Morning Good - GOAT Mentality - Episode 156

Episode Date: February 12, 2023

Jess Levin and Levi White join the show for today's episode. They talk about #metoo in France, metaverse incels, and getting drunk before Christmas mass.Thanks to Jess and Levi for coming back on the show. Check them out at their links below and go back through past episodes for more appearances from each of them.Jess is on Instagram @jlevcomedy and you can find her in New York at  @fowlmouthcomedybk and @toughlovecomedy. Levi is on Instagram as well @levithewhite and co-produces both @toughlovecomedy and @undertheradarcomedy featuring some of your favorite NYC comics.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. And we're starting. Nehaw, that's how we're starting. Levi White and Jess Levin. What's up, haters? Yeah, fucking fuck you, haters. A lot of people are like, don't bring Levi on.

he's going to be problems. This is a controversial podcast. Wait, it is why? Wait, why haters? The comment section, they're always like, this guy's fucking racist and gay. To you? Always.

Yeah, I like the guy who's homophobic, but also mad at somebody for being racist. This fucking homo doesn't like black people. That sentence has never been said. I don't read the comics section. They always are fucking with you all the time? There's no comment. No, no, no.

Women, though, they comment on their... I don't think I cares. But Leah Simon's talking about how, like, her... There's a bit about how, like, her grandpa, like, beat the shit out of her grandma. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, we're joking around about it. And all the dudes are commenting, like, she contributed a lot to this.

I'm like, well, for her grandpa, didn't get hit, didn't hit her grandma that we wouldn't even have this conversation. Well, totally. And it was a different time then. That's how people communicated. That was like an unofficial love language. Oh, I was saying that. I was saying like, uh, I love you. I love you.

This is why you make me do these days. You don't see me hitting bitches out there that I don't care about. That's what I'm special. Yeah. But no, it was more like they're just like, like people just hate, like they were saying funny. why she didn't contribute. Because they're like, dudes,

there is a comment section on YouTube especially. Now, by the way, that is my, my demographic is YouTube. I figured this out. Oh,

yeah. I thought Reddit would be your demographic. Oh, yeah. If I could get myself on Reddit, a little bit of that. Yeah. You'd kill it.

You'll never get hired again. Yeah, yeah. Because TikTok, do they fucking take off everything. Yeah, well. Yeah,

yeah. Dude, I'll fucking hop on that. Dude, I was watched that doc on, I forget what it was. Oh, it's great to be here.

Have you seen this? No, I haven't watched it. Okay, but you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, so, you know what I'm talking about that? No, who's it about? All right, so this guy did a, um, used to do those clips on, uh, Instagram where he would interview people wasted.

No bracts, no gas, no breaks guy, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He also, he just got me too, right? We'll get to them. Did he get me too? Yeah, yeah. Who, for what?

It was funny because you shared, you, I remember seeing you shared it, like the day he got me too. And I was like, is just like, this guy's great. Yeah. Well, the, the doc itself was really good, man, because he didn't like, you know, get involved in any way. He just like, he kind of just like did the documentary and just like recorded because QAnon folks are crazy

in their own right. Yeah. It's like just a bunch of watching crackheads go bananas. So he did that and what was he going to say about it because I got Stone. What happened? Oh. It was done before this? No, not at all but I'm just still like brain. My brain fought today. We're just talking about it. It's fucking atrocious. But

that whole thing what did you get Me Tooed about though? Hold on. Now you got me all thrown off. Well, because he got Me Tooed and the Rick and Morty guy got me too at the same time. He beat a woman. I know the full story. Is it Demandist?

Is it Me Too with domestic abuse? No, it's only sexual, I think. Right. So what is that? Domestic is just... What's the... Domestic, it's a Tuesday.

Right, right. What's the parallel to that? Because there's Me Too for sexual stuff. Yeah. Was he like beating her pussy though? Like if he punches her... Oh, was he... I don't get that.

Yeah. But hold on, like, this fucking thing. So I forget I was going to say, about it, but it was a really, really good thing. Oh, the QAnon merch. He's like, I didn't realize how much merch there is just for the Q&on world with the t-shirts and bumper stickers. I was like, dude, what a great money-making fucking idea.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You kidding me, these guys can't, like, rub two cents together, but they're going to spend $30 on like, you know, Trump is my guy or whatever witty shit that they put on there. That's like, I love, you seen the Elvis movie, right? I, dude. It's horrible. I love horrible. I have bad taste, by the way.

I have bad taste. We know. You think a castle in Orlando is better. than Versailles. So we realized that. You and Ryan O'Swildic thing, where you guys, they're both tough talking northeast people. So they're like, we have to make up to this by being into Shakespeare and stuff like that.

You guys are overcorrecting. Because we have what's called an education up here. I went to Florida State University. Yeah, that's great. Talk about Me Too University. Every football player there, you need to have a rap sheet to get on the freaking team. So whatever. That sucks to be like, have

that kind of thing and still not be winning that much. Yeah, exactly. If you're going to get a rapist, at least win the fucking title. For sure, yeah. But we, of course. Hello. Given.

But the Elvis thing was like, Elvis Presley's own managers played by Tom Hanks and he's like, what do you do? I can't do it. Actually, you're doing it better than he did. He was so annoying.

First off, I loved it. He looked like the character, dude, he looked like the character from Austin Powers, the Scottish fat guy and his own...

Oh, that bastard? Yeah. He looked like bad. I was like, what the fuck? That movie was so bad. I mean, I... I fucking hated it. Boss Lerman, you're a fucking loser, and I'm putting this on this podcast right now.

You're overrated. Fuck you, boss. And like, seriously, like, I don't care if he doesn't listen. We'll get a USB stick and mail it to his house. That's fine. I will. I caught you. He's going to think he got caught doing something.

Right. In the morning and good podcast. Yeah, fuck you, bitch. Romeo Juliet, I'll give you. But everything in that, every single movie, Great Gatsby, horrible. Yeah, I didn't like. My girlfriend was watched the other day. I was like.

It's so horrible. First of all I don't like the book, Ray Gatsby. Shut up. Yeah. Horrible. Horrible. I'm going to sing a song with pop music.

It's like, shut up. Yeah. Let's get what other. Australia? Shut up. What I was saying, the Elvis thing is, he goes,

we are going to sell, I love Elvis pins, and I hate Elvis pins. That's smart. Yeah. Well, so you go to Times Square and all those places are like, fuck Joe Biden and also like,

hell. Right. Yeah, it's just like the Middle Eastern guy. Like, which one do you want? In the words of the great Jordan, Republicans buy shoes too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true.

That's just what it is. That's what it is. that's a good business model goat mentality you know fuck LeBron champs speaking of that that trailer

the Matt Damon Ben Affleck oh what do you think of that Jordan it looks like shit I think Ben Affle wait wait about Nike

yeah oh really he didn't like it's just like they were a bunch of fucking white guys that sold shoes to black people

I know exactly Ben Afflet I don't think it's that good of an actor no I don't think Ben Affleck's that good of an actor no he's good director

he's been he's been in good stuff I thought the town was sick I love it I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Why, how do you not like that film? That's my kind of movie. By the way, I saw Plain.

Fucking awesome. I loved Plain is not like the town at all. How? It's a shoot-em-up shooting movie. It's all the same. It's unbelievable, dude. Okay, so what did you like about the town? I'll say what I didn't like about the town.

