Morning Good - I Genuinely Thought I Was A Wolf - Episode 117

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Big thanks to Nikhil Mehta and Gabe Dorado for joining the show for the first time. Check them out at their links below for more funny stuff from them. Thanks as well to Jake Timothy for coming back on the show. Catch him on previous episodes of the show, and check out his links below for more.Jake is on Instagram @jake_timothy. Nikhil is on Instagram @nikhil_mehta2 and also has a YouTube channel. Gabe is on Instagram @cubanisfunny.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right, we're here. We got multiple people because Nikiel decided to show up late because he was having dreams. He was asleep for hours, but you said it wasn't night. Why, way, let me just introduce. We're here of Nikiel Metaverse, Jake Timothy, and Gabe Dorado. Are you, Nickil Metaverse?

Yeah, I'm trying to rebrand. Yeah. Yeah. What was your dream? So you said you had a dream. Dude, I mean, first off, apologies, you know. You don't have to. I always say this.

Like, the craziest Indian ever. You've disappointed your whole family. That's how it is. Every time I wouldn't even be here if you were out of sleep. So I don't know. I'm not mad. I'm like, yeah, you guys. You do.

Yeah. No. Before we start, like, I watch, you guys clips of your podcast. You guys hold, like,

you guys all hold the microphone like a certain way. Is like, no, no, no, no, is like,

because like, TJ does it like in a weird way. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all have, like,

a specific way of holding it. So should I do it? No, hold it however you watch. So sometimes, like, of all this shit we said

before we started recording. You forgot to do this one. That's actually what I wrote on my phone last night that I'm going to bring that up for the middle of this podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be honest, I've never seen the podcast.

It's, then why'd you even show up today? This is, I love what people try to take this like very seriously, and they're like, dude, they're like, I'm so sorry, I'm late. I'm like, the covers me with a bone. It's okay to not take this.

Morning good, dude. Yeah, it's okay. This was not the priority. I'm representing my people. Well, then you shouldn't be doing the podcast. The Indian. The metaverse people. Yeah, yeah, but what were you dreaming about?

Dude, I had, uh, first I haven't slept that, deeply in years. You were deep in there? And yeah, it was all nightmares. It was just like a trail of like every my, the what woke me up was,

I started feeling around my hair and I was like, I've no balding. That's your nightmare. That was, that was what finally. Dude, it was like that. It was like I was in a,

in an arranged marriage. I hadn't met my wife yet. I, uh, God. Yeah, I was hopping a turnstile and they started this new turnstile policy where if you hop it, the entire turnstile falls over. It was just like a rotation of fucking like every like flaw was just like on repeat. And then I woke up and now I'm here.

These are also like besides the arranged periods, these are like minor issues. Yeah, yeah. It was a nightmare. I was balding. It was a nightmare. Like I got charged for turn. I haven't gotten as deep as it got kind of deep in there. Yeah.

I've got some weird ones lately I've been taking I've been like microdosing a lot And people say that affects your dreams Oh I've had like they've been weird And cool at the same time Yeah I had 1 8A

This Like I had like fucking like Like Chi power And everybody like I was touching Was like I was like affecting like in a positive way And people like oh Gabe you're just showing off And it was weird I was going like

I was doing like Kung Fu my dream I'm going Like dude how am I doing that Every time I thought about fire my hand Like there was like That's sweet though woke up. That's a cool one. The one that I had the other day that I woke up so upset.

Weird. Like I had just finished watching Bill Burr's Red Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so these are all the things in my head that connected and created this dream. I met him like a couple years before at the pair. So just the fact that I've been up close to him and talked to him in my dream, I'm at Red Rock when he's about to go on stage to perform. And he looks at me like about to cry. And something that I do my dreams, whenever I'm like,

this is why I think when I started smoking pot, like, 20 years ago. But whenever I'll get, like, in trouble in a dream, I'll start flying. Oh, well, that's kind of get you flying away from like that. I can control the flying, fucking. But it's weird because he like, waves at me. He's about to go on stage. And I wanted to watch his performance from fucking that close. Dude, I don't know where like, my body just starts flying.

And I can't stop it. I'm like, fuck. You're like, no. Fuck, dude. And, dude, I went around the earth. I swear to God, I went around the earth. By the time I came back, it was just fucking, like, empty. Red Rock. Like, you gotta be fucking kid.

Dude, I woke up. I missed the whole show. I woke up, but I missed the whole show. Like, man, what the fuck? Dude, I had one where I have performing dreams where I, by the way, I said it doesn't matter. I hold the microphone. Just hold it like straight on.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah. It's fine. Yeah. Sorry. But I, uh... Yeah, yeah, like it's a dick, yes. But I have, I have dreams that I have somewhere like I'm doing stand-up and my teeth fallout. And I'm like trying to ascend. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

It's not working in front of like very important. Matrix. Dude, the worst one I had, I had one where I'm in an arena and all of a sudden people start throwing glasses at me. And somebody comes up to me offstage to go, dude, why did you say the N word? I was like, what? I was like, I didn't say it. They're like, no, you said the N word in front of an arena of people. And I'm like, there's no way I would have done that. They're like, blacked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, yes, you did. It's just an arena throwing glass and like, like, Chris Rock bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, why did you think? I was like, I didn't do it. I swear. They're like, a whole of a whole. arena of people. You remember your jokes You did a bit called

White People versus N-words. Yeah. No, yeah, I do remember my dreams. It's so crazy because that's a part of the thing that I've had to dream a bunch of times

that I'm on stage and trying to remember my set. Yeah, you remember like dumb pieces of, like just like one word and like, dude, I can't remember my fucking joke.

Yeah. You're extremely conscious but you can't remember that shit at all, bro. Yeah, yeah. You had it like... I have those, you don't remember

like fragments of shit. Yeah, exactly. I have this like recurring nightmare all the time where it's like anyone I touch gets into an arranged marriage. You were there, matter of fact. I do get that.

Whenever I take mushrooms, though, like the next two days I'll have just weird fucking dreams. Like, I can't make any sense of them at all. Usually I can, like, I can, like, think about a dream and be like, oh, that's because of this happened. But when I take mushrooms, it's just like nonsense. My favorite is I used to have these sex dreams in high school where you'd fuck somebody.

And then I would still have the confidence as if I fucking that person. Like, I'd go to school the next day, and I'd look at the girl and be like, yeah, I know it was just a dream, but in my head, I like... Yeah, but your subconscious connect with hers, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in my brain, I'm like, yeah, you know, that still counts. So I'm like, nice to see you. You've had sex in a dream? I've never had... What? I've never had sex in a dream. That is... A sexual dream.

I've had, like, the buildup to it, and I've never actually had sex in a dream. Are you just striking out? That's your lack of confidence in yourself. Yeah, I don't think it's... It's just, it gets to that point and then I just wake up. Damn. Yeah. Is it? What happened?

Maybe you just, you feel it's like waking you up because it's like an emotional thing. Yeah. You know, like you're feeling, you're so excited about having sex. You just wake up. I think if you were had sex before? He's a virgin. He's like, I don't know what is the dream? I never have sex, man.

I don't know. You know, if you have sex in a dream, you're gay in real life. Yeah. I was normal for that, though. I heard most people, like, you never actually like are having intercourse. I think it's like for like one second, you'll be like, I'm having sex. And then you'll look down and it's like your genitals are switched. you have a vagina. It's like weird. It's weird.

