Morning Good - Jurassic Park Handjob - Episode 18

Episode Date: March 28, 2021

Big thanks to Adam and Clam Kennison for coming on the show and being hilarious. Make sure to check out some of their shows as NYC and the rest of the country starts opening back up for live comedy. You can find Jess on Instagram @jlev25, and Adam on Instagram as well @adamhmada_As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F Shack. I love dirty mic and the boys. Hey, are you dirty mic and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good, good. I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. That was right before I clicked record, damn. I almost caught that. So we're here with Adam Hamada. Hello. Doing all right? Yeah, I'm doing all right, man.

Can't complain. Thank you for having me. Perfect. And we got Clam Kinnison. Yes. Jess Levin here. Cam Kinnison. Correct in the flesh.

Not hung over for once. I'm winning. There you go. I have to avoid it so aggressively. Like I take these like noon vitamins. I take like four of them. Wait, are they called noon vitamins?

Or you just called them noon vitamins so you remember to take them? No, no, no. They're called like noon is like the name of like the company. Oh, I thought they're like time. That's a shit name, honestly. Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't make them. I don't know why you're looking to be like. Yeah, I got mad aggressive. You fagg. You fag. Just diet 40, like the rest of them. Ooh, you're healthy. It's just the hangover.

I'm not taking it to avoid COVID. Oh, is that what it is? Wait, that helps with hangovers? Yeah. So that's my thing is I have like the most violent hangovers ever. Like I just, I can almost like barely deal with them. Yeah. Oh my God.

Who can, you know, you're such a loser. Who can deal with a hangover? Like I got to tell you, if I drink tequila, I'm okay. Really? I think it's the filtration. It's like, if you drink clear Blanca tequila, the white, white power tequila, you're fine. But if you drink,

for me, if I drink anything with sugar, like if I drink whiskey, forget about it. I'm fucked. Yeah.

I'm completely fucked. Well, maybe that's what it is. I don't know. I got to drink something different. My thing is like, I can deal with the hangover, but it's like,

I don't like, it affects my stand-up the next night. Oh, yeah. So I'm like, I want to be like killing on stage, so I don't want to, like, I can deal with like a headache, but the problem is I have like low energy

and then it's kind of like that. No, totally. And then also people don't talk about like, it's a depressive. So the next day I get the guilt and the like depression kicking in and then it's usually I drunk eat. So it's like a noodle hanging out of my mouth

and I don't want to get on scale. And then I usually drink like smoke a pack of cigarette. Like you're not winning anything when you're getting that camera. Oh, the worst is where I should do coke because then you get drunk until like 4 a.m. Or wait later like we do coke to like 8 a.m. The sun comes up. Yeah.

And then you're like, ah, dude, if I do another bag, then it's like, you know, thank God is you get old. you start thinking of drug dealing like you like drug using like chess yeah you think if I do this this will happen yeah I'll feel worse later yeah my favorite my worst cocaine over and like well basically made me stop is I remember it was like 9 a.m and I was taking an Uber the next day and like I was thinking like the guy who dries for Uber probably does not am so he doesn't have to deal with drunk people and I hop in

his Uber with a whip it canister in my hand and I'm just gripping the back of his seat like yelling in his ear and it was one of those were like I didn't notice how crazy I looked until I saw my face and like the reflection of the thing and I'm like I'm going to be a stand-up comedian, man. Do you have any advice for me? This guy's like, this kid's fucking out of his mind. I don't know what he's talking about. It was at 9 in the morning, too.

Yeah. That's crazy. God, dude, that's fucking, that's, dude. He's like, that was last week. That was, uh, yeah. She was like, that was this morning, actually. My noon vibunders are amazing. It's like, oh my God, noon.

Shout out to noon. Yeah, yeah. This is just a sponsorship for noon vitamins right now. I would like, I'm not sure if they would like me, but I would, I'd have it. Yeah, fucking, man, yeah. And then you get a liquor sponsorship. and then you get like a little, you know, Colombian drug lord sponsorship for the cocaine.

It's a good idea. You know, support local Colombians. Yeah, really diversify the sponsors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great, man. But I was telling you earlier, so I used to drive for Uber, which is like the funest job.

But crazy as shit would happen. One time this guy, uh, he got kicked out of a bar and he's like, um, he got kicked out there for pulling my gun. And I'm like, all right, this guy is like, just blowing steam or whatever. Maybe he did, but like, it's not a big deal.

And then the guy starts talking about like this gang shit. And then I'm driving, like, I'm driving like through warehouses in like random ass Florida and then the guy's like I'm gonna put my buddy on the phone with you and he pulls a gun out he's like hey I forgot the guy's name he's like Yeah he's like hey tell a joke

If it's not funny I'm gonna shoot this guy And then the other guy the phone's like don't fuck with them Don't fuck with him. And then I told the joke he's like good And then I was like but half of me is like thinking he's kidding And then I saw him get out of the car I'm like adjusting his gun Yeah the guy was just fucking god

No but it's like totally fucking with you It's like yeah but it'd be funny no kidding Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, look at you that look. That's crazy. And I didn't know you did it in Florida. That's a totally different animal, bro. I'm sure.

Do you know what I mean? Like, we don't, like, if someone has a gun, it's not because of like their hunters or their fucking route or they just-old-gun. They're there to kill people. And so it's like, I just for right away, if I see a gun or I think, Adam, if you see a gun, you're like, I'm going to die or I'm getting robbed or. Luckily, I haven't seen one. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I want to show you how responsible we are in Florida. No, that's the thing Is everyone have a gun in Florida? Everybody has to know. See, that's fucking weird. I never experienced that until like I was in Detroit, Michigan and in Michigan or when I was in Texas.

You just got back from, you went to Texas. When I was in Texas, yeah, same thing. Did you notice that shit? Everyone has a fucking gun. We went to one house. It was like Leo's people and we go in, the lady, she has like two kids, right? One of them is like seven.

She owns 11 guns. Like AK-47s, like AR-15. Her seven-year-old daughter, she's like, yeah, I bought her a gun. Glock. Like, she's got to learn. Yeah, yeah. I was like, is that smart?

She was like, well, have you ever shot a gun? I was like, no. And they were like, she had. Shut the fuck up. She's like, more qualified than you. Yeah, that's a good point. Did you shoot one while you're there? No, we didn't get to, we didn't get to shoot.

Okay. See, I was working on a movie and we were in Nebraska and all them were about, you know, shooting guns. And I'm like, you know what? There's some things I should not learn how to do. And I don't think having a gun is one of them. I mean, I have visuals of like, you know, beating the shit out of people when I'm stuck in traffic.

Like, I don't think me having a gun is a good decision. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you know what I'm very short temper too? I, yeah, word, right? But I was holding and I was like, man, I get why people get these. I'm like, this shit makes you feel powerful. But it's like, I feel like this is another thing too. If I own a gun, I'm asking for bad shit to happen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you think that's like the law of attraction? You almost like, but it's like you almost invite it because you're like, I'm ready for it. Exactly. I'm ready for it. So I'm inviting some bad shit to happen. Especially in New York. You do have like a false sense of confidence because my friends have guns.

Like a lot of them are just like, oh, I just say whatever I want because they're not going to fuck with me. But I also heard it's like in places where people like everybody owns guns. Yeah, it's like they're less inclined to be like aggressive because they know everybody owns guns. It's like the nuke situations. Like there's mutually assured like destruction. See, I got to watch because I'm a mouthy. Like I just gave the finger and honked my horn until holly hell all the way here. Yeah, but you can't do it.

You know what I mean? So then you go to like I know from traveling a lot when I'm in other people's turf. I don't, of course. Yeah. But it's like still I have to remind myself. Like as I said, Michigan, dude, everyone in their fucking mother is packing. It's like, what? And then, like, when I was working in Chicago, you'd see signs where it's like the gun and the circle for you, like, you can't bring it in here.

Like, you know, like, prohibited. Yeah, I saw a couple of those. If you're living, exactly, it's like you're living in an area where it's like, okay, we have to have designated areas for your glocks. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. That's fucking wild. This shit, man, that's funny shit. Are you still looking this shit up? No one cares Mike.

No, it's a great video. Is it? Wait, you took the video of the guy holding the gun telling you to be funny? No, no, no. That would be the most. Let me record this. Yeah, exactly. You're just like, I'm going to call the police on you.

He's like, I'm going to shoot you in the fucking face. I think that's the only time when it's our right to steal somebody's joke. It's like, what is Chappelle's funniest joke? I don't say that. That's like, I'm not even going to. You know what? You know what? I'm not even.

Such a good call. I'm going to do that from now on. I'm going to, like, get an inventory of jokes to steal that are going to kill. in case I am. I get someone pulling a gun at me. I've heard a lot of people talking about cops will do that. We're like, you're a comedian,

you get pulled over and you have to like not bomb. Okay, well then, okay, perfect. Or not, you know, that would have helped for a lot of black citizens,

maybe. Hey, would it help if I tell you a joke? They're just, this is like the opposite of like responsible use. Are you guys doing lines on the Glock? I'm not doing it.

They are. Oh, God, damn. All right, so we're looking at a video. shit I've ever seen and they're doing lines on the gun.

And look at this white bread boy. Look at him. He looked like he just raped a co-ed at the back of it. Oh my God. Exactly. That wasn't cocaine either. That was actually meth. Yeah.

