Morning Good - I'm Nobody's Exception - Episode 97

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Thanks to Jessica for coming back on the show and to Ben for joining us for the first time. Make sure you follow both of these very funny people at their links below.Jessica is on IG @jlevcomedy and Ben is also on IG @benfrankcomedy. Ben has a full album out right now about living in China called "Goodbye Shanghai", so check that out as well.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. All right. We're starting. Switch topics. I also, I got fucking zero sleep last night. I was telling him. Do you ever take Adderall?

Fuck yeah, I do. I was just to Florida. I bought them those things like their vitamins. If you said you had never taken Adderall, I would have been more shocked. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah, I've taken that shit. Yeah, that would be, yeah.

Because you already have such high energy. So some people are different. Some people take Adderall that are high energy like me. And I don't become more high energy. I come robotic, but serious and kind of angry. Oh, like too much cocaine at the end of the night kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah. Like, not like a fun.

You're like, when a beach ball gets deflated, man. You know, you get to the serious part of the night of cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, that's like me with Adderall. Like, I don't get like... Oh, dude, that's a bummer. So what happens when you take Adderall?

Because you're already high energy. I'm just more focused and wired. Right, okay. But you're just as energetic. I'm just as energetic. Oh, by the way, we're here with Ben Frank. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah, what's up? And Jess, the last name's changed. Yeah, I know. I'm back to... I'm in my original kid. I know it's being a tool. I was trying shit out. It's just like 11, my birth name.

Okay. name. Yeah. Jessica and Mary Magdalene Levin. Really? Yeah. That's my confirmation name. I'm not Jewish. Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. Oh, you're not... No, everyone thinks I'm Jewish. It's been a struggle. It's been a struggle. I'm not Jewish. You know, when those guys walk up and say, are you Jewish? Do you get...

Do they only did it to men or do they do it for women also? One guy, Dave, one guy has approached me and I... Because I get it. I've told him off. I think... Yeah, you told them off. I'm like, no, not fucking Jewish. No, no. How dare you? They came out to me. They're like, excuse me, would you like... I'm like, fuck you. I'm not wearing a wig.

I'm not shaving my head. I'm not having sex with you. You are so ugly. I went off on it. I'm like, you're so ugly. You're so ugly. Look at you.

Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. The way they treat women in that fucking culture, fuck you. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say.

They don't, like, like, the... Like, I pointed to Ben, I was like, in a Jewish take on it. I knew she was going to come with this. That's why I had you on.

Oh, okay. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah. You cornered me with Jew talk. Yeah. Like, it was all the plan. Anyway, so they should die. No, but I'm actually, I was curious to know whether they've come up to you because just in general, like, for example, at services and stuff, the men and women are all separated and they have very strict rules about them interacting.

So I don't know if it would be against their rules to even approach a strange woman to. And by the way, just for the eye says, no, this is a Hasidic Jewish. Yeah, it's like Jewish. No, not the regular rich ones that control the weather. Right, because in general, besides them, other types of, you. of Jews really don't evangelize. No, they're probably trying to create more because I bet you a lot of bitches are like, you remember that doc?

There was a dog that came out about it, man. About the people that left. Trying to leave, yeah. Yeah. Especially as a woman trying to get out is like impot. They schedule the rapings. It's ridiculous. It's like, you know that it's coming.

You're like, Tuesday's coming in. Is that what Amish is like to? No, I think Amish are chiller, dude. Really? I don't know. If you leave, you get shunned by. You get shunned, but I mean, I don't think, I mean, I don't know the culture, but I mean, years back, I know, because I live down PA,

The one, some got busted for some blow. I think there's a lot. You know how much money they make off that shit, the quilts and stuff? Those people are not fucking around, man. Could you imagine? Well, but the Amish also have like the rum springer to like actually give you the opportunity when you are maturing to actually decide if you want to leave. Not everybody does it though.

Right, not everybody does it. No, but they give them the choice. You don't get that with the cynics. Right. Oh, yeah. Well, then you get the shakers and then we're getting all just like, I think, but the Amish ones that I seen. Is that what you call the butter turners? Those are, no, butter churners are all them.

It's like a slur, a shaker. I know, but no, shakers are like in from Indiana and shit. I think they're like a hardcore sect of Amish people. Okay. Because then you got honest people that are like, you know, they wear their paper machet outfits, but they're still at Walmart and shit. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're still amongst the peeps. You know what I mean? Yeah, because I guess it is like, I guess the debate of what is technology is tough because then you could be like, okay, this is technology. Yeah, like a hammer. Yeah, yeah, it is technology. You know what is, you mean? That is a form of technology, you know?

But I just, you know, they maybe have a year cut off. They're like, all right, anything from post 19th century. Yeah, yeah. Well, but it's weird because, like, Hasidic Jews with, like, Shabbat and everything. Yeah, it's not, it's not even just, like, technology. It's like, you can't do anything that involves labor. Yeah. And the weird which they define in the dark labor is that, like,

you can't even, like, tear toilet paper off of the roll. So the toilet paper has to be pre-ripped. The toilet paper that you use on Shabbat has to be, like, pre-ripped. Damn. Don't lie, they're not cleaning themselves. They're shitting in their man Disgusting people Is you really coming in with a

Oh dude It's a bother me They're they are They're the mob Let's just call what it is They're the mob They run shit Look at you getting uncomfortable

I don't know I am I am Because that's a host I'm like where am I going They're the mob Anyway But yeah So I'm not Jewish

That's what we came back I'm not Jewish Yeah no I just always assumed With Levin A lot of people do That you My best friends

What about Levine? Is Levine different than Levin? Yeah, there's an E at the end of it. Well, I know that. Yeah, Levins are usually Jewish, but there are, there are Levines that are not Jewish. Yeah, there's, I mean, is Adam Levine Jewish. I think he is. His mom's at the Y. Oh, okay. His mom's at the Y?

The 90th Street Y, dude. Wait, do you know her? Christian, though? I know. The JCC is Jewish. That's, the 92nd Street Y. I think it's upper east side, bro. Wait, what I'm saying the YMC is the young men's, right? You're saying the people who frequent the Y are Jewish.

They go to the Jewish one. Yeah. That's a big Jewish one. I've never even seen a YMC in New York City. No, dude, they're everywhere, bro. I also, I don't, I just go running. I live in this little East Village. I feel like uptown and like in Harlem, you see.

No, I got McQueen. I live in the Sunnyside. I was, no, fuck that. I wouldn't join one. They had a pool. Oh, right. Oh, I saw. There is one on Bowery.

Like Bowery and House. Yeah, there's a bunch of nice ones here, man. Especially in the city. Forget about it. I live near one. I totally join one. The only thing that sucks is like when you start doing the pool, you get these old women that just stand in the, like, the lane. And you're like, bitches, this is not, like, you're not coming along to sit and, yeah, and gossip.

This is for me to, like. There was one by me in Florida that I'd go to. And the old people there are just, your brains are not in their heads. You know what I mean? There's too much sunshine and they're old. Yeah, I bet you, dude. Yeah, they're just sitting on the machine forever. I just got back from Florida.

Lovely time. Yeah, okay, you went to Jacksonville, right? Yeah, I went to Jacksonville. Wait, I want to hold that thought. Cocaine Jewish guy. Where did that happen? Amish. Cocaine Jewish. Oh, no, cocaine Amish people.

