Morning Good - Free Pops - Episode 71

Episode Date: April 10, 2022

Thanks to Lawrence, Derick, and Derek for coming on the show. They all have plenty of shows coming up in NYC you can catch them at, so give them a follow at the links below to stay in the loop and find out what they have going on.You can find Lawrence on Instagram @lawrencereese__, Derick @officiallyderickgonzalez, and Derek @derekdrescher.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning Good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to Morning. All right. Now we're on. Now we're on. Come in that bitch. No. Come in that hoe.

This is Morning Good. Come in that hoe. Hey. That's how we're starting. We're here with Derek Dresher. Hey. Derek Gonzalez and Lawrence Reese

This is a certified hood classic Damn son Gangston grills Where'd you find this? Different variables of hood niggins, But we were just talking about The Ukraine, not I'm sure This is not where there's no fucking format

Where's you find this I don't know that How much would you pay somebody to wear a Putin shirt like on stage for a week straight. Oh, $20. $20. I wouldn't pay anybody to do that shit the fuck.

I want to see it though. I bet you could dig yourself out of the hole but you can't mention the shirt at all. You can't talk about Ukraine. I want the one of him shirtless riding a bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one I want.

That shit's fire. I saw one. It was like the Barack Obama hope one. It was just Putin's face. I love that shit. I was like Putin with the MLK at the beach look. That'd be fire. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But he got the middle fingers up. I was like, yeah. That's Putin. That's Putin. Yeah, no, I don't follow the news at all. I don't give a shit. I think Ukraine's winning, I think. I don't know.

Really? That's what niggas been saying. I think Ukraine's, like, not losing. I think Russ is getting destroyed, right? They're not getting smoked, I heard. They're not getting smoked like everybody thought they would. Who's Golden State Warrior? Who's Cleveland Cavaliers?

Right now, Cleveland Cavaliers is Ukraine and Golden State is Russia. So they're going to do it? Yeah, but like, it's like... They go pull the 3-1? They're going to pull the 3-1? I think they might pull a 3-1. I just don't understand why I mean, Russia's army has 900,000 people in it. Like, they should have...

Who said they're all good? And they got tigers. And they got tigers. True. That's a lot. They have rode in on tigers. Yeah. The tiger will kill you before you get there.

That's right. That's right. Also, their weapons are... I heard they have this thing where they drop it and it takes away all the oxygen from the area. Like a fucking Batman device. Like, apparently... That's beautiful. Was that like a CS, carbon sulfide?

Oh, that's what's called? I'm just wondering if that's what... Smart. What's how of research you've been doing? He said it like he didn't know exactly what he just said. Are you a super villain? I have no idea. What's your photo?

I was just shooting the shit. Yeah. I was reading H2O. Yeah. Why don't you go on the FBI watch list now? What the fuck? No, I think I've, there's been some incriminating things said on this podcast. I used to work in the World Trade Center.

Oh, so you're the Blad TV. You're the Blad TV. You saw how many things you shot last week? You think it relaxed, bro, too. Yeah. Oh. But that, I mean, that job fucking sucked. I don't know.

I didn't work actually in the tower. I worked in, like, a separate. It was, like, building, like, seven. Yeah, why would you want to work in the tower? It would be scary. Wait, you worked in Building 7? Yeah. Building 7 was one of the ones that went down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the new Building 7, yeah. I wish the bad look, right? It's building seven's in quotations. Yeah, I remember it was September 11th. So he moved it. Yeah, we moved it. Because it wasn't like...

Oh, can you only step a little high, by the way? Yeah, sweet. Put it on your lip. No, just on here. Pause. Pause. It gets shaky. Yeah, we're good.

Hey, yo. Yeah, that's good. I can't even say, I'm too white to say yo. You can say, a yo. You never say A. I say yo with like an exclamation mark. Go, hey, yo.

But why he's trying to act way in that situation. Yeah, you made yourself look white. You know you'd be unnigger if you wanted to. You can say, pause. Pause. Say no homo. Yeah, say, no homo. Say faggot.

Say faggit. That doesn't mean. That immediately makes me black now for saying faggot. That's how that works. Yeah, now you can go to Harlem. Yeah. No. With ease.

That's the funny. Because people always say like, you know, like this is a black. You have to be careful of what you're saying here. But like, New York, there's that with gay neighborhoods. Like, if you don't say faggot in this neighbor, there's like nine gay dudes. We'll just beat shit out of you. Upper West Side, yeah.

Hell's Kitchen. Right. But, um, yeah. It's so funny the reverse, because, like, I had, like, gay guy on, like, two episodes ago, and then just this episode just way different. Say, say, I mean, we be around the gays. Yeah, we beat around the gays. We'd be around the gay.

Oh, yeah. We beat up, no. What's it possible in the comedy scene did not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Run the home industry. Right. Right. Yeah. I miss them. If you're gay and you do a shout out to you, bro. Yeah.

I don't know a single gay Jew. Is Dylan Adler? How old is they would tell you? Dylan Adler's... He's half Jewish. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Gay Jew. He's got everything.

I got everything you're not supposed to be, quote on quote, but... Really? Like, German and like... Actually, my last name is German, but I'm Swiss. So the last name is good, but it's pronounced gold. Oh, but so you're a neutral person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see.

The worst class wild. Gold. Because you don't really. Yeah, he's crazy. Michael Godd. Michael God, where has you been? Yes, Michael. Michael.

You got a little twang to it. Just snap to it. Michael's just cannot get involved in such transgressions. Wow. That's good. Say that and then say that carbon thing you were talking about earlier. The carbon sulfide. Yeah.

It just sounds like world domination. That's what it sounds like. I fucking love it. Yeah. What were you? You said I'm not that crate. Would you say I'm not that bad? I'm not that.

You're a neutral person. Like now. knowing that your last, your last name is good, but it's pronounced good, and it's like Swedish. You always been like a neutral person. You're not too fucking crazy. You're not too fucking annoying. You suck.

It makes sense. It makes sense. Well, my Irish side does have that sometimes. The Irish side is dope. That's the part of that. You drink a lot? Yes. Okay.

That's the Irish. Not as much. I slowed down a bunch. Yo, did I tell you? I need real drinkers for my birthday. My birthday's next week. March 17. 27 bars one night.

March 17 next week. from afar. I will be sending love from a far. That's crazy. 27? Where are you starting? I'm saying in my head. I'm not going out because if I black out. It's funny if you did five borough fucking bar crawl.

That's how you die. That's how you definitely die. You're talking shit. The moment you talk shit in the Bronx, that's a barrel, though. That's a barrel. You're like, you're one bar in the Bronx and we out. Yeah, these shit end your night off in, like, Staten Island.

So you're like, you kind of sober yourself up. You got to make it home. Like the ride there. You got to be there to get you home. That's all right, guys. Come on. You're trying to chill. No, Jerry.

I'm trying to... How are you going to keep Calp, though? I'm not. You just write them in your phone. I think I'm going to make a documentary like them. It's like on that Kanye level type shit. Have one of you guys be like...

War you're like warming up. Exactly. I just want one of you guys to like marry and be like, and this is when I knew there would be like, yeah, man. Yeah, I'm doing a bar crawl. What's the big deal? If I was selling crack,

everyone would be cool with that. Exactly. I was telling me, you should put a tripod on your fucking head. I've been thinking about that shit. and just go through the whole night. Yeah, but you're drunk with the, you're gonna get,

you're gonna go into the dude's bathroom and people are gonna think you're like, yeah, you're gonna get into something. Like, you're gonna be a fight. Yeah, like, you're trying to look at my dick. I'm like, it's just small, bro. And that's gonna start the real fight. At that point, Derek's gonna hit that point

where he doesn't like nothing. Yeah. I don't like anything. Are you, do you fight when you get drunk? No, I don't. I will say the nicest person. You want to say, I'm pretty fucking nice. There was one incident where he's like,

I was in Popeyes and, like, they didn't have shirts. I was not you being mean. Well. But the way you kept on saying it was just like, I was just like, the fucking mean, there was no shrimp. And he's like, yo, I was in Popeye's and had shrimp. So, fuck that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even know Popeye's had shrimp. Yeah. Me neither. We'll see. Yeah.

Exactly. He walked in Popeyes and literally said, yo. I'm getting a ticket there. I'm getting a ticket saying. He's like, I want some shrimp. You got pushed down. I was like, they got shrimp here. Yeah.

And he's like, yo, let me get some shrimp. They're like, we don't have shrimp, sir. Why the fuck you ain't got no shrimp We drunk or sober I was black out here Yeah At the end of it We walked out and then he fell asleep

On the bus stop And I don't know how I got home Say something The bus stop check check in a little bit Yeah you're good Yeah it's crazy Derry guys drunk You guys

You got it started to fight out of Popeyes He started to fight He was jealous of people For a knife of shrimp Yeah Did you break anything I was boozy I was just a little boozy bitch

How the fuck I don't got no pot shit He got mad But they were laughing They were laughing in the ass though It was like You don't have shrimp You ain't have shrimp You ain't

strip. But it's never been a thing I don't really fight people. I think I only fought somebody once when I was drunk but other than that like usually I'm just like holding some other girl crying about her parents being divorced. There you go. That's a good start to that. Yeah, imagine you went to Popeyes and they have no chicken. You like to hug though.

That would have been a fight. That would have been weird. I've been to like a sandwich shop that doesn't have bread. Dude, I go to a pizza. I had no cheese. I'm like, yo, it's three clock in the afternoon. What the fuck is going on? That's crazy. Those people should be shot in the back of the head. Making the worst of a margarita. In the street. execution style. Oh, very much.

I've definitely been to a chicken restaurant with no chicken. I lost it. Yeah. I was like, you had one job. Yeah. We could make you fries. Fuck that. I don't want fries. Chicken. I want chicken. Yeah. Finger-licking chicken. I don't know about that far. Yeah. Pause. I don't know about that part.

You don't like finger-licking chicken? I don't want to lick my fingers without chicken. Yo. You're so scared of me. Are you deep-thold? How homophobic are you? You're deep-throating your fucking fingers? I'm not homophobic. Yo. I'm not homophol. This chicken mad g-magoo.

Lawrence is like a prime example of what it was like to still like to be around in the 90s. No, I ain't look at my fingers. That's not true. I like gay jokes. That's just be funny. It's not with me. Yeah, yeah. He's not making fun of gay people, but...

I ain't saying that shit. I got gay friends, though? Yeah, I know. I'm just fucking with you. Shout out Crespo. Well, what's the gayest thing you done? Crespo's not like gay, though. Yes, he is. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, Mike.

Oh, you're good. He sleeves him in men. That's gay. That is gay. Does he really? He also bangs girls. Yeah, I think watching me by after you suck the dick. Yeah, you can.

No, it's the definition of it. It was, uh, this is, it's, it's, it's worse than taking up the butt for some reason. Sucking a dick? Yeah. I think they're both bad. Yeah. They're both bad, I feel like, it's sucking dick the worst and then taking up the butt. Too much pride.

My thing is like, if somebody's like career now, you can get an hour on Netflix. So is your girl like black? She is. Black women are like the most homosexuals? She's not. She's a real nigga. Yeah, exactly. Black women are homophobic as a motherfucker.

Yeah. Most women are homophobic. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. It's like, Hispanic women. A lot of dudes are in the sense that it's like, if I was like my girlfriend's like, I fucked a girl, I immediately would not care.

But if I was like, I fuck the guy, should be like, was it? Yeah, so girls are in general. Yeah, that's not a guy. But that's what it is. Do you think they're jealous? I think the little bit are. They're just like, fuck that man-made shit.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't compete with that, digger? They see a gay guy blowing her boyfriend. She's like, look at him doing a woman's job. That's up James stealing an opportunity. Like, who taught him our secrets? Yeah.

Right. There you go to that nigga. Say his name. What did you think of they do, bad, man? I think it was like a 7.5.7. Yeah, I wasn't blown away by it at all. I didn't fall asleep like everybody else said they did. I was drunk out my fucking mind drinking tequila. But I like drinking in movie theaters.

That's fun. I take a whole bottle. I was like to go to a liquor store and take a whole bottle. Shout to the girls that always got their bag. They got the snacks. Exactly. Yeah. Right, right, right.

Well, because they don't search anything anymore. Like, I'm not anymore. It's just happy to have people there. This dude had a full guitar case on his back. And I was like, Jesus Christ. It's got a gun in there. Yeah, yeah, that's right. But also, that, that, like, that was a little worried in this one about that

because I went to opening day. Like, just because one guy got shot in a bad man movie. I mean, a bunch of people did. But in my mind, every time I see a Batman movie now, I'm like, this is the one where it happens again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine was a nigga like Batman in real life, man.

I would love it. But we need Batman in these streets right now. No, we don't. And Chelsea fucking... It was a homie of mine. But I don't know how to fucking make it... It's also weird Chelsea. I would not expect Chelsea.

Yeah, they closed down two blocks. And like, the thing is, like, my comic brain before I knew was somebody I knew. Did he say something homophobic and a gay dude just pulled out? He's like, fucking beam, pow. Like, not. Just like a luger, like the... Pearl handled, fucking...

The shit that's on the ankle? Yeah. Yeah, he got shot. Say, hey, y'all. Back shot. But, um... Yeah, but like, it happened. And I was like,

The comic part of my brain is just like, I have a Batman mask. I should film a skit because it closed down like two blocks. And I should walk in with my trench coat with the mask. You've been doing this all day. The other day, he just left. Oh, yeah, that was fun. He said, he said the Batman said he just left. I said justice.

Because there's a siren and I said justice. And I ran and I went to go to the grizzly pair. That's the least justice place ever. Yeah. He never came back, though. I never came back for that way. Didn't say a word after it. Nope.

We just had a regular conversation. Like, were you out to justice in his league? And I ran on. Do you have a Batman mask? Yeah, I have a Batman mask. And I call it Bruce Duane. Very black. That thing you can wrestle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I run. I'm the only superhero that runs with the villains when the cops pop up. Well, that's the thing that's there's always the argument. Everybody's like, oh, well, Batman can't be black in a movie or shoot can't be black because the comic book.