But I think I would genuinely be more scared. Yeah. I'll be more scared of driving for Uber and New York because I think there are crazier people here. But what I was telling her earlier is we have this thing where like this cab driver, this is his place to blast music and like stay up at night. So randomly he'll put. pull over right in front of our apartment and we'll just hear like the Titanic theme and then this

dude is just like in his car yeah he'll just play that song and then you just in his car like like like his eyes are blinking a little bit or he'll be like that song it's like pump up the jam just like very like just loud like cc music factory shit oh my god but he'll turn it like as loud as possible and then we'll like turn the light on and then he'll see us and freak out and drive away but he like does it like almost every way why this block is because i think it's like there's less traffic on this block oh really but it's like normally it's a quiet street besides just that one guy who comes by does that.

And he has a good cry. Yeah. Oh my God. It's this moment. Fucking pussy. I don't know. Yeah. That is a Titanic music.

Blast in Titanic music. I don't know why. You're going through it. That's so. Is this clockwork? What if that's it? What if he's not even trying to stay awake? He's just trying to like get some feelings out before the other riders.

Right. So on. So like this happens every night at three o'clock. The same block. Not every night. But I would say it's like three times a week. That's three in the morning. That's crazy.

Yeah. That's like, it's like almost. like it's like he probably takes clients or whatever to here because he has to be here by three o'clock and then he's like blast it yeah it's not three o'clock but it's like around the same time maybe it's like something like some love like his ex-lover

or something like he's just blasting that's possible too I didn't really think about that yeah because that's so odd to come yeah that's fucking 13th street oh that would be so annoying it's obviously not working dude if he's like the windows um I'm out

Oh, yeah. Just like the person right above us is like who he's trying to. No shit. That's this odd. Yeah, I wouldn't. I don't know. My cousin, my dad's cousin owned a medallion back in the day. Now, owning taxis back in the day was like a moneymaker.

Yeah, I assume. Yeah. Because it's like you rented it out and someone drove it. But he was a nut shop, dude. Some taxi drivers are nuts. Like he was one and he would, he did tons of blow. He used to hang out with Calvin Klein's like brother. And they would just like party and drive tax.

I mean, look at taxi driver. I mean, I'm just saying, they're just a different breed, especially the night crew guys. Oh, yeah. And peeps, I mean, I wouldn't, I think now would be okay, but I wouldn't want to have done it

in the 70s or the 80s. Get the fuck out of here, man. No, no way. Still, it's like great. Like, I assume New York's way crazier than Florida. But I had like, I don't know, Florida I think would take the cake, bro. You guys are weird.

I mean, we have a thing called Florida man for you people. Yeah, but even like in like the 70s, New York, 70, 70, 80s, like when shit was like, like, yeah. Bad, bad, crack. Bad. Florida's going to get so much crazier because the rowdyer people move from New York to Florida.

Down there. Yeah. I mean, seriously. I just think Florida is just crazier. I think the run of them that you'll get more. Yeah. One time this guy was freaking me out because he's being quiet and he was making like, noises and I was like, fuck.

And he started driving me out in the middle mood like the woods. In Uber? In Florida, I was driving. Oh, shit. Yeah. You got gators and shit. Yeah. But I just realized he was mentally challenged.

And I was just like, Oh, you're not a homicide murder. You're just autistic. Yeah. He's like, he's got Down syndrome. And now I'm like, I really can't get murdered by him because I'm looking insanely incompetent. I don't know. Some of them are strong. No, I'm sure.

Where did that come from? Retard strength. Like, it comes, like, I don't know, I guess a bunch of people had pet rabbits that died. I think they hug them too hard or something. Oh, like, do you mean Lenny feed the rabbits from that Steinbeck movie? Yeah. I base everything off. I love people like John Steinbeck.

People are like movies don't give people false stereotypes. Yeah, everything I base off of some. That's definitely, yeah, 100%. That's ridiculous, dude. But yeah, Florida, I don't know. I've lived in Florida for a little while. Where'd you live? So my parents got a place before, not in the rich part, but of Naples, Florida.

Oh, yeah, yeah, my grandparents lived there. Right. So it's like, people think Naples, it's like, oh, it's rich, but then they have the outskirts. Yeah, yeah. And when I first went out of college and I went down there to work, oh my God. The method, this is when the opioid addiction was just coming into effect. Like, it was just, you know, Purdue pharmaceuticals were like, yeah, get him. up, got it up. So I'm working

in that atmosphere. Especially because there's so many old people in Naples. Right. I'm sure that's where everybody's taking their grandma's pills. Right, and we're having an influx. And also, like, I didn't, like, Florida party seems weird. Like, they'd go into like the little, like, they have their cars with the black lights underneath it and then they hang out in the parking lots and they'll just like, they're more about racing drugs like cocaine, meth,

the farming drugs. I mean, they smoked, they dabbled with weed, but there weren't like potheads. They're like, no one fucking. They're like, I'll touch it sometimes. It slows me down too. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't calm me down. It's like they're cigarettes, you know? But they, this girl, like I was working with a bunch of crackheads.

Like the owner was a Cokehead and it was called The's Waterfront Grill. And it was just a bunch of crackheads that worked there. But one of the girls are supposed to cover me for St. Patty's Day. And she's from Boston. Yeah, there's no way she can be sober on St. Patrick. Bro, not only that. She's a fucking, she's a totally, like she was a co-a-what-de-call-a-what-de-a-ococon bitch. And I didn't even know what it would really,

was, but like I went and I chased her down to find it, but I was just knowing everyone was on oxies. It was just a weird, weird scene down there. Yeah, not a lot of has changed. It's, no, it was just crazy. Anything's gotten worse. Yeah. Yeah, that's just weird. I, yeah, I would do this first. Are you, I've seen some of the videos like the Miami Spring Break stuff, how they had set up in a curfew? Dude, that eight o'clock I heard. They had to set up at eight o'clock. Like, which is great. That's how you know, it's crazy. It's getting bad, yeah. No shit. I mean. But because it's like this, that had to be the wildest spring break because it's the only place that anybody can go for spring break.

Yeah, yeah. So everybody's like spring break. That is bananas. And the panhandle must be pretty bad. Wait, what part of Florida are you from? I'm from Orlando. Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah. That's funny. I got thrown out of Universal Studios for a year. Oh, what'd you do? I was with this. I have a couple friends that they picked out. Yeah, right. It's doing this dude.

No, I was struggling out on this dude. And whatever, it was my last night in Florida. I was moving back, forget where. And we were partying. I was parting with my dude. I was fucking. and his friend and he was starting to date this Venezuelan chick that anyway so she was like 17 or something

I'm 21 and I'm drinking first off I'm glad the way you said it sounded like it happened like a week ago we're like hanging out with 17 years ago so have you ever been to Orlando University Studios? No, I've been to Florida okay so Universal Studios

it's just a basically drug fest like the little boardwalk area they come around with jello shots they come around with kids like Orlando like it's like it's like it's kind of Like, yeah.

For real? Yeah. They got a margaritaville. It's a, it's very fun place. It's like corporate, though, drinking. And they're like, we're here to get you fucked up. Like, you are just going to get fucked up. Oh.

And they have these little flights of like testers, like these tube testers that just come around with this bitches on it. And they're just like, yeah, I drink these. They're like three bucks a pop or something stupid. So we're drinking them. We're getting hammered. I had my drink and she took a sip of it. And some guy, security loser saw it.

And he came up. And he was like, I saw her take a sip of your drink. You guys got a. go. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm like, first off, I didn't see it. And like, whatever, she thought maybe it was a soda and she just took a sip of it. And you're just throwing us in that. I'm like, what if, like, you know what if, like, you know what I'm saying? So if I get raped and I start doing this all like, you know, like, if anyone filmed me, I probably would have gone to world starting. Just like a white girl yelling at a fucking.

So he's like, whatever, you guys are getting, he's like, you know what? You have, you lose privileges for a year. And they had to take. I'm like, go ahead. You fuck. Disney's better anyway. And he started like taking pictures of me. And they put like, supposedly they had me a flyer and all that stuff. And then they take you out. They don't even like, they don't even get you near your car. They're just like, I don't care. Get out.

So we had to find her car. My boy that I was screw around with had to go find it. Sneak around to go grab it. It was crazy. But they're a complete dicks. Oh, yeah. But you know, there's tons of underage drinking going on everywhere. It's like, who are they picking and choosing to fuck you get up with?

Oh, because you took a sip from a drink. That's crazy. We would go nuts. Yeah. We would do this thing. They had this thing called Halloween Horn Nights, which they turn the whole park into like a haunted house. Right. And we would fill our waistbands with those little like shooter shots.

Right. Any bottles? Yeah. And I remember the first thing we were doing is my buddy, we're blackout drunk. And my buddy, back when we're like middle schools, we're like, or I think we're like ninth grades. We're like, we're smoking black and miles, drinking like whiskey out like water bottles. And my buddy goes, he goes, you know, I know a place we can like go drink.

It'll be very quiet. And we're already hammered. So we're like, okay, we'll go over here. And we're like smoking like blackout. We're kind of dancing. We're clearly drinking like whiskey out of water bottles. And then we notice we turn around and we start seeing people. We realize we're like right in front of like an amphitheater.

