Morning Good - It's Good For Your Brain - Episode 118

Episode Date: September 25, 2022

Thanks to Chris Kinback for coming back on this show as a solo guest. You can catch him on previous episodes of the show and find him online for more funny stuff. He's on Instagram @chriskinback and has a new podcast coming out soon, so follow him for more updates on that.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty Mike and the boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. I'm starting now. Yeah, Zins made me sick, dude. I put a bunch in my mouth the other day. And then I'm here with Chris Kim back, by the talk. Fuck, yeah. All right, sweet.

Yeah, I put a bunch. You can just mute my mic too. Just the whole episode of Speed talking. You just use me as a like idea bouncer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be like the producer in the background. I'll laugh when you say, when you say something that's like almost funny.

Oh, yeah, because that's the level we're hitting almost funny. Also like a producer though, they're just such a yes man. Like I would love to hear a producer that like shit's on the guy running the shit. That would be hilarious to be like, that's fucking stupid, Joe. I'd be like, what are you thinking? That's not right. Yeah, what if every time you talk to the back to see, Jamie's like, yeah, that's stupid.

And he's just so insecure. Because he will correct him, but he'll be like, yeah, no, that's not entirely true. He'll never just be like, that was nonsense. That would be tough to do because you almost have to be smarter than the guy doing the podcast. You have to know more, which I guess you could if you're just Googling shit all day. Yeah, but then you're like, why not the star? Like, I should be the star if I know all this shit. Right.

At that point, then you develop your own ego and then you have your own podcast and you don't need to be listening to. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, most podcast producers are just like laughing hysterically in the background. That's a dream job. dude. I'm talking shit about it, but I would love to just be a podcast producer. Yes. Sit there. Because what are you doing? You're like fucking, you're basically like on your phone all day. And then they say something funny. You're like, ha ha. Yeah. Well, I think it's the after work where everybody's like, all right, you got to cut out all these slurs. Yeah, fuck that. At that point, then I, then I ship it off to somebody else to do all that work.

Well, that is the producer, though. Yeah. Yeah. I think you don't understand what a producer is. It's like, yeah, you, you like, yeah, you got to edit shit. And then there's like, you got to deal with, like, all kinds of like you edit out background noise to forget that man that's the thing but what i told you about how i was starting my podcast and i'm like oh i'll figure all this stuff out and do it all and now i'm like forget that dude i'd rather just outsource it all to somebody that can do it because time is money you know and it's like if i if i spend i mean maybe in the long run it would make sense to spend like 20 hours to figure it all out but it's like i don't want to do that like even if i can do it i don't want to do it dude i almost thought about outsourcing my day job like there's There's a part of me where I'm doing shit.

And I was like, man, why am I even fucking doing this? I was like, I was like, I should pay somebody to do my work. I'm like, wait, that's why I have a job to make this money. It's like, let's spite somebody to do it lower. I did that at one of my jobs. One of, a part of the job was getting people's numbers and stuff. So we would just call out to businesses all day long. So I outsourced that to like India.

They would do it for like two bucks an hour. They would do it like crazy cheap. Wait, so your job, you just gave your job there. Yeah, basically. That was part of my job. So that was part of the job was to source, source business. I thought you were a caller and you're like, look, can we just... Yeah, have them do the call.

Yeah, I thought you were just doing that on the sideline. That's fucking sick. No, I would have them do part of it. And then I would just kind of fuck around for a little bit. And then they'd give me back a list of all these numbers and businesses that I could be like, okay, now I can call them. And at first, the job was like, don't do that. Like, that's not smart when they found out I was doing it. And then they were like, actually, can you get us more of these?

Then they had everybody doing it, everybody using it. So I was like... Is India just filled with call centers? because every, it's all outsourced to there. It's gotta be like all call centers and they just know, I don't know, they just have more skills, and they're willing to work for dirt cheap.

So now that we can access them for nothing, why wouldn't you? I've talked about this before on the podcast. Countries have I never been to them, look, I picture it in one way. I picture like a cow in the street and then a woman with a headset. Like it's like, there's no other way

besides going to a country to picture countries in other ways than the stereotypes that you see in your head. I see like one glance of it. Or I'd see like slumdog millionaire and I'm like, okay. Yeah. Which that was cool because I didn't know there was like Indian gangsters. Yeah, that was badass.

I know. When you have that many people, there's going to be some, there's going to be a little bit of everything. Yeah. But yeah, it's the stereotype and less proven otherwise, you know, unless you go there. And then you can be like, oh, it's not like that at all. But it's like probably never going to go there. Also, a lot of places are exactly how you think. Like I've been to Costa Rica, I've been to Haiti and like spot on.

Yeah. So it's what I thought. Haiti. I'm like, yes, there are huts everywhere. Yeah. And everything's made out of sheet metal. Insane poverty. Yeah, I was never like, oh my God, you're going on Haiti. It's fucking nice. No, you're like, no, this is a very hard place. To be fair, you are surprised in some way how bad it is. Like, I think you don't realize how, dude, even I've been to fucking Europe.

I even thought Europe, in a lot of ways was worse than America. Like, I went to Italy and I'm like, yeah, sure, the architecture is good. But everywhere is like, I don't know, they don't have as much AC everywhere. It's like not as nice. Maybe that's just because I'm from Florida and we have AC everywhere. but I'm like it's just not as nice. Like even like I remember going to like you go into like a fucking, I don't know, a McDonald's in Italy. I got that's just something shittier about this. Yeah.

It's not the people. I'm not like it's because there's fucking Italians in this world. But it's like, yeah. I don't know. Have you been anywhere outside the U.S.? That's why we're number one, dude. Nobody. That's why everybody wants to come here.

I've been on like cruises and shit to different places. But other than that, I'm not very well traveled. Which is, I realize it's a big time, like so many people, especially in New York, everybody's been to like all different places or they're from different places. And then when you tell them I've been to like, fucking California, they're like, oh, cool story.

Yeah. This is the least interesting person of all times. But then there's always that douche who's traveled everywhere and you're like, I don't give a fuck way. He always likes to mention like a random-ass country. He's like, oh, you know what's fucking sick. And then it's like some random small country in like Asia that had never been to. He's like, Indonesia's really great to it.

And I'm like, all right, cool. I guess. And then, like, it'll be interesting. But a lot of people are just telling you their stories to show how cool they are. Like they're not, they're not like, oh, this was actually really interesting there. And you're like, oh, that's fascinating. It's like they were like, yeah, I did this and then I did that. Right. Unless you've like lived in a place, like, that's cool.

