Morning Good - I'm Vince Neil's Grandson - Episode 173

Episode Date: June 4, 2023

Jonathan Tillson and Ryan O'Toole join the show for today's episode. They talk hearing racial slurs in plays versus movies, witnessing the Boston Marathon bombing first hand, and how far back in time you can fondly recall sexual encounters without being a pedophile.Thanks to Ryan O'Toole for coming back on the show and to Jonathan Tillson for joining us for the first time. Ryan's been on a bunch of previous episodes, so check those out and click the links below for even more.Jonathan is on Instagram @jonathantillson and co-hosts Explaining Show with former guest and friend of the show Alan Fitzgerald. Ryan is on Instagram as well @itsryanotoole and hosts The Ryan O'Toole Podcast. He also live stream reviews items every Tuesday for  Amazon.com. Info on that and more on in his Instagram. As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. Love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? Morning good? I love that. Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front.

Welcome to morning. Hey, the lights. We're here with Rhino Tool. Say something. Something. All right, there we go. And Jonathan Tillison. Tilsen or Tilsson?

Tilsson. I don't know. He's lived here long enough. I know, right? Two fucking syllables, dog. Yeah, I don't know. But, yeah, the setup always looks like it's like a snowd, one of those Snowden interviews, where it's just like him in a hotel room with someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's still in Russia, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a weird. It's like, it's interesting that he, like, because if you get fucked, you have to go to a country that United States hates, which that's what kind of sucks. Yeah, obviously. Because you can't go to, like, somewhere fun. Like, I can't really go to France. He has to feed them information that will allow him to stay there and not get

Is that what he's doing? An ally will just give you back. An ally will just give you back. Yeah, yeah. So you got to go like North Korea. Yeah. You're right. You're right.

An ally would give him back. But that being said, Russia will also embrace him there because he wants to also talk. Russia obviously wants to know more about the United States. Oh, yeah. His information's old at this point though. Yeah. He's like, hey, did you know that like, yeah. But he could at least give you.

You know what happened back in 2009? No, but he can at least give you the inner workans and say who people are. He's already done it, though. He's already done it. I know. You're right. Yeah. It's just to stick it to America.

Sure. But he could also continuously do that too. I went to a protest in Scotland for Julian Assange. Who was he again? He was a similar whistleblower as well. He was a whistleblower and stuff. He's actually in custody, though. I'm all for all whistleblowers.

Like, even leaking your ex-girlfriend's news. Any form of this. Just blow up? Yeah. Who was fucking Julian Assange? Panel Anderson, I believe. Yeah. She was visiting him in the embassy.

Oh, that rules, dude. Well, she was, this is like two or three years ago. You know, it's still cool. I don't care. She's not. She could be like a thousand years old and because of her giant fake tits. I agree with you. If someone was once just amazing, that still counts for something even once they're trash.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. It's also like, like, I think it's different. I think giant fake tits will always look funny and kind of still good on old ladies. Yeah, but I don't mean. It's like the one thing that like, I don't know if I agree. The face, not as much. The face is going back.

Well, she looks like an old person now. I was at the, I was at the airport in London like a couple months ago. And her book was in like a store and I had like, my flight got delayed. So I was like, you know what? I'll read this Pamela Anderson book for like two hours, dude. Wasn't that bad. I banged out like a quarter of, maybe half the book. Oh, really?

Yeah, I was talking about how Tommy Lee used to just like beat the shit out of her in front of her kids. That's pretty much. Dang. Yeah. But she's so much plastic surgery. She's probably fine. Just like the. Michael, can I sit next to you?

Can I sit next to someone who doesn't read Pamela Anderson memoirs? Fuck you. What's the last fucking bookie? What's the last book you read? It was actually, it was a Jenny McCarthy movie on. Thank you very much. Dude, I was sitting there was just a bookstore there and I was like, you know what?

I'll see what this is about. Yeah, he's gross. Like, I like Motley Crew, but that, they're disgust. Like, it's like, they were really cool in the 80s and then like now it's just disgusting. They're like, yeah, like that whole attitude is. Fucking hair metal doesn't age well. Terribly. You got to be young.

For sure. You know, sleeve tattoos, big fucking, you know, like blonde hair. Like, it's cool when you're 26. Yeah. When you're fucking, when you're Vince Neal now, God. Have you seen him? I saw him at a concert. Oh, it looks terrible.

Who's Vince Nail? He's a lead singer, Molly crew. Yeah. Fat is shit. Yeah. We, it was a free concert. So, then there was like homeless dudes there. So, like, doing Coke installs and like hanging out.

Because they're the only ones having fun. Homeless guys doing Coke? No, no, no, no. I was going to say. That's fucking Ritsy homeless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, we were doing Coke and stall and then hanging out with the homeless guys,

which were probably on cracks. We were kind of on the same level, but not quite. Same idea. But, yeah, all the old people there were, like, lame and this woman's like, lay off the speed, kid. I was like, it's fucking Coke, bitch.

Yeah, it's fucking Coke, fucking bitch. I'm fucking Vince Neil's grandson. I hate when old people try telling you, like, what to do, like shit like that, like lay off the stuff. I hate when anybody tells you. Sure, me too. But especially old people.

Even when it works, like, for my own self-interest. Like, people be like, hey, you shouldn't eat that. I'm like, fuck you. What's this podcast called again? Teenage angst? Yeah. I'm my own man.

I'm true. It's true. But I think you and I are both like that where it infuriates me for somebody to tell me what to do. Yeah. It's weird because sexually I kind of like being told what to do. Yeah. It reverses there. Now we're getting into it.

Yeah. That is a common thing. It's like people have their fetishes are like reversed where they like in real life. So like I hate the doctor's office, but I think the doctor's like, Dr. Porn is hot. he likes being told what to do get over here and suck my dick that's an order that's an order

cadet do it yeah what what uh what country though would you get like if you're getting fucking uh kicked out of the United States if I was a traitor to the state

yeah yeah yeah where would I go I always plan this I think the first thing I'm doing is shaving my head because they're looking for a guy with brown hair not a guy with nowhere

I know it's the simplest move well that's the easy yeah no shit the best thing thing you can do is have long hair and a beard. When you betray the state. Yes. And then you can cut it all up. It takes much longer to grow it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stay in my apartment for a couple weeks. But the five, but the when you, if you can manage to hide out for a long time and then grow everything, then that that's also a huge benefit. Yeah, but they need time. You know, there's a picture Edward Snowdy coming back with glasses and like the mustache in the nose. Yeah. Exactly. It's not me. It's someone else. Yeah. Yeah, but they can, they can take that into consideration when you've been, you know, gone for three months. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're going to be like, okay, he's probably going to have longer hair.

That was, he's been gone a beard length of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he, uh, yeah, he looks exactly the same, though. It would have to be, I would go somewhere nice. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, if I had the choice, it would be like a place where the weather's wrong. Yeah, and your dollar can go further. So, like, if you could find a nice area of the third world. India, but you stand out being a white person there, but it would be somewhere. That's why you put on brown face. Yeah. You wouldn't have to do brown face, so you'd have to do like brown body. Guys, short circuit.

You ever see that movie? No. Short circuit. Came out in the early 90s. White guy wearing brown face played an Indian character. Okay? I saw this recently. I watched the movie originally, though.