And there's just like family staring at us. getting fucked up. And one of my buddies got kicked out. And it was like a weird thing where his, uh, his brother pretended to be his dad on the phone when the cops told him. But then a couple months later, his family wanted to go there. And so we had to like figure out how to get in because he was banned for like a year. But they don't actually, they didn't like it because they banned so many people. Yeah, I bet. I bet there's no like organization of that. Because that was just gnarly. I was just like, it was just so odd. Yeah. Because everyone was getting fucked around us. So it's like, why are you coming after us, man? Yeah. Yeah. So it was

really weird. Whatever. I went back and fucked by dude and that was the end of it. So it's it worked out. And you were leaving that night anyway. So it doesn't matter. Exactly. Yeah, that's a good place to get kicked out of because you don't go that often. So it's like, it's like, oh, I'm banned for a year. Okay, I'll come back next year. Exactly. So I went out with a bang, you know? Yeah, yeah. That's the way to roll, dude. I got a hand job there one time, which is fun. Because like when you were, when you were like, like in the Jurassic Park area. Oh, did you really? That's in the Jurassic Park area. Oh, did you really? That's in the background, it's like,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun, so when you, like, watch Jurassic Park

over here the music, is it like, does it like, does it like, Stephen Spielberg just does it for me. Yeah. Exactly.

That's amazing. Because, like, growing up in Orlando in, like, middle school and stuff, like, that was the only place you could be away

from your parents for, like, super long periods of time. So, like, you'd be like, all right, we'll go, because if you're,

if you're a Florida resident, you used to be able to get, like, these yearly passes. So you'd pay like 90 bucks, but you could go whenever. That's really, that's so badass, though, dude. You'd abuse, not abuse it, but you'd use it and you go. I would take advantage of that shit all the time.

So you just go all the time. How about Disney? How about Disney? $90? Yeah, or like, it's a seasonal pass. So it's like from whenever you get it until the end of the year. But if you buy it like January 1st, then you have it for the whole year. That is crazy.

So wait a minute. How about Disney? Did Disney do that shit? They're like, no, fuck you. We want. Yeah. They have something, but they're not as, they're not as fun. Like, they're great if you're younger, but, like, Disney, if you're like an adult, you know what I mean?

It's not it is. No, it's not. Besides, I heard Epcot is fun. I was going to say, what I would do. What is I adult? Epcot's like the, like, that's like their version of like the United Nations. It's like, you have Germany and, um, Japan and like all these countries there. And they do like, you know, the stereotypical, uh, you know, shit.

Cultural appropriation shit. So I have like a German dude that looks German there and he's like making watches. I always thought it was like a rave or some shit. Because I remember you mentioned in your set last night I was like, what is Epcot? Oh, because that's why I say save your money and go to Epcot because she goes to Italy to eat some food.

It's the same thing there, but you have it like a Japan world, a China world, Germany. I think you say culture of appropriation. There's just like a bunch of dudes in blackface in one section. Basically, it's like, this is Africa. That's right.

Didn't change the hair. It's like, and then it's like, you know, and it's all, it's horrible. It's basically, it's not horrible. It's just that if you go as an adult, I'd probably, we, when, I was in high school we went and it was fun because we got stoned and we just ate a

shit ton of food but they're expensive. They're mad pricing. Yeah, yeah. You know? But as an adult if you have money, it'd just be fun to go to get drunk. But like I would have think that it would get old really quickly. Yeah, yeah, right? It'd be fun for five seconds and you're drunk and you're taking a picture with Mickey. You're like, I can't at least.

And then you look around and parents are like Yeah, people would say. You know what you mean? And little kids like, I wanted to talk to Mickey. And then you're like, you know, you're drunk ass. Blacked out fucking making people. on Mickey. Like, you know what I mean? Groping them and shit.

I'm clapped him in the ass. Come get some kids. I know. Exactly. It gets out of hand. When's the next Mandalorian coming out, Thug?

Yeah. I have friends who take mushrooms and go. Oh, that must be gnarly. Yeah. One of them I remember he was telling me

that he had like a crush on one of the girls working there and his buddy's like, what the penguins do is they find the most pretty rock and they give it to the girl they love. And I guess they were just, tripping balls so he just comes up to the girl

and just leaves a rock and then she's staring at him she's like what is this and he's just like it's for you and then he just like walked away you me the sentiment is kind of sweet though you know yeah she's probably what the fuck is wrong with this guy

yeah taking shrooms must be interesting but I can't this is the thing I have a hard time with shrooms because it fucks my stomach up yeah you get really nauseous I get really not only nauseous it it it makes me have to take a shit for real yeah I'm never taking them Oh, I don't know.

Never then. I think I have the shit. I like acid. Acid was fucking nuts. Isn't it nuts, dude? And I like it because it's clean. You know what I mean? It's cleaner because like mushrooms, it's just like fuck you up.

You're just like, ooh. It's very wonky feeling and like, it feels very like, I don't know, everybody says it feels natural. I don't think it feels natural. Not at all. But the way people talk about it, they're like, it changed my life, you know. Acid changed my life. Really? I did that shit and I tripped for 48 hours on Roosevelt Island.

48 hours. How much did you take? I took a shit ton. My buddy, so when I lived on Roosevelt Island, we were, that's our dorms that were from Merrimount. They put us there. You could pick to live there. And we had like our own apartments.

I'm on the 18th floor. It's the best apartment I've ever had in my life, 18 years old. So my buddies lived on a floor below me, and I get a knock on the door. And they're like, get this out of my fucking house. And it was a gigantic sweet breath of liquid acid. He's like, keep it in your freezer. I've heard the liquid stuff is just like nuts. You can't really regulate how many micrograms you're taking.

Kind of. So that's what happened. So there's an Indian restaurant. still standing baby down on the east side it's got, I think it's Pana 1, Pan of 2 Oh yeah those places are fucking a blast They're a blast. So my friends, I took them there, we decided to eat Indian food there first

And then we put it on The Pita Bread. So they're like newbies. They're never done it before. They're starting, we went to Small's Jazz I like you guys could have put him on ice cubes But you're like, we got to go to the specific Indian restaurant I don't know, we were weird So we went there, we did that

And then we were in small jazz And they started saying they started feeling it And I got impatient. So I went into the bathroom And I took the sweet breath and I squirted it into my mouth. Oh my God. It's going to be so. So I don't know how much I took. Yeah.

But yeah, I got fucked for 48 hours. We was like, we have to go back home. So we went back to Roosevelt Island and I just basically tripped face for 48 hours in my apartment. You said it changed your life though. Like how? Well, that was one of those. I guess the one I'm being dramatic. The one prior to that really did because we were in the woods and that was so much more.

Because you're in the woods. And it was during October. and it was in Pennsylvania, so it's like there was waterfalls, so it's like when you're, the oneness of that shit,

the 48 hours ones changed my life because you got to understand it's like being scuba diving underwater for 48 hours. Yeah, that's nice. So you're just seeing,

like, and I was a fish head at the time too and like deadhead. So I had all these posters. And I literally, the fish riffed album, which have you seen

the Rift album, it's a cover and it has all the songs of the, on the album, on the poster that I had. and has mazes and shit like that. And I stared at that fucking thing for an hour.

Like the fish emblem, I could see the fish swimming. It was crazy. And it was just a longevity. And the other thing that sucked about it was like, it's like you ever seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like anything, our apartment ended up looking like that.

Oh, sure is wrecked. Because the sun was, I started tripping at night and I didn't want night to stop. Yeah. So I like took all the curtains down. I mean, you know, I took like sheets and the shit. shit and I posted them up on my like wall because I didn't want to like get any sunlight

to come in and then parents calling you that's fucking rough you're like taking turns telling them. Oh my god that would be awful. No no that would be awful but then people got word that we're all tripping so I had visitors come by and they'd be like you guys doing good Who the fuck snitched on you? What the fuck? That's crazy. Yeah it was crazy man it was great and then we had to take turns

to go to the store, Gristidis, grannestis to go get cigarettes so we also had picked straws and shit like that We got, and also, yeah, it's like, who's going to get cigarettes? You think when you're tripping, like, oh, my God, it's such a serious conversation, dude. Because also on Roosevelt Island, there's a lot of, like, ex-vets. So there's, like, it's like the land of misfit toys. Yeah. You'll have guys on gurneys with no legs.

This guy on a gurney with no legs would steal from the bread truck that come every morning almost. Like, he'd be there all the time to steal the bread. And I'm like, doesn't this bread guy know this is going to happen every fucking time? That's got to be so funny, though, when you're yelling at the veteran with no legs and you're like, I might not be the good thing. Yeah, I know, exactly. Just fucking take the bread. Just fucking bread, dude.

Seriously, man. Especially that reminds me, what's that like a lay miss or something? Like a loaf of bread is so like... Oh, it's like part of like, yeah, I hear it you're saying. You know what I mean? It's like such a minimal, like, it's not like they're stealing like meat. It's like, I just need bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. Like a peasant. It's like, am I really gonna not? You know? Yeah, yeah. Like, seriously, Pepperidge Farm's gonna, one Pepperidge Farm is gonna really ruin your fucking order. Really, dude? No, yeah.

So, yeah, I was, I mean, that was it. But it was a long trip. Yeah. How was yours? It wasn't, like, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't, like, great either. Where were you? That's the thing. I was in, like, a frat house in Queens.