But like, you just have to make it a different world. I mean, you can't have a 30s. If Batman was black, though, I mean, he would be late. Not just that. Be black. You weren't save everybody. Everybody would be saying, he's like, yo, I ain't coming at the time. I mean, they put the light up, he gets there like two hours later.

Like, my head. But how? He's like, I was in some pussy. Yeah. He'd be fucking catwoman. No matter how to put you up. Exactly. No matter how to push you up.

He'd be wearing tights. No, no. There's no way he'd be in like a sweatsuit. I would think. Like a night. Waves showing in the head. It'll be a Nike tuituit. That thing would be in a doo-rag, son.

That'd be spinning like a mother-fish. A du rag with the ears on. Oh, my God. That would be hilarious. Oh, that would be hilarious. Oh, fucking love it. Oh, he makes the strings go up. He wears a durike over his eyes.

Yeah. That he's got a cool idea. They go plug with some phone posits? Yeah, he's on, he's on, what the hell is that, the phone company, the cheap one. Oh, fucking cricket? Yeah. Cricket or boots? Metro PCS.

Oh, yeah. They got them. That's that. That's, yeah, Metro PC's a group. He's an annual service, nigga. Yeah. The Badmobile will be tricked to fuck out, too. Oh, that's definitely going to be.

We fly. Depends on that. He's from the south? He's from the South. He's going to be a whoopee would like spin around. Yeah. He would have 32 on that bitch.

Yeah, but if he's... Like from New York, he could probably scam and he'll probably have like a... They have a crisis of 300. You know, what's his name? They were going to have Marlon Wayans play Robin. That's the double shit. That's ridiculous.

When? Okay, so instead of Batman... Instead of Batman forever, they were going to have weird-ass movie never ended up happening. So it was Michael Keyt was going to be Batman again. Marlon Wayne's was going to be Robin. Billy D. Williams, because he played Harvey

then in the first Batman was going to play Two-face. Two-face. I can see Billy D. Williams. I can see the other. Because he played Billy D. Williams, great actor. Yes. Lando Cowrissian. We got it. Save on. And also, greatest commercial of all time, cold 45. I don't like have seen that one.

Oh, it's a beautiful. He's like, you got a impression. My nigga from State Farm. He makes having a cheap alcohol addiction, comfortable. Oh, that's a good point. What's your favorite commercial? Favorite commercial? I mean, that Cole 45 commercials is a classic. berries and cream. The fucking skills

Barry's Barry's and Cream. That shit. Every time I used to I'm like, I'll do the whole dance with that shit. Yeah, it's funny. It's the best commercial. Wait, who would play Black Batman now? Black Batman? Denzo Washington Idris Elba or Chief Keith would be pretty good. Chief

Chief, he's like autistic. Actually, that's perfect. No, wait, no, wait. Yeah, to be fair, Robert Patsy was pretty autistic and he didn't have emotions, yeah. Bro, he was so autistic during that whole movie. I think she, Keith would play Damien Wayne. Oh, I could see that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because he's wild. Oh, so you know this shit. I know a lot. I'm a diehard bat. I'm glad to hear somebody. Like, every time I was talking about things, I'm surprised at your knowledge about.

Yeah, yeah. Because I get, dude, I was pissed. I saw, like, behind the scenes and they didn't know what they were talking. Like, they were talking about shit. And they were like, don't drive you crazy. Yeah, they're like, Thomas Wayne, he's not Batman. I'm like, it's a different fucking guy. And I freak out.

I'm trying to something like, the continuity. Well, all the badman was from a different part of his life. In some dimensions, Thomas Wayne is Batman and his, and Martha Wayne is Joker. Yeah. But I'm like, that's like a well-known thing that they didn't even know. But there's the whole story. There's the whole story that when Batman and Joker was supposed to be brothers. Oh, I never seen that one.

Yeah, that's why his dad got. Oh, like the Joker kind of, that was kind of. Oh, yeah. He kind of went to that part where Joker killed Batman's father because that was his father too. Yeah. I remember all those talks with the Joe came out. Everybody's like, there's Teter's going to get shot up. The Teters can get shot.

It didn't happen. Right. No. But that movie was definitely about mental health. What was the name of that? that one, the killing joke? No, just a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, the Joker was based a lot off of the killing joke, which was a war off. Yeah, he wanted to kill us. Great fucking. The same person that films Euphoria. You see Commissioner Gordon's dick. Yeah, for like two seconds ago. And wait, in the killing joke, I believe he shot Barbara.

Barbara Gordon. She gets paralyzed. Paralyzed her. Yeah. I didn't work. No more. No, yeah. I wish they would do it. I wish they would do it better, like, Harley Clintonville. He's just got like a fucking, this chemical. get your daughter's pussy work here.

Justin. That's what was the funniest thing about Batman's Joker's scene. Batman is so serious while Joker's just so hilarious. About what? About everything. Batman's mad serious. Like, you gotta die.

Joker's like, what's wrong with you, Bats. Yeah, he's just fucking around. Relax, he was just a chill-ass dude. Well,

at the end of the killing joke, Joker broke his own neck because Batman wanted to do it. Right? No, that was a carnival. That's wild. Yeah.

What one was that? That's dark night return. Yeah. That's wild to do. That's one where Batman's just plus. At the end of the killing joke, Didn't tell a joke that made Batman laugh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What was the joke? I don't remember. He was probably one of those comic people. He was like just black people and then he was like It wasn't that he was a bad comedian and he was misunderstood. He was bad, though. I think he was a bad community. He bogged that Dangerfield, dog.

No, yeah, that's the movie one. Now, even in like the comic books, he wasn't that good. At all. Yeah. You know you bad, where you got a super. I think he got fired. I thought about it. He was a really good open maker and think, am I going to be.

Like part of me was just like, some days. Some days I'd be saying some show I'm like, but he on TV. He made fun of me. What is the guy's name? The world's finally laughing. I never got to do danger. I'll walk past it.

Only person I know what I've done Daytonfield is Ronnie Smith. Ronnie Smith. He did Dangerfield. I know. They didn't do mics. They didn't do shows. You had to be someone to book you there.

I could. No bringers or nothing. They seemed like a place that. They didn't do bringers or nothing. You had to know someone in the book you did. It was crazy. There was some kind of stipulation. Yeah, it's the oldest club in the house.

There's probably some old, like, 70-year-old guy. It's like, you got to get booked by Uncle Jesse. And he's like, yeah, I don't like you. You don't got the fucking smith song. We were somewhere one night and Ryan was like, I'm going to Dangerfield. I'm like, what? Who does Dangerfields? They're closed now.

You know, back in the day in New York, there used to be, there was two improvs here and a laugh factory at one time. Yeah. They still have this sign for the laugh factory in Midtown. You can see, because I saw this weird shape of something. That looks like the Laugh Factory logo. And I looked it up. It's like a 40 second or something like that.

That's crazy. Isn't it crazy that Boston Comedy Club was right there? I wish that place was still. That shit was crazy. It's right there before the village. Like, right there. It's fucking beautiful. The new Boston Comic Club is the pair, definitely.

Oh, yeah, definitely. 100%. Is it treated the same way that was, though? No, but it's not treated the same because everybody's more industry nowadays. No one tries to heckle like no other comic tries to heckle another comic. You're fucking hacky. That's what we bring him back. Yeah.

It's just heckling another comic. We are, though. I mean, yeah, we should give each other a tough time. I heard people in a cell. At least after the show. Especially if there's only four people in the audience. Yeah, yeah. Let's have some fun.

The other night, I was there two guys from Russia and one dude, or no, two guys from Ukraine and one were from Russia. That was the whole fucking audience. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. Yo, did they fight? No, no. Every time somebody brought it up, it was just not cool.

Like, I was, I'm like, if it's funny joke, but like every joke, we come here to nobody's here. World War III. Somebody bobbed and he goes, was that the set-up to the joke? But just like, is black people came up? Where is the punchline? Yeah, exactly. Instead of saying, I have a black friend, the guy goes, my friend is black guy.

It still has, like, the essence of, like, sometimes, like, other comics will look and watch another comic. Like, I think the last time it was at the pair, Joe Levy went up. And then just, like, a whole bunch of comics were just watching Joe Levy. And Joe Levy is kind of having, like, a half meltdown. So he's just like, he's like, I keep the fucking clitoris of the jars. And all the covers were like, yo. What is he talking about for all cheering him on? That's classic delivery.

I was at, I did a show there the other day. There was like a group of Swedish people that actually bought tickets online. That's the same. Yeah, I was like, you guys must be the first. I've ever bought tickets online. Friday, Saturday, they have more. But also, they told me that they're trying to do less online because they want the barkers to make money. But as a barker, I'm like, you know, they can sell some more online.

Yeah. It's like, so I can just do regular spots. You want the audience. Yeah. Like, at a certain part, you're just like, I'd rather just have the audience. But the barking is still cool. Yeah, because I just got fired for my job. I'm like, oh, now I can make money doing that.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do with the Lantern, too. Hope you guys know, Michael Good is going through bad life right now. I'm going through all. Dude, I'm going, my fucking friend died. I'm sick. I got five.

Everything's, like, just shitty right now. You can always tell by a white guy's hair. How bad you're going to. How bad are you doing that? When you saw it like, John, Tina, you're not doing good in life. Really? Yeah, a month and a half ago. I'm sorry about that, man.

That's all. I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want to bump out the power. Nah. Well, you did. What did you die, man? No, listen, like, and I never let this thing home alone. Like, it was a... Oh, it's important.

It's important to do it. You got to make sure it's something. I know a lot of people are like, oh, if you commit suicide, you go to hell and whatever. We don't even know if there's a world to come. I believe. That's what the priest implied at the fucking funeral. It was so awkward. That's weird.

He's like, yeah, we don't know technically if he'll go to heaven or not. We're like, what? Like, I prayed for him. You're a priest. You're that going to happen. I wish I was there for that. Make me feel safe, nigga. You're a priest.

You're not going to heaven. But he started backtracked. He's like, technically, I don't know if I'm going to heaven. Yeah, he's trying to fucking, fucking go. Nobody knows. That's why you need a black dude. You need a black, a black preacher. He was great.

He had a rough life. Don't bring up his pads. It's a Sunday. God bless the Lord. Remember him for who he was, not what he did. Don't do as I say. Exactly. He's like, that boy went to hell.

That boy been fucking random. He's like white people, man. Have you been to, how many white churches have you been to? Nick, I grew up Mormon. Oh, so. So I had a majority, like, white. That seems like the worst one too. Yeah.

Yeah. It's pretty fucking white. Oh, shit, you're a long time. Yeah. Damn, cuss. So I had been to a lot of white churches. I've been to a Baptist church before and Catholic, like Spanish Catholic. But Mormon, that's some wild shit.

That's wild. Spanish Catholics are always. They're always my bad bits of golden book in the hills of upstate New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's really to fuck. Like, if you're in primary, you're ready to fuck. Was it your choice to grow up Mormon or your mom? It was a family thing.

Like, most of my family just became Mormon. The cool uncle, huh? Yeah, the cool uncle became Mormon. My cool uncle became Mormon. Then he became, like, a certain level within Mormon church where he's, like, close to the, whatever the fuck. He was in general. Yeah, and then we all just had to keep going.

He was like, yeah, you have to have one bitch. But then we all became teenagers and ratchet, so we're just like, nah, we'd rather just fuck fish. You're like, you're like, I'll stay for the one. wives, I wish I would have if I would have knew it was easier to fuck girls

back in, like, in Mormon church, I would probably stay a little bit longer. Yeah, what are the views on that? That's the thing is you can't have multiple wives, right?

But it's like, how do they talk about it? Because it's not legal, but like you can do it in certain. I would say, I would say, I knew how our era is with bitches you can get,

as much as you want now. The way they talked about sex is just like, if you are fucking, you might as well get married to the bitch. And you might as well have babies.

Yeah. That's how they do it. Yeah. But there was one girl that really got pregnant by the one guy. Marry the bitch. Marry the bitch and love her good. Exactly. I think what?

But there was one girl that got pregnant by one guy, and then they really made her get, like, married. Like, her parents were like, you're going to get married. Like, and the guy had to get married. It was like 19, 18. Oh, so. I would have ran away. Pretty much. But also, it's less scary because he's like, okay, I got married to you and then, like, three other groups.

You know what I mean? It's not. Exactly. So my nigga future. Exactly. I would, I would have been a monster if I would have the confidence I have now and fuck bitches in the Mormon church. I'll watch Mormon porn.

I mean, it's probably not a great thing to say, but that's not actually... That's your search tab? Basically, they're fucking with the name tag. Right. Is it a search tab? You used to be a show on HBO. Big love.

Big love? It was a, yeah, dude, and there was like four houses connected, and his lives lived in each one of them. And they called the Big Love. You never watched it? No. No.

That's much of watching. The dude, I was... Hey, Bill. And they were like in Arizona or some shit. Where were the Mormons be at Arizona? Utah. Utah. They were in Utah. Utah is interesting state. Do they have the laws where they can get married?

No, it's all illegal. All their compounds are illegal and there's weird stuff going on to the kids and shit like that. They wear pajamas. It's so funny how dumb that is, though. Are you married to all these women that you're fucking used? They wear pajamas. They're not legal marriages, but their marriage is under the law. Under the out way.

Science, they don't fuck with that. That's cool. That's somebody, that's fucking cool. You can have that? Yes, that's very cool. You have five wives. We don't got to get the law involved in this shit. Well, the Muslims do it too. Really?

Shout out Adam Hamada. He said, yeah. Shout out. He said Muslim. You can't. Muslim. The Muslims can happen. It's Muslim.

You say Muslim. That's how you say Muslim in prison. Yeah. So you know. You're a Muslim. All right. All right. God, body.

They just, you know, you need pork, my nigga. Right. Like, yo, what's up? He got body. He got body. But they can have. more than one wife? Yeah, depending on

there's Sunni and Shiite. I don't know which one side may be more prone to having I could be wrong in this But I'll tell you this When the Muslims used to pray when I was in the joint I used to like go in front of them in breakdance I don't want that shit on me

Did they get pissed? I'd sing like key sweat and shit I try to get them riled up That's crazy And then they could I remember we called it That's the first time anybody's ever wanted to rile up a Muslim.

