Morning Good - I'm Sorry God - Episode 106

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

Thanks to Matt and Jake for coming back on the show. Check them both out on social media for info on shows and more stuff these guys might be coming out with.Matt is on IG @mattbowmancomedy and has a new book coming out called "Big Time in The Big City," so follow him for more info on that. Jake Timothy is out on the road in Vermont and Rhode Island this weekend. Check him out on IG @jake_timothy.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the Boner on the front. Welcome to Morning. Yeah, dude. I'm a low mic, grabber. We're starting here. We got new technology. We're here with Matt Bowman. What up?

Here to promote his new book. Big Time. Big Time's name of the book? Big Time in the Big City. Big Time in the Big City with Matt Bowman, baby. Yeah, dude. Now what's it about? Big Time in the Big City in Little China.

There it is. That sounds like a Wes Anderson movie. Have you ever seen that movie? Big trouble in Little China? Yeah. I've never seen it, but I know what it is. I've seen Chinatown. That's different.

Yeah, yeah, way different. I was very confused when I first started watching because I was like, this is nothing like New York City. And then I realized Chinatown's not an exclusively New York, by where we're also here with Jake Timothy. Yeah. It's not an exclusively New York City thing. Sure.

A lot of places have a China. Chinatown. Places have other stuff that we have, I guess we have Chinatown, Little Italy, and Korea Town. Korea, yeah. But other places have like Little Puerto Rico and shit like that.

That just sounds... In L.A., they have Little Tokyo. Ooh. Yeah. Little Puerto Rico sounds like the whitest place ever. Yeah, yeah. They just make them. Yeah. That's just like they were pushed there. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of is, isn't that what those

towns are, basically? Yeah. And then they just get turned into like a tourist attraction after little Africa sounds bad. Yeah. That doesn't quite work. They don't let you do that. I was going to say, that's just Harlem. Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm a little Africa right now. It's so cool. They have a Popeyes. My goodness. Dude, it'd be funny if they just had like if one of the aspects of little Africa was there was just like one lion just a round. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Just like, you don't know where it is. I'd love to go to like Little Italy in like somewhere in Africa. that'd be great. You're in Ethiopia, but they have a little... It's just an olive garden. That's, you know, fucking, like, where Chinatown is in Manhattan, that used to be, like, Little Italy.

And Little Italy was, like, the entirety of downtown Manhattan. And the Chinese pushed him down. It was, like, 40 blocks. You know, that's not a lot of racism you see. Because I know, I talk about a lot, I know some racist Italians. Yeah.

Seems like it's mostly, like, a black, Hispanic thing they have an issue with. I've never heard an Italian guy complain about the Chinese. I think that a lot of the times... How many Italians do you know? A lot. Too many.

They complain about everything. Yeah. Yeah. You're giving them a lot of credit here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, they'll be like, the weather's hot outside. You know, there's lots of black people

and that Chinese guy was sweet. No, it's not like that. Well, I feel like the, the... By the way, I know one racist Italian. I've seen a lot of movies with racist Italians. Only one racist Italian? Yeah, yeah. Like, you're like, you talk to all the time.

Correct. Yeah. Yes, yes. We know of a lot more, but they're not like, you're not friends. Right, right, right, right. This is part of my life. More than like any other race. I've heard Italian people are the most comfortable, I think,

thinking that their racism isn't racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll just be like, I don't want to, like, I have a friend who said to me once, we were, like, trying to figure where to go to dinner. I was like, I've never been to red lobster. Let's go there, and she's like, there's always, like, a lot of black people there. And I was like, that's fucking.

Is there really she said that? That makes it better. That's so racist. She's like, it's not racist. It's just an observation. It's just, it's not, if you're saying it and enjoying the food there, you're like, oh, there's a lot of black people. That's different than saying, it's like that Bill Burbank.

Yeah, yeah. But if you're, that's way different to say, I'm not going there. Yeah. You really that's going to ruin your meal. You think you're going to have a less enjoyable time at Red Lobster because there's black people there. Right. And it's not, and you know what, it's funny is that if you go to another restaurant,

people could be like, yeah, I don't want to go there because there's a lot of Italians there. Like they, I feel like they could be more disrupt. black over town. Yeah, absolutely. I know this isn't like a thing you can figure out before the restaurant, but 100% of the time. Yeah, I also, I'm not, I don't even notice other people when I'm in a restaurant. I'm so, like, nervous in that public setting like that. I'm just looking at my friends. No. I just don't want to, like, pay attention to anyone. Yeah, I think I've never, like, gone and counted. It's been like, no, no, unless it's, like, blatantly obvious. The only time I'll do it is

if that's the theme of the restaurant. Like, if it's an Asian restaurant, you do, want to make sure there's Asian people eating there. Sure. To make sure it's like a good place. It's funny is you said if, did you say Asian themed restaurant? Asian themed, yes. What's a black themed restaurant? An Asian themed pizzeria.

You'd be surprised, dude, I've had some like, what's a black themed restaurant? You know what? It really should have had something queued up there. That's all right. Got nothing. That's okay. Bubba gump. Ooh, yeah.

It's based off one black man. I don't know if the whole thing is. You get that big lip. I guess. He does. That's his character specifically. I didn't say, I said he. I'll be honest, Matt.

I got a little uncomfortable too. You want me to edit that app. I'm just kidding. I've been to like Jamaican restaurants and stuff. It's not a theme. Sure. But it's just the cuisine that they're serving. Yeah, yeah.

Like jerk chicken and stuff like that. Yeah. Where I went to college, there was a like a Jamaican restaurant. And it was the biggest restaurant in the town. And every time I went there, there was nobody in there. Really? Yeah.

So big, you mean like space-wise? In terms of, yeah, like the space they had. Oh, wait, what am I talking about? I went to Nefertaris. It's a black restaurant in, it's, I want to say it's, is Nefertari like an Egyptian god? That sounds, Nefertiti. Are you talking about, why is it a black restaurant? Because.

Are you talking about like, like, it's African food? So from my understanding, so I used to go to the restaurant, I used to do these open mics, right? hardest open mics I'd ever do because it was all black poetry room. And they would get up there and they'd be like, they're shooting us, they're killing us, they're murdering us. And then I'm up there like, what's up there like,

you guys? You guys like trans people? Yeah, yeah, it would be tough. Or I'm talking about people, fuck, yeah, they're like, what is it going on with this guy? Yeah. And then, um, that would be tough. And then, uh... Was you ever like murder there?

No, never. I was so nervous, dude. Yeah. Yeah. They got all the stuff. Well, the poetry, yeah, they would, And they would do, surprising the key thing is all different here.

So the key thing, I've heard of you bombed at mocas, they shake your keys to get you off stage. But there, if you were crushing, they would shake their keys. And it was funny because the only waiters I ever saw at the restaurant were white people. I'm like, that's kind of awesome. Because the tables are all like,

they're like, they look like Kings tables. Like everything's gold. It's very, and they have like, the only reason I think it's an African restaurant because there were on the walls, there's like posters about like Africa, stuff like that. Right. Like there was like stuffed lions and stuff like.

that. Yeah, that's the distinction I'm making. You were like, I went to a black restaurant. No, no, no, no. There's African. But is it like an African cuisine. Yeah. Now the one thing it was to be...

You ever have, like, Ethiopian food? Ethiopian food is fucking delicious. No, I never had. So, yeah. They have a lot of Ethiopian restaurants around here. You should check them out. I think there's one event over there. Yeah.