Yeah. As soon as you get your hopes up. Yeah. It's the same thing as flying. Like whenever I know that I'm controlling my flying, I start crashing. Yeah. The flying is crazy. But the same thing is like, sex is like when you're about to like fuck a hot chick in your dream, it's perfect. And then something happens that it just... It morphs. You want idiot. And they're like, oh, no, what's going on? Where's my dick? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's happened to me a million times, dude. Yeah, she just turns into Jake Timothy. Just right, right as you're about to put it in. Come on. Yeah. Your hair is so long. and luscious. Oh, no. Do you have any cigarettes? You're kind of saying you turn into a superhero in your dreams.

I've got to fly in a lot of my... That's good confidence. I had a lot of weird... The worst dream that I have all the time is about baseball. It's... I've had it many times, dude, and it's so annoying because it happens every time. It has, like, a different ending every time,

but it's the exact same, like, conflict. Like, I'm pitching a no-hitter. And then the last inning, like, I'm in the dugout, waiting and the last inning fucking happens and I'm about to go out to pitch my last inning

and I can't find my glove. Oh yeah. I can't find my glove. Like what the fuck is. You're gonna take a seat. Dude, you're like, oh my God, what the fuck is my glove? Dude,

and I wake up like, fuck man. Yeah. Dude, that's like, that's like I still, because you don't play baseball anymore, I still have dreams that I am in college

and like didn't take a, didn't take a class. Or test or something, dude. Yeah. Oh my God. Did I even study for it? Yeah. You freaking out, bro.

I'm gonna get an F. Yeah, it's the worst. And they're like, yeah, you've done zero of the homework assignments. I'm like, fuck. Have you ever had a dream that, like, I can kind of do this sometimes, but it's never the same dream. It's a piece of the same dream. Like, you wake up and like, fuck, like, you go right back to sleep to try to get back into a dream. Oh, yeah.

And it's kind of a similar dream. You can't do it. But it morphed, like, completely. Like, one of the no-hitters that I had one time, I was, uh... You had like a tally on your wall? I woke up with the... I was pitching no-hitter. I'm like, fuck, I go back into it.

So I finish that no-hitter. dude, like, now I'm on the same baseball field. And it's almost like the Red Rock dream. Like, in a weird way, but I'm the same baseball field. And all the fucking baseball players are zombies coming at me. And it's one of the dreams that I fucking have to start flying. It's like, oh, my God. And I, like, what happened to the game?

Dude, and these things are like coming at me. And I just fucking take off start flying. And I wake up like, all right, it's time to fucking start your day, bro. Like, no more, no more dreaming. Yeah, yeah. When you start getting weird like that and like dreams are over. Oh, yeah. Is that where you got your zombie joke from?

No. I think that those dreams started coming after the zombie joke. Yeah. Or maybe I just got obsessed with walking dead. I've had that dream even like on a cruise ship. I was on a crew who's having a best time ever

and then like I woke up and I was like, oh, I want to go back into that dream. And then I'm in the cruise now and fucking there's like two zombies trying to get me in the top deck. And like what the fuck? And I just starts flying like, oh, get out of here. Yeah, I like out because my dreams, I'm, I have zombie dreams, but I have to kill the zombies. I like that your brain's like, let me get the fuck out of here.

Like, you're, let me not. all this. Like, I had one where my mom was a zombie and I had to kill her, which was the worst, dude, it was so dark. Damn, oh fuck. The next day, and when I killed her, she was like, like, she came to she's like, my son, and then died and I was like, fuck. And then I woke up

the next day. Bro, dreams will affect me the whole next day. I'm like, Mom, I love you so much. If they're, like, really vivid, I'll ruin my day. I have dreams where I'm, like, on the run all the time. I don't know what I did, but I'm just, like, being chased. And you wake up and just run out of your apartment.

I wake up and I'm just like fucking skeved out all day. Your dream is probably, because you barely sleep. Yeah, my dreams are fucking terrible. My dreams will wake me up. Every time I have a dream, it wakes me up. You barely sleep, though. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

It's not the dream. It's fucking anything. Dude, I, have you taken, I take an, you said you got a crazy ambient experience, right? Yeah. Not even, not a dream, though. Just fucking. Yeah, yeah. Tell us that story real quick again.

You ever take an ambient? You've taken a lot of trucks. Yeah. Well, I assume you even take the party. You're doing a lot of coke. What is Ambien? It's like a sleep truck. But if you stay up on it, it's fucking wild.

Yeah, it's not like if you drink like NyQuil or something, that will like sedate you. Have you done too much blow and you can't go to bed? Like you take an ambient and knock you out. I've only done it. That seems like a very dangerous way. The worst. I've done it like twice. I just have like a clinical sleep problem.

Doc, I'm doing too much blow. I can't sleep. I fucking, I took Ambien, because just to sleep. But what it, it doesn't like sedate you. It just turns off like the conscious part of your brain. So you're not like a sleep. It's just like enough so that you can stop thinking and go to bed. That's what it's supposed to do.

Yeah, yeah. So I took it and I like got out of my bed to get water. And I was like walking into the kitchen. And I just, it just turned off. And I kept phasing in to like what I was doing. And I was like doing different shit just like, in my house and my yard. Sleep almost.

It was banging on the, like, my brother's piano. And, like, so it was like, oh, yeah, nonsense. Like, stepbrothers. Yeah. It's real. It's like standing in front of the TV, like pretending to press the remote.

Like, yeah, I'm TV. Like, how do you my fucking mind? It just, like, makes you sleepwalk pretty much. Yeah, yeah. If you're not, if you can't get in, my brother does that normal. Like, he still is in?

I don't live with them anymore. But, like, since we were kids, the excuse later was him fucking being wasted just fucking, trying to pee in the garbage can. But he used to do this as a kid all the time. Just walking around the middle of the night. Like, what the fuck is this guy?

That's crazy. The first time I saw someone doing that, it scared the shit at me. Yeah, because you... Did it's fucking scare you when he would do it? It's weird. It's just like, holy shit. Like, I start laughing because it's almost like nervousness.

Yeah, and you just have to ignore it. It makes... I try to ignore it, but I was like, no, dude, this guy's going to kill himself. So I fucking grab him, I just throw him on the bed, like, lay the fuck down. And they're like, lay the fuck down. Oh my God.

Yeah, no, it's crazy. I used to do that thing where I peed in the, I peed in the trash can and I peed in the hamper also when I was sleepwalking. This is not on Ambien. Just sober. This is when I was wide awake. No, no, I was like, this one I was like 10 and I was sleep.

Which is funny that I knew to pee on dirty things, though. Like, I didn't pee in the fridge. I peed in the trash can and the hamper. It's just funny that you knew to, like, just get up and go piss somewhere else. Yeah, instead of just peeing the bed. Yeah, yeah. The ambient thing that was funny, because, like, if you're in that midway, half sleep thing, you can sort of control your dreams a little bit. Like, I've taken Ambien and I was like, I was in bed with my girlfriend.

And I'm like, I'm going to go to Jeff Ross's house. I'm just closed my eyes. And I'm in Jeff Ross's. Not like, I'm a huge fan of him or anything, but it's just like, hey, Michael, how's to go? And then I would open my eyes and be like, I'm fully awake now. And I'd go in. The craziest thing, I was, I had to sleep on an air mattress a couple weeks ago in my friend's house in Boston. And I was like, fuck it.

I'm going to have trouble sleeping. I'm going to take some ambient. So I took some Ambien and then I was kind of like I'm kind of horny, I'm a jerk off. And then I was jerking off on ambient. Is that how that decision works every time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm kind of horny.