So I don't know what exactly the particulars were, but I remember in, I'll say it correctly, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, big Amish. Lancaster. Lancaster. Big Amish population. Big Amish. Cool little thing. They have outlets out there and everything.

And these guys, these peeps got busted dealing cocaine. I don't know what the hell the whole thing was. It's not technology to be fair. They're using one of those scales, like where they're putting like rocks on them. One kid, maybe, I don't know, I don't know, that got, you know, defected. I have no clue. I don't know how it happened, but they were dealing blow. Well, can you drink in, if you're Amish?

You know, good point. I don't think they do, but I don't really know. The only other Amish thing I know about is they forget. Dude, first off, you got to give Amish props. They forgave the guy that came in the shooter. Remember the mass shooter that killed their little school? No. Oh, a shooter came in and shot up a whole Amish school children.

He wasn't Amish, though, right? No, he was an outsider. and no, he was an outsider, and they forgave him. They wrote a whole ball, they forgave him. Oh, shit. I mean, that's some strength. So I give Amish props. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was a blind one that lived in Lancaster. Yeah. Yeah, Lagaster. That's easy, though, because he's not, like, seen an iPhone. For him, he's like, yeah. Yeah, I've got a little, yeah. Amish, I give him a shout out. I don't mind them charging $500 for fucking, you know, they put up a house in a day.

They don't fuck around, man. Yeah. That is also impressive building, because isn't that their thing they, like, building a lot? Oh, dude, they build, they craft, they do all sorts of shit. But just without power drills. Without power drills, dude. I've seen, you know that Harrison Ford movie? Witness.

Witness. Yeah. That's a great Amish movie. You see the Amish boobs. Oh, really? Yeah, you see Kelly Margulies, I think her name is. Kelly McGillis. McGillis.

Good job, Ben. High five, bro. You fucking know your shit. That's kind of hot to me. I watch Mormon porn sometimes. I'm like, ooh, that's wrong. You watch Mormon porn, really? Oh, yeah.

You know, I've seen it. The Gang Bang one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something hot to that. I guarantee you. But it's like slightly like, it's like, these are the rules. Yeah. It's not.

It's erotic. I got what you're saying, dude. I got what you're saying, that like, I know what you mean. The ritual, like, I don't know. It's something weird. It's some true detective first season shit involved there. Yes. But not with the elephant horns or the horns and all that weird shit.

I think I only saw some of the second season. Oh, do you never saw the first season? No, the first one's way better, though. The first one's, the, the, the, the... Yeah, everybody says they hated the second season. Don't fuck with the second season. I did like Vince Vaughn, what I saw in the second season. But, I mean, that's...

I like him in everything. First season, dude. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's the reason why Nick Pizzle, whatever the fuck is getting away with the shit he's getting away with because that's second season.

The creator and the writer, Nick Pizzle-Loddy. The first season was in me as... No, the second season he wrote and did and sucked. The first season is incredible. Yeah. Watch the first season. But he got away with,

is he like... Well, he got... They're giving him a third season after the fucking horribleness of the second season. I don't know what the hell. Oh, I thought you were saying he like... Oh, there was a third season.

I don't know what you say like Hollywood writer director. You're like, he's getting away with shit. You're like, oh, no, I don't mean that. I'm sorry. I like that in your mind, you're like, no, the real crimes. He made a bad second season. He's making a bad fucking movie.

Dude, I saw a bad movie last night, too. What did you see? This movie called The Lost Daughter. Maggie Gyllenhaal fucked that whole entire thing up. I'm just going to say it. She directed and wrote it and everyone's like, it's amazing. It sucks. Don't want it.

It's horrible. Yeah. It was horrible. I don't really love her. I didn't really like here in Dark Night. I don't think anyone has a middle of the road opinion on Maggie Gillenhall. Oh, really? Yeah.

I didn't know that, man. No, I just feel like everyone's either like a big, like, Maggie Jillenhall, like, Apologist or Defender, they're like, God, she sucks. I didn't even know that was a culture of that, dude. People hate Maggie Gillenall. She just said whatever. But the worst person in the world, great film. Saw that too.

Saw it on my Delta flights. Shout out the Delta. It's called the worst person. Oh, at first I thought you were calling Maggie Jolenaal the worst. No. No, worst person in the world was the movie. I saw going to Florida. Awesome film.

Coming back from Florida was The Lost Daughter. Are you, are you an airplane drinker? I think my favorite place to drink alcohol is on an airplane. Either that or at an airport bar. Something's so cozy about it. Love airport bar. Because you feel productive? You're like, I'm waiting on somebody else to get their shit done. Well, like the plane's like arriving. And you're like, I could drink

because I'm waiting on. Also, any decorum in terms of time of day just goes out the window. Oh, yeah. Dude, I went one time and they gave me, they're like, I got a beer at like, I think it was like 9 a.m. And they're like, we could put this in a coffee cup for you. Is that all right? And I was like, yeah, they can't appreciate it. That is so funny. There's like shame involved with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna brown bag it. Give me a brown bag like I'm on a stoop. No, I, I gotta say, it was wicked early when I was going down there. And I wasn't, I was still off the hang, you know, I was still good. Yeah. I didn't need it. So you arrived drunk.

Kind of sort of. Yeah. But the, depending on when I leave. So if I'm leaving at like, you know, in the afternoon, fuck yeah, I'm doing a cocktail at the bar. I'll get there early. I like it. People knock me. I like getting into the airport or a lot.

Oh, yeah. I know I'm a big early airport person. I don't want to fuck with the thing. And I'm also a freak out every time I go on TSA line because I'm always paranoid. I left the bag. Same. Always pernard. Like, did I take everything out? Did I put anything in while I was down there? Oh, yeah. Also, because years ago, I had a boss I traveled with who, like, notoriously was always late to the airport. At the same time, since he traveled all the time, he had high status on, like, every airline.

So he could cut things close and then just cut the line. That's awesome. Like, one time we were in Hong Kong, we were flying out, and it was a, it was an international flight without Hong Kong, because basically every flight is. And then I think we got to the airport. 40 minutes before the flight was taking off. Jesus. And we got through checking our bags, going through immigration,

going through security, and getting to the gate. For an international flight, 40 minutes is fucking nuts. It was nuts. But he was not panicking the whole time, but he's like, this is going to be fine.

We didn't even like run to the gate or anything. We just casually strolled up. So, yeah, that just kind of stress me out so much. That would stress me the fuck out. Yeah, no, I don't like stressing, and I was paranoid too because I had Cubans with me and I don't know why that freaks me out

I was like... Well, it depends because there's such a wide range of color with Cuban people because there are like dark Cuban people and there's... No, I'm not like Cuban cigars but that's what you said.

Like I kept like a bunch of Cuban dudes in my bag. It's like, you know what I'm taking you back to New York with me buddy? You're going to Florida. Is it like the cigar? Are you talking about the cigars? The people.

Yeah, no. I'm talking about the cigars. I'm not even kidding. I wasn't even trying to be silly. I genuinely thought you were like, I was traveling with brown people. No, I just thought they were, you're like, and they were, you're like, and they were, you're like, and they were, you're like, and they were, you're like, and they were, you're like, I was too amped up in the airport. And I know, and I stopped. I forgot. I left one in my bag. Yeah. He's crying and I'm like, Emilio will wait. And I got like, they went to Jacksonville, not Miami.