But if you just went and like saw it, it's like, yeah, whatever. I could, I could do that on Google. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you lived there for like a year, if you lived in a year in like Africa, then I'm like, okay, you've definitely done some shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've seen something. Yeah, that is one you don't hear a lot.

because it seems scary. Yeah. But I'm just thinking about, dude, I did like the, we had a class thing where we had to, this is probably a really racist thing I did when I was a kid. So you had to do a class project. And the class project was you each pick a country and you have to do a like, you get,

did you ever do those, it wasn't a poster board. It was a three-way folding board where you do like a school project, like a science fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what the hell was that called? I forget what. Not a shadow box.

Remember shadow boxes? That was like a shoe box where you would fill it up with like different scenes. Yes. This was like a tri- Yeah, it was like a trifold or something like that. Yeah, you put different like things. And we had a science fair. Yeah.

And everybody would do the volcano. And they'd be like, this is my volcano. We're like, yeah, we've seen a million of those. Everybody's done that. Or you do the tour, the two, uh, two liter bottles, attach them to each other, spin around the water and it makes like a tornado. A tornado. That was dope.

I had one that was, uh, it was so funny because I, I realized it was incorrect. Like, there's no way for me to solve it. I was like, the first one was like, okay, can sound travel faster through water, metal, or wood? And then I'm there with a stopwatch trying to see it. And I'm like, wait, this is like millisecond.

Like, there's no way you can, like, define it. You know what I mean? I'm like, well, just see what sound travels through. You hit this. It was like a Metro no. Or not Metro. What do you call those like metals, like pick things? You banging on something goes boom.

A gong, a bell. Yeah, it was one of those. I have like a one of those. water balloon and my dad's like banging it against my ear. The stuff that we waste our time on in school, it's just like, why, it's like, teach me about tax, teach me about, like, how to handle money or something. Oh, for sure. Like, why is there no finance class or why is there no, like, hey, this is what, we'll figure out

what you want to do with your life class. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But, I mean, it makes for good stories when you have, when you have science classes that are making you do all types of weird shit. Oh, yeah. we had one science teacher. By the way,

I'm going to get back to the country thing. My country was Democratic Republic of the Congo. I'll talk about in a second how a racist to go. Good pick, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this would be sick, the fucking Congo. Yeah. But, do we had a science teacher, I remember,

and she was like the, she was the wife of our principal in middle school. Yeah. And she was just the dumbest motherfucker on earth. Like, every day.

I thought you were going to say the hottest. No, no, no, she's so fucking stupid. Usually they go hand in hand. Yeah, yeah. Well,

She'd just be on the computer all day and then literally wouldn't start class for like 20 minutes just because she's the principal's wife. We'd be like, hey, she's like, do you guys know how much tickets to Disney World are? And somebody's like $85. She's like, okay, good. And then we'll just go in. That's before you were like, when you're a kid, you don't realize like teachers are just people. They're just people. I did.

All you knew right away. I'm cocky by this all the time. I knew how stupid all the adults were I was like, this person's a dumb out. Like there were people. I was like, okay, there's obviously intelligent teachers too. But I was like, I knew I was like, this person's stupid. They hate their job. And they're going to take it out on us.

Yeah, or they're going to have us watch movies and stuff all day and they're not going to... Yeah. They're not going to care. They're going to mail it in. But, I mean, you can't blame them because it's like, yeah, they're getting paid, not that much. They're having to deal with kids, especially high school teachers. Can you imagine being a high school teacher? Oh, we fucking deal with all the...

I mean, yeah, it'd be a nightmare. Yeah, it'd be horrible. Yeah. We had one... Yeah, because I remember, like, I remember always knowing how stupid they were. Like, our health teacher has one thing where he's like, okay, we did demonstrations, like, Susie has AIDS, right? So first off, that's an act

Because it's so hard for women to get AIDS It's like almost impossible Is it? It's like very hard for women to get AIDS, yeah Why? It's through anal, isn't it? Yeah, but there's, for some reason dudes get AIDS and women just like do not get AIDS

Interesting, I wonder what the But when we get like UTIs more Or something like that Yeah, I'm sure there's some negatives To be in a woman, but There's a lot, yeah The AIDS thing they slip by on, huh? Yeah, yeah, I don't know what is, but

Monkey Pots, are they not getting monkey pox either? See, they said the gay community But the gay, I think they're mean Gay dudes are getting monkey bucks I don't think lesbians are getting monkey bucks No Lesbian sex is probably like one of the Least invasive

Yeah But then it's also like, I don't know Because you're doing, you're not wearing condoms Right, but there's not a whole lot of penetration going on I think the big thing is the rubbing clits The dick gets pretty deep in there You're not going to get SDD from a strap on That's a good point

Right unless it's a riddled STD Dildo. That's so funny. He'd just be like, yeah, no, I found out my strap on was... Has STDs? I wonder if that's ever happened. Like, you fuck somebody with a strap on, you leave it off to the side or whatever,

that person had an STD. I wonder how long an STD stays on a strap on. Yeah, I have no idea. That sounds like a science experiment that you could have done in class. Imagine if that was your science. How long does strap on? You're like, this is actually useful. Fuck sound.

Like, this somebody could actually put to use. Yeah. Well, as I wonder, a health class, like, for kids now because you, like, they have to go into strap-ons when they're teaching sex. The kids, because half the kids are gay now. Not half, but you know what I mean? Like, way more than, like, when we're kids. That's the thing. Sex Ed now has to be so weird, because you can't just, back in the day, it was just straight vaginal.

Dude, we didn't, I don't even think they mentioned gay sex in our sex class. No, no. And definitely not anal, definitely not oral. They got into anal and oral and stuff. Really? Yeah. I don't know that we ever did. I remember my teacher. He was this dude with a, uh, I had a middle school teacher, so I had a,

take sex back to back because I transferred schools. And public school taught it later, which is dumb. You should teach them younger because those kids are getting fucking pregnant when they're like in eighth grade. Yeah. But I switched from private to public school. Private school, eighth grade, we had a teacher who was like the gym coach. Kind of a dude shaved his legs.

Yeah. But then after that, we had this dude who was like he was weird because he like was this dude who was like gym coach energy, but he had a tongue ring. But everything else was like Jim coach. It was very weird because he wasn't like gay. But he was just like... It would have been like one of those...

I guess gay dudes don't really have tongue rings. It's like a... No, I think that's a gay dude. I think it's a gay dude thing. Or at least he's at least try. He's dabbled in that scene. Yeah, I know girls do it because I say it gives better head, but that doesn't even make any sense to me.

I don't know that it does either. I think it just shows that you're willing to do some freaky shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. That person gets out. If you're putting something through your tongue, I love the people with, like, crazy piercings and they're like, I'm not like, you know what I mean? I'm just like everybody else. I'm like, well, I mean, you're not really proving me.