Most people, I feel like, especially after not, they're like, let's fucking make sure they're chilling. Let's make sure they're relaxed. I don't know what I fuck is being like, yo, call me Rahim. I'm like, yo, your name is Byron, bro. Joe Byron. Shut the fuck up. Big Byron. Yeah.

Yeah, no, there was a dude, yo, call me Rahim. There's always a Rahim. Was that they were white dudes, we get long beards and be Muslim, or is it only? No, I didn't see many white Muslims. It's like black dudes in the Middle East, right? I saw white, white 5 percenters. You was dancing to Keith sweat That's really rare

I would say I'd be like I want to tease you Nobody Yeah I want you That's culture right there Michael do you know I don't know about that

You can tell by look about I'm fucking show long Yeah You know Keith sweat Keith is the first He's the reason why Most of us are born

To go platinum first of all What He's telling you false stuff That's just like He's like the first nigga that bitch is loved So I saw white 5%ters, which was wild.

Because the 5%ers believed that the black man is God. Arm, leg, leg, arm head. Yes, yes. You know, triple darkness, all that, supreme mathematics. But it was this weird to see white. Nah, that's shit, nice. Yeah, how was he saying it? Like, how was he letting him?

He's like, I ain't good, but he thinks it's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all, the dude was in great shape. Could snap somebody's neck in like that second, right? I remember him being in a good. like, out of nowhere. I'm just sitting at the table

we're like, I'm playing cards or something. I'm just out of nowhere. He, like, stares off into like the tear and he goes, yeah, some people say that I'm,

I'm a black man trapped in a white man's body. And I was like, all right, first trans- All right, man. I'm gonna fucking, yeah,

so I'm not albino, but I'm the opposite. Yeah. I will never say, nigger, but best believe it's in my heart. Now, I will tell you this.

The nations of God's and Earth, to me, it was very, it was an interesting. It was an interesting thing, the god bodies. Yeah, yeah. You know, it was interesting. We heard them come.

I hate them niggas a lot. Really? I don't like them. What are they? The niggas that come to your door at the worst time. Oh, you think, no, that's a Jehovah's Witness. No, not the Jehovah. I'm talking about the niggas.

Oh, you're on the street corner. Oh, you get the Hebrew woods. Yeah, that's different. Yeah, yeah. They come to your door, too, nigga. They wear, the motherfuckers are wearing bracelets and gauets and shit. They had one of the show. They're like, wonder what I was like, is anybody out there?

I was like, is anybody at there Jewish in a black guy raised his hand? And I was like, oh, wait a second. My brother, my brother. Yeah. You're like, you're definitely going to get this one. Yo, them guys, I remember because there was a Hebrew-Israelite synagogue in East New York. I went to go over there one time. They were like, no, man, we don't let your kind in here.

And I was like, God damn, like this shit. That's, dude, I saw him talking about. They hate whites. I talked to one about Chinese people. And they think that they're all retarded. What, Chinese? There's a part of the black Israelite. They go, Chinese people, because they're like, they're like, look at there in the Bible, it says that like, Mongol, Mongolo, and they're like, yeah, look, they're, they're all.

They got the eyes of them. Well, that's where the word of Mongoloid came from. Now, Mongoloid was used to, it has for, like, retardation. Yeah, yeah, that's a, it was one way or the other. I think they named, Mongolia, like, they named, they named retarded people. It was, like, racist thing. They saw, like, really.

They're like, oh, you look like... Money must die. And that's because of chromosome and shit. Yeah. Oh, man, you got that. Wow. Yeah, we're getting... This is...

I like this conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I should have like a notepad and, like, take these notes back home with me. Mongol, Mongol. Oh, Michael Goodside. What's the... Everything comes from something like, fuck.

You know, it's like, everybody's like, don't call something gay, call it lame. It's like, well, lame... Is gay. Disabled people. So it's like nothing really comes from... Oh, it's a lame at, like, the wrist. Oh, it's slim.

The half of fags. Yo. That's not like you're like you limp dick faggut. Well, my cousin Shari, she used to always do the limp wrist, right? And that's how she walked around. And then some of my other, like, my boy cousins would take on her. And then my aunts would freak the fuck out. They'd be like, don't you fucking stand like that.

Stay away from Sherry. He's like, what the fuck is the problem? What's going on? My dad caught you on my hand on my head. He's like, what the fuck? Yeah, that was another big one back to him too. Man shall not stand with their hands. hands on their head.

And the thing is, it's so fucking hard when you're trying to, like, play, like, I was on a basketball team. You would try that after working out? Yeah, nigga. It's the best feeling, though. It's the best feeling. Your dad comes out and a word of slaps in the back.

What I told you about that shit. Yo, if I got an and one. Breathe, digger, breathe. If I got an end one and I'm waiting for the rough to give me the ball, I have my hands on my hips and one. And everyone someone's like, yeah. Exactly. You're like, fuck, I got to make three days.

Exactly. I want to be a Chris bunch. I think at the end of the day, my dad would be the most okay if I was gay. Really? Yeah. I don't know how it. I've always thought about fake doing it just to see.

Not like fake, like banging. Fake coming out. Like bake it just to see how they were. I think my father would never speak again. Really? He just goes like this. He had too much like, you know,

between all the shit, my brother and myself put him through. He's like, they're like Derek's gay. He's like, now, now? Right. Or me in the prison.

Yep. He chooses to be gay now. Stay like this until. I don't know. He'd be comitose of vegetable? Come on, John, time to eat. Fucking feeding him baby food and shit and shit. It's weird, too, because I don't know if my dad was gay, I wouldn't like it.

Really? I wouldn't. You're not my father no more. Nope. Wow. He's like, I'm not homophobic. I have gay friends, but my dad was gay. That's different, that's different.

How's that different? You just some old nigga I knew from birth. I was trying to tell a joke one time where it was like, if my son was gay, I would support him, but I would still be like, hey, yo. I guess it's just not that funny, though. To me, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's hilarious to me, you know, but, hey, yo. I'd be like, yo, I love you for who you are, but hey, yo.

Ain't no bananas in this house. Yeah. Now, I would still love my child if they were gay. Yeah, yeah, don't be slapping. I love the jokes, and then immediately were like, but I do like this. Yeah, I love my nigga. I love my nigga. I had a cousin one time and said if you had a gay kid, he's throwing the trash.

This is the thing. The conversation, right? I feel like if men, straight men are getting, we're getting beat up now, too. You know, it's like, why can't we all just talk about each other and make have over these stereotypes? I agree with that, but it's also very hard for me to hop on board because I'm always on board. Right. But I'm also like, I'm none of the things.

So it's very easy to be like, dude, yes, let's make Mexican jokes. Let's make gay jokes, all of them. Right. But everybody's like, yeah, of course you're on board with that. But I, yeah, I think that's the thing. It's like, yeah, it's kind of dumb to be like any subject you can't. Because it's like, I'll make fun of my mom. That doesn't mean I don't love my mom.

Right. Yeah. Right. Like when my dad met my mom, my dad took her on a boat on the Hudson Way. out on the river and then he tried to fuck her. Like, that's some creepy-ass shit. But you were this. But I mean,

this was probably. Way before her, I was like, Mom, do you do it? She's like, yeah, I was so far out in the water. What was I supposed to say? I was trying to get home. That's crazy. You could even comment your dad at the time. She's like, yo, you know, you've seen your father?

She's like, nah, I was out in the middle of the water. That's a question. What's your next? You don't want to ask your parents how they met? Nah, facts. You don't find out who's the freak? Yeah, I was flabbergasted. Well, that's the crazy thing.

It's like somewhere. down the line, somebody was raped to make you. Like, if you think about all the generations back, of course. I mean, it's just, it's true. You have people, that's why. Bro, that's what civilizations did. Yeah, well, that's a hard argument, though, because I know people that are like... So legalized rape.

I mean, what? People that are, like, have Native American are like, my people were raped. I'm like, I understand that, but also your people were the rapists. Because you are... You probably raped, too, nigga. I just want to say this. I believe that any

white person that claims Native American ancestry should have their house taken from them. Yeah. That's the fact. They're lame, their house. Yeah, because you're not on fucking tribal land. They can fucking... You don't own it no more? Go upstate.

Yo. Yeah, that is the funny. Like the Elizabeth Warren stuff. It's so fucking funny. I'm like, come on. It's just hilarious to say. Yeah, yeah, to say, I'm fucking... What does she say? She's one-eighth Cherokee or some shit? She's one-eighthockey, though. Oh, cow.

It's like at that point you had nothing like nothing negative happening because of that You only got like a college scholarship No it's not The good Native Americans are the minds and the Incans Those Central American ones Those are the ones that were like I don't know they did sacrifice babies

They all disappeared bro That's what I disappeared We all like no matter where we come from It's all started as tribal Yeah and like We come from war dog Yeah bro Viking sacrifice Christians sacrifice Jews

I just don't like how they go back time and pick which one to take back and see like, oh, this is wrong. I mean, they're all was wrong. Bro, we were all just trying to figure out how to live. We're like, oh, shit, there's cool stuff over there, but there's people there. They don't look like us. Let's put our dick in them.

Somebody had a funny bit about that. I forgot who who was, they were talking about. They were like, what did you think they were just going to show up to America and Native America? Like, oh, I guess we got to go back to Europe. You know, they were kind of fuck. I'm not say they should have done it, but I don't know what the out would be. Okay, never mind, bye. We'll go back to. The older I get, the more I respect, Christopher Columbus.

You're like, you do what you do, bro You have the most unbiased As a black guy, you have no I respect the nigga With no knowledge of a place to take it over That's pretty fire It's just funny to me that they thought They were in India

Yeah, yeah, yeah And they didn't smell like tumor Wasn't that suspicious? He thought the earth was flat Yeah, yeah This is the funniest shit They was like A Christmas Columbus was the first person

Discover it There was niggas here already He literally said that He's like, oh, this India's here Let's take it over Yeah, yeah And then it's also like Yeah, that's, I mean, did they have any knowledge of Indian cold?

Like, because they probably had, they had, you know, knowledge back then. No, who was the first one to hit India? What was his name? Damn, forget it. Probably a British guy, I'm guessing. I don't know. He was the concoise. Who was the dude that found China?

Marco Polo, was he in India for a little bit, too? Marco Polo was in China. But they stole spaghetti from China. Yeah, yeah. Lo-Maine. Yeah. And they came back to, they're like, oh. I just, I respect Chris McClumb, but no knowledge to just take it over.

I mean, he was doing a job. The fucking, the queen was like, go find me some shit and you did it. Yeah. Put the flag down. It's my name. I mean, bro, there's so much fucked up shit. Is it happening?

In the world, it's like, what? Nothing. It's really bad. People don't talk a lot about, like, the Asian genocides. Like, there's a lot of shit. There's a lot of things. Bill was a cunt, bro.

Yeah. She was a cunt. She was like, all right, convert or die. And people convert it. She's like, as a matter of fact, just leave or die. You know what I mean? We got to talk about that.

Anything to get the topic off of what my ancestors did. You went the only one I mean Bro, you know what they say If you point a finger at somebody There's three point back at you Right

I didn't like that, yeah Yeah, that's it for everybody Is that shit? No one is perfect No one's perfect We're bad people Our parents are bad people Our grandparents

We were raised by bad people Well if you also think about I bring this up on every fucking episode But like there's fucking People were pedophiles Until like 50 years ago We're the only We're the only country that

That has like an age limit. Oh, age of consent? Yeah, like, every state's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every age consent. Dude, I was watching a movie the other day. They were like at Texas and he's like, she's fucking 17. He's like, she's fucking legal.

And I was like, oh, yeah, I guess that technically. Yeah, it's legal, right? Francis Ellis has a great song about all the ages in every state. Really? For every state and the legal age and every state. He remembers every state. Yeah. It's a crazy. It's important information to be traveling.

Yeah, about, it was like right after all the Epstein shit happened. Oh, so you made a song? Dude, it's fire. That's beautiful. It's fucking fire. Wait, how did he get in trouble that if he was international? Oh, I guess he got them from Florida. Mike's like got to find his loophole.

It wasn't that bad. It was the Canary Islands. That those bitches you could. No, I'm just saying. Imagine just the Canary Islands you could just fuck any age. I mean, that is kind of what, like, in theory. That would be hard to press. Like, I think the problem is they took women from like Florida or girls.

But like, I think if you were on there. That was the only problem, Mike? No problem. They were illegal. They were eight years old, my name. Do you guys think they killed people? Of course they did. They had to.

There's a whole conspiracy about the red shoes. I don't think they did sacrifice. This is what I think. I think it's a sigh-up. I think, no, I think it's a sigh-up. I think literally those elites,

they purposely put in information about like, oh, they eat baby blood just to make it look crazier. Like, I think, I'm this is how crazy I'm. And plus they're holding something over all their heads, right?

See that more of what your hair looks like that. Listen, I think, I think, I think, fucking January 6th, I think some of it was people genuinely storing the Capitol, I think there was an active movement, this is misinformation, I don't give a shit, there's an active movement to decredit QAnon to get this,

to make it look crazier, to get them like, like, I think there's purposely people that go into Q&on group chats, and spread misinformation, so they look crazy. You go out, you could be right because they did that to the Black Panthers. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah. They had people that went to the black Panthers to fucking assemble them to seem like they're radicals. Yeah. So

why would they not do that with somebody who's saying the government's pedophiles? Why wouldn't you be like, oh, we're not pedophiles? Or, or, we are, but like, we are, but like, we sacrifice babies and do this. And they're like, oh, that's crazy. Who thinks that? My favorite shit is with Bill Clayton said. He was like, he was like, aren't you on the island? He was like, I was on the plane. I did not go to the island. I was like,

I was like, never left. Like Willie. He just staying on the plane, though. Stay on the plane like a motherfucker, bro. The best was Prince Andrew because he had that interview where he's like, they were like so, he looks like a creep dude. Oh, he is. And he was like, I know he was like a very horny guy. Like, apparently he, like, banged a bunch of like hookers in like this 80s or

whatever. But the interview is so funny because they said during Jeffrey Epstein's indictment, you visit him in jail. He's like, yep, I went to go and say, hey, guess what, Jeffrey? We're not friends anymore. And he goes, yeah, but it says you stayed at his house for seven days afterwards. He's like, it was a convenient place to stay. I stayed there for a little bit. It says you had a party with him that Saturday.