It's kind of, you just eat everything you eat just like with your hands. But if they're like, it's like stuff that you would look at and be like, I need a spoon for that. But you just use your hands and take like lentils and tomato or potato. and all this shit and put it in these wraps. It's fucking delicious. It is hard, though, sometimes to eat it. Cuisines you've never had before. Because it's hard to just be like, I'm going out on a limit.

I don't know what I'm ordered. Not as far as I'm ever going to be like, oh, this is bad. But I might order something that I think is like, I feel like I have this a lot of Indian restaurants or like, if they don't speak very good English, it can be kind of hard sometimes because you're like, okay, what is this and you order it and you realize there's like no meat in it? Or you realize it's only me or you realize this is just like a weird side dish you ordered. I love places that

like kind of what you're saying of where you just use your hands I love a place that rather than using a utensil they're like no just use bread and then like the bread you pick it and then you do that that's the best pasta bread bowl yeah it's great bread fork

yeah like what is that don't they have a bread bowl at a Panera I think a very different thing though that's a white restaurant I'm talking about white places what a rip off that place it's so good but it's so good

but it's so expensive. It's so crazy. And you always think you're like, oh, yeah, this is, my dad's gonna be, because they trick you, they're like, oh, it's a sandwich

and a soup combo, but then it ends up being like you're buying two things anyways. Yes, because, and you don't get a, you don't get a full of either. You get a half cup of soup and a half a sandwich

for $30. It is good if you're sick, though. Like, if you're sick, it's nice to get, like, soup from there. Oh, yeah. I mean, so it's like Campbell's,

or like fucking, is Camph, yeah, that's right, Campbell's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. What's the sickest you've ever been? The sickest I've ever been.

I was fucking murdering the other night, dude, and it was, you know, the sickest ever been, I'm 95% shy at swine flu. So I was in Italy, and this guy's like, dude, you have swine flu. And, yeah.

That's all you needed. Yeah, no, I was in a doctor or this guy? Some guy. Some guy. I don't speak Italian, but I interpreted a man saying I have swine flu. And that's why I counted. No, I was in Italy with my family.

and I got like real sick. And it was so funny too because this was back when I was a kid, this was back when I was a kid and I like masturbated and then I got really sick and I'm like, I'm sorry God. Like I thought he was like punishing me.

Especially in Italy that close to the papal states. Yeah, just like he knows. I'm right by fucking Ruffington. I'm like, God damn. I knew I shouldn't have jerked off. I should wait until my family goes to France. That's a sexy, slutty country. But I used to have this part of OCD.

I'll get to the swine food thing but I used to have this thing of the OCD where I thought that every time I masturbated God was punishing me the next day because I'd fail tests and then occasionally I'd do well so I'd go okay

maybe if I drug off an even amount of times then it's good luck and I would do two times I'd hit three so I'd have to go to four and I kept failing tests and I realize I'm failing because I'm just masturbating the whole day before I'm not studying the materials

there's nothing to do with some weird God thing nice yeah yeah when did you find that out like when did you put that together when I was 23 and I got diagnosed host with OCD. Oh, wow. Well, I figured out

that's what that was. I started masturbate and not caring about it way after that. But, uh, but yeah, no, it was fucking, uh, absurd. Because it was like, I was taking a lot of adderall as a kid and then taking Adderall and then having religion and having OCD is just like, yeah, a recipe for a little bit of disaster. Wow. So swine flu.

That sounded cool, though. I was like, recipe for, I'm a recipe for disaster. I'm a recipe for disaster. I'm a masturbating than crying. God's going to punish me for jerking off. So the swively, yeah, so then I was like, I was just so sick. I was throwing up a bunch. And I was like, the next day, I remember I passed out,

uh, standing up. So they had to get me a wheelchair and they'd, like, wheel me around to the museums. You get a fucking IV? They still took you out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like a make-a-wish kid. It's like, this is his last time. I tell you what?

I'm never going in a wheelchair. Shoot me in the face before you did. The stairs you get from people are so bad. What? Well, because you did you look normal, but you were just in a wheelchair or? I don't know what I'd look like, but people were just staring at me. Wow. I don't know if this was an.

thing or if that's just what it's like to be in a wheelchair. What do you, so I'll be honest, I will do a quick glance and then I'll glance away. Yeah. It'll almost be bad, though, how far I'll look away for people in wheelchairs. I'm like, I don't want to look at them and then you're just like... But then you over correct. You're like, oh, over the building. And they're talking to you and you're like, I don't even see you.

I'm just looking at a complete opposite direction. I'm not able. It's just staring at you. I had that thought when I was walking over here, there was like a little person on FaceTime that was like kind of ahead of me. I was like, whoever is on the other end of that must see so many people behind this girl like,

oh yeah. She's just like walking down the street. Yeah, you literally get all the reactions. People like, what the fuck's going on there? People also, like, I was kind of doing it and I was like, I kind of want to know if she's talking to another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're definitely curious.

What's she talking to? Yeah, yeah. I don't think there's a huge close-knit community of them, though. For my understanding, it's like, it's not like they're like, we need to get together. There's not a little. little people town? Not.

There's not. It's kind of... No, because a lot of times it's like, they're, you know, you're born into a family of not little people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like you kind of have to get used to people. Yeah, yeah.

That's got to be like an out-cats. But then like big people, little world, their whole family's a little bit. But that's, I guess, if you get weird... Their kids are big, right? Yeah, that was a weird thing. It was, yeah, because it was like that both the parents, I think, were little people.

And then, like... They were there when we were in Europe, by the way. Either that or the fever was really, out of control and I was seeing them there. The little people big world is there? We're in Switzerland and they live in the mountains actually. I'm just kidding. They were like, I think they're from like

Montana or something. No, no, but they were in Switzerland and we were there like the town they're talking about like, yeah, the little people big wild are here. And we're like, oh, that's cool, yeah. That's, I mean, if I saw two little people, I'd be like those guys were on TV. Yeah, that's a good point. And you might be right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, they do have like, yeah, it's, yeah, I think if you're a little, you have a lot. you have a lot you can't do and then you have some options. Sure. As far as acting, I don't think like there's an audition. That would be interesting to see an open cast call

for like little people and you're seeing like just an army of them lined up. Like how many people went out for Tyrion Lancer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's always the argument about like trans actors. I have no idea how many trans actresses are because people are pissed about like that like cis people playing trans people. And I'm like, I totally get it.

But I also don't know what the, also I could, if you're a Hollywood actor, how many people do you think? pretend to be trans to get a role. Yeah, or how many people say that they're, I mean, be like, yeah, I, I sucked a dick in college. And it's like, no, you didn't, but you're just trying to, you know what I mean? Yeah, you can't be. It wouldn't it be better instead of, like, making sure every, like, written trans part in a movie is played by a trans person?

Wouldn't it be better if, like, just a story, like a woman, a story about a woman is played by a trans woman? Yes. But it does have, you know what? Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Wouldn't that be better? Because of their actors and actresses, it should be able to just, like, be a completely

different person. I've said it before, Wonder Woman. Hell, yeah. People aren't appointed it, but... Played by who? Caitlin Jenner. Yeah. I would watch the fuck out of that movie. I'd love, yeah, that'd be great. She's... She's...