You're kind of a freak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm out of my fucking mind, too. Right. But, yeah, you're kind of wearing it on your body. That would be funny if a girl just had all these piercings and then she was like super bland.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just missionary. You're like, well, this is false advertising for sure. Yeah. But the dude gets on and he's like, he's like, listen, I'm going to be saying stuff like anal sex, oral snacks. And he's like, and you guys don't laugh. Snacks. And we're like, I don't know how to laugh at you're seriously with the trivia is saying anal sex.

Yeah. And also, like, is he enjoying? it too? Like, that's a weird thing to teach eighth grade kids about sex. They're all horny. You're a dude. You're a weird dude. Like, you're probably enjoying it a little bit too. He was just hilarious because I love

public school because the kids didn't give a fuck. No, just throwing shit out of faggot. It was the funniest thing in the world. She's like, I'm not going to fucking listen to you. And it's just like, and we're just watching it and he's like, it's so funny because you can't win. When you're like an adult arguing with a kid, they can say whatever the fuck they want

to you. And you can't like, be like, yeah well you're fucking fat like she was fat and I was like no you can't say shit to her right you just gotta be like oh oh go to the principal's office she's like fuck you bitch and then there's just like nothing dude girls are ruthless at that age because yeah I think they start to realize their power they're just like oh nobody can really do shit to me I'm I can I can play both sides I can I'm I actually think like this you go to the principal officer she'd be like you so mean to me yeah like I think like a dude but I have all the benefits of being a chick so it's like once you put those two together unstoppable

It can be ruthless. And there's something really funny about a girl saying that word that's just like... Oh, because it's not... Like, female homophobia is funnier. Because, like, dude, I don't know why. It's like you're trying to prove your mask. Like, most dudes that are homophobic, I think you're trying to prove how tough they are. They're like, yeah, man, I don't do no gay shit, blah, blah, blah.

Right. But like a woman, I don't know where... It's like, she's like, almost like, I don't know what it is. It's a different kind of thing. But she was like, she was like from the streets. She was hilarious, though. Yeah, it kind of gets you when a girl... when a girl talks filthy like that, occasionally.

You know, if they talk like that all the time, then it's like, all right, this girl's kind of trashy. But when she throws in something like that... Oh, this girl was trashy also. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if a girl does that in, like the middle of it kind of, I'm like, all right, this girl's fucking... This girl's cool.

You're just like, damn, yeah. But he did this one thing. I remember he goes, all right, so Susie has AIDS. She has sex to Billy, who has sex with Tommy, who has sex with Aaron, who has intervened as drug use. They share a needle. And so now all these people have AIDS. And I'm literally like, if one person wears a condom, then I don't get eight.

It's like, how do you not? The streak is broken. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, what do you fucking talking about? Yeah, just teaches about condoms. Yeah, that would be so much easier. Or, yeah, that was weird because AIDS was big in what, like the 80s, maybe early 90s. Yeah, and things were like, don't touch gay people.

Like, it was very homophobic. And since it was like, people were, like, scared. Which, to be fair to people that lived back then, I'm sure they had no idea what it was. And they thought, like, they thought, like, it was one of those things where they didn't know enough about us. they were telling straight people that could get a, and apparently it's just very hard to get it from a vagina because women just don't. Yeah, yeah.

But anal. Anil opens a whole other... But I still think... I think... Let me look up some stats on this. Well, now it can be all doctored. You know, now that Google filters a lot of shit, they can be like...

Like with Monkey Pox, I think the CDC was saying you're just as likely to get it guys and girls, but they know that's not true, but they just don't want to... They don't want to... Is isolate. Does HIV affect women? Yes.

According to the Center of Deas control, in 2018, 19% of the HIV population were women. So 80% of people. Yeah, we're dudes. Yeah, yeah. But now it's like, yeah, they don't want to be politically incorrect even with diseases. So they're like, no, Muggy Pucks gets everyone the same and it doesn't discriminate. And it's like clearly there's stats that show otherwise, but they don't want to be the group that says, like, no gay sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's also just like, I don't know, it's like condo. Like, it's like, you know what I mean? It's like, unfortunately, it's like, you probably got to wear a car. Or like, I don't know, or just wait to figure out the vaccine stuff with it. I don't know. But what was I saying? It's like only 20% of women kidates. And that's also, that could be intervened as drug use.

Like, that's probably not from sex. It's like, if you think about those people probably do it. Because like, obviously if you share a heroin needle, you're probably getting it. That's one of the dumbest things ever. But I guess so unprotected sex is just as dangerous as that. And we do that all the time. Like when you're like, how could anybody share a needle? It's like, it's the same as unprotected sex, basically.

Yeah, and in your mind you're like, this is going to feel so good either way. It's like the same thing where you're like, all right, fuck it. And also, if you're already doing heroin, do you really care about like safety? Like, you probably, I don't want to say you're suicidal, but you're probably pretty, you probably don't really give a shit, right? Because heroin feels so good that you're not thinking about. Yeah, you're not anything else. Yeah. My favorites, I watched a video on, like, methamphetamine addiction.

Yeah. And it was like two people and they're like, we're here to destigmatize methamphetamine. They're like, a lot of people think it's just for homeless people and junkies, but normal people do methamphetamine. And the first woman's like, she's like, I'm a woman. And I was just a typical house mom, you know, raising kids, nine to five, blah, blah, blah. And I would do meth to like take care of my kids. But then the story would get crazy. And she's like, I originally started doing meth when my boyfriend and I would do heroin together.

And I'm like, okay, you've already showed us that your mom doing heroin with a boy. You've already showed us that, like, this is not... There's something just about the word boyfriend coming from, like, a mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, you don't have your life under control. If you're using the term boyfriend, I don't know, it should be like partner or something. It's like, if a man's like, yeah, I'm a father. Anyways, I met my girlfriend.

You're like, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. You fucked up. Me and my girlfriend went on vacation with my kids. It's like, oh, already, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, we went to fucking some trashy place. They probably went to, like, Atlantic City for their vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're already showing, but it's funny, too, because they have cartoon characters, like, displaying these people with their voices. And there's a guy who's like, it's like a gay man. He's like, yeah, I'm a meth user too. It's like, I'm not, you know, some junky person. He's like, so anyways, I went to the hospital because I was injecting it into my penis. And I'm like, yo, dude. You're a junkie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is nuts.

Injecting meth into your penis, you'd be like, let's destigmatize. Yeah. It's crazy how far the line can get pushed back for some people that they're just like, no, not yet. I still have it under control. It's like, dude, you do not have it. It's not. But it's so similar to sex, like when you think about it, in the, like, at any time,

you'd be like, yeah, of course, wear a condom with some random chick you just met that night. But in the moment, when it's like about to happen, you'd just be like, all your brain goes out the window. So I imagine with heroin, it's like the same thing. You're just like, in the moment you just want to get high and you're like,

fuck this, I'll do anything, yeah, do whatever it takes. Well, that was a funny part too. The guy's talking about going to the doctors. He's like, yeah, I had to go to the doctors because I was injecting into my penis. And he's like, I was so embarrassed that I told him I was injecting cocaine into my penis. I'm like, that's so fucking funny that you're like, you're like, oh, I don't even think I'm a psychopath. Let me tell him I was injecting coke into my car.