Yeah, why would that be funny? Why would that be? Why would I have a frat house and fucking queens? It was, like, one of my good friends and the rest of the people I just didn't know. I was, like, smoked, you know? So I was just like, I was, it was just too much. It was too intense. Right.

Yeah, you can't. Yeah, yeah, it was just too crazy. That's not like taking ecstasy or something. You know what I mean? Excy, you know, doing that kind of shit. Yeah, you're social. You're like on acid. You need to be.

You're reflected. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember I was outside just staring at the sky for like 45 minutes. Right, that would do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My neck was like sore for three days. I was like, literally like this, like for 30, like 45 minutes. Oh, but you got to imagine.

See, that's another thing you're in the city so you're not getting to see the stars. You got to do it again and you got to do it like either in the woods or like, or like, I want to go and do the desert. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. I had a chance to do it in like on a beach in Puerto Rico and I was like nah. Just because like I had done it like so like You're like I don't want to be tripping around Puerto Ricans

Back to like yeah Don't trust of me. Fucking sneaky. Nah but I just done it so so like recently I just remember how intense it was I was like I don't I don't even know if I want to. I kind of regret it because it was like we We like snuck into a hotel

We were in an infinity pool Because I've had so many bad trips Sometimes you're taking it you're like Why did I have to do this and you're just like Freaking out in the bathroom People I was with because I was like I'll just like what I watch you guys or whatever But then after they came down

They were like that. was amazing. That was the best acid I've ever had in my life. I was like, fuck me. Are you kidding me? It's always funny too when people are tripping around you and you don't take it. And then you're like, you go to the store, you do whatever. And in their mind, they're like, this was the most amazing day in my life. And you're like, we did literally nothing. We literally just went and got ice cream. And also, Adam, it matters like how you go into it. So if you were like, you know, like worried about going into it, not feeling it and that commitment, it could have fucked you up. That's the thing. That's why it's like, it gets a little weird. Like,

I have friends my age now because I'm old. They won't touch. the shit because they're like, dude, I've seen death, I've seen shit. It's like, you don't want to resurface that kind of shit. Yeah, that's, I'm kind of like that too. Right. I'm just like a very, like, I like, I'm like more closed off, so it's like, I hate, like, and that forces you kind of like to

confront shit like that. I don't even want to. That's why it's like that peyote shit. I know people that did on that shit. What is peyote? It's like, it's called mescaline. It's like a, it's a cactus. Yeah. Yeah. The Lysclones, like, the chemical, like the THC of peyote and peyotees like the cannabis, I guess. So, um, my voice is sounded deeper.

I had a bubble, so it sounded Native American. I'm like, the pey plant is loose. No. It's this, uh, it's like, it's a skin red, bro. Yeah. It is a cactus. Um, no, so it's like, it's a cactus and you take it. And apparently you get really sick when you first take it, like the same way I-OASca works.

And then, but then you trip balls for, I was talking to somebody, they said it's weird, but cool. Right. Well, I was going to say the Iowa, I don't people that did the ayahuasca shit. and I'm like intrigued, but I'm really scared because it's like they, I mean, first of all of all of them, I don't know how far it is, but it's like, you know, all of some, the white people know about it. So they're all going to Peru and they're fighting a shaman.

It's like, how legit is this shit? But like, they go into like... I don't want some native guys screaming at me while tripping. It doesn't sound like, it's like, you're dead rape, you're dead, right, too. You're just putting things in your brain. You just try to shave your head. I know, I'm good on that.

What if I'm like, none of that happened, though, like, exactly. Exactly. Tell people you found. Tell people you found out your... Say it changed your life. You gotta come out as gay when you go back to America. You gotta want to cut your dick off.

I don't know. You do some shit, man. But I, uh, what was I saying? I have a lot of friends to smoke DMT and I say it's nuts. But the thing you were talking about shit. I want to try that. Yeah, yeah. Really?

Yeah. I know it's like crazy, but it's just like the, it's... I don't know. It's like, that's like the airplane fluid shit? No. No, no, no, no. It's like, DMT is in ayahuasca. Iosca is like the longer form of it.

But DMT is like the smokable. Like it's like crystals and you smoke it. And what's that happening? It's like like, 15 minutes. It's like a very short high, but it's like super intense. Where it's just like,

you're not even in like this plane of existence. Yeah, you're getting abducted by like NBs and stuff. I might have done. Is it like brown crystals? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was at a fish show and some guy gave me shit. And I, dude, it was like, I got like, I don't even know how to describe it.

Like there was such an ecstasy. Like my brain was getting pulled up. and I got such a high and then all of a sudden I pissed myself in the middle of the show. Yeah, and that may have been it. That may have been it. I heard it's like when you're dying,

so you're just smoking random rocks people are giving it. Because I was a crackhead. Yeah. You know what it was like I got like when you're like really like I gotta say you young bucks. You just got crack. Well, no. You guys know you guys are just smarter

and some of you guys are very like not all of you but like I don't know like I don't know like it's just different. Like I noticed it the other day, like this more last night at the show. There was this like 24 year old girl. They don't drink as much anymore, man. Yeah. So a little, just a little goes a long way for him.

So like, I don't know. I mean, you know. How old are you, Adam? 21. 21. Right. So are people your age still getting fucked up completely and doing crazy shit like this? I definitely saw it.

Like, look, like for me, like back in high school, like I was like, people would drink and like they do like to smoke weed. But it's like I would never hear about people like doing COVID. cocaine or anything like crazy shit. My experience was way different. How old are you? I'm 24 but we started doing like we're, I did shrimp as I was 14. Yeah. Florida. Yeah, it's a different.

I went to like a broke ass public school. It's like we couldn't afford it. But if we could, we would have, you know. Yeah. Well, that's the thing too. I think that like I also, I will admit I do go other places and I talk to people and they're like, oh yeah, we weren't doing that shit. Right.

Sounds like, all right. That makes sense. Yeah. It just, I don't know. I shouldn't be so blanket, but I just know. But I will say I did like I was around private school kids like a little and they were more. Dude, like, they were, like, they were, like, they would tell me they're like, yeah,

I know kids, like, already in rehab. And I know that's not, like, super out of the norm. Yeah. But it's like, for me, it was just shocking because it's like, I'd never known anybody. Like, I never even, like, seen most of that shit. Right, right, right. And they were like, yeah, they were like, I know, like, three kids who are in rehab right now. Like, they, like, they do, like, drugs I didn't even heard of.

They were talking about ketamine. I didn't even know what the fuck it was. Oh, no way. Yeah. When you have money, it's like, you're going to do that shit. Yeah. But that's a funny thing about rehab. I remember we'd always have friends, our high school friends would go to rehab.

And then they come back out, we'd be like, we got to not drink around them and do stuff. And then they come back out, they'd be like, dude, no, I was in rehab for heroin. I can drink. And then you get all fucked up with them. But then always it would be another thing. Then they go to alcohol for drinking. And they'd be like, dude, I can still do blow, bro. I wasn't in rehab for blow.

You'd be like, okay, you're doing lines with them for a little bit. And then you're like, it was at some point. Exactly. Am I enabling? I don't know. Yeah, no, I know. It's just weird. I don't know.

I did a lot of shit. I kind of was like, I want to put myself through the ringer. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why. I went through this phase where I'm like, I just, and I'm going to travel and I'm going to jump in my car. I'm going to pack it up and I'm just going to go. Yeah, yeah. And I lived like that for a good 10 years.

That's amazing. It's good. It's just that you need to have like, you know. But that's why I get annoyed like when I have like, so I'm 40, right? So it's like I get a lot of young girls that are like come up to me and they're like, man, like, you're so strong. Like, how do you get to wait? I'm like, bro, by like living in trauma. and crying and making bad decisions.

Yeah. And it's not like there's no fucking manual, dude. It's like you just do it. And that's why I just like, if you're gonna like, I've been a person who's just like, I've always traveled by myself. I've always just packed a car. I went to a foreign city I didn't know

and I just fucking made it work. So it's like I just don't like, I don't have empathy for people that are like, I just don't know how to get. It's like, don't figure it out, dude. Go leave it. Go shake some shit up. Go figure it out, man.

You know? And so it's not always the best decisions I made, but I always knew, because my dad ingrained in me to be like, just be fucking smart and know what's around you at all times to like just go. But you got to make like mistakes to learn. You're going to get kidnapped sometimes. Is a lady traveling?

You're going to get kidnapped. Yeah. And you know, you'll be in a basement for 10 years. But when you get out. You'll get McDonald's. You'll have McDonald's and it'll be okay. You'll get a happy meal. You know what I mean?

You'll get a toy. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, you don't want to live your life like straight edge. It's like never trying anything. That was the weird thing. I went out to, my brother's wedding, was in Georgia, and we went out to the bars there, and it was so funny because we saw some of these kids

just like texting and jewelling. And I was like, you guys should be going nuts right now. Texting and I almost want to look in the face and I want to be like, do coke. No, no. They were college kids. Because we went to the college bars. Oh, okay.

College kids are pussies now, man. I think it's a hundred a hard, man. I don't know. You don't even have to be, you don't even have to be doing drugs. Just be going hard in some way. It was some way. Have a vice. Fight somebody.