I had no idea it was a white guy. Oh, is that good? If it's that good, who's getting hurt? Nobody. Who's getting hurt? I don't understand. I've said that before. I say it once a week.

I have said that before. Like what the whole Robben-Downy thing like everyone's like, oh, you can't do that now, you can't do that now. I think nobody's told him he can't do. I know, but what's wrong? What is? I understand the rationale. Why?

What is it? Because I don't understand. I don't know. I just think at a certain point someone has a switch in their head and they decide if it should be flipped. Yeah, yeah. I think there's just a switch. And it's like, you know what?

I can be on the right side of history. I can be moral if I flip the switch. Yeah, but what's immoral? about, like, do you think what Robert Downey did was immoral? What's the argument? Let's start here. Do you think a menstrual show is racist? A what show? A menstrual show? A menstrual show. This is why you don't think it's racist. So, the menstrual shows were in like... A guy pretends to be a girl?

No, no, no, no. White dudes would put on blackface, like, shoe polish and do like super racist. Yes, 100%. But if you're just like, say if, say if I'm an actor, if I was just... No, no, no. So what I'm saying is there was years of that. Yes. And so it's kind of like... Yeah. they ruined it for everybody else. So that's one of the things where it's like, but I get what you're saying. You're like,

don't know if you're just like, what if I just wanted to be like, like, I don't know, Will Smith in that movie where he's poor and then he fights and gets a good job. For Halloween. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, I think the whole answer is this. It's like, I think in theory, it's not racist. In practice, it is.

So it's like on paper, blackface is not racist. You're just doing somebody else. But it depends on. how you're doing it. So if you're doing like a really like a really bad black voice and then you're like bugging your eyes out like yeah. Well, what if he'd be in a crazy black dude? But but to me there are two fucking very clear differences. There is black face which is just shoe polish. Yeah. Yeah. And that is race. That's black face. Okay. But when someone is literally, uh, trying get the whole

body is painting. That's not black face. And either you're black body. It's a funny. It's a black body. Well, I just mean it's you're supposed to because blackface, you're not supposed to actually, no one's mistaking you for a black person. I think I've had like seven black guests in this whole podcast. I'm just, listen, I'm not saying. So what you're saying I would do either. When you do black face, you're not pretending to be a black person. It's supposed to just be insulting to black people. That's what it is.

No, you're no one's supposed to mistake you for black when you have pink lips. You're being a clown. What I'm saying, when you're Robert Downey Jr. You're literally supposed to be a black character. Okay. Yeah. So like, you're not. Well, no, no.

Well, I would say the opposite slightly. So I'd say what he's doing is... It's supposed to be a white guy being a black guy. Yeah, yeah. So what he's doing is not technically black face. But also, like, other example, Jimmy fell in and all got in trouble for being Chris Rock in an episode. He was not just racist black face.

He was supposed to actually look like Chris Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is silly because obviously he's not going to look exactly like Chris Rock. Is it hateful? Maybe you could argue down the line it's embedded in hate. No, no, no. But it's not... I don't think he thought it was hateful.

No, no. And I would argue this. If you... Robert Downey Jr. played a guy. doing blackface. If you could play a guy who owns slaves, owning slaves is more racist than being black. So technically your character

is less racist. But it's hard because blackface is one of the few things where you're doing the thing that the character is doing, which is hard. And now, I don't think there's anything wrong with it morally because he's doing, he's making fun of white people. He's making fun of like method actors. Well, that's where I'm just,

it's art. Yeah. Yeah. It's art. And if you put confine. Max, please don't episode title this blackface is art. Titles of what I never know what it is. I just mean like if you put boundaries on what you can do, then it just stifles fucking creativity. Yeah.

It's like I fully support your right to hate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't even, I don't even fault you if you hate it. For sure. But I just been like, you leave it be though. Like I can't really be offended at shit. But like, if I was offended over something, I don't think I would want to take it down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Easier for me to say. Yeah, because I haven't seen anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, 12 years of slave, my people would have never done this. Oh, you know what did offend me, though? Was the littlest thing, I actually forgot what it was. Anyways, 12 years.

I totally forgot what it was. It was important. I completely forgot what it was. But, yeah, no, I think it's all about intention. Yeah, I think it's like somebody could do it again down the road and make it happen. Dude, if they release it. a movie where like I don't know who's a phenomenal actor

like Robert De Niro like did the best blackface and like played MLK or something like that they could probably get away with it slightly I don't know I don't know well dude I mean just take it to other things like Lord of the Rings those guys were not dwarves playing dwarves they were not they were not sure and that's why

in theory it's not right it's just like years of that and then yeah the years the Metro shows it is it is and then you're like all right they're similar but maybe it's wrong on black people for stereotyping modern white actors doing blackface and saying they're the same as the menstrual show actors. That's a good point. A million percent.

That's a good point. I stand by that. It's wrong of them. Well, I just been, I don't think Jimmy Fallon's racist. In fact, I'd be funny. You get trouble for like saying the N-word and you're like, oh, are you stereotyping me as a racist now? You just reverse it completely? That was our word first. Yeah. Yeah. We invented it. You think just because I'm

white, I'm racist? That was a gift. I had a dude, I did a, I did a monologue in acting school that had the N-word in it. Acting school. Hold on. Yeah. Who are you, Ryan O'Toole? You went to acting school just to say the N-word? A hundred percent.

Once I realized I could say whatever I want on stage, I was like, I will fucking absolutely be him. What was Ryan O'Toole? But they took... He likes Shakespeare or stuff. They took my fucking Shakespeare, a big N-word, use it, by the way, too. Wait, really? Probably.

He was around 600 years ago. You had a different word, though. Those were the times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about the good old days. I did this play in the monologue, and it said the N-word. And it wasn't even just the N-word. It was like big-lipped fucking, like, yeah, it like set it up.

Like, I was a terrible person. You know what I mean? No, the play was, it was called Burn This. It was on Broadway a couple of years ago. But I had like an original version. I think this play was published in like the late 80s. And the girl I was working with and like a few other people in my class were like reading along. And they had an updated version.

And they took the N-word out of the a version. So you were the only one saying the end. where they're like, is he improvising this? But I wasn't aware. Listen, I wasn't aware of, what's it called? I wasn't aware of the change. You know what I mean? Because I think it's, it's similar to what you say. It's like, I think them taking the N word out of it is like ridiculous. I think it's absolutely absurd. I think it, it honestly hurts the cause. Totally it does. Totally it does. But I will say that. You have, you have to know how the past was in order to like, a million percent. To correct. Well, it's just like this. You should actually whip the actors on stage.

You got to tell it. I wasn't. I wasn't. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Ericta wasn't calling anybody in N-word. He was just complaining about some black dude who's slowing up traffic. You know what I mean? And then calls him the N-word. You know what I mean? We've all been there. Some things have you said.

No, you know what I mean with this answer? No, you know what I was talking about? Don't get me scared. Bro, I was doing this shit for like two months, right? I'm working on this scene, right? And I had it down, dude. And my teacher one day is like, Ryan, you're making like a lot of interesting choices

in this fucking, in this monologue. here, right? She has a newer version of this shit. And everyone in the class is like, I don't know how much because they didn't tell me, but I was the only, I was,

they didn't know I was reading the proper, like the proper, like text. Yeah, they think you're just improvising. I thought I was just saying the N word. Because they switched it with like, I want to say it was like son of a bitch or like something corny. I'm like, this guy would not say this.