I'm gonna jerk out. Girlfriend's like, please don't tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do it. Yeah, no, it was, well, she wasn't there. And, but it was weird because I was having a, like, like, you know where you're jerking off to thoughts? I was like having that, but they were so vivid

because I'm on a bunch of ambient. So it's like I'm literally in the direction. like midway dreams. I'm just standing in this, I mean, in the guest bathroom. Just like, like half my brain knows I'm in the guest bathroom. Half my brain is like actually having sex with somebody. Because you're almost having like a hallucination in there. I really hope there's a video on like your friend's phone of you.

Just like, just in his kitchen. That would be a great if inception was about that. Having sex with the garbage disposal. Yeah. Oh my God. You guys are selling me on Ambien right now. Yeah, that's a good ad for it. You should try, man.

Do you have trouble sleeping? If you just said, you had the deepest sleep your life. Yeah. Fucking late. But it, uh... Do you have a lot of sleep problems? I have a ton of sleep problems. Like what?

I just, uh, I have trouble going to sleep. And then, uh, usually I don't, I wake up like through the night. Yeah, me too. But tonight I, I mean, today I fucking... I was, yeah. Well, also, I looked at your Instagram. It said you were awake five hours ago. Did you wake up at seven?

Well, so my, my problem, I got this new phone. So I don't have Instagram on my new phone. Then who's on your Instagram? No, no, so I was probably up. Setting it up? No, it's probably five, wait, what's five hours ago from when? So I think I looked at noon and said five hours ago. It would have been like seven?

Oh, no way I was up at seven. Then you're, somebody's hacked on your Instagram. You could have, like, yeah. ever not know that you were awake? You've ever been, like, living with someone who were like, they were like, yeah, I had a conversation with you. Oh, my girlfriend does it a lot of time. It's annoying.

And I was like, no, I was asleep. Like, we spoke. He's like, yeah, maybe I did wake up at stuff. She does that shit all the time, bro. And she'll like, look through her phone. Like, it's crazy. Nikkel just checks the story. It's the phone because I've done that.

I've, like, responded to someone's, like, text and not known about it until I, like, looked at it later. It's like, that's fucking, I shouldn't be able to do it. Dude, I had one where I'll get high and respond to the. the wrong person and somebody was like, hey man, you know, somebody was saying something really nice, like, you know, great set, you know, you really got to stick to comedy. And I just responded to it.

You gotta stick to comedy. I responded one of the cockiest things. I was like, you know, you know, I like to talk about what's interesting to me, blah, blah, all this stuff. And I realize I'm texting it to the wrong person who's just like, hey man, it's good scene last night. And I'm like, yeah, I think I really am going to stick with standup. I really think I'm coming into my voice.

If I only knew. It's the cockiest thing to sit. They're like, you weren't even talking. What were you said? If I only knew you from. listening to this podcast, I would think you were like just a complete disaster. I mean, that's not far off at all. Like literally, like, especially with my job right now.

Like, I'm going to get fired soon. But so you were at real quick. You were active on Facebook seven hours ago. What if you slept, like, if you check your story now and it's just you like in a bikini half asleep, just posting the most like obnoxious. Doing thirst traps. Yeah. Dude, that would be the worst.

Like, so yeah, sometimes I sleepwalk and post thirst traps on fucking IG. his like Jekyll and Hyde thing is he's just a girl when he's asleep. So you guys are like 1950s employees dude, like doing crazy bohemian shit on the side. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so crazy. You guys are troopers, bro, because you're fucking doing what you love, but you're getting fire for your day job. Dude, it's horrible. He's getting fired at an alarming rate.

Yeah, yeah, it is faster than most people. Even Jason David, too. He's got a good job. There's certain things he doesn't want. Yeah, yeah. He's got to be Jason D. Comedy when I, when I tag him. I can't put his name in the... Sorry, Jason Dominguez.

No, no, no, no, no. No, you could say his name on here, because this isn't, but like, the description. The Jewish Dominican, Jason. Dominguez, Dean. Jason Domingistine. Dude, I saw, what was I saying? Yeah, no, it's funny because every time they call me into their office, I'm like,

this is it, they found the podcast. Like, I've had 40 times where I think of getting fired. Yeah. every time and every time they're like, no, you're just bad at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just other stuff. My favorite is it because of the podcast, like, no. Yeah, we love the podcast.

You're just a horrible employee. My favorite firing story from you is when they were like, hey, man, we'll be honest, we heard the podcast, hilarious stuff. And you're like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. And then they're like, I mean, you're fired, you're fired, but, oh, no, they didn't say that. Oh, really? Oh, that'd be great.

I guess we got to cut it. Yeah. No, no. It was one of those where they were, they said, they said, we think it's great. You do comedy. But it doesn't align with our company image. Would you tell a story, dude? The story could end at any line.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is kind of true. My favorite story, like, they took you in there like, yeah, we found your podcast. I thought it was just going to end right there. But they are going to fire me now. Yeah, they did like a write-up. And is knowing.

it's one of these jobs, dude, they didn't give me fucking, this was insane, where they fucking, like, two weeks ago they gave me the training manual. They're like, you haven't had this the whole time? I'm like, no. And they're like, oh, that's our bad, I guess. But still quit fucking up. And I'm like, maybe give me the fucking training manual.

What's the story when they gave you the box to move yourself out? Dude, these are all hypothetical. I tell him these things, I'm like, wouldn't it be funny if this happened? Oh, it didn't happen. Oh, fuck. That's like when you asked him to do this podcast, he's like, yeah, hypothetical. I'll wake up for that, maybe. I'll probably go.

No, no. I think you missed their thing because I'm like, I always say like, yeah, and then this, but I don't actually mean that happens. Oh, like they didn't, yeah, I wasn't packing my stuff at one of those boxes. Yeah. Sorry, I'm derailed the momentum. No, you're fine. You're fine. It's just funny because I remember what you're talking about, but none of this is like, I remember saying like, yeah, I made a joke about them like listening like, yeah, we got to fire this guy. Like, that didn't actually happen. Damn it. Maybe I. This is a dream to kill. You're still sleeping at your. your house. Dude, I,

we all grew up up in different places because you grew up in where? Cincinnati. Cincinnati. You grew up in Long Island and you grew up in Miami,

right? Yeah. What, you like Cincinnati though, right? You said going out there's fun. I mean, it's better.

No. It's just the transition. Jake, just watching me try to pick up the momentum after I just dropped it. You're like, we'll give him another shot. Cincinnati.

Go ahead. Nah, it's just better. advertised. You know, people think it's just... I like that confident. It's just like a horror show out there of like just retards, you know, but it's just better than, but I wouldn't do more than a week out there, but a weekend would be cool. Oh, it's tolerable. It's tolerable. Cincinnati? Where you're in Cincinnati? You don't like it? No, no. I liked growing up there. I would prefer to have grown up maybe elsewhere now that they're like, but just at all.

Because you say it's not as like it's advertised. How is it compared to other Ohio City? It's probably better than those ones. Cleveland. I don't know. It's a low bar. It's kind of all the same. But like the Midwest to grow up in is like you're actually, you're like, it's pretty diverse. And you're around different.

And it's like a very like kind of laid back culture. So like that's why I always think like Mac Miller like with Khalifa, those rats that were so big in the Midwest. Because like that was. Ohio. That's why I asked like cities. Because like the times I've gone to Ohio to perform. form like, being like the better audiences. Yeah, yeah, people have like,

compared to like other states, because they're very chill. They're chill and it's like a, it's overall like kind of an industrial culture. So like, people don't get easily offended at shit, but it's, you just. That's where Acme is, right? What is that? Cincinnati, Comedy Club.

