like, that's not the same. You can't just pick.

He got tight at the... The cop car shit. He's like... I knew it was coming. I just knew how my dad is. I knew the phone call was coming. And my mom called me and she was like, weren't you supposed to be at work?

Because I left work to get in trouble. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. I was going to work, but I was trying to be fun. And then my dad called... Because my dad is like this. He won't call you the day of. He's going to call you when you're not expecting it.

Yeah. So he called me like two days later. And he was like, you know I'm calling you, right? Like, yeah. Oh, it sucks. And I was like, he's like, so you just think you could just jump on cop cars. He gave you a timeout from prison, man. That's crazy.

Go to your room. He's like, he's like, you think you can just jump on a cop car and shit. He's like, yeah. And he's like, so you just think you're like Superman and you just think that he wasn't just going to get hurt or nothing. You just think I'm okay with guys being you up? Like, I didn't have no marks. That's not why I told you. Yeah.

And he's like, wait until I see you. I'm like, it's going to be a while. It's going to be a while. It's going to be a while. Dude, I was surprised He gets out of prison Just starts kicking your ass He always threads me

I forgot You know my dad's biggest shit Yeah Dude I don't think The only part is you can't call people That are in jail When my buddy's in jail It's so you have to just wait

And I always miss his fucking calls And it sucks Because like he'll call me And then I'll be like Does yours say unavailable Or does it say like a random number? It says like the county he's in It says like whatever county

But I think it says like the city It's like some random ass city of Florida. And you got to do that press 5 and shit. Yeah, yeah. That's just the worst. Yeah, but it's hard to call them back because it's like, you most of I have to write letters. The greatest shit about prison, people don't know you have to pay for people that's in prison. Yeah, yeah, you have to pay for the calls.

For the calls and for where they stay at. You got to pay for that shit. What do you mean? The sale that charges you, not the government. Oh, really? I didn't know that. It's not. Taxpayers.

Yeah, it's crazy. I don't think you directly have to pay for it. Imagine you... No, it comes out of somebody. like they have to pay for them to stay in there too my mom does like pay something for my dad to be in it oh really I didn't know that was the thing

yeah it's a thing for oh that's crazy I don't know anything about politics how that works that does sound fucked up though I come from a good home so I come from a good home too the best it's good it's good

yeah no but the one thing about my buddy though he was apparently so hyped when COVID lockdown happened because he was like all kind of were though yeah he was like dude he's like I'm so I was glad everybody else was locked down while I was, he was like, he was like, because he told me it did suck to hear some of my friends are like, dude, things are going awesome.

Like I just got a new job, I got a new girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's fucked up because like, Derek couldn't get unemployment because he never had like technically a real job before. Yeah, yeah. I was like, damn, that's the worst timing ever. This is the most money we're all going to get ever. Yeah, well, it's crazy.

It sucked for me too because I only had a job in New York for like a month before COVID. So you couldn't get it in New York. But I think I'm worried that that's the issue is that they were giving me New York State unemployment, because I thought I was just getting pandemic. Because it wasn't pandemic $700 a week for a little bit? 600, yeah, 600 plus something else. 600 plus whatever, like the actual unemployment. I think it was like 150 or 200.

Yeah, maybe the... You were balling out, too. Yeah, oh, it was great, dude. I remember the best I went to the beach, I totally blacked out, and I came back with more money than I... Yeah, yeah. Because normally, like, in Florida, like, you go to, like, a beach weekend and you spend so much...

That's the crazy shit about me. The day I got out of the jail you had this. the unemployment hit. Oh, that's perfect. You're like, fuck yeah. You got paid for protesting. I came out. I remember because I got,

Leo got away before me. He got like that night. Yeah. And then he asked to see, like, yo, when is he getting out? He's not getting out for a while.

Dang. He was like, I can't stay then. Yeah. I got like at 10 in the morning. And I'm seeing so many messages and shit. My mom's been on my phone. And I just look and said,

unemployment is active. I'm like, who gives a fuck dude? I'm good then. Yeah, fuck that. money in the bank again. Yeah, yeah. So it was like, it turned out good, dude.

Fuck, yeah. It works out, yeah. Yeah, the government was paying us to protest. Basically. Basically, it happened. Yeah. Yeah, the Florida one was funny

because I went to the first day and then I was like, I did my part. We should be honest about it, though. Oh, I went to the second day I started hand out water bottles, and then there was like an open mic that night, and I was like, I'm gonna go.

That's the crazy shit about that time. At my part. At that time, we were doing open mics and process that night. Yeah, yeah. So it was just so much shit going on. Yeah. It was a time, like, when you were around,

and if you were here at that time, you felt like it was going to be a war at any time. Yeah, yeah. You felt it in the air. It was like, I remember being on, like, 86th Street, during, like, 4 p.m., and they were protesting on second and first, and third, it was cut off,

and only Lexington you can go on. And the cops were coming on Lexington. I was like, something bad is about to happen, bro. They're about to meet. Yeah. Something bad. I remember when, like, we were there for the law. looting. Not that we were looting, but

just being around there, man. It was like, you got a nice shirt on right now. No, I swear to God, I paid for it. No, but it was crazy. It was like, it was like, it was like Harold Square. It was like all the stores were just getting like, yeah, it was fucking great. I remember seeing them try to break into like a jewelry store

and then like the cops pulled up. It was fucking wild man. I never seen New York like that. I remember when we were doing a Times script mic one time and there was a protest. We legit left the mic after it was over to the protest and then come. There was still people doing the mic and they met at Times Square. So we were doing the mic at Times Square

wild protests happened. And the cops ended up fighting at the protests. Oh shit. I was like, this is craziness. This is wild. But go, go, go black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't protest after that. Cop shit happened. No, I was outside, though. I was outside, though. Yeah, yeah. He was like, after that, he's like, I'm fucking good. They're my part. They're my part. Nobody jumped in for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I don't think

I did anything. Like, you know, I was like a show. I was like, I made a poster, but then I'm like, you know what? Hydrated some people. Yeah. You feel like a good slave master. Yeah. You help my team. You know my good blackies out?

You think you could have been a good slave master? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think I would have been good because I think I, I don't know, I'm like, I'm a push over. Really? Well, what is a good slave master? You would have let them have rights. Yeah, it would have been bad.