There's tons of them there, dude. There's there. They're in, uh, there's Venezuelans there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bunch of different. Yeah. Yeah. But Jacksonville, I feel like people were like, I even was that person first when I was like, friends are like, come down and visit us. I'm like, fucking Jacksonville. What the fuck you do in Jacksonville? Reputation-wise, Jacksonville sounds disgusting. Everybody's like, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty awesome. Went there a few years ago with family, went to Amelia Island.

Yeah. Yeah, it was great. So, dude, if you go- People realize the whole state is beaches. Like, the whole thing. The whole fucking thing. Like, I'm not partying in downtown Jacksonville. Yeah, for sure. I went to what's area called Jacks Beach, Neptune Beach. Yeah. And I went to all this, I did a spot at this fucking, I don't even know, green, something.

I don't know what the town was called. It was like 35 minutes south of Jacksonville. Was it fun? It was great. It was fucking great. What was demographic? Dude, cross rednecks to like retirees that it's because it's starting to it's starting to explode there, dude, because.

The real estate, my parents sold their house. I'm like, sort of my mom in Naples. If they would have held off on that, they probably could have like made some fucking bank. Dude, it was insane. My mom sold her crib condo in Naples. Made tons of money on that fucking thing. My parents had like trouble selling the house because like nobody's wanted to buy it. And then I'm like, oh, you could have

just waited like a year and then it would have my mom got cash, cash and like the people didn't even come down and see it. They bought it off the internet. Wait, they bought cash? Cash. Damn. Yeah. Wait, they bought cash off the internet. I don't even know. They sent cash through the internet. It was just like they faxed a bunch of cash.

They faxed a bunch of bills. My mom ironed them. It got crazy. But no, it was really, that's badass. But no, she did really well. What I'm saying to you is that there's like a cross, like it's just getting a lot of influx of people. So it's like, you know, everyone goes to Miami. They all go to, you know, Orlando. They go to Tampa. But like St. Augustine pretty, it's like one of the oldest.

It's pretty, it's awesome. And it's like in the line of going down. And it's really great. And it's not, I was down the Fourth of July weekend. It wasn't crazy. Like, we saw fireworks in my friend's dad's house who's like right on the water and we watched during the bridge. No one in front of us. I'm looking at pictures here.

all these goons, you're all smushed up to see a dot in the sky that you can see better at home. I'll also say this. Did you see fireworks this year? So I didn't go to see the fireworks, but I had some family in town that they were in a hotel room and we could actually see some of the fireworks from their hotel rooms. Some? Yeah. Yeah. So what? You got a little, like not like all though and it's glory. No, no. Well, I was up in the glory. But we were in air condition. I will say this. That's a plus. That's a win and a bathroom.

Yeah. Air conditioning and a bathroom. It was not crowded to see the fireworks. For where are you? We went to Eastbrook, We went where the display was this year. Oh, yeah,

because you're right. Yeah. People were not like, I feel like it's one of those things that like now because. Storya was fucking nuts. Oh, really? From what I heard.

That's because I think you have more like working club. I think this is East Village so people are like, I don't want to celebrate 4th, it's a lot. You don't need to go. They don't want to the Hamptons.

Yeah. That's a good call. I never thought about that way. All right. They either way to the Hamptons or the ones that are here are more like hipstery and they're like, I feel like hipsters don't really get Yeah, they're all like, fuck America

It's like, this is the land, stolen land holiday And they're all like, you know, drinking shit and fireworks are bad for the entire. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Okay, I feel you. Or they'll be like, yeah, this is scares dogs because the fireworks and- Right, muffles would be upset

or they're, you know, rich cunts and they went to the Hampton. So yeah, I see what you're saying. No, from what I heard, I wanted to go to D.C. Because I think D.C. would be cool for 4th July. Yeah, it's probably on crack. I'd say New England. Boston.

Yeah. Oh, dude. I've been up there for 4th July. It is freaking stupid. They get bananas for that. And then you're in New England and you're with salty people and it's awesome. I feel like you'd fit in very well. I'm from that area.

I feel like you'd fit in. Are you? Yeah. My brother lived in Swampscott. Oh, okay. Yeah. Swamp Scott. Yeah.

Which even if you didn't know that was in Massachusetts, you would know it's in Massachusetts as soon as you. They're very cunty people. I like them. I really do. They're salty. They're all right on your wave line. Yeah, I really do love them. I know.

But those people, see, because working class gets into Fourth of July. Oh, yeah. I feel like, that's like a thing. Well, I also like, to be fair, I mean, the South also loves Ford. Like, that they get into. Yeah, they do.

I got to say, there's some Florida peeps, though, they were all getting fucking the big merit. Oh, revved up, yeah. The flags were getting caught up in their bikes when they're riding their bikes. It was getting, they got all American up.

But it was, but like I say, my friend, I was talking about buying a condo with my buddy down there and Airbnb that shit. and then so when I go visit them You were talking to me about that Yeah just because I don't know

I want to make my money work for me I'm getting to that age And my friend was like Ah they're so very poll of kids I'm like I don't give a fuck there dude Dude I'm there to smoke cigars Get hammered Going to pool

I'm not having kids I'm not raising people there I use that state like it's a $2 hooker I don't give me shit I don't care I'm so over people like I don't give his shit Even if they say no to abortion

I'm a plaintiff take it away, kid. You know what I mean? It's not... Yeah, yeah. That also, like, that wouldn't... For me, that wouldn't affect me. Like, as horrible as that is, it doesn't. It wouldn't affect me at all. I'm doing in the state of it. Yeah. Hi-five.

There we go. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. But we'll be fine. You know what I mean? It's just like, it sucks, but it's the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm not doing good if I'm not taking advantage of it. Yeah, for sure. No, it would definitely be sketchy. No, I'm kidding. But yeah, I just, I had a great time. Plus, my friends are down there, so it's just like, I never worry about anything. Yeah, yeah.

When you're at the beach, she's getting drunk, like, nothing matters. Nothing matters. That was me Labor Day. Like, I had a bottle of, do you drink it all? Yeah. Yeah, I had a bottle of vodka, and I'm just staring at the ocean in the middle of the night. I'm like, this is, you got to do that sometimes, you know? Bro, we play.

Not too much. Like, it is, like, have you, do you ever, like, read The Odyssey or, like, any of that shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that little island they go to with all the grapes and the women. Like, you can get, like, trapped there. It's this Dionysian freaking party fest, man. It's nonstop. Dude, when I was, my buddy, this is how my buddy's party.

They have a kid too, and they're great parents, by the way. But on the weekend, we did, we played this game called Thunderstruck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know it? Yeah, of course. Yeah. I never played it before. Do you know it?

