Morning Good - Hot Rails - Episode 279

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

Josh Dittrich and Jack join the show for today's episode. They talk about Christophe Jean's gangbang accident, the Gulf War and Iran-Contra Scandal, and Michael does an informative Galaxy Gas presentation.Thanks to Josh for coming back on the show and bringing Jack. You can find Josh on Instagram  @josh_dittrich_comedy_etc and check him out on previous episodes of the show for more.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michaelgoodcomedy and on Twitter @agoodmichael. Check out the show on YouTube and follow the official Instagram page @morninggoodpodcast.

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning, very good. Oh, I love it.

Hey, welcome to the air. Thanks. Welcome to the morning. All right. We're here with Jack and Josh Dietrich, who I've been saying your fucking name wrong for the whole time you've lived here. I lived here for about six months. now. Yeah, it's been...

Also, Jack is Josh's friends. So Christopheen was supposed to be the guest here, but he died in a gang bang accident last night. What happens when you go out in Brooklyn? Not like gang banging.

Like he was like... In a gang bang. No, in a gang bang. Yeah, he died. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was imagining him in the middle. I don't know who this person is. Yes, he was in the middle of the gang bang.

And the hard part, too, is it's kind of like when somebody falls asleep in their own vomit. Yeah. He guys that was seen him. He fell face down and seen him. Somebody would just flipped him on his side. And he was just, so out of energy that he couldn't move

and he couldn't breathe. Correct, yeah. It goes both ways with your own vomit. Because you can't lay backwards because then you choke on it, but you can't lay forwards and can't breathe so you on your side is how you lay somebody who's come drunk. Yes, it's the same as regular drunk. Yeah, yeah. But you almost backpacking.

You got to do backpack at the end. You know what backpacking is? No. It's a classic frat trope. You get a guy who's clearly going to vomit on himself, put a backpack full of blankets and towels and whatever on him, so he physically cannot roll over onto his back.

Oh my gosh, dude. It's tried and through practice. This is like the, the boy scouts for frat pros. This is frat one of fun. I just kicked the monitor. You're like this with the backpack on.

That way, you can't roll backwards because there's like a bunch of weight and shit and you can't roll forwards because it's heavy. So you just kind of fall asleep like this and we throw up, it just goes out.

Yeah. That could save less. You guys are a little younger than me, right? Yeah. This is, you guys are thinking about things we were just never thinking about it. You were in a frat.

Would you just be like, I hope. he lives just going on his couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually, you know, you splash some water on the face and then... If there's movement at all, yeah. Yeah, you check the breathing. Yeah, I mean, now, to be fair, multiple people died at Florida State University while I was there.

Yeah. I'm not surprised. Yeah, Jesus. From all kinds of, you know, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, shenanigans. Yeah, shenanigans. It's one of those like, you know, it's like the streets, you know, it's like, you know, we lost a lot of great man. Yeah, yeah.

None and I actually know a couple from my husband. Fuck, dude. I was out to be like, none from my fraternity. I was like, shit. That's dead. Yeah. Yeah, we did. There was a few people from...

Fuck! All right, all right. All right, all right. We don't have to delve into the... Fallen soldiers. Oh, we will delve into the neighbors, though. So the neighboring fraternity had a guy who ate some dude's face off. Oh, like in like a psychotic break kind of situation?

Yeah, yeah. Is it like PCP or something? I don't know, dude. He ate somebody's... Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. I'm imagining like a kind of, you know, the freak accidents you hear about from chimpanzees where they're like, yeah, you just ripped the guy's face off. Yeah, you just like ripped both of his arms off.

Is it that kind of situation? Yeah, so was somebody else got a birthday cake and he thought it was supposed to be for him and then he freaked out and ripped a guy's face off. Yeah. Did it was the logical progression of events. Yeah. Was there a chimpanzee in the frat? Did they bid? Um, a chip. No, no, no, no. Stop being sensitive, Josh. Yeah. Yeah. Florida State, man. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. No, the fucking. Let's just make this a whole thing. We're just like dunking on Michael. Just finding every aspect of his life. Yeah, that'd be really funny if you're mean to me when I give him a. great opportunity. To expand your career. I mean, I'm sorry. Mr. Good, it's an honor. This is, I mean, I don't think you know, this is, we got the fucking camera now. This is not my phone anymore. I know, this is the third camera. It's a nice camera.

I walked in here and I said, wow, what a nice camera. Thank you. Yeah, there was time periods where my ex-girlfriend. Trump reference? Is that a shame gillis? Yeah, no, there was a time period where I could not, you know, my ex-girlfriend be like, what if we go on a date? And I was like, I can't afford that because I have to

get a nice camera. So me, my friends can talk about people dying and come. And people's getting their faces ripped off. Yeah, I was like, look, babe, it would be nice, be nice to take you to dinner, but like this camera's $1,300. So, yeah. And the lights, too. This is a legit setup. I mean, this is, I mean, this is the kind of stuff that, like,

did I drop? Can they see the door? Because I'm going to say that. They could probably see the door. Made some accidents in that door earlier. That's where the bathroom is. You take a big old shit earlier? Big old shit. He clogged it. Nice. I clogged it and then I unclogged it. 15 minutes. Okay, you could clog that thing with a fart. That's like a really fucking, like.

This is an old apartment. This is an old apartment. Yeah, I forgot. Every time I walk in here, I'm like, dude, Josh, this is an awesome apartment. And I walk in that bathroom, I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes a lot more sense. I don't know if you guys know you could throw away bottles when they're out of shampoo. Like, there's maybe 400 bottles in there. And they're kind of just accumulating at the bottom of the shower.

It's kind of like waiting through mud at that point. Just bottles and bottles. It's like you're in Vietnam. Yeah, like, uh, you're just like, uh, the bottles piled up higher than we can see. Yeah, I need to fuck it. Adderall day where I just honestly snored it. Yeah, I think the strat is you get

as drunk as humanly possible the night before you wake up with more anxiety that you could ever imagine and then you do a fuck ton of adderol and you're gonna be like, I'm spazzing, I can't I have to do something and then you'll hit the bathroom. This is like a jean. No, no, no, no, because this happens to me too. I get hung over and then I go to the gym and I'm like,

yeah. I did this last weekend. Josh was here on Sunday and I was like, or this is, I guess two weekends ago, all out of my roommate had all as friends over from high school or in college and I woke up so hungover on Sunday I cleaned while they were still like actively hanging out and making messes I was like

I just cleaned the bathroom, clean the backyard clean the kitchen like just walking around like a freak. Yeah yeah yeah that's that works perfectly like I remember I do that and I'd wake up uh we don't acknowledge people outside of this out of this out of this L couch nobody exists

morning good universe ends completely yeah yeah um besides uh rest of is Christoph Jean. Christoph Jean is here with us in spirit. I can be Christoph Jean. I'm the ghost of Christoph,

Jean, Austin, Texas, come to the mothership. Yeah, there we go. About my knowledge of Christoph's I know that he's from Austin. He has red hair and he's from,

he works at the mother ship. Great guy. Absolutely great guy. Worked at the mother ship. Yeah. I don't even know that, apparently. Fly away. He's dead now from the

from the seaman. We're to the mothership until last night. Notice how, you know what, there's a part of me that could have made it a gay orgy. And I said, you know what? Hey, we're a little more elevated than that, okay? I would never call somebody gay as a joke. Insensitive.

Six minutes in. But, you know, again, we get 15 minutes in. You were literally like, yeah, Jack, this is a, this is a great podcast for you. Just like, your career will be fine. Like, we're not going to take it too bad. 30 settings in, he's like, come dying orgy. Come orgy.

Man, yeah. It'll be all right. I think no one will care. I'll be able to weather the storm regardless. There's worse things on the internet than this. We should be able to find. Yeah, there's the Christoph Jean come death or jeal. There's a video of it?