That's all. I'll pick some kind. I don't feel like it. All right. I can't do anything now. I don't want to be a dick about it. I'm like passive aggressive. I'm like,

if we don't get this cotton picked, my boss is going to be pissed in me. It's going to be bad. He's like, hell of the brother out. I think, look, if you were, like, slavery, but if you were a poor white dude

during slavery, you, he gave him too many choices. He's like, that's why we brought Lawrence. We got locked the door. We gave chances. But dude,

if you were a poor white dude during slavery, you were, you were really fucked up. You really fucked up, during any time, you're bad. But especially, you could buy people.

to do your work for you. They were really expensive. That's how I feel when I'm for real. Apparently it was like, apparently the, like, most people that were, like, decently rich would not have, like, a lot of, like, if you'd have to be. How much was a slave?

We can look it up. Is it a price of slaves? That's fire, though. But it, uh, what was I said? That's my favorite is I have a, I have a friend who, like, said that. He was like, I wouldn't ever own slaves, even if I lived back then.

I was like, are you bragging about doing the right thing? In a totally hypothetical. Tell him to shut up. Like, you would have owned slaves. What do you mean? I want some. Well, it's like, you don't know if he would have been. I'm just mad having to black people.

I would have owned white slaves. The fuck, that's fire. But it's like, you don't know how you would have acted. Like, I don't think I would have. But it's like, you can't just be like, oh, I would have known better back. There's still slavery right now. I'm talking to this one girl. She told me that in her country, they're like, they're like,

get people from, like, Bangladesh and, like, Pakistan, like, poorer countries to come over. And they'll, like, pay them, like, below living wages. No, over there, they don't get a fuck about anybody. Because this is a woman that got sent us to prison for five years for trying to fight for the right to women to be able to drive. But in where? Pakistan. Yeah, but it's like they'll go there because it's like they're like, they get the money.

In Dubai they do it too where they're like outsource labor. But it's like they'll take away their passports as soon as they come into the country. And they were like any money they get like it's like so little. It's not even like they lie to them and they like just like it's slavery. Yeah, it is. But I think now it's more sex slavery. Yeah, sex slavery. Like they're not like go build a deck.

They'll do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because they're catching them and bringing them from here over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's wow. And then obviously you have, like, the sweatshops and stuff like that, which is like similar.

But it said, it said, you know what I'm saying? They made these for me. Everything we're wearing right now. So it comes from a little kid. Yeah, a little Malaysian kid. Yeah. But they got free healthcare, so who gives the fuck, you know? I mean, I don't know about that.

Is that true? They got free health care? I don't know anything about Paul. I feel like that's not true, but I have no, like, I have no way to just do it. Healthcare in other countries and shit? That's what I always heard. If, look, if they got... I know they got in China.

China, China got free health care. Do they really? Yeah, but they definitely have a bunch of child slaves. They got a whole concentration. They got... The Muslims, yeah. Yeah, they got concentrations from China.

Yeah, that's always funny when I hear people like, they're always like, China's not that bad. I'm like, from what I've heard. They got concentration camp. Yeah, that's like... When it comes to the kids, that's what hurts. The kids, bro, when you put kids in,

I don't know what I'm fuck with. Yeah, that's fucked out. Like, adults, they could still defend themselves. A kid can't defend themselves. like a nine-year-old. I've seen videos on Twitter where the parents are still going to work for them,

but the kids have to stay in a cage all day. Like where we're in like the concentration? Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? How you... That's wild. Yeah.

My thing is, though, I don't know what to do about the iPhone thing because I'm like, I don't want to give into it. Oh, by the way, it said $40,000 in today's money is how much a slave would have been

back then. $40,000. In today's money. For a single... Yeah, yeah. We're making a bank a little kid. Who was this money going? It would go to the

Whoever got them the slaves So I guess originally it would be the The African people that got the slaves That's a lot That's crazy Back then No no no no In today's like back then it was like

It was like a Snickers bar It was like a mountain dew or some shit Back then it was like a bubble gum And like a tiny bit of opium I always hate when old people We talk about the prices back then Yeah It was like a hamburger was $2 back then

Who gives a fuck? Yeah It wasn't good though It wasn't good Yeah and it was like You were also like like, you also only had like $2. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's not a great job either. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I remember going to the hood one time. This is one older dude. Hey, we was buying a sandwich and we had a chain. He's like, man, shit has changed. I remember back then you can get like everything for like $5.

I was like, you still got water holes down, bro. Yeah, yeah. It's not the same thing. You still were a slaves. Yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, man. You couldn't talk to our white women like, I. What the fuck?

Yeah, back in the day. It doesn't even out. Candy was cheap. It was worth it. That's fucking nuts. That was the best flavor we ever had. I was like, nah, it's not the same, bro. You couldn't take a metro and sit next to anybody. Yeah, yeah. That's nuts to me, man.

That's, like, that was... That was so recent, too. I mean, it makes sense. I'm just kidding. I mean, the water was cleaner. He's like, I don't want them in my bathroom. What was that? My favorite was...

I had a bit about it. It didn't really work, but it was about, like, we went to George Washington's house. Okay. And this guy was just talking about, he's like, he loved agriculture. He loved agriculture. farming. And I was like, you can't like

have people farming for him. There's no way. I love farming back in 1954. That's what I love it. Yeah. I love just picturing him out of the fields for like two seconds. He's like, this is a blast. You think you guys get the sun. I'm good. I mean, when you look at it, though, white people couldn't have been good slaves because they are not good around the sun.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Wouldn't work for you out, bro. Yeah. I get it. No, I had You can't do it pay somebody? Well, not pay. But, Morris is really bragging like, yeah, black people really made the best slaves. That was really our shoot. I don't really made the best We got shit done.

You got shit done. Yeah. Well, no, my ancestors, from what I understand, some of them were, like, sharecroppers, which were, like, the white. Yeah, I know. I learned about my sharecropper, yeah. So, like, those were white.

They were white. They weren't, like, we're trying to relate to it. They weren't. They were like, we're in this together, but. It's all the same. We're in this together. But I'm saying, like, if they're Irish. So I can't say the N-word.

That's what I'm getting it. Technically. You don't need permission, Adam. But, yeah, I assume they would be getting sunburn all. But I guess your skin probably adjusts to it. That is weird, though, that Whitefield just can't deal with the sun. Yeah, I don't know. So the one thing you really, truly need in his life.