He goes, it wasn't a party. There was like five or six people. And then he says this shit. He says that he can't sweat because the woman who he fucked was like, said he was sweating the whole time. He's like, I can't sweat. That was his argument. I physically have a condition. I'm like, no, you can fucking sweat.

No, there's some people that can't sweat. My gym teacher couldn't sweat. That's disgusting. I'm sure he was also a pedophile. Yeah, of course. They keep their cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I found out one of my neighbors was a pedophile in the weirdest way.

I get getting fucked by. Not like that. His house burned down. Well, he was like, I was, yeah, the house came and they seemed a yet mad child pornography. Ah. How mad must, he's like, why did that not burn? That's the one thing I need to fucking burn. Can I tell you so?

I feel like they give longer senses to the child pornography than they do to actual. He's also baseball clothes too. Also, like, the people that fuck kids don't get as much. Like, yeah, the people who are, like, selling child porn and, like, dealing child. I feel like they get more time. Because they're making money.

Dude, I remember I was going to this, like, that's a good point. I was going to this recovery center, like this outpatient, right? Those are a lot of guys who've been incarcerated. And I remember one dude telling me, we were smoking a cigarette outside. He's like, yo, there's mad pito's in here. There's mad pee-pee touches.

and I was like, yo, are you fucking serious? And then we went online. And I was like, so many people we were in groups with were fucking pedophiles. And the motherfuckers were trying to say they had a drug problem.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And then I was looking at their sentences. I mean, six, seven-year-old children, they got like a two to four. Yeah, that's crazy. One in a third to four, it's like, are you at,

this is insane. This motherfucker should be doing 15 years. Yeah, let's call it what it is. You know what I mean? Like, you there murdered. Yeah. Yeah. There's something you can solve.

That's literally how they feel. The thing is this, if you have, if they have, it, it, there's, there's a moral deficiency with these people. Right. Yeah. That something in them doesn't work right in their brain. Yeah. And they will always be attracted to children.

Yeah. But the fact that someone who's selling weed back in the day got fucking 10, 15 years and then this motherfucker just destroyed a family and probably another family and another family after that. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah, he's fucking wild. I changed, I was like,

I can't be in here around these motherfuckers. My biggest thing about the prison system is that they all should be in the same prison together. There's no way... It would be a blood bath. There's no way... There's no way a dude that's been arrested for assault should be in a prison

or a dude that's arrested for a pedophile. It's not the same thing. Well, they keep them separate. Yeah, but they do have some prison where they put them together. Yeah. My dad was in prison with the... From Jerry from Subway.

Are you serious? In the same... Same prison. but how close was he to him? He wasn't in the same block or tier. I didn't. I don't know about the same cell block, but the same prison.

That's close enough. Yeah. That is pretty close. There's units for them. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Arms length is the rule. That's wild, though.

You're supposed to. And Mendezes was there too. Who? Mendezesies from Harlem. Same prison. Jared from Southwood. That's so fun. Has he joined the Nazis?

Yeah. When they were all together, that was in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Oh, he's in the Fed's. He pops. Yeah. Brown.

Free Pops. Yeah, that's what we're promoting. Shout out Lawrence's pops. You're right. Free pops, free mom soon. Say, gay, gay, gay, gang, gang, gang. I don't know what he did. Free him.

Exactly. That's the energy that you should have. He didn't even do nothing. That's right. Yeah. There you go. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Yeah. It's funny because, like, you know, like, that one teacher that's definitely like. A pedophile? Like, not a pedophile, but just like, you, you get too close. Should be crazy with us. We can't. We hang with teachers sometimes.

They was doing this when they were teaching us. Dude, we had. I had a teacher that wasn't. a comic and that was like the most hilarious I felt like she was running bits. Now looking back, she was definitely running bits on us. And also she was so, she was so close to fucking super loser.

But she was so close to fucking one of us that I'm just like, yo, I'm like. And so she could talk about it in her fucking probably. So I fucked this kid. Yeah, so I fucked one of my student. This is that bad. She was black. She moved from Texas to come over into New York for a guy. Oh, and then I don't, like, probably like 20 something, probably 30,

close to 30. But then like, she good looking? She was all right, but like not the Glasses? No. White? White? Definitely work. She used to call,

this is how Southern she was. She used to call, like, people, kinfolk. Hey, kinfolk. But, like, when you call, like, the black kids that know Southern shit, they'll be like, don't call me kinfolk. What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch? He was family, my nigga.

That's hilarious. I was too. Shut up, white bitch. But, like, she was just so weird. She said she wanted little, I'm trying to not say my guy's name, little fucking. Louise?

Eguardo's in her. I think his name is Eduardo. He said, Egwardo to cover it up. The name was Eggwater. No, no. No, no. We found him. I know exactly who it is.

But it's just always funny. Like, you see those type of teachers. Well, I had one gym teacher that kind of was a little bit too close. And now my friend sent me, like, recent screenshots of what she, he comments on one of the students. Oh, that's kind of creepy. And he was just like, yeah, you're like the most beautiful girl in L.A., blah, blah, blah, blah. And all, like, those shit. He was just like, yo, he has a wife and kids.

Why he's trying to ruin this? Yeah. And then I looked at him. I was like, yo, bro, she's a fucking Spanish girl that has, like, miscarriages. That's fucking rare shit Yeah I just think about that shit We had multiple

We had one The middle school I went to We had one And then my high school We had a couple Where did you grow up Florida yeah yeah Of course

Oh yeah Did you grow up in the same town As Dan Carney No we were like Damn It's bad over there Holy shit Danny Warren from near

You was close to Orlando right Yeah it's from Orlando right Yeah it's from Orlando Barney had his teacher Try to have another teacher killed Oh I didn't know but that's beautiful I went to college of Cardi Wow

Yeah he had a teacher I gotta have him talking about Yeah, he had a teacher trying to hire a hip-in. Really? FSU. Yeah. That's crazy. To kill another teacher because that teacher said he was a pedophile.

Dang. Yeah. That's badass. What it's a bad ass? What's beef? Beef is where it's hard to sleep up in the streets. Don't call me a pedophile motherfucker. So go ahead.

No, no. We had one, though. He got in trouble. He was a swim coat. No, we had multiple. He was a swim coach. So he had a goggles tan and his mugshot. Which is so funny because he said like a white outline.

I think he pedophiles are real. Boys or girls. They're both. He didn't actually. So, like, he, what happened was, uh, he, like, was like a Latin teacher and a swim coach. And he, like, he was Spanish. No, no, no. He was Spanish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he, uh, that somehow makes it better. But he's not. I know, I don't know. I see why you know, kids. Yeah. But he fucking said to the girl, like, oh, meet me in my house. Me me outside.

Yeah, tell your friends. Tell your parents, tell your parents that you're sleeping at a friend's house. And then he showed up to a park a lot. Oh, he was open about his. And then fucking cops showed up. Yeah. So he didn't actually do it, which is. good he didn't do anything.

He's on some ketchup pressure shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he got, he got back. Was he hot? So I see you were here. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that's why he got, he got told on. Yeah, yeah.

I think teachers, it tells a lot about you what, what you teach in school as a teacher. Oh, yeah, Latin. The art teachers always, they either fire once. Yeah. Who was the hottest teacher? Like, what, what subject was the hot-ass teacher? Because we all had a different generations. That makes sense.

Oh, yeah. She was a big. She looked like that bitch from Matilda? Bro, that. Oh, my God, bro. Yo, yo, her hair, she had, dude, she was like a dude. I remember we were playing kickball one time, and I blasted that bitch with the ball in the face. And she was just like, he just proved my point.

Lesbian teacher, Jim, makes perfect sense. I think it kind of works. She was in great shape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of lesbians do you look at it. Track suit fucking home hot. Yeah, dude, she was like a man. Yeah.

I don't know if dude should be allowed to teach. Well, Jim. Hold on now. You could solve the pedophile problem very fast if you just, only girls. But there is girls. Girls be raping this too, bro? Yeah, but it's, it's... It is different.

It is different. How would that make any sense? Girls be grooming guys as well. For some reason, if an older woman sleeps with a younger man, it's not as bad. Because we're supposed to be able to protect ourselves. Well, I think as women as, like, delicate flowers, bro. I'm a delicate flower, too. Yeah.

I got touched. You also can't tell us someone with a pedophile either. That's a fact. I mean, I feel like I got a good... You got a petfall radar. I can grasp on like that muffles. was weird. He was probably a pedophile.

Yeah. Oh, in comedy, bro? You got a good grass. No, no, right? No. No. He touched me a little bit. He got the pedophile.

Wait a second. The way that they rubbed the back was a little pedophileish. Yeah, no comment. We'll cut it out. I'm sorry. A lot of comics have been... No, I mean...

Yeah, yeah, you could kind of... I get what you're saying. There are vibes you can get from somebody. I feel like there's so many weirdos in comedy, too. Oh, 100 or two. It's crazy. Some of the people you meet, you're like, you're like, oh, you're fucking...

nuts. And not like, there's like a fun nut. Like schizophrenic. Yeah, yeah. I think at some point at the comic you skits. I mean, I think it's different than like, you could tell with some people where you're like, oh, you're not good with socially being. It's funny, the high you get in comedy, the mental, like, the more they're able to manage a mental disability. No, it's just weird that these people are allowed to walk the streets. Yeah. You've never seen any people before comedy. No. As soon as you've got a comedy, should we touch on my old, my dad. The, like, what? The people who are in the streets that are being released. from jail and RORD.

What is this? Harrah. Like, you deal with it. You're on McDougal every day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you talk about that a lot on the podcast or no? Yeah, but no, it's good to talk about it because they know everybody you're talking about it.

So you talk about it on different episodes, that'll be good. Yeah, so like, like, you see you had a fight recently, right? I had to a fight outside of the comedy shop. I lost my show there, whatever. I don't give a fuck. Oh, you lost it? Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. The last one you were on. Really? I thought you had another one after that. No, I was it. But you don't have your show there no one? Nah. Damn.

I know. I was going to do an all-black show. Look at that. Crazy. Yeah. I was trying to... Because of that? It's crazy because you have people for it.

Well, the thing is, we have like six, seven people in there. You still had people. Well, the night... So my first show there. My first show, you know, there that night, me and Gio, I ended up getting into a physical altercation with... Is that Ogeo? One of the... One of the, the, uh, the folks on the block, you know?

What do you look like? Stand by it. He was tall. He might have been Indian or Dominican. Yeah, broad shoulders. I don't know. I wasn't there. And he was clean.

He wasn't... I don't think he was homeless. No. He might have been living like an adult group home close by. He'll have been a very long beard. It was a good beard. Are you a cop, Mike? It was a...

I told you he's the new flat TV. Right. It was a healthy beard. Yeah. It was a healthy beard. Derek keep telling him who he looked like too. I mean, he was just harassing and threatening for about a half hour before I finally fucking...

Yeah, I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. And, um, I mean, it is, it's getting every, every day. Tell us what else he looked like. What's that? There's a recording. We're already being recorded. Um, they're like, like, it's, it's crazy.

Like, every, it's like, like, because I remember I lived here like two years ago and it's way different. McDougal Street was like nowhere near what it is now. Dude, you would think two years ago at the beginning of the pandemic, it would have been worse, but it feels like it's worse now. Yeah. And I feel like bail reform has a lot to do with that because look at the, the girl that got murdered in Chinatown a few weeks

ago. They were trying to say Asian hey, but like it was just a crazy person. Yeah, guy should not have been on the streets. I was there the night, like that night after I was around like right when they blocked off the whole shit. It was fucking crazy. Some a bitch got murdered her fucking father. He followed her into her apartment like, he had the wherewithal to sneak in like how a motherfucker

in a movie would. He was a block behind. Her door was about to shut. He fucking got in there, crept up. Same thing with her apartment door. And they lay in a house. didn't hear this, nigga. The landlord, like, had steel doors. That's the problem. She was listening to her phone.

She was listening to call my dad and it missed all that. Exactly. The moment I get closer to my house, I take on my headphones, I'm like, I'm super It'd be nice how even with my headphones all. Sometimes I'll have one in, but it'll be off. Yeah. It'd be nice how I don't talk to you or like, yeah. Yeah. But, like, it's dangerous to a point where it's like, if I feel like I have to protect

myself, I'm probably going to protect myself. I know it's usually fight, flight, or freeze. Yeah. Yeah. Open your citizens. You know, yeah. The cops ain't coming to do nothing, man. No.

Yeah. So at a certain point, it's up to you to either take care of yourself by running or You better to handle that fucking business. I don't fight homeless people because I don't know what the fuck they have most of the time. And homeless people usually have like some crazy shit. Like, sorry. I know this guy has a, he has a wooden umbrella in the hand, like just a handle. Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And you don't know if they're crazy enough to put shit on it and like fucking, like, You could die. They don't give a fuck about their life. Why would they care about yours? Exactly. So I would rather fight someone

that looks way more put together because I'm like, all right, this is gonna be like closer to a fair one. That's a funny shit. That's what happened that night. I was like, this dude, he's got a nice bike. I mean, that's true.

Exactly. It's closer to a fair one. And he seems so coherent with what he was saying. And it's like, and he kept threatening with a spray bottle. And then finally I was like, I don't think there's anything in that bottle.

Right. Right. Yeah, let's find out. You know what I mean? But on the other day, on my way to Old Man Hustled in Brooklyn on Bedford, somebody tried to rob me. Like, try to snatch my hat off my head on a bike and then just circled me. I was like, yo, man. That's some wild shit thing.

I'm not being robbed that bike than you have to. Like, let's just get, you knock them off the bike. See, I don't get any. No, I want to come off the bike. Oh, wow. Go ahead. People go two ways. I was talking to Charlie Dawson was here yesterday.