Have a vice. think, especially, I don't even care. I still as an adult, I always will have a vice. You need to have a vice. But I will hear with you, I did notice this when I live down south, though. So for my family, when you go out to eat, we're drinking. I'm drinking in front of my parents. They bought me wine, like, all this shit.

I noticed southern families when I would, like, wait tables back in the day, when the families would go out and the kids are even in college, they'd be like, I'll have a sweet tay. I'm like, you don't want a beer, bro? Yeah. Like, no, I don't drink. It's like, they don't drink. It's like theater.

It's like they don't drink in front of their parents. And they're all like, yes, ma'am. Yeah, my house is like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. But that's better, honestly, because it's like when you can monitor, like, how your kid is drinking, it's like they're going to be more responsible with it because they're just going to know. The best where the kids, I would know, they'd be like hammered. They're like, I got to drive home because if my car's here, my parents think something's up.

And I'm like, you're crazy. So you're going to kill a five-year-old on the way home. Good job, buddy. Like, we'll bury it. We'll bury the kid. Yeah, it'll be fine, man. It'll be great, dude. Yeah, always the strict parents.

It's like they make the most fucked up kids. It's like, it's without a doubt. No, totally. Well, you grew up, what, in a very Muslim household?

It wasn't like, my mom was like, that's the thing. We were, like, it was devout, but like she was a very open-minded person. She was like,

like, she was a physician. So she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She wasn't a super person. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She wasn't like stupid. But it's like, I grew up around a lot of people who like were very, like, conservative. It's like, I know like a girl right now

my age, like 21, 22, and she can't even, like, go out. Her parents still, like, beat her and shit. It's, like, crazy. That's not, dude. She's, like, five, six o'clock. Whoa. But, dude, she rebels like crazy.

Like, because we went, like, we're in the same college together. And I remember the first day I was there because I transferred in. It was, like, 10 in the morning. And it's her and a bunch of, like, of her friends. They're all, like, kind of, like, you know, in the same boat where their parents are very strict. It's like, 10 in the morning. And they're just, like, drinking and, like, getting fucked up. They're, like, blacking out at, like, before noon.

Wow. And it's like the first day of school. And I was just like, I was like, that's what fucking happens. I'm like, you try to like shelter your kids. Like one of the, one of the, like, the girl's parents is like, I want to send her back to Yemen to get married. She's like, I don't know if she should finish college. It's like fucking crazy shit like that.

Are things like not going well in Yemen? Nah. It's like, it's like, I don't watch the news, but it doesn't sound. Yeah, I don't know why. That's crazy, dude. And it's like, why are you like, it's like, bro, now you're making the stereotype still stay alive, bro. Exactly.

Like, why now I got to fucking work doubles hard. That's hard. I feel every time a high school gets shot up. I'm like, just be better for all of this. I know exactly the white boy here. It's like, dude, really another shooting? Like, I got to do that. I got to fucking compete with this now again, you know?

Yeah, it's a lot. Same with me with Karen. It's like, oh, great. Another fucking white Karen. I got a fucking deal. Yeah, but I don't like, when I think of you, I don't think like, oh, she's like a caring. She has the potential to be a character.

I'm like, if she's getting mad at a manager, it's going to end in like a fight. Like somebody's going to punch in the face. Like somebody. But me while, yeah, definitely will shoot up a fucking, you know, I can't say anything I'll tell you. I will, man.

Well, I knew this was also going to happen because I was talking to somebody. There's going to be no mass shootings because everybody's locked down. I'm like, dude, we're going to have such an overflow. Yeah, man. Well, listen, Biden's in office. Things are going back to normal. We're bombing foreign countries. Yeah, yeah.

We're having mass shootings. I mean, this is fine. I hate to make this a political podcast because I don't really give a shit. But the 120 years thing was funny where he's like, filibuster was, came in when I was in office or when I was in the office or when was in the Senate 120 years ago like that. Wait, did he really say that?

Yeah, I didn't know. I haven't, dude, I'm not even, I tell you what, I am so, I'm not even paying attention anymore. Like, I do know the, it's hard to watch. But I'll look at it from a funny thing. Like, it's so hard to watch. Like, seriously, the whole like, again, the debate of gun control came out and I'm seeing all these same schmucks that are like, oh, 900, 10, with all these stats and being like,

get out of here. It's like, shut up. And then also like, your selfies with your COVID vaccinations, go fuck yourself. I'm so over you, dude. Like, really? Oh, good for you, Darrell. You punched out of, like, an 80-year-old black woman

to get your fucking COVID vaccine. It's such a fact. It's like, all these, like, people my age are, like, getting their vaccines. I'm like, what do you need it for? Exactly. Well, they're the super spreaders, though. They're like, we're going to four origins tonight.

We got to make sure. Exactly. I'm sharing the same straw with somebody else. I live in a room with my grandma. It's like, you know, it's just so crazy to me. I'm just, I'm just so, I'm just over. And this is the thing. I feel like this pandemic didn't teach anybody

anything. No, everyone's back to the same normal. And in fact, they've, like, actually gotten worse. It's definitely gotten worse. Because it's like, I think they've lived in their social, like, I sound like an old crudgeon. But it's like that social media shit with the filter, it's getting so bad now that people don't like. There's no face. Dude, I was talking to one kid.

He was like, I haven't left my house in three months. I was like, what the fuck? I was quarantining for COVID. And I was like, I'll kill an old person. Yeah. I'll go out. Exactly. The lack of human connection is just going to fuck us, man.

Yeah, absolutely. It's, it's bananas, dude. Dude, if I didn't have comedy right now, like, doing just, Oh my God, I'm gonna be fucked. I'd be fucked. I'd be fucked.

I don't know either. But it's funny because it's always, I'd probably be doing a lot of drugs. Yeah. A lot of drugs. 100%. There's nothing else to do. There's nothing else to do.

Totally. And the last thing, too, it's always the anti-social people that are like, it's so easy to stay home. It's like, yeah, because you don't have any fucking friends. That's why.

And I'm telling you, what happened was scientists or nerds, and they invented COVID so that all the parties You know what it is? Exactly. They go, if nobody... If I can't go to parties, nobody can.

Y'all are not being pussy out there. Zuckerberg wanted everyone to be on their Facebook. So Zuckerberg paid some nerds to create COVID. Hey, nerd shit, you can do it. They're like reading and playing video games at home. Those are the real heroes. Yeah, that's what it is. But getting pussy is the most dangerous thing now, having sex as strangers.

Coincidence? Pussy is a fucking... Have you seen... I've seen some porn with masks in it, which is so funny. Have you? Like I saw this girl getting, like, fucked. And like, she's got like a mask. He's got a mask on.

But he's doing her like from behind them, right? Yeah, yeah. I know, right? Because there's no AIDS or fucking sexual diseases. I will, COVID will kill you. It has gone down. I heard somebody make an age joke the other day. I was like, oh, that still is the thing, I guess.

Yeah, no, I know. Listen, I'm really amazed. I was talking to my friend the other day. She's married. And I was like, you know, I'm like, you know, a lot of dudes don't work on them these days. She goes, they don't. I was like, no. Not wearing condom is like average, right?

Yeah, yeah. Isn't that for you guys now? I mean, like, look, I'll wrap her if I don't know the girl. Right. If I was in a relationship, yeah, we'll give us a fuck. Or it's like if I've known her for a while. I know dudes that are like they will fuck around and they don't wear a condom. Yeah.

Weird to me. Yeah, that's crazy to me. If you have a girlfriend, of course. I think it's a lot of you know. I think I was too focused. I don't know. I think I was too. I thought too much of myself when I was single.

I'm like, I'm going to be something. I can't be getting girls pregnant. Yeah, yeah. So that's why I just wouldn't wear. Well, that's me too. I didn't care about STDs when I was single, though, because I was like, eh, hmm. You get a, you get a cream. Yeah.

I'll get an antibiotic. Also, it's like, anybody has herpes at 15, you know? It's like, I'm not fucking my grandmother. That's some old people shit. Well, like, 80% of, like, adults have HPV. So it's just like. Oh, you're just going to get it. You accept it.

I don't know. Like, when I was young, I'd still a day. I, you know, drugs and alcohol was my thing. So it's like, I never wanted to fuck it. anyone because it's like I had a fear of getting pregnant. I didn't want to, even though I would have had this smush-mortion, I still having to go through with it has to suck, right?

Yeah. It's not a fun day. Yeah. So, and I never... I would be the guy flipping a coin over my decision. I can't make decisions. So I feel like if there was... You can't make decisions? You can't make decisions? Are you serious? I thought the funniest video. I may have said this on podcast. I think it'd be so funny to go in front of a plan parent or something. And then just be like, heads or tails. And then just have

some girl dressed up as like a pregnant girl. Be like, yes. Thank you. Just like high five the guy Just walk in That's amazing No I just never I was always afraid of that I just didn't want to get pregnant

That was my thing I don't want to get pregnant I don't want to get pregnant I mean I can't imagine like nobody Nobody wants to get an abortion Nobody gets like Yeah Yes yes

Fuck yes Another one man It's like it's like that abortion shit It's like Yeah I don't get it I'm not gonna be like protesting Like pro choice and anything But it's like it's just such an obvious thing

It's like what? Yeah Why wouldn't that be you know Why wouldn't you have that right You know? Yeah Of course And it's also like, well, I get, I don't know, I, I think, I get when people are mad about, like, the eight or nine month.