Wait, I'll be back in about 30 seconds. It's on, what's it called? Look, dude. It's on, it's on EFucked and it's also on. Right there. Do you see that? Yeah. Gore.net.

That's crazy. What's the one with the ISIS beheading videos? Run the Gond live leak, right? I think it's on there, too. That's like the OG. That's like Gulf War kind of videos. That's right at the start of the internet can pop it in.

Gulf War. I was never Iraq 192 so probably not Gulf War Maybe more like invasion of Iraq The Gulf War and the Gulf Iran? No, it was Kuwait Kuwait

It was Gulf of Mexico It was like Tampa Bay area Yeah, we gotta get these fucking Cubans out of here There's so many goals You get to say the Gulf War You ever heard of a guy named Saddam Hussein? I have heard of him

Yeah, he was being a little naughty in Kuwait And they're like They're like we're gonna go fuck your shit up. And then we got all confident. And then Bush was like, let's run it back. And we invaded Iraq.

And that was bad. So there you go. You need to be a history teacher, dude. Holy shit. I could be, um, we could,

we could riff on any sort of major conflict of the Middle East in the past 50 years. You don't actually know about it? A decent amount. He knows. It's my, it's my quarter life crisis

as I've just gotten weirdly drunkingly try to regurgitate this to somebody to bar. Oh, I'm like, actually, it's going to be just like, you know,

the back, you know, When Paddam Fuck pain And poop weight And he was You never used the knowledge Until you're hammered

And then you try and tell someone And you always mess it up It's the best time Yeah Yeah And everyone's like What the fuck happened

Who do we fucking the ass And then some dude with a bush Just like invaded The Golden Mexico What the fuck? Dude with a fat push And then there was Abu Ghraib Yeah

Who's Abu Ghraib? Abu Ghraib Was a terrible Aubur It was a very bad prison We were We take open-minded We were, all right, let's see your opinion on Abu Ghra.

We were sticking our fingers and people's butts in Abu Ghraib. It was not. Abu Ghraib was like, it's like, we kind of ended up creating like the Avengers of terrorism because we brought all these terrorists together, put them in a prison, and then like, like, fucked all of them up. And so they were like, all right, in order to get out of the situation, let's team up. And then like the music started playing. And then they all had like a fight scene.

And then they all created ISIS. This is exactly like what happened at private schools in Orlando, Florida. No difference. They sent the bad boys to one place. They'd haze him and then they'd become terrorists? Dude, that's what happened. There's only two scenarios. It's Abu Ghrave A and then the holdovers is B.

And you can only pick one around. St. Petersburg prep. Listen, if you went to Orangewood, you know what you were. You were a prep school that they would just throw all the bad kids in. And then it just became a fucking... Like a melting pot of just shenanigans. Yes. Yeah.

You had something positive to say about Abu Ghrave. You were talking about how you like that. He's a big Abu Grape guy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I just think that, uh, you know, that would be a hilarious session of the podcast. Is I have to take something like, you have to say one good thing about about 9-11.

You have to say one. Just like they do with the election where they're like, you have to say one good thing about the other thing. Yeah. And it's always like, I like him and I don't hate his bitch wife. Always spit it. Um. Yeah, Abu Ghraib. This wasn't a real thing.

You don't have to have you to have you said something good about it. Now I'm using my improv skills. Can't tell him, quite the improvisers. It's said to me about two minutes to think of one punchline. I think it, it, uh... Oh, can you, real quick, could you go like this for a second? Yeah, you're good. You're good.

Yep. Yep, that works. Or just not bent here. This thing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Michael likes to make the guests play with, play with the... Play with their chords. Play with their chords.

Yeah, I'm going to edit in later. That's how you end up getting covered in semen at the end of a gang bang. It's just a lot. It's step A of a 20-step process. Playing with the cord. Then you start playing with other people's chords. Then you start playing with other people. And then you drown in cord juice. And then you drown in cord juice. See, somebody should just put a fucking backpack on them. Why don't people we could have a older generation. We don't know these kind of things. You guys had to

if we'd have been there, which I wish we had, I wish we had, we got denied at the door or we got fake tickets. We didn't know enough brothers. We eBayed a guy for tickets to the Christov Jean-Gain bang and we get there and they're like, this is fake. He's like, no, these are just cold play tickets,

dude. I want the Christoph gene gang bang tickets. Yeah. Oh, that's terrible.

Wrong sea. Yeah. We're on Tid Mastrian to the wrong sea. We're in for colds. We're in the off- Yeah. It's a classic mistake. But I mean,

our thing is this, we had to have so many of our fraternity guys to die for you guys to learn to not do that. We kind of were like the, what not to do. This lesson was learned in blood.

Yeah. That's what it is. SIGAP at FSU is kind of like Abu Ghraib. Some people do some horrible shits that future generations to learn and not repeat that. It's a learning opportunity. There you go. And I've defended both.

I got there. I took about 10 minutes, but I got there. The buffering was going on. I think is something really funny to say about ISIS in 35. So wait. Stick around. Yeah, get the wheels turn.

It's going. It's going. I'm going to be real quiet in the corner. Just sitting there. It's thinking as hard as possible. I'll get something eventually. And you chime with one bit, but you totally mess up

the punchline of the joke. You're like, that was like me last week, somebody dropped a cup, and it was really loud at the comedy show, and I'm just like, fuck,

I don't know. I don't know. I don't have fucking somebody dropped the cup jokes. I'm fucking sorry, okay? You don't have those in the back pocket, dude?

I got an Abu Grave joke. I got a cup drop at a comedy show joke. I've got... What's your cup drop and a comedy show joke? Now you're putting me on the spotlight joke. Yeah,

let's say you dropped the job. Let's say we, man that thing must have been full of semen wow but do my spots tonight instead of yeah yeah I got you do my spots tonight you're doing a good job even I'm sure I mean honestly I was like I don't know this guy well but he looked funny like you look like a fun

you look funny bro you look I understand I understand the compliment that was coming out of that yeah yeah he's got a beard he looks like like a laid back guy he's got a fucking I'm laid it as fuck that he's on a pot of And he's just basically just like, whatever. Yeah, he's like, I don't get, which is better than like, I mean, comedians, I mean, even me. I'm like, oh, God, this week, if I don't have enough rifts by 14 minutes, I'm going to lose all my listeners.

I'm going to sit. I'm going to straight up like this and it's like a lot. Dude, I used to do comedy like that. It was so bad. I look in the mirror and I'd like play a song and be like, this is time for you to crush. You just going there and bed. Hey, guys, where's everybody from? just can be the moment that changes your trajectory of your life.

You better lose yourself in the music. So baby funerals are fucking crazy, aren't they? That's a certified Michael Good real bit. I battled for it last night. I battled for it hard. What do you mean you battled it out of the mud? What do you mean you battled for it? I was, uh, I don't, that's one of those jokes about, so I was doing like a headliner

said. Kind of a big deal now, guys. But, um, it was, uh, it was a longer set. So I'm like, I don't like doing the baby funeral joke. And, like, I mean, it's a winery with, like, old ladies and stuff like that. And so I'm, like, not trying to be, I'm going to do whatever jokes I'm going to do. But that joke is, like, particularly people get uncomfortable with. So I'm like, okay, if I still haven't gotten the light, then I will throw this out.

And so, like, they're loving me the whole set. And then I was like, all right, I still haven't gotten the light. So here we go. And then I was just like, like, there was a couple people loving it. And then a couple people were just like, and I was like, I get it. I get it was like a weird kind of like back and forth, but I was like, I still gotta keep through the rest of the joke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But they loved it. It was a great, fuck it. Sorry, it was a great show and I'm a hero. Anyways.