I'm like, okay, so he's complaining about Puerto Ricans and fucking Italian people 20 seconds before I go, you think he's going to just lay, oh, I'm going to take it easy and not say the end word. And then I'm like the whole time, like none of you guys said anything to me the entire.

You guys thought I was just like laying into it? I think your accent doesn't help your cause. Of course it doesn't. That's another thing. It's fucking bullshit how people just assume I'm racist because of how the fuck I sound. You know what I mean? I don't think people realize

how big of a fucking accusation that shit is to throw on somebody. But you're right, it doesn't do me no favor. You're not wrong about that. Especially when they look at your actions too. I love how Ryan is angled away from me like a rape victim right now

I'm trying to get more comfortable I have a drink over here This is like a like This is like some 60 minutes Where like a rape victim is next to Yeah you did it And the accuser and the rapist are right next to each other No we're good friends now

Yeah yeah yeah we're good We like it I'm trying to be as comfortable as I can right now I will say this I saw a play Recently race the play It's like the Oh yeah yeah It was good job

It was great. But I will say this. Hearing a white guy yelling N-word in a play, very different than watching it in a movie. And I never realized that. Because when you're watching a play, you're like, oh, this guy's just a guy yelling the N-WR-S-G Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will say this. The acting was good except the N-words or the white guys.

You could tell there was hesitation. And it was actually almost more uncomfortable than hearing a racist person say the N-word. It's like dropping in a half-pipe. It's like, you got to fucking nose down. You have to just, you know, that's acting, that's acting, though. It's like, you're going to be uncomfortable in a lot of things and you got to open yourself out. There are a lot of movies with white guys saying the N-word, but I remember even at a young age, Quentin Tarantino in Pulp Fiction, where I was like, it seems a little forced to me.

Yeah, it didn't fit the plot at all. It's like he said it. The whole movie was fucking forced, though. Fuck that. That's one of my favorite movies. It was realistic. Yeah, me too. It's a great one, but it's like, it's on brand for him to do it.

Like, it fits the. Well, first of all, he didn't have to. be in that movie. Let's get around. I disagree. There were so many great actors in that movie. What part of the plot that dude? They could have just thrown out the body somewhere else. They didn't have to be. I mean, I'm

all about where they dropped it, but I just made him like, this is dead N-word storage. Does this say that? You know, it's just like, eh, it seems a little. It's playing a little. Yeah, it's also weird too because he's with his friend. Yeah, but what do you mean it's forced? You don't think white people say in the N-word in general is already forced? I just

maybe it's because he's not a good actor. Yeah, maybe it is. Yeah. Yeah. Monsquisei said the N-word in taxi driver, too. And Sharktail. Yeah. Did he play a voice in Sharktail?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, uh, he was like his boss, like the puffer fish. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, he's a puffer fish. Yeah. But, um, what was I saying? The, uh... My aunt called my mom the N-word, uh, kind of recently.

Really? Yeah. How'd you respond? I thought it was fucking hilarious, dude. I did, you know? I feel bad because my aunt's crazy. You know, she's like sick, but the action. Well, what are you going to call an odd who's stealing?

Come on. It's my ma you're talking about. Where's my watch? What was the context? My aunt's like sick. She's like not upstairs. Anything specific? I can't remember.

It was like a little while ago, but she called her the N-word like 50 times on a voicemail. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, not Tourette's. Just like, just call it. Abundts other things. I guess every the phone, you can't see what race.

Regular. She should know her sister is just regular busting. Yeah. Just, she's Bostonian. Yeah, I'm trying to make it into a joke right now, you know. Oh, this is what I want to say. There is a high school rendition of that Pulp fiction scene. And there's an Asian kid saying like, what is this N word storage?

Just says N-word? Yeah, no, no, it says the word. But it's so funny because it's like acting. But it's like terrible. A terrible Asian actor, like middle schooler. What happens when an Asian says the N-word? Because it's not okay. Well, also, there's a Chinese word that is the N-word.

It means like, um, or okay or something like that. It's like a... I've heard people say that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, so you can kind of get away with it. Unless you lean into it too hard. Yeah, I was at a casino, and a lot of the Asian gamblers were yelling that at the screen during the NBA players.

I should have heard of it. They're just like, okay, okay. Okay. I was like, what is this? Asians love gambling, dude. Asians fucking love you. Leave Kevin Garnett alone, Asians. Yeah, I forget the NBA is like big in Asia, right? Huge.

There's more, they have more. It was like, yeah. They're God. I mean, Yao Ming, but. Yeah, yeah. They have more people watching the NBA in China than they do in the United States. There's more people there. Yeah.

But it's, yeah, no, there is. But that's why a lot of things like in the league and shit, a tailored towards that's why that's why the NBA can shut up about the Uyghurs the slits the Muslim Chinese slaves they're not going to bring because it's such a

there's so much money involved Yeah way more money involved Yeah what are they what are they using them for Are they building like fun things? They're building a wall Yeah They're building a second gray wall of China I strongly doubt it

Well even like the tie remember the Darry shit from like five or six years ago Yeah yeah yeah Because also like if you're a country and you have slaves, you better be productive with, you know what I mean? It's like, if you're not doing, like, North Korea, I'm like, what are they, are they using the slaves to build the rockets? Don't waste your slaves.

For sure. Yeah, absolutely. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Who are you to waste a slave? It's disrespectful. You know, you've stolen their life from them and now you're just going to use them for nonsense. Yeah. Dude, that's crazy. What if you're like a, like, a factory worker, like a slave? And you're just making like the silliest.

You're making just like, I don't know, those little hands that you put on top of your fingers to look like the lay. Like, imagine your life is just That's almost life. That's someone's life. Absolutely. It's just building like the fingernails. Someone right now.

Absolutely. And they're just getting screamed at because the, the fingernails aren't realistic enough on the fake hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Work faster and make them better. Damn. See, I almost want to make something darker. There's something like juxtaposing.

It's like terrifying of like making children's toys in like a slave factory. Oh, yeah. And it happens. Yeah. Yeah. But also, I'll say this. People are always like, oh, what are you going to tweet about that through your iPhone? It's like, well, if you're already.

using a slave laborer phone, you might as well do something good with it. So I don't think there's anything wrong with tweeting about the negativity of the world on an iPhone because it's like, yeah, it's bad, but like, is there, is there a phone that doesn't use slavery, though? No, of course not. So I guess even if you don't have a phone. Yeah, fucking landline. Yeah, but people pick and choose about what slavery they get mad over, though. That's the thing, because a lot of people don't, like, a lot of people don't have either

a relation to it or a lot of people don't think about it. Like, no one gives a fuck that, like, honestly speaking, no one really gives a fuck that slaves made these cameras and cell phones. Because if you really kid, then you wouldn't purchase it. You know, no one gives a fuck because we don't see it. Like, any, like, we just don't give a fuck. We all care to a point. And that's it.

Yeah. That's it. But we love to look down our noses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love to do that. Yeah, when you open up your phone and the cameras up frontways. You know what? It's just because you open up your phone and you're just fucking like, oh my God, this injustice is happening?