Son, yeah. You can't do it. And I love going to the beach. Yeah. Yeah. Who doesn't love going to the beach? I think he's just out here making stereotypes. You guys like the beach.

Yeah. But that's where you go to, it's the number one, you know. Do you? Do you? Do you? I think it's like the sand. I don't know if you like that. They love the sand.

They love the sand. That's our shit. They bring backpacks to the beach and shit. Like, relax. Relax. It'd be a funny skier Like a TSA on the beach You gotta go through TSA to get on the beach

Yeah but they're like The Muslim women They still gotta like like stay like Yeah If you're like religious They gotta wear the gar I used to have a fucked up joke about that Because the subway

They had those advertisements For the inclusive bathing suits lines Say bathing suits for like overweight women When missing arms And they had a burqa bathing suit And the whole joke is like I think it's so cool That her husband lets her go swimming

And it's like that But I set it up like I love how inclusive the line was and just threw that. She always bugs me out when I see a Muslim woman on the train. And then she has like the flyer sneakers on. I'm like, what the fuck thought her about gay? I haven't seen that. I've seen a Muslim shit.

She had her kids and everything. Hey, Muslim chicks from New York are tough, man. She had phone positives. I'm like, who taught her about phone pilots? They could fight, man. I bet. Yeah. Yeah.

This is a Muslim comic. It's a boxer. A female Muslim comic. It's a boxer. For real? I forget her name, but I see her a joke. Joey Bass one time. And I sat on Instagram,

see boxes for like a living. Yeah, it's tough, man. I was like, what the off? You know what's crazy? My mom... No smoke with her. Yeah. My mom didn't start wearing the hijab

until after 9-11. Oh, that's bad. That's bad. That's bad. Before that, she never wore it. What was her reason before that? Huh? What was that?

I mean, well, she lived in France before. She was a doctor, so you couldn't really wear the hijab in France. It's banned. It's banned. How is that okay? She couldn't get. It wasn't banned when she was living there,

but she wouldn't have been able to practice That you warned. Dude, that's like really fucked up. Yeah. What is like the... They just... That's what kind of pisses me off when people get mad when they're like,

oh, okay, well, we should start like... When people get super, like, controlling on like the left side of things. I'm like, you know, it could flip and the right side could do the same thing. Exactly. So it's like just... You know, it's crazy too.

They lowered the age of consent to like 14, I think, in France. Really? Because their president, Macron... That's ridiculous. He was 15 when he met his wife and she was 40. She was his teacher.

She was 40. Yeah, he was a big age guy. Cool now, bro, that bitch is a goblin. What? How old is he now? He's like 40, so she's old as shit. Oh, God. That's a big age.

Oh, she's probably like 80 now. Yeah, yeah, she's old. That's a big, that's disgusting. Yeah, yeah. That's a big-ass gap, but he's a big guy. But he's a French guy. I don't fuck with that age gap shit, man. And they like romanticized it and shit.

They make it seem like, it's like, yeah. Well, he probably had game, too, because he was like a little French kid. He was 15. You get mad respect for it. I respect him. Yeah. Yeah, he smashed her a couple times. Yeah.

Don't wipe her. I don't have to do. I don't fuck with that age gap shit, bro. But that's the thing I was saying that I didn't mean to cut you out, but the thing is like A lot of people are like, there are people that are like, we should ban confederate flag. I know Cuomo was talking about banning the sale of Confederate flags in New York.

I'm like, but the other side of that is banning, like, it's like the second you say one thing, it's like the other side could take that rule and then they can start banning the sale of like hijabs. But that's with it and everything. You can't just ban one flag. Yeah, yeah. It's not like every flag is a good flag.

The American flag's fucked up. Yeah, exactly. It's got blood on it too. Yeah, ban that shit too then. Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like once you say one thing, it's like then the other, the next person that's in power could be on the other side of things. But I don't know how they're like justifying because I saw that recently.

They just outlawed wearing hijabs. Yeah, because it's like they're like, well, they want to do like tracking on like Muslims there. I appreciate it. Because it's like they're like the terrorist attacks. It's like they don't know what's going to happen. They did get an uproar when they did the Nike shit with the Muslim Nike shit. What happened? Like the hijab.

Yeah. They need like a sports. You're marketing off their shit. I don't know if that's a good thing to do. What, what do you mean? They were using it to... Well, I see why they wanted it because... But the campaign looked like it was using it in the wrong way.

It was making it seem like it was for something else. I'm like, I don't know if you should do it like that. Well, I don't know what it... I've never seen it. Yeah, I've never seen somebody wear it, but I've seen the campaign. I was like, it's kind of wild. But it makes... I mean, there are Muslim athletes, should make sense that...

Yeah, yeah, I think there was actually like a boxer or something. Like, she's like a... She had a one? But yeah, I think she would. Yeah. Yeah. But that's just crazy. They can just, like, say, like, yeah, this is our rule.

You can't wear this. My thing is it's so hypocritical because it's like a lot of the, most of the immigrants that live in, like, most of like the Arabs that live in France are like from North Africa. From countries that France colonized. Yeah, Algeria was colonized. Like, a lot of the Arabs that live in France are Algerian. And it's like, they colonized us for like over like a hundred years. Yeah, it's like, yeah, they crippled our economy. It's like they destroyed everything left.

So it's like, obviously people, it's like the, like it's in shambles right now. So it's like obviously they're going to go to like Europe and like travel over there. And it's like they put them in ghettos. Like I remember my sister was born in France. She lived there for like my older sister for like three years. Never got a citizenship. She was born there. It's like there.

That's like, yeah. That's what I've heard. I've heard it's really like really hard. It's bad. It's bad. I mean, we're American. So my mom came to America. Yeah, we're America.

We look at shit from our scale. But over there, they don't give a fuck, bro. He's still got dictators and shit. Yeah. Not even close to the same thing. You go to other countries. You don't have it that bad. It's like subtle segregation.

Yeah. It's like black, like, even like Africans and like, like, North Africans or whatever, it's like there. Because in America, we really segregate for like one main reason. That's money. Yeah. That's the main reason over here. Over there, you know, it's like if you were fucked up for years, you can't, we don't fuck with you at all. Yeah, yeah.