She's yoked. Yeah. Yeah. Be perfect. People are as believable. Yeah. It's... Maybe so. And they're like, it's not... They keep in all the press. They're like, it's not about... Like, trans experience is about, like, femininity of being a woman. Then you watch the movie and there's a scene where she has to like win a swimming

competition. Wonder Woman, you're so much better at swimming than the other female swimmers. They're like, why do they include this? Did Jordan Peterson write this movie? Sponsored by Penn State. Yeah, that's what I think that.

There's a show that came out. I didn't, I watch any of it. There's one on... With Jason Segal and the love interest is a trans woman. And all I know about it, from what I've heard about it is it's not about her being trans. I think that's kind of the future

and the way to do it. There's something I was watching, I kind of agree with that because I was watching, what was it recently? But everyone's gonna get tired of movies that are just about like someone's identity.

It's so obviously just surface level. Like you have to have a good story and a connection to the character and like, sure, that can be an aspect of somebody's personality. But like if that's the focus of the movie, Yeah, it gets a little weird when they're like, you're gay and that's okay with us, pal. Yeah, you're like, what is this?

Nobody talks like that, you know, like, yeah, there was, uh, what was I, there was something I watched recently. Maybe it was there a gay superhero movie recently? There's not a really, most recent Spider-Man, I don't know. No, there was something I watched Get Out, or not Get Out, Up, wasn't any gay people in that. I watched animated movie Up? Uh, nope. Oh, no. Way too, right.

I was like, what? I mean, that kid's a little effeminate I don't know if he's gay. What would I? I see the Alex Jones documentary, there's no gay people. No gay people. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know what it was, but like I think that's kind of the move just like a superhero movie where he's banging dudes. Oh, maybe it was the boys I was watching. Is there a gay character the most recent season? I haven't seen that show.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah, Queen Mave. She's a lesbian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then that was a whole plot. I don't remember what it was. I don't know. Maybe we're just watching gay porn.

Maybe it was that. I don't know. Just do it in a way that doesn't feel forced and it's fine. They'll never do that. They stand to make so much money off of just like exploiting what people are angry about. It's also, it's also weird too the way they'll do it because they have the least offensive, offensive bad characters. Like I know that sounds fucked up, but they'll be like, there's something wrong with these homosexuals in here. I'm like, this guy's like genuinely homophobic. He's going to say fat. Like it's just like, 100%. And it's very weird when they have like, you know what I mean, something like that?

And you're like, all right, this guy, if he's a piece of shit, like, make him a real piece of shit. Right. Right. Not being like, yeah, man, I don't know. It's like, although it is not a biological decision, I do not stand with the homosexual man. Right. And you're like, if that guy has that heavy. My dad's Facebook post?

Yeah, yeah. What is this? The best is, we have a friend. I'm not going to say who. But he's dating a girl. He makes all these gay jokes. And he's dating a girl whose ex turned out to be gay. So she thinks it's like so serious.

She's like, please don't. make those jokes to me. He's like, yeah, I'm about to go blow my guy for it. She's like, no. You're not though, right? And he's like, well, I'm just fucking around. Oh, man. A bunch of people at the show that we went to

last night thought I was gay. I didn't say it to my face. He just said to buy it. Yeah, fucking shit. There are like, sometimes I'll think someone is gay for like a stereotypical reason. Like a mustache or like a stripy shirt

or glasses and a hat and stuff like that. Yeah, just keep making every, yeah. Just get on the fucking checklist there, douche. But sometimes I'll just have a feeling about someone for no reason. And sometimes people have said it to me that they thought I was gay based on my act.

And I'm like, I talk about my girlfriend the whole time. What are you talking about? But it's just like it's what, when you really like get down to how everyone feels about it, there aren't, there are like some things everyone agrees on. But there's also just,

it's up to anyone to be like, I think that guy's gay. Everyone has a different line for that. And there are a lot of, like, what's called? Like, there's a lot of dudes that are like, yeah, I'm completely straight out of sex women. I'm like, all right, buddy.

Yeah. I'll be here when you said. That's a crazy thing to just say, like out of context. No, no, no, nobody's saying that. Like, dude, I fuck so many women, dude. I love chicks. Like, there are multiple comics that I'm, yeah.

Well, there are definitely multiple comics. I'm like, that guy's just gay. And, like, everybody's kind of like, yeah, we'll wait. Or multiple people that you're like, this person's just gay. But then maybe they are, it's weird. I would, I want to talk to, like, Dan or somebody about, like, how this works with,

with Frank, not Carney. Yeah. But how it works with like the gay mannerisms and like what the science is behind that. Because it is bizarre, like the list of traits that are like identical across the board

where it's like, especially living in New York because like in Florida there was less gay people. So it's like now it's like way easier for me to know if somebody's gay than there. I mean obviously there are tons of people who aren't,

they don't fit that stereotype and they're just completely different where they like hunting. Like we had some dudes to check out this apartment. We were men and Angelina we're checking out apartments with this gay couple. And the dude had like guns on his shirt

And he was like a military guy And he had like his hat You know that look where you have your hat Push down The brim of your hat is so far down It's like a very heterosexual look Where like you're bald And then you got the front of your hat brim

And just like pushed down very far You got the serious look And he was doing He laid on the It was weird because he was like laying on the ground With like his partner Like testing out where a bed would fit And stuff like that

And they were holding hands But I was just like Oh this guy has I've never seen a gay guy with like rifles In the back of his shirt I've seen like plenty of guys like that. It's like super hyper masculine gay men. Yeah, well, it is a thing.

Yeah, yeah. But it is interesting. There's also that listed gay dudes who are like that other side of it. Yeah. That's like the best thing that's going to come out of like everyone on the internet talking about like queer culture and gayness all the time. Is this going to get to a point where people are just like, but I'm just gay but I'm just a regular guy. I don't fit into like the stereotype or do any of this.

It's just going to be like another way, like a thing. that defines nothing else about your personality. Yeah. No, I know. Yeah, like somebody like Anderson Cooper. Yeah. That would be funny, though, if Anderson Cooper just like randomly shows up in like a leather daddy outfit, you're like, all right. Bro. It'd be a little tough for us to take the news.

But I wonder if the left has to go that way, because the right has like Alex Jones, who's like going off the rails that way. It's like, what is the, there's almost no equivalent to him on the other side. Who is it? Somebody that's just, I feel like it's not like a specific person. It's just like a bunch of the crazy. those people aren't as big because they're not as like

funny and interesting their whole ad ad Alex Jones is like he's saying the craziest shit and so it's just you can't not look at it it's so much fun to watch the people in the left are just they don't even like have their own information that they're sharing

they just like play a video of Alex Jones and they're just like this is why we're better than this and it's just lame it's not like cool you know it is too it's like they're so afraid to talk about anything that they don't like I've heard like very few left-leaning people that look like they're comfortable just having a conversation being yeah it's yeah I was listening to

Andrew Yang in an interview and I was like this guy seems terrified to open his fucking mouth he's like I think that people should uh oh I don't mean like all people but like something like dude you sound that's it just talk does somebody have a fucking gun to your head you look like you're I mean I know he's seeing his career there's like a guy probably with his thumb up thumb down going like this. But you're like, that looks like a horrible way to live your life. Yeah. And that's why I choose to cut nothing from this podcast.

Absolutely. I remember people saying that they, like, hated Andrew Yang after like he was in the public guy for a while. People turned and they were like, I hate him. And it's like, like, I asked people like, what do you know about him? They're like, well, he did that thing. He said he'd give like everyone a thousand dollars. What are the biggest reason to hate a guy?