No, we got a funny bone and we have go bananas. I think that used to be there now. Yeah, where is Agley? I think it used to be in Cincinnati. I don't know if it's still there. All right. Yeah. But, oh, you see the people get less offended because they're more...

When you say industrial, you mean, like, factory workers? Not everybody's effect, but it's just, like, more of, like, a gritty town in a way. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. That's one thing I felt when I went there, like... Yeah, the offensiveness comes from, like, people who are, like, maybe a little bit more sheltered. But there it's just, like, I don't know, it's just more about... To an extent. Like, if you make certain, like, maybe something about the troops, then there's, like, a blue collar that will just...

There's a little bit of that as well. I don't even know if they really care about that either, though. Yeah. Because it's not really the South either. That's a good point. So there's like... Because the South you have that where it's like you will have people get offended on the other side of it. It's not like, it's not neither red nor blue.

That's Mason Dixon. Yeah, it's just in the middle. Good word, right? Mason Dixon line. It's nowhere near Ohio. Yeah, that's like Virginia, right? Yeah. He said in the middle of north-south.

That's fucking Mason Dixon. Or like Maryland. was Maryland in the southern state or Maryland was the south I think Yeah maybe There was one state where it was like Because there was this weird thing where like There was slaves that weren't freed in the north

Except for Robith. Yeah there was some weird thing I remember reading about In like a book because like there was like Slaves that like Because slavery got like outlawed in the south But it didn't get outlawed in like the northern states For like a time period Which was like really a weird thing

Yeah Let's talk about slavery guys What are you talking about? There was the thing where, like, the emancipation proclamation, I'm pretty, I'm not sure if that was it, but there was a thing where, like, I'm almost positive. There were slaves that were freed in the South, or it was illegalized in the South, but then there were still Northern States that had slaves. No. That's weird. No, I don't think so. Let me look. That's why the Civil War was fought. Let me, I'm half asleep right now.

Everything. No. I'm almost positive. This might, do we edit this podcast? No, no, no. Oh, geez. I'm saying this is a free run. confidence. Yesterday I made. Are you just trying? Is that somebody teach you in like Florida?

I'm still, I want my part about your jobs editor though. Why do you want my part about that? That doesn't even like, you're like, I don't want to look stupid on your podcast. I want to look like an actual. I can't believe. I thought those were real. I'm like in such a hole about that. I'm like, now like how many things have somebody told me where I'm like, that's actually what happened and they were making it up?

You just got it, when someone tells you a sentence, you got to listen to the whole sentence. Yeah, I run with it. I run with it. Now I'm in real, like, I'm in a hole right now. Dude, I'm like, how many stories? Have you watched your office? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you like it?

No. I thought it was all right. I thought it was like, I had a lot of cool moments. But I told Kenny yesterday, I was like, Kenny, like, I was like, man. I'm watching you Elvis. He goes, all right. And I was like, man, how many songs did he steal?

Like, he stole, like, he stole, like, fucking over ten songs from black artists. Kenny couldn't stop laughing. I was like, man, he stole a lot of songs, right? He goes, yeah, man. By the way, I have... Did you know hound dog? It was like, dude, dude,

dude, dude, dude, what the fuck? Dude, like, holy shit, dude, me. By the way, I have no idea what I was talking. What I said made no sense. I'm trying to think about. the thing I was trying to say, because what I said makes zero sense that slavery, because that would make... There were a lot, like, before...

I mean, even, I think, I guess, before the war, there were, like, if you were a freed slave or escaped slave in the northern states, they could capture you and bring you back to the South. Yeah. But also, they would just do that to any black guy. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Even if you were never a slave, they would... That's like what 12 years of slave is about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy was born free, and they just kidnapped him. The handmaid's... Yeah, yeah. I don't know the thing I was... trying to look up. I'll look it up later.

I'll just explain on a different episode. I don't know. There was some weird... No one is going to follow this to the next episode. You'd be surprised. You're like, what is Mike the good thing about slavery? It also makes no sense because of the emancipation propagation started the civil war, right? Or no, no, that was afterwards. That just freed the slaves. Yeah, that was...

I was like the speech that he made that... The South seceded afterwards. Right, okay. The emancipation partnership. Yeah, I have no idea. It was already happening anyway. Like, the biggest thing was about Southern rights, and they were just basically... Like, the slavery was a... pinnacle of like, all right, we're going to war now over this.

Right. Okay. Yeah. It was all about cotton, bro. It was about money. Yeah. Yeah. I realize how unintelligent I am that I'm not going to continue the Civil War slavery talk. What were you guys talking about? Elvitz? Did you like it? I thought it was weird. Like, I had, like, making it modern eyes, like hip-hop and shit. It was kind of, like, cheesy. I hate that shit, yeah. I didn't like what they blacked up the Elvis movie? That was your issue?

No, it was just dumb. Like, it was like, dude, like, like, dude, like, like, I wanted it more like watching Walk the Line Like give me a fucking true Like biopic like that Like that guy Crushed at his office dude He's fucking obvious

I thought Tom Hanks A little cheesy as a colonel Tom Hanks Elvis But uh That's what that director does Like he did the great Gatsby And he had like Jay Z

Exactly that's what I felt like I was watching It was like goofy But then this is like you're saying It's like about Elvis Just put Elvis music in it And what's the fucking point That was good Doja Cats

There's a lot of shit I didn't know about Elvis watching it. Yeah, I don't know how much of that was like totally accurate. It was like a music video, the fucking energy. See, that's the reason I liked it. I like that kind of cheesy look to it because I like a lot of biopics I get kind of bored of. And for me, I think that kept it interesting. But I am mad they didn't go as much into him being a narcotic. Because that was like a whole thing he worked as an narcotics agent.

And they only briefly glimpsed at it. So Nixon had him work as Elvis. Did you read this in the same thing? No, no, no. I'm positive this is true. This is not true. I bet you $1,000. I will bet you $1,000.

This one is true. This one is true. He was a... You know Elvis was Jeffrey Epstein? I mean, he didn't have sex with children. That's not true, dude. No, he, uh, Nixon literally hired him as a narcotics agent. 100%.

And he was a undercover narcotics informant. Yeah, go ahead. Being informed is different than being hired as an agent. He was hired by Nixon. Well, give it a, give it another Google. I'll give it a Google right now. You guys can suck my fucking cock. I'm right about it.

This one I will defend until the end of day. That is right after the year. What was the last? Elvis Narcotics Agent. Presley showed an interest in acquiring a Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs badge. And Murphy suggested that Presley write to President Nixon, offering him a services to Capathy illicit Jerusalem drug. Presley wrote the letter on a plane.

I'm positive he was also. Who made Elvis a DEA agent? Nixon at the White House in Washington, the meeting initiated by Presley who wrote... I'm looking at the reflection

info works. Let's see. President and suggesting that he made a federal agent at large in Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous. He did more drugs than anybody so that's impossible. No, no, no, no.