Like, because there are those late-term ones. Yeah. But that's mostly because it's like some, some women can have, like, complications later in their pregnancy. Right. They might die. Yeah. So it's just like, they have to get the abortion. But I think it is a weird line, though, because I think there are some people that are like, it's so funny.

Because I think there are some very liberal people that would get mad at me for saying retarded. But if their kid was retarded, they would abort it. So I'm like, all right. Exactly. But I think that's fair. It's like, if you, if your kid is like, you know, it's. I just don't think it's anyone's business. No, I know.

It's like, it's not a business. But then to be like, you say retarded, that's wrong. I think you'd rather be called retarded than be dead. I'm starting to say it on stage last night. I'm starting to use it more and more because I have a sister who's, you know, special and special needs. Yeah, I said the end word. No, I said retarded.

And the funny thing is about the word, it's like, I think Louis C.K.'s latest special talked about it. He goes, you don't see them anymore on TV and stuff. And he's right. My whole thing is that it's you that have the problem. because you don't know any. Exactly. You know what I mean?

It's just like white people that are like, I stand out for black people. It's like you don't know any black people. Yeah. Or you don't know any Muslim people. You don't know like, you know what I mean? So it's like you have no clue.

So it's so patronizing. To be like, to be like, stop doing this. It's like, go fuck yourself. Yeah, yeah. You're the one with the problem because it makes you uncomfortable because you don't,

I've never dealt with that before. Yeah, yeah. Sensitivity over words now is. It's so insane. And it's because, and I think it's more of a projection on the person who's getting offended about shit. Don't like, like, it feels good to put other people down and don't pretend.

Like, people are like, oh, no, I never want to put people down. It's like, no, it feels good to call somebody out and be like, you're wrong and I'm right. You said the wrong thing. Right. No, totally. That is completely it too. And the righteousness factor. Yeah, yeah.

Of all this shit. And that's what I know about, like, I don't know. I mean to get inside baseball on your podcast. Yeah, that's what I know is about comics. It's like, are you a comedian or are you going to be a self-righteous activist? And it's like they're all on social media. You're not even doing, so you're not doing anything right. You're not being a good.

activist and you're not being a good comedian. It's like, pick what you want and go for it, well. I'm not going to hate either way, but I want to be a comic. Yeah, you want to be a comic. Focus on the funny. And it's both sides of it because some people are like, what do you guys? To PC? And then like, you haven't told a joke.

Yeah, exactly. And that side of it too. It's like, dude, like you guys. Just be funny, man. If it's funny, it's funny, you know. I will say it's like all those like self-righteous comics are all on the internet. It's like they know, I've never seen them in my life. I don't see them trying to.

I don't even bother. It's like I hear the, I hear that. them talk that shit. I'm like, all the problems that I've had with people getting angry at my jokes,

like 99% of the time, it's other comics who are like, I can't believe. Well, not only that, it's other comics that you're like, well,

I don't find you funny. Yeah, so I don't care how you feel like. One comic, she was like, she got so offended on one of my jokes.

She's like, you talk a lot about other people in your set. She's like, you should only talk about yourself. She's like, that's how you should do comedy.

She's like, you're a fucking idiot. She's like, look how funny you are. Like she's like she gets like booked like nightly. I was like, what the fuck? Wait, hold on. I don't even know.

Do you talk about other people though? You talk about your life a lot. No, you talk about your cousin. You talk about like. Not like other people, but it's like just talk about other things. That's comedy.

It's like you can't just only talk about yourself. You're figuring it out too. We're all figuring it out. Yeah. I don't think like anyone like no one at all. But she just got offended at my joke. She was like that's like very offensive or some shit. What was it about?

What was the joke? So this is the joke. I was like, uh, it was actually pretty progressive. And it was like, it's not a good joke. I was just working it out. Right. Was it a mic? Was it at a mic?

See, that's some more bullshit. It was at a fucking mic. It wasn't even a show. Go ahead. Let me hear it. But it was the joke was like, uh, I was like, people were talking about like the vaccine. It's like, it's like, it's like the reasons for it. It's like, it doesn't even make sense.

They're like, I'm not sure if I trust these Jew doctors or some shit. Just because I said Jew doctor, she got mad. It was just because I said Jew doctor. And she was just like, she was just like, what the fuck? I'm like, I'm like, shit in my other jokes about Jews. Wait,

does she not know you though? No. She doesn't know me. When you're doing mics, it's like, you're still figuring shit out, right? So it's like,

you know, sometimes you're going to throw some shit out and you're going to save some shit. It's supposed to be a safe fucking place for you to do so things, right? So I know you. Yeah.

I mean, not like we're like, you know, like, you're like, you're not a, what the fuck's the word because I'm fucking brain. Like anti-Semi-Semi-I. Yeah.

That's why I got upset. So it's like, Like, I know who you are. So it's like, if you're just doing some shit to throw some shit out, like, I say Cunt and Gash now lately on stage a lot. I'm waiting for that. Fuck it. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just, it just, and also just, like, you're, like, I just don't understand why comic would say, I'm offended. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? For me, I'm like, why, you're not, why are you involved? Exactly. Exactly. Because I get it when, look, when regular audience members get offended at something, I'm

not saying it's right, because I'm like, you just don't understand comedy. Yeah. I'm like, you don't, we do this every night. Exactly. our life. We think about it constantly. Right. So it's like our like... I would understand like you're saying.

I'd understand our audience, but we're getting offended. But it's like, if you're a comic getting offended, it's like, you do this. It's like, what are you like? Are you crazy? You're offended now? Then get out now. Yeah, because you're gonna get more offended. Business is fucking ruthless itself. If the words are hurting you, it's like, yeah, you're fucking.

Then you're crazy. You know? Dude, she like, she heckled me right? It heckled me? Throughout the rest of my set. She's like wrong, wrong? Yeah. Dude.

Like McLaughlin? Yeah. Wrong, wrong. You make me sound like an anti- semi, I'm like, that's not, you know, like, I don't want that attached to my name. It's like, that's crazy. Of course not. But then that's the thing.

But it's believable, too, because I'm like, I'm an Arab. It's like, of course it's like, you know. Well, then you, that's what you need to do is throw it back on them to be like, why? Because I'm Muslim or Muslim. Why don't know? I mean, Arabic, it's Muslim. It's Muslim. It's Muslim, yeah.

But you could say Muslimism. Yeah. I'm not going to get up and arms about it. I was like, he's a Muslim and Muslim men. Yeah, I don't know. Sorry, I was done out there for a second. I know. He was like, he started talking about the Arabs.

I know. I'm sorry, I was shooting my AK-47 in the desert. Started thinking about three kings. I don't know. I'm going to keep it quiet. Yeah, I don't get that. I don't like it. If someone's going to get offended, it's like, cool.

My favorite, uh, you touched Adam's hand right there. How sweet. But my favorite self-righted thing I saw the other day was this, this homeless guy was talking to himself on the train. And this woman gave him a mask. And she's like, you said that on. stage I was dying. She's like, that was hilarious.

She goes, you should really be wearing this. Not a bar of soap. I remember when you did that tag, you were like, she was, she acted surprised when he started screaming. Yeah, I was like, you should be surprised you try to fucking bite you. You started yelling at her. She was like, what? Why is he mad at me?

It's like, you're fucking into it. She tried to like docks him. She was taking like pictures of them and stuff. I was like, what the whole? Yeah, I was like, when you get fired for being home? Yeah. Kick fucking. He's going to kick.

out of his house off the train? Yeah, yeah. She's like, go to his house. She's in the third box off of Bleasn Street. Exactly, he's in the third train in. He might have his pants on. He might not. That is crazy, man.

My very thing, too, is people with docs, like, people at white supremacist rallies, they'll be like, this is his Facebook profile. So if you're, I was like, who has a friend that goes to, like, neo-nazzi things? And I assume they're not very quiet on Facebook. Like, a white supremacist? Like, I'm sure you see, like.

Yeah, exactly. You think they're like. You're like, you don't give a fuck. Yeah. This is the thing. Like you can't, this is what annoys about people. You need the yin and yang of life.

I'm not saying you should like, we should stop hate, you know, crimes and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But not everyone has to get along,

guys. Yeah, yeah. Not everyone has to like each other. This whole coexisting. It's like, it's just, yeah.

It's just life, man. It's not realistic. It's not realistic, dude. It's like, that's why it's like, you know, do what you can. Yeah.

You know, stay out of the fuck away, use some common sense and shut the fuck up. I'm just like, If you had any shorts on, we'd see you're nuts. Don't you dare stretch in your own home, right? Seriously.

You don't have a bad hair situation. You don't have a bad hair situation. How are you, Adam, with your hair? I'm not as hairy, like, for an Arab. I'm not that bad. Not that bad, yeah. You know, I fucked the Moroccan. For real.

I'm woke. He was Muslim. Hell yeah. Yeah, man. We wasn't that Muslim if he fucked you, right? Isn't against the rules? Well, no, I mean, it's just everybody breaks the rules. I was still technically.

Wait, hold on. It's not like you'd fuck a white girl, right? Yeah. And he's Muslim? What the fuck you're talking about? He's not like conservative Muslim. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, his middle name was though, um,

Abdullah. Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna guess Muhammad and you had to like think about it. No, was Muhammad. That's what it was, Muhammad.