They were like, well, he also was in a video, I think. Like, you don't, you have no idea. You were told to hate it. By the way, I think he is a giant pussy, but it seems like an incredibly sweet, genuine, and intelligent guy. Sure. But it just seems like he's like... Yeah, I just...

The only reason I'd hate any of those people is because they want to be the president. I'm like, what are you insane? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something wrong with you. Yeah. If you think you should be in charge of everyone, there's probably something wrong with it.

I mean, not to get political nerdy, but like, it used to be like that. Of, like, you used to accept the nomination for the presidency, like almost like, well, all right, I'll do it. And they didn't even pick it until the fucking convention. Now, that would be so funny if the president, like, every year was just some guy. He's like, I don't want to do this guy. And they're like, you do it.

He's like, go ahead. Yeah. He's like, all right. All right. I'll do it. Yeah, it's kind of who you want. Who do you think would make an incredible president? Right now?

Not politician. Can be politician. I think Joe Biden should be the president until he dies. Yeah, dude. I tell him. So we got until next Thursday? By the way, I fucking love Hunter and I'm so tired of people shitting on him. That man lives his life

the way I've said it before on the podcast. If anybody should be smoking crack. If anybody, it's him. He has the financial resources. He's got the fucking medical benefits. He's awesome. He lives like a rock star lifestyle. Like he should be in rap songs where they're like, got that Hunter Biden money. Like the way people treated Trump

and like rap meat, like Hunter Biden should fucking take the cake on that. Like he just doesn't have it even going naked down a water slide. I'm like, dad has to be euphoric as fuck on crack cocaine. Like just sliding down. Yeah, that looks amazing.

It looks so much fun. Yeah. Everybody's like, I also probably go into your job sad as fuck. Yeah. You know?

I also like... Your dad's not even the president. Yeah, you fucking losers. Who's your dad? Yeah. Bill? He probably knows about

other ways to make you happy. The government probably has these weird little secrets. He's like, yeah, if you take a little bit of this, you rub the left side of your brain and scientific. You know, he's got...

Yeah. He's got... I guarantee you he has the best... If he is depressed, I guarantee you they have the best fucking doctors, the best psychologist, the best this, that. He has resources to everything. He doesn't mean he's happy, but. I don't have a problem with him at all. I like him. I don't, like, if...

I have the opposite problem. I fucking love it. How many, like, senator or congressman, senators have children that are just, like, complete disasters like that. Oh, a lot. Tons of them. Dude, I was talking about the, there's politician in Orlando and their son drove on acid, drove his car into somebody's house. Very prominent politician in Florida. Let's go. Yeah, yeah. But also like... Dude, that was fucking watching... I just watch random, like...

I'll go on YouTube and watch like clips of news, but it's like news channels that have like talk shows. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. Like news commentary almost. Yeah. And I watched this one, it was like a Fox News clip. And it's like five people sitting in like a half circle

talking about how the view, the show The View, tried to get Ron DeSantis on the show. And Ron DeSantis sent them like an email saying, no, and they're just dissecting the email being like, how fucking cool is this guy? And meanwhile, they're literally, they're like arranged like they are the view. Yeah, yeah. The view is so dumb. I would say equally, it's so fucking cringe.

Like, I've tried, like... It's so dumb. Yeah, yeah. It's not news at all. They're just like, this guy sent the coolest email. Yeah, yeah. The people that are on those, so like, not actual, like, politicians, but like the people that are on those shows, either side. what percentage of the things that they say

do you think they actually believe? I think depends. I think... You know what I mean? Because, like, the politicians, I think a lot of them play for, like, a lot of them, like, take money from the same people. Dude, oh, you know the funny as shit?

Think it, but I don't know about the people that are on TV are just kind of like, nah, I don't, you seem fake. There's this website called donor something. Okay, so I'm not going to get too into it, but there's a website where you can see people's political givings, and it is hilarious how many people donate to both sides.

Like it is wild, big donors, stuff like that. You're like, oh, this is interesting. You donated equal amounts of money to the Democrat and Republican Party for the exact same thing. It's crazy. You're like, this is fucking nuts. This is like dad across the board.

Yeah. Yeah, and it's, yeah. It makes sense. Yeah, it's like, oh, so many of these people are just like, yeah, I don't give a shit. They're all playing for the same. Yeah, everybody's like, whoever wins, I'm going to have, like,

my hands in their pockets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. But that's where I'm just embracing the fun side of this. I'm going to be a non-binary proud day. Okay. I want to go both sides. I guess day can be, that could be everything.

Non-binary isn't just a liberal thing. But I want to, that's not even extreme. I don't know why I said that. But I would like to, I don't know, just kind of embrace the energy of both of what's going on. Yeah. I'm down for that. Yeah, I want people to not be able to figure me out.

What the fuck is going on with that person? Yeah, that's why I dress this. well we know you're gay so it's it we figured it that pretty fast it also it feels you guys have that feeling too whereas like it feels like we're just leading to something horrible

like it feels like the momentum's going in a bad direction dude somebody broke it down I saw a TikTok the other day that it was like drawing parallels to like the geopolitical climate now to like what it was on like the eve of World War I

where it was like everybody is just like allied to very specific things and then like it's just like just needs like one powder keg moment and it's just all gonna like fucking go crazy. Yeah, yeah.

I, I could see that happening. Yeah, but if what if you read the news, they're like, someone murdered the Archduke. Be it. Who gives the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah, I don't even know what that beats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they close that club. And there are, like, actually panicked about you. Like, dude, who are you talking about? That was kind of badass. Who was it that they set up all the cameras? Like, they were going to take a family photo. And then they just switched out the cameras for guns and then just shot all of them. What?

Yeah, I think it was maybe the beginning of war. Who, what's it was? not how they killed no they killed Franz Ferdinand they shot him he shot him who was the other

what was the the Blitzkrieg thing was that Blitzkrieg was the Nazi the Varumach tactics they used in France and Russia it was like the bombing

I don't know I don't know anything yeah well this is I love to I can talk about this shit It's Craigap yeah there was a song

by the Ramon that song is so I'm just realizing now how dark that is yeah the bulk in dancing because they're the cities being destroyed.

Family. What was it? The Balkans. I'm just wrong. The Balkans? That's like a region of the world. I know, but like, an oil rich region. I know, but there was like a family in the, what led, Ferdinand was just the full thing for World War I? So essentially like they fucking, that was, they, they, the Serbians. Alex Jones is getting sued. I should get sued. The amount of misinformation.

Dude, every episode, it's like a week later. I'm like, I was, I have way off. Dude, my brother will call me. He's like, what the fuck were you talking about? He's like, your statistics were way off. I think, so, I mean, the Serbian's killed France, Ferdinand. And then because that happened, then they started a war, because they started a war, then the Germans joined the Austrian side. And because the Germans joined this side, then the British and the French had to join

this side. And then the Russians had, it was like a domino because they all had like treaties and shit. So it was like a boop. And then everybody started fighting. And then the Germans tried to invade France and they never worked out. And that's why Hitler was really like on his king. shit when he did that in World War II. They were like, they fucked up today. They finally got it,

which was fun. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's kind of an interesting part of the war, to be honest. Yeah, yeah. Like the early parts of the war of World War II, where it's just like, oh, this is not going well. That's a, pretty fun time. Well, and you know the momentum going into, you're like, this is going to... Oh, yeah. Because the Germans, they weren't allowed to...