He gets a lot of fights. He goes two ways. He goes two ways. Yeah, he goes two ways. But you look tough. so people also try to fight you. Like all my friends, I'm in between,

so I don't get it as much. Like, if you're in between. I think I'm in between as well, so I don't really get it. Yeah, but if you're, I have friends that are fucking yoked, people constantly try to fight them. Yeah, because it's like, oh,

it's a challenge. They want to get into masculinity. But if you're in between, like me, they're like, I don't know, maybe. I've been just calm and chill and somebody just challenged me. I'm like, bro, you don't want this. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but the thing is, if someone challenged me too, I also look at them like they're stupid and I really look at them like, do it. So I'm like, I'm just really questioning. I'm like, just fucking do it. But this is what gets me heated.

No one really tries to... You challenge me, and then when I take my shit off, now you want to act like you're going to have no problems. Yeah. I'm like, now I'm going to am up. I got to hurt somebody. Yeah. They don't run away now.

That guy was harassing me for a half hour, and when it came time to get busy, he didn't do a goddamn thing. That's all they all. He didn't do a goddamn thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? And...

How did it start? Was he just out of the blue? Just... He was fucking with Joe, Senra at first and I went over there I went up. Which is my shot you I'm fucking. You know Joe got a smart-ass mouth. No, Joe was

literally minding his own business. It's one of those days though. Yeah. And because Joe usually has a smart ass mouth. Yeah. No, and Joe I mean, Joe was like, I don't want to turn my back in sky. I got you. And then when Joe went away, the guy found another person. Yeah, focused on me. Spit towards me, called me a faggot. I'm like, I that's two strikes, motherfucker. You know what I mean? Right there. And then

He spit at you? He spit towards me. Yeah. I got I got to get you up. I'm not someone that was like, oh, my hustle one time because he's bad miles. Took them right outside, be them up. Yeah.

I mean, so the thing is, this is, I know this is, I don't want to hit you with, like, serious fucking topics, but I was just talking about my friend on himself.

You're kidding. I'm against, you know, ex-cons against bail reform. Derek Dresher. I'm running for marriage. I knew it. I knew it.

This was the fucking campaign this whole time. Wait, I don't even know what it is. What is bail reform? I mean, bro, they're just letting everybody out.

If you're poor, you're getting out. Yeah. Oh, so if you can't pay your bail, you're probably getting out. Yeah, I mean, dude, they don't even set bail anymore. Like, you could slap me in the face right now. I could call the police on you. And everybody finally got bail? And they would be... Well, he'll got no bail yet. Well, that happened with the... Oh, uh, K. Average Average Ackerman. But if you seem... Oh, but if you seem like, he's in another state.

With that happened with a homeless guy on McDougal Street. So this guy, he, like, assaulted somebody at Cafe Reggio. And he was getting arrested and he's like, tell them I didn't do anything. Because, like, I see him all the time I didn't see what happened. I didn't say what happened. The one thing that's like, Spiritedary? Yeah,

and he's back in an hour, right? Dude, he came back 30 minutes, he goes, you weren't fucking there for me, man, you were fucking dare for me, man.

I was like, God damn it. See? It was immediately. Why did you stand up for him? That's hilarious. Because I didn't know what happened. I was like,

I don't know, maybe he did fucking punch a woman. I don't know what happened. I was walking to the Westford the other day. I seen a white bitch getting knocked out of front of him. Walking by,

who hit her? Some niggins. This doctor's white bitch that old son. Jesus Christ Was she on the ends too Or was she like a regular person? She was a regular girl

Right? She got some regular She got some regular shit on Like dress older white women Was he regular? He was regular too Oh, walking by

He just in a suit Just fucking knocks out He was like some hood dude He's probably selling We just something All out here Bown I knock bitches out too

I kill people And I'm walking by Like I ain't helping you That is a funny thing Where there's lots of girls out there How good? It was a black girl I'm jumping it easy

There's lots of girls That don't think the guys will hit them And it's always a very That's the place That's the place Where you will get hit by a man Yeah

Yeah Because right now that man is questioning His sexuality So he's gonna Yeah yeah There's crazy Like I'll see some I just don't understand

What you have to say I'm a murderer for After knocking a bitch out You're not tough You're not tough You hit a girl Yeah Yeah

And then she was like drop out She got back up So she wasn't a normal girl then No he's a weak-ass nigga Yo Yo Yo Yeah, that's got to be fucking

There's no confidence after that You gotta fucking hit a girl, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, bro. I mean, anything that happens with a woman If you walk away feeling stronger, you are Pussy. Yeah, bro.

Unless you dick them down. You ain't even a human. Yeah, unless it's a dick down. No, about consent. Because I mean. We don't hate gay people. Jesus, we don't. We don't.

No. But that's it. the shit too where it's like some of that does get tough though because I think like the tough part is like the strangulation charges because like technically the girl's punching you and you put her in a headlock I think that's a reasonable thing to do Does that make sense? Unless you got weapon too.

I don't really put girls to headlocks. Chris Rock said it best He goes never hit a woman but shake the shit out of her. Exactly. That makes sense. But I'm saying like I hold bitches by the shoulders that they ever try to swing on me. That's real but I'm saying if they have smart like I wouldn't say like put them in like some fucking Raymond's studio choke. Yeah but if you have an honor.

Wouldn't it be great to live in a world where we didn't have to get physically violent with each other. Yeah, that would be great. I don't think that's it. It's not going to happen, you know. Probably not. And all of us, I feel like... You want world peace?

Yeah, I do. I do. I really do. In my heart of hearts, I'm saying that early. No, you can still make fun of things. Yeah, we make fun of all kinds of shit, still. Yeah, but that's like part of the issue. I think we're almost like, I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. What would be if there was no race problems? I'll make fun of Asians more. Yeah, but that's just us because we look at the bigger picture. But majority of comedy is race. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because it's also, it's what's going on right now. You can't have that shit happen and then just be like, I don't see anything.

Exactly. I don't, bro, I didn't think racism was real until two years ago, and I was like, oh, shit, this shit is. You're old in us, though. Yeah. That's the hard place. I know a racist person in New York, I think that's so funny because this is the worst place to be racist because everywhere you go, you're like, Ah, wow. Diversity, diverse.

Matt Pavage They're everywhere Matt Pavage had a great joke about that He's like I grew up in Queens It was the most diverse place So me and my friends thought We were not racist Yeah

But they were You know what I mean And my crew growing up We had Jews, Puerto Riggans, blacks And we said the foulest shit To each other But we were cool with each other Yeah

But it's bad No of course But funny Yeah of course Of course The batch is always fun Yeah It's always fun

To be say bad shit I grew up with Puerto Ricans Dominican and blacks That's it Yeah But I think it's also like one of those things where it's like, I think you could say dumb shit and be less racist than somebody who doesn't say the wrong things, but it's super racist. I just think it's weird that there's in their actions. He's not getting hired.

It was like, of course, I think it's weird that as black people, we have found a way that we can never be racist. We're definitely racist. It's such a great loophole. You can't be racist against white people now. Is that like a thing? Like, we can't be racist towards white people. We can kind of be racist towards Asians because they have that beef against us. Yeah.

That's not looking good for you. That's the only problem. Every time to turn on the news is a black dude beating the shit out of age. And they're falling, bro. But it's always a light skin dude. It's always a light dude. All the karate movies they did. Because we fall in easy, son.

Stereotype. I love it with someone. One plus you think is falling in right. I'm going to joke about this. You know, there's a Chinese word that is the, it's the word. It means like, I'm not going to say it is the end word, basically. But it means like yes or something like that. Yeah.

And I thought, what if that's how this all started? Niga. Yeah, some Chinese guys were just saying that. And it was just a misunderstanding. Japanese work. Here's the one thing I'll take this over like, you can't be racist in New York, but you can. But usually those racing people are the smart.

Who say you can't be racist in New York? Like, well, he's trying to say, like, it doesn't make sense. But when you are racing in New York, it makes sense. I saw this one lady. I was in a fucking food spot, fucking Chinese food spot. And she was having this beef with this Asian lady. She was like, oh, fuck you bitch.

You don't fucking listen to me, blah, blah, blah. And like, you know, when people are mad, they still say shit underneath their breath. So she's like, yeah, that's why you guys get fucked up in the train station. And it's something about being accurate. And like timely. That was like perfect.

That was like, oh, this bitch is smart. You have to be a smart racism when you're in New York. Is that a thing where you're like, you're only races in big cities? No, no, like, you're going to be a better racist than the big city. Of course. Yeah, you have to be a better racist. I don't know. You can't just be like, yeah, yeah, they're fucking, I don't.

Yeah, you probably think that Chinese people are ninjas. Like in your mind, that's far off that you have to like think of it. Oh, we're due rags. I know it. Yeah. What is the fuck? Yo, that shit was so perfect. Like, so if you're going to be racist in New York,

you just have to be smart about, like, that random Puerto Rican. It is, it is, it is like move if you're racist. Like, I, I, it's like somebody who's in a shitty relationship. It's like, if you don't like this, then why are you, like, you're surrounded about all the races. It's like, if you hate, like, go be racist and like, you know, bum fuck Tennessee or Georgia. It's like people.

It's not from New York that talks to you about New York. There's been really tough Chinese gangs in Chinatown. Yeah, I remember. That would protect the area. I, I don't know if they're still around or not, but they didn't play. Like dragons, right? The flying dragons. Flag and dragon.

They didn't play no shit. The flying dragons? Yeah. It sounds funny. It's a move of Street Fighter, but it's very effective. Bro. The motherfuckers was no joke. No, I'm sure.

Yeah, yeah. Fly a dragon. Yeah. Flying dragons. I'm not, okay, I'm just going to sound racist. It's the flying dragons. Did they have, like, throwing stars and shit? Like, was that poem?

No. There was no way for me. Ask that without sounding bad. They would just beat the shit out of here and shoot you. Yeah. That's just lying bullets. They used to be. No, it's a plane.

I was watching. I was watching a video. I think it was China Mac. China Mac used to live around there. So he was talking about it. He was just like, yeah, we'd be active right next to the fucking police station because it's the whole police station right on a fucking that fucking life. No, fucking the-town.

Chinatown. But did you know that big-eyes Lane? Yeah, on Grand Street. Grand. Yeah. Like around Grand. But there's a whole- Before you go Elliot and Bowery, right?

Yeah, so he was like, yo, you guys be, like, they'll be active right at, like, right next to police station. So. Yeah, they're playing off shit there. Well, Trian Mac is a well-known murderer. Yeah, Canal Street. Canal Street, that's where you see be active.

Oh, that makes perfect sense. He shot a man. Yeah. He shot a... He did 10 years. Yeah, he shot, uh... What's his, the rapper? He's one of my favorite.

Jinn's bodyguard, yeah. Trimack's dope as fuck. Well, now he's, like, so peaceful and shit. I mean, you mean he's zen? I guess so. I mean? Bro, he lived a rough one. He was in the streets and he did a dime.

I mean, you know what I mean? So at some point. So, you know, they say? That's got to be hard going to jail as a Chinese guy. I feel there's not a lot of Asians there, right? I think that guy probably earned his respect very quickly. I think you come in at the murderer, they know. I mean, the thing, too is that.

And he got a buck fifty-two? When you hear that guy talk, you're like, this guy doesn't play. Yeah. I would never. So he don't look at someone in the smile or that. You don't just like. You don't see time back smiling around. No.

That's one of the niggas, you're just like, hey, what's up, bro. Hey, we know people that's like knowing him. Like, Brian. I remember I was watching him on a podcast one time and somebody says, yeah, I would smack you if you did that. And he was like, he had to catch himself. Yeah, he was like. He had to spiritually catch himself like, what you said, nigga? Yeah, exactly.

You still can't say that. You still can't say that people. You would slap me? That's, he used to be chigger. Yeah, he was like, because no, ain't nobody slapping me. He was so earnest when he said it, you know what I mean? I'm like, I believe him, yo. That's why I love it when people, like, there's certain people that would be saying,

I'll definitely fuck you up. And then everybody gets quiet. You're like, like, me, yo. It was one nigga that comic said something funny. He was like, yo, if I was a couple of years, I'd beat the shit. I was like, me? You just got, like, pardon? You have to assess that they actually said that stupid shit in front of you.

Yeah, that's something you can say it to their laugh for. I'm not laughing. I'm like, let's get it right now. Let me see if you do it. Yeah, it's just like, what are you talking about? That's all right. That thing you don't get in Florida much. So I've seen, what, a redneck game?

But I've never seen. like an Asian from the streets. I love rednecks, bro. In New York, in New York you see all the time. Rednecks, the niggas is a Soba Lake. My favorite is, there's this Asian guy. He worked in a what's it called? Like a stir fry place. And he's like, yeah, how we doing, folks?

You're having a good time? And it was just the most craziest thing to see. Like, oh, this is an Asian redneck. Right, right. But I've never seen, like, until in New York, like Asians, like, who live on the streets and stuff. There was a wrestler back in the day called up. They still really live on the street, though. We know they know. Jimmy Wang Yang. Oh, I know that thing. Yeah, he's a cowboy. He would do a cowboy hat and shit. He would do like a flying moon salt.

Jimmy, he'd come out to country music. He didn't speak any English either, right? Nope. I think he said a little bit. I like anomalies like that. It's always interesting with somebody's not what you expect them to be.

And you're like, oh, that's interesting. You're not just like the same guy. I see all the time. You know, it's wild, though? The other day I was walking up to the shop to hit the mic. I was on, what's the one right before Sullivan? Thompson, is that what it is?

I was walking up Thompson, and then I had my headphones in. And this is like a couple days after that dude tried to get me on Bedford. So you're shaking up. No, no, I was walking up. I was walking. I was like back on my, I had my headphones in.

It's beautiful. You know what I mean? And somebody grabbed me. I turned around and I fucking like, and he was like, it was my buddy Soltan who I had not spoken to in years because we had a falling out. But we're both formally incarcerated. And we used to work together. He was like, yeah, man, you didn't even put your hands up.

He's like, you don't know what the fuck was going on. I was like, I was like, shit, man, you're right. I was like, I was just walking around happy go lucky. I'm trying to like, he's like, yeah. I was like, I'm trying to live life. love life and he's like, you know what, that's how it should be. Exactly. That's a better way of living life.