It's like that. Injecting anything in your penis. People start doing that. Porn starts doing that with Viagra. That's like a thing. They have like dick. Maybe it's not Viagra per se, but it's like they start. Yeah, it's like steroids basically for your for your dick.

It's fucking. Don't, at any point, if you're listening to this podcast, don't injecting anything. anything into your cock. There's some super health guy, Ben Greenfield, you know, Ben Greenfield? No, does he eject Cale into his cock? Of course you don't know, Michael. You're not in the fitness world. But he's like this Uber insanely

health dude that his whole life is dedicated to him being healthy, everything. He probably does some crazy. And he was talking about injecting shit into his his dick to get his dick performance up. And it was like stem cells or something like that. And he's like, it's science. It's not bad. Even for him, he was like, yeah, it was probably a little too much.

Like, when I got into it, he's like, I went a little far down because every other part of his body, he's optimizing. And then when it came to, like, his dick, he's like, I was injecting. I forget what he was injecting in it, but something that he was like, yeah, I don't know what the, nobody knows what's going to happen down the line. Like, the shit I was putting into it, it could have effects somewhere down the road. Do you stem cells? That's weird. How does that work? And it's like when you're already, like, you're taking care of the rest of your body.

do you really need your dick to be that? Like, he's been married for like 20 years and shit. Like, dude, fucking, who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know what sex is after like a year. You're like, oh, your wife's gonna be like, oh my God, it's so much better now. It's like, come on.

Yeah. But that's probably one of those, like, obsessive. Some of those exercise people, it's like, they're insane. It's like the same with a lot of, like, people who are addicts. Then they get an exercise and then they get crazy with it where they're, like, working out like five hours a day.

Yeah, and you're like, oh, I kind of wish you were back on drugs. Yeah, because now you're even more annoying. Yeah, that'd be very tolerable. Everybody get healthy. It's like, shut up. That is always funny where like some people get sober and immediately they start. They're like, you know that's a sign of addiction. I'm like, all right. It's like

do we do with that a lot in in comedy. I wonder if comedy has more recovering addicts or if they just talk about it more openly because it's probably similar in like office jobs or just in life where people had an addiction, got sober, and then they're able to just go on with their

lives. But in comedy, they talk about it a lot. But maybe it's also comedy draws people to it that have that addiction and comedy I feel like for a lot of people is that rush that they can't get from drugs and stuff because you can still kind of it comedy's kind of addicting in the way that you get that endorphin rush when you're on stage oh 100% yeah it's basically like it's very euphoric yeah so it's basically like they can no longer need the drugs to do the kind of you need something I think so yeah some people turn to fitness some people turn to whatever but you need something to fill that whole boy yeah

this fucking project though. So I was doing the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Yeah. And I'm looking all this shit up and I'm like, okay. There's like the Tutsis and the Hutus, like the two like religious tribes that like fight each other. Yeah. And I literally go in and I'm shirtless with like a grass skirt and like war paint on.

I got a spear. Just like the most racist thing possible. By the way, not a single person was like you shouldn't do that. Like everybody was like. Of course because it's it's innocent. And you're not being like, look how funny this is. You're just, I mean, maybe. I thought it was badass. That was cool.

Yeah, and also, I don't know why that would be... I mean, I kind of get why it is, but why is that racist? You're just like being like this... It was like wearing Native American shit back in the day. I used to do that for Halloween all the time. But I think it's because you're choosing the worst of the... Like, the guy throwing a spear. That's like the most...

Yeah, but that guy probably doesn't think he's the worst. That guy's like, no, I'm the fucking best thing. I'm the best thing that represents this country. This is what built this country. That's true. It's like dressing up as like, one of the forefathers of America. I don't know if a guy throwing a spear is one of the four fathers.

But like I kind of get, okay, so I'm trying to like break a day because I kind of get what you're saying in a sense. It's like that guy is a warrior in some sense. Yeah, and he represents their country. Right. But you obviously are as like a fifth grade or whatever, don't, aren't able to encapsulate everything about it. Like in my mind, I was like, oh, because I did look at pictures.

I mimicked what I saw on pictures. I was like, oh, this is what this dude looks like. This is kind of badass. Right. But I wonder, like, if you were, like, the president of the Democratic Republic of Congo, if you're like, you know what I mean? These aren't our most proud citizens. The guy who's, like, getting in a tribe war with somebody else. Yeah, maybe if he's, like, if he's the one doing the genocide over there, maybe that's not the best guy to stress up as.

If he's going into different tribes and, like, murdering and raping all the women, then, yeah, maybe if that's who you picked. Yeah, I don't know. because I think it's also like, I think that Africa gets like diminished to like just a guy. Yeah, like tribes and stuff. Yeah.

That's like a slur. It's like a spear chucker. That's like a slur for black people. So I'm like, I get why like people get offended by it. Like, right. You know what I mean?

It's like, if you're like, if you're like, oh, that like you're like, yeah. But if you date it, maybe if you're like from the 1700s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah. But it's, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's a good point. I don't know. I'm reading this book on Teddy Roosevelt right now, not to brag.

Not that I read all the time, but my dad just gave me this book. And it's about how when he lost, so he ran for presidency the third time, which I guess you were allowed to do back then. Oh, you were? Well, he did it as like an independent. So he was president twice, and then he ran a third time as an independent, which I guess you were allowed to do back then. Maybe you still are.

You still do it. You just don't win. I've voted independent, and they just don't win. Yeah, right. So he basically knew he wasn't going to win, but he still thought he was going to win. so he was upset when he lost as an independent. So he was all sad and he's like, I need some more adventure in my life.

So he's like, I'm going to go discover something in the Amazon that's never been discovered before. So he got this whole- That where AIDS happened? Yeah, he got this whole crew together of like the best explorers and stuff

and all these people had like gone there before tried to discover it, but they lost like tons of people on the way. They get sick. They get attacked by the tribes that are out there and all the shit. And Teddy Roosevelt's like, yeah,

fuck it, let's do it. So I'm only like halfway through the book And right now, they've already, like, a few people have already died and all the shit. And he's just like, and they're writing letters the whole time. They're like, and this letter that he wrote to his wife was like, oh, we lost one person today. But they go and they have to like meet these tribes that have never seen them before. Yeah. And they have to like interact with them and the tribes will either like attack them or somehow they're able to like be friends.