I was just gonna say the, those kind of jokes, either I feel like hit immensely hard or it's, you got too many people that are sitting in the audience, just, just again,

too entitled for the joke and too entitled for the video. You're at a comedy show. Why are you not, why you're not experience a comedy, you know? Right, but also like you went to a wine show

and you live in Mansassasas, Virginia. He was not in New York. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I totally get them, but they have to get,

like it's like, yeah, we got to, I'm like, it also seems weird that after like, liking you for 40 minutes, like,

and it's not like that joke came out of nowhere. You have, like pretty edgy. Right. It's not like you were like, you were like, well,

my neighbor took my package one time and also shit ton of dead babies. Oh, I was talking about double teaming some guy's wife with them. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying, like, it didn't come out of left field. So it's kind of weird. I feel like once you get a comedian's vibe If you like him, I feel like Well, this is my thing I realized this.

I was talking to Farsin, the guy who opened about this And, and my friend. But you know, what's the duchiest? Dude, I fucking hate, My ride, my opener and my buddy.

Yeah, I fucking, I accidentally texted the other day when talking about somebody else. I was like my opener and I was like, no, no, no, no. I was like, yeah, I can't fucking talk like this. But, bro, that's like, really quick. That's like moving in

with Michael and Jake, because they lived together and then I came in like a year later and replaced the guy they used to live with and for like the first two months

like there was a barrier where like the first two months like people would be over whatnot and I'd walk out and they'd be like oh like yeah this or we'd be out in public and this is my roommate Josh this is my roommate Josh

then after about two two and a half months they started just being like as my buddy Josh and I was like you got the buddy oh my god's not conscious oh no I know and I don't mean it was I don't think they were like

he's not cool enough yet but it's just like there's that mental barrier of like I don't know if you've earned the buddy role for me yet, Judge. We lived in other for three years. Yeah. This is my roommate job. Usually stinky is throwing him out of my friend.

I just met. Damn it. I love that. But yeah, so anyway, you were, you texted about, uh, you said my opener you were talking with. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he was just talking about a point where like, they don't necessarily, they didn't dislike me at any point.

They were just like, this one out, which is totally fair. It's fair. It's like sometimes you go to like, even when you like a fucking band, you might go see it and be like, all right, we're going to go piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this song, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going to go piss for this. The headliner is the point. Maybe they just came for just enter Sandman and they don't give a fuck about the rest of Metallica. Like, you know, there's people in every sort of, I saw. You guys fucking, yeah, you guys both, he was in the snake pit for Metallica, dude. In the trine. It was all right. I was just on the other pit, which is still cool.

It's sick pits. I only go to Pitts named after reptiles, actually. Dude, tell him the fucking metallurgist. He's a big metallurgical. Yeah, my uncle's friends with James, the lead singer. Oh, shit. By the way, you don't have to explain it. Yeah.

We're talking. Josh doesn't even know. He lives in, Tony has no idea who this band even is. He's fucking idiot. He lived in my hometown, and I went to, like, preschool with his daughters. And I was in Prague studying abroad. as any sort of fraternity gentleman does. And we were,

my roommate was a big metal fan. And there was a show, it was like, uh, nine inch nails, uh, fucking five-finger death punch, a lot of numbers and verbs basically,

but murderous verbs. Yeah, murders, and we get, uh, I, we see the head, my dog was a headliner.

I'm like, okay, why don't I, uh, reach out and just, check it out, see. And so texting my uncle,

he texts James and I got tickets. And they said that it was like, two tickets and they'll be at Willcall and I was like, I've got three roommates. Do you think I can get four? And they're like, yeah, totally. No worries. And so I pull up to Will Call and it's the tickets for the show and then it's wristbands for something called the snake pit. I don't know what the fuck the snake pit

is. I thought I was a, I thought I was going to get bitten or something, but yeah. There's just a group of people with snakes. Is this part of the new Trump administration that Aligator, Alcatraz and then throw the rest of them in the snake pit of a metallic concert? And at the end of it,

they just, oh, wristband, and like a trap door opens and you just fall into just this like an Indiana Jones style like just snakes I hate snakes uh that is the most metallic that would be so metal dude just drop people dropping random oh this guy asked for fortit he's said it to he's going to give him the snakes yeah I would be sick honestly I think all you get all the crowd noise of people just screaming for the show and you get the crowd noise people screaming in terror because of the snakes the snakes would freak out they would like what What the hell?

They normally live in, like, the desert. I imagine them all bobbing their heads in unison to some of the music. Like, that would be sick. They're kind of like, it's like Pied Piper, but for, that was snakes, right? Rats. Oh, shit. St. Patrick. Yeah, it's like St. Patrick.

I think James Hadfield is the new St. Patrick. Yeah. St. Patrick took all the snakes out of Ireland and put them in a pit in Prague. And then they throw you into the stage. Instead of snakes, it's communists. And they went and did the entire Eastern block. And just for like Moscow, you guys are going to crumble. And then they brought like one million people and we're like,

this is what America's got, put their nuts on the table and the fucking, so be so easy collapse. This is why I have non-comics on the podcast. They know things like this. Exactly. We don't know shit like that. That is insane. Josh?

That explanation lost me halfway through it. I consistently tell him that I think his material would be so much better if he just watched things that weren't comedy. Because every time I'm like, watch any show, watch any movie. And it's all like a funny movie. or a comedy-based show. And I'm like, those are great. Should I've seen 15?

He's never seen a, like, name of, name a show off the top of your head. Any, any non-comedy show on the planet. Love Island? Never seen it. I will say, hooda is a bitch, dude. I'm so glad she lost. Shout out my Love Island watchers out there. Who's Huda?

She was this girl on Love Island, the most recent season. Okay. And she came on the show. Have you seen the clip of the guy going like, Mommy, Mamma-sita? Like, Little Mama. you guys got to get him with your Love Island shit. I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hoda was a mom, was dating a guy named Jeremiah.

Had a kid. Already had a kid, yeah. But told Jeremiah, but didn't tell anyone else, this is a weird, we don't know you to go farther on this stage. It is a Love Island podcast. Jeremiah was like, I'm chill with it, but like, loki, can I, like, consult one of my boys about this? But he didn't want to, like, release her secret to the audience, like,

to the whole squad. Because no one knew besides the girls and him. And so he was like, let me ask one of my boys. always, if would you mind telling him? And then she, uh, told the other guy and the other guy's response, she was like, I'm, she literally goes, I'm a mommy as her like, uh, way of telling the guy. He goes, mama, mommy, mamacita. And she's, and then it ends up being like, no, I literally have a child.

And the guy was like, oh. And then, I was doing a bit. Yeah, yeah, literally. And then he's just out from that. No, well, well, then Jeremiah and this guy sit down. He was like, holy shit. That's kind of like, insane. but she ended up being psychotic, Jeremiah left.

She kind of just rode with relationships to stay. I didn't see the show, but did they say where the kid was? Like, because they're on that island for like a mom, right? Watching his mom get fucked on TV. I don't know. No, literally. They have, it's not,

they don't graphically show it, but they'll basically have them all hang out in beds. They have a girl's room and a guy's room, but it really just turns into like all the couples sleep in the bed together. And then you'll just see like sheets over and then like a like a this motion under the sheets. Oh my God. Could you imagine having to do that, like to watch that? Yeah, I mean, instead of going through photos in your dad's iPhone to see it.

Fucking disaster. Must be crazy. There's a whole generation of children. It'd be too easy. Where's the rush? Where's the fuck? It's on Netflix. That is a thrill of discovery that could potentially, like, put you in a very perilous position.

That's what drives the satisfaction from the event, you know, if you're, like, looking over your shoulder while you're watching it. Yeah. Well, that's my theory on the, uh, the, the, the, the Florida, uh, uh, porn thing. So Florida is like... Oh, no porn. No X-V-D-O. I mean, you can verify your age so you can do certain porn movies. If you do that, you're a freak. I was on the record to show. Oh, buddy. Your face pops up.

Michael, have you put your social security number into a porn site for age verification? No. No, no, no, no, no. No, that would be just my driver's life. Yeah, just a photo of my driver. What it does happen, though, I was talking to somebody else there is like, fucking, you literally do this thing where you fucking, uh, you, you're, you, it makes you not want to watch porn.