Was it after World War I, they weren't allowed to have an army? Yeah. They were like, oh, we have the flying club. It's like a different club. Oh, yeah, they literally just had like a their top scientists who were just like, yeah, we just like planes and they were just developing the top shit for a while. Yeah. That, yeah, they

when they signed the Treaty of Versailles, which ended World War I, there were a lot of, not a lot of people, but the smartest people were like, oh, this isn't going to last. Like, this is like a 20 year postponement and then the, yeah, then obviously the cool shit happened. The cool shit. That's what you call the Holocaust?

That's cool shit. Yeah, I do sometimes like, I love World War II so much and then I'm just like, well, maybe dial it back. Yeah. It was so amazing the way the Nazis flew, the planes were interesting. I'm not talking about their political views. The planes were fascinated. Dude, I think Seinfeld has a bit, but I completely agree. They knew how to decorate a room, dude. The not, like, the Nazi interior design. A red, fucking banner looks sick. Oh, with like that dark green and gray. Symmetrically, everybody knows.

Swatical looks cool. Symmetrically, it looks cool. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. The most fun thing besides a penis to draw, and then immediately cross out. I didn't mean, I didn't mean it. It's just, it's symmetrically looks cool, but it's like, yeah, not that. Damn, dude. Do you think it's a way to make a swast to get into a Star of David if you... Let's try. Star David has six points.

I really don't think so. Swastick only has four. So you'd have to... Yeah, that'd be fun. It's a great use of my time. Yeah. My favorite thing about the Nazis is that like everyone knows all the horrendous stuff they did.

Yeah. All right, let's get to this. Let's see where this goes. And all of like those things they did like on the battlefield and all the war crimes they committed. But there were also, there was a faction of them that were, throughout the whole war, they were just searching for, like, ruins and, like,

evidence of, like, magic on Earth. Oh, yeah, yeah. And, like, UFOs and stuff. Yeah, they were really into, like, the ocular. There's some weird stuff about them going to, like, the North Pole. And, like, trying to find, like, isn't that, like, the basis for at least one of the Indiana Jones movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so funny that, yeah, they were into, like, magic and, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was just fun. You're at like a table with all the heads and head of each group of Nazis. And the Hitler's assigning them stuff. And he's just like, you kill all the Jews and you invade Poland and you, you go, magic. Yes. Yes. I thought it's magic.

I like the truth. You are on aliens and magic. Just go, you know, figure that out. They all come report back. She's like, sir, we lost 14,000 people at the battle of blah, blah, blah. And she's like, well, we didn't find the treasure chest. like, what? Once we find the stone of eternal life,

we'll have them back. I like the idea that like Hitler that's all inspired by Hitler just saw like one good magic show. He's like, I have to learn. Like he's trying to figure out. Like it was so mind-blowing. He's like, we need to figure this out.

This could take over. Dude. He thinks the allies, he's like, just doing magic. He thinks the atomic bomb is like a magic thing. When was Houdini alive? comparison on this. The 30s. Yeah. He died in the 30s.

Okay. Did he die doing a trick? He got, not really a trick. He was going to Chris Angel. He was an escape artist. He was an escape artist. He wasn't like, it wasn't like magic. It wasn't like he was an escape artist. Yeah. It's funny. Like, Houdini's like a, he is a fixture in history. And then every other guy that does that, we're like,

we're going to forget about it. You were. He was wild. I won't even watch a 30 second TikTok. You do it. Like, get out of my life. He really shouldn't be. Like, I remember we learned about it in history glass. Why the fuck are we learning about Harry Houdini? This guy just dislocated

his shoulder a bunch of times. That's really what he contributed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, yeah, it wasn't, and then he got punched in the stomach and that killed him. Yeah. Which, I don't know, has anybody else died that way? Not that I know. Did him punch in the stomach? Yeah. What did he do? He like, he

would, like, store air in his body and but he got punched in the stomach so we couldn't do that, and that's what he's around. He just farted the shit, bitch. I actually don't know how he died. I don't know. He was doing this trick where he locks himself in the like the milk crate.

Okay. And he has to hold its breath in there because there's water in there and he has to unchain himself and all this shit. And he like a guy, he used to do this trick where he would let anyone punch him in the stomach

but he'd have to like prepare himself like his body to like receive the punch. And so a guy came backstage before he did this other trick and punch him in the stomach without him knowing. Like he surprised him with it. Gotcha.

And I like fucked him up. And then when he did the milk crate thing, he just drowned. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I thought, yeah, I don't know. He, like, died doing a trick because someone punched him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know if it was that. I thought he got punched his stomach and he went laying on a couch later and then died that way.

But I don't know. I haven't thought about Harry Houdini. Ever, did you? I thought about him like three times. Yeah. He's not a... That probably wasn't his real name, right? Oh, I don't know.

Her old Houdinas? Just one letter at the end. Houdinus. It's actually Houdinus. I don't want them to know that I'm something that was racist back then. Albanians are really discriminated. So I take the ass off my name. That's a funny thing is like we to bring it full circle to like yeah, back to like Italians. Like you watch old movies or like just period pieces on like the early 20th century like. But I don't have no Polacks come to this neighborhood. Yeah.

They like care about. So it's just like so we're the only white like Irish people weren't even like like the only white like the only white people that you. I agree, Matt. We've been impressed. It's time to rise up. Thank you. No, it was just British people. Yeah, yeah.

The British people looked down on the Scots. They looked down on the Italians. Like, people that could pack, like, are white. And they're the dumbest looking people. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, but then Irish people came here and they were pretty racist. Yeah. For sure.

At the time they got to America, they were terrible. Yeah, that's always the thing. It's like, once you get there, then you're like, no more of these guys. It's so fun. I remember in, like, I took, like, CCD classes. You know what those are? No. It's like Sunday school.

school pretty much. Hell yeah. So on like Tuesday nights, I'd go to like church and have like a lesson about religion taught to me by like either a priest or like... I would go to some of this stuff. It's so depressing. I don't know what it was about being in a school-like environment after school. Like I'd have to go to Boy Scout meetings at night, which was in a church.

The worst shit ever. Dude, you're like, why am I still in a building right now that's not my house? And it's dark. It was the most depressing thing. Hopefully your mom would get you ice cream afterwards. Do your thing, and then I got to... But I remember fucking... This one teacher I had,

he was, like, at a retired New York City police officer. And he was like, it's just a classic Irish Catholic dude. Like, very quiet, but just, like, brimming with hatred. So angry all the time. But he never, like, expressed it. He was, like, quiet.

But he would talk, you know, the classes sometimes about how, like, Irish Catholic people were, like, oppressed. And how, like, people are after us. And then if you ever hear Ryan talk about it, it's the funniest shit in the world. Ryan will say, like, people in Boston, like,

there's no, there was only one Irish president he got fucking shot. People really love to be like, we're the most depressed. Of the white people. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Very much so. Yeah, but it's funny. Like, I obviously was raised pretty Christian, but like, not Catholic.

And I'm that, I get, talking to Catholic people, I'm just like, oh yeah, I get white people hate that shit. You know,

like, My church experience was like we would go on Sunday nights and we would play dodgeball in the gym and then like say a prayer and go home. Yeah. A lot of times being Christian sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah, it was dope. I had a great time. Like my best friends were there. You got to talk to some cute girls. Like it was fun. That's great. Yeah. Well, I was, I've been raised in a lot of churches. So I've been to the variety of churches. I've been to Presbyterian like youth group. Yeah. That's pretty close to what I was. I had a problem with it though because the dude started talking about non-sex poor marriage and I immediately was telling my dad, I'm like, I don't fuck with this.