It's a crazy thing because like, let's see, wanted to badge the true story behind the gun. Did he just want a badge? I might be all. about this after. It's like,

I'm telling you to suck my balls. It's like getting united by the queen. It's just he just gave him a badge because he thought of he wanted one. Tells the story of meeting, blah, blah, blah. This was before the installation of the taping system,

blah, blah, blah. The real story behind the movie. I guess Elvis wrote a letter to him, which is very funny for him to be like writing Nixon. Like, I want to help combat this world on drugs while he's just like on a ton of pills. The fucking, the best thing about Elvis is,

you know, all later in life, when he's in Vegas, he does all these fucking moves when he comes out on stage. That's karate. Yeah. Because he just liked karate. He's like, I'm going to take from the blacks.

I'm going to take from the Asians. That's the most like American thing is a dude dressed like his fucking bedazzle. Yeah, dude, he was always fucking chopping. It's so silly. I haven't watched the thing. So what, like you're saying he stole shit from other people. Oh, he trained with Bruce Lee.

I'm kidding. That's true, too. I'm kidding. Do we search that up too? What are some things he did, though, that are like, oh, that Elvis created that. Anything? Well, his songwriting, like, he wrote a lot of good songs, but I'm...

I think he created being that kind of an icon. He was the most famous person in the world. He was ever when he was really... Gotcha. Like, into jazz and blues. So he, like, sang with a black community. So he picked up all the shit that they did that you weren't allowed to do. And that's what made it.

Like, he basically... So he just marketed it. He could dance, bro. He could actually dance. He also, he did the emancipation proclamation. He freed the slaves. Also, Elvis was a slave. Yeah.

I guess it's fucking cheesy the way of, like, describe me, but, like, it's how, like, you watch a white guy dance now. And then you watch, like, a fucking, like... White people used to be able to dance. Any other non-white person has, like, rhythm and shit that could do their fucking, like, turn, like, it's the same thing. It's like Justin Timberlake or some shit. It's like...

That's exactly. It's, like, it's a... , it's a... September 8, fucking 50 years ago. It's like, oh, I learned how to fucking do all these moves. Dude, but why people used to be able to dance? They did the whole, like... Yeah, like, swing was pretty... I don't know what happened, but...

Swing, swing had some, like, technique to it. Yeah. They took it away from Elvis, though. Because he was like... If you watch his, like, first television appearance, he's, like, fucking humping the camera. It's, like, so... He went to him. But that's, like, why he's famous,

because no one did that ever. Even, like, at one point, like... And people are going... In that time? Bernie watching him. They weren't a lot to... You weren't a lot to do... They would even shoot him

from his hip up so you wouldn't see his legs because you weren't a lot to move your legs at all. And that's what the colonel did is you made him to stop doing that. He's like, you'll get on mainstream TV more if he just... If he just don't do that. So... That's like his whole thing. And was he right? He was right, but it really...

But he like kind of, he broke... He broke the mesh, dude. Like, he started doing something. Everybody started doing it after. Did Elvis grow rich? No. Let's pull out. What was he said?

No, the emancipation proclamation did not free all slaves in the United States, rather, declared free only the slaves living, not under union control. So technically, the... So, slavery, I think, was probably already legal or illegal in those northern states, but the emancipation proclamation did not free states in the United States. It said

all states that are not under union control have to free their slaves. So I was wrong, but yeah, that's what I was trying to say. It was written, what, during the Civil War? Yeah, but... Because the assumption was, if you were in northern state, you were already free... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but... That's what happened, right? They were already at war? The proclamation changed legal status and more than 3.5 million enslaved African-American. What year? Let's see. Amistide was like 3 years before the Civil War?

What? Amistead was like 3 years before the Civil War? I think so. 1863 is when, yeah. Yeah, so that's during the Civil War. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so what I was saying was very, yeah, so technically it didn't free.

I also got that wrong, too. I said it did have signed that before the Civil War, which is wrong. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought Elvis worked for the DEA. So I have no idea. I watched what episode of drug history. Well, no, no, I thought it was one of those, like, well, there are crooked DA agents. So, like, if you're an informant, you know what I mean?

Like, if you're, if you're, well, that's different. Being a crooked DE agent is different than being Elvis and a DEA agent. But, but where I would defend you is there are like, uh, what are you defending? There are, there are like, there are like. It'll come out later that there's certain informants You'd be like, there's no way that guy was an informant

Yeah, they were so... They didn't say like... They still plugged into the drug girl. They're in the FBI. Like they've been saying for years that Takashi 6-9 was a informant. No way. Like even before he ever got into it.

That's how he didn't go to prison. No, no, but that's after he got charged, but they said like they implemented him there and they're like, oh, let's take out a lot of these people. He's not famous enough. Well, that's, I mean, Elvis was like too famous to have any information about anything. Right.

But I thought they were like, tell us where you get drugs. He's like, I just ask anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, well, I... I'll ask the colonel. That guy just kept them going. In real life, that guy basically just knew how much money was making off Elvis.

Oh, yeah. This guy has as happy as possible. You watch that Mike Tyson thing that just came out? No, good? I didn't know anything about it. Really? Other than like all his convictions and stuff, but I, his, he had that manager, Don King.

Oh, yeah. Don King is like, Colonel Parker on crack. He's fucking, he has a net worth of like $200 million. He's paid like, oh, awful, awful. Like, almost every famous box, you know, he's been their manager at one point and just stolen all of their money. He basically got destroyed. He got destroyed by him because when, um,

Casamato died, that was like his father figure, his coach. He's the best boxing coach at the time and he trained, he basically fathered Mike Tyson. When he died, Don King had complete control of him. That guy would destroy him. It's crazy. He's still alive. He's like 94. Yeah. So that wasn't the manager that Mike Tyson

really respected. No. What was that guy's customato. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this guy like found him as a teenager. Yeah. And like, this guy's going to be, like, basically trained him and said, this guy's going to be the fucking best. And he's already like 18, 19 years old

knocking people out, bro. Yeah. But he was so disciplined because of, because of the coach. Yeah. Did he get like hypnotized or something? Yeah. Everybody, everything I say,

you guys are not taking with a crazy. This is true. Justimaano brought him to a hypnotist to be, and the hypnotist would say shit like, you're a fucking animal. You're a monster. Oh, fuck.

Isn't that crazy? That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That must like kind of fuck you up, though. Oh, I mean, he is so fucked up in the head, Mike Tyson. Everybody's like, he's cool now. I'm like, I guarantee you.

He's dossel now. He also beats a shit of a guy on an airplane like two months ago. That guy, that deserved every minute of it. I agree. Who is that to be the guy who you can beat the fuck out of someone on a plane who's just annoying? Yeah. He's not a terrorist. He's just annoying. What you just spill? What you

spill water on somebody's head? You're getting knocked out, dude. No, no, no. I'm not like, I feel bad. But I'm like, what I'm saying is like, what is going through that guy's mind? He was wasting. He was wasted. What the fuck are you drunk? He's like, I'm gonna be a dickhead. Yeah, he's like, what are you do, punch me in the face? Which I've done that to somebody.

One of my friends, he was going crazy. We were at somebody's house, and he just starts yelling, and he was just hammered, and somebody tackles him in the front yard, and he goes, what are you going to do, punch me while I'm down, and I just fucking just the most pussy move I've ever done, but I just socked him right in the face. And then he ran like

four miles home. I don't know. I was on ketamine, but it was interesting. What would it take for you to full swing, someone in the face? Or as with all your power? Um, well, I, I, I'm really labbing you softballs. I'm trying to get you in the conversation. I'm like registering scenarios right now, you know?

But, uh, I have, I have done that, but, uh, I don't know. I would say, just, I have, it's like a switch maybe, but. Oh, really? Yeah. You've got, you've initiated a fight with, I've never really initiated a fight now. Like defensively. Yeah, but I don't know. I still am a talker, so I'll talk myself into a situation where somebody may want to fight. It's weird because I always grew up. My group of friends, I was always a diffuser.