Yeah, yeah. Let me tweet about it. Yeah. Let me tweet about it. Yeah, I'm definitely at the point where I don't have that, I don't know, it's weird. Somebody asked me to share something recently. And I was like, dude, it's, it's, I don't want my social media to be. I don't do just be silly stuff.

But do you mean share something. I can't get into it. I hate bringing up things that I can't get into, but I can't get into it. What is going on downstairs? There's some sort of police union thing going on? it's something. It has to be. It's like guys in their 40s to 60s. Yeah. Smoking cigars. Smoking cigars.

All men, too. Yeah, yeah. All kind of fat. It looked like for the most part. No, no, no, no. There's some normal look at them. There are enough shaven heads that I... By the way, David Houttersonson's noon. I went for a running. That's what I'm saying someone had to have died of some shit. We're going next door after this. I'll have a drink over that. Dude, they always, yeah, there's always like a big thing when one police officer. Yeah, it has to be...

Is that what it's called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it a good bar? It's a little loud. Yeah, it's kind of a, no, it's fine. I was in there one time trying to watch the Kentucky Derby and it was just 100 retards fucking. Trying to watch the Kentucky Derby?

Yeah, well, it was actually the last time I did this podcast. No. Do you watch it normally? Watch horse racing, yeah. Who is Ryan O'Toole? Dude, he's got all the leg of. I grew up at something down, too. Is this what I like about?

I hate people that are exactly what you think they are. You know, I don't know. I love fucking people that cannot be put in a box. Yeah, yeah. Right. I just, you know, I'm from fucking Boston, and I know the fucking accent. And I'm like, I didn't know him back in Boston,

but he's in New York. And I'm like, I know Ryan O'Toole. It's like film school, Kentucky Derby. It was fucking acting school. It wasn't film school. Cut the shit. What a sophisticated gentleman. I'm a stage actor, okay?

Oh, my God. Even more gay. Experian fucking actor. Wait, so was it just you and a bunch of gay kids? Like, what was it? What? Acting school. Other gay kids.

Everyone, dude. There was some gay kids there, but there was a lot of, like, people from all over the world, dude. That's how I met my ex-wife, girl in India I was with, a bunch of people, all that shit. Nice. So everything. See, I did one acting thing in college, and I hated it. I hated the people. There was just this guy that, like, I met him.

I get it. He's like, acting, man. It's just so. I'm like, all right, I get it. I don't want to hear a word about how you think. And he was a terrible actor. I'm not good at either, but I'm very bad at it. I thought you meant like you were acting innocent when those accusations broke out.

Nothing happened. I didn't do anything. I've never seen that girl in my life. No, no. I've never been to that dumpster. That's not the dumpster I go to to rape chis. That's not my rape dunster. That was like, it was funny.

There was like, somebody posted. like apparently Brock Turner's out on the prowl again. There's like a video, there's like a picture of him. Somebody shared it. They're like, hey, wow. You told me that those three months and he didn't learn his lesson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.

That was the Stanford guy, right? Whatever guy was the swimmer. Stanford swimmer. Yeah. Wow. I haven't heard that name in years, dude. Brock Turner. Yeah, you got.

Brock. Oh, here's a better question. You're Brock Turner. How do you change, restart your life over? Change your name, A. Yeah, yeah, you got to change that name. I smell and explaining things here. Yeah.

I smell and explaining things here. Yeah. got to change your name. You're changing your name. But he was like a redhead, wasn't he? First things first. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because somebody, I saw somebody post something. They're like, hey, here's Brock Turner. He's at the local bars. Don't, you know,

go home with him because he'll preview. All you have to do is change your first name. I mean, Turner is such a basic. Dude, Brock is ruined.

Brock is ruined from that guy, I think. You think it's like Karen? Oh, no. Brock Lesner? Can't get a fair shake anymore? All my favorite Brock's? Yeah,

what other Brock's out of it? Brock Holts? With the fucking sword down his chest? I guess maybe not. It's probably not a name that got ruined. Yeah, because it already had a bad connotation. Dude, I even know a lot of Osama's now, and I barely even think about the fact

that it had been London happened. You know what I mean? Like, I know a lot of... Oh, it's the first... Every time I meet someone named Osama, it's the first thing that... It's the first joke I'm going to make. It's how...

I think it says a lot. It's good... I spit in their face. I spit in their face. I say, get out of here. I spit in their face, and I say, that's for America. Yeah. those towers were ours

yeah all right dude I would do a bar I would do the strip club in Portland Maine a while back fuck yeah great city dude

I'm listening I hate that city dude fuck you I don't like that city duh oh you know what you know what I take that back I had fun

Portland's awesome great city great restaurants clean as night life I like there that's the only yeah I don't know why

you go there in the off season you have to go up there like in like the middle of winter for shows yeah I went there for terrible

comedy festival where there wasn't chairs in a show. I'm sure I'm going to at a weed store. It's nightlife or if it's during the day

you better be there with your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, great place to bring a girl. Lobster rolls. Yeah, yeah.

The lobster rolls were good and then I really liked there was like a live band. You know what? I take back everything I just said, but we went to this strip club went to a rick's cabaret and it was fun too

because I like going to strip clubs and somebody who's kind of nervous and then you just tell the strippers like you gotta shove your tits right in this guy's face. Yeah, it's always the best thing to do. I'm the nervous guy.

Oh, really? I don't like strip clubs. Oh, I just, I don't get it. I'm not the biggest fan. I feel like, I feel like I become a virgin when I walk in.

Really? Yeah, I do, because I'm like, I'm paying for tits right now. Dude, it's sad how at home I feel. Like,

I'm absolutely like, mom. There's like an ACON song. I love strip club bangers, like some ying twins. Oh, yeah. Like,

I love the music. Yes. I like the kind of lighting. So it's like, I really, I get, I get that. I like the kind of colorful lights they have are beautiful.

I like reflective mirrors. I'm like the most autistic parts of this. So what are you shit on? I like nipples with litter on. Yeah. I'll see that at rest, but I'll get through it. But, and then you're with your boys. I like the dude mentality where you're all coming in.

You're just like, ah, like I like that energy of going in a lot. And anyways, you can see some guy there. You're obviously like the guy who's the biggest pussy. You're like, ah, shove your tits in his face. We did a lot of that. But I found out Dash Trip Club is the one they went to. apparently before 9-11. Like the day before 9-11, they went to that strip club.

Really? What the fuck just told me about this? Somebody has a bit about it. No, I do. Someone has a bit about it. Someone told me, they're like, you know, that strip club went to in Portland, Maine, the 9-11 terrorist. I just saw this bit. This is not your bit?

No. There's another one. There was a joke I was doing about. Oh, you know what? It's Jordan Handen C. He's an L.A. comic used to be in Boston. And he's from Portland. Oh, that's why, okay, that makes sense

Yeah, because somebody told me this information. I'm like, that's fucking insane. They also got an escort the night before and then, or maybe it was from the strip club and then it was too... We're not that different at all. It was too expensive and then they turned her away. That to me is the most insane thing in the world. That's hilarious.

You know what I'm thinking? We're all thinking it, I'm going to say, you know, these terrorists who went to a strip club the night before out of wedlock, bad Muslims. Yeah, not good guys. You can knock that tower down, but you cannot see Tits before. Dude, how funny would that be if you get to heaven? And he's like, no, you fucking see.

He's like, you did the strip club the night before. Yeah, Tits. What are you fucking thinking? What is this? You could see their face, too. Yeah. Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah, I don't understand the escort thing's funny, though.