No. Okay, so you listen to ACDC's Thunderstruck. And it's almost like Roxanne, but it's like instead of you, you drink, when they say Thunderstruck, you drink, and you're in a circle, and you got to keep drinking until the nest Thunderststruck struck is said and then the next person drinks but you get fuck because there's a massive guitar solo in the middle of the song. Yeah, because it's what you've been, die, there's just like, and then you're like,

and then you're like, you're like drinking and drinking. Oh my God, we played that a lot. Oh, it's a blast. Oh, it's a blast. I got hammered. I try to ride his daughter to slide. I nearly broke him. It got gnarly. See, I'm excited for that type period to get because, like, in high school it was fun getting drug people's houses because there are kids' toys and shit like that. And that kind of goes away. Like, I'm in that type of It's kind of going away a little bit.

Right. But that'll come back. Oh, the kids' toys come back. Oh, the kids' toys come back, dude. And now is where my buddies are at. So they're just like, get the phone. They didn't get the phone in time, though. So no one's got it.

Hey, no one's got it. I'm in the clear. But yeah, I did almost break her. Sorry, Olivia. No, I don't know why. I thought you apologize to me for a second. No, I'm just saying Olivia. Sorry, Olivia.

Yeah, she listens to this pod. She will. She will. She's fucking smart, that little bitch. Well, she's smart that she won't listen to this podcast. My favorite one, I invented a drinking game. You know those pop guns? Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah, you play a Russian roulette. You put like cap guns. Just make the noise. The most fun, exhilarating drinking game, because you have a shot of vodka, and if it lands on you, you got to take a shot. This is like deer hunter, but in like,

it's unbelievable. Dude, I got to play that one. I love that. So much fun. Because you know that they come in like a ring. So it's like a ring, and you just break apart the ring. You put one in there,

and then you spin it, and then you go, and when somebody hits three, and the bullet still hasn't gone off, you're like, fuck. Yeah. Oh my God, dude. We also played beer pong. We also played flip cup in the pool.

That's fucking challenging. Oh, a little floating thing. Whoa. No, there was no floating thing. We have it on the lip up each end. Yeah. You got to, like, we race. So you, you know, swim down,

you drink, you flip, and then you got to come back and it's a relay. Whoa. You can really do, I feel like fun. That was insane. Like, as fun drinking games in New York like that. No, you don't have the room. You don't have the space.

You don't have the space. You don't have the space unless you're going to some rich person's house, but then it's like what? And we don't have pools. We're going to do it at the community pool. Be like, all right, dude. You know what I mean? Like you can't like, yeah, that's why I'm sad. I just like, even when people are like, oh, it's too hot.

And it was like, dude, I'm in first off northern Florida, so it's not the tropical heat. But like, you go to a pool, you do things like this. And then you go inside and you're in air conditioning. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I'm just like, I don't think you could even like, I don't think you could even drop a keg in New York. You know what I mean? there's certain things like that

that like, you can we used to do it a lot when I was in college. I used to go to Staten Island to get my kegs. Shut out. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You gotta go to fucking

Staten Island to get a cake. Yeah, I had to go out of Staten Island. That sounds a lot about someone's life if they've ever said that sentence. I used to go to Staten Island to get my kegs. I did in college, Victory Boulevard kid. So you went to school up here, right? Yeah.

What was it like party? Like, what did you guys do? So you get the keg, then would you bring it to a dorm room? Or like, how would you? No, so, I mean, we were kind of the jocks I went to a theater school

Okay so I liked the sentence We were kind of jazz I went to a theater school I went to a theater dance school So like my like I lived with a bunch of guys I've always lived with a bunch of guys So my freshman year I stayed in Rosewood Island Which you guys know where yeah yeah

That was awesome because my dad was wicked smart My dad's from the Bronx So my dad's like Jessica you have three options For your dorms you can go to the 92nd Street Why You can go to this thing called the Hirsch In Brooklyn or you can go to Roseville Island and get a fucking apartment

And I would do that. And I was like, all right. People are dumb about Rose Bond. They're like, I don't want to go. There's a stupid. There's a blood. My dad was like, don't be stupid. Go to Rosal Island.

You're going to get, I got my own. It was the best living experience I never had in my life. I had air conditioning. I was on the 14th floor. I had a balcony. I'm looking out of the city. Yeah. And I mean, my drug dealer lived a floor below me.

See, that could be good or bad. And you could be listening to like, Well, I had scholarships so I could do it. I was, I'm in a responsible drug and alcoholic. I always got my job done. You know what I mean? Yeah. wasted, but whatever, 18 you can be.

Yeah, yeah. You walk off. That was the best, is like, I would be, the best feeling would be having a 9 a.m. class and still be drunk in it. And you're like, ah, you guys are, like, there's something special about being drunk while everybody else is sober. Right, right, right. And it's like, and then you're, you know, burn that off. Yeah, yeah.

You burn that off. And then that night you're ready to go again. Like, you're, you're good to go, you know? So, I was a fine specimen at that age. And, uh, and so, yeah, so I got away with a lot living there. But then I moved to an apartment in Queens and Astoria by the time I was 20. Yeah. And that point, we were,

we were partying in that bitch all the time. We were having cake parties all the, we were having Toga parties because no one else was having them. Yeah. And we were like, we wanted that cult. So we had Toga parties all the time. I like the theater kids going to a Toga party. Like, oh, are we doing a Shakespeare? Yeah, it was really ridiculous.

But then we became, I don't know, whatever. It became, we were, we partied a lot. We charged people. We made rent money that way. Oh, fuck it. Yeah. Also, it's kind of hard for me to picture you at theater school because I feel like you would just make fun of all of the theater kids.

That's why I can see her purposely going to do that. Be like, oh yeah, like she just attended theater school ironically. Right. When I was young, I was really into like musicals and all that shit. And then my brothers, you know, beated me a submission and made fun of me to the point where by the time I got to college and I got in, I was mostly into plays and shit. Okay.

So I didn't fuck with the musical theater kids. They all annoyed me. They're like jazz hand fucking. They all annoyed. Like musical theater kids in general do annoy me. Yeah, I get that. completely. They're so fucking annoying. Yeah. But I always loved theater. I always loved it.

I liked musical theater, but I didn't like, it's like not liking the fans. It's like you could like, you know, this music, but you don't like, I hated. Like, I just, pretentious people. They're just so pretentious. They're so annoying. They're like, look at me. You weren't hugged enough or you're hugged too much. And I was just like, you guys are fucking, like, and they weren't real. They're just like, I was

acting and always being dramatic. Yeah. I was just like, bitch, shut up and be real. So I started getting really into, I was like, that's it. I can't do that part of it anymore. So I did mostly plays. So I wanted to be a theft, to be an actor. Well, that's different than musicals. Yeah, that was, yeah.

So I, then I, but I did tap dance, and I did ballet, and I did jazz while I also played rugby. I was always a weird kid. Oh, shit, yeah. Yeah, I did a, I was a renaissance chick. Yeah, those are two very different things. Yeah, I liked it all. So, but yeah. Was there more lesbians in theater or rugby?

Because I know there's a ton of. No, tons in rugby. By the time I got to, so I played rugby in high school, and then I was going to try to play here. I was going to try to play here. I was sure there's a lot of bisexual girls in theater. Because nowadays there would be because that's what's cool. But when I, working my day, it was mostly just, you know, bitches being bitches. Oh, really?

So it was like... I mean, there are some chicks that were just fucking around, but they didn't call themselves like, I'm a bisexual. They probably just made out with a chick. And they're like, now chicks are like, get drunk and they hook up with their fucking college roommate. And they're like, I think I'm bisexual. It's like, no, bitch. You just got hammered, you know, and you hooked up with someone. It is funny that that is a community, bisexual women, that is the most doubted community.