But I've got a lot of fights. And one thing that my dad told me as a kid was, and I stuck to it because, like, you know what, he's completely right. He's like, if you're in a situation and you can't talk yourself out of the fight, just knock him out. but that doesn't always work it does if you can throw a good punch yeah yeah but if you can't you know what you're doing like I've been in a scenario

I got to the point like I like it was weird it ended situations and his his his logic was how many times have you seen a fight if I start talking shit to you and now you're talking shit to me now our adrenaline is up

and we're like oh I don't know go fuck you so now dude you're getting hit your adrenaline is already at 100% if you were talking like dude like I don't want to do this but if you really want to do this this will be fun I used to say that all the time

and be like you know fuck you like dude I really don't want to fight you but I'm just one more time like you really want to do he's like yeah I'm like all right bah like out

because he's got no adrenaline in right there like if I push him now and getting his fucking heart rate like you're creating a monster like I get that but now you knock him out

he's on the floor fights over like nobody's hurt my very last I do everything have you ever have you ever punch somebody Yes, but only like that, like defensively.

It's always less of... I was swung on first and then I spun. For me, I, yeah, I've never initiated. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's also I, every time I've punched somebody, I've realized how weak I am. So I don't think I could knock somebody out unless I really hit the perfect angle. I got choked out once from punch.

This is right by a... I've never told you a story? You might have you. This is before stand-up. Bosco, which is right next to the comedy shop right now. Yeah, I know. I used to call Thunder Jackson's. I used to manage that place.

That's a fucking name. Thunder Jackson. It was a busy bar. I used to live on top of the apartment right above. That sounds like a black boxer named Thunder Jackson. It was like a urban roadhouse. That was like their... Oh, yeah.

I could have guessed. That's where Elvis learned karate. Yeah. But, um... Dude, like, I wasn't even hooking up with this girl. Like, we're just good friends, but we're walking back up to the apartment. And, like, this is what was annoying about it. This guy, like, fucking walks up right up to her.

Like, we're standing holding pizzas, like, about to go upstairs. I got, like, yo, what's up, girl? Like, just being creepy shit. And she's, like, look at me, like, this guy's serious. And I'm like, yo, dude, walk away. Like, I'm fucking, can't you see him standing right next to her? He's like, dude, I'm not fucking talking to you. I'm like, oh, God.

Keeps trying. And she's like, like, we're, like, going to go upstairs and eat pizza. And like, dude, please fucking, like, I'm not going to ask you again, bro. Like, and now I'm getting ready. Like, I fucking clock. I'm going to knock this. guy out. I even fucking like like I telegraphed

it. Like dude, last one like please walk away. He's like, do what the fuck you're gonna do about it? Boom, fucking knock him out. Now through my adrenaline is so high I'm fucking jumping on top of him and fucking beat the fuck out of him. And somebody grabs me in the headlock and I'm like, ah. I don't know where. Did you see who was?

Dude, like he got me. Like I, from all my background like training and shit like I went like that and I like, I actually tapped and he let me go. It was the same guy. No, it was a guy that didn't want me to beat the fuck at this guy. Like, I fucking knock him. I knocked him out.

Did you see the guy choking you? Oh, I was out. Like, I knew I was out. Like, right when he, like, boom, I'm fucking jumping on top of him. But I'm saying, did you see the guy beforehand or is just out of the blue? It turned into like, there's like six, seven people around watching this because I do get the fuck out of here. Oh. That would be very confusing if it was just you and that other guy in the hallway.

And then all of a sudden there's another arm around your neck. You're like, who is this now? But it's hilarious, dude, I tapped. He actually let me go. Yeah. And I turn around. Like, nice choke. I'm good

You fucking pussy You fucking pussy Get out of you You fucking piece of shit Yeah You're managing this bar Yeah And you

That was my day off Yeah I wasn't even there Like I wasn't even coming from there I wasn't there at all that day We were getting pizza at bends And we were hanging out the grizzly pair I think

And fucking Yeah annoying Did I even managing that bar It was like It was like fucking roadhouse Yeah but I'm just saying Like if you're managing that bar

And a dude choked Oh, he had no idea I worked there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. It's pretty crazy. I got a lot of crazy fights I have in that bar, like even with three security guards.

Yeah, I don't, I don't like shit like that. I'll try to just, if you or walk away, I don't, you know. The worst advice I ever got, I used to work out at this gym, and the guy told me one day he goes, never back down from a fight in any circumstance. He walked up to you and said that. No, no, no, no, no. He was like, my train. He walked away.

He's like, you're on your own. Never back down. down from a fight. And I'm like, that is the worst. What a guy has a knife? He goes, never back down. I'm like, I think there's certain scenarios where you should back down from a fight. The guy calls you a pussy. You're just not supposed to you put a bag. You see that guy with a fucking

axe in McDonald's? What? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's awful, dude. Did he hack somebody up? He was hacking everything in McDonald's, like, breaking shit. And then at one point, like four guys were holding him down. He's got the hammer of the fucking axe. But when they're punching him in the back of head, he doesn't give a fuck.

And they're like, oh, that was a mistake. and everybody just starts taking off and dude he starts fucking chopping shit awful. And then he left like, and then he left to work. Like he was his, he was on a day shift.

Damn. He's checking into the office. How's it going, Rita? Just puts like an axe on the table. He fucking, like, man, I should have learned Cromagaw. The one I was thinking it was crazy was, there was this dude.

I totally forgot how crazy this was. I feel like there's wild shit that happens and you don't realize it's crazy to somebody else explains it. There's a fraternity house next to us when I went to FSU and one of the kids there went crazy and stabbed two people

and ate a woman's two people's faces off with Jupiter floors No, no, no, not Bass salts. So they thought Miami, didn't know. They thought it was the same thing because some guy,

some homeless guy did Bass Salt to Miami, right? And ate somebody's face off. When you say like, when you say like ate someone's face off, do you mean like took a nice bite or like ate the whole? Apparently they were like he was really chewing on chunks of the people's face.

That's a good question. That is a, that makes a lot of. Yeah, apparently they were like, they had to take like DNA samples out of his teeth. Holy sure. It was like really bad. But then I looked up apparently, so he wasn't on any drugs. I think trial's coming up soon.

So, you know, tune in to your local, or if you live in Florida, I guess. Your local news station. If you're in New York, we're not even talking about it. Where was your frat house close to Doe Campbell? I was in the Heritage Grove, which was like the community of frat houses. So yeah, I was kind of by the stadium, yeah. My roommate in college, he went to Tampa Jesuit. His sister was a cheerleader forever few.

So we would get good tickets. Oh, yeah, yeah. Spring Hill College had no football team where I went to school. Yeah, yeah. So when it wasn't baseball season, it was football season, fucking weekends off. Oh, FisG games are a blast. We would drive, we would get the weekends off.

We would fucking, dude, awesome. Florida State is one of the best party towns ever. Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guthrie's. Oh, got threes is great. Yeah, yeah. Tastes better than man's face.

The gutbox, dude, it's like over a thousand calories of just chicken fingers with his honey mustard sauce and french fries. Yeah. The best drunk. Did I ate? I ate three boxes one night. I didn't realize how waste it. I get more munchies drinking.