I'm telling the wrong name. It was Mohammed. It was, oh, I don't want to say his full name. But that was his middle name was Muhammad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man, from Tangier,

but he was more like Spanish because that's like fucking right over the fucking... Moroccan's weird because there's also that David guy who's Marocan, but he was like white. David who? It's like there it's There's like a very like you could be like dark skin Skin light skin

I wonder if other countries think that about like random places They're like oh he's from Florida so he has to look like this And they meet like a Chinese guy from Florida And they're like how is it possible? Yeah no totally that's funny actually Yeah But no yeah Morocco's because it's like it's on the ocean You know the water so it's like you get a major port

So you get all for people But northern part is a lot Spanish Because it's literally right over Gibraltar Yeah that kind of makes sense And southern gets more like African and then you got the blue people and they all like... What are the blue people?

They wear blue and they live in the desert. Oh, dang. In Morocco? Yeah. They call them blue people. That's the most like regular way. It was just the blue people.

Yeah, his roommate was like one of those. And I banged him too. And yeah, because I got mad because he like dumb. We were not even... It was fucked up. I was in my early 20s and I was really a mess.

This is in Florida or here. In Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Oh, so you lived like all the place. Moroccans in South Carolina. So you got, in Hilton Head, you got to understand it's like very touristy there. So it's like the Disney of that world. It's like they'll have people from all over the world that come to work at like the resorts because it's cheap labor. And they end up staying there and doing whatever.

So yeah, I mean, like when I first moved there, I lived with a bunch of Lebanese dude and a Turkish guy. Really? And it's funny, the Lebanese guy would always make, the Lebanese guys would always make fun of the Turkish guy. He's like, he's stupid. You can steal a car with no engine into it. He always made fun of the Turkish. Yeah, there's like, there's like so much racism within like air. Oh, that's what I said.

And Brian... We always, like, growing up, people back, yeah, Moroccans are horrors. Yeah, exactly. But you know what the... Right. You could smash him, but don't fucking marry him. Yeah. Right.

Out of no joke. And Brian Torres-Day talks about this a lot. He goes, even when the Latin communities, there's like, you know, like Mexicans hate on, like, Salvadorians. Like, there's all that beef in everyone's, like, unit. You know what I mean? But no one hates white people more than white people. Brian always...

Yeah. Just have to watch any white comic set. Oh, God. I love that. They're just like, we are the worst, right? Yeah,

that's so fucking, I'm like, dude, oh, I got to God, how hockey, I'd rather you call me a terrorist, you know,

or something shit, right? You know, like, do you have to deal with that shit ever? Like, do you fly a lot?

No, not really. No, no. Yeah, I haven't been outside of New York that much. Yeah. That's funny.

Nor was my brother. He's born raised here basically for the most part. He, like, just went over the bridge maybe 10 years ago. For real.

Yeah. I want to travel. It's just, you know, yeah. No, I hear you. They won't let you on the plane. No, word, man. No, I hear you. My family, like, my mom was like the first, like, going over, like, the bridge was like,

whoa, you move into Jersey, huh? It was like a thing. Really? Yeah. Yeah. People kind of like, yeah, I feel like people from New York has. Even in your neighborhood. There's so much to do in New York.

I mean, not right now, but, like, before COVID, there's so much to do that, like, you can travel. Well, saving money to move from New York is, like, impossible. Yeah. You know, basically, you're. making money to live. Yeah, yeah. So it's you saving money. I mean, once you get out, that's what my dad, we moved to Pennsylvania.

We first moved to North Carolina when I mean, my dad retired from sanitation. He's like, we're fucking out of here, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not paying these taxes and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's just highway robbery. You're getting raped every day. Yeah, it really is.

It's ridiculous, yeah. Even now the rent's going back up. Is it? Yeah, I know. So it's like, oh, it's good. It's so cheap. It's like, yeah, not for long. Yeah, not for long.

Yeah. That's why I wish I did a 15 month lease in this to 12. I'm like, ugh, that would have been a little... Yeah, yeah. You could have done a 15, and then I'm like, yeah. I know. Dumbass. Even, I'm on a 12 months least right now.

They're going to raise the rent at the end of the year. Where do you live at him? I just moved to Kronites. You did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you like it? I like, the neighborhood is, it's a little hood, but I don't really mind. But it's like the building is just so nice.

It's like one of those, like, gentrification buildings that they put up to like, yeah, yeah. They would have never showed me the place before the pandemic. No, no, no, guaranteed. Yeah, yeah. No, right, right, right. It's like L-shaped doorknobs. It's two bathrooms, man. It's like the nicest place I've ever lived.

So you have your own bathroom? I got my own bathroom. Holy shit. There's a half bathroom, but like my roommate, Ryan, he just uses like, he just takes the half bathroom. Who is your own? O'Toole. Oh, tool's your roommate?

Yeah, yeah. You and O'Toole live together. Yeah. Oh, my God. That place has got to be amazing. Yeah. That's awesome. Dude, he just like, this might be a little too inside, but he's not going.

Fucking the Lint store, he used to live right near the Lint store. So he just go through their trash. out bags of like chocolate. I swear to God, just like bags. So our house, like there's just, the entire fridge is just chocolate, man. Like, I can't even fit great groceries. Yeah.

I could steal it. Every cabinet is just, whatever you fucking love that. He's like, I'm gonna start selling them. Yeah. He's like, I got little chocolate. Two for 15. He's like, he's just on this subway with chocolate. He's like, I got my inner city basketball team.

We're trying to make money. They're like, you're not a black child. We don't believe you. He's like, oh, tool, is that you? He's just like, look at it like some other black kid trying to sell. He's like, get the fuck out of it. This is my territory.

That's amazing. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I just, for me, like that part of Brooklyn, like,

I never got, I mean, you guys are young. I just, I'm over living that lifestyle. I'm just like, dude,

I just want to live there and I can go to a grocery store and have my bar. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's hard to find, like, what do you guys go food?

Are there a lot of hipsters there? I don't know why. No, no, no, no. No, no. I think they left.

They left. Yeah, yeah. It's, The neighborhood's like pretty pretty pretty. Yeah, yeah. I always wonder about, you know what I do? When I, when I pass some of those neighborhoods, I'm like, I see the Amazon drivers and I'm like, oh, my God, that has to suck to have to go into the hood and drop packages off in those buildings, huh?

Yeah. Like, don't you think? Like, first off, they're like 500 floors, right? I got a package the first day I got robbed. Yeah, right. I was planning on return it anyway, but yeah, I got robbed. Yeah, I was like, yeah, whatever. I don't get fucked, you know?

I just think it's like, how do they not get jumped more? You know what I mean? Like, how do they not fuck up the Amazon guy? Because you know how they just fuck up, like, sometimes a delivery driver. Yeah, yeah. But I think it's because it's like sometimes you could just leave it on like the porch. That's usually what they do. It's like, oh, I don't need to fuck that guy up.

I just go sky when they go grab it. Yeah, yeah. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah, the pizza guy, you have to still go stab the pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You still got to stab the pizza guy. Yeah.

Because the pizza guys, you're attached to the pizza until someone takes it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, they need to figure out a way to do that. They just drop it on the stoop and be like, here you go, guys. Fight about it. Yeah, yeah. I don't give a fuck. I'll take the, yeah.

You got your, like, cheeseburger pizza from Domino's. There you got, you got, packages, but even sold even here. This is like a nice neighborhood. Well, packages get stolen everywhere. I'm not saying this.

I just wonder, like, because, like, the Amazon guys, it's not like they go to, they have, like, in the hood, there's like six, seven buildings. Yeah. And you have to like,

so what do you do? Do you take, like, all the packages and you go there? I just think, first off, working for Amazon's got to suck. I mean, shout out to the Amazon people. Yeah, yeah. Like, especially now that I'm collecting unemployment,

I'm like, I don't know how people have jobs, man. I'm so pissed. I wish I'd get fired so I could fucking collect on employment. That's a hard part because if you get fired, you're like, oh, I got fired. Because I work through a temp agency. Wait, are you allowed to get an employment when you're fired? I don't know how it works. Yeah, you are, but that's the only way you can get it.

If you quit your job, you can't get on employment. No, right? So I have to wait for, well, I have to wait for my job then, which is we have being soon. But I'm so jealous. Like, I have people that I know that own restaurants and they're like, I can't hire anyone, right? No one's work. No one wants to work.

They're getting their fucking stymie checks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The stimulus and like the weekly, it's like 300 plus like another like 200. Is that what it is? You're getting 500 a week right now? I'm like 482. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, for doing that.

With or without taxes taken out? Without taxes. Without taxes. Okay, so 42 a week. Yeah. Man, I can't wait for that shit for me, man. Yeah, I'm still waiting on my stimulus check. Are you?

I thought I was going to have to save it more money because I told you I'm doing the Broadway bringer thing, which is a shameful thing, but I thought. So basically. It's not shameful. That's your way of. just working, doing what you got to do. But the funny thing was like the, so if you don't know if you're an audience member,

so like the bringer is like you bring a couple people and you get stage time, but they don't tell you what people. And I really just want to bring some homeless guys. That would be amazing. There's just a guy like smoking crack in the front row or something. I don't know if you guys are doing. Start screaming.