Like, America's really one of the few places that you could beat nothing and become something. Absolutely, yeah. That's why they come here. Yeah. They have those great success to it. Well, that's my thing. But you're talking about the tracking thing, and that's what bothers me too because, like, I'm very against, like, the government tracking. but everybody stopped caring.

You all got it, bray. The iPhone. But everybody stopped carrying and they're like, oh, well, who cares if they start hearing me? It's like, well, because it doesn't end there. It's like where it ends is them tracking all Muslims and then they have now an outlaw against, like, it's that. I know people growing up in my neighborhood in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn who were like sent to Guantanamo Bay. And it's like they were innocent. They were innocent.

Completely innocent. You literally, U.S. citizens went there without even being tried. Exactly. It was fucked up. It was that one rap. Check West, he had got sent back. Who? Shaq West, the rapper?

Jack West? I think his parents sent him back to Africa Ghana, yeah, yeah. His parents said, that's where to ground somebody. Yeah, yeah. I'll say, yeah, sent him back deported him. No, no, he wasn't deported.

Yeah, yeah, his parents just sent him back. I think he was born in Harlem. He's born in Harlem. The craziest is Marcus Garvey because he had the back to Africa movement and then they deported him to Jamaica. Oh, like the United States. It's such a dick move

because he's like, he's like, I'm not that at all. Yeah, yeah, same color. The worst places to go, man. Jamaica is a nice place. I've never been there, but it's a nice place. I've heard it's fucking said. I've heard.

I got Jamaican a lot. Yeah. She's told me all the way about it. Well, that's what Florida, a lot of black people are Haitian and Jamaican, like more than I feel like other places. Just because, like, that's, like, I feel like most immigrants in Florida are either Cuban, Haitian or Jamaican. Yeah, Miami's like Cuba Central.

They hate black people. They're definitely, yeah, a lot of races. Yeah. I think they're the most racist Spanish. Yeah, yeah. And they're the most darkest. Like how That's same with

Dominicans, man Well, some of them are light though But you'll meet Dominicans That know they're black Majority Cubans Not like black people Yeah, that's crazy

I'm like bro It's the same thing You're like no I'm Cuban I'm not black Yeah That colorism shit man But it is weird though Because there are some

Cuban people That are super white looking Yeah Like I didn't know this You know The President of Mexico Is like a white guy Yeah

Really? Yeah And I know Apparently Puerto Rico 80% Like 80% of people Identify as white But if they came here

You'd be like You're not white It's weird too I think it's like the opposite for Dominicans because that's why they go by Afro-Latina. Yeah, yeah. Because in their country, you looked at as black,

but here they look at as Dominican. So they're like, over there, I'm black. Over here, I'm Spanish. That's why I'm Afro. Like, I'm both. Yeah. I was like, all right. I mean, you can be what you want. Yeah, nobody could. Yeah. But it's a weird thing. The brown thing's confusing to me, too.

I think we were talking about this because Indian people are brown. But they're Asian, too. Yeah. Yeah. And that's confusing. But then also Mexican people are brown. But then also Arab people. or brown you know what i mean so it's like they're actually on like the census and shit if you're like north african or like arab they're like you you count as white they'll have like a little

parentheses it's like white and then they'll include like north african middle east so what do you look at his ass well i'm i've never put down white yeah what you consider yourself as well when the census asks i'll just say african-american because technically that's i'm african i'm more african-american than i am white that's good i mean you are from the motherland yeah i would never put down white like that's crazy i'm kind of manning for I always tell him you can say it. He's like, no, I don't tell them. I'll say it right now.

Say it, I don't care. Pop it out, yeah, I'll pop it on the podcast. It makes someone, like, you're from Africa. You're from the motherland. It makes, you have black in your blood. I feel like you should be able to say it. Listen, look, this is the pass I needed right now. This is on recording right now.

And he's like, no. I just needed it recorded for audio proof. Muslim people, though, I feel like is, I was talking some Muslim, and he was saying that, like, they get called sand, end word. So it's weird that they couldn't say what they're called. You know what I mean? That's kind of like a hard.

It's like somebody called you a sand N-word and then you can't be like, I'm not a sand. Right. Yeah, it used to get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But it's like, the only reason I, like, because I used to say it, but then people are like, you're not black. Like, you're not black. Like, you're African.

Like, because it's like African. Yeah, but you meet different type of fuck. I know older black people that don't like the N-word because they're like, oh, this is. I'm like, my grandma called me that shit. Who the fuck? Yeah. Are you to tell me about the N-word? Your grandmother called you that.

Yeah, she was like, come here, nigga. Like, she used to say that shit. I was like, the fuck, like, no, he was like... That's so weird, because my grandma also used the N-word. Yeah, give me that you, are here, different, though. That's them over there, Michael. Stay away from them.

The minority. No, I've never heard my grandma say. I hate having to justify every fucking joke. So I swear to God, they never... Disclaimer. It doesn't matter. Well, my high school, everybody says, it and it wasn't like I don't know I keep saying I think Obama was president and like the soft

A everybody's like everybody could just say it but then I feel like Charlottesville just changed everything I feel like it's different levels too like I don't get why rappers get mad bro like you made a song that these kids love yeah and you're at you think people are not say at the concert we're gonna fight everyone there yeah that makes no one of the time just fight everyone yeah hey when they stop the whole concert that who said yeah we get it you made a fire song why did you mean a song called mine How was the white kid gonna not say it? Yeah, yeah.

It's every part of the song. Yeah, yeah. I think young white kids say it more than black people, honestly. Like, teenage white kids. I think that's why the cops were so, like, confused when the protests happened, because the white people are going hard. Yeah, like, it's a different time now because, like, these kids look up to black people.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll straight up states when I was a kid, I wanted to be black so bad because I didn't know. Anyone in my age, I'm pretty sure if 50 seems like the one of the first people you able to listen to. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I'm like, dad dude was like everyone's here. hero. How are you not going to fight for people?

Because this is like who you grew up. Yeah, the number one music genre is right. And the interracial dating is probably at the highest now. Yeah. So there's no way you're not going to fight for it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's, yeah, it's way less segregated.

Like, what the fuck? What's going on? I'm like, different era, bro. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, the cops are like, you're supposed to be on our side. Yeah, they're so confused. They're like, just looking at population charts. I thought we were going to win this.

It's got fat dudes with neck beards. What happened? Yeah. It's true shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. White pride is at an all-time low, man. I meet that a lot.