Well, they also have like guns though. So I feel like in their mind, they're like, yeah, I think this will go fine. Yeah, that's sure. It goes fine. But it's also weird. It's like seeing something you've never seen before. and then try, like, the only thing they have in common is that they're human, but other than that, they're so far apart. And this was in, yeah, because you're on the other side of the world.

Yeah, this isn't like the early 1900s. And it's like, they were still so, there were still parts of the Amazon that hadn't been discovered. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's people living there. So that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to say it hasn't, but I guess it hasn't been discovered by the white man yet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. People are already there living happily, but we're just like, yeah, we're going to discover it. It's like, no, it's been there for a lot. It's been there for longer than we've been there. Right, yeah, yeah. But it's interesting.

Yeah, no, it is. I also, like, have you seen, there's one meme about that? They're like, because there's some people get like, there was that one guy who got, like, murdered trying to, like, he was trying to, like, bring Christianity. Dude, that one of that. He just got, like, speared, which is so fucking.

On the boat. I don't even think he got to the land. I think he was on the boat, like, going over there, and they just fucking teed him up with some bow and arrows. Oh, my God. But I think some of that people, I don't know enough history. People say a lot of that is because of, like, imperialism and stuff like that because it's like we would like go to those places that we're

like developing yeah and then just like take all of their resources and so just like fall apart it would be like yeah we're gonna kill all your rhinos for like boner pills yeah but isn't that viagra comes from like rhino horn i think that's i don't think that's true but people believe that so they keep killing rhinos yeah yeah and they think they have like rhino horn soup and um they think it gives them like better erections but there's like zero scientific evidence that's true yeah but because it's uh because it's uh because it's rare and that's what i mean if you think something enough you can probably make it true

if you're like yeah this is gonna make me fuck like an animal and then you fuck that night and fuck like an animal you're like holy shit yeah might have just been like maybe you are just a just a great fucker you know yeah my favorite one i read about there's a uh there's like a tribe in africa they had a

cock sleeve like a sleeve and it had needles in it and it was measured to your penis when it was limp so when you get hard your wife would have like control of it and when you get hard not around her it would like the needles would dig into your dick or something like that. So when you're around your wife somewhere, I saw a Ripley's believe it or not. So I don't know if it's legit.

That is, I mean, honestly, that's the only way you can hope to fucking contain it, you know, is to like zap somebody into submission. But I don't know. I would prefer not to wear that if I had an option. But. Yeah. This is way different. Look at African penis sleeve.

It's like sleeves of like a black dick. That's like a bigger dick. Penis sleeve, dude. That's so great. Yeah. I mean... I think it's sheath is a better word. Sheath needles.

Yeah, it's like a coteca. My girlfriend the other day was like, I can't believe how small a dick gets when it's not... When it's not... So, didn't she four and two? Yeah. So how did she say it? It's not to do with anything.

Well, it's just funny. I don't know why. Aren't they bigger dicks over in different countries? That is a thing. They have, like, charts like national averages and, like, it's exactly how you'd expect it to turn out. Yeah. I imagine ours are towards the bottom. But Africa is like, also, who's going to Africa and measure?

You know, they're like, yeah, we're doing an American experiment where we're measuring black guys dicks in Africa. Like, there's no way they were like. I heard there was just an experiment recently to see if squirting was real. And what they did. The blue dye. They emptied all their urine out. Yeah. And what was the conclusion?

I just heard that they did it. I didn't hear what the conclusion. It's mostly piss, but a little bit of girl cum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. I'm looking at this up, though.

The Koteca is also referred to as a horam or penis gourd. It is a penis sheet traditionally worn by a native. Yep, I got the country way off. And also, how do they have the technology for the wife to zap them if they're in a... No, no, they're not zapping it. It's like...

Oh, they just wear it when they go out, not around the way. this is a different one. This is an Indonesia. It's like just a gourd you put on your... Dude, that's so funny. Just like... Just a decoration. Yeah. I could... Anti-rape device. Yeah, I can see that for a guy.

That's what a woman puts in her pussy. Oh, interesting. The anti-rape device is one of the variety vented for the purpose of deterring rape. I would guess that's what's for. Yeah. The first such device where the chastity belt of the 15th century, although number of devices have been proposed, none of them are commercial productions as of 2017. Yeah, that's a hard thing to advertise. You're like, hey, ladies, want to stop getting raped? But I mean, it should be.

We're not going to take responsibility. Isn't that what pepper spray is and tasers are? Aren't those kind of the same thing? But this is more like, I mean, this is over the top, because then you have to put something inside your vagina. Some of the most well-known anti-rape devices were proposed in South Africa. South African, okay, because it's like in this country, like, yeah, it says that there's low rape convictions. So it's one of those that like there's needles in it. So when somebody tries to rape you, they get needles in their

dicks. Like that's the punishment. But also then if he pulls it out, he's going to rape you harder. No, not of his dicks all chopped up. That's a good point. But yeah, he will not be happy. No. Yeah. Worldwide has a victim rape attempt. Yeah, it's a fun topic.

Anyways, there is this penis thing. I can't find it. Yeah, the penis The penis sleeve is a That's a tough idea I don't know It didn't make a lot of sense When I was learning about it

Ripley's believe it or not But you know Dude that show was the best back Well I was talking about the museum They have like the museums They have that in there Yeah yeah Wow

Yeah that's pretty cool And you try it on With whoever you're I'm just And you just get hard Right in the middle of there Yeah You're like all pissed

It's all dudes Having fights with their girls Sorry it was that weird Mermaid they had dude it's tough to um i mean in the city it's tough to not get hard every once in a while you know it's hard for me to not to go to ripples

it looks like fun but yeah around here it's just uh it's just nonstop with the uh with the amount of beautiful chicks that are around but it's also mixed in with all the crazy so it's like you're kind of every other person's you can't really be hot you're on a track yeah yeah you can't really you don't have time to be hard

you're just like holy shit that girl's beautiful. Holy shit. Here's a crazy guy about to fucking attack me. Dude, I saw a crackhead out here the other day.

It was so funny. So I don't know if you've seen the, there's like some tents on the corner here. Oh, I saw him. Yeah,

I took a nap in there. Yeah, I was talking to you about because of raising my rent. I'm like, dude, I'm so about to just tent up right in front of my apartment and be like,

dude, it's crazy that these people act like that's not there. You know, it's like, yeah, we're going to raise the rent. It's like, what about the encampment

right outside my door? I'm not saying kick him out. I'm saying lower my rent. Yeah, can I get a couple bucks off? Yeah. Can you at least keep rent the same because of that? Because of what I'm dealing with? They're like, no, somebody will pay it.

And that's a thing. Somebody will pay it. Oh, for sure. It's just hilarious. They're going to start showing it off with us here. And we're going to be like, yeah, fucking sucks here. Like, we're just going to be, because you can do that. And I'm going to be like, yeah, it's horrible.