Everybody's like, are you real? I feel like I really prove it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess it's one of those things, it's two-sided coin because I feel like bisexual men are maybe believed slightly more, but it's like a harder thing to admit because people, they assume you're gay, which is so like, because they assume you're gay, but they're, yeah, because they also, it's like, it's kind of more accepted culturally, like we've seen it, like when people are more used to like, oh, a woman just swings this way,

experimenting in college, but it's, it's like, it's a little different when a guy says they're experiencing. Hey, there's a little more... If you guys are by, there's a little more involved because, I mean, getting a dick in your asshole, that's a lot more of a commitment than...

Yeah, but that's not the only way you could blow, you could get blown. Yeah, that's true, too. There is about that. But, you know, I mean, not to knock women bisexuals out there

that are, you know, bonafide bisexual. It's good for you, bitches. But I just feel like... I just feel like it's very... I feel like that's a term that's very loosely used.

Yeah, well, I think all of it's a spectrum, though. It is all the spectrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's funny, if you're a dude and you bang one dude, everybody's like, he's gay, and a girl could bang 40 girls and they're like, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like, that's a very good point. Yeah, you're right. There's fucking, I know, I know a gay guy who's banged 30 women and everybody's like, he's still gay.

You're like, he's gay. Yeah, one time. But he does identify as gay. We all know who he is. Right, right, right. Rides around on a scooter.

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what I can say, I mean, I don't think it matters, but yeah, Oscar, yeah, shut out, buddy. Yeah, yeah. But it's like he like, him fucking women is hilarious to me because he's like, yeah, it was fun, you know, whatever.

Yeah, it is. Because I could also, him bringing it up, he's like, because my best friend's guy and he would be like, when you say pussy, he's like, like, he's just like. That's so funny because like, I guess maybe. And he calls people that have babies breeders. He's like breeders. But I guess maybe depending on where you fall on the spectrum, I guess even if you like identify as gay, if you're somewhere on the spectrum but you still identify as gay, then maybe like for him having sex with a woman. is just like someone else having sex with the gender that they're normally attracted to, but just like a very unattractive person within that.

Yeah, yeah, I got what I'm saying. Like him, maybe for him, like, having sex with a woman is like fucking an ugly dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, his body's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, maybe that's like. He's like, I stooped last night. I fucking stooped. Yeah. No, he, he, he just, vagina makes some vomit. See, that's interesting because, like, I feel like, for me, it's not like a dick grosses me at.

You know what I mean? I'm like, it's a dick. You know what I mean? It's not like, I'm not like, ew, fucking gross. You know what I mean? It's like... Yeah, I understand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, I get the vaginas are also gross. Yeah, they can be. Yeah. I mean, yeah, not mine. But everyone else is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's some bitches with sloppy pussies on there, because I think balls are just... Yeah, you know, I think balls are just smelling. I think balls are fucking weird. They're very... They're very strange. All balls and vaginas. They're, you know, there's spectrums of them, too.

Yeah, yeah. There are vaginas that look normal with them. then there's... Some that are just... Like the blue waffle? Do you remember the blue waffle? No, I didn't know that they come in blue? You never...

Do you have your phone on you? I do. It's on the thing. So, when I'm taking video, can you please look this up right now? Yeah. Look up blue waffle. Have you seen the blue waffle?

No, I am. What? Dude, did you guys even have a childhood? You know what the blue waffle is? Oh, yeah, look a blue waffle vagina. All the listeners, it's... What's it called dramatic irony when the audience knows something,

but the... Maybe. Yeah, the performance. formers don't. Oh, boy. All right, just to let you know, on my phone it says blue waffle smurf, blue waffle recipe, blue waffle disease webbd. Disease, yes, disease vagina, blue waffle. Go to images. Okay.

Oh, no. Oh, you got safe search on. What I got? Your safe search? No, I don't think so. I don't know how do I turn that off. I don't know. I'm a boomer when it comes to that shit.

Do you not watch porn on your phone? I do. Oh, you just don't go to images. No. Let me see here. Am I going to have to do this? I'm going to... Blue Waffle Vagina.

Maybe gallery. Gallery. That is amazing. A gallery, like it's like an art. Yeah. An art wing at the Met. Why is it so hard to find? I don't know.

Get your phone out. Oh, you have a thing. You can't. Have you seen the... Oh, okay, okay, okay. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I miss Goggins. Are you ready?

I don't know. I don't know. Are we ready? Oh! Oh my God! What? What is that a hydra? What is it?

It's got like seven heads. I told you it was bad. Dude, that poor woman. What happened? Yeah, I don't know. You don't attach your face. If you have blue waffle, you don't know whether a piece looks like. That's like alien.

Yeah. How did that happen? I don't know. That looked like like eight different vaginas. Yeah, yeah. Pussy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Poor woman. Shout out to blue waffle survivors. Support group. A support group that no one wants. We are blue waffles, but we are proud. Oh, God, dude. It's what a, oh. I like the idea you go to a church, like between AA meetings.

So, like, no, sorry, that's Thursdays. This is the blue waffles. This is BWA. I thought so I could smell it. But that's rough. That's rough. Oh, my God. But there's a dick equivalent to the blue waffles.

There definitely is an equivalent. You ever look up, you think you have an essay? This makes me feel very fortunate with the vagina as I've encountered. You know what? I feel very fortunate, too. I wish mine was a little more pink, but I'm glad it's not blue. I look at that every morning just to be proud. Oh, my God. I think I might too, because whenever I get down on my vagina and being fat, I'll look at a blue waffle.

Yeah, you don't have a little waffle. Yeah. Wow. See, would you still go down on that if you, like, if she was a smoking, smoking hot woman? Zero, zero percent. See, the thing is, it's because there's a, because there's a, close up, I just can't even, I can't even picture the context, like, how that fits into, like, a woman that I've seen, like, a person that I've seen, you know? You can't, you don't think that could be on a hot, yeah, it doesn't take, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how it would work spatial. Or is someone born with a blue waffle? What's up? Is that years in trials of tribulations? I'm sure it's like a combination of SD. But I think, I don't know if it's, you have blue. Also the shape of that. That's what I'm saying. It was a waffle. It's got grooves. It was like an, it was like an inverted trapezoid. Wow, yeah. It defied math. Like if you were a close-up on it, I was like, oh, is that a seashell? And then you pull back, you're like, whoa!

It's like, you know what I mean? It's got the grooves. Yeah, yeah. It's just... It's got like lips going in different directions almost. And then it's got white pus. Yeah, yeah. It's gross.

It's like if a vagina was an MCSher painting, there's no way out. Oh, my God, right. It keeps leading to the other vaginas. Bro, it was, yeah, that's gruesome. That's gruesome. I mean, my child, It was just, you know, not encountering that in the wild, but just, you know, you'd be like, hey man, Google blue wobble. I wonder what a dick equivalent would be.

If you ever, like, I've had rash on my dick and you look up something, you always see the worst case scenario. So you always see like a dick with syphilis that those look horrible. Are those bad? Well, you like, are they like the elephant man dick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or they'll have like holes in it. Like, oh, wait, what? Holes? Yeah, there's ditches in them, yeah.