I liked about it because, first off, it felt really real and a little authentic and freaking what's his nuts was fabulous in it. Jeremy Runner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the only one that annoyed me was the chick, because she's all that, that wicked accent. Oh, I kind of like her being a dumb bar whore. Those are great.

What's her name? The hottie. Like, lively? Yeah. She was a little annoying. Yeah, that's like the only thing I've ever liked her in. Oh, yeah. I mean, I get you that.

I'm serious. She's close to that. And Rebecca Hall is, all right. She's all right. But other than that, I just like the whole, like, first off, I'm a sucker for like Irish, Boston violence. I'm in. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Sign me the fuck up. Like, I don't know if you ever seen, there's this movie, Friends of Eddie Coil. Have you seen that? No. Great fucking movie. It's got the same kind of, I forget the author of those books that created those books that made all these friends of Eddie Coyle and a bunch of other shit.

It had that vibe to it. R.L. Stein. No, no. The goosebumps. It was like these 1970s. It was a fucking monster in the class. Right. It's like killing them softly.

Another great film. It's the same writer of those. So it's like, it's got that, I love that kind of stuff. I think I like the setup to the town. Like, I'm all about that. I'm like, what he robs and then he brings her out and he, like puts her thing blindfold on her and I like the walk out. And I can't even describe it. I saw it.

long ago. I mean, it's like six months, but I can't describe what I didn't like it. All right. Well, you just didn't like it. You have a right to your opinion. You just got shit taste. But, yeah, yeah. Plain, though, that was awesome. I don't even see Plain's a Gerard Butler movie. I'm glad to see Leonidas. Right? What happened to me? He was awesome. You would have

guessed. He got exposed as a fucking shitty actor. That'd be so funny, like recent footage shows. He just went into that action shit. Yeah, it's a spartal movie, right? Is that where he started? 300 was like a big one. Dude, I used to pound it. There was tits in that.

I remember I was a kid and I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna pound this. Zach Snyder animated it all cool. It's like, ooh, it's gonna be tits, but like slum. Jiggly tit? Yeah, the Oracle. It was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a jiggle.

I never seen it. I only know the part. This is Sparta. It's fun, it was fun, it was fun. It was like Zach Snyder's, it was his first movie. I think Don of the Dead was his first one. But it was a cool. It was like a cool, it was like a cool,

just bloody action movie. You know what I watched the other night that I really enjoyed? Braveheart. I haven't watched it in years. I don't think I've seen it all the way through. I got to watch it. It is fantastic. I got to tell you the ending.

It's got a little corn. Got a little corn. It's milked corn. But it's nice. But it's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh,

but it also like the, it's bloodthirsty or shit. Oh yeah. It's brutal. Like the ending scene, who. Can you imagine going out like that there? No fucking way, bro.

But it is also just so gay. It is because think about it. I know. You can't take off. You know there's somebody Watched that's like That's why we gotta fucking go Over the camp

Like yeah That's what motivated Because everybody relates Everything to their life Like I watch any fucking movie And I'll be like This is so mean I've been out of plane

Yeah Yeah that's me Yeah I would have been the guy That saved the day It was uh I over corrected though Because I've been getting high And going to movies

And then now that I'm not I'm not through January I'm drinking and going to movies And I doubled down too hard It was like fucking screwed up and plain Like me my buddy went to go see it It was like, oh, that's why you thought it was good.

You were hammered. Yeah, yeah. I was like, awesome. That makes sense. But I knew it was good before I saw it. I saw a trailer and I'm like, me, this movie, this is what I like. Like, because first of all, I love planes. Okay, not an autism thing.

I like planes. Not, not. You got your fucking ring light on your fucking puzzles right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my girlfriend's puzzle. That's like, that's like your new no homo. No, no autism. No tizzo.

No tizzo. No tism, man. Just bro. I just like planes, bro. I'm gonna be real with you. I like Legos, bro. That's just chill as fuck, bro. I don't know how I turned to a hype piece there, but I'm like, yo, bro, fucking.

I got hammered and I saw Brokeback Mountain. Oh, that's a great one, no way it's not funny. I got to tell you, my friend and I, I went with my friend Evan, and we picked up a six-pack of yinglings. And we got trash. We watched it. He was like, yeah, we were dying, dude. We were like, people were all like, and we're like, oh, man, dude, I saw that coming. You know what it is?

The dumb bitch married him. He's gay, yo. Did you guys watch The Last of Us? I only seen the first episode. Oh, you're good. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, so I, the one thing I will say about this is Nick Offerman's gay. You know, Nick Offerman.

He's gay. We're going to spoil this story. That was a whole huge twist. He's bag of dudes. I will say this, straight dudes kissing gay dudes it's so funny because he's the straightest guy.

Oh yeah, of course. So to see him be gay, he is uncomfortable. It looks like he's getting molested in all the sex scenes. It makes sense, though, because he's like, have you ever been with the guy? He's like, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he like, really, like he,

but once he's in love, he's still kissing him and use no tongue. It's the funniest thing to see, like, the straight guy like, I'm not homophobic. It's like the kiss from the office where Michael Scott kisses, Oscar, and it's just the most awkward fucking big. Wait, so he's, what, is he make out with

Pedro? Uh, no, no, no. He's making out with a guy. Because that would make sense. Some guy falls in his hole. Yeah. Physically and metaphorically. And then, he sets up like a little trash. Can you imagine being in the ridership? So it's like someone falls in his hole. Whole?

Whole? He's gay. Yeah. Boom! We're going to fucking win a Golden Globe for the shit. It was good. It was actually, it was very sweet. Yeah. No, it was. I was crying in it. Yeah.

Because I was like, these people were gonna burn in hell. It's gonna be so sad. I liked him so much now. We're never gonna, no. But,

like, yeah, it was really emotional and stuff. But, like, yeah, the other guy's clearly gay. Like,

the actors, you could, you can, you can, it's so funny. You can see a straight guy from so far away. Immediately,

once he crawls out of the hole, I was like, oh, he's gay. He's gonna be gay, too. Yeah. Okay, all right.

That's the show. Yeah. All right, well, then I don't need to see it. There's more to it. There's like these like, what do you call it, fungled zombies. Like there's fungus that goes inside of you. Yeah, no, I remember the, like, it was just the first episode was an hour and a half. And this is the problem with it.

From years of working in film and TV, I could see the acting sometimes and I could see the production going on. And I don't, that's why I like to watch movies. Because movies, to me, I get more lost than them, especially when they're- I'm four. I'm four now. I just finished Breaking Bad, loved it, but these things, they drag on for too long. They drag on. long and it's also like fuck you i'm not going to commit to five years of watching something yeah it's

you know what i don't i want a nice movie where it's maybe two hours even if it's a long saga i want a beginning middle maybe you have not an end or just i just want to get into that world and get out and that's it i can't oh let me go home and watch this it's too much it's like a chain like you know water torture or some shit like yeah yeah yeah no i get what you're saying you know and it's like it's like i also like i can't go to bed and i fall asleep through everything right right so it's like i need something stupid before going to bed and then head straight to bed. Okay. Which, speaking of stupid things, I also watched Velma.

Oh, no. Did you watch it? I've seen clips. Exactly. Everybody's seen clips. Nobody watched it. So I took it upon myself. I said, look, I am the demographic. This guy, you took it upon himself. Look at you. Yeah, yeah, I'm taking responsibility. This is nice. I was like, I'm going to watch Velma, okay? And it's not, I was like, I'm going to see open mind with it.