I was like, this is not cool. I'm 13 and I'm fucking. Yeah, yeah, that guy cannot tell me. Okay, he's cool. I agree, he's cool. Right, Abercombe, you sure, I like how he plays electric guitar. That's sick. The beanbag chair is badass.

I like we can play ping pong. He almost had me, but then he brought up the sex and I am out. And it was so funny. I remember he showed us a picture of like Rachel's, the strip club in Orlando. He goes, they call this place a gentleman's club, right? Kind of men that go in there. Far from gentlemen. And I remember knowing at the time, I was like,

come on. That was his big line. Yeah, yeah. I remember when I was in like eighth grade and I was getting confirmed. I was like, my mom, my dad wasn't ever religious. My mom was like,

it was important to her like, I got confirmed. And I was just like making a huge stink about it. I was like, I don't want to be confirmed. The Catholic religion, Roman Catholic church, disgusting.

And my dad, who's like not religious at all, was like, just fucking do it. It's not like on your license that you got confirmed. you're like, I know what you guys did in the medieval times. They're like, what the fuck is this kid talking about?

Yeah, I did. My confession was that I told a dirty joke and I had to like go in there and I was like, he was like, oh, okay. And I was like, it's so funny that that was like, they had to make up shit because he's a kid. There's not really a lot of crimes you do. Yeah, dude. You know what I mean?

Like disobeying your parents. I hate that whole mentality. Oh, it's like, that's like, I think that leads to like, that whole adults are the, this is going to probably sound bad, but I think that culture leads in somewhat to molestation. That whole, like, adults are... You're going to go out on a limb and say that the Catholic Church

needs to... No, no, no, no. It's my hot take. No, no, no. It's pretty bold. But the whole, like, always listen to adults, that whole, like, thing. Because I think that, like, you know what I mean?

Like, dude, I think you should teach kids about sex and molestation right off the bat. I'm not saying knowing about it, for sure, is, like, obviously, you're powerless in that situation. But I think that there are, like, probably moments before where kids can be like, I think this guy's a pedophile. And then they'll be like, I wish the people I was in like Catholic school classes with were funny enough to be like, let's all say the worst. Let's say you all like the first confession we ever did. Like let's say the worst things we can think of and try to like one up each other.

So the priest leaves and he's like, oh my God. These kids are fucked up. I thought I was a monster. because they're fucking horrible. We had the opposite. So like, like, Protestant doesn't have confession that it's just like, that we,

he wasn't even that. We would just like take prayer requests like towards the end of youth group or whatever and like sometimes people would be like, yeah, like my mom has cancer and pray for them. And they're like, okay, cool.

And then every now and then a kid would just like raise his hand and be like, oh, I have an unspoken request. I'm like, you pussy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just say you're jerked off. That's what that meant.

Yeah, yeah. Nobody wanted to, shut up. fucking say it. Yeah, that is... I hated that. I jerked off. Yeah, that's what it was.

You were 11. What's your unspoken request? You're dealing with the weight of the world? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It bothered me. Yeah. But the Catholic stuff...

Yeah, the only cool things we had donuts after it, but I don't know. I wasn't like... I know. And then also going to that funeral and having the priest being like, yeah, I don't know if your friend's gonna go to heaven or not, but I killed himself.

And I'm like, all right. Wow, dude. Yeah. A little harsh. Christ. Yeah, yeah, that was fucking wild. It was hilarious. But, like, you're like, geez.

To be fair, he for sure saw the look on our face. Started backtracking. He's like, you know, to be fair, I don't know if I'm going to go to heaven. So, uh, and you're like, oh, are you? What's going on here? Um, was he that Irish? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. And, like, I think he's a good-hearted guy. I think it's just like, I don't know. I think all of that shit. Listen, I think I by no means think you're silly if you're religious. But I think religion is silly. Like, I don't, not all of it, but like the, the, the, It's like, I think there are lots of great parts of the Bible that are great messages.

Same with the Koran and the Jewish one, the Torah. But it's like, I think you should be able to say, I think this concept is wild. But like, it's like, dude, Ben Carson is a scientist and he's Christian. So I'm by no means saying you're stupid if you're a Christian, you're stupid. But like, I think the documents themselves are just. I think when it gets silly. It doesn't get silly, but it gets bad when you're not allowed to, when anything, you have to follow blindly and can't ask questions about it.

But to be fair, I grew up in a bunch of different Christian churches. I've never once had them be like, no questions. I just, just their explanations were kind of nonsensical. Sure. Like, it's like, I've Googled why the Holocaust happened from a Christian perspective, and it's like, you can't get one answer that's not

sidestepping so far. They're like, well, I mean, you know, uh, it's, every answer is so far out there. And I'm like, can you just give me a straight, reasonable answer? Like, honestly, if you were like, God doesn't like you. I disagree with that perspective. Sure.

But there's more, that makes, you're not even on topic most of the time when you hear people like trying to explain those horrific events. And you're like, especially that situation. This guy's a priest. And he's like, yeah, your friends, you know, killed himself.

He's going to hell. And he didn't say that, but he's like, you know, and he just no positive, like, you're like, what, sure. You're like, you should be smart enough if you've versed this to say something to us that's, you know, I mean, you're basically just like, you know this whole religion.

You can't think of like one, I don't know. It gets, it gets difficult. I remember when I was younger, they were like, they had like, the monseigneur or whatever, the priests that had been at this church forever, died. And so they had like younger priests come in.

And they were just cooler to the point where I was like, I don't think these guys like believe in this. Yeah. They're just like, like free like lodging. Yeah, yeah. Free food. They're just hanging out.

Yeah. The one in, the one in Orlando is funny because there was like, there's a Haitian priest. Yeah. Who's very hard to understand. And then there's an Irish. priest that's very hard to understand. So like every other one, you're like, what is the story here?

I can't tell what's happening. Dude, my grandmother, every time my like the parish I went to, every like once a year, they'd have a guest, like, priest come from somewhere else in the world. Yeah. And this one time the priest that came was from, I forget which country. It was a country in Africa. He's like African. And he came and then my grandmother would have them for dinner because it was around like Christmas time so to have him like for Christmas dinner and this like the African priest

when he had dinner anytime I'd get up from the table he would look at me and be like point to his glass or point to his food and my grandma would be like just go get it just go.

Oh he'd be stabbing free to go get him food? Yeah he'd like look at me and just be like have like an empty glass and be like wow that's in your house? In my grandmother's house oh fuck that

that's stupid. It's honestly for one night it's interesting to be like all right. You will make a great child soldier. Yeah. Damn. He's got you wearing camo uniform the next day now. That's only in certain

I've only read one book about Africa. So I am so uneducated on everything. So for me to not go based on stereotypes, I guess I got to learn more. That's the I mean, you know, wherever that guy's from, it's like if you're child, it's like you, an adult needs

something, you're going to go get it for that. Oh, for sure. Yeah. If you're just playing around, it's like, go get me a glass of water. Yeah, I don't know, you know, whatever. I'll do it. I wasn't like upset or anything. Yeah, but the second that guy is a bedophile, that's an issue. Right? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Come here. What? Seems like a problem, yeah.