No. If you get severe, do you guys got to make me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what you're like, wait, what you're like, wait, what you're. Okay, oh wait, wait, wait. I close the screen on Blue Waffles, now you open it, it's gonna open on. Wait, so. Oh, God.

Okay. Wait. It's just like that goes right through the dick. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I don't know. Like, when I look through it. I'm not sure. It's not like, like you could see,

syphilis whole dick. Whole. My Google's gonna be all fucked up. You know what's so funny. I'm Googling this. this and your Google has a picture of you. So at the top of the screen, it's like you're smiling. You're like,

your whole dick. Yeah, that's the thing. You get holes in your dick. I'm just curious how this holes in your dick looks. Like, can I see all the way through? Or am I looking at a blood vessel? Am I looking at a vein? Got to go to gallery again.

God damn gallery. See? My PG? I don't think it's all the way through, but it's, oh, that's pretty bad. Okay, let's see it. There's like, like that. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, I got that idea. Woo. God, could you imagine being a doctor and just like looking at you like that all day? Dude, I would have to take a picture.

And send it to a group chat of doctors. Yeah. Like, I call it the blue waffles. I know. Exactly, dude. I seriously, that's blue waffle. I can't, is that the medical term? No.

No, no. 0% chance. That would be amazing if it was. Yeah. I think it's like, I don't know if it's called blue waffle or that is the blue waffle, you know? Because I don't know if it's like,

oh, she's got blue waffle or this woman is the blue waffle. If I ever did a movie, I would have a character that, like, named his boat the blue waffle without a lot of it. Yeah, people just were laughing at him for like years and he had no idea why. He was like, what? It's the blue waffle.

My mom used to make me blue waffles. The hard part is because that was a viral thing. I guarantee. I mean, it blew up. it looked pretty viral. Yeah, yeah. Literally. But yeah.

But like that person has to know that their vagina picture is out there like that. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say like... Or are they in the aisle like, that could be somebody else. There could be anybody's infected vagina. Oh man.

Or they're like, it's not that bad. They have like no reference point. They're like, come on. Right, right, right. So this is the thing I was thinking about today. We're talking about male, female versions of shit. So you know there's like, you know, there's simps, right?

Yeah, yeah. Which are destroying this country right now. What, there's women version of Sibs, though. So what do you call them? So are they just the women who just stay with a guy no matter how shitty he is? Yeah, basically not only that, and it's also like a chick that has no personality or nothing. I think people call that a victim. Oh, balls.

But it's guys, you're like, oh, he's a pussy, but. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about like a chick that's like, you know, like that. Do you have a friend, a cock is a, I'm specifically watching your woman getting fucked by the judge. SIPP is a guy that is like, you know, we'll do, you know, we'll say anything or do anything and be like, oh, for women's rights just to get, like, or not even get pussy, but just to be, you know what I mean,

just be, you know, on the side of women. Just spineless. Spineless, pussy, basically. So I'm wondering, there's women versions of it because I don't want to, you know, but I have a friend now dating a chick. They usually just say women with low self-esteem. Yeah, you know what I say? That's all they say.

Because this chick has no, like, she never, like, never listened to the music that he listened to Nelson. She is now and does all the things he wants to do and doesn't have her own thing. This is a spectrum, though, because there is, there's two kinds of guys like this. There are guys that are like, oh, can I please get some pussy,

blah, blah, but they, and then they're like, oh, yeah, I like this, I like this. But then there's also the guy who's like, yeah, I'm just saying, I like this shit to get pussy. You know what I mean, there's two. Yeah, right. I see you're saying. Because there's a guy, because I know, I know guys

that are like, yeah, whatever, I'll fucking lie to her face again. But that's different than the guy who's like... That's actually... That's a player. That's a player. Yeah, yeah. That guy's a player. That guy I kind of...

I would like... It would get my advantage when I was single or get to my disadvantage because I literally a girl would say something and I would be like, no, that's not what I believe in. And so I'd go home, which is so dumb. Because now I'm like, why didn't I just have sex with that person? I remember one girl, she's like, yeah, I hook up with older guys, but I'll make an exception for you. I was like, make an exception for me. I'm nobody's exception.

I want that. I'm like, I should have something. Oh, my, that's, I mean, that's, you, that's a, that's a very funny character. Just a guy who, like, repeatedly screws himself out of pussy at a principle. That's like, dumb and dumb. Just like, but dumb principle, like weird hills to die. Yeah. I would show that guy.

Oh, that's so funny. That's like, excuse me, we're looking for a guy's to like. Oh, yeah, there's a town right there. You're like, you're in luck. Because there's a town right down. You're like, what the fuck? He's like, what are you stupid? No, the town is that.

That's right. Exactly. that's funny. No, I was just thinking about this today. This should be a female vert. Like this should be called. Oh, there is. Wimp.

Yeah, yeah. Like women. What does Simp stand for? Simp is, uh, I looked at this. Submissive. Submissive. Modest. I looked it up.

I can't remember it though because it's a lot of words. It's probably four. Yeah. Ballpark. Um, but, but yeah, I forget what it. We can look it up if you want, but I forget. But I forget.

there should be a woman version too. Yeah, well, there's definitely, like, women who just kind of, like, let their boyfriend cheat on them all the time, and they're like, yeah, whatever. That or like, like, like, like I say, they like, they're, they have no taste of their own. The hard part is, this is, I think I'm a little sexist because in my mind, I'm like, man, that's cool of her. Like, I don't know why. It's like, clearly that's a, that's a spineless thing.

No, dude, I think it's annoying. As a dude, wouldn't you be fucking, I know, you're like, babe, can you go do your own thing? You know what I mean? Like, oh, you mean, like, she's just always around? Yeah, kind of. Because, like, I was watching the Elvis movie, and his, she's just cheating on him. And it's such a funny scene because she comes in. And he's like, I'm sorry. You found out.

She's like, I'm leaving you. She goes, I'm not leaving you because you cheat. She goes, I don't give a fuck about that. I'm leaving you because you're doing pills all the time. Oh, no shit. And part of me was like, that's kind of cool. Like, it's spineless in a way, but it's kind of like. Right, right, right.

But being around me all the time would. Wouldn't that be annoying? Yes. That specifically that is something that would drive me nuts. Or someone like, or someone being like calling you a babe all the time. Like, big. Babe, babe, babe, like, shut up. It would almost be cool of a guy, because you reverse the role is, that guy's almost

not a sympathy. He's just like, yeah, people fuck my girlfriend, whatever. Like, that's almost, that's different than, oh, please, we like me. You know what I mean? These are two different things. Yeah, kind of. It's whiny. Yeah, if you don't care.

There's a whininess involved, right? There's a whininess involved. Because you're so obsessed with the person. Because you could be cocky enough. Like, Elvis's wife, like, in that movie, I was kind of watched it. I was like, oh, it's not, like, she is, like, she is, like, she's Elvis. I don't really give it. It wasn't like she was like...

Right, they didn't like him. She almost didn't like him for him. She just was mystified by his being Elvis. Right, but I'm saying it wasn't like she was like, oh, I'll do whatever for him because he's just like, this fucking retard's gonna fucking bang a bunch of people. Did you like it? I loved it.