Especially when it comes to comics. They hate white people. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, it's too much now, too, where it's like white comics will just go up and be like, I hate being white. Everyone says that shit, man. It's like, yeah, it's like a Jew. Like, everybody, there's so many self-hating Jews, I know. I'm like, all right, we get it.

Can you say anything else about, I don't know shit about Jews people? I've never heard a single black person say, I don't like being a black. best thing. No, never. It's the best thing. Everybody wants to be black, but everybody don't want to have the black experience. Yeah, of course.

Like, I was the same. When I was a kid, dude, I wear, like, grills. Not like real, but I'll put tin foil in. I'll, like, pretend to be a rabber. Yeah, I was like... You're being on Paul War back in? Yeah, I was like, dude, dude, I was like, oh, I read, like a couple history books,

and I'm like, I don't want to be black. Fuck that. He's like, that part where they get beat. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to start wearing Ralph. Can I get the color shirts? Can I just get the N-word? Can I just get that over that shit?

It's just this, yeah. What's the blackest experience you've ever had, though? You've ever had something that's close to it? What do you mean? Like, you ever got pulled over by the cops and even? Yeah, but we were also shithead kids. Like, we would get in trouble all the time, but it was like we were also like, we'd have like 10 of us on long boards just like skating around the neighborhood,

smoking pot, like breaking shit. So it's like it made sense that we were getting. I will say growing up in Florida sounds like it would be like a fun childhood. Fun childhood. They always say Bronx and Florida is like the same shit. I'm like. I don't know about that. In Florida, it might be funner.

I don't know the same. You got alligating and shit. That sounds cool. Yeah, no, it was fun. Like, I think the waters would make it awesome because it was like, you would always be like, dude, I knew people that did not have cars, but they had a boat because, like, there was, like, there's such a. That's fine. I wonder if there's a supply.

You know, boat costs more than the car. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah. But, like, also, there's so many boats. I think you get cheaper boats. Oh, wow. Dude, I know somebody that want a wakeboard competition, like, the sport wakeboarding, and you want a boat out of it. Like, that's crazy.

They're giving away, like, boats. But it's also because there's so many, if there's such a demand for it, that maybe the price is lower because, like, I know that's not how it works, but, like... You're just a higher price when it's the demand for it. Yeah, but I guess there's such a supply

because, I don't know anything about economics. I don't know. It gave it to the white antsy. I guess, yeah, isn't it low demand? It's usually... Yeah, low demand. I mean, it's the cheaper prices? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I just look at that, like, when you're doing Uber, if more people are taking Uber at the same location, the prices are up. Yeah, yeah. But then, but what I'm saying there is, but if there was more Uber drivers, the same way there's more boats,

the price goes down. So I think it's that thing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Supplying to me, supply in demand, yeah. But it, no, that was fun. And the beach was just shit. We would get, our beach weekends were nuts. We just, you go to the beach and, like,

you just bring, like, $10, and then you just start trading money for, like, you know what I mean? Like, I know. So cheap. Yeah, well, the cost of living is like, I don't know why, if I didn't have money, I wouldn't have money.

I'm saying, like, if I didn't have enough to, like, If you weren't a comic, you wouldn't. Yeah. I was in a comic. Yeah. I don't know why I live here. Because I was like, dude, like, if you're working at C. how you all feel, though, but, like, everything here.

Dude, I grew up here. Everybody I knew growing up was like, I don't want to stay here. Yeah. Like, yeah, I would want to move out. And it's like, people would come in. Yeah, I grew up with the mixed people. Like, I got my brothers and stuff. I couldn't see myself living anywhere.

Yeah, yeah. But I would love to live somewhere else. Yeah. I can't, that's exactly. I can't see myself living anywhere else. But it's like, I would want to, you know. Yeah. I didn't think with Florida, it's like, I see somebody working on, like, a CVS.

And I'm like, dude, if you worked at a CVS in Florida, you have a house. You could pay rent. Are you serious? Yeah, you'd have a house. Maybe not like a sweet house, but you could absolutely, yeah. But the minimum wage is lower there. Yeah, yeah, minimum wage, but rent's lower, too. I do get tight when I'm like, I'm on Instagram and Twitter and I see Texas.

Everyone's had a fucking nice-haired time. I'm like, where the fuck are they getting money from? Yeah, yeah. Like, we scam here. I don't know what the fuck got you got doing there. What are you all have a boutique? What the fuck is going on? Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

No, that's the thing in Florida. Yeah, I wouldn't say, like, if you work at CVS, you'd necessarily have a house, but, like, you could live in a house to a couple roommates off, like, minimum wage. Yeah, that's nuts. You wouldn't be, like... It wouldn't be your house, but, like...

Yeah. I lived in apartments my whole life. Yeah, yeah, and I lived in apartments. Big difference, but... New York is just weird when it comes to prices. Yeah. There are... If you got money in New York, you can, like, you can't get a house. Like, there's part...

Like, even, like, Bay Ridge, where I'm from, it's, like, they're, like, mansions, like, shore road. Like near the water. Even in the Bronx, if you go to certain parts of the Bronx, like, that's where I heard. Not even just in Bay, like parts of Brooklyn, like Queens. I guess the Bronx. Queens is definitely number one.

Like the House in Bronx. Long Island. Along that house. Yeah. But you got to, yeah, there's that part of Bronx where, like, you're going from the Bronx to the Queen, like the White Stone Bridge. Yeah. Right there.

Nothing is like private, nothing but housing and shit. And I know where I grew up at, like, Castle Hill. It's a part. Riverdale or shit. Yeah. But it's a part of the Bronx where, like, it's right. behind Castle Hill, it's nothing but gayed community. Yeah, well, where's Jake Vlasquez from?

Riverdale. Yeah, because he's from the Bronx, but I'm like... It's the different part where I'm from. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean a bunch of people... Imagine he's like, yeah, South Bronx. Yeah, he's from Florida. Now, but Riverdale's weird because, like, on the map, it says the Bronx, but if you go there, it's like Yonkers. Yeah, yeah. And Yonkers is the closest to the Bronx.

Yeah. Yeah, never been to Yonker. I think they have a club up there, don't they? Yeah, I forget the name. It's in, like, a strip mall. That's deep, though. Yeah. When you were younger, this is a whole day experience. Yeah, it's forever.