But I also don't want to get caught slipping. Exactly. You know what I mean, right? It's a weird spot to be in. You don't want to be always tense and angry. Exactly. Or on car. Exactly.

It's tiring. As a New York, we had this thing. We're like, we can't leave the house with flip-flops on. No, I never left the house with all. All you guys are from New York. Yeah. I mean, if you got to get in a fight and if I go into somebody's house, like, yeah, shoes off.

I'm like, that was a crazy. Because if you're in your socks and you've got to fight, someone could slide you around. It depends on how big the house is, too. But also, it's all that stuff. I do think you have to be slightly on because my dad, he'll be dead in a week if he lived here. Like, he'll visit New York and just walk into track. No, no, he just has no idea. He's so, he's so Florida mindset that he's just like, we'd be wearing a Hawaiian shirt just like walking.

Like, what are we doing over here? Like, you have to have that. I get what you're saying. You have to have that sense of, like, awareness. Yeah. Like, I don't even, like, have my back towards. Because I saw on somebody Instagram the day about, like, they had, like, a culture shot when They saw the kids going to school, and they were like, man, like, yeah, we see so much shit as a kid going to school.

Oh, yeah, very much. That train ride, you see the whole life. They guys got their dicks out. You see the whole thing. You see the whole thing. You got the Biscuit, man, her husband. Someone smoking weed right in the car. You're going to the second grade.

Yeah, yeah. That's why I hate. With all that issues, awful of a sandwich. Yeah. I do hate, like, I'm not a tough guy, but some of the people that moved to New York are ginormous Pussies and it kind of bugs me. Oh, very much. It's like, whenever I go do fucking shows in Greenwich Village, I see so, like, I'll be out of

girlfriend out of the bar and I'm like half the dudes here I'm not a tough guy but I could fight half that's sad you go like even in Florida I go to a bar and I'm like oh dude I couldn't beat anybody there's a bunch of fat yoked rednecks but like here like people from New York are tough just the amount of like yes dude who's like fucking like

there's a certain look to it too like 100 pounds wet yeah and then there's like also that fucking like I don't know how to describe it but like they have that like hipstery look and it's like showing I don't know why it infuriate and I get those are the people I'm like because they talk the biggest shit too Exactly. They'd be like, excuse me.

I'm like, yo, who the fuck you're like, that's what the... I just can't say pretentiousness. Like, this fucking... Oh, I hate pretentiousness. That shit is... And all the people that move to New York. Like, you don't know who the... Like, you're in New York right now. This shit is not all fucking shit's in givocke's in gregul.

It's in Bushwick when they start moving in, you rob them and they'd be pretentious. They'd be like, you piece of shit and my dad will get me a new one tomorrow. I'd be like, oh, word off me right back here tomorrow. People think Bushwick is sweet. Go down the street the other way. Yeah. Yeah. That's about the water.

That's nothing about the Wild. That's what that college kid got killed in the head at. Right down the street. Yeah. And in Harlem, that one time that girl, Mount, uh, fucking... Well, that's Harlem, though. You know Harlem Wild. People think Bushwick is like, oh...

So people think... All dog Martens and weird art bitches. Nah, that get crazy. Of course. You just have to find the right age. Yeah, that dude got shot, and he even owned the place. He was, like, visiting... That's hard, too.

From Harvard. That's hilarious. They got popped in the head. There's that fucking hit... I don't know why it bugs. Like, there's a certain attitude, like, it's like, I'll have it selling tickets where this guy the other day, he's like, comedy show, he's like, excuse me, sir, are you aware

that the comedy seller is also on this block? I'm like, no, I'm not a fucking re-the. Yes, I know. What an idiot. What a fucking idiot. But he knew that. He just wanted to be like a pretend. There's that certain.

You got to come back with something quick, though. That's what you were like, did you know, you just suck my dick? I didn't just pick them up and choke slam. Yeah. Like, at a certain point you want to do those things. I wish I could be untaker any time of day, bro. You know, you know you could have just said no.

Yeah. And it taints my view of New York. I said like I just left for comedy club. Well, that's not a New Yorker. No, I know. But that's my thing. It's like, I'm from Florida. But then, like, I think I've only noticed it in the last, like, couple years that I've seen those people.

And it's like, it's great. Because, like, I'm not from here, so I can't be like, fucking. You're also from a crazy-ass place, too. Yeah, Florida is also crazy. Yeah, they compare it to us. But it's also, like, there's a different thing also, like, rich people from Florida are lovable. Because it's like, listen, I'm not, my parents weren't loaded, but I was, like, doing well. Yeah, I like, a little DeVal too.

A fucking, a rich guy in Florida is like wearing boat shoes. He's drunk as shit. Those are the nicest guys. Those are the cool white dudes. You'd be like, you'd be like, that makes you forget about racing for a little bit. You're like, I could really be this. Redneck and Cogles Bros is always the white dudes I got along with. Yeah.

But then they hate the same white kids I hate. Yeah. That makes you think that racism is real for a little bit. Yeah. You know, racism is mainly. I've never had avert racism. It's put, it's with economics as well. I never had a white dude call me nigg.

Well, man, they mean neither. That's a word racist. He calls you niggins Spanish. Nigr-uh. Niggas. Niggas. Negro. But that's my thing, too, though, is because, like, I grew up in high school where everybody's, everybody said that word.

Yeah. But there was, like, I think that there's people. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. That's your clip. Everybody.

But I think that might be less racist than somebody who might not say the wrong things, but then has all these opinions. They're like, like, somebody who may be like, I don't use foul language, but I'm like, you can be just as, racist? Right. What's the coolest way you said, Nicky? I don't think it was cool. None of it was fucking cool. We got you. At three, I won't 13.

You can't. Everything would get cut out. What do you think is the funniest, like, racist slur? Spoons for Italians. Oh, that is funny. Webbacks? You like that one? I like manning's, too, for white people.

Because there's none other good for cracker. Oh, I learned one from Denmark. It was like, it's if you're like, like Pakistani and some other shit. It's a Paca. Paca. Really? Yeah.

It's like their N-word. It's like Paca. That's a weird thing. It's P-R. Oh, dude. It's B-R-K-E-R. It's not the N-WR. It's like, like, I heard the-Graiserie.

What's up? Nick is the grade of wherever made. It's like half my vocabulary. I would hate not to be black, bro. You can't say niggas. I remember told my dad. I realize me that J-Rul's song. I'm glad I'm black, man.

I wouldn't want to be white. Why was you want, white is sucks. You can't go out in the sun. Damn. I get skin cancer in the sun, bro. That sucks. Yeah, it's hard. The white man is a savage. I remember having to explain to my dad. It must suck to be a white man because you don't know what it's like to be black. Exactly. I had to have a woodtime. I was at a, there's just, I used to do this comedy show where it was all poetry.

And the poetry was intense. It was about racist. New Yuriken cafe? No, no, this is in Florida somewhere. I've done those. And they were like, oh, and you can do comedy at the end of it if you want because technically Always up to end because they know what we're going to say. Yeah. But this was hard because it was all about like black people being shot by white people, all the stuff. And then I would get on stage like a month in the comedy.

I'm like, hey, guys, how's it going? It would be the hardest thing. But I one time had to- You better, though. 100%. I'd be like, I didn't shoot them. I was involved. One time we did a mic at Souramouse.

This was like a rap, rap, poetry, everything comedy. The rapper goes up. does this shit, and then Joe goes after and he did a, he did like a song about like real black shit, like, wave and a water type rap. Where Joe. Joe Zimmer goes up after him like,

man, that song sucks. Yeah, I felt the slaves. That shit was hilarious. The bitch wanted to fight him and everything. But I had to go after this world with time, and he's like, he's like the enemy, the white man, their brain is much smaller than ours. I'm just sitting there like, you got proof of that?

Yeah, yeah, that was like, I'm not, I don't know. I just didn't comment on it because I was right afterwards But it was one of the things where like now as a comic I would probably say something funny afterwards But like it was I remember going after that and I was like Evil corrupt pork choppy and brain Yeah that's hilarious soon heads will roll and the streets will run red with the blood of white I found some of there I remember having to explain to my dad I'm like yo niggas not gonna leave my vocabulary Ever just had it just be like yo I'm like in New York everybody like some older black who that thing

niggas wrong not like my dad didn't understand why I said it so much I just had like yo like I just have to say it. I get it. Where's you get it from? He's from Honduras, but he lives in Florida. He lives in Florida. Okay. That would make sense why that was less of a thing over there.

It's like me saying my guy. Yeah, basic. Yeah. I found some other racial slurs. Gringo. Gringo is pretty cool. Get that one. Yank?

What the fuck is yank? That's all. I'm a yank. Yeah. We look at North. All Americans. Here, Michael's not a yank. Yeah.

I'm a hick. I'm a hick. Dirty Jew, Russian pig. He's herty. Dirty Jew. These are just mean I had an exchange student And we asked him what racial slurs were from Spain

Yes And everything was of MIRDA Which means of shit Yeah What do you would use racial slur for Chinese Who goes Chino de Mirta Yeah We're like what about people from

I don't know Shitty Chinese India de Mirta Yeah You guys are so uncreated shitty Indian Jesus It really not that mean

Boring Your curry sucks That was a hilarious Nakhil is my favorite Indian He's probably top five Indians Oh, he's hilarious. I love him. I love him.

Even though he looks ill, he looks severely ill. Yeah. Because his nose. That is Paul. Look where he's from, man. He's from Cleveland. Is he from Cleveland? Yeah.

Yeah, he is. He's a bone thug. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I didn't know he's from Cleveland. He's from Cleveland. Bow wow. Bow wow. Shout out of Bow Wow.

Little Bow wow? Yeah, from Cleveland. He's from Cleveland, too. Yeah. I was listening that one song, Fresh as I is? Oh, well. Fresh as I is? Fresh as I is, I think.

Yeah. Long time ago. He would be red. Whatever it happened to a little bow wow. He became bad wall. He just became bow wow. He became Shad Maws and it sucks.

Yep. Now no one likes him. He did that one, Camille, and Fast and Fears Night. Oh my God. He was also in a Max Keeble's big move.

Did you see that one? I let that move. That was funny. He was so fire, bro. I know somebody that did the same shit as him. I know some guy who was at my high school and he's like, fuck you guys.

I'm going to a different fucking high school. My parents are moving. You guys are fucking losers. All of you like in a Facebook page. And then his parents are like, moving. Then he had to stay there. That's like the whole movie, right?

Doesn't he like dance on tables and like fights his bully? I have the most embarrassing thing that's close to that. I remember I was... That's the one where I made the buy? Yeah, yeah. I fucking... I got this girl's Instagram and I was just like,

yo, I want to show my friend like, yo, this girl's bad as fuck, blah, blah, blah. And I started screenshot and like the pictures of her because the shit was private. And I was like, I started to send it to him. And then like I left it because I was on the train. I was like, all whatever. And like once the train gets out of the fucking like

underground, it's above ground, I get a message saying, oh wow. from the girl. I'm like, what? And I sent her the screenshots of her fucking account to her. And I just look at it and I go audibly on the train go, fucking idiot. And everybody's like, I'm just like, I'm like, I just go, I want to kill

myself. And then I message her back. I'm like, I try to show my friend, there's beautiful things. I'll be honest. She's just like, okay. She's just like, is anybody you guys in a rush? No, I'm good. All right, sweet, yeah, I'm chill too. Yeah. Yeah, that's bad. That shit was so bad. Because now I can't, like, I still want to try to talk to her, but I can't even go back

It's like, send those pictures. It was her pictures, and she was a stripper. The good ones or the bad ones? Oh, good ones. But it's like, she's also a stripper, too. So it's just like... She should also be expecting that, though. I know, but the thing is like...

Yeah, but the thing is like... Yeah. Exactly. Like, I'm just like, fuck. You were like a bozo. I look like a fucking bozo. And they sent it to you? I mean, we all...

And the thing is she fucking liked me in person. I've had way worse. My mom got my fucking dick pics through the eye cloud. No. I mean, that's 100% true story. I think that's way worse. You happen to you? I just, I've seen a movie about it.

Oh, what movie is that? He made a movie about the couple of men of sex tape, and then he went to the eye cloud, and they had the good guy. Yeah, oh, it's called Tommy and Pam. Yeah. No. That's the old, Rickal. No, my mom.

You see the show of Hulu? Yeah, yeah. No, I've been watching it. It's like Jason Siegel and Cameron Diaz. Yeah, yeah. Camer Diaz. I love Cameron Diaz. Cupid, bitch.

Yeah, my mom, yeah, she got Foley my dickpicks, and the messages they were horrible. They were like, I'm going to shove my tongue in your ass. What was her reaction? Like, what was her reaction? I don't know why I found you, but I was like that. How old are you? I was 25.

So, this is where I was like 19. When you were in high school, was eating ass a big thing? This is what happened. My buddy ate ass and he was like, you know, I ate ass. Everybody's making fun of him. And I was like, dude, I want to fucking eat in that. I made fun of him. And I was like, I was like, dude, how do you?

Girls are cool? You could do that? He's like, yeah, dude. White boy high school. Yeah. And I was like, because in my mind, I was like. Yeah. But he gave me the courage to do that then.

I was like, I'll fucking do it, not telling anybody. I didn't know. was a thing in your eyes. Oh, no. No. No. Yeah. But I do remember girls getting caught on the cameras and shit.

Yeah. We were like, where that bitch at? Yeah. But I got the point. She's like a dick. It flop very fast because within one year, I ate ass and got my ass eaten in the same fucking year. Now, how did you feel getting your ass eaten? What's up?

See, this is, um... Oh, the girl asked. Well, this is, uh... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. She was licking my balls. And I swear to, I swear to guy, I went like this, I go, is there a chance you could... Ah, nah, no. And she goes, give you a rim job?

I go, yeah. She goes, I literally. She goes, I literally. She knows the clinical name. Yeah. She goes, I've always wanted to do this. She's got, I never met a guy here down. Yeah, I feel uncomfortable too.

Yeah, he moved. She gave you a dirty rusted thing. The rusty trauma. Bro, anytime a girl ever, like, lick my balls and start getting lost, I pulled them by the hair up. Like, I tell the story. The whole phobia with all you guys. I don't know. I understand.