Did you? Did you see it? No, but my friend said it kind of was a little too much. In what way? Like it was just like, like Tom Hanks was like a little overboard and acting eyes. Yeah, he was like, but I didn't see it yet. So I know. Plus it's Boslerman and he's been kind of...

Is he that one that plays Elvis? No, Baslim is the director. What else did he do? He did Mulan Rouge. Romeo and Juliet. Oh, yeah, I could so see that. Yeah, it's very like, cinematic. Yeah, and like that.

Can you hold the higher on the microphone, by the other way? Yeah, sorry, I forgot. Yeah, you're good. So, yeah, but I've heard, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. I didn't, but I didn't see it yet. Yeah, I like that. I thought I didn't want to get my girlfriend's a ringer's day. I was moving my, uh, okay.

Like, I was like, I want to see Top Gunn, but whatever. You're like, go ahead, bitch. Yeah, yeah. See, Simp. whatever you want whatever you want babe sure babe yeah yeah all right babe I want the butter you know what it is oh you never seen

you ever seen the movie city slickers I actually don't think I have yeah no it is it's an old movie but Daniel Stern's character you'd say probably was a simp this is before pre-simps yeah but it was he would be more of a simp character but then he ends up cheating on her so it's not too

sim it's in the beginning of the film so you're not missing anything but it's funny as fuck well sometimes those guys, I feel like when pussy falls in their lap they cheat because they're like, holy shit in a way. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, what? I didn't even have to work for. Yeah, kind of. Simps are, they're just deadly.

Yeah. They're deadly. I get what you're saying, though, when it is bad when people like can start like just doing whatever. You know, because I mean, like, there is like a sense of like craziness when people will just do whatever for like a woman. Yeah. And like a danger.

And like a dangerous. Yeah, for sure. In like a dangerous way. There is girls that I guarantee you. Like, Do you remember that one teacher she, like, was fucking a student, and she had him murder her husband or something? Oh, yeah. Wasn't that a movie?

No, no, it was just a cool story. Oh, where. That must have been in Florida. Was that a Florida thing? Probably, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I thought there's a lot of them. I thought there would be a lot of bitches that do that. Yeah, we get a lot of the teachers.

I got rejected by a woman that worked to my school, which is funny. I walked up to her and I was like... Wait, you hit on? How old were you? Yeah, so it was my, I was... I graduated and I went back to drop off my books, and I was like, this is the day I'm going to go. That is awesome. Good for you.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I walked up. She was also totally appropriate. He waited to graduate. Right. Yeah, I was like, I'm a student here. I'm 18. Yeah.

And I was so blown away by how mean she was to me because I walked up. Shut up. I walked up and I was like, hey, how's it going? She goes, hello? And I go, hey, my name is Michael. What's your name? She's like, Mrs. Whatever.

And I go, oh, what's your first name? She goes, you don't get to know my first name. Shut up. She shot you right down, dude. And then I was like, well, I was wondering. I just graduated. You want to go out sometime? but she's just like absolutely not

or something like that How old was she? Yeah, I was a cop. She's probably like 26 probably. Okay. All right, dude. Dude, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I also like, like, I tell your boys or do you just do this on your own. Yeah, yeah, I told my boys, but it was funny because then the principal walked up and just watched the whole thing and then everybody thinks that he was banging her. Shut up. Yeah, so it was like a little bit of like,

he was probably like this fucking. Dude, good for you, man. At least you're out of there. You know what I mean? Yeah, I had that confidence, though, because I, um... Did you bag a lot in high school? Well, yeah, and also what I would do, I don't want to talk too much about it because I had a girlfriend. It's hard for me to be like, yeah.

But I would, I had a Tinder in high school, and I would have a Tinder that said I was when I was 17, that would be 16 to 17, because you could have Tinder at 16. It would just cut off. It would just cut off. So I would just lie. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, first off, two things. I love that you just talked like 10 minutes ago, you're like, yeah, I couldn't lie to women.

Oh, but if I'm my age, I would totally lie. I know, dude. Completely, yeah, yeah. Two things. So when I was your age, we didn't have Tinder and all that stuff. And I'm sure if we did, maybe I would have been a whore. Two, I think also, anybody that lives, like, because you were, where you grew up, Orlando? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Anyone that grows up near, because my best friend grew up in Hilton Head Island, which is, like, who's from the Bronx, but he moved down there when he's good. But all those kind of kids that grew up near the beach. and especially of tourist areas. Oh, because they were bagging nonstop, dude, because he said he would just get these tourists coming down for the summer. Yeah, yeah. And you want to talk about summer loving.

Well, just people on vacation are in a different mindset. Right. They're like, I'm going to fuck a child. Or at least one of you is on, if at least one of you is on vacation, because, for example, if you're like on a business trip or you're traveling somewhere else and the other person knows that you're on a business trip or whatever, there's an understanding that this isn't something serious because they know that you're leaving,

like tomorrow we're in a day or two. Whereas like if you both live in the same place, you could get misaligned on expectations. Right, right. But also, each age doesn't exist. Like, people would always sit on older girls at the beach because it was like,

that you don't know, there's no reason for you to know. It's not like a party, this, a that. It's like, it's not a bar where they check your ideas. It's like, it's like, being on a cruise ship.

It's just like, there's like, open water, bro. Yeah, yeah. You know? And like he said, he would, like, I think his oldest he got, he was 18.

I think he got like a 43-year-old. And it's just like, I mean, that was like, like he was, it was frequent. You know what I mean? You say he lived in Jacksonville? No, this is in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Oh, okay. Is that like, yeah, I always forget.

The South Carolina has beaches like, I've ever been to Myrtle Beach, but I feel like I would fucking love Myrtle Beach. It's redneck. Yeah, but I'm saying it's like, I feel like it's that fun. Like aquatic rednecks are a different breed because like, it's like the jet ski, the boat. I'm just picturing rednecks, but they're fish. Yeah.

Gills Riding to Harley So I went there for bike week And I took a bunch of mushrooms At a Myrtle Beach And that Was it black biker week? No

You know that's a different thing Oh I know it's a different thing I wish it was black bike week Yeah This was KKK Cave white bike And that got fucking crazy dude That got really crazy I was so I was fucked up

We went in South Kansas It was weird It got really Fucking weird man I was like, I'm seen out of like fear and loathing. I'm on these mushrooms and all I could hear is these bikes going back and forth. Oh yeah. And it was just, it was maddening.

It got to the point. I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here. So that was my introduction to Myrtle Beach. And I was like, I'm never going back. See, I would love that because I went to, I've been to Daytona Beach when they have bike week. Oh, man. That's nuts. It was like, because our spring break overlapped at that.

Oh, my God. And it was the funniest, like, chain of events. Because what happened is we get there and I booked the hotel for the wrong week. Yeah. Luckily, my buddy was like a. just completely wrong week how good yeah

it was bad everybody was just like what the fuck wait so did you guys like show up there and you're like we're like we have a reservation they're like

no you don't you're like I think we yeah yeah I was literally being cocky about it and I was like yeah

I think we have reservation oh my God and they're like you're like it starts on the 23rd they're like it's the 10th

oh my god dude my buddy of the time RIP he was a carpenter. So he was like, he got, this sounds weird, it relates. So he had all these points out because that Lakeita Inn, he like helped him design something. So he got like a free stay there. So we crashed at a Lakeita Inn. And one of my friends got, I got to fight with him because he was

being, I was very wild weekend. Everybody was just yelling at each other. Right. He, uh, took my dad's car. That was a rental car. Because I think we were like 18 or 19 at the time. Took my dad's car, went to a hotel, banged a hooker. Just, just, just, just the, just the, his motel. Just to get out. Just to get the angst out. I'm going to go. I'm going to go fucking bang a hooker. Came back with a biker guy who was just like 50. And we're like 18. And he goes, yeah, this is Mike.