But I wonder how. Because they're not, they're lunatics. That's why. For sure. So, like, you're seeing. It's not like proper muzzle. Yeah, exactly. It's like the, it's like, whatever happened to the, the pole shooter.

Didn't he turn out to like not, what was going on with there? it was a gay attack and then some people said it wasn't a gay attack which should I? The Pulse one in Orlando. I should know the most about this. Oh. He pledged to ISIS but like that was just kind of like a claimant credit like he was Yeah, a lot of people did that.

Yeah, yeah. And then he shot up the nightclub in Orlando which is a gay club. So it's like oh that it does but then somebody said there's some other weird thing where he didn't know it was a gay club. I heard he walked in and shot up the entire club and then found out as a gay club and was really embarrassed. and then blew his head off. Out of shame because he's not homophobic.

And he didn't want people to think it was a hate crime. What have I done? I thought I was killing a vague group of people. I love queers. I thought it was a diverse group. I'm pro-queer. The craziest of the interview, because he had like a boyfriend and there was interviews with his boyfriend

where they put on this crazy. He was gay? Yeah. Oh, well, what the fuck? That changes everything. I didn't know that. Yeah, but I think it was like a... It is so funny how little I look into a match shooter.

Dude, right? Well, what are you supposed to do? It's like it's either that or you pay attention to it and then you get... Well, a serial killer deserves my attention. A mass shooter... Deserves? Absolutely, because he's smart. He might be insane, but he's smart.

A mass shooter... A mass shooter can be dumb as a fucking rock. All he has to be is nuts. Yeah, yeah. It takes no talent to grab a fucking automatic rifle. I agree with that. I agree with that. I agree with that.

I agree with that. Cerellers have talent. Yeah. They're smart. Yeah, I agree with that. But what I'm saying is the optionary that don't really pay attention or pay little attention, like, you know, take it in like a regular piece of news. But then if you get like all in on something like that, then that'll fuck like the rest of your life up. Oh, for sure.

And I also think what happens is you try to. So something's sad in the news. And then you try to get an emotional attachment to it. So like I went to like the walks for like the thing. Because it was really fucked up. And I'm from Orlando. I'm like, this is a terrible thing that happened. Yeah.

And so I went to like the, have you been to that club? No. No. I would like the vigils for it And I was like, this is my city Like you start becoming like more emotionally invested than you need to be Because you want to be a part of something Oh, I fucking couldn't, you know, I'm like, you start to go like, this is my city.

And like one of my friends made a pulse joke and I was like, how dare you? It's before I started doing comedy and I was like, what was that? What was the jail? I think we're so isolated now that that's what we try to be. We try to be part of stuff. Yeah, 100% We're almost more emotional about things because we are isolated. We want to be part of something.

And it is terrible. And it did happen in like the community. live in. Yeah. But in the same time, it's like there's, it's like being an adjusted adult means horrible things happen and you can respond to them without.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I agree with what you, wait, what was the pulse joke? A Muslim guy walks into a bar and says shots for everybody. All right. It's all right.

I'm using that tonight. I agree with, I agree with what you, I didn't know the guy was Muslim and I didn't know he's gay. That's how little attention. Maybe I knew about that 10 years ago. That's how little those things. mean to him. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I don't care. Uh, I don't know. But the guy, the guy, they,

though his boyfriends came on, instead of doing the black boy face interview, they do this, they just put like a mask on him. So they have these like prosthetics and the guy has like a giant nose and like a giant. Is that guy alive or is he dead? Like giant ears. The guy who shot that place up alive and dead. No, no, he's just dressed as a girl. Look it up. Look up Omar, uh, uh, mating boyfriend. It's the funniest thing I've had. You know the name? Yeah, yeah. It's my city dog. this is your city of dark I have no allegiance to New York May teen boyfriend

yeah yeah it's funny there's there's like a makeup artist because they're trying to like keep his identity secret but they just put like so much Everton to making him look It looks like his Sasha Barricoy character

It was like 67 years old dude Wait can I see the picture Yeah show the camera that It's so funny He's got a fake mustache Like a giant fake nose Of fake hair piece Yeah it's just like

I sucked his cock for years I never saw this coming. Let me see the background. It'd be funny. Jonathan Tilsen. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Workout rules. With his six rules for success in life.

That would be hilarious. It was clearly Arnold Schwarzenegger was a secret boyfriend. He was like, I knew Omar Matinthine. No, it's just Omar Matin's boyfriend is already my background. So you knew, you knew Omar? Yes, I knew him here. I knew him well.

Yeah. I suck these. cock before they should have that. I know what you're saying, though. Like, people do need to be, that Boston marathon shit, it, you were there. You were there. I was there. You know what I mean? But that shit pissed me the fuck off. Yes. At the finish line? Yes. Fuck off. Yeah. I'm a survivor. Wow. I hated everything that came. Other than the Red Sox went in the World Series. No shrapnel? None. I felt the heat, though. Felt the heat of the second bomb. Really? Yeah. Damn. I was on, you know, like the Prudential Center? I was on the, what do you think I'm

going to lie about this, right? The way you're looking at me. slip up right now, dude. Are you Steve Renezzy? The audience has to know. The audience has to know. I see Ryan O'Toole like every couple weeks. We talk shit to each other, but I know nothing about it. Yeah, we really only talk about the Celtics.

So I'm really only... Everything I know about them has happened with here. But I was there, but they did all the Boston strong shit afterwards and like late night shows needed to fucking get involved and like the community is getting involved. Made me fucking sick the entire time. Yeah, but I see, I have mixed feelings on it because I'm like, for one, it's like, that's why when people are like, oh, it's easy to be gay. I'm like, well, you can still get gun down at night. It's like, you know what I mean? There is, like, I get

why people are like, this shit sucks very hard. There are negative things. And then I guess as part of the community, you're like, well, you know, you want to show like support. Sure. I understand that, but it's like seeing people like, seeing fucking people sell, like, I totally understand what you're saying and I agree. But then seeing people just sell all the Boston strong shit and then making money off of it at the same time. It's just like, suck my fucking dick. All right? And don't give me a break. Like, yeah. Some people, I'm sure, donated money to the, you know, the organizations and all that stuff, relief and so on. But it's like, I know people that were selling bootleg fucking shirts on eBay that said, like, you know what I mean?

It's like, give me a fucking break with all this, too. And then just all the shit that comes in, like, they picked the wrong city, this and that. It's like, okay. That is hilarious. Give me a good example of a city that's good to have a terrorist attack on that you could really, the terrorists could really, like, win one over, you know? You know, fucking break. Also, they were on the loose for like two days, weren't they? It's like four or five, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was nuts. What were they? Do we ever find, what was like the? They were, they're just lunatic, like, the same thing, just crazy. Like, radical Islamic, yeah. Totally. But it was a weird, wasn't a weird thing? It was like, oh, the United States was involved in this.