I understand. Okay. But I'm just the best thing I ever got I had to tie my sneakers But also Wait to say, I have question, though I have a black dudes who also like gangbanger girl Is that not Well that's only important

It's called the train Yeah And uh... Chiqua, chicka, chicken, choooo-choo-choo. I've been in a few, it happens. And trains are different. Trains are very much different. Because I'm taking the white community

That is gayer than having your ass eaten. Running a train, though, girl? Yeah, because you're like, there's two guys there. Like two dudes on one chick is like, yeah, because we're turning. Don't give me that white guys, shit. I think is running around hit each other nuts. That's a bad.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying we're not gay as fuck. I'm just saying, I'm just saying it's funny. I play football, I think. I'm not saying I wouldn't run a train, but what I'm saying is like, I think it's just funny that different things are considered gay or in different communities.

I will say it's the straightest thing. The eating ass thing is, it's not gay to me. I don't feel like it's gay. It's just, it's interesting. Of course you will. Sooner later. Because in theory, it's disgusting. Absolutely.

What, eat ass? Yeah. Yeah. But in theory, that's what makes. Yeah, but in theory, that's what makes awesome. Because you're like, oh, this is disgusting. If you don't come out with a cold, you're like, I'm a fucking immortal. Are you doing that? Because you got that over her?

Like, you can't talk shit about me. I did this. No, for me, it was just like, that's an excited. It's like, it's dirty. That's what makes it better. You did it in high school? Yeah, yeah. That's wild. You see, the thing is... I remember high school. I was, I was, a bisexual girl confused me once. Exactly. I didn't know what that was. I was with this girl in the hallway, and this girl was like, I want to fuck you and her. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. She weird, bro.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, she fucked up. Yeah, and she was a bad light skin joint. The Lice girl had had short haircuts but had a mad body. Yeah, I know what you mean. My ass eating got popular when Jene Eiko dropped that song. You gotta eat the booty like groceries. That's when it really went up. It took one.

It was like one year. Yeah, it was like one year and then it became big because Marybys like eat ass. And it was like cool. They finally got a cool name. Yeah. And then somebody didn't eat ass and be like, what are you fucking pussy?

Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot of 90s though. There was this girl comic the other day that she was talking about how, in high school she would eat her boyfriend's ass every day. Like, you know, all right.

That thing it has to be good. Listen, listen. Every day. At lunch, there's a note in it. She was like, and it was perfect. She was like, and he had Jim 8th period, and then he would shower. And she's like, and then I would go run and meet him.

What is he? His ass and then go to track practice. She black? Oh, my God. I know she's white. She was at the worst breath in high school. I was just out of time. You're like, a lot of five gum.

Everybody thought she had holotosis. A lot of my lord. You know what I mean? It just was a lot. It's a lot. Like every day? Every day. That's on a week day.

That nigga has to be gay, though. Like, every day is wild. See, that's the thing is like every day. He used to it, though. I think I don't think gay dudes banging the ass because they're gay. I think it's the only option. I don't think that sounds so tough. Banging the ass?

That's a wild. That's just how mad, cool. That's wild. You're banging the ass? That's wild. I mean, that's what, but my thing is like, that's a wild. I mean, I think it's a tough thing to do.

But my whole thing. saying it's like I don't think gay dudes do stuff in the butt because they're gay I think they do the stuff in the butt because that's the only option like I don't if gay dudes have a vagina they'd fuck that I used to think that they just rub penises together yeah yeah is it called like a ball game or something? Yeah right on fire

so there's an old legend about Rikers Island or the New York State well that's like a campfire story all right yeah so there was there was this one gloomy night no there was this this gay inmate name

his name was Mother Deer. That was his street name. Hell of a name. That was a street name. And he would fight you and beat you into a submission to the point where you would fuck him in the ass. What?

Interesting. That's a hell of a turn. He was a bottom. And that's how. He would beat you up. He would beat you up and make you fuck him. That's the best case scenario. To be fair, that is the best case.

I don't even know how I could get hard after, like, in my ass beats. That's the legend of Mother Deer. That's crazy. I don't think you got to beat someone up for that. And, and, like, a choice. Like, one guy. I was able to go like five minutes with him in a fight before he succumbed. Circumns.

Circum to succumb to mother dear. That also takes a crazy amount of current, like, the strength to get somebody to fuck you in the, because it's like fucking somebody. And now you're being vulnerable. You're giving them your back. So what was the punch that led to me getting, like him getting fucked? You're just like, all right, man, enough.

You ever had that one? It's that one punch you got connected to the jaw. You're like, I'll fuck you. I'll fuck you. Isn't that why? Well, a lot of it is, some people. say it's true. There's a, you know, I know

my older friends who've been locked, no, it's, it's, it was a yeah, I know she, she was a he, mother, mother dear. What, which, you got to call mother nature. Well, I heard so this is where the, I heard that he had a brother named Mother Nature that was also. That's crazy. Yeah, but. That seems to happen a lot. But, you know, you know, the movie Medea? Yeah, yeah. That's short for Mother Deer. Madea. Okay. Really? Yeah. That's. So Talapare's mother dear. I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to connect the dots

He's a billionaire Yeah Tyler Perry is rich as a motherfucker He's a billionaire Has he ever done stand-up? No So he's not a comedian I don't think so, no

I don't think he says it He's not a standard comedian He's more theater He's more theater Heller Yeah That's crazy Have you seen a new Tyler Perry movie?

What's that? He's seen a new Tyler Perry movie? Nah It's the most niggerish shit on Earth I've never seen any of them I've seen The new one Is the new one is the most niggery

Am I racist? Which one is it? Tyler Perry's a homecoming. I'm saying, I said I watched all that. I've seen a couple of them. What is, like, the plot? It's a Tyler Perry movie. It's all the same plot.

Okay, so, it's just, like, it's the most niggerish story. Either the license guy's good or bad. Medea, it's the, the, the, the mother's in pain somehow. We, we having a contest in the group, like, who can make it to the longest of the movie? Miles me and 30 minutes. I watched the whole thing. Who's it for? You watched the whole thing?

But I was asleep to most of it. I'm gonna say. I made it 20 minutes, bro. Does it anger you that white people think black people like Tyler? Or they, I don't think. Like, we like him. Black aunties like. Oh, is he like this?

Is he like the Adam Sandler where you're like, he did a lot of good shit? There's some good shit. In the beginning, there was a lot of good shit. What, the fire? No, fucking Tyler Perry. He had a good, early career. Early career, good shit. You never seen anything like that.

But then it's just started getting more emphasized. It was just like, oh shit. It's like he's a superhero at some points. So he's like Adam Sandler where he just cranks out a ton of movies. Yeah. Some of them are great. But they're good, they're better. Yeah, Tali Perry doesn't come back with like a hit here.

He'll come up with some dark shit. He'll like some dark shit. Like he had this one where, I think you got him confused with Jordan Peel. Right. I think he made for color of those too. Me? I got him confused?

No. I just, I just bombed the Joker. Yeah. It happens. But Tull Perry has like he, he doesn't like Jordan Peel that much. He'll make some dark movies about like life and you'll be like, all right, like those are the ones that people like.

Right, right. Yeah, you like Jordan Peel? Jordan Peel? He's cool. I fuck with him. feel about a black man talking about black shit but has a white wife. Man, I can't talk.

Who is wife? Who is his wife again? She's annoying as shit. In the way way. Chelsea, Chelsea. Oh, Chelsea Peretti. Yeah, exactly. She's the kind of person that gets on

and it's like, people weren't doing COVID safe. It's the same way how we feel about about Gambino. On Twitter, she was the worst. You feel about Gambino the same way too? You talk about the black shit. Who? Who's he?

Who's he? He's a white bitch. He's a white wife. Who's that? Tiles Gambino. But Gabriel's never been, like, the pro-black guy. I mean, you know, he's been the... I'm really gonna need you guys to say what I'm thinking right now.

All right, I got you. All right, you can whisper in my ear, and I'll say what you. You know, you know what I'm talking about. Knickers. No. Crackus. No, no, not, not. But, you know, if you look at Jordan Peel, you look at Childish Campino.

That's what you're not that black. That's what you're not that black guy. He knows who's never been the pro-black guy. But also, you can't say that about, like, Football players have white wives. You can't be like they're not that white. He also got CTE, my nigga. White women, white women.

That was a choice, I will say this. There's something comforting about O.J. Simpson. I don't know, I watch his videos. I want to hang out with him. He looks like he'd be cool as shit. He was definitely. He was great in the naked gun too. It's so funny.

Very funny. I look at O.J. Same way, like, at Mike Tyson. They're cool? Until you piss them all. Yeah. Mike Tyson is still the scariest thing I ever see. I don't want to be in my O.J.

after like a couple tequila shots. Yeah, because like, but like, If he drinks to kill, that's a problem. If he starts putting on a glove while talking to you, just leave that. But I see him like, like, he's wearing like a- Hawaiian shirt, like, doll thing. I was like, I would like to smoke cigars with him and like sit. Of course.

But then you think, you're right? Pick that brain. I'm not staying at a resort with him like on an island. No, going back home. Do you see Mike Tyson, bro? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks still scary, yeah, yeah. A medical, Mike.

I see when he starts to get emotional. Yo, what? And he's like. You know, he was like, I, man, when every one, he was like, I, I need to kill people I wanted to kill people. Yeah, he's terrified. The one that... Go ahead.

I just didn't want to forget about Charles Gimby. The one thing I liked is you assumed he'd be kind of like a pussy when it comes to cancel culture, or stuff, but he's actually very against that.

I mean, if you watched his early stand-up, he was trying that. He was crazy, yeah. But that's what... I respect him a lot. He had a whole style language bit about a little nigger.

Yeah. Yeah, a little nigger. And I was just like, oh my... Where's he from? Atlanta? Chicago. Atlanta, I think,

Chicago. I do respect Jordan Peele, but I feel like I haven't seen anything from him. He's basically the Tyler Perry of like black horror movie now. Right. Because he's writing from a perspective that a nigga would never be in. What do you mean?

A nigga would never be around. A fucking UFO. White woman in the woods? I'm not going, bro. Yeah. I'm not going to be starting. The new one's like an alien abduction thing. He's like, get the fuck out of you, bro.

I'm not going to fire. Also, fucking. The best thing he's ever done is the sketch. Us was a foul, a black family going to like a old lick, like a lake town or some shit. That's it. No. No. Also, if you see another place like yourself.

Black people don't do that. Black people don't go to Lake Towns. Yeah. Right? I've never been fishing. Yeah. I've been fishing before. They go to Orchard Beach.

Exactly. Jones. See, Island, baby. Jones Beach is fun. I've been there before, yeah. But that's all, yeah, I think his new ones, like, a black family gets, like, abducted and then, like. So, but the aliens are like, yo, bring them back down. And the thing is, you guys, don't go near my ass.

Why do they keep asking for a blood? They keep asking, where are we that? Get the fuck out of it. But I love it because he always makes it pro-black in the beginning. So, like, for this new trailer, just like, oh, my family's been helping the film industry from the jump, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, it's pro-black, and then it's just like aliens, niggas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's crazy how that dude went from mad TV to that. Yeah. I feel like... I think Key & Peele is on par with Shepel show. Of course, bro. It's very funny. I don't have the emotional connection to Key and Peel that I did to Chappelle. Of course.

Really? But the thing is the era? They cut their own lane, though. No, because... Their guess who was just as good as his, yeah, they were fucking really funny. I just wasn't there. I was on drugs, very bad.

With Chappelle, right? No, with Key and Peele. I mean, to think about Chappelle, I just still had, like, my mind was still, like, my mind is good now, but... I'd say Key & Peele was darker than Chappelle. I was on drugs to a point where, like,

my mind was not intact and Kian Piel was on. But Chappelle, I was... I have a question about that. So... You also can go back on YouTube and what, so? Was it from Coke or? Because hair,

Heroin seems like it wouldn't mess with your brain, would it? I mean, dude, if you get good heroin, yeah. He's like, you have to have the bad heroin, Mike, yeah. Not all of the- But I'm saying, yeah, this is no connection to anything. I mean, personally with Chappelle and Keppel and Pee and Pee and Pee and Pee and King and Pee and Pee and Pee and the Chappelle show. I don't know.

Most of these Shepel show is about blacksie. King and Pell talks about everything. I mean. Because they have to. Yeah. I know, right? And they had white wives. Chappelle was this different.

The thing about Chappelle, which is. A lot of people's first. A lot of people's first like interaction or seeing Chappelle was the Chappelle show. Yeah, I remember Chappelle from his first this first set on Deaf comedy jam

when he's like, hey, I just moved to New York, man, I just moved to New York, it's fine. With the long sleeve shirt. He's like, yo, I was in the West Village I was like, ha ha ha, a gay guy. Look, another gay guy. Ha, ha, look, they kiss him. What the fuck?

Like that. And then seeing his next set. And then he got JFL. And then he had to have. Half hour on HBO. He just watched him grow. And then you see... Cappell was the Tosol.

Kempel of Milosophily was before... Sposio was like the latest thing he did, right? It was like 0-3? Yeah, yeah. 0-3? Yeah, I think he's 0-5. And then he had... After the...

He had live at the Fillmore in San Francisco. Yeah. Which was great... And then he was going with the moustache. Yeah. And they went gone. Yeah, he took off. And then he came back.

You listened to him, though, and you get it, man. He said he was sitting in there with the, um... The executives and, uh... And, uh... And what the hell did they say to him? They were like, oh, we need you to, it was about the audience, right?

They wanted him to like still Bride in his audience. Yeah, yeah. What day did he tell you? He's like one day to camera. But they don't realize that you could do the Tyler Perry and stick to the one audience and you become a bit in there.

You know what's crazy? I'm just happy to see him back at where he is right now. Where he deserves to be. He's happy doing this show. Where he deserves to be at the fucking top. Well, that is the most annoying thing is because, like, when I was a kid, I was always like, man, it'd be so cool to work on Comedy Central.