What are your thoughts now? You're religious now? I'm agnostic, I would say now. I pray, but I was like, I'm kind of like, I hope you're out there if you are. I would say I lean. I would still probably say I lean Christian. I don't think I'm actively like, I don't go to like church and shit. But like when I was in Ohio like I went to church and played me like played in the

band there and had a good time. So yeah. After I just shat on your. No. I don't, I think it's fine. I think it's I find it very interesting to talk about because there are like I mean there's contradictions within a bunch of stuff and I but I think the what I will say is that like especially like in the like

Western society I think we haven't found a good replacement for religion. Like and I think that like the morals that teaches are incorrect. Morals, but also like a sense of community and like somewhat of a one thing that everybody could agree on, that like we would all be like, okay, this kind of a thing

and we can all, like, yeah, we have our differences, but we kind of all are working towards some sort of a thing. And I think it's so splintered now and there's not like a common thing that ties anybody together. That's a great point because if you hate your neighbor and you guys go to church together, there's got to be some aspect where you see them there.

You're like, you know what? Sure. It's probably not that bad of a guy. Sure. Brings you together. Yeah, or like, okay, well, God, but okay, sure. Let's all, we're all kind of thinking about

kind of the same things. And not that, I don't even think it has to be the same religion. But I think that like people, human beings are going to follow and do something that will effectively become their religion. Yeah, like it doesn't have to be. You know what I think it should be?

I think once a month every, like the government will organize this. Once a month. This already sounds bad. Shut up. Not in my country. Once a month, the government will organize a team building exercise for you and like

20 random strangers that you don't know and then you go it's like a one day out of your week you get off of work and you go and do this team building exercise and over time that builds a sense of community

even with people you've never met yeah I mean I would do that in this like you did lose me though when you said the government gets us to this sound who else would do it I don't maybe there's a benefit though maybe you're right everyone

all right it's not the government then it's just a It's just a platform that everyone's... It has to be not something you're forced to do, but something you're incentivized to do. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't mean forced.

You get a fucking day off of work. Yeah. You get a day off work and you go to an escape room with a bunch of people you never met before. Yeah, that sounds great. I think it'd be cool. Especially like, I mean, I have lived in the same building for four years. I don't know anybody that lives in my building.

Do nobody. Yeah. No idea. Besides this little Hispanic woman who I help up the stairs sometimes, and I feel like if she doesn't, she's going to be to occur or something or something. Yeah. But that's the only person.

I know, but it's so cool because she has a walker, and I'll see her just way too a different part of town, like hanging out with a group of friends. I'm like, that's kind of awesome that you made it all the way over here. Yeah. And you have friends. I feel the same way when I see like one of the six homeless people that are around like West Forth all the time. And then you see them like on 40 seconds. You're like, what? Yeah, you really get some coverage. Yeah, I guess you can just ride the subway like the rest of us. Yeah, yeah. You can get around too. Well, I also think in New York, it's harder to find a sense of community than other places. Sure. It's like back home, you're like, oh, I know this person from this, that.

Well, everybody's also just like, it's so fucking, everybody's looking, and it's like, if you come up and talk to me, I'm already, like, I don't want to talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if it's a setting where we can, it's like, that's like, that's what's expected, I'm down for that. Yeah, that'd be cool with that. Yeah, that's, that's, that's a good idea,

I mean, I think that's, that's why people fucking love sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's why people go to a bar to watch sports. You know what's a similar one? Yeah. Like, you ever, you ever see a concert, people started to get into fight, and they're like, wait, no, we're here to go see Ed Shearing. Or, dude.

I mean, there's not a fight's breaking out of Ed Shearred, but like, you know. Bro, bro. Yeah. We both love Ed Shear. Yeah. What would they, what would a fight be about at an Ed Shearren concert? Just like, spilled my ice coffee or, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

Probably two moms. Who is just crying harder? Right. Yeah, it's really fake crying there. Somebody fake cried to get pussy in Ed Sheard. You're not actually a pussy, dude. Fuck, I'm such a pussy. Ha, fuck, I'm such a pussy.

concerts are actually weird. Like, if you think about it, like whenever, if it's like an emotional song and like 10,000 people are like feeling something at the same time, like that's fucking weird. It's a lot like my sets. Yeah. I only get that at comedy shows.

At concerts, I don't. If I go to a concert for a band I like, I'll look around me and I'm like, these people like it? I have a problem where like I, especially if it's like the, if I really like a band, it's the first time I've seen them. I'm almost not even enjoying the concert. I'm like really watching them to like, oh, okay, that's cool.

Because I also play music. So I'm like, oh, I like what he's doing. That's cool over there. Oh, look at the lights. I'm like watching. I'm analyzing as opposed to really enjoy it. I'm actually just like analyzing it from like an artist's perspective. I did all the keys a little bit.

I've been there, you know? I've been sitting on that bench. If they asked me to come up there, I would. I mean, I'm ready to play. I'm ready to play the song. I saw that. That was my favorite thing I saw at a Blink 182 concert. They're like, hey, who knows how to play?

What's it called? Like, uh, I think you- or something like that. And some guy gets up there and then he, they put the guitar on him. And then he whispers, he goes, I actually don't know how to play it.

And they go, why'd you lie? They go, get the fuck out of here. It was the funniest thing. Some other guy came on stage to play it. Oh, then Travis Barker's son came out and played,

which is cool because he's like, some 10-year-old kid just like rocking the fuck down on drums. I've seen, I watch it probably, no, I was going to say once in a month, that's too often. But like, at least once a year, there's a dope video of a kid at a Food Fighters concert. I think I've seen this one. I think they're playing monkey wrench or pretender.

And like he just gets up there and just, he's dressed like he's in fucking kiss. And he just rips it. It's so funny that these kids have their passion to do that. Yeah. Because they're a kid. It's like, unless there has to be some darkness behind that kid maybe. Sure. Or, because it's like, it's really funny that kid's like getting that out.

And he's like, yeah, I'm thinking about my mom, not letting me play video games. Like, that's what he's like, because you have to have some sense of heart when you're playing music. Yeah. But like nothing on your, like, I remember I play acoustic guitar and I'd be like, this is for that fucking girlfriend. And it'd be like in fifth grade or something like that. Like it's like, you have to, but you can't do that if you don't have that in your heart a little bit. Yeah. You said you get it at comedy shows.

I get, I get what you're saying too. But the community, I feel more at a comedy show. Uh-huh. Because I think it's a decision when you're at a concert to really like get into it. I don't believe most people when I. I see them really enjoying music like that. Sure. Yeah.

Just like, come on, dude. But if you're laughing, it's involuntary. Yeah. So I really feel it there. And you kind of going skeptical to comedy. A lot of people were like,

I don't know, is this guy actually, that's the ones that we do. Oh, yeah. Barton officer. That's my favorite thing people go, is it actually going to be funny?

And I'm like, what a dumb question. Because I'm going to lie to your fucking stupid face. Yeah. We kind of suck right now. We're not that good. Yeah.

But I'm going to tell you it's great. Either way. So it's like, what is dumb question. But also, I was that person one time reluctantly. I went to Elektra Daisy Carnival reluctantly, which was a hilarious thing to go to if you don't really want to go. Reluctantly?

Yes. This sounds like a place that people just drop acid and go to. Oh yeah, it's a full. So it's like I was really into raves in high school. And then I got into college and I like thought I grew out of it. Because what happened at least where I grew up was like you got into raves. And then when you got into college, you're kind of like, I'm into jam bands now. Like there was this weird thing where like every older guy would like go to Bonaro and come back.

can be like, no, you guys don't even know what it's like to go see fish or widespread panic. So that would start to be the thing. And then so I was sort of in that dumb phase. Now I love EDM again. But I went to EDC and I was just reluctantly. Like I, I remember I took some Xanax and I started drinking. And then I reluctantly was just like on Molly. And I'm like, man, this is so.