Yeah. Well, what are they going to do? My girlfriend's friend does that. She's like, they fucked her with, like, rent or whatever. And now they're like, yeah, so here's the apartment. And she's like, yeah, honestly, like, the heating bills through the roof, all this stuff and just, like, says all this shit to them. And then what? They'll leave you guys here.

You'll just fuck them over on your way out. You just fuck them over. But honestly, I fuck you on the way out. Yeah, yeah. That's how I feel. Are they raising it significantly? Because are you to $1,000 a month? Yeah, extra.

And I'm like, that's so convenient because I actually just started gaining a thousand more. It's like, no. Who fucking, you're trying to price this out. They must have, uh, not, uh, senior only fans. And they're like, Michael, we want a piece of that. Yeah, we know you're making some extra cash. Yeah. that's not price gouging or whatever

I guess there's no rules there's no loss they can jack it up whenever I mean there's rent rent control departments but there's rent stabilized but um you gotta get into one of those things but yeah

I think you only do that if you live there for like our landlord it put ours up like 30 bucks oh that's beautiful I know and I were like do we even need to sign this lease like what's going on

yeah it's funny to try to fight him on that be like 30 bucks I can't where am I supposed to get what's 30 times 12 fucking... It's a lot. There's no way

to know. Well... 360. Yeah, there's no way I could afford that in a year. It's like, yeah. I would have

seen how long that would have taken you to come up for that. Dude, for ever. I'm fucking so stupid. Just math. You have other shit down. No,

no, I'm better get fired for my job because I'm so fucking stupid. Yeah, but you have, you have like information in your head

that you'll never need but it's in there. Yeah, yeah. Like, useless information. Lots of useless shit. Yeah, but math.

I mean, math is kind of useless now too. Unless somebody's trying to make you look dumb, like right there. But otherwise, like, you just pull out a calculator and you're good.

Although sometimes you don't even know what to calculate sometimes with, with, tickets sales. I remember you'd come up and be like, fuck, I had, I probably got fucked all the time,

I had 12 tickets, then I sold three more. How much is that? Like, that's 15. You were like, yeah, but how much money? I'm like 15 times 10.

Yeah, yeah, it's very basic. But also, some people are so proud of math. There's always that, like, movie where they're like, yeah, he's a math whiz.

And he'd be like, 433 times 3rdabal blah blah blah I'm like that's great I could have used a calculator found that and would take me more time but yeah it's not as impressive

or not as important as it used to be maybe that was a good skill and also why why would anybody need that skill back in the day you know I'm mad

I need somebody counting the shit but either way one guy's really good at math he's probably just stealing all the money you know what I mean it's like if you're you're like the math guy

back in the day when nobody else could do very good money right right and you're like yeah yeah I'll watch all the money and I'll count all that yeah you can trust me

but the crack I saw out there dude, he was on crack and he had a elliptical, like a step climber. And he was just running on a step climber. It's so funny because this guy stole a stepclimer, which is heavy. And then he was like, he probably in his mind was like, okay, I'll be able to sell this. Or maybe it was like, there's probably somebody put it outside their building. We don't, like, we don't want this.

But it's so funny. You see him high on crack, just like step in it. Dude, they had some good stuff there. They had it all, by the way. They had some bikes. I got my, my preferred method of nicotine, which is dip, baby. I've seen more and more people using these pouches, these nicotine powys. which is a sponsor of your show, I assume.

What do they call? On. Zins are like $8 bucks a thing, but $8 bucks a pack. Sorry, I just looked at my phone there. And these are like $2 a pack, so it's like, you've got to go with these. Yeah, if it's worth it. You're almost losing money by not being addicted to nicotine. Yeah, that case, yeah.

That's what that works. Nicotine is really good for you in small amounts. It actually is. If you consume it the right way, it's really good for you. But it's also just... It's good for your brain. I think it like prevents Alzheimer's or something like that. Yeah. It's just super addicting. But so is caffeine. I mean, I'm like super addicted to caffeine for sure. But, um, yeah, they say like once you get addicted to something, once it's no longer providing you a benefit and you're just doing it to like stabilize, then you need to get off it.

Yeah. Yeah. And if you get off it for like a week, then you can pick it back up again. Like coffee every once in a while, I try to get off it. But then you stop for four days and then it works again. Right. Great. Yeah. Right. But it's just so hard to have that day. off. You're like, I'm not going to drink coffee all day today. You're just like, oh, well, this day is going to be a wash. Oh, yeah. You're not getting shit done. Right. That was like me today where I fucking, so that bar downstairs, I have the owner's number, so I was like,

by the way, fuck you. Fuck you, Kibar. I'm done. I used to be like, I'm not going to say the name of fuck you guys. Yeah. Because the owner, he's this like Hungarian guy. She's basically German. I don't know the difference. They're similar or whatever. It's all the same. And he, um, he, I got his number and like, let me know if it's ever loud. And I would text him when it was loud and he occasionally turned down.

And the last night I texted him at 2 a.m. I'm like, hey, man, it's really loud. Can you please turn down? It doesn't answer. I go down there. And he goes, oh, my gosh, is it loud? Is it loud? He goes, I will turn it down. I'm so sorry.

Gives me a huggy. He goes, I'm so sorry, I was out of town. Has it been loud? I'm like, out of town. Yeah, when you're not out of town. Yeah. And then I go upstairs, does not turn down a notch. My room is just fucking shaking.

And then they start street construction in 8 a.m. So I, from 4 to 8, I fucking... You must be furious. Dude, I feel like fucking garbage. You gotta move out of here anyways. You gotta get out to get the fuck out of here anyways. Yeah, now I'm fine. I was so worried they raised my rent now.

I'm like, dude, it's bad. It's a sign from the universe to get you out of here. Yeah, I was so many going to text to my boss. I was like, hey, listen, I got like zero sleeping so sorry. I'm be slower today. She's like, I don't need excuses. And I'm like, that's awesome. She hates me, dude.

She fucking hates me. A great employee like you, how could you? I'm telling you, dude, you got to get on the Grubhubhub train, dude. I don't think I can. make like enough money doing it. You probably have savings. I feel like you're a savings guy. I don't have savings.

If you're smart with your money, you can make it work. You can, you can, yeah, if you do it enough, it's all about how much you do it. And then you parlay it with some other stuff. And before you know it, dude, you're fucking cruising. I'm going to die out of a bike, dude. You're cruising. The bike lanes are very, um, it's a very biker friendly city. Yeah, it is kind of the future.