First off, didn't think Velma would make me horny. That's the one thing I did not. You got out of your mind? Like, she was always like, the sweatshirt. I wasn't into Velma. Daphne is hot as fucking it. And they're like, there's all these soapy cartoon titty. And I'm like, let me try to be an adult here and not find it. It was horny.

It made me horny. So the cartoon tities on the red hair chick is, oh. And then the one real life Thelma chick here on this is, Velma is this. Yeah, I wasn't into Belma. I don't know. I'm not. But I think what it happens,

I think there's a thing with cartoons making people horny. Because I think when you were a kid, you were first like really hot women. You're like, ooh, that's like fucking Daphne. So then there's a part of you. as an adult that you see that and you go... Oh, it triggers that old school? So how about Bugs Money dressing up as a chick? Would that, like, the one who's the officer?

I would bust loaves. I'm scared. I killed the webid. It is funny. They made Lola Bunny so hot. And like, I'll stand by this. That doesn't make you a beastialtist. What's it? Beastialtist.

Is that how you say it? Somebody wants to fuck animals? Just your beastiality. You're a beast. You're a fucking creep. You're a beast. I don't know They may loa buddy

Like hot as shit back in the day But you're like that's a cartoon But also no rabbit looks like now I'm gonna get defensive about this I like that I already I pictured me bringing this up And you guys argue with me So I have my whole defense ready to go

I'm not a pervert I don't have a fucking animal Shit no rabbit looks like that No rabbit talks you dumb schmuck of course I mean it's a cartoon Thank you guys for being on my side about this I was really ready to Then they turned her into a fucking lesbian

Yeah Oh, dude, did they? Oh, man. Yeah, they put sweat here, though. Pepe La Pue got canceled. Yeah. Poor Pepe, man. It's just a culture.

He's French. What is the fucking do? They should have overdone it. They should have made him a predator and then they all come forward. Oh, my God, that's what we need to do. We need to do a short cartoon with all the cartoons, like, who framed Roger Rabbit, but it's like all the cartoons are getting interviewed.

They're like, and that he made me? Like, crazy duck. And he's like, you cut that's a woman. What is this? I hired by Wuna brothers They break contract It's like your peppy La Pue bro, that's what you're supposed to do

That's his whole thing Yeah well that's what always happens People always get me-toot here and they go to France And people are like this person is the best August ever Yeah actually French don't like that Polanski do that Polansky and also there's a famous writer

Also You say Laurent supposedly floged a lot of dudes For a little bit What Louis? Yeah dudes? I mean, little chicks?

No, no, no. He's not pedophile, but he got Me Too. He went to France. Oh, then he went to France. Yeah, I guess that's a home base, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to compare that, but you know what I mean? No, I understand.

The general, you go to home base, like, you don't pass go, you go to Prant. Right. They are, they are like, uh, yeah, apparently like they laugh at the Me Too movement. They're so stupid. No, I was going to say, there's a culture of that there where it's like for years. Like, there's a lot of women writers now are coming out because of a lot of men, supposedly that especially a French writer that I forget where his name is

prolific and is part of their culture supposedly like I don't know did something and he got M-Tude and I don't think anything came of it they're like we're not to the American you know so whatever I don't know where I stay on with it but I don't care

what do you think there's any country that's more like more strict than the U.S. as far as that? I don't know by the way I don't think we're too strong I think we're fine with for the most part There's the occasional stuff where you're like, okay, this is maybe a little bit excessive, but you know. Right.

I don't know. I think what it comes down to us is about money, right? So it's like if you're doing that and it's like this is bad, let's be real here. Hollywood's not doing this because this is the right thing to do. It's money, kid. It's all about the money. So it's all about the Benjimins in the word of P. Diddy.

So it's just like, what the fuck else? Benjamin, another guy who's fucking banging whores. I don't know with their consent, but you know, I'm going to go ahead and say on record, Benjamin Franklin raped children. You think that kite was learning electricity? No, no. No, there was candy.

There was candy on the end of that. Yeah. The ardation was found about it. I mean, to be in theory, not in theory, I mean, a lot of those, you look at the age difference between, I'm sure Benjamin Franklin and those women. Most definitely, man, he was a pimp. I mean, same with, I mean, if we're going to go that far, the Romans, they all fucked little dudes.

Yeah, yeah. You know, that was their whole thing. It was like, no, this is good. This is what teaches you love. Aphrodite made me fucking do it. He's like, what is this kid to get a fucking other kid and get injured? Or is he going to do it under my supervision? Exactly.

I will treat him the right way of receiving anal. That's the part they should have in 300. Yeah, they didn't get real. Meet the Spartans made fun of that so hard because all the Spartans were gay. So meet the Spartans is like the dudes just making out. And then they're like, they're like, hey, nice to meet you. Like to their wives. They like high fived his wife.

That whole genre was so fucking. funny. I didn't see me at the Spartans. It was not like scary movie, one was just totally stupid but funny. Like an airplane or something like. There was always like a rap and dance scene in those movies so I could never watch it. Really? Yeah, that's

Levi's no-no. Yeah, Levi's like none of this black people shit. Trying to watch the Spartans. A white fucking girl just like yo, yo, yeah. I'm like, it's not funny. No, right, right. That's why I hated 40-year-old virgin. The end with the Aquarius thing. I was like, what are we doing? I don't mind. That annoyed me. Because that was fucking stupid.

They had one where there's a woman named Mrs. Camelotro, and she was like, she had this giant cameltoe. It was like, I think it was, they're making fun to step up. And her, like, pussy lips would, like, vibrate to, like, the tune. It was fucking awesome. Oh, damn, that's so, what movie is this?

Yeah, it was, um, uh, it was, I forgot, it was called walk. It was making fun of step up, but it was one of the Wayne brothers. It was so funny. There was this one scene where he was like, I want to be a doctor. And she's like, oh, children. He's like, no, pussies. He's like, I fucking love Dude, you should do, it should be a good movie fest, man.

Oh, it just knows. They're so funny. Also, I don't know this stupid ass. He's like, fuck, no, Siniccane. What are you talking about? No, it's stupid. Yeah, epic movie rule, dude. Also, all the time of Camel Toes, my girlfriend had no idea that guys find Camel

Coteau's attractive. I didn't know that either. Yeah. What about you, Levin? Yeah, I mean, it's nice, but there's sometimes where it's like, I don't know. Well, if one lips clearly bigger than that would be weird. But, like, I think for the most part, like, yeah, I think it just depends. I think if that's like really, I don't know, if I see it through your jeans and I'm like,

there's something wrong with your pussy. I get, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your pussy's eating clothing now. Like, denim? That's thick. Oh, really? So you really got a fucking, like, monster down there that's just. Like, like, or maybe the pants are just wicked tight.