He's cool. And he goes, what's going on, brother? And just full beard. It's just in our hotel room. I'm like, what the fuck? He goes, he went to Florida State also. I'm like, I don't care. I don't get me went to the same college.

I was like 50 years ago. 30, 35 years ago. What the fuck? And it was the funniest thing because we, because we got one night at Laketon to in the next night, we went through. motel. My buddy goes, yo, this is where I fucked the hooker.

He's like, this is the same motel. Shut up. So wait a minute. What did you guys do with the Piker guy? We somehow, like, got him out of there. I don't know how it happened. What was he doing? Did he buy blood?

What was he doing? He was just, he just had a bottle of Jack Daniels and was just staring at us while. We were like, like, did not, wasn't like you got, it wasn't like a cool older guy that's like bonding.

He's just standing in the corner like a wizard, just like a wizard. Staring. Yeah, just staring at us. That's scary. Yeah. So wait, what did you, Wait, so hold on.

You only had that for the night. So what did you guys do the whole week? So, well, we did three days there. Okay. But the next two nights, he got a bunch of Xanax from the hooker, and we just, like, blacked out for like. This guy is resourceful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he knows, of course, yeah.

Also, this is when you're 19, so you have like $100. I was going to say, it's really getting your money's worth. Yeah, dude, he is, man. He got a hooker. He got some Xanax. Oh, yeah, yeah. Got a 50-year-old guy, so he got his booze on with the Jack Daniels that the guy had. Oh, yeah, no, he came to the.

He came to the beach. I wonder if he got that for free or if that changed the price of the hooker. Yeah, maybe I don't know. If she was like, I'll throw in some Xanax for an extra $20. Wait, how much? I bet you she tried to give him Xanax or she could rob them. That's probably like a good idea. She's like, really a good idea.

Yeah, totally. But I mean, that's crazy. I wonder how much a hooker ran. I was bag on the back page was like a thing. Yeah. And then the next day, it was just like the most debauchress. And the next day, like, I remember I got like my fake ID taken away.

And then we got like stopped by the police when we had a bunch of cocaine on us. Oh, man. Man, dude. What a hell of a weekend. Yeah, but it was like, it was so funny because it was like, it was almost stressful because I was almost stressful. Exactly, dude. Because I had like no money. Like I had, right. And like, because I was, I think it was freshman year of college.

So like I had no money. And, but I still love. I mean, that was still the spirit. Like that was the spirit of Daytona Beach. No, right, right. We had a thing called senior week or senior year of high school. I heard this is a huge thing of North. They did we do them.

Yeah. Did you guys? Did you do this? Oh. I don't know if we had that. All right. So it's basically... We got like four minutes, by the way, but we're good.

Oh, shit. So it's basically a week of you just getting... Like, it's just a week of all the seniors. We all... And at that point, we went to Ocean City, Maryland. That's where we decided to go. I for that's the shit. I think I was fucking insane, bro.

And all the parents know, it's like we go for a week and we just... We go... All 18-year-olds go down for a week in Ocean City, Maryland. And it's like all the schools in your area, like even the Catholic school kids had their own house. And it's just... a shit show and we just buy tons of liquor and at that point I was working out of a pizzeria

that had booze and beer oh beer only but we got booze we get shit done resourceful yeah and we got a shit ton of beer from there and weed and I didn't do any blow at that time I was just mostly I was a pretty good kid all it was I drank a lot every every generation has like

not generate we're the same generation but every like there's always a time period where drugs are very popular and then the next time period people are afraid of that drug. Right. So like my ecstasy was really big in my era. So we had a lot of ecstasy running around. You just saw all the horrors of cocaine probably from the 80s. Like my dad in his generation like like like he was like late 70s like they did cocaine.

Right. They were scared of acid. Like some of them did acid but they were like acid, they were like acids are the dangers. That's what we did. It was liquid acid, mushrooms, ecstasy, MDMA, all that shit was in. Because it was back again. Because once like it was like, oh, this is psychedelics, it's not dangerous. And so that's what that was in. You know what I mean? So, yeah, it was all that. Like, I remember my senior year our prom, which was bullshit anyway.

They had, like, they made us do breathalizers to go in, but all of us were on ecstasy. We're like, yeah, we'll breathe into your shit, but everyone was fucked up on ecstasy. My prom date did acid. It was a funny, there's a funniest picture of all of us.

I swear to God, there's a picture of all of us standing there, and she's just staring at the ground. Like, every smiling. That's awesome, dude. She had a horrible thought. She went in the bathroom and freaked out for a hour. There was no breath of lies.

We're like, dumb bitch. Totally. And it's so funny, too, because my brothers both had girlfriends and they both, like, played football. So they had those, like, senior pictures of, like, being at the high school prom. Mine was none of that. I was just like, all right, dude, this is bullshit.

I'm here for the after party, man. Like, I don't even remember. There was nothing magical about senior prom. No, the prom itself sucks. It's stupid. It was just like, whatever, dude. It was lame. I didn't even get a limo.

I just drove my mercury sable. That's awesome. And I went to it. I was like, all right, cool. now we're going to go get bombed at the after party and that's what it was all about. Yeah, yeah. That was kind of like,

where did you grow up again? Massachusetts. By the way, I'm so annoying because I wanted to talk to you about China, but we didn't get to... Oh, my God. Well, you could cut it up. No, no, but I'm saying we got to end, like, in like...

Oh, do we? What the hell did you want to talk about China for? You lived there? That's interesting. Oh, fuck, I forgot you lived in China. Jesus Christ. This isn't a current events podcast. I was like, seriously.

You don't read? Yeah, no, no, no, no. I forgot, Ben. You're like, Michael, good. Why would you care about China? So I hear inflation in China. It's like, what happens? No, no.

You're like, what happened to you? I totally forgot. You were tightening up with the juice stuff earlier? I know exactly. Now we're talking about China? What? Is this the McLaughlin group? Yeah, we'll get to it then.

We'll get to it another time. I'm so sorry, Ben. No, what do you guys want to promote? Um, just like China. Whatever. I got shows. I got a new pod coming out, but I, I didn't name it yet. Oh, hell yeah.

But new pods in the works, kids. Keep eyes on my Instagram. Jay Love Comedy. Awesome. Yeah, speak of China, I got an album that I dropped a couple months back. It's called Goodbye Shanghai. You can find it on my Instagram. It's just a Ben Frank comedy.

And on iTunes. I download it on iTunes. Yeah. Yeah. I assume you said Instagram because that's the easy way to find it. Yeah, my Instagram will have the link to all the places you can get it. Okay, sweet. This guy, huh?

Yeah. It's good. I lived in a lot. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you, Sass. Thank you, guys.