And then, not that I have the fucking. a talent, but you watch it, you're like, oh, you hear all these stories, and you're like, that sounds horrible. Like, that whole argument that it's like you have to build an audience for everybody. It's like, do what you do. And, like, people will jump outside their lane if it's good. Like, you know what I mean? You'll be like, oh, I'm not going to lie to me.

How great is it? I'm not going to lie. I'm from the hood. I was raised by hood people. And most people will come to my show is hood and it's always helped me out. Niggas will pay to see niggas will succeed. Yeah, that's true. White people don't pay all the time.

Niggas will pay. Bro, my favorite show in the scene. Yeah, we're always trying to get it. My favorite show on the scene is a Sunday night show at fucking old man hustle, the 1030 show. Black is fuck. It's my favorite show. Always fine. Because.

And the second one is ours. Revenge of 20 minutes late. 7 p.m. It usually does. Comedy hard. What did you say? It's a brownish. It usually does.

Every comedy show does. Right. They don't get that. You know, but do deaf comedy jam. I mean, were you young. I see a little bit. We seen it. I seen it, but I wasn't.

fucking always comprehended. My uncle kept on quoting Shucky Ducky a lot. Bro, you... Quack, quack, any... Anybody who's a comedian right now, I have a lot of conversations with comedians who are

younger than me in life. And the fact they just don't know their history. Like, and I feel like you should become a historian. I listen to a hundred percent of no fucking reason. That nigga's not funny to me, but I listen to Lenny Bruce.

O-O-G. Derek, about to talk. He about to tell you that young nicks is why you need to know your research. But I agree that he's Tokyo shit. Tokyo blessings. There's a lot of people don't even know

we're fucking hilarious. Like Steve Harvey when he did stand-up was so fucking funny. No, hard as to do music with stand-up. What's up? Yeah,

hardly to do music and stand-up at the same time. It's fucking ridiculously hard. He did that, bro. Even Demetri Martin, like he's, I still watch him sometimes. I'm not a super big fan, but that shit is fucking.

Steve Harvey, isn't funny. He was hilarious. Still tripping dog, bro. Dude, he has his bit about going to Afghanistan. Yeah, I was shoot the baby. Yeah.

He was like, Oh, no. No, Steve done shot the baby. Or the bit about how Africa's red, not normal black. It's like, oh, America black. In Africa is nigger black. I was walking. I couldn't see.

Shit. I'm surprised nobody's tried to cancel him. Yeah, yeah. Because he owes everything he does. That's a fact. It's annoying because now he's not doing stand-up because of all of his shows, which is so fucking annoying. Yeah, he's on like 85 shows.

And you're like, dude, you could be like. But I don't think he would make sense of his error. Nah, he's good enough to figure it out. He's good. Cat is still killing it, man. Cat is a different, different breed. Cat Williams. I think Cat Williams is someone

that never reached their full potential. Really? He had it and lost it. He's like DMX with it. No, so he had it. He didn't have a crackler off, is that part of it? He never reached a full... He never achieved his full potential, but he was

as full potential. The cat William still sells out. Yeah, of course. Can I tell you one of my favorite Cat Williams jokes? That's my favorite comedian. I know it. He was in school, and the teacher wrote Knife on the board.

She goes, when anybody liked this... Oh, she didn't write it. down the board. She goes, does anybody know how, she had a picture of a knife. Does anybody want to spell knife? Cut knife. Yeah, cat comes up. He goes, knife. N-I-F-E. And she goes, no, cat. There's a K-N-I-F-E. He goes, what? He goes, bitch, that don't make no sense. Can-knife. He goes, I got so mad, I hit that bitch with a c' spoon.

This is like a simple joke with the show you through the wavelength. Oh, yeah. Well, it's timing and fucking, yeah. And he had crowd control. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite community. He's like, rappers talk about getting shot. He's like, I got shot,

ain't no bitches come out and ain't no doves start flying. He's like, I'm sick. And he was like, he was like, that's why you need some gangster fans. Yeah. You ain't gonna just kill me

and show up to the hospital flying. They're gonna be a bitch and you with a brick every time you show him to a house. I hear people need, they need to like watch that. You have to study. You have to study.

That's my problem with the amnesia with people. When people randomly are like, did you hear this comedian? I'm like, did you watch comedy for like, like, it's like, it's like you had a fucking blackout. But that era was so dope because you saw Cal Williams and you also saw Kevin Hart. Yeah, yeah. 21.

I saw Kevin Hart open for Azizan. Sorry, ready for this. Yeah. He was, you've seen him in Scary Movie 3. That was just credit. I was like, oh, sweet. I was like, Mom, we're going to see the fucking guy from scary movie three. And she's like, I'm going to see the fucking good.

Yeah. But in Congress, you never know where you're going to blow up. Exactly. When I have like, him R said the shit that blew him up was Shacks all. Starcom. Yep. Really. He wasn't even going to go to it. Yeah. And that shit helped fucking propel his fucking shit. I remember he killed. When I realized how big

he was, I was at a bar, and he was on a commercial, and he was on, like, the Tonight Show. I'm like, this guy is at the same time on two different channels. He's talking about Chase Sapphire and also promoted some other shit. I mean, at the same time. I think he changed how specials were done. His shit was like movies to a special. Who, Kevin Hart? Yeah. He always to do, like, little

features before. Yeah. I mean, any shit. Eddie shit was like a movie. Local ass bitch. No, you're right. You have both. Both have the feet of little features. Eddie Murphy, one of the greatest sound comedians of all time.

All the time. Two of the most complete, perfect specials ever, right? Raw and delirious. But it is fresh. Like, it is fresh. Raw is better than delir.

That is a tough conversation because everybody's like, what is the greatest? Because everybody's like, what is the guy who had the most specials, but he only has two. Two, three? No, prior has two.

Oh, there's a lot of albums. Yeah. And Eddie Murphy has albums, too, but like, no one ever listens to Eddie Murphy's albums. Yeah. Yeah. He also actually he dropped music, too. Yeah.

Because about us that makes sense because like when priorers come out, there weren't building to do comedy specials. I hate. It was until HBO came around that it became that big thing. Does that make you a great comedian to you? Is how many specials you got? No, no, no, no. It's your impact.

It's your impact. Yeah, yeah. Because fucking Lenny Bruce doesn't have like real album albums. They're just him talking. He's just like, yeah. Comedy's not like your rap, bro. They'll just put out bullshit, bro. Well, that's how they used to do it, bro.

They would just put jokes on a, on a fucking record. But I think Slay Bruce is important because he allowed, like, he broke those laws to den, the dead eventually. Of course. Gee, would a Norlani Bruce know us? Exactly. Yeah, being here in open mic saying, talking about this. Fucking pussy's and wet pissing off and driving.

Like, I hated when like a 21-year-old kid, I'm going to say what it is. A kid is like, oh, I know, Chappelle's last special, who does he think he is? Like, go back and listen. Listen to all the work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to, that's someone who's been doing this for 33 years. It's kind of like where you agree with the punch lines. Motherfucker, you want to think of punchlines he want to use, bro.

Yeah. Give me a fucking break. 33 years, he has the right to do what the fuck he wants on stage. I think he gives the fuck about getting a laugh every 15 seconds anymore. He could do that if he wants to. He could do that just off of body language or making a little sound. No, he has shit. As a fan, it frustrates me a little bit, but he has a right to.

That's my thing. It's like, I'm not going to say. The greatest gay jokes ever. Which one? The Gs are driving. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm such a great joke.

The hell's. There's so many levels to it. The hell's next to the G's. The Stephen Bourdain joke that he opened up. with and sticks and stones I think it's comedy store special is one of my favorite I think it kind of because there's a two-part it got a long yeah yeah I also I like three hours

yeah I like club I like club specials better It's all right yeah because people perform a little differently in theaters Yeah they're more a little bit more relaxed I like the one when you sit down the chair And the intimate crowd special on Netflix that's the bird yeah yeah that thing it taught you out of do comedy and that special right there Yeah he was pulling out of shit and just but that's also my favorite one of my favorite Louis specials is a comedy store one because like the kind of jokes you do are kind of different in a sense that like it's like obviously he can do that theater stuff but the

raw shit too. I love 2017 a lot. Yeah. I love 2017. Fucking 9-11 denies. The 9-11 to 9. We give us back one team. We don't fuck with 11. Because I feel like those specials like you're not editing shit. Yeah, those are

crazy. They just put that shit out if everyone to see. That's also the crazy thing to me is like people forgot. I think especially with like Louis, like, people forgot how crazy stand-up was, like, five. Like, you watch his specials, you're like, oh, this was, he was on the cover of GQ, and then his special was, like, talking about,

like, crazy dead kid getting fucking. You're like, oh, this was so crazy, that was like, well. And then immediately in the last four years, people just changed their whole perspective on what stand-up is. They're like, speaking of specials, shout out to Chanel Ali. Her special was out today. Yeah, facts.

Go on Epics, the blackest. Black woman right there. Channel ever. Yeah, Philly. She's from Philly? Yeah. Philly has best fucking comics, dude. Yeah, we had this debate before, too.

We was like, where... Boston, Boston. Philly, Boston's pretty good. Boston got the old heads. Yeah. Boston, yeah. But Philly... I haven't hurt, well...

Rino Tool. Rinal Toole. I think Zach Braw... Braus... What's the fat boy? Oh, Alan's fucking hilarious. Kenbacks from Boston. Call is on tomorrow, yeah.

Oh, Alan, I love fucking... Alan Fitzpatrick. Which one? Yeah, my girlfriend, she's gender fluid. Yeah. So sometimes she identifies as a man. Sometimes she identifies. as a woman, so sometimes I can

hit her. I love that shit. I love that shit. It's a great joke. Died laughing, bro. I love a good domestic violence show. Like, kind of got a good one. It's like, I hate that gays get mad.

They had domestic abuse. Like, you just lost a fight. It's not domestic abuse. Like, yeah, it's two people. Y'all are the same sex. Y'all can hit each other. Exactly. That is the funniest argument.

People are like, oh, women are just as strong as men. I'm like, all right, if you say that, then it's okay for men to hit women. It's not. They're not. That's not. That was like Kevin Hart's shit back in day

like I hate when bitches tell you to hit them and then when you actually hear they act like something wrong like

hit me, yeah yeah wait till I oh that Eddie Murphy used to do that shit too he's like

wait till I tell my brother you can't hit women back of the day he's like hit women back in day like oh now they're fucking

talking shit so totally they're going to get their brothers and shit you're talking about catwaway you know

my favorite catwin's he had the best Bruce Jenner joke ever he was like You gotta watch the wife who would do. They'll kill somebody and then this is his show with someone else.

He's like, this bitch, show up to the courtroom. The judge was confused. He's like, Bruce Jenner, ma'am, sit down. I was like, yo, that's the funniest shit. Oh, I fucking love God, bro. Yeah, bro, I mean, that just that whole people's, I just wish people all knew about it. Like, they just knew about the whole body of work.

Yeah. But they never look at the work, though. Yeah. You always look at it like when everyone else looks at it. No, you got to look at every different comic that you can. Like, I feel like you put 33 years in comedy. I feel like you can stay whatever you want to. I go from Bruce Bruce to Todd Barry all the time.

Like I just bounce out. So I just bouncing is people that have like only a specific thing. I like a lot of people like that too. They're like I only like this. Like you, I like everything. You have to do, bro. I like that weird shit. Yeah.

I also like that hood shit. Exactly. I really like Anthony Jalsmanick. Yeah, yeah. Well, he tells it, bro. He's a one-liner guy and I love one line of guys, but he's a little bit more boring. I don't like one-line of guy. I like people that are funny to do one-liners.

I like that's different. I used to love the personality. David-Tell. Oh, Mitch Hedberg was great. You can see David Telle in the street corner somewhere right now. That's my favorite. I remember the first time I saw him, he's like, he was just on his flip phone and, like, obviously, like, looks homeless all the time. He wears the same outfit every day.

And I look at my girlfriend. That guy's literally one of the best standing. He's alleged. Yeah. And he's like, she'd have no idea who he is, yeah. He's like, he has money and more money and all the way. I just, I remember he was on Comedy Central now back in the day, Insomniac Theater, man. Yeah.

Why has comedy Central so dead now? Dude, it sucks. Do they not give a fuck about comedy no more? They don't know what it's good for them. So South Park, one of their most successful shows. That's like the other, they're like, okay, they can do whatever they want. But the second another show does something like, nah. What's the Alaska special stuff about?

They're trying to pigeonhole a lot of other comedy. I just don't feel like they let comics be themselves on Comedy Central. Nah, everything's too business-wise. Chris E. Chris E. He should have been way better on comedy. Of course. He's hilarious on his own.

Yo, him saying that Puerto Rico women should be a fucking referees for fucking NFL. It's hilarious. He's like, it's Puerto Rican women to see everything. He's like Puerto Rico will see everything. You think they're going to let that shit slide? I saw you made an extra step. Get back, stupid. Not yard.

I saw him rip for fucking an hour and Austin last month. I got to go to fucking... What time is it, by the way? I think I actually do. I got around. It's 9.15. You got to spot.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. All right, my boys? Are you really the Joe Rogan of fucking New York? Yeah, we did fucking two hours. Let's end this the right way, though. What do you guys want to promote? Revision Lounge every Sunday, 7-ish.

Revision Lounge is on 14th and Avenue B my nigga and the Great Bacon Show Fuck with a Kid Bow. Brown Sugar Comedy in Harlem 134th and Adam Powell Sundays at 6 o'clock Get your brunch on

Dominican comedy Shake mama 23 and one comedy At the stand Me and Gio Perez Two Reform Nextcons Bringing you the best comics in City. Second Tuesday every month. That's stand.

10 o'clock at night. Fucking just come. Wait, wait, when is this coming out? I'm praying that one of these mics isn't fucked up. All right now, because I told you one of the courts might be fucked up. So, hopefully next Sunday. All right, fucking, if you found a way to

listen to this and go back in time, March 17th, my birthday, 27 bars, one night, come die with your nigga. This is coming from you on March 11th. My birthday is in a few hours. Yes. My birthday is in a few hours. Is it really?

Yes, March 12th. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to both y'all. Fuck with a kid. Fuck with a kid. And, um... Young black king. Feree my pops.

I love my mama. And I love my good. Peace. Sweet.