That could be that, too. Yeah, or the pants are designed that way. They just made them go, you tuck them into your vagina. The French pants. Yeah. We'll put this in your. pussy and lift your lips because that's what's women

for for lips lips are important I hate it France I know we've got over I never have gone to France though yeah never been my sister's there now she's doing I don't know why I just pictured her getting taken

immediately but she's in uh what's it called I don't know I picture at the airport whenever you know what I'm waiting for a phone call you're like yeah taxis or so damn expense yeah yeah it's like standing by his phone like ready and it's like he picks it and it's like, hi, and you're like,

fuck, can we hang up? I want to make, like, my sister might be getting kidnapped. I don't want to hear it. And then, because you want to say the line. It's like, they're going to take you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want to,

you have it all planned out. Yeah, you get them, you get, you pay them to do it so you can do it. I pay somebody to kidnap my sister just to like. I just love those lines. I want to live through him, man. Yeah, what is it? My view,

have you seen all these pictures of him just pissing his pants like crazy? What? I didn't, he pissed. There's like, there's like, There's 40 pictures of him We're just urine

Going right to The dude's just piss his pants all the time Okay You have to Google search that Did you put in Liam Neeson piss? Of course, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Somebody I heard it on different podcasts

I looked it up and like This is fucking insane Like he's just urinating all over himself It's kind of like an alpha move What's up? Is he drunk or something Or just like? Probably, yeah

Yeah, yeah He's probably drunk He's hung his shit probably too For sure, yeah He's got a thick brick Who do you think has this small, there are probably some of those actions starts to have a little dick so, because I knew some guys that were big

dudes with small dicks. Like that was the thing too. Well, is it because of the proportion aspect or are they really, I mean, I guess it doesn't matter. Yeah, I didn't pull out of it. That would be funny. I'm like, oh, is your dick smaller? Let me yeah, yeah, I think Tobin Miller talks about like, proportionally he worries about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to say he makes himself look really small during sex.

That would be funny during sex, he puts himself in those little shoes. You know, you for your knees in your shoes? It looks like you're a dwarf. He just does that. Big cock, right? Yeah. But, all right, so we were you going to say who's smaller? Well, you're going to say something?

Who's smaller? Yeah, out of the celebrities, like, I wonder what... The celebrities, who has small penises. I picture, like, Stallone having a weird penis. It's got to be anyone that's fucking a douchebag. That's easy, probably to tell. I don't know. People say that, but I met some assholes with hogs.

Really? Yeah, yeah. And you're like, this guy is a dick, but... Because everybody thinks God likes to even things out. He does it. He gives some people everything. No, yeah. No word.

I think Jeremy Piven probably has a small dick. You think so? I don't know. Yeah, I could see that. He's got small dick energy. Yeah, yeah. You know? But I guess if you have a big dick, sometimes it can counter, right?

Either if you have a big dick, you're a comic-collect guy, right? Yeah, yeah. A lot of confidence. Or if you have a big dick, you're like, I've got a big dick. Yeah. Die, die, I got big dick. That's got to do it, not day. They die don't die.

Yeah. That is the thing. Everybody says people with Downs and her have, like, huge dicks. Yeah. Wait, shut up. You said people with Downs have huge dicks? Apparently, yes. Apparently, it's like, it's like not even...

Wait, I say, yeah, how do you know that? suck Down syndrome guy Watch love on the spectrum And you're like oh you know what I'm gonna try this love on this If you're doing that by the way If you're doing that There is nothing other than you like sucking dick

Because there's no way you're gonna get something Out of sucking a guy with Down syndrome's dick He doesn't have information you don't have He doesn't have political access you don't have You're doing that because you love sucking cock Well yeah maybe I mean no there's some downs maybe with a lot of power You know what I mean

There's some maybe Down syndrome people Maybe in Hollywood, you think? Or anywhere. There's like one or two actors that have it, but that's like about it. But I mean, yeah, but... You want this pot?

Right. You're gonna have to work for. Was that guy for Peanut Butter Falcon, I'm sure, but I don't know, he's only... They're very... Peter Butter Falcon. Oh, I haven't seen that. Was that good?

It was good. Shilabuff is... I like him. I know he's crazy, but... Great actor. He's not. nuts, but he's a great actor. I do like the whole Olivia wild bullshit that happened with him,

and he was like, like that, fuck you. What's going on with this? So, what's the saga? You know what better than I do. She had that movie, whatever, don't worry, darling. Yeah, I heard of dog shit. It looked terrible. Which, with Florence Pugue, who, by the way, love her.

Yeah, she's great. She's fucking fantastic. She's a new thing. She's cool shit. She's a great actress. But, yeah, go on. So the Harry Styles part originally was supposed to be shy of a little boof. Right, okay.

And I guess, somebody in the studio or something because he's always in some sort of controversy and so it was said that Olivia Wilde basically said that she kicked them off of it

because of like the domestic shit but then he released a video of her like begging him to do the movie movie yeah she's like please please don't but it's the most actor way of doing it I know it's just like

you're funny bitch I know, phony content. It's like, we can't do this without you. You are a star. Oh my God. It's like so, ugh. It's like so pathetic. Yeah.

But so when he did that, I was like, you know what? It's like, I did like him with a meme clapping when he's watching his own films. I did that. I was like, you know, I'm with you, Sean. You know, I'm fuck that bitch, you know. And that's why I kind of like him because he doesn't make them, you know. No. Nah.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, he's fully nuts. He doesn't, he doesn't care, which I like because fuck the suits. I'm all for that. Yeah. His movies are great. Yeah. I'm with him.

He also like didn't they also have like a Jordan Peterson character in that? Isn't that what it's about? Don't worry darling? Oh, I don't know. I didn't see it.

The character is supposed to be like Jordan Peterson. Oh. Oh, really? I know like the twist is that it's like all the guys are like fucking nerds or something and all the ladies are actually like in comas or something

and it's like a weird virtual reality or something. Oh, that's kind of cool. So it's just like some nerd guy who's like they're putting women in simulators. like that. Oh, word. Okay. You know what?

That is kind of funny. Somebody that's like, we're going to sedate women, but because you could just fuck them, but he's like, no, we're going to rape. But he's like, we're going to make them.

We want to be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have to like, right. You are raping them, but you're doing it in a way that still makes you feel. That makes sense.

That's another level of insult that I can, I can see that happening. Because now this all makes that's what I heard. It's kind of less disgusting. No, I think it's even more actually.

But really? Yeah, There's a movie called which is based on a true story Women Talking Which I actually want to see That sounds horrible Just by the title

I know I know dude I'm setting myself up with that shit You're like You talk too much How about the sequel to that? These fucking Brow

Hey Women talking too much Parts too I put a camera Amaya Man ah No it's fucked up It's based on a true story

about this Mennonite I mean hello Or men andite Or Amish I forget what they are And they're in the middle of like Columbia or something. And these guys

gas them to fall, all the women to fall asleep and they, like, rape them while they're sleeping. It's fucked up and they wake up. So it sounds like this stupid bitch Olivia Wilde that's like she used that kind of concept in a way, but to do it in a very, you know, Facebook metaverse. Yeah, yeah.

Kind of way. So I kind of like the premise of it, but it still was horribly. I only saw the, I saw the last ending of the scene. Now it's making more sense to me because Florence Pug was all bleeding and shit like that. She runs up and there's like a, she's out of weird house on the top. You could tell, like, everything this chick did, Olivia was like, oh, this will look cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I heard. It's like it's shot, interesting, you know,

looks all right, but. Also, apparently Harry Styles, like, has three different accents in it. Oh, God. I hate him so much. Also, I think there's a thing where- That's a guy with a big dip. I hope not, man. Big old fucking slap. You know what? I bet you too. I mean, I mean, he's wearing, Yeah, dude. He probably has a little nail polish in the tip or something. Probably, yeah. He's like, this is he who we do in Hollywood. Is he British?

Yeah. Yeah, he's like, what we do here? He's uncircised. So, yeah, I have that against him. That doesn't make it. No one's going to be like, yeah, but, um, but it's so funny that you're saying that because I think the in-cell thing, it's funny that never goes away. Like, once you're a nerd, you're always a nerd.