So you literally just watch less porn. And then you're just angrier. And then everybody in Florida's angrier. They're trying to make good football teams. I think that's what they're doing. This is also Florida State. If we don't let Tyray Kel Jack off, he's going to score 50 touchdowns. They're just boosting testosterone in the state of Florida.

Right before it happened, FSU was what, like 13 and O? They almost, people consider that they won the national championship people. Talking two years ago? Yeah, two years ago. Yeah, when they got snubbed. Yeah, got snub from the football playoffs. And then Jordan Travis broke his leg. the year after that, they ban it.

They were like sub-500. So something's going wrong. There is a correlation between athletics and porn being available. Yeah, I know. I think they need the sorority sisters of FSU to stand up and really make a move to help the football team out, I think.

So you think more come out of the balls makes better football? Say that again? You think, so your theory is they're doing worse? I think they're doing worse. The two pent up, you know? And I think you need to play loose on the line of scrimmage.

Okay. And so you need to have... I don't know a lot about the game. He played. He's a football player. I'm a football guy. I think I thought you needed testosterone. I guess you probably have enough.

Mental clarity though, too. It's like, yeah. Remember football. Everybody was to fuck the defense. Everybody is true. This is true. Everybody assumes football just some like big apes like running around.

It's chess. It's chess with mindset with and plays. Like it's really a purely mental game. Some of the smartest people I've ever met are my friends that play football. Exactly. Some of the dumbest is. I was kidding. Some of them are smart, but...

I don't know how to interrupt this, but I just had an idea for, like, a character, and it's a football quarterback who hasn't jerked off in three weeks, and every time he's going to hike, he's just like, boobs, 42, oh, shit. Or he puts his hand under the center's ass, and he kind of starts stroking it a little. It's, like, braked up.

They hike the ball back. He goes to catch it. It bounces off of his erect penis, and then the other day... Bumble, bubble. He intentionally, dives forward for like two yards to get a dog pile so it's just covered in dudes.

Like that's, that's his desired. It is a weird. This is the future without porn. No, it's a disaster. But yeah, it is weird because I am thinking about that.

I'm like, some of my football friends are so smart. Some of the fours are so, it's a, it's a mix. One of what position they played, if that makes, probably quarterback.

Quarterback, usually, they got have a good IQ. No, I got a lot of line guys. They're, they're lying guys. It's a,

isn't that what you played? Yeah, it's, you either get the really intelligent, like, Jason Kelsey as players that are, like, not the most physically gifted, but are, like, no, not, no enough about position, know enough about, like, leverage to make it so that they can work. And that is the Jason Kelsey, he kind of portrays himself as his crazy party animal, but isn't he,

like, super smart? Yeah, I mean, that's just a bit, like, it's just the character. It's just a bit. I mean, yeah, when you have infinite money in a super boring, go in every other commercial. Literally. Yeah, but the alternative to that is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I was going to say, if there's any, fuller and you're going to say that, if there's any football guys that people would know just general across populace. It's the Kelsey's and then it's probably like Mahomes and Brady. They just put out a documentary on Brett Farrve and how are you... He's not a great guy. He's not a great guy. He was he up to. He stole like millions of dollars

of like social security money from people of Wisconsin. I don't remember how. Yeah, no, what the fuck? He's also like a hard line Republican. He's one of the winningest sport of all time. He stole social security from elderly. Yeah, no, it was like... What happened? I don't know the details, but it was like literally, I think,

just defrauded, like, fraud levels. And he got away with it because he like, I think just was Brett Farr. And they're like, oh, but he was a great quarterback for a while. So they got him away with it. But yeah, it was a like people don't fuck with the guy at all. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say this.

Stealing from old people sounds terrible. But they're not going to be around much longer. So it's a little bit better. I think we did it. We did a point where we almost need to start stealing old people because there's too many of them that like yeah I bought this house in 1985 it was $50,000 now it's $2.3 million and there's

seven rooms that are vacant but I'm not going to sell it because then I'll have to pay interest on or pay capital gains tax or any sort of money they accrue from the sale and so they just sit there and then they die at the house and then it goes into some estate and then we know one ever gets to live in it so there's families that don't have any fucking money and all these houses

are just so many homeless people no that's black rock I mean that's a big driver but I think there's a million reasons. You're going to blame one megacorp on a whole of this. Fine. Heroin, schizophrenia. The reason that everyone's addicted to heroin is the reason that everyone's addicted to heroin. I would like to start blaming, sorry to cut you off,

but I would like to start blaming Black Rock for all of my decisions recently. I got a hammer last night. Of course I did ketamine and the children's table and that cracker, my fucking, God damn it. Every single whip that I did. fell out of my cab going through Times Square. Black Rock vanguard. The fucking, the cap guy was... That was terrible.

We're going to cut that one. We're going to cut that one. Yeah, every... Every whip it I've done is because of Black Rock. We were just... You need to fry your brain to forget the terrors are doing the society. Exactly. We were just talking about whippets last night.

They sell them at the bodega right by here. Oh, buddy. I know. Yeah. I have a punch card. I cranked a ball, dude. I threw my finger away, by the way. Wait, sorry.

like the nitrous container I was literally just gonna say that so isn't whip it's like what do they advert you kind of explained to me last like how do they advertise it like what is the real use supposed to be obviously as a drug and then that like airifies it to make

like whipped cream yeah so you have the cartridges which you sell nitrous oxide which is also laugh gas which you get the dentist and this you fill it with the cream and then it combines with the gas to make whipped cream it whips the cream or whatever but why does whipped cream not get you high if the gas is in it?

I feel like you technically can't. No, no, no, you can't eat nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide is a gas. The gas is what gets you high. You can't eat, like you can't eat nitrous oxide. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. So if you eat it, it just like goes in your stomach, not your lungs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The lungs, it has to go through the membrane layer, and I think your stomach can just break it down. So also, I assume. That's why you can't, like, eat a cigarette and it would. Exactly. But the difference. That's your. that's going through your Also like,

if you have to go through a membrane layer If you held whipped cream And your, would you No, no, no, because because look This is how you You just pack your cheeks You, you point the thing down

For it to spray out whipped cream All that nitrous is now going into the air It's not going Oh, it goes like that The cream comes out in the nitrous I assume And how you also like None of us

Not me any other We're just guessing If you just did ready whip You could also get You could also get you get high doing that. We used to do that. But that is worse

because it's got other shit in it. But you go like that and you shoot it up so just the gas comes out because whip cream you have to tilt down. So you're tilting it down. I assume it's mixing with the cream, but it's also like it's dissipating.

Does doing ready whip feel like to whip it? It is because nitrous oxide. Because it is. Yeah. Yeah. But there's a lawsuit going on now where every single day I get advertised like,

have you used nitrous oxide, you could be compensated. And I'm like, I could show the receipt. It feels like a sting. And then they just arrest you. I was like, dude, I've done, not like constantly, but I've done whipits for like probably a decade now. And I'm like, it would be so wrong of me to go to them after the great times I've had

and then try to get money out of it. I'm up to industry, man. I do exactly what I was doing since I was 15 years old. I'm not going to come to them back. You know what? You showed me some great parties. I'm not going to take this money from you. It's like going to Budweiser and being like, you guys are just making me too fun on the weekends.

Like, give me money for that. Yeah. I mean, I think, look, don't get me wrong, something's made me dumber. I think, like, I became wiser, but mid-conversations just drop off now, where I'm just talking and I'm like, ooh. I forgot what I was, I think it's the brain eating amoebas and you're going to shower. That is very possible. That could be it, too. There's plenty of factors of play.