But I think my favorite thing... Pat's from, Pat's from White Plans. Like, right there. Pat Berry? Yeah, is right. I forgot he was from here. Yeah, he's from, like, next to... White Plains, they're right there youngest.

Yeah. I think... But I'm sure growing up in New York was fun, too. Like, the one thing that was fun about growing up in Orlando was that, like, I don't know, the theme parks were fun because we would just sometimes go to the theme park. Like, when we were, like, middle school age, our parents just drop us off and we just I got jerked off.

I think I talked about this last one. I got jerked off at the Jurassic Park area and Universal. We just go up there and the best is they had this thing called Halloween Horn Nights where they take Universal and they turn it into like a haunted house and you just go there and get super fucked up

with all your friends. I will say the two places where I meet the most fucked up comic childhoods. Boston and Florida. You guys are the most fucked up people are. And it's the women.

Really? Like I did the cooking show of May Planet. Yeah, yeah. She just did tell me she had abortion like 15. On the cooking show? I want to add. She's scrapped.

By her Mexican. Did she say it was, she said it on the show? Yeah. So I don't have to edit this? No. Okay. Word. All right.

You can go to the cooking show and see you're talking about it. How does that come up in cooking? We just asked her. I was like, what's the wildest thing that happened to you? She said, I had abortion. And I was like 15. I was like, all right. That doesn't sound like the wildest thing doesn't say.

Making this chicken pot pie really reminds me. You also said she aborted it and he was Mexican. Did she abort the kid because he was Mexican? No, she said she loved him. What? She said she loved him. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, yeah.

She said she was a wild girl. She said he did Coke for like 10 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the, uh, her boyfriend? What's his name? I know you're talking about, yeah, yeah, yeah. Forget his name, but. I know, yeah, yeah.

I was like, that's, so he kind of saves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But white girls are so crazy. She said she did Coke for 10 years straight, but not a Coke guy. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah, I did Coke for like five years straight. Well, it depends what you consider doing coke. It's like, I would do it on weekends all the time.

I don't know if that's really like... She said if she was outside, she was not on coke. She was always on cocaine. Oh, okay, that's different. That sounds like, yeah, yeah, that's an addict, bro. Yeah, yeah. But it's interesting, though, because, like, I don't know, it's weird with certain drugs.

I think it's all about how you manage it, though, because if you smoke weed every day, I don't really say you're, like, a weed addict. But, like, so I think there are people that can manage large amounts of drugs, and they're totally fine, and they stop. But it's like you're still a dick. We're the only drug that, like, you're dick. But it doesn't ruin everyone else's time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you could definitely get anybody who says you can't get addicted to weed

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is such thing as a pie. There's people I know yeah, well you get dressed up in a furry call Yeah, yeah, you just don't like when I kill yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it is I don't think I will say though I don't know a single person who cocaine's ruined their life Which is crazy because like it's that's like it's always pills. Well, you said you were also growing up people were doing like ketamine Yeah, yeah yeah, so it's like when that's the yeah we got cocaine is nothing like that's like it's like it's I mean like a sport, though. Yeah. I've been at parties and, like, people, I don't care what you do. Yeah.

We're smoking weed, people doing cocaine, whatever. And people, like, catamil away. I'm like, it's not a regular drug, bro. No, it's weird, yeah. It's a drug that is, if you're a schizophrenic, that's the drug you're supposed to take to stay normal. It's for schizophrenia? Yeah.

Well, it's for a lot of things. They use it for a lot of things. Yeah, but when you're a schizophrenic, they say you're supposed to take that to be able to stay functioning. Jesus. But if you take too much of it, you're tripping balls. So I don't know what the... Exactly.

It's a weird drug because at the lower levels, it's really like drinking. Like, it's like you're a little more drunk. And then you do a little more. It's kind of like you're on a little bit of Molly. But if you do enough of it, you can be like inside a TV is what... I know her K-Hole, but Sondra said he was like in a TV. This is the weirdest people I've ever met my life. A doctor that...

Allegedly, we have to say. It does every fucking psychedelic. I'm like, what the fool? We should probably edit that. I don't want him to lose his job. No, no, no. I think it's going to happen, though. Regardless of...

He's already been on it to the most of... I'm pretty sure the people in that place thinks everyone's fucking. There's no way. I mean, people come in and, like... But it's all like dudes. It's all like... I love bringing my girlfriend there, and it's just

10 comics hitting on her. Yeah, Jesus. And I was like, what do you think she's just going to suck your dick right in front of me? Like, what do you think is going to happen? Oh, for real? They like... Oh, people... I don't really. I don't really care. They're not like...

They're not aggressively like, yo, you want to suck my dick. But they're like, you know, like... They're hinting to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're in the pounds. You think he's supposed to happen. Yeah, yeah. I remember one time We were at the Pan House And Joe Levy said he went up to your girl

He's like, oh hi, I'm Joe And she's like, I'm Michael Good's girlfriend That's a good girlfriend. That's how you know she's been That's a good girlfriend right there's hilarious Michael, every time I see Michael's girlfriend He's like, I don't know how she's with me She's like, I'm bad the good one, right?

I was like, all right? No, she's definitely hot Because the first time I met her I didn't know who she was I was like I was like, I was like, I'm a little girlfriend She's hot, right? I was like, all right?

I used to be thin, but also girls don't really care about if you're fat. I think that's like the last thing. Girls are so like, they don't care about looks. They don't care about pockets. They don't care about. Yeah. Like, are you doing something with your life? Yeah, and are you like confident and shit?

Yeah, you got to be confident. Personality and confident. Yeah. Which makes perfectly sense because, man, we care about this dumb shit, like, their money or some shit. Yeah, yeah. Are you doing something? We care about what you're doing with your life, but we care about looks. Yeah, that's the number one thing.

That's the number one. Yeah. Looks is never, definitely number one. Yeah. Because for girls, it's like they're like, it's like biological. It's like you want someone who's like, like, you could settle down with, like, provide and all that shit. I don't know what part of my girlfriend's seeing me do Coke and drink more logo and she's like, he's the one that I want. But it does make sense, though, because like, why would a woman who's pretty want to be with a pretty man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't make sense to me. Like, I get it, like, you're in the same field. Like, we're both models, okay. Yeah. But, like, you're a regular person. Why would you want? Yeah, it's a weird thing.