Yeah. So, like, that nerd who's resentful and, like, is, like, kind of creepy in that righty way. It's like, that never goes away. No. I think some people change. You can't get rid of that thing. That's like the whole plot of Breaking Bad.

It's like he has that spite level that like never goes away. It's like that little like fuck you that kind of. Yeah, no, totally. That's what in Braveheart, we go back to that. The whole reason why he also wants to take over the like and help the, you know, Scotland is because his chick gets sliced. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You're never taking my pussy. Yeah, yeah. You'll never take my pussy. It's like they take my pussy, but you'll never really take my pussy. So basically the whole motivation for men It's like either you get getting pussy or not getting pussy Basically that's it

Yeah It's somebody because I don't know Because my mind I've like detached from that Because I'm like oh I don't even care about getting pissed by Oh I'm also in a relationship So like it's almost like it's so second nature to me It's like it's like somebody being like Everything you do in the day is so you can have water

And you're like I don't care about water that much But you're so involved in your day What I'm trying to say is I get a lot of pussy And so it doesn't affect me Yeah No, but as I'm learning more, as I'm banging you guys more. Because I'm heading...

Dudes? Yeah. Okay. Like, yeah. No, no, dudes. Okay. Because I was always friends with you guys. The way you said it sounded like you're banging me and my girlfriend.

No, no, no. You're like, as I'm always friends with you guys. And now I'm trying to bang you guys. Yeah, yeah. Just like, all right, I got to start doing this. And Levi's been like, Levin. You got to go get a nut. So I've been working towards that.

And I'm realizing that's what you got, your motivation behind everything in a way. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I get the frustration for us chicks, but at the same time, it's like what I hate and love about you, your simplicity. Yes, it's awesome.

It's like my favorite scene is like, it's related in a way is, what's it called? Get him with the Greek where he goes, you were focused on so many different things. He's like, I'm focused on one thing. Getting heroin. You're like, do people care about me?

He's like, I mean, his life's a disaster, but he's like, it's one thing. Right. That's like you watch Jersey Short. These guidos are like, bro, I'm going to fucking fight and get pussy. Yeah. That's beautiful. That's exactly.

Exactly. There's simplicity in that. Like, you know what you want. Like, for me, it's stand-up comedy. That's all I care about right now. Nothing else, really. If I can get a nut on the way there, cool. But stand-up comedy is my number one thing.

Do you fuck, are you fucking audience members or other comedic? No, this is just, I've actually been pretty safe so far. It's been this one dude that I occasionally bump into, but I'm always wasted. So the next step now is to try to have sober sex. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like to... Yeah, I know, right? I know.

Sucks. It is less fun. Is it less fun? I've never had sober sex in my life. Really? I've never had sober sex. That's wild. I'm gonna be 42 this month.

I've never had sober sex. It doesn't last as long. It doesn't? No. I think the thing about drunk sex is... I thought the drunk sex lasts not the long either because you guys' dick is like, depending on J-mo or what's going on.

Oh, really? It's... Blue Chew is destroyed that. Blue Chew should be like the next fives. Like, that company should rule the world. It's because it's a boner pill. It's amazing. It's like, literally, you can be drunk as hell, take this,

and your dick works more than it needs to. Really? No, he's using cinnamon pills or some shit. Cinnamon pills? Drink beet juice. Beat juice. He does, like, organic shit. Beat juice gets your fucking rock-off buddy.

This Florida boy has got, he's cultured. He's got class. I'm like you farming, Florida, fuck. I'm not farming. I can do an oxy and blue juice. Yeah, you're like, suburb. I'm a suburb.

You know, seriously, man. But yeah, I didn't know that. Okay, so sober sex, they last, they don't last as long? In my experience, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's a nice five minutes. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the one thing I think... All right, maybe you're drunk and I'm sober. I'll do it that way. Yeah, that's a good idea. Because I think if the guy's initiating all the moves, are you initiating the moves? Are you initiating the moves? Is the guy finishing the move?

Well, I'm trying this out. So this is great. I'm talking to Brian Torres Day about this last night. I liked with this one dude, I was like, I was treating him like an open mic. I'm like, all right, let me try this. I'm going to slap them in the ass. Does this work?

So I'm kind of trying to use these dudes right now to be like, as an open mic. That's a great. That's awesome. You know what I mean? Because I am not that experience in sex. So I'm trying to now be like, okay, what happens if I do this? But not do it with someone that I really like like like, so I don't scare them away. Give them the light up for.

Yeah, I get a light of four. I be like, yeah. I got the fucking phone. I'm like, eh. That's a wrap it up, boy. That's a great move. It's like, yeah, yeah. There's all that stuff where it's like, you have sex to people.

what you're good. No, you should get good at sex. No, get good at it. That's where I've messed up in my early ages. I think I always, I put the cart before the horse. I was like, no one's getting in. Or I always like, this, this shit's going to come to an end, and I was moving at a clip of every six months. So I'm like, what's the point? But that should have been the time

when I was banging and I'm moving on. But I was always just afraid. Well, the thing is the drunk sex is you have this, as a guy, you have this level of comfort that makes the sex better because you're kind of like, you're going to in it, you're in it to win it. You're like, fuck it, let's go. You're not like, oh, am I choking you too hard?

You know, and stuff like that. I hope you like this. Is this good if you know? Yeah. I'm so that guy. Like, when I was single, especially, I'd be like, are you, are you sure you're sober? You sure you're good? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I bet. Because you don't know this day and age. That's why it's like women. Exactly. That's why in a way women do have some power if they know how to use it right. Yeah. Do you hear that, ladies? So.

Take them down. Whenever the biggest competitor is morning good podcast, say he assaulted you. Good's not so good Yeah Yeah But yeah it's like It's like there's that weird thing Because it's like I think women do like that

Dominance But also you have to find that balance of like not being a fucking rapist Like you have to ask people questions like are you You know too Well that's why you kind of have to get to know him a little bit But if you're just you know I don't know You can get drunk and have like a Tara Reid situation Remember that movie with Tara Reid and freaking

What's his name? He was also funny There was a woman named Tara Reid that meted Joe Biden And it was a different Terrar Reid It was so confusing Because everybody's like

Joe Biden Fucked Tara Reid What happened And I'm like no It's a different Woman named Tara Reid Dude Dude man

What happened She was She was an alcoholic Oh my God Hardcore man I forget the movie She was in It was Jerry

Fucking What's his name The actor Seinfeld Get over here Give me that pussy Well you got some weird Tettys

There's a movie That they try to do It's back in the 90s I think And it was like Tara Reid, and this is after her American pie and shit like that. So maybe we... Oh, oh, Tara. Terri. Who's Terri? What's she in that?

Tara Reid was the chick that She was actually... Van Wilder. Blonde. The blonde. Yes. The blonde chick. She was. Dude, yeah, but she became a mess. She got all... You guys... Do you know what I'm talking about Terrarid? Yeah, I don't remember her in Van Wilder. She was. She played the hot, like,

love interest. It was the cute girl. She didn't get wild out. Then she did this movie with Jerry. I can't remember his name. I could see his face. And there's a movie about them getting drunk they have sex and she says she was raped and he was like, no, it was consensual. So part of the fucking movie though, the funny part is the movie, there's a scene where she's riding

him and she leans forward and she hits her head on the fucking headboard. She passes out. No, she doesn't pass out, but that would be a tough situation. You're like, technically my dick was in her when she's passed out, but she passed out when my dick was already in her because she had her head. And then, but the scene is so serious and she's like, ow!