But then I had a great time because I never taken Molly with Xanax. And it makes you not care about the nerves of being on that. I don't have taken either, alone at the same time. Phenomenal combo. Probably very dangerous. I threw up a bunch. I blacked out also.

I don't remember the concert at all. What's up? I said, is that the sickest you've ever been? Yes, just bring it back. I threw up at a porta potty and man,

but I remember just being like, is this what people feel like when they normally take Molly? Because I don't feel any anxiety, but just because I was drunken on Xanax also. But phenomenal combo. But I remember that was kind of like one of those things where I was like,

I was like, I remember texting people. These people were having a fantastic time. And I was just probably... You're the guy at the comedy show that's just like, mm-hmm. It's like, well, you're here. Nobody made you.

Yeah, I was being such a fucking bitch about it. Yeah, I thought I was above it. And then now I'm like, you know, I'd love to go to a fucking EDM concert. Yeah. I like that music. Yeah. I don't like Molly anymore.

I don't really do that, but yeah. Yeah. I also, I don't like, if a concert's really getting people riled up, I don't like being in a crowd of people where, like, something could go wrong. Oh, so you don't like rock or like hardcore shows or anything like that? Because I've been to a lot of those. Like punk shows are just like hardcore shows in general.

Like mosh pits and shit like that. Those are, I find, I can have fun with those. A mosh pit is different because that's like controlled. It's like, do you all go to there with the intention to do that. Sure. You're talking about like a fucking like Woodstock 99 type shit. That kind of thing. Where it's like, the energy is shifting and you're like, this is really untenable.

If somebody says something, a hundredstocker. 100 people are going to get in a fight type of, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. Well, also, the hard part about EDM concerts, though, so an ADM concert, I like, but a festival is horrible because they don't run their track list by each other. So you've heard the same remix 10 times because they're going to play, they're like, oh, this is that new remix of that rap song or this is like that new remix of that Calvin Harris song. And you're going to hear that song literally, I think I count on one

song like, literally like eight times. And like, this sucks because they didn't run anything by each other. Like, I mean, comedians, it's like, well, sometimes it, but it's like, I don't No, it's probably the same if you go to a comedy festival where you're like, all right, we get it. You've got a dick. Have you ever been to a country concert? Yes. Country concerts, as I've gotten older, are really fun.

I don't like country, but I had a blast the country concert. Yes. It was a free concert. By the way, Orlando does this sick thing where, like, they have downtown concerts. It's a free, and like, that's the shit. Yeah, just like a, they close off like six blocks and it's, yeah. Outdoor free concert is this shit. I think, I don't know if you, you probably do that somewhere and maybe like the park.

I don't know, it's a nicer feeling than being inside of like a venue. You feel more free. Yeah. But they went to, it was free for like a, it was one of the most fun weekends of my life. Because what happened was like there was a hurricane in Tallahassee. So all the power got shut out. And it missed Orlando. And the Florida State is in Tallahassee.

And then Orlando is like central Florida. And so I'm from Orlando. So I was like, let's just all go to my parents' house and go to the football game this weekend. And so like the whole town is like imagine your whole college town is in your hometown. Damn. So you're like, oh, I can go to my parents and get food. That's awesome. Have my sister drive me around.

She liked that. But also it's like, yeah, all my college friends are here too. And they had, what was his name? It was just some popular country guy. But it was great. It was fun. Sure. The whole attitude's like very like, people aren't getting each other's faces.

It's more laid back. Bring a blonde chair and stuff like that. It's just chicks and high shorts and low shirts and beer. Yeah. That's really, that's kind of the vibe. I saw Jake zoning out so fun. Yeah, you guys are talking about something. I'm just like, I hate that.

Not in that. I don't want to do it. I hate college. I like old country music and I like folk music. Yeah. The new or kind of like corporate country stuff is garbage to be. Corporate country. Agreed.

Be nice to your office friends. Judy N.H.R. has got some good points about COVID protocol. No, but I get, I get what you're saying. I kind of like... Put my pickup into the handicapped spot. But... That's a no.

No, no. I get what you're saying, because I kind of like... The country I don't like is the kind of like... It's North Korea. Yes. It's a country I don't like. But they're like, it's about family.

I'm like, that's kind of lame. I like the country like Charlie Daniel, like the outlaw kind of country. It's like, yeah, we're bunch of fucking... Charlie Daniels fucking Johnny Cash kind of thing. Yeah, I like that. because it's a little more reckless. Like Grand Ole Lopry

stuff. Waylon Jennings and whatnot. I love those guys. That's what makes that Bo Burnham bit so funny. Like talking about how like it's, they're just playing Madlib with the words that they know

are gonna like actually sell tickets. Oh yeah. Where it's just like Bud Light, truck, dirt road and it's just all of that shit. That's my thing. Yeah. I like that. Yeah.

It's honestly any country song you've heard in like a jackass movie, I love. Yeah, I'm kind of on board. old school country and some of them are just like the goofiest songs. Yeah, yeah. Like, there's a party in my pants and you're invited.

Shit's so good. Yeah, those are great. We're running on an hour. What do you guys want to promote? By the way, I want to apologize. I brought Eli Hobb on the last episode, and I said at the end of the episode, he'll say three bad things about me. And we had to cut it off early.

So I was going to have him call him, but I guess he didn't call us. Oh, dude, that guy sucks anyways. Yeah, yeah. Could we run a few minutes long and I and then cut out apart? of this? Yeah, yeah. Well, no, no, no, we don't have, we can cut out a part of it no matter what.

Okay, yeah, no problem. Yeah, yeah, we're good. Let's leave this part in, though. So they know we cut out of part. Are you cool if we leave it apart with knowing we cut out a part? Or do we cut out the part where we talk about cutting out apart? I don't care. All right, so we leave this in.

As long as we cut out the thing, I'll tell you after the recording. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. This is very meta. Well, the best part is they'll never know what it is. 100%. It's cut out. That's great. The worst, I will say it is bad, though, when, like,

to make a compilation of like things I asked to get cut on the podcast. And most of the things are like, oh, I said somebody's name. Like, I rarely, at this point, I'm just putting everything out there. I'm kind of like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. It's like, I'm really rarely being like, this is too much. I got to take this out. Like, there's almost a zero times that I've been like, ah, this is.

Yeah. I did a podcast with TJ last week. It was probably the worst, all of the worst things I've ever said into a microphone. Wow. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. This is a little one of my favorite episodes.

But they've heard of this. What do you want to promote? I've come to, I'm headlining. in Vermont, August 20th and then I'm going to be in Providence the night before at the George, Providence, Rhode Island. Okay, sweet. Do you want to lie about dates as well?

What do you? Yeah, I'm actually headlining in Vermont the night before him. Yeah. I'm actually doing Jake's act. I'm doing all of his jokes. By the way, that is badass. How much time are you doing 45 or an hour?

45 to an hour, yeah. Shit, that's fucking awesome, man. Yeah, I'm very excited. Yeah, I'm just around the city doing a bunch of stuff. I'm on a show tomorrow. But check his Instagram. Are you cool? They check your Instagram for... Matt Bowman comedy.

Please follow me. He's very funny. I'm trying to put up more stuff. I'm starting a new podcast that's just me called Matt Bowman is bothered. That'll be fun. I might have some of these guys on at some point. So I'm going to have a good time. All right.

Thanks, guys.