Yeah, I don't know. It's like, it seems like there's just a bridge that just ends. Like, you know what I mean? I'm like, there's, and at some point, maybe I'll back the car up. That's also just ADHD. You just lose your train of... I'm more imagining, like, the train of thought is, like, Shaggy and Scooby running, and then they hit a cliff,

and they run off the cliff for a bit, and they stop, look around and go, oh, and then they fall. Yeah, that's kind of my brain. But then occasionally, you can, like, back up and then run and then make it over. But you just, yeah, you stop. Like a cliff jump in a car. It takes a little more work. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just need a good, uh... What's the song from Family Guy? Panama. Like, you see like that that, that, that's a little bit of that. that like bridge at Panama everything all the music stops and it's just

oh Panama then you crash and you land it's yeah well also you didn't finish the snake pit story I did not finish the snake shit yeah I don't do so see

he ran off the bridge and he just ran it back and now we're going to that was lovely we get the wristbands we're like okay we gotta find out where the fuck this pit is

and turns out Metallica plays in like what's a triangle stage yeah and they'll yeah they'll run across triangle do other shenan there's a middle like

center area where the drummer is where Lars is but like James and like all the people were running around and like play and interact the crowd, say if it's in the middle of that triangle. So they're running around you basically, the whole show. And

you have the sentence series right in front of you, but like you'll come over here and play. They'll like come to the like Mike at the top of the triangle and like do some like kind of like hard strumming like for I don't know, rambunctious level songs and we were in the middle of that. So it was like an insane conversation. Rambunctious level

songs. I don't know. I don't know. whatever, whatever level. He's like a 50 year old man. It's been talking about. You know, those, those fucking. Oh, those, those young whippersnappers and they're loud. And they're rambunctious music. The, uh, the last time before this concert that Metallica was in the Czech Republic

was like that, that same tour they did in the Eastern block of the Soviet Union right before the wall fell. And so these guys were, the Czech citizens were rowdy. They're going crazy. They were like, this is their dream. Man, like, this was the thing that kind of opened them to American culture and this is like their ride or die level kind of concert.

Yeah. We haven't a stubborn to it. Yeah. That video is great. You know that what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. That's the crowd of people watching Metallica. This is in, right after the Berlin Wall fell,

they had that concert in Moscow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that Moscow? Yeah, yeah. That was the last time. That was the last time. was the tour. They did that. They hit Moscow. I wonder if they were like, dude,

we can't fucking top. Honestly, how the fuck are we to do that? Yeah. It's like, you got to be in the moment, like, almost out of body experience being like, what the fuck am I doing right now? This is crazy. I mean, the USSR, previously known is that USSR

playing Rockies and one. By the way, from the last episode, you know, the R doesn't stand for Russia. I cockily thought it's dead for Russia. What is it saying? Republics? Oh, yeah. United States of Soviet republics. Yeah, yeah, dude, I was at a bar with like this United States

Russian. And then she goes, Ukraine was never part of Russia. I was like, oh, what does the R stand for in U.S. and U.S.R. She's like, Republic. Did you think that you stood for Ukraine? No. Ukraine, swag, Soviet Russia. Utreans, Slovakia, Serbia, Russia. That's what it was.

That's all the people that were in the U.S.R. No one else. Yeah. No one else. There was the toughest discussion I've ever had because I don't know enough about the war but I don't think we should be funding wars in other countries.

I don't know enough about it, but I had to look somebody in the face. I don't quiet your voice down. I don't know about it. You'll be like, Christoph Jean died in a trail of coming and then you're like, maybe we shouldn't.

Maybe we should. Like a normal take? Like we shouldn't fund wars in other countries. This embarrasses me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is crossing a line. Well, it's just, I'm talking to literally a woman who has lost her family in a war

and I have to be like, Jesus. I don't think I should give you money. I'm like, I have no money. I'm like, bartender, bartender, here we go. I'm like, I'm like, look. Another whip it, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Routed shots for everybody. Look, we can't just be throwing money around, okay? That's how you fuel the New York economy. So therefore you can fuel the Ukrainian economy. It's all, it all goes back to the pockets of people find a fight, Russia and China, wherever we go. Yeah, yeah. We haven't really had a conference.

I'm just realizing, I've known this cover about four years. This pod doesn't realize how much smarter he is than me. Like, I've known that. I've known that. But like, holy shit. This episode. Just because I can regurgitate facts around Russia.

That's what being smart is. No, I don't know. Yeah. There's different levels. There's, there's, like, YouTube video too.

And then there's like, I could do differential equations in my head kind of smart. And you can do both of those. Not right now. You can do both of those. Too hungover right now. Imagine having that as a state of Hunter over. It's like,

oh, you know, so many beers I said, I can't even solve the differential. equation to my head today. Like, fuck you. You know what I will say, though, you don't seem like this. I know some really smart people that fucking just can't be wrong.

And it's so funny when I'm like, I know you're fucking wrong once. You're not right all the time. And sometimes you get them on something and they just will not accept it. Whereas like, I know I'm wrong. I'm fucking like I'm wrong. But some smart, you seem like the kind of guy who when he's wrong admits he's wrong, too. Yeah, I think for me, I just, I have a way of like conceptualizing things. and it's very hard to look outside.

I didn't say something cunty. He said things. That is stuff. Yeah, stuff. But I think there's like, for that context, there's ways in which I,

it takes me a while to wrap my head around the fact that what I'm saying is incorrect because there was a piece of information that I was missing. But then whenever that piece of information comes in, I'm able to then, like you described, re-evaluate that concept and that understanding. And it makes it so you can, except that you're wrong versus some people

the way that they understand the world there's no thing you can put in the mix or whatever change that. Yeah, yeah, they're just like, no, no, no, no, I'm smart. I'm smart and I think also part of their ego relies on it's no longer about right or wrong, it's like, am I, yeah, it's ego's... This argument isn't, am I right or am I wrong? It's, am I a smart person or am I not? So you're going to argue away more because it's like, bigger stage.

When somebody says I'm wrong, I think about one time when I smoked a cigarette out of my nose, and I'm like, yeah, I'm probably wrong about this. Which is, by the way. Or the bottle rocket story. Out of my ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut a bottle rocket out of your ass. Yeah, yeah.

That's FSU fraternity. Do you want me to tell you what I'm? No, we're doing off air just because the the audience has heard this one a lot. They've heard so much. It's an iconic story. We'll tell you later. But it is really funny because I was thinking about this yesterday.

The first time somebody told me I should be a comedian is when I smoked a cigarette out of my nose, which is such a, like, dumb thing. Like, I remember I just smoked a cigarette out of the nose. They're like, you should be a comedian. It was very dumb. All comedy is or all like stand-up comedy is is just an evolution of when we used to just have like jester's and like That's a jester-ass activity.

Imagine you're like you're like the new Dave Chappelle Every time you're like, Yeah. Yeah. You have two cigarettes in your nose like a walrus. I'm imagining ears too. You do ears and you're like, dude, it's just It doesn't get, it's silly.

It's still. It's still silly. Did that not hurt so bad? We ought to bring silly back. So bad. I feel like when I did like soda or like water through my nose, I'm like, ah, I can't even imagine hot smoke and ash. It's fine. Yeah, I'll say it's less than you'd expect.

Have you done it? Oh, do you guys? Not on my nose. That's what I was like. I mean, your nose, it all connects to your, like, it's all the same passage of air. Yeah. I might just make your boogers taste like cigarettes, but. Yeah.

You eating your boogers, bro? No, it was genius over here. Yeah. Well, boogers normally taste like booger, but like cigarette. I mean, it's like when you take it, when you drink a bunch the night before and then you take a shit, the shit tastes like vodka. The same kind of concept. My least favorite part of drink.

I had to stop drinking. I was so sick of my shit. I wake up hungry, but it tastes like vodka. And I'm like, oh, I want to drink again. Which would sound crazy to most people, but Jack's a smart guy, so I assume this is. And he knows when he's wrong. And he's certainly not wrong. I need someone to bring me information that will change my worldview in the sense of

they eat their own shit. after a night out drinking and they contradict my statement and then I'll re-evaluate it. Yeah, they say it tastes great. And then I'll be like, oh, give me a bite. Let me try it. Let me make sure they like. They tell you to drink electrolytes

because it adds some sugar and some like lemon lime Gatorade flavor to the, so when you eat the shit the morning after it. A lemon lime long. It tastes better. Because I hate when I forget the- We have a question. You're asking us this, but what do you think?