And she keeps on going. And it's supposed to be a serious scene. She's like hit her. 36 on the head. It's like a blooper. They just kept it up there. Can we stop? We're to keep that in.

Oh my God. Jerry O'Connell? Jerry O'Connell? Oh, he rules. I like Jerry O'Connell. I like him in a... What the fuck was he? He was in a cruise, whatever.

Was he in that? Kangaroo Jack, I think. is the only movie you're thinking of. That's what he was in. He was in Tom Cats? He was he Tom Cats? I want to study your brain. I want to,

God forbid, but I just want to see it. Is this fun stuff? And then just nightmareing. It's like, Kangaroo Jack was a good movie. You're going to be fucking homeless, you piece of shit. It's like you got it over here.

I'm just holding it like with a balloon staring at you. And then you got like, no, happy movies. Happy movies. Happy movies. Riff raps a good rapper kind. of just like thoughts like that.

I don't know. But that is, I can't remember we were talking about the Me Too shit, but that was one of the films that were making me like, oh my God, it was a piece of shit movie. And Jerry O'Connell, what a fucking, yeah, I don't know what happened either.

He has like a twin brother. It looks identical to him. He does have a twin brother? Yeah, yeah. I don't know all this weird shit about people, bro. I don't know. And I remember these things so well, and then there's other stuff.

I can't remember people's names at all. Yeah, I'm horrible with that. Yeah. Jerry O'Connell. Doesn't he have his own daytime talk show now? Does he? Oh, that's right. He is doing some stupid talk show now.

I think so. He would fill in for Wendy Williams all the time. Oh, God. You want that route? Yeah. I think it was Wendy Williams show he would fill in. That shit is so wild. He would just be like,

Hey, girls! I know you guys are Hollywood people, so there's zero percent. I mean, there's some of you that are like, it's funny because people get axed from Hollywood are like the Christian ones who like probably are the most tame. and then there's these cokeheads that are probably

fucking whores. I mean, prostitutes. Not like, I'm not degrading these women. Whatever. We're the fuck for money. All this crazy. Yeah, yeah. And then then they go on the next day they go on and they're like, so this is the goofy Gabba show in the morning. We're going to put sweaters on cats. And you're like

that person is for sure wild. And then the other person that they're like, well, Chris Pratt, you know he's a Christian. Yeah, I know. He just He just did nothing wrong. Yeah, dude. Fuck you. Yeah. People going out, see, I don't know this. Chris Pratt's getting...

Yeah, I mean, every... Just like every few months. And James Gunn, like, who's not conservative at all. He's like, very liberal guy. He's like, no, he's like, do any of you guys even know the church he goes? He's like, I know the church he goes to.

It's not like this. They're not homophobic. I'm just sick of people. It's like... It's so in fashion now to be like, I'm not Christian. I'm not. It's like, dude, fuck off.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't care. There was somebody at, I was a gay Christian. And I was like, that's kind of fun. I like, I like the idea of a gay, I was like something's some comforting about. There's a lot of gay Christian.

There's a lot of gay Christian. I'm like, oh, I know. Have you heard of Catholicism? Yeah, yeah, there's a lot. But it was like, it was very like calming. I was like, oh yeah, this is like, this feels nice. Because like, a huge problem with Christianity is the homophobia, which is such a minimal part of the Bible is like very few stuff spoken about gay stuff.

How do you know? Did you read the Bible? No, I say I do all the time. Yeah, shut up. I'll be like, never. Never. I would like to read it because I have Googled it. I have Googled it.

From my research, it looks like there's about three passages that say it, which is very minimal compared to it. You know what? Lovicus, baby. Oh, here we go. Levi knows that. Yeah, because you watch full fiction. No, actually, I don't know.

I don't think it's the gay stuff. I think it's a don't fuck animals. Oh, that's your stuff. That's in the Bible? Yeah. Did it say specifically Lola Bunny, though? Or is it just, it's a baby? No, but I do think, yeah,

but that's like when people are knocking Tim Tebow, because he's Christian. I'm like, I didn't knock him because he's Christian. I knock him because he sucks. He's a dork. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I think if you're a dork Christian, there's a different. There's nothing wrong with that. No. But if you're going to be Christian, be like, you guys aren't supposed to be doing now. I'm like, oh, fuck you, you nerd. Yeah, there is the little nerd of mama. But I got to say there's some things where I like, when I meet like people that are really like into faith and stuff, I find it like, I don't know, endearing in a way. I'm like, oh, I don't know. There's something like very. There's a level of comfort that I get with it. It's like, depending on the kind, though, like the old, I hate those old-ass churches. Oh, yeah. I like the idea of like a little modern church.

You know what I mean? Like a little like that. Why do you got a whole? Yeah. What's with the whole? Because I'm picturing like a gay pastor's like, what's up kids? How's it going?

My name's Kevin. We're going to have a good time here. Okay, everybody. We're actually, I also, I picture more the, the southern gay man. It was like,

how's it going, folks? I like that one. I think that'd be funny. We're all going to have a good time here, guys. I'm losing it. Sometimes I'm going to lose the voice.

But I know, but you're on the role there. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, and then you go in there. You want to, like, a tour guide. Like, he's almost on cruise ship, like, tour guide. Yeah, he's like, we're doing Chapoelais guys on lunch. So you come in. I know with Sundays, but we're still going to do something fun. We're going to have a little Chipotle bowls. I mean, the cheese is not good for you, but I love it. It's so tasty.

And God said on Sunday to live your best day. So here we are. Like that sounds so comfort. I was like, dude, being hungover and going to that on Sunday would be sick. Right. Instead of the, like, like a Roman Catholic fucking. We're just whipping you and fucking... My mom's like that. Like, my mom is an Episcopalian and she's like, I can't go to that church.

I was like, why? She's like, they've got a woman pastor. Joni's old school, dude. She doesn't like, you know what I mean? But I kind of get, like, she doesn't like, she likes the, like, oh, like that. Neil, because it's so... That stuff makes me hate church.

It makes me sleepy. Yeah, well, I was going to say, I used to love... I sometimes would... I love churches as themselves. Like, I love walking into them. I just, because a lot of them are very historical and they're beautiful, and there's beautiful to stay in class.

But the only time it fucks me up is it's not even when people are just sitting there and doing their thing. It's when someone walks in or walks out. Then I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Like, I like it when it's like desolate. No one walking in,

no one walking out. Whoever is there now, I sit there and no one move. I love it when it's like a full mass. And then that one family that was fighting all morning shows up late. Oh, and they're all stressed and they're embarrassed. It's just like every single person.

And there's a baby just randomly like, yeah. God damn head off. And they're barely hanging on. You know, she knows she's cheating on her. Dad's not there. Dad's just like, yeah. Oh, dad, yeah, decide.

Fuck, I'm not going to church. He's like, yeah, drop them off. I can take the stupid kids there. Yeah, exactly. He's at the bar. 10 in the morning. That's a fall way to do it. That's a man.

Yeah, that's good. By the way, I've been drunk to church, makes it worse. Christmas Mass, we did like a later one, and I got a little drunk. And I was like, I mean, I played, I've talked about it. before. I did this little game where I tried counting. I was curious, a lot of white people in the church. And I was like, how many non-white people are there? So, started counting, like, Asian people and stuff.

How many did you get? Like, two. It's pretty easy. Fucking, like. What kind of church was it? Catholic. Catholic one? Yeah. And this is in Florida.