Yeah. Well, it makes sense because. But I think girls still do, like, you know, they don't want to. They don't want someone... But it just doesn't matter nearly as much as it does for that. They don't want no beat up person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some hit.

My favorite does. I love the guys I know that, like, there's a lot of guys I know that went to, like, good schools, and they got a good job in New York, and they're so bad at talking to girls. It's hilarious. You can't teach confidence. Yeah, and it's so fucking funny. It's something you can't teach, you. Oh, my God.

It's something you just have. Comedy has made, like, in terms of, like, talking to girls, comedy has helped me, like, way more than anything. Because you're on stage in that. That's confidence. Exactly, yeah, because it's like, you can get shocked. And they see that, they see that, bro. Yeah. I got friends when they get follows from women that you never man in their life.

They're like, where is this coming from? Like, you're doing comedy. Yeah, yeah. They're seeing you on Instagram somewhere. They're like, oh, he's doing something with his life. Yeah, exactly. Because comedy that field and entertainment were like, how the fuck do you do this? Yeah, it's such a weird thing, too.

It's not like a DJ where, like, you tell a girl you're a DJ, and I bet you there's like, they're probably don't. They're probably just like, okay, every guy is a fucking DJ. You have a laptop of your DJ. Yeah, yeah. So, like, both comedy's like, oh, that's interesting. And comedy is like the weirdest fear because we get paid the least but we have the hardest weight on our shoulders. Yeah.

Because like if you're a rapper and you rap for like a six months, you're like, all right, you're not supposed to be that good. Yeah. As soon as you get the microphone in comedy and you don't make them allowed, you like, so are you funny? Yeah, yeah. It is pretty brutal because it's like, yeah, you. The pressure is always on. Like, yeah, it's so, like, killing is one of the best. It's not the best feeling ever.

It got to be, it got to be better than ever. But then it's like, it could also be like you, it's torturous. I mean, like, at least for me, it's like where it's like you kind of. it's like you bomb or it's like you like you like you like I got to do this it's like you just you put a lot of pressure on yourself too oh yeah I was telling him I'm so pissed I did I had an audition show last night and I forgot it

it was just the Broadway oh god yeah fuck Broadway yeah keep that on fuck Broadway I didn't say Michael good it's different if you get booked for a show there but like audition fuck that

no no I mean it's a good way to get it's like what other I don't give me sure it but it's just annoying because like I forgot one joke my favorite joke and the whole fucking like I've been beating myself up, like, for fucking days. It does happen. It happens. I go through three different things, man.

Like, if I kill and it feels like it's too easy on stage, I'm like, this is bullshit. Yeah, sometimes it's just weird. Bullshit, right? Yeah, you're like, these people. Sometimes you know, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, you're just laughing at anything tonight. Yeah. Now, let me work for it on stage.

Yeah. But when you kill and it's like a, you made the people that don't like you laugh, it's the best feeling ever. Especially with, like, a risky joke. That's the best feeling. That's the best thing. That joke. A new bit or like a riskier?

I got a joke right now. working on. It's been making the fucking room, like, split. Let's hear it. All right. It's the shit with, like, Usher was in the... He did it. He got the Usher Bucks. And I was like, it'd be funny. I feel like if you were famous

enough, you could just use your own money. Yeah. I was like, it'd be dope. We had, like, George four dollars, but I feel like they're going to do too much when they check it. Like this. Yeah, like this. But it makes the room split. I'm like, I don't know. And then you got people at laugh, and people like,

They're watching it, and I don't know how they feel about it. But I'm trying to see how you feel about it. That's a hilarious concept, though, because he got in trouble using fake money. Exactly. And that's hilarious. And then it's George Ford. I'm doing his next shit. So, going that shit.

God damn. You're taking risk. The act out, I think, is probably what splits the room. Exactly. When you're putting your knee on. Yeah, that seems like it would be. Yeah, the audience can't see you. But, yeah, that is pretty funny.

I'm like, what's going on? Why is it? Why is it? Why are you checking money like that? I think it's wild that. But the thing that sucks about, I mean, obviously, what happened was horrible. I hate how I always have to say what happens horrible. Yeah, you don't have to around this.

Yeah. The picture, the one picture everybody uses is probably like the worst picture of them. It's like the one selfie one. Yeah. It's like the one selfie where it's like down like this. I'm like, why can't we get like a good picture? I don't think they ever use a good picture for someone that dies. Yeah.

Especially the black. It's always a black person's. Trayons, it was like he was taking. He was like a 15-year-old kid though, too. Yeah. But also would be creepy. The Sandra Blan shit. She was like she was dead in her picture.

Who's Sandra Blan? The chick that got, when he took it to, pulled over, and he took it to the police station, and she died at the police station. Oh, I didn't know about this. That shit was crazy. It was just a random traffic stop. You heard about the 13-year-old, man? Recently? Yeah, yeah, it was like, I forgot his name.

Me too. But it was dude, he had his arms, like, he had his hands raised. That the one in the white cop killed? Oh, I saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The female cop, right? No, no, that was Dante right. Back up.

That in mass shootings were just, like, we're mixing all of them up because there's been so many last year. I think it's just because, like, now the weather is. I will say Jamil has a great joke about this shit. He's like, yo, it's fucked up what happened. But I'm glad to see me back in the race. Did he what? We're back in the race with killings, because the Asians get them out of here. Asian hate only lasts a week.

Black killings forever. I was like, yo, Jamil, that's crazy. A great fucking joke. Yeah. Well, that's the thing I was telling people, I said this on like nine episodes of the podcast, but everybody's like, oh, we have no mass shootings because the lockdown. I'm like, they're backlogged. We're going to get so many this year because everybody's gone so much fucking crazy.

It's not even that. Everyone's outside. I did something. Yeah, yeah. But I think it's less- I've been seeing this shit like women can't wait to go for them because they were in the house

for the people that stayed in the house they're like this gonna be the horniest summer ever. That's the thing, it's like, it's like for us it's like because we were out all of last year regardless so it's like it's not that big deal for us yet

but it's like everybody else was like most people were like they can't wait. I've never seen this regular comedy clubs so packed yeah like it is right now because it's a fee

people are trying to do shit it's the fee You got vaccinated? Yeah. I just don't get why you got vaccinated and you still wear a mask? What's the point? Yeah, yeah. It's like you still like, it's like, yeah, I don't know.