I was outside the other day and there was this dude I saw with, you know, those scooters? I saw a dude with just no legs just scooting like on an electric scooter That's kind of cool I was like this guy's like His whole life changed because of the scooter Yeah and in that lane It's like he can go fast

It's like he can't rub a car Because he's no fucking legs Right But the scooter doesn't He's just sitting in the seat of the scooter I mean balance it got to be hard But it's one of those like I think two wheels in front

Two wheels in back And he's just scooting in the bike lane I'm like oh that's kind of a sick Yeah it's changed the game And the whole city should be scooters Although sometimes the scooters are scooter guys are pretty reckless too. Like they could do some damage to you.

Oh, yeah. Dude, especially, bro, these Grubhub guys are great. Okay, yeah, there's you, but then there's also like

the Guatemalan guy that's going a thousand miles in a while. You know what I mean? He's got to time his money, dude. Yeah. It's like, you gotta make it.

I always want to get mad at him and I'm like, he's probably trying to feed his family, right? I was like, I can't be mad of this guy for like cutting me off because I'm like,

he's flying and I'm like. But that's like Uber drivers too. Like I don't, If I ever have, like, a bad Uber driver, I'm not going to give him five. People are always like, yeah, just give him all five stars anyway. It's like, no, that guy's going to kill somebody for sure. Yeah, yeah. Like, I've had some terrible Uber drivers.

I'm like, how is this guy still on the road? It's because people feel bad and they're like, oh, he's got to feed his family. It's like, not at the risk of my life is this guy going to feed his family. Yeah, I had a friend to fight an Uber driver. And then he got kicked off the app. And he's always just like, dude, can we please do it on your car? And I was like, maybe you shouldn't have fought the fuck. What do you think is going to?

But I can see that. It's like, they're. people. So there's going to be all these weird interactions. But I was an Uber driver for a while. And it's really easy to not be an asshole. I loved it, bro. It was one of the most fun jobs in the world. It's great. By the end, I was just put on podcasts. I wasn't like, like, I wasn't trying to please anybody. And yeah, I feel like the expectations got lower and lower from people that they were just like, if you just get me there and don't say anything, that's a, that's five stars. Oh, yeah. In the beginning, it was like, be nice to everybody. Talk to everybody. Find out about

them do what they want and now by the end it was like you get me to one one place without bitching it's fucking perfect yeah and then they had they added that feature that was like no small talk or something like oh I do that's the thing that's kind of dope they added that was like I prefer no small talk I was like you don't have to

tell me that yeah trust me I'm not gonna be in here trying to talk to anybody yeah the worst is you ever get an Uber and I'm like I'm really in a rush like it's always the airport that I'm like I'm not sure I'm to make my flight yeah and they'll just go the same speed and I'm like but then they'll speed when I don't have to go somewhere I'm like there's no yeah people would tell me that sometimes when I was driving they're like I gotta get to the airport like can you go fast I'm like no yeah I'm gonna go home you're late it's your fault yeah yeah you want me to risk

my life and I'm like you're not paying for the ticket if I get a ticket so yeah yeah it is funny because when I'm in that position I'm like why doesn't this can fucking go but then if I was driving I would not go faster no you go to the same speed no matter what but yeah I don't know man some bad some bad some bad drivers out there some bad grubbers out there but but those those those, the Hispanic ones, I mean, I've never seen somebody go faster in my life on a bicycle. There's electric bikes and they're going like, it's always like a very small Hispanic man going like so fucking fast. And he's going like, he's going like on the sidewalk, off the sidewalk. It's kind of cool.

It's like watching like somebody in like an action movie. It's like a video game. Yeah, you see him just like swerving in between cars and shit. They don't stop at lights either. They'll go cruising through lights. Every red light. How do they do that? Every red light in New York, one car goes past.

Right. Like it's physically anybody that's like, oh, okay, this red light let me cross. Like, no. Every single red light, I don't know. I've seen, I guarantee you go, yeah, you gotta wait. You gotta wait an extra couple ticks. Every fucking red light.

And I'm like amazed, you don't, like I've seen, uh, one person I saw, actually now I've seen two people hit by car. Not actually get hit, but like somebody who's like, yeah,

no, uh, I was hit by a car and then you see like where their bicycle is and it's like really far away. You're like, you must have gotten fucking launched. Damn, dude. Yeah,

I've, uh, I've seen like the remnants of a scene. I've never been there for the actual scene. I've, I have huge foam on when I, I miss the accent. There's blood everywhere.

There's a good child. Where's the, people are around screaming. I'm like, did I miss it again? And some of they're like, fuck, this is horrible.

They're like, yeah, it is horrible. You're like, I missed it. Was it good? Yeah. What nationality?

He's asking the worst question. Oh, dude, the crazy thing is, is I always see grubhubh drivers like congregating together and hanging out. And I'm like, how do I get into that group of,

oh yeah, because you're not. You got to be Hispanic, bro. Yeah, but I'm like, Why do they, there's zero time that you would ever want to, that you'd ever be like, all, all right, let's all meet up here because you're constantly going in these weird directions. But yeah, I'm always wondering, they'll be hanging out.

And then, and then I'll see one and be like, oh, I got to order. I got to, I got to go. I'm like, damn, I want to do that. Yeah, being that, that squad. I saw a, I saw a woman. It was so funny because there was an old woman and she's on the ground. And she's like, Miss, he hit me with his car. And he's like, I backed up very slowly.

The guy's trying to defend himself. It's the funniest thing. He goes, I think you're fine. He's like, you should get up and maybe try to walk. And she's like, I can't walk.

And he's like, I think you should try to walk. Like, it's just so much, he's like, no, dude, you just hit an old lady. Like,

take responsibility. Yeah, yeah. But just seeing a guy trying to defend himself for hitting an old lady with a car is hilarious. Dude, you just want to get out of there

because it's like, nothing good can come from, from that. You just want to be like, especially if you're the guy that has to, like, help somebody that's hurt. you're just like, oh, now I'm involved in this situation.

See, I don't mind because I always feel like hopefully the caramel will come back. Yeah. Maybe something will. In the city, it just never feels like. It feels like it's like, everything's against you always. If you see something, you just keep walking and be like, not mine. Because once you get involved, anything can happen. Yeah, that is.

And there's so many, like, scam artists out there, like the people that do the food dropping thing. That is a classic case of, like, being like, oh, I feel bad for this person. What happened? They dropped their food. But it's a scam. Yeah, yeah. You see that a couple times. You're like, oh, it could be anybody.