Yeah. You think, yep, exactly. Absolutely. That's exactly what I think. You know when you don't have electrolytes and you have to eat your shit in the morning and it just tastes like beer? I mean, I'd almost

rather be eating a slice of pizza at that point At that point I'd rather just go to go get like hungover food from a diner. That's when you know it's bad when you have to go get food in the world. Yeah, it's a disaster. You already ate the food. Why can't you just eat it again? Save money. It's the economy.

It's a cycle, yeah. You were thinking about wanting to hear something crazy. We were talking about like snorting a cigarette. Have you ever heard of hot railing? No. Hot railing is when you like... That's what I did to your fucking mom last night. Hey, she's a slut.

There you go. I'm the funniest test on the podcast. Dad, it was nice knowing you. I think he's going to stab me now. Hey, those are the videos you've been watching your dad's phone. It's just Josh railing your mom. That was on Love Island with Michael's mom, and we hot railed pretty hard out of the shoes.

Mama Cita. All right, anyway, hot railing. It's when you light crystal math. I think you do it. Have you hot railed? No. No. I was like, I was just like,

It's when you, like, take your cigarette and a sip a beer at the same. No, no, no, no. That's some weak shit, Josh. That's called the Tuesday. You're right. Hot railing is maybe the coolest thing you could do. So I don't know if you light it on tinfoil first or however you do it, but you take a glass pipe, like a glass tube, and you, I don't know if you snort,

you snort the meth smoke, basically. But I don't know, I don't know if you also snort the burning meth. Yeah. I think you snort, like, I'm, you snort, like, I'm, you snort the meth smoke, basically. Yeah. Yeah. I think you snort, I don't know. pretty sure how you do it is you like the meth, it starts to like a thing.

And then you, I'm pretty sure you, I think you snort the smoking meth. I think, I think, let's look this out. People do some crazy shit to their bodies. No, I know. You ever heard of crocodile or crocodile? Crocadillo. Yeah. It's just like, it's literally like a heroin equivalent, but it'll just rot your skin.

It literally will burn holes in your body. It's just abscesses. Synthetic drugs, bro. It's scary. I watched YouTube videos these dudes doing hot rails. This is heart rails are when you heat up end of a glass pipe and inhale the vapor of a drug up your nose. Okay, it's not that hard. So it's not.

Why would you nose inhale if the mouth is the same? Because it's fun. Because it looks sick. Yeah. You look like a dragon. You go, yeah. No, I think somebody was explaining, I think you like, I forgot what they were explaining about it.

I don't know. Because I guess it would make sense to just smoke the meth and get it in your lungs. But I think. I don't know. I think they were saying, I think you, I think you might actually snorring that too. I think it literally might be

because they want to look like dragons. At that point, you're a meth addict, like you're doing anything you can to pretend that you're something that's not a meth addict. A dragon. Yeah,

they just protect their treasure. They protect their treasure. The treasure is buried 20 feet under my front lawn. I need to dig right now. And your treasure is meth and if it doesn't tend from you, you kill them.

Yeah, and then you hit a, maybe they are dragons. You're like, we struck oil boys, we're rich. and then, yeah. Just a water pipe?

Yeah, exactly. Just shit, like, literally tubes of, like, your release from your toilet and it's just, like, logs come through and they're like... And they think it's oil. Yeah, and then they take a bite and it's like, wow, you had vodka last night, clearly. You had a butt last night. Yeah, I wish... Sorry to me and cut you off, guys.

There was fun happening, and I was just talking about, I wish I tried to crack. I would never... Have you ever? No, I've never. But I've smoked a cope, but that doesn't do anything. We would call them cocoa puffs. You'd lick a cigarette and smoke it, but it doesn't... but it doesn't, you have to free base cocaine to smoke it.

Um, free base cocaine. You put it in like sodium nitrate or something and it turns it to crack. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I was watching a Hunter Biden's review on. Fuck you. You're sick as hell.

Dude, the pivot. The pivot, channel five is done in the past like 12 months has been so sick. Because they started as like, they interview crackheads in the street or they'll go to like Oblock or they'll go to like any sort of Compton area and just like interview people that they think are funny.

And they've hit like a complete 180 where they, they were in Palestine. They were in. They interviewed 100. 100 Biden has an interview in five years. They did a three and a half hour uncut whole conversation with like the main really?

Yeah, crazy. But Hunter Biden was giving us in-depth analysis of how to make crack cocaine. And so he was saying like, don't do this, but. And then he was totally describing how to do this. But dude, that's like I saw this thing online that I thought it was sick was during the prohibition. Alcohol companies would put out like basically

recipes to make. your own, like, beer, wine, uh, liquor. And what they would do is they'd have a packet in there that's like, now remember, alcohol's illegal. So make sure you don't mix these ingredients exactly like this. Because then you'll make alcohol and you could go to jail. It would just be like the exact process on how to make moonshine. But there's like, now if you do this, it's illegal.

So do, whatever you do, do not do this, this, this, this and this just you'll make. And then people would just, yeah, I was, I was like, that's genius. That's like, we outlawed brownies and the Betty Crocker. I just had like those pre-made brownie boxes and they're like, yeah, you don't follow the recipes. Don't follow it. But we've got all the ingredients. It's the same thing as Whippets.

It's like we know what this is for of order to market it to something else so that we can, yeah. Well, then Galaxy gas is even crazier because Galaxy gas, so these little cartridges go into the... Is Galaxy Guys not Whippets? It is the next level.

It's literally like... Oh, it's branded as Galaxy Gas. It's called it's flavored nitrous. You know what? Can you guys keep the momentum going? I'm going to explain all this. I'm going to grab something from my room. We're going to do a display.

Please just, I don't know what to talk. We'll get into Galaxy guys in a second But it kind of cuts out the bullshit Of that kind of prohibition level Where it's like Oh, we're not even gonna pretend That this isn't for night It's a drugging.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know how they get away with it Because I feel like for Whippets You have like that That layer of like It could be for whipped This doesn't work. Oleg shit, you got this one

It's so big, bro. So this is a, so this right here is a nitrous oxide Oh, I haven't done this It's like, Van of White. Yeah. It's been like seven months.

also do not make this the fucking thumbnail The producer's You have to make this The stuff. People are just going to be so concerned about me So this is like one whip it It's like this You put a couple of these

Into a whipped cream canister And then you huff it That is a giant one of these This is just one of these? Yes, yeah It's all nitrous So this is like a canon Of this

So like two of these Will get you very high This is fucking It says 700 on the... 700 of these. So this is just a whipit vapes. So it's like a resellable, like water bottle. Like you do a bit and then close it.

Yes. So you can literally just do this and just go, like a vape of nitrous. It's like a keg version of nitrous. If that's a beer, this is a keg. And there's no way to put whipped cream in this. So there's zero purpose for this besides... Yeah, they're cutting out the allure or the pretense that it's actually used for something that's not... How much is one of those costs?

This is 70. But it's 700. How much is a whipped? Whippets are like $24 or $12 for like a 24 pack. Oh, no, no, no, more that. Probably like $20 for like a 24 pack. Okay, so yeah, you're getting, it's buying it. It's paying for your buck.

If you're going to buy 700 whippets, get the mega wippet. They'll have flavor. Is that flavored or is that just like? No, no, no, the galaxy. The label is very blue, blue. Gold whip. Yeah, galaxy gas. The gold whip 700.

It sounds like a Bond villain. Like something he used to defeat. Hello, James Bond. Yeah. you're gonna die. Doesn't it make your voice really? It made you deep, yeah. Well, and we had to like,

because it was just like, I had the other thing. I had like the canister for it. So when it's just sitting there, you're like, you just get fucked up. You're like, I'd be sick to be high as hell right now.