I didn't get, I'm not getting vaccinated. I'm cool up that. I'm gonna get vaccinated. Because of Tuskegee or what? No. Because of Tuskegee. I just look at it. I've never gotten flu unless I had a flu shot.

Yeah. I don't, I think it's just putting the shit in you. I never, I never had the COVID. Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I'm going to get mine at some point, but I'm not in like a rush to get it. I don't know, I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand people freaking out about people not getting vaccinated.

I'm like... Who cares? Because I'm like, if you are getting vaccinated, then you're taking care of yourself. So, like, everybody makes their own decisions. Yeah, it's not even when else's before. Like, who's talking? Because it's hard to say, you know what I mean? It's hard to be like, oh, okay, well, you're good to go, so then why doesn't somebody

else have the... You have the right to get COVID if you want. You should be able to kill yourself. Yeah, you got to get it eventually, bro, unless you got it before. Yeah. The COVID shit is never going away. It's just you have to get vaccinated every fucking year. I think this every six months, right?

Six months? I think Pfizer said it was going to be like a yearly thing. A yearly thing. Because Clover was never going to go away. Yeah. It's like the flu shot. Yeah. It's like in you now.

Yeah. Which is weird. Yeah, well, the best is people try to control it. They're like, you know, if we, the best is like, if everybody just wore their masks, we'd be okay. I'm like, no, we were in our homes for fucking months. Nobody, I mean, I think it's helpful. Like, the first two months, nobody was out, man. Nobody, bro.

All we did was go to the grocery store and check the mail. Dude, going to the grocery store was like an adventure for me. I got excited. I was excited going to the grocery. I was like, yo, I can put my sneakers on for once, bro. This feels great. That's how much they could trick you. You're excited to go to grocery store?

Dude, I was like, I would get hype going to the grocery store. Me too. I felt like a kid again. I was like, yeah, she's crazy. And then you go to the grocery store, like, I got waiting lines again. Fuck. Dude, I'll go to the grocery store every day. I would just go every single day.

Yeah, and I was getting an EBT again. I was like, oh, shit. Oh, yeah, I had EBT. Oh, shit. Yeah, I spent some bread. There you go. I yeah we've got an hour in 12 minutes so I might just call it

you guys want to promote anything Andrew Yang's I guess Andrew Yang's destruction cooking show shout out to meet Lawrence R.common Instagram and Twitter and shit like that My Jerry Springer dropped

Hell yeah baby Can we talk about that bro? We'll talk about it a little longer Talk about that all right Wait what you want to talk just how it happened Yeah so So Ryan hit me up out of nowhere

The dude I went on with And he just They know Ryno tool Rino Tool yeah He just hit me up and he was like, yo, he's like, do you want to do Jerry Springer with me? And I was like, yes, I'm not going to lie. In the beginning, I was a little apprehensive. Just because I know the reputation of the show, I was like, I don't even know how this is going to come off or whatever.

Do you know what the courtroom style, though? I knew it was a judge show. Oh, okay. But that's the thing. It's like I never, I knew Jerry Springer was a big deal, but I never realized like how big of a deal. He's definitely for white trash. I never watched him growing up. Like, I knew Mori.

I always thought Mori was like the guy. I did the same thing. Yeah, I figured he was. It's just the worst representation of ever raised. It's just how funny it was white trash people. White trash fucking, like, hood. Them and Mr. Man, it started everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's like, I knew, like, but it was dope, man. They picked us up in, like, a Cadillac escalade. Oh, shit. Right from my clip. You got the whole experience. Yeah, drove us to Stanford. They got me, like, a whole hotel room for, like, the night. Like, yeah, $50, like, I got paid.

So it was, it was dope. I just, like, I wrote a little bit, like, like, I just, I knew I was going to be on. I was like, it's going to be, like, stoo. So I was like, I was like, let me just write some, like, punch lines for it, like, some stupid. They actually cut a lot out. Yeah, it was short. You're just trying a whole bit. You're like, so grocery stores, right?

You know, we go to them. And they're like, I remember watching the video. You didn't smile one time. No, we did. We broke. They just edited it mad well. Dude, I remember because I walked out and I just see Ryan standing at the podium. I couldn't, I couldn't hold it in, man.

I was just so fucking stupid. Because it was like, it was all staged. We were not, like, anything at all. Dude, we got massages together the day before. Yeah, we got massages and dinner together We know you're real life So we know you don't hate each other Yeah, I fucking live with the kid

You know? So it's like Dude, yeah It was fucking Yeah, it was crazy I remember you walked out I was like I didn't Like I said

I never really like watch Springer like that So I was like It's just some old white dude So I didn't give a fuck Like yeah we just did it But it was it was fucking Yeah but that like that was Yeah

I didn't know how I was gonna come out either Like that first day it dropped That's a dope as fucking credit though Yeah That's fucking awesome Yeah I was that I'm happy I did Do you want to be brought up that way? I feel like I have to write a bit about it.

Because it's just such a like a what the fuck. Is that the thing where now we have to write a bit about credit? Well, it depends on what you do. Like, I used to jokingly tell. You've been telling me since the Yang shit started. Like, you should write it. I wrote a couple about it. Yeah.

I always just save my credit with every day actually. I got arrested on TV. Yeah. That's my credit. And then like now I got so much from this shit. I'm like, this say Yang. Yeah, but I just all right it, man. Yeah.

Because I used to fuck around at the pair and I'd be like, oh, can you please bring me up and say, you've seen them on ancient aliens or something like that for like UFO hunters. But then I would say that, and then if you don't have anything to joke about it, if you're like, what? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, because I have a whole bit about the cop shit, so they go straight into it. Yeah, then you can, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like, yeah, you got to like, yeah, because Jerry Springer is one of those credits where it's not like, oh, like. You might not know them, but people do, no. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you say Jerry Spring, people, like, what the fuck?

He inspired a whole generation. Someone's like, season three, episode four. I know this guy really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's got to be some diehard fans that are, like, pissed at, like, his newer work, and they're like, he's got to return to his roots. Yeah, yeah. Like, we're the fights.

Why are you guys sitting on a couch? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but, um, yeah, well, we'll call it there. You guys know where to find them. And fuck yeah. New York, baby.