Yeah, yeah. See, I wouldn't like a church and, like, going to Christmas. That's, that's bums me out. Like, it gets hot. I don't know. I like a little, like, like, my thing is I, when I went to a Christian middle school, that was kind of fun because, they did it really well because

you go in and Mass was fun they'd have a little song like, there's no God like Chova. There's no God like Jehovah. See, I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I'm with my mother on that too. My mom's like they come out with the drums and the guitar. No, I like an organ. I love that. Me too. I think you and I, we should go to church. Oh, by the way, one of the past...

You should get a high in the church. One of the pastors from our middle school, this was a prep school. He came out as gay and like, Full on leather daddy now Like full on like Would it rule so hard? Father, that's a screen name father

Father He's got like a dude on like a leash He's got little rings Kiss the ring Biddy Man if they were like that at churches being who they are

That'd be pretty fucking incredible man Yeah They fuck with God And they fuck dudes Who cares, Let them have it Yeah I know they got to let it go

The Vatican It's like You know what it is There are babies about it because they had all the power and now they don't really have anyone. They're like, all right, Vatican, go ahead. I like the new Pope.

The new Pope seems pretty sure. I don't know anything about him. They're loosening up on some shit. It wasn't like the other Pope. He was a dick. He had those red fucking... What the ex-Nazi? Yeah, he was an ex-Nazi.

He was from Poland and he was like red. Guys, the important part is the X part. Okay, come on. What was his thing? I have no idea who he was. Pope John, what number? No, it wasn't Pope John. Paul.

What was the Nazi part? What's his name? Fuck, I don't remember his name. He was in and out. Is he a Nazi or didn't you have a fun podcast? We're throwing this word around. I'm just kidding. He had red Gucci shoes or some

shit, you remember? Yeah, he was like... People didn't like them. No. You know, he was like, I think he was more of that old school garden. It's like, bitch, you don't have any more power. What are you talking about? The Romans gave you the Vatican just be like, all right, take it

because it's like historical and shit, but you're not running shit anymore. Right. You know? I feel like the DaVinci. Benedict. Good job. That's what it was. Yeah.

I feel like the Da Vinci Gelt. I really like the creepy stuff about the Vatican. There's not like a mile worth of books that are like, they're like, we're going to keep these for us and not tell anybody. Like they have like crazy amounts of like books that they're like historical books that they're just giving nobody. Right, right, right.

No, yeah, totally. There's like an old guard. I mean, there's a great TV series that I started watching. And it's with Jeremy Irons. And fuck, it was like the first Spanish pope. That's how like fucked up it was back in the day. They're like, we can't have a Spaniard. He must be Roman.

It was the first Spaniard And he like fucking had a lot of power, man And they even got it was crazy I love that shit I'm addicted to that old school shit I love like I wish I went to school And studied a little more theology It's very interesting

And I like you know Reading like St. Augustine and all these guys I just find it very very intriguing Which is the history of that And in fact with DaVinci Code My confirmation name was Mary Magdlin Before that fucking book became in existence And I remember when I chose that name

And mom's like You can't choose her She was a whore nah man and I did it and now my brother's like you know it's really cool

that you chose Mary Magdalene as your confirmation yeah yeah it's cool I never got confirmed you never got confirmed you're going straight to hell

you're both going straight to hell I did the first confession and it was like that I told like a dirty joke which is so stupid dude my anyway a Jew walks into a bar right

the guy's like I heard it I got my communion but I got my communion in Jersey and the guy to talk about it major alcoholic, Father Rock.

He was the biggest dick. And I went in there and I had to give, you know, you got to give confession before you go get your communion. So I did that. I go in and he's like, all right, say that. I don't even remember what I said. It's probably some stupid, like, you know,

I kicked the dog or some shit like that. And then he's like, all right, do the act of contrition with me. And I got all nervous. And I was like, I don't know how to do it. And he goes, you don't know the act of contrition. And he kicked me out. Oh, my God. Confessional.

I was like, he's like, go learn and come back. I'm like, I'm not forgiven. He's like, no. I'm like, oh my God. I had to go learn an act of contrition before I can go back in. I had to do a few Hail Mary. I have always got a lot of, I like, can you just give me the Our Father? I know the Father, like the back of my hand.

Hail Mary, it's like, I know the beginning. Hell Mary. Hell Mary. Full of grace. Slap of bitch and of grace. But our Father, Arroth, be thy name. That being them come, that think thy kingdom done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and deliver us from evil.

Amen. I can't. We should bless the podcast. Every episode, do a little bit of it and forgive us for our trespasses. We forgive those who trespass against us. Let us not do temptation. But deliver from evil. Amen. But the real version is like,

Oh, wow, that's a longer version. Yeah, yeah. I can't do it. It was in Arabic originally, right? That makes sense. No, not Arabic. It was in, um, what's that language? Aramaic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

But the Hail Mary full grace, Lord is with thee. Blessed along our souls, I can't remember the rest of it. Yeah. I would know my, I would do. I think I mumbled. when I was doing. I know exactly like, I'm like, yeah, I knew all those

very well. My dad would be like, whenever you're scared, say the Lord's, or, what was it, the 23rd Psalm? That would just be creepier

because then, like, I remember we had a Tennessee house and it's deep in the woods, so I'd be walking through like the forest. I don't know so much, but we had a Tennessee house

who was deep in the woods. Like, I just just started getting visualed. I don't know what a Tennessee house. You lived in Tennessee? You lived in Tennessee. So we have, I've described it for us.

So we have like a couple members of our family. We have, You know, you have like a wide family. Fat people, yeah. Fat people. A bunch of chubsters. No, like a lot, like isn't like, there's like...

You're an extended family, you dumb shit. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. A wide family. A wide breath, though. Yeah. We all share a family house. This is like a log cabin in Tennessee.

So like we, everybody has different weeks that they can go there. Okay, so it's like a time share for the good family. Correct. And if you go through the woods at night, it's scary. Yeah, I bet Tennessee. Fuck. For sure. But the problem is you, it wouldn't make me any less scared.

Be like, the Lord is my shepherd. And I'm like, now this is my shepherd. creepy. Now the monster's gonna be scared. He's like, who's this creepy little kid? The Lord is my shepherd. It's just like the devil always laughs at that shit. Yeah, he's like, aha, pussy.

But if I was a murder and I was going to kill a kid, he's like, the Lord is my shepherd. This is a fucking scary little kid. What if that's a, the child murders are really just scared of children? Yeah, they're cleaning the horror movies. What a great bit. Let me write that one down.

Guys, it's like a mouse. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. I killed a mouse two days ago. Did you? Fucking smushed that piece of shit. Wait, you smushed it? Smushed it? Like, how did you kill it?

Well, so I knew we had a mouse. And first I got the shitty glue traps and the mouse laughed at them. Yeah. Didn't do shit. And then I got the heavy duty ones. Then that motherfucker got stuck. Sierra comes home. She texts me, just like, please tell me you're about to come home.

This mouse is screaming. Oh, no. Oh, it's so sad. See, why don't you just get the fucking traps that are just like that breaks the neck? No, it doesn't. Yeah, but if it hits their legs, then their legs are just fucking up. Yeah, then they're crawling in a rest of his life. So what did you do?

Then you beat the shit out of him? Yeah, you put a little piece of cardboard and bang. Oh! I can't do it. Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Oh, no. I mean, I take my shoe off.