But we mainly did it for it. We had a Cinco de Mayo party a couple years ago. Oh. Heard about that. Dude, we had a balloon and it was filled with

Adderall, uh, colanipin, blue chews. Oh my God. And, how did you, how do you,

how do you, how do you aerosolize, That's what I was wondering. How do you aerosolize all that? It's just the pills are in a balloon. No, no, no, no. Sorry, pinata. Oh. Piazza balloon are very different.

Sorry, I have a pinata. I was like, I don't know you can do any of those things. And what you do is we do? You made a pinata with Adderall, blue chew, and anxiety. I mean, freshman year. Were you at my freshman year, but they made a pinionados just full of condoms? Like the whole. Okay, but condoms are a little different.

Oh, this is. This was out of control, dude. But here? This was here. Did we hung it from there? And what you do is you do, you don't have to do it this way, but we would do whipets and then blindfold and try to hit the pinata. So you're like fucking just like in another dimension.

And then we would do pin the tail on the donkey after spinning around and doing whippets. And you're just like, fuck a like, whoa. Let me punch this donkey in the face. But now, I also like to imagine that like the synchoned of my own party was like just Michael. Alone in the apartment. He was digging his.

Oh, my friends. Wait, how many people were here for that? This was before I moved out big. It was like probably 30 or something on that. Still, though. Holy shit. That's insane. Running back tonight?

Question of her. A new pinia. I had to throw the can of the way. Bentee say de Julio party. Yeah, I had to like, because I remember one day I was just like, I was just so bored. And I was like, I bought Whippets like months before. And there was just like two or three of them just sitting there. And I was just like, let me fucking throw on some infected.

mushroom. Yeah. There's something like, wamp, wamp, and I sit in my room, then I go, while I'm high, I go, this is not good.

I just threw it the train. And you're high. That's a good over there. I was like, Jesus moments are necessary, but they, they are not fun to be in the middle of. No,

no. And that was like, that's probably before you moved it. What do you've been here for? This is probably like, I moved in February. Yeah, it's like December. So like,

I haven't done whip it since then. But I still, I mean, this is the hard part. So I want to get rid of these things, but you can't throw this away because the trash compactor will make it explode. So I don't know how to dispose of this. It's like batteries where it's like you might just need to have a giant like

bucket full of them and then one day at the recycling center or something. I could just go to a cop. I'm like, do you know how do I get rid of it? It was legal, right? Yeah. Yeah. But the thing is, yeah. Hey, how can I get rid of the pretence that is not,

you're not high off your ass when you have it. You could also just put in the trash compactor, let it explode. They just kill a garbage. Right outside of our house, it's like, yeah, garbage man's face got flown off yesterday. I'm like, someone put the mega whip it in the Nervid. Because this one that the seal broke on it, so there's no way to open it to get the gas out.

So like in theory, you could release all the gas and then once it's empty, you can throw it in there. But this is full of gas, but this thing's broken. Is that full of like whipet gas? Yeah, it's nitrous ox. It's like, well, you get the dentist. Oh, so you just like bought that thing and then it just doesn't work? No, it worked for a while.

And then I fucked up the nozzle on it. The nozzle on it broken. Yeah. You're just like trying to open it too hard. You're like, man. anymore. Yeah, that's how it happens in like a fucking disastrous state.

But yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't think I'll probably ever do whippets again because ketamine's a lot more fun. You got alternative. Turn into Kanye, dude, if you do too much

I will say this. That makes no sense. It makes no sense. It's just, he was just trying to blame something for just his man. Yeah, this is not good for you,

by the way. This is horrendous. No, not at all. But like, it won't make you a Nazi. Anti-Semitic. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like Antonio Brown. I was asking, I don't know if you were, I was asking you about this, but who else do you think fits in the archetype of person where it's like an Antonio Brown, a Kanye West or like a Connor McGregor

where they're just like, they're not a real person. They're like a Alex Jones for sure. That's a college Joe. Andre Wood. And they're all like the, they're all masters of their respective field in the sense of like they're the craziest

in the political space, craziest in music, craziest in football. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think it. And then it's so funny too because like, dude,

I think somebody should just, uh, punch, punch Alex Jones in the face. No, no, no,

no, you're gonna break your hand. Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's like king shark from the suicide squad. You know that thing

where it's just, uh, yeah, he's like king shark if he was also anti-Semitic. They should remake. He should remake the suicide squad, but it's like,

Alex Jones, Kanye West, Connor McGregor. Like, it's this group of people, Antonio Brown, like, paired together

like, Who would be their like handler? Because you know they have that lady who like controls the squad and like it's like if you guys go off track of blowing your necks up and stuff like that. Who would be the person that may handle them? The suicide squad of like Trump. Yeah. I was thinking of Trump. Yeah.

I also, I think about Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan for her. Just tuned at another thing. Well, I was,

he was the juggernaut from X-Men. Yes. That's your Alex Jones reminds me of because I think I could just see him running. through a wall. I think more of, I think more of, have you seen the blob from like X-Men origins?

Like, oh, yeah, yeah. That's kind of why I think because that guy's just unmovable, but he doesn't have the, Alex Jones doesn't have the build of juggernaut. He doesn't have the neck of juggernaut.

Yeah. She's like, no. You got a blob body and a juggernaut neck. Yeah. That's very insulting. If you hit anyone with that, that's fucked on the internet.

Al Jones, we're coming for you. AJ, I'm sorry. He's got bigger fish to fry. Yeah. Sandy Hook's putting him the ringer right now. He's like what, four billion dollars in debt or something? Good.

Yeah. It's what happens when you just pretend that Sandy Hook didn't happen. Yeah, fuck him. I'm going to take a different take on that, but great. Let's hear it. Yeah. No, I don't think, I mean, I think billions. The number is a little insane. You know, you know what? This is, there's no reason for us to discuss.

Discuss this. He should have definitely gotten sued, but we're not going to discuss the difference of how much how much money Alex Jones should have had to pay. sued for Sandy Hook. Yeah. Either way. man there was no reason for me to I should have just let you should have just let you go there it's got to be discussed it's got to be the video is really funny where I have you seen the video of him who's like I killed the kids and Sandy Hook he goes I must have with the amount of money I'm

here he goes I guess I killed the kids you're like he's a perfect example of a broken clocks right twice like every so often he'll say something that's just so outlandish and it's like wait he was actually accurate in that stuff yeah like he called um there was this like there was this crazy, literally, like, an hour north where I live in California, there was this, like, crazy occultish-esque, like, retreat that the racial people would go on. Oh, I'm talking about Bohemian Grove.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you... Yeah, he exposed Bohemian Grove. Yeah, like, that was a... What's a Bohemian Grove? Literally just, like, a Illuminati-esque kind of thing where people would go to this, like, like, retreat and then do, like, weird rituals.

And he snuck in his videotape. Yeah, imagine Alex Jones called through the bush, being like, guys we gotta find these fucking like dude it's crazy it is insane like it's yeah and like fucking it's a Republican thing right I don't know who I thought it was just like

a rich person thing yeah I don't know what it aligns with but it seemed in the kind of realm of like an Epstein Island sort of like this is probably something bad we don't know what's going on and then it turns out it was bad and like I don't know any other details beyond that but it's fucking yeah it's fucking weird it was insane but but he's also a guy who's just like

my thing with him is everybody's like, dude, he's right. I'm like, dude, he says so much things. If I talk that much, I would be right occasionally. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Like, he'll hit because he's throwing such a wide net. Like, he's going to eventually strike something that's true. And then I think that's just how, like, social media and the internet kind of works now. It's like, the more stuff you put out, anytime you're right, you just forget about the things you were wrong on. Totally. Totally. I'm like, I called that shit. Like, obviously I know what I'm talking about. I've seen like similar things that I've seen like sports betting accounts that put out picks for every game. And the ones where they get wrong, no one gives a shit about, so they don't go anywhere. Then the ones that they do right, like the crazy things they call that just happen to be right, go like mega viral.