Anybody could be out here running some sort of scam. Yeah. And there's a homeless guy I've seen for years laying in the middle of the road and say he's going to kill himself unless people give him $20. Yeah. And I'm like, not to be a dick, but it's been fucking out of the year for four years. He still hasn't killed himself. I think he's doing better mentally than all of my friends.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. Or how about the, there's a new guy out there that goes up and gives daps to people first and then ask for money. So he'll just go up to a group of like dudes hanging out. And it'll look. like a normal dude that just wants to, not that normal, but he looks like normal enough at first glance. And he'll go up and he'll just like give high fives to everybody and people will be like,

oh, like you don't want to be rude to not give a high five. But then once you do that, then he'll just hang and then he'll be like, yeah, you got a dollar? Yeah, there's always the, and it's like, look, there's very few times of strangers talking to me and it's not them asking for money in New York. So it's like, it's like, they're on to something, dude. Yeah, I've got to have where the guy calls me racist. I'm like, he's like, hey man, uh, how are you doing today. And I'm like, dude, I mean, I don't have any money. You're racist and I'm like, okay. And then 10 minutes later, I seem to talk to somebody's like,

look, can I have some money? I know what you're going to ask. Dude, they do that. So they're very sweet and sour. They're like the sour patch kids. Yeah, yeah. They're very sweet. And then they're very sour. And it has nothing to do with ethnicity. I'm like, no, you're, you don't have laces in your shoes right now. It's like, I could tell you're homeless. I've been trying to do a joke about that, about the homeless

guy calling me racist and then be like, but that's such a small part of it. But it doesn't work on stage. I am. But not. Or being like, is this guy subscribed to my YouTube? How does this guy know all about me? Yeah.

But the thing is they shop I've been like, I'm super racist. Yeah, I'm like, sorry, dude. It is what it is. I can't help it. It's just how I was raised, you know? It's like, do you really think I'm like out there just giving only the white?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, I was going to give you a 20, but then I realize that's the thing. I'll give people food because like I have, you do give people money and then you see them like, look, I don't think there's anything wrong giving homeless people money. They'll spend it on drugs.

I'll spend it on drugs. I don't see like any issues. with it. I don't think you have a responsibility to do it. But you're also like, I don't know, it does feel bad when like I've given somebody money and then I see him like nodding off on heroin. Yeah. Like that one white dude with the face tats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's doing

well. No, he's not. And then everybody's like, somebody told me he's off heroin. I'm like, do I see him sleeping. Yeah. You think he's even if he's off heroin, it's like just encouraging that behavior. I don't like, I don't love it when I see people giving him money because I'm like, you're encouraging this chaos on the street. Once people know

like this is a hot street to get money from, They're going to keep coming back. So people think they're, like, helping, but it's like, you're actually exacerbating the problem. Like, you're making it way worse by continuing to give money to these people on this street. And especially when they're doing it in, like, an aggressive way and shouting, like, oh, you're racist for not giving me money. And then people feel guilty into doing it. It's like, yeah, yeah.

That's the thing. So it's a shitty situation. I'm like, no, it literally has nothing to do. Like. And there'll be cops there. Like, cops don't want to deal with it because it's like, what are we? going to do it. It's just such a weird thing that it's like

nobody can do anything about it. Nobody's helping. Nobody. These people don't want to be helped. Like, I feel like even if there was programs in place for them to be helped, I can't imagine. They'd be there every morning, be like, all right, I'm ready to get help with like a shirt and tie on. I do respect the guy who's like, I'll clean your shoes. I'll do this or that. I'm like, yeah, he's trying to.

There's guys that do caricatures. And I'm like, that's a real talent. Yeah. It's like, musicians. I'm like, yeah, I respect all that. Yeah. I'm like, also like, dude, it's like, I don't know what you're like. life is like I could be fucking homeless like I'm exactly disrespect for you but I'm also like I don't know how me giving you money right now is going to make anything better and some of them are just assholes you know it's like if you're an asshole I don't feel obligated to to help you out yeah yeah

it doesn't matter what your position in life is you're being a dick to me right one guy chased me through a 7-11 really because I like ignored him on the way into 7-11 and I just didn't say anything to him and he kept like hey hey hey because he had a clipboard in his hand he's like hey and I could tell it was a scam. Yeah. And he had a clipboard in his hand, like he was doing some fucking political survey or some bullshit. But it wasn't that.

So I just ignored him. And when he followed me in the 7-Eleven, followed me out of 7-Eleven. And then, like, tried to fight. It was threatening to fight me and, like, right outside. And I was just like, dude, I'm not going to fight you. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm like, I should have acknowledged you.

But at the end of the day, you are begging me for money and I don't want to give you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's no way into fighting a homeless man. You're not going to be like, yeah, I won. It's like, that guy's down. Right. Because some of them will be like, oh, I just want to talk. Like, you can't even say hi?

Like, I just want to talk. I was like, okay, what's your, what do you want to talk about? And then like, I need a dollar. It's like, yeah, exactly. I know what it is. And it's by appearance. Like, dude, you don't have laces in your shoes and you're bleeding out of like an orifice. And then like, it's like, it's like your shirt has five different holes in it.

Yeah. I know. I get the, yeah, you got to have better presentation. And then some of them are dressed well. Like that one guy with one eye has a new outfit every, every fucking day. I love him, dude. Oh, he's the worst. His force is kind of low and deep.

It's a high and deep at the same time. Dude, he's terrifying. Yeah, yeah. He's terrifying. That's the thing. These guys don't, they don't, like, ask for money.

They more, like, shake you down for money. So it's like, you're more threatening than, than people give him credit for. Give him dollar. Dala, but he doesn't say,

he only says, he goes, Kamadala, Camadda. Like, I've never heard him say anything other than Kamadala. Yeah.

He looks like Louis CK, you know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. I know. Louis C. But he just has, pounds of snot

Yeah Yeah Yeah Like I've never heard him saying Any though Like gotta a dollar Yeah He's combined

Can I have a dollar Into one word Like have a dollar He's like stuck in that You can tell his brain It's just like stuck Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah For food get money for food Get dollar get food Get repeat And it's just like Vicious

Some people's brains It's just like I don't know man It's weird If there is a god Like why would he Why would he make that

Yeah Why would he make that character? Because that person is fucked, but it's like there's nothing anybody can do for that person. I saw something incredible. Wait, wait. Let me, I'm gonna change topics and then come back to it. Somebody told me

um, give me a second. This is the funniest thing. I gotta run in a minute here. How soon? I got places to be. How soon? Um, how long does it take to get to the pair from here, baby? This is, this is behind the scenes.

Let's see. If I walk to the pair, it takes 30 minutes. Yeah, I probably I got to leave in like three minutes. Three? Oh shit. Okay. I didn't realize. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay. We'll wrap it up there. What do you want to promote? City of kin. Oh, you know of, wow, dude, you're the first person that knows my,

my podcast. Because I did it? I didn't even know. Did you? We got one fucking like on the clip. And it was me. You posed a real. This guy's audio is coming out of one year.

It's all fucked up. It's a work in progress. So you can say you were in on the ground floor. Yeah. And then when it blows up, you can be like, remember when I was on? I'll be like,

I don't know who you are. Do you want to promote your Instagram? Chris Kenback on Instagram. All right, sweet. Peace.