I didn't know who it was And there's so much food These guys got home They're like yo Where's my fucking Goodbox? Like I hate it They're like awful

Yeah it's literally like fried chicken A bunch of French fries and other shit What about the Cuban place? Gordoes Gordoes Dude best party ever After the game People

Yeah The other thing called the Gordoes smash Where it's just like Yeah Yeah It's like a smash Yeah it's like a punch With just like a bunch of shit in it

Ice But yeah The man who ate somebody's face I'm sorry I don't want to get off of there But I looked it up You made me hungry That's why I thought

Yeah You're like He's up with a face talking I haven't had lunch yet But he Yeah I guess he like Was not on any drugs Just went out of his mind

And apparently he's making like Animal noises And there's a form of psychosis That's labeled I forgot what it's called But it's literally a technical thing Where you think you're a wolf Like that's part of the delusion

Defense he's bringing to court I don't know I mean I genuinely thought I was a wolf. I mean, it was a, there the moonlight was out. Your honor. Let's not be silly here. Everybody here has thought they were a wolf.

That will be the evidence. He's probably got a real technical thing, or is that just like one psychiatrist made it up? From info? Yeah, Alex Joseph said about it. You know, I went to high school. A kid on my soccer team thought he was a wolf. Dude, he probably had this.

But it didn't affect his soccer play? No, no. Was you like air bud? like he was this little kid from the trailer parks and he had a beard but no hair and he thought he would shave his head and he thought he was like a wolf yeah he thought he was a wolf

and I remember we had a team bond we had this guy's mom made spaghetti and he showed up and someone was like yo it's a full moon today and the guy just freaked down and ran off what the fuck he thought he was a wolf

Was he cool or was he like a weird? No, he's not cool. You hear the story. No one's like, oh, look, it's jazz. The cool wolf guy. You see him walking by? Like, what's up? How's it going, bitch?

That might be something in Ohio, Florida. I'll eat your pussy. His mom brings the spaghetti. He's like, I made spaghetti for the team. And he's like, did he play basketball? No, no, no. He made wolf spaghetti. Teen wolf.

Yeah, he was on the Jay. He was on the Jay. Michael J. Did you ever talk to him? Have a conversation? Yeah, man, he was like on my soccer team. So how often was it like a werewolf thing where he's like, listen, I'm cool now, but you know, if shit hits the family. No, full moon, like, don't even talk to me.

So what to be that matter of fact about it? Like, listen, yeah, I'll be great for this job. I think I could sit at a desk for a while. I'll greet the customers. Only downside is that there is a full moon. I think I'm a wolf and I will probably attack everybody in this. off. You'll, you even phrase it that way, I think I'm a wolf. Yeah. I don't know for sure. I black out, but from everybody around me, what I hear is that I turn into a wolf. So just, you know, be on the, to me, like in Ohio, Florida, Bonn, I don't know about Long Island is like one out of every 10 people you'd be around and are just out of their minds. Just, I mean, I thought it was a, I thought it was a bobcat in eighth grade.

A bobcat. Bobcat. Fuck. You so, this is a weird story. Wait, what? Let's get into this. I just hate that up. Okay, okay, okay. I thought you were being awfully quiet on the wolf talk. You're like, yeah, that's crazy, right? Yeah, that would be nuts. I thought I was a bonkette.

That's different, though. For like, for like four minutes, when he's saying the story, I was like, man, what animal could I have been? I thought of lying, tiger. I was like, bear cat, dolphin. What was his mom's response to him being the wolf? Was she like, not again, Darrell?

Or was she like, this is what he does? She made him play soccer. She's like, he'll figure it out. Yeah. You figure it out. I only met his parents a couple times. They were like from a trailer park. And this all adds up.

Now that I'm looking back, I'm pretty sure they're on meth. Yeah. It just had that vibe. I wasn't, I couldn't read that back in the day. She was a werewolf too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like true blood. It's called a clinical lichenotrop.

How do you spell? Lichen? Really? No way. Yeah. Lichentthropy. Yeah. Which is wolf.

Lichen. Likympthia, I guess. Yeah. culture, let's see, background described within patience. All the vampire movies, werewolves are likens.

I guess that is what a werewolf is. Then wherewolves are real. They just don't, they don't change, but that's, if you tell a guy it's a full moon,

he'll fucking freak out. Yeah, yeah. Be a wolf. How much real it does it get? I also think there's something with, what's it called, like,

seasonal changes that does drive people crazy. Like, that's a thing. is a little bit different. It was crazy. I had this talk to the idea with, um, and it's funny because it had nothing to do with crazy

full moon shit, but is, because one of my Indian friends is religion with the fucking with, the moon and shit. Now that the fucking earth is spinning faster, it's affecting fucking lunar spheres. So like that's like affecting like when you celebrate certain things.

That's what we, we mean, him we're talking about, but my point of view is like, do like, who's your other Indian friend, Gabe. He's not cool. like, you know the, you guys like, look at the moon. The reason I've set in this because it had to do with his religion, dude. But, oh, yeah, like, certain settings

of the moon, we celebrate certain holidays. I was like, for me, it's like, dude, like, now you're not going to be able to know when fucking somebody goes crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you, like, when I, dude, you usually can tell it's a full moon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody's, like, most people are acting fucking weird. Like, everything's kind of off. I'm thinking, like, now with this, with the lunar cycle's all distorted, like, it's going to happen, like, four days before the fucking full moon. Like, oh my God, this guy's acting crazy.

Yeah. Like, and I really believe, people, people act, like, I don't people don't believe in astrology and shit,

but I do believe in fucking the energy kind of affects your energy. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Jake and I feel differently. But, no,

I totally agree with that. I'm not, I'm not fully, I don't know how. Could you have any, uh, any, like,

I don't know, logic to back it up? Like beyond, like the fucking. Like nights that I, for example, like nights that I've, either,

bartending or whatever my life is like mainly, it's been mainly bartending the last 20 years. I've usually been able to say like, dude, it's tonight of full moon and then I fucking search him like, wow. And I've almost gotten it right. Like, I'm not exaggerating. I would say like 80% right.

I'm like, dude, or like I'm a day off. I wonder if, so one thing that is true, I know, I don't know how all this relates, but I did have a friend of schizophrenia and when the seasons would change, that's when he would go fucking crazy. It would be like a weird thing. I honestly, thank God. I think we're all connected to everything, bro.

Does the moon have anything to do with seasons now? It's part of the gravity of the earth, and it's part of the gravity of the sun. Like the tides go off the moon. Yeah, but I think a lot of what that could be, like, if a schizophrenic person, like, react to the change of season, it's not just like the sensation of the weather being different. It's like everyone is dressed differently.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone looks different. People talk to each other differently. Pumpkins, he's like, what's the fuck's going on with that? Well, if you look at like... Pumpkin-spiced latte, so we drove him off the rails. Look at like your biology, but, like, like fucking cells and atoms and like

that's the same thing as fucking planet's to me bro so I'm thinking like if that shit's spinning faster that's almost like your bloodstream going fucking faster it's going to affect your fucking mood it's going to affect the mood of the universe dude the universe is a person yeah he goes I picture him just he should go to McDonald's like we don't do the share mark

shake anymore he just goes fucking nuts I'm a wolf that's where it comes from yeah I mean but even it does affect the tides you know the term lunatic comes from fucking being crazy during lunar cycles. I did not know that.