Yeah. And they're like, these guys are geniuses. Look, they've crazy calls. And it's like, yeah, but there's 400 mistakes that just don't go anywhere. Right. There's only attraction on bitch stuff. So, yeah, it totally blows it up like that. And it does make, yeah.

And nobody gets fucking enough shit for when they were like, they said something that didn't. Because people were like, well, I don't know. At the time, that was the information I had. It's like, yeah, but you also said, you know, man, you're like, you're like, you're like, you also. we're wrong about this. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing as people

that make podcasts, but the podcasts are really them like just trying to make 30 second YouTube shorts. They can cut out of the podcast. Oh, wait a second. Wait a second. We got Christoph Jean calling it.

Oh, Christoph, Jean, you're on the morning, good podcast now. Oh, my bad, dude. I sucked way in. That's not, no, you died in an orgy

according to our sources. I knew that's what happened, motherfucker. Do you have anything to say for yourself? I'm sorry. That feels bad. I'm just fucking with you. It's all good.

All right, we just mentioned you how you died in an orgy so we had to... I did die in an orgy and I'm calling from heaven but... Yeah, my bad dude I just got real,

pretty drunk last night and then, dude, I fucking woke up like... You ever wake up really early from getting, like, whatever when you're hungover? I was like, oh, I have so much time and then I fell back asleep

and it was fucking 2 p.m. You're good, you're good. All right. I'll let you go, but thank you for... You did come on the podcast today, so I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, Mike. Does he have a riff or a bit? You got something you can throw it to contribute to the show? No, not really. I got a big pimple on my ass. I woke up a big pimple on my ass. I don't know what that means. Oh, that's tall.

Okay, well, thanks for calling. All right, I'll call you later. Are you drinking tonight? Okay, whatever. Probably, yes. That is so funny that I knew that's what happened. I do they got too fucked up. You're still on the pod.

What's up? Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'll probably be out tonight. I'm not, uh, I was going to do Long Island, but it got canceled. So I'm down to hang. All right, sweet. We'll see you later. Bye.

Please, see you, brother. Um, it was so. I just didn't contribute to the show at all. He just genuinely felt bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm sorry, man. The only thing I did think of is he woke up with a big pimple on his ass.

That the people last night didn't like that one too much. It's probably because he was covered in calm. Exactly. You couldn't even tell. Actually, isn't it kind of exfoliating? I mean, you would know. I mean, you would know. Come on, we're back.

We're back. No, thanks. I do you think this is that? The face. But the, well, I was on board with you with that, that hunter, but I didn't think it's fucking sick. It's awesome. So my only thing is just like, I, I haven't done Coke in like nine years.

But I wish when I did Coke, I tried crack because of how awesome. The way he does, yeah, he doesn't cut corners. He's like, this shit was gas. Yeah, he's like, it was like, Yeah, I mean, yeah. And I don't think it is like, in my mind, I thought of crack is dirtier than cocaine, but he's explaining. That's the entire U.S.'s like stance on it because crack is predominantly a black drug or used to be in history. And therefore they gave the connotation of it being dirty.

Didn't they like weaponize it against black communities? Was it crack or something like that? Yeah, yeah. Was it Reagan or someone? Reagan. Or is that as, like there's evidence. So Free Ray Ricky Ross was the guy who was selling crack in South Central, right? back in the 80s.

I think so. Isn't there like a movie on that guy? Fuck, I can't remember what it's called. About Rick Rubin. That guy's weaponizing music. But there's a technically conspiracy theory, but there seems to be evidence that the CIA sold a crack. Yeah, that's what I've heard. I don't know anything about it, so I can't weigh in.

But that's what I heard. They've done some whack shit. Would not surprise me. They sold weapons to Iraq right before we intact Iraq. Iraq and they use drug money to do it. Iran contra affair. Look at the Iran contra affair. And that's what we're all related. That's what we're talking about, right? Yeah, it was, that was

the U.S. wanted to give weapons to Iraq to help in the Iraq-Iran war in the 80s. And the, it's because they really, no one fucks with Iran because Iran is an example of an Islamic state that actually made it out the mud and no one else has done that. And so Saudi Arabia doesn't fuck with Iran.

Israel does fuck with Iran and the U.S. is to fuck with Iran. In Islamic States, they made it out the mud, didn't, Isn't like, no, there's not, what is, this is showing my light, but I want it out of the sand. But isn't, but isn't,

yeah, not be oil. No, but isn't like Qatar and United Arab Emirates and all the Those are all, those are all monarchies, though. Oh,

they're not, they're not, they're not democracy. They're, Islamic in the sense that the entire country is of the Islamic faith. Yeah. But they're all monarchies.

They're all ruled by a ruling family. And so, that's why they're doing well, they have so much oil money. They don't fuck with the wrong, because Iran is Iran is, Iran is, Iran is Iran is,

Iran is, used to have a ruling family. It was the Shah, and then the Shah got ousted by the people. So are they Democratic? No. They're, uh, they're,

uh, what's the word? They're, they're a, Islamic state. Really? Yeah, the,

the Ayatollah, the Ayatollah, technically isn't the leader of the government. He's the leader of the religious portion of the government, but the religious portion of the government is the controlling force in the country. That's sad.

They, wait. No, Sharia law's not sick. What? I mean, it's, are you saying it's just learning about that sick? You're not saying. He's like, Sri Lai,

dude. The, um, the Iran contrafeer was them giving money to Saddam because like, they didn't want Iran to succeed in the war. They didn't want two Irans. They didn't want Iraq to be Iran. And then,

uh, they couldn't do it because they had an arms embargo on Iran. And so they took money from the, uh, fuck, I can't remember the name. It's like these Guatemalan, Guatemalan revolutionists,

like these far right, like anti-communism revolutionaries in Nicaragua, I think, actually, not a Guatemala. But they took money from them and gave arms to Iran and then, like, gave weapons or, like, money back. I don't know, they gave money to two people

they were not allowed to give money to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole thing blew up in their face and everyone was pissed about it. But they've done that. Oh, my, fuck. That's a loudish war. Yeah, holy shit.

They, um, they, uh, Where do we... We're still going. Oh, we're still... We're just getting started, dude. We're going to do seven more hours. Yeah. No, I was just describing what it is.

We needed a visual to describe what. This thing has not worked in a year. Just explaining... Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Because you can't throw it out, because it's filled with gas,

so you can't just throw in the trash because it's dangerous for the trash compactors. So I've got to find a way to actually get rid of it. Does that make sense? Because I don't want to kill a garbage man by accident. But yeah, it doesn't even work. He had never heard of Galaxy Gas or anything. He didn't even know what a Wippet was,

so he didn't even know what a WIPIT was, so he needed to get some visuals to describe. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of it a lot because that. Yeah. It's best for your, best for your sanity. I'm learning so much. We've only got so many brain cells to fry. Seriously, I've fried mine.

It's almost an equal amount, though. If you do Wippets and learn history, it's almost like you just didn't learn this. You just say net even. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I'll get like really high. and watch YouTube videos on Middle East history I'm like I remember three facts and I'm like I got those three facts locked in everything else

Just God, yeah But we are over an hour though I had a great fucking time Where can they find you online? This was phenomenal Instagram Josh Dietrich comedy etc Gotta keep my net wide So I added the et cetera

Etceter is the end The Xter is called You're not gonna find me online Yeah I'll be back You better not fucking find it Don't run out Jack If you work for Jack

If you work with Jack if you work around Jack, you work under Jack, inside of Jack. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're working, people are working me. Let me tell you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're working inside of Jack. Yeah. A bit of a Christof Jean kind of effect going on. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you guys.

Appreciate it. Have a lovely day, everyone. Yeah.