Well, they, no, what happened is the Russians did tip us off. This is before, like, Russian United States relations got bad like that. But they did tip us off on these people being like, yo, these dudes are out of their fucking mind because the Russians will watch these same guys, but they want us about people all the time. It's like we probably could only pay attention to so many people and they just slipped through the cracks. Yeah, that's always funny too. People are like,

the United States had the 9-11 attackers on a list. It's like, do you know how long that list? It's like a giant list. We're probably on this list. Yeah, sure. I'd better be. After this pot, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so it's, uh... I always thought it was funny, like, the younger one who was on the cover of a Rolling Stone, like, fairly

good looking kid. He was at like a party the night before. I just like a girl could have so easily just have blown him. Yeah. And then the next night being like, oh my God. Is that? Yeah. No, it's fucking.

I fucked that monster last night. Someone should have, you know, because then it probably wouldn't have happened. Yeah. You know, same with the old day before. Yeah. Wouldn't have exploded the next day. Sex does solve some stuff. Absolutely.

Shit like that. Like, they just loses. That's all it is. Like, yeah, I'm sure like they were like, you know, racist and fucking all this. shit that they said they were. Don't attach this. You should be able to. You should be able to.

You think people aren't racist towards white dudes from Boston. Do you how much hate I get on a daily basis? They're saying that's what they were. Yeah, they had radical views. They were lunatic. They had crazy views about like the West. At least the older brother did. You should be able to buy an automatic rifle and show plans for the massacre that you're

about to perform in order to get a free hooker from the state. Yeah, yeah. I'm all for that. State isn't don't don't some places have state hookers. That's a thing. State hookers. State hookers. Dude, that's a thing.

It's like a typical state worker. It's like Ohio. 65 year old woman who wears like that old Hillary Clinton dress and she just fucks you. No, some like foreign countries. There's always foreign countries that are like ahead of this stuff. And they're like, yeah. Or behind. What's up?

I said, we're behind. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, exactly. But some of them were like advanced. Like they're like, oh yeah, we give all the rapists like just women. into fuck that want to get fucked by the rape or something, I don't know. No, state run hookers. Like, Frog always has these weird

things like that. They could solve a lot. Yeah, they could solve a lot. Apparently, places that do have a lack of pornography have very high rapes. Yeah, I'm sure. India is, I think that's a thing where people, everybody assumes that, like, pornography radicalize people. Like, some people, I'm sure, get weird and, like, become monsters. But it's also like,

it's like, I think the amount of people that don't commit sex crime because of foreign. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing's perfect. It is true, though. It's like, you come, and then it's just like, oh, whatever. Dude, I think it saves most marriages. I think most people don't cheat because they're like, right, I guess jerk off on my phone.

Oh, my God, absolutely. Yeah, so it's like, I don't think anybody, and everybody gets weird about that. And then I think most people do that. I think that's the big thing with like the Catholic Church. But I think there's a difference between I'm married and I watch porn and I watch porn and avoid getting a girlfriend, you know, because I because it does cause another problem, right? I think it's real. Yeah, I think we do have a high, I think younger kids are probably getting less pussy,

which is one of my biggest. I think that's like a fact. Yeah, yeah. I think we should be promoting get kids pussy. Yeah, but that's probably not only porn, though. That's what that's probably. Kid, kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need to get children, children, children. Welcome to my charity, Puss for Tots. You're right, though, but it's also probably a lot of other things other than just porn, though. It's like kids play video games for 15 hours a day. You watch porn all day. You're hitting your nicotine vape. How do you even get hard? You're on Adderall?

Zero percent chance. Yeah, but you're also playing like kids on social. Like you don't see kids out on the street. That's the thing. You're not around people like you watch. Yes. Like what you said about. And it's not even just being around people.

Or being around people is what makes you develop those social fucking, you know, what's the word I'm looking for here? Tendencies. It's something like that. Just like your habits. Yeah. You know, like that's how you become charming by being around people. For sure. Like, it's tough to become charming when you're alone in a room for all these

times. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why I think New York people are some of the least social people. And they're not. And they're not to blame for that either. No, it's because if you don't talk to the guy at your bodega, you're not, it's like, coming from Florida, I don't know it's like where you guys are from, but it's like, you will talk to every single person. So it's like, here your headphones are red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get better at talking to people. So it's like now when you have to talk somebody important, it's easier for you compared to somebody here who's like used to having that coldness. Can I pee? Yeah, pee. Yeah, yeah. We'll talk about

fucking whatever nonsense. No, I agree with what Tilsen was saying. My dad was saying he was like a couple years ago, he's like, yeah, like my sister was having a bonfire in the backyard. He's like, I was going out there, you know, because your friends were always drinking and stuff like that. And I was like, these kids are just on their phones. Like, that's just what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now, would you dad poppy if abusing?

Would he be pissed when you guys abusing? No, he'd always like, it was like a blind eye thing where he'd be like, he was like, I can't see you guys drinking back there or you're in trouble. So it's like, I think he knew. It's probably the way to go. For sure, I knew, but I'm also making sure, like, nobody's driving home. My mom never, yeah, see, that's, my mom never really let me drink at my house until I was, like, 19 or 20. Like, I was already, like, kind of old. She already, like, my mom saw me the first time drunk, I think, when I was, like, 16 to 17.

So I was like, she kind of already, like, she obviously knew I was drinking. You know what I mean? But she would never, like, I, it's funny. Someone said to me, like, because I know kids where we'd just be able to go openly over the house and get fucking shit-faced. smoke weed. I mean, kids would fucking doing coke. Dude, I remember people doing coke with this chick's, this guy's mom. Yeah. This guy's mom. Where are they nowadays?

Because my buddy, someone said that to me recently. Like, yeah, probably a great environment to grow up in and I thought about it. And I was like, all those kids are fucked up now. Dude, it's a weird thing. Some of my friends that are really fucked up actually had great home lives. It's a weird thing. Sure, there is that. Without a doubt. Without a note. But

I would happen, this is how crazy it was. There was a youth pastor for our school. He's gay now. You went to a Catholic school? For middle school. And then high school, I went to public school. So middle school I went to private school. And one of the reverends or chaplain, I think he was chaplain, he had a house.

And this guy's mom was house sitting for him. But I think it was his house. Or no, she's just house sitting for a priest. And this guy's mom is just doing a fuck ton of coke with all these high school kids. Nice. It's crazy. And then I remember my dad was like, you got to be home now. And I got my friend to just drive me drunk.

shitfish. I should not have done me. I was like, I got to get home, dude. He's like, I don't know if I could drive. And I'm like, I'm sure you're fine. And I used to be so anti-drunk driving, but when it was my advantage, then I was like, no, it's cool. It's cool.

I didn't, yeah, dude, I didn't, you know, it's funny. Kids used to make fun of me for how, how much I used to be like, yo, we shouldn't be driving fucked up because my whole thing was like, if I was drinking in, I didn't have my driving license until I think I was like 19 or something. I was older when I got, maybe 20. I was older when I got my license. What's the age in Boston? for that?

16, 17 or something. But, like, in the city, like, my buddy's in the city when we would drink, none of them had cars because you don't need a fucking car, you know? But, like, in the suburbs, kids would drink and get fucked up, and I'd be like, yo, you shouldn't be driving right now. Like, let's just take a cab, and they would

fucking die. They would think, oh, you're a pussy, this and that. And I'm like, bro, you're gonna just crush 20 beers? The suburbs? Yeah. Yeah, dude, drive and was, like, a huge part of my child. I'm like, damn. I, like, never did it, but it was, I did it one time because I woke up the next morning.