That's interesting. I just think what's so ingrained, like, human beings were just, like, basing their behaviors off of one, a couple of things. It's just, like, ingrained into it. Yeah. We're just image and image of ideas and memories of consciousness that you're fucking backing into your subconscious

into a fucking rolodex of the whole world's subconscious, dude. Did you say Lunar tick before? Lunatic. Lunatic, yeah. Like, that guy's a lunatic. Lunatic. That comes from lunar. It's the root word is lunar.

Luna. I thought you said lunar. Like lunar tick. I was like, that's not the word. Those are, those are ticks in from the moon. Yeah,

right that down. That's a good one. Like, don't, don't take your, don't take your dog. They got lunar ticks. They get lunar ticks,

dude. My God. Would you, would you go to space? Oh. Yeah. Now you're doing the thing I was doing where you're trying to keep

the conversation going so you throw something out there like that would you go to space? Would you go to space? He's like, we did the moon. Yeah. I've had a dream twice

that I got on a spaceship. Yeah. It's scary as fuck. You had a dream you were in space? I've had a dream twice that I got to ride a spaceship and be in fucking space and it was scary.

But it was like, like man, what does this thing fucking be doing? You got some cool dreams. I have weird. Dude, I have... Yeah, I'm kind of...

I'm kind of blessed. Mine are all in like my family's and my family's involved. I'm kind of blessed with my dreams, dude. Spiraling. Like, I can, I can remember them in color and everything. Dude, it's crazy. And you were supposed to most people dream black and white.

Wait, really? A lot of people, Google that. Most people dream black and white. Minor, color, yeah, minor and color. I would say like. It's a high percentage of people that, I want to say more than 75%. Yeah. Do you have, when you think, do you have like an inner monologue?

12% of your thoughts? Do you know a lot of people just don't have that? That's crazy. They just picture the words. Really? They don't have, like, they don't hear a voice in their head. Most people don't hear that. Oh, sometimes I can imagine having the conversation with somebody and, like, I can hear both the words.

Yeah. You just, that's how most people think. Yeah. Wow. It's either, I guess it's most people think that way. Oh, I'll check it. Is it 12% of people dream black and white? What?

It says 12% of people dream black and white. You guys believe that dreams are like a reflection. your side sucks. What you're thinking about right now. Yeah, I think it's more a reflection of like what you're feeling. Like there's a lot to learn from your dreams. It's more about like if you're anxious,

you'll have like a crazy anxiety story. But the story isn't as important as like... But you've got to read into it and figure out what components of that are actually... 40% dream colors. Oh, okay. These stats are off. Do you have like a dream journal?

His stats are completely different. No, my... From Google. my mom's friend writes down every one of her dreams I think your psychology like everything you're going through

in life is a combination of your dreams like in pieces that you start just like you said if you have anxiety or you have a fear or something's bothering you

it's gonna kind of come out on your dreams or not even fears like fantasies goals life like things that you want will start coming on your dreams yeah

yeah I have that but my mind's like very like it's very obvious what's happening it's like I'll I'll worry about an audition coming up or something like that and then that's happening.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, but one time I did, more cryptic, but yeah. I did look up, uh, oh,

I'm sorry, I'm more complex than that. No, I, yeah, you're afraid of bowling. Yeah, yeah,

he's like, it's a metaphor for, uh, for losing a piece of myself. I'm saying that was, that was the fucking, I was like, oh shit,

this is, it's all going bad, but go ahead, go ahead. No, I'd like a dream. Let's hear about your, uh,

little thing. I had a dream there was like a giant, there's a whale in my pool, and then there's this website called Dream Moods, and you can look up specific dreams, and every dream you've had, people have had. Like, it's crazy how, like, a lot of people have dreams

that there's a giant whale in their pool. And it's like it feels like your problems are bigger than something that can handle them. You know what I mean? Something dumb like that. Have you fucked a dead person in a dream? No. I have not.

Me neither. I have in real life, but that's... Talk about how all your dreams are, like, pleasant. Or a dead animal. I mean, the more you, the more I've never had that Bobcat thing is real.

What? The Bobcat thing. Dude, that's what the girl's called me. The Bobcat. The bobcat. Brar. The petting your head.

Gabe the Bobcat Dorado. Jesus Christ. We're also, we got, we unfortunately got to finish up soon here. What do you guys want to promote? Started, starting with Jake.

Just whatever. You have such a lack of enthusiasm for life sometimes. Was this a good episode? I had a blast. What's this a good episode? Yeah, thanks for showing up. Nikiel's here, by the way. He's like, if this is a good episode,

you're like, this podcast must suck. Is that what you're saying? No, no, I'm just curious. I want to ask this question. I know you have before, but have you ever eating shrooms on stage? No, no. I haven't done shrooms in years.

I finally, I've done it a bunch of times, I finally had like a bad one on stage. And it's crazy because watching the tape I actually was a decent set because it wasn't what I was going through in my head. But I remember I was doing well. And I don't know where like the same thing happens when you're on fucking and I realized oh fuck I'm fucked up. Like one of the

like this girl wasn't laughing that hard but she just had this weird smile. So that's the only thing that kept taking my attention. And like dude people are dying of laughter. And I just start turning around. What's your problem? Yeah. It's like, what? And I like, ugh. And I realized right there,

I was like, man, I'm fucked up. Yeah. You're like, is that woman gonna kill me? You're just thinking a weird thing. I like the idea of doing bad crowd work on shrooms. You're like, Abraham Lincoln's sitting in the front row. They're like, what? Looks like you're from the Brady.

That's a guy from the Brady bunches. Like I'm blonde. Every time I've done shrooms on stage, I make sure to watch it. I'll, like, record it on video and watch it. And it's usually better than I think it's. 100% because it's all in your head. Yeah, but then it was one time where I thought I, like, demolished.

I thought I had the greatest set of my life. Watch the video. No laughs, and I'm sweating like I'm on ecstasy. Wrenched and sweat. And I'm laughing at, like, not the jokes. Like, I'm laughing at the premise. Like, hey, ha, ha, ha. That's fucking funny.

If you're laughing so hard, you think you crushed, because you're like, yeah, this is awesome. He's like, yeah. Dude, I... You didn't say one word. You just giggled for... I'm so slow moving that I can't do... I can drink a little bit before I go.

I can't... I've smoked weed before I went up and I literally didn't say anything for like... I can't say a joke for like... I can't really drink. I have a beer the whole night and then after... onto my last set, I'll start drinking, but... Yeah.

You get sloppy, bro. You start repeating shit. Yeah, yeah. Start forgetting. Everything's fragmented. Yeah, I agree. So nothing you want to promote. You're not excited about anything. You hate...

You hate yourself. I'm just kidding. All right. Nikiel, what do you want to promote? Baldess. Yeah. I don't have much. Elvis movie on HBO Max.

Yeah, go see it. You'll catch all of us at the Grizzly Pear at the Comedy Club. Yes. And hopefully the new one opening soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Supposedly mid-October. They haven't given us an exact date, but...

Yeah, I've always known. That takes a while. There's lots of weird licensing and stuff like that. They got everything except for the fire department. The fire marshal has to approve of the plans. That's it. Yeah. Okay, sweet.

It looks fucking sick. I walked by yesterday. It looks fucking awesome. Yeah, it looks fucking sweet. It's going to be dope, dude. Oh, your social media handles, if you guys want. Cuban is funny? My first name underscore my last name, the number two.

Nikiel underscore Mephtha number two. And I'm sure they didn't know how to spell that. Yeah. You don't want to say with the Google. Who's the person that's on the podcast? No, no. in the description. Jake Timothy, you want to promote? What's your Instagram? Jake Timothy. Okay, thank you guys.