I know I want to feel it. Levi. He doesn't slowly. Dude, that's like my dad. I'm more powerful than you. So when I was a kid, my dad, we used to get, I don't know, we'd love seafood at my house. So my dad, a lot would go get crabs and they're alive, right? And you'd come home and he'd throw them in the sink and be like, come on, Jess, watch this.

And he'd fuck with them so hardcore. Jesus Christ. Seriously, they were all like, yeah, he's such a fuck on bed. He was like, come on, you want to fuck him? You want to go? And the crabs would be like, and we'd die because he's got those little bitty eyes and they're feisty little fuckers. And he's like, yeah. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And he picked one up and he'd throw it in the pot. And you can hear it go, eh. Oh, gee, that's so. I was like, yeah, one time it got it, which is really awesome. Why do you have to, the same with the lobsters? Why do you have to burn them alive? They don't have to. You know?

I thought they taste better that way or some shit. I'm going to start sacrifice to taste because it's so fucked up. Like, I get it. But like, well, I don't know. Crabbs, fuck them. They're like, that's why certain animals I don't care about eating. Like chickens, fuck you. Turkey's your assholes.

I'm going to definitely eat you. That's not a problem. The only one I really feel guilty about is pig. I pig, I feel awful. But they taste so goddamn good. I would rather eat a dog that's been shot in the head than a lobster that's been drowned slowly. It's kind of sad to me. I don't know.

It's like morally, I think. Oh my God. That's fucking not. What? Yeah. Because it's like that animal suffered more than the dog who was just like, what is that thing? No. Just don't feel pain.

They don't feel shit, dude. How are they screaming then? That's not screaming. That's just like, it's just like it's air or some shit. It's just like, eh. Yeah, it's not really scream. They sure feel pain. Why don't they feel pain?

Because they have no fucking... Because I don't want them to feel pain when I eat that. Now, an octopus feels pain, and I feel also... Have you seen the way they fucking kill those? How do they kill them? Oh, bro, they bashed their head and then they fucking take out the fucking... You can chop the head, but I saw a guy on, like, fucking TikTok or something. He just bites the brain and just gives a little tug and it just goes pure white.

And I'm guessing this was like in, I don't know. So messed up. Georgia or something? Yeah. I don't know. I'm going to take a while. That is like, no. He was in the water somewhere.

Yeah, that is somewhere like in Peru or some shit. Yeah. No, I, but also like, I don't know, I saw that movie, my teacher, octopus or whatever the hell it's called. I watched that. Wait, what's it about again? It's about this one little octopus. This guy makes friends with.

And the octopus starts, like, knowing who he is. And he'll come over and he'll like, you know, stay on a table. I would never be friends. They're very, emotional. They're very, very, they're very compassionate. And, but goddamn the Greeks grill, though, so good. I don't need much octopus. Oh, I don't like,

Judge. By the way, you wonder how stupid I am wondering her the dumbest fucking shit? I thought that the Calamari rings and those little things,

I thought that those were the suckers on the tentacles for until about two months ago. I was like, I don't want to eat the guys got those suckers? Yeah. I thought they were cutting them off

and that was like the sucker, that circle was. Yeah, and then what? They put a circle in the sucker so they make it more donatty? You fucking numb nuts. It's the dumbest thing I thought until and I was like, oh, and now I like him because I'm like, oh, yeah, this is just like a cut up octopus instead of like just its tentacles.

No, it's a squid. I don't like, it's not an octopus, it's a squid though, Mike. The one thing I don't like, I don't like we could see their, your, uh, little, I don't like the, I'd rather eat the rings. I like the tentacles. Yes. I'm all about the tentacles more than the rings. But, oh, no, I like, I'm the opposite. I like the ring.

The tentacles disgust me. Because you're trash. The tentacles are the best part because it's, they're like crisp. It's like eating a chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I fuck with those. That's why it's annoying, because when I go get seafood around Christmas, especially for the Feast of the Seven Fishes,

it's always the guys like, I'm like, can I get the Feast of the Seven Fishes? That's like the Italian, Roman Catholic thing we do. It's a lot of... It's like seven, you do like nine fishes? I figure how many fishes we do. We do a lot of things. It's called the Feast of the Seven Fishers. Oh, seven fishes.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. I'm the dumb ass. I know. How many fish are on the Feast of the Seven Fish is in Nine? Is it six? I know. I know.

I know. But, um, but yeah. When I go, I'm like, hey, I want the tentacles. And the guy's like, yeah, a lot of people don't like, I'm like, they're trash because the tentacles are the best part. That's my final answer. Yeah, I'm very open mind with food. I'll eat a bad thing. Do you know what?

I really can't stand lately. All right. So I was in Boston, great town. And I had mod sticks. And the guy gave you matsticks and the marinera sauce was warm. Thank God. Right. Some places I go do.

I hate it. Cold. Hey. Levi. Why? What the fuck's point of that? Why would they do that? It gets cold like super quick.

It is. Just have a fucking sauce thing. Yeah. Why would I want to take mozzarella sticks and put it in coal sauce? Like, why would you want to do that? Yeah, it is kind of gross. That's disgusting.

And also, I'm sorry, if the menu says cheese sticks, not ordering them. You want to say mozzarella sticks? They gotta say mott sticks. I'm not saying cheese. If your cheese sticks were in some shit hole in the middle of nowhere and they're not doing it right,

it's like some freaking bullshit. String cheese? What do you think of this? I don't know. They give you like a little wrapper on you. Whatever, yeah. Whatever prison food that they want to serve me, that thing, I'm not doing it, dude.

I can tell you. Or they won't even preserve it. It says Marinera or Ranch, I'm definitely not fucking ordering it from that restaurant. I'm not dipping mozzarella sticks in ranch. That is disgusting. Yeah, it's kind of, no, I like it. Yeah, well, you would.

Back in my dairy days. Yeah. You don't do dairy anymore? No. He can't. His Tom Tom can't take it. Oh, Levi. Levi has a major asshole belly situation. That kid, like, he looks at it and it's like bad. Oh, that's not good. He's just getting over being sick, man. This guy had to go out. I'm sick for like five years now.

I'm sick. Every other week, I get sick. Well, you should try this gout that he got, dude. It fucked them up. You had gout? Yeah, dude. What is gout? It's a flare-up in your joints.

It's like arthritis. A lot of rich people would get it back of the day. Mostly goes to your big toe so you can't walk. Yeah. That sounds horrible. Yeah, it sucks. But you don't look that out of shape. I like that I prefaced that.

I don't look that terribly disgusting. If you open me up. It's nothing about fucking fried food and Yeah, I eat garbage too. I do feel bad because we do got a, we got to end here. Okay. Real quick announcement for the morning good listeners, I'm only going to do morning good once a week. Sundays will come out.

But the episodes will be 10 times better because I'm going to do more research. Not research, but I'll have more shit to talk about. I'm doing a better setup. And I'm putting more effort into each episode instead of recording them back to back. So once a week, but it'll be better. And I promise you, it'll be better. I'm just trying to make it a better podcast. It's not going to be better.

Fuck you. Every Sunday morning good will come out once a week. If he's not homeover or... If he's not homeover and he doesn't have late sets on Saturday, he'll have the pot up. See, this is why I'm doing it because I want to not... I want to record them fucking ready. Have my coffee.

Have a couple topics, maybe, but mostly still fuck around. What do you guys want to promote? I got nothing. My Instagram at J-Lev comedy. Or Levi the White. Thank you. Thank you, buddy.