I was still drunk and I took an Adderall and I slept on the side of the road. Well, that's responsible. You took an Adderall. Yeah, yeah. But we talked about Coke Dad said, we knew this one guy whose dad would sell coke to people. Nice.

And they had a huge party of his house. I got there late. I was pissed. My buddy says that what was happening was, as the cops are raiding this guy's house, this dad was doing lines and he lit a golf ball on fire and was hitting golf balls into the lake as the cops were showing up. It was cool as a cucumber.

And he had somebody else getting a boat ready. to come in their backyard. Were the cops raiding a house because of the drugs? Or were they raided of the house because there was a bunch of drunk 15-year-olds? But like the guy, the guy who literally was planning an escape while calmly apparently golfing, flaming golf balls into the lake. See, that's what a cool guy looks like. Yeah. Did he end up getting in trouble?

Not for that. Yeah. He's dead now. But, dude, he tried to kill one of my friends. When my friends was... Who told the story, I think, on the pot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my friends was texting like his ex-wife.

And he's like, dude, this is fucking sick, dude. He's like, I'm going to bang this guy. mom and we're like dude sketchy and then the guy was like oh I'm gonna get Julio to come kill you or something like that and then we're all at the beach together and my buddy he calls my other friend he goes hey how's it going is Sean

with you and he's like no he's like all right well I'm coming to kill him or something like then yeah that guy died Florida's different yeah yeah dude it is yeah it really is yeah it is but I wouldn't have grown up any other way I loved it yeah it was a great way to live how awesome what high school parties do

How awesome I was drinking underage, dude It was awesome But I always say this I would want to I don't know It's tough Because it's like

Going back I think you do see it With Rose You forget all those arguments To your parents They're like You can't stay out to 4am And you're like

Screw you You know whatever Yeah I never say Fuck you to my parents I do the behind the wall thing where I go I'll do that to my girlfriend

Now I'll go behind the wall And just fucking flick her off And you're like Fuck you! I don't think I have I've never said that To my parents We have. We had a different house at the Tillerson household.

My sister did it a bunch of times and like, you know, but I never did that shit. No, my, what was the, uh, my parents, they were just so liberal. Like, drank, uh, I spoke pot with, um, yeah, just to eat. And there was no joke I could say to either of you that I couldn't say to my parents. That's awesome. That's awesome. There's no such joke. I mean, any, think of anything as filthy as you can.

Yeah. I can make that joke. Oh, that's fucking sick. It comes at it. cost, you know. It comes at a cost. Being what? What's the cost? Well, I just mean like your parents should be a little bit more parenty, you know? You don't want to be able to say anything to them.

You seem like you turned out all right. You seem like you have your shit together. You have a good job. Well, you know how I didn't know you very well before this? You don't know me very well. It's too-shay. Have you killed the guys? Is there a dark pass to Jonathan we don't know about? Wouldn't shock me at all if he was a serial guy? Why would I ever bring that out? Would not shock me at all? What kind of an amateur would I be? actually I think I found a new target Yeah I'm gonna murder

Standing here exposing my body Dude the dark web By the dark web That would do huge on the dark web A podcast where they kill the guests in the end Yeah That would be Snuff cast

I'm gonna kill O'Too because he gives my city a bad name Yeah Fucking O'Toole With these fucking bullshit Yeah So what was growing up with Boston like for you I didn't grow up in Boston

I grew up like 30 minutes south In the city suburbs Eastern Yeah Okay. Yeah. So I never had any. You party? You party. You party. You did a drug. Of course. You fuck dudes. Yeah. Yeah. I fuck guys. Yeah. Just to see how it feels. Yeah. Have you banged the dude before? Not yet. Not yet. Oh, too. Come on.

No. I've got one of my friends made out with a dude recently. And I was like, I respect it. Because he's like, yeah, dude. I don't know. It was on ecstasy. And, you know, you tried. And he goes, wasn't for me. But he was very, he was like, I'm sure this guy's straight. He's just like the straightest. So I let him suck me off and I said, that's that. Yeah. That's that. Rules is rules. In a way, he is straighter than all of us because he knows. Absolutely. I'm too scared to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I have no reason to want to do it. I've played gay in your head. I've done it. I've thought of which friends would disown me. I think when I was like 16 or so, I was like, how do you know you're not? You're questioning everything about yourself. You know, you're in your tans. And I was like, could you be gay?

You might be gay. Could you be gay? I'm like, I don't think I am. You picture the arguments of your friends. Like, I'm still cool. I'm so cool. I'm so on the football team after all. You know, I can still pancake a defender. You get kicked off the football team.

I'm Michael Sam. I can see that beta Florida thing. Santa sets a new rule. No gay kids in the football team. Yeah, yeah, no gay. Yeah, seriously. See that anti-gay? You never know.

Every article says one thing crazy and then you eat it. Gay basketball players, you weren't allowed to box out. You can play, but you can't box out. Yeah, you just got a shoot on the perimeter. He loves getting into those rules. about just stuff in school where he's like, you know, no trans kids playing intermural soccer. And you're like, what is going on?

He's like, get the government out of our schools. Anyway, you can't do this. You can't see this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, you never know because everybody over-exaggerates it on social media. So they're like, they're going to murder trans people. And you're like, is that what's going to.

You see, you just have to remove 20% of whatever it is. Oh, for sure. Yeah. It's like when I, you know, when the old dog is on the apps, the way I am. Yeah. You look at the first picture, you pretend they're 25% ugly than they are. You don't have to look at the other pictures.

Okay? That's a good point. You don't have to. Yeah. Are you on the apps? No. No, he's just smashing gash in person. I haven't been on the apps in a while.

Last time I probably went. I used to be on the apps when I was in high school. I would like, I would say that I had a 17 year old tender because you could have Tinder at 17, which is crazy. That was the thing. It's crazy. Yeah, there was like seven. How do I get on that?

It was like you'd be like 15 through 17 And then you could be And then you could be 18 to 18 to whatever age Is that real? Yeah, so I had two tinders. I had one that was 15 to 17 Because I was 17.

So I was like, I'm gonna hit on 17 year old girls. And I had a different one where I'd pretend I was older and hit on college. I can't believe that's allowed. That's insane, right? Why would you even make that? That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah. But I'd have both. And then I'd be talking to an older girl And then I'd always tell them. Think how far we'd, come. You don't even have to bring white cloths to a high school anymore. Just hop on the app. Yeah. Yeah. How was that not just for them to catch pedophiles? What, what purpose is that other than... Who is like, we need to get 17 year olds pussy.

Actually, I was just saying that for like 10 straight minutes. Yeah, yeah. Just like, who the fuck isn't, who isn't dating in their high school? Oh, me. Dude, I was all outside the high school. Right. Yeah. Yes, but my senior year, dude. Oh, yeah, trannies. I forgot. But, uh, I would go, uh, I would go to other high school. and stuff. So what I would do is I'd be like, oh, okay, I'm going to hit on girls from different high schools because I like to act like a dipshit in my high school. And then there's hot girls all high schools like to act like the man outside of my high school. Yeah, yeah, they don't know how lame I am. But yeah, dude, that was the best. I throw a bonfire in my backyard and just invite some girl from a high school that's like an hour away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a cool move. And you hook up with like Randos in high school. Yeah. Like that aunt affiliated with your school. But you know what there was to, too, too? there was always a hot girl your high school that nobody would fuck because she was like weird there was a girl like that in my high school and now she's unattainable

she's a little bit like aloof you know and it's just like who is she it was yeah it was kind of like that but everybody's like oh that girl's weird you're like why they're like I don't know because she's not popular and you're like and the popular girl

is just like some girl with a bad face but a huge ass oh meanwhile it's a beautiful girl who's raped who's dad raped her and it's just like oh she's a little weird but she's still stunning yeah yeah yeah yeah like

she's got gauge deer and, you know, tattoos before any of her friends did. What's wrong with her? She's got pain inside. A lot of pain. But it was like, there's a girl we knew she was hot. And everybody would be like, oh, I'm not going to fuck her because she's weird. And then now she's like, like, fucking 600,000 Instagram followers.

Just big ass, big. Pull her up. Pull her up. Put her on the TV. Put her on the tube. Put her on the big screen. You look at how hot this girl from my high school. Oh, I like.

Dude, I was talking to somebody else who did a huge problem. They did a really hot girl in high school. And then she got really ugly. And he's trying to brag to his friends. And he's like, well, I can't show them the high school pictures of her because that's creepy. And I can't show them the pictures of her now because she's ugly. So I can't find. You know, it's an interesting phenomenon, though.

Like, I haven't, if I ever did this, this had to be like in the five years after. But if you look back at a yearbook, you know, that's obviously an. underage person that you're looking at a yearbook, but you knew girls back in high school that were just like... They looked like they were 25 when they were 16. Are you saying you recently jerked off to a high school yearbook? I'm not saying that. That sounds like it's where it's going.

Not recently. Not recently. But I absolutely jerked off to a high school year book the year after high school or two years after high school or something. Oh, yeah. And you're looking at a 16 year old or a 17 year old. You're jerking off their little note. Yeah, but you're like, have a great summer.

You're like, oh, yeah. But you were the age of... the person and that changes everything. There was a girl in the seventh grade. There was a girl in the seventh grade who was, she had a, that's right when you start like jerking off and shit. Right. And it was, she had a, she had a control over me.

I thought this was the sexist. What was her name? We can't say that. I know you remember her name. Of course, of course I do. I say it every night before I go to bed. But she was so hot.

And me and my friends were just like, just blown away by her. Yeah. And I think I jerked off. to her the seventh grade probably two years later while we're in high school and that's a seventh grader but we were seventh grade at the same time but seventh and ninth I think it's fine I know what you said you say senior year my my whole point is let's say I did it this year okay that's still not cool that's fucked up that's fucked up but that is fucked up that I'm not jerking

off to a seventh grader I'm jerking off as a seventh grader to a seventh grader I'm saying there's something. Listen, camera, public, I'm not doing this, okay? I'm not doing this. That's what someone who's still doing this. I'm trying to see your logic. So I get what you're, you don't get the logic?

No, I don't. I mean, I see what you say. If you look back to a picture of you and your buddy when you were both 12, that's still you and your buddy, you know? It's like you're friends with the 25-year-old version of them, but it's still you and your friend when you're at 12. Yeah, but you're still jacking off to a 12-year-old when you're looking at the picture. That's the idea.

The idea of as well. That's not any better. Yeah, I think that's, I think that's your time traveling. Your time traveling to have sex with the kids, maybe. Actually, not maybe. No, I think affirms dance on that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think that's great.

No, no, no, no, no. I am not tricking up to anyone in the seventh grade that I was in the seventh grade with, but I will say there is something. very different. You know what I'll say? Hugely different. Looking at a seventh grader that you don't know that you think is hot is a pedophile. Yes.

That's a full-blown pedophile. Seeing my seventh grade crush. Yeah, because you know girls that were hot in seventh grade. Like, I'm still friends with people that you're still jerking off to a seventh grader. But are you drinking off to the picture or the essence of how hot this person was to you at the time? If you're looking at the picture and stroking your penis, then you were drinking off to the picture. If you said I jerked off to the memory of fucking... First of all, let the record state that I was talking about this two years after the picture was taken.

Right. You were in ninth grade. She was really got out of hand. This is not me now, okay? Accusation. Now, let's also say Jonathan was actually held back five years. So he was jerking off to somebody seven years. That's right. I'm only 19.

Yeah, yeah. I look terrible. But, yeah, no, I think I get jerking off to old. memories, I guess. Because you're like, oh, okay, that was... But in your mind, I think you adjust. So in your mind, if you're jerking up to old memories... That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, but the picture's an actual picture of a seventh grader's face. That's where I'm saying. But, by the way, if you were ninth grade and you fucked a seventh grader, I think it's a little weird, but that's not that first. Just jerking off to a yearbook photo in general's pretty crazy. That's pretty fucking crazy.

Could be a college yearbook. It could be a head, like a professional headshot. That's pretty crazy. Well, we're definitely past those times now. Yeah, I didn't get my high school yearbook. Porno moves now. The picture is moving. Jonathan, you want to get to watch it porties?

He says the seventh-citter's face tapes to like a black one with huge dits. It's just doesn't even match. I'm not a pedophile. Looker go. It's like a jib-chat basically. We're like the body boom. Oh, little Jenny Taylor. Just kidding that dick.

You know what I will would jerk out to do. I like watching porn. that took place in my adolescence. Because the clothing and the hairstyles... I'll go back occasionally. Yeah, yeah, because the clothing and the hairstyles is more reminiscent of what it was like when I was younger.

So it's like... You know what I mean? It's like I was watching fucking Twilight the other day and there's something that got me so excited about seeing people dressed like they were 10 years ago. 2009. Or I guess that's like 20 years ago almost.

Or 15. 15, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was saying this is... Oh, I'll go back. I'll go back to some of my favorite porn every now and then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. back from like, because when you're your teens, it's literally a drug. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a drug. Yeah. We do have to wrap up because the camera died, damn it. Oh, it died? Yeah, yeah. We're also at an hour, basically. Jesus Christ, amateur hour. I know.

What do you guys want to promote besides jerking off to child pornography? Jesus, goodness. Those conversations not ending just because this podcast. I want to let it. We'll hit the mics and continue. I want to let that be known. I'm not done arguing my winning point. You got a long way to go.

Oh, dude. You got a long... It's a noise, dude, because I think this is where we just picked up the steam. Yeah, I feel like...

Honestly, there was a little bit earlier I was like, not you guys, but I'm tired. I feel like I'm not really on it. I'm a little tired, too. Yeah, yeah.

But what do you want to promote? Ryan O'Toole podcast, uh, Instagram, Facebook. Why do I always say this? I say my fucking shit. Amazon every Tuesday.

Uh, just call my Instagram at It's Ryan O'Toole. ITS Ryan O'T and fucking do whatever. All my shit's on there. Sorry the mic died. This won't happen again.

It's the second time it's happened in a row. It won't happen again. You mean the camera? Yeah, the camera died. Yeah, yeah. I put a little note up that says, like, thank you for listening. Sorry, this camera died. Okay.

Follow me at Jonathan Tilson with two L's, T-I-L-L-S-O-N. Also follow Explaining Show on all platform. Great show. It's fucking hilarious. And at Fuck City USA. Alan Fitzgerald, my co-host. also if you're listening on YouTube most episodes are on Spotify and Apple I'm just moving over to YouTube now Michael good comedy is my Instagram and yeah thank you yeah