Yeah. That is the ghost are back. Yeah. The ghost are back. Oh my God. He's just going through the aisles with his shopping cart, like taking candles and drinks and throwing them in. My father.

everyone. Yeah. How funny would that be? The Broadway guy's like, he's like, hey, you can't be. He's like, taking off his clothes. I'm like, what do you? I'm like, so we're racist here and not. Like, no, that guy is shitting on the floor.

That's the problem. That's well, that's just the culture. Yeah. Exactly. He's valid. Yeah. He's valid. You should, I don't know if you guys already did tough.

Did you guys do the tough love Mike ever in Queens? We had a homeless guys that hang out in the back. Oh, they'd fight over the bench. They would fight over the bench. They were like, this is my park. Yeah, totally. You should invite them. They're a great thing.

They're like the guys from the Muppets, the two old dudes are like, Oh, for real? They're that. But there were like three of them. And they'd always like hang in the back. And if someone was bombing, he's like, that's not. They're just like, they're fun, though. The homeless people are the best part of outdoor comedy.

Oh, my God. They are. They are. A little part, I think this summer is going to be off the hook, though. Like, it's going to be Caligula. I am very excited. It's going to be some Dionysian fucking, like, Rome fuckfest. It's going to, I just think the city is going to explode.

Dude. And also, people have been so fucking. Captain, dude, totally. And usually the city is kind of dead in the summer, but I feel like whoever's here, it's gonna be. It's gonna, yeah, great. Even last summer was amazing. I had great time last summer.

I mean, I got admit, the pandemic treated. That was one of the best years of my life. Yeah, for me. I had some ups and down, but it was pretty fucking fun. Oh, yeah, you did, Mikey. But I got to say. No, but I had some fucking ops, too. I had some ties that were like so much fun.

Yeah. That funeral I went to was a fucking blast. I talked about it like last week with the podcast. It was so much fun. We buried him and then we got so hammered. And it was a phenomenal time. It was a good send-off. Yeah,

yeah. Irish send-off, bro. Oh, yeah, it was perfect. Yeah, I don't want people

like crying and fucking sobbing. Yeah, no, I hope my- you should be crying and fucking sobbing. But I'd have to get no pussy you want to have in my funeral.

Um, no, yeah, I was, I got to say the pandemic treated me well. Yeah, yeah.

I'm very lucky. I feel like unless you're making a fuck ton of money. Right. Like, I guess, I heard everybody in like middle was very hard. So like, if you were just like,

if you were really rich, you got all the, bank bailout type things and then if you're like I mean at least I don't make a lot of money like I was great but like I heard if you're in the middle and it just kind of suck

yeah probably that or if you're like fucking living in Jackson Heights with 10 other people and you're a delivery food driver from like Mexico sending your money for the family yeah they had it rough like that's what I'm saying

all these people are like oh it's horrible bro you're full of shit you're sitting at home you're smoking weed and you maybe have to work from home or you're unemployed you are not like I lived near Jackson Heights

dude and man those poor people up there and Elmhurst and shit. I mean, they were literally finding bodies in apartment buildings, and they don't even know who they're, who they are. Because there's some of them are illegal and doing whatever, and they're sending money back home. So, I mean, that's like real shit. So, you know, I had a ball.

So I'm sorry, you know, God bless those guys, and everyone needs to shit. Even the lows I had last year, I'm like, it doesn't compare. And none of us got radicalized. Exactly. I'm not into Q&ON. Yeah. No ISIS.

No ISIS yet. And I don't know how I could get radicalized. Yeah, I don't know. My thing. I don't even know. I'm a radical of my own. I've got a little animal inside me. I wake up agitated every day.

Yeah, as long as you don't... If you blame everybody and not a specific group, then you're good. Yeah, no, I don't blame anyone. I take responsibility for my shit. Actually, I do, I do sometimes go after chicks, but you know, hey, what are you going to do? I'm trying to make them better. I'm giving them a memory. Wait, so you were talking about, have you smoked crack before?

So that's the thing. The brown stuff, I thought it was a synthetic crack. that the stuff that you're talking about. So I must have been DMT, so I think I'm in the clear. I have had a buddy of mine in my car smoking crack and I was in the driver's seat. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, do I... I had a friend Blackout and dude was so funny because he was just like, he's like the kind of guy who like would wear a sparrie. It's like not a crazy guy and he's just like, I smoked crack last night. Like he was just from a homeless guy. He was just like, yeah, that was not good.

I smoked crack and I was just like, yeah. I like to think that like anyone, like anyone's like I would never do that it's like dude if you're next to someone and they offer you like just anything in general anything in general I'm just saying people in general to be like I would never do that it's like really if it's right next to you

the moment's right you're maybe buzzed or you got something you're on a little hot you got that like oh I would never do that fuck off you're just not around the right people yeah and it's one of those things where since I've had a lot of friends do crack but it's just so funny because it was just like it's so funny somebody that just blacked out and did it they're like like you know you black

out you lose your wall That fucking sucks, man. It's like, if I'm going to crack, I want to fucking... I blacked out and I smoke some crack last night. But I heard it like sobers you up a... It's like Coke. Like, you got a lot of Coke. So they're like, it was just like, I was like, whoa.

And then I was like, yeah. Have you done crack? No, no, no, I don't know. Well, we used to do these things called cocoa puffs where it's not crack, but you'd... I don't even think it really works. So you lick a cigarette and you dip it in Coke and you smoke it. Oh, okay. But the thing is you'd always be doing a bunch of coke while you're doing that.

You're like, I think it worked. but I'm pretty sure you have to freebase cocaine to smoke it. In New York, we had things called ooh blunts. I heard that was correct. Like, if you put a cigarette in cocaine, yeah. No, because the whole point of rocking it is so that you can freebase it. Oh, man, maybe I haven't because I had to think. You just like, yeah, yeah.

And wait, I had a roommate in college. She was Puerto Rican. She was wonderful. It's funny. I had a Puerto Rican roommate and a Cuban roommate and they both hated each other. They hated each other, man, so bad. But the Puerto Rican roommate, really quick story. She was funny because she came in when she came in our first day,

she had like a pound puppy, like poster and she had all these pound puppies and all these like, pound puppy. Pound puppies were these like, oh my God, you guys are funny. Pound puppies were like, back in the day, they were like these toys, but there are, there are puppies and they were from the pound. So they're like this like, it was a cartoon. They're like missing eyeballs. No, they weren't like that bad.

They weren't like the cabbage patch kid fucking. They freak out when you open the door too fast. No, they were just whatever dogs, whatever. So she was just very into like fluffy and she had all these stuffed animals. And she was, her name was like, oh, fuck. I don't want to give her name. Her name was named after our flower. So she's a very, but everyone left.

Everyone dropped us off. And I was like, and my friend and I were like, you got to tell people that we smoke weed. I was like, all right, fine. So I had sat down. I was like, hey, guys, I don't know how you feel about this. But Catherine and I, we spoke some weed. And the girl gets up and she goes, yo, I'm about to fucking pack up a o blunt right now, yo. We're like, what?

She takes the pound puppies, like all the fucking things off. And she's got a pound of weed right there. We're like, whoa. So the thing is, though, she used to, like, wrap it with a blunt and then sprinkle cocaine on it. Yeah, yeah. And then we smoke it. So did I smoke crack? No, no. Okay. No, no. Because crack, you have to take Coke. And you know that's it. You have to take hydrogen peroxide and like boil it until like, like it's a different thing. Like you, I don't know what, it's what's called free basing.

You know how there's like, it's something with. It's the Richard Pryor thing. Yeah, yeah. So free basing cocaine isn't the same as smoking crack. No, free basing cocaine is. Okay. is smoking crack. But then what is free basing then? It's not smoking it? So it's like, you're, you're purifying it to like it's, you're doing something where you're making it either, no matter what you're making it stronger, but you're changing something chemically in it so that it's like, significantly stronger. And then it makes it more smokable, I think.

See, that just sounds, though, it's like economically makes more sense because then you're buying a cheap product. Yeah, that gets higher. Yeah. So, you know, that makes sense. Like cocaine- Crackheads are very fiscally responsible. Yeah, yeah.

But I would think that's a very fiscal responsible. Financially responsible people. Exactly, yes. No, they make it. You get more for your buck. Yeah. They're like the Native Americans. They use every piece of the buffalo.

They're smoking out of cans They drank it's very efficient Exactly dude Recycling Yeah yeah yeah That's smart man But yeah so I think it's what happened I think what I've heard by somebody who

Likes to have fun Is that they were telling me that like A lot of times crack is made with shittier coke though So like they'll take like little bits of it So like and then it'll So like balsamic vinegar for wine Yeah something like that Yeah

So they're like wine and then the little sentiments They make balsama vinegar so you're getting the drippings of cocaine of crack. Yeah, but if you're like Charlie Sheen, like, he would smoke crack. And I'm sure that's because, like, he had such a Coke problem that like you're like that. That only high to get was crack was left. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's crazy, man.

Okay. Well, there you go. The knowledge of crack, guys. You're very welcome. This is brought to you by the letter C. Try it out. You know, let it know how it goes. I never done special K.

I never done K though. I never done K. I like it. I like it. Yeah, I remember the mic the other day. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was because like a year ago. we were talking about it was St. Patrick's Day

one time and I was talking about or like the last St. Patrick's Day, I was like, do you guys remember St. Patrick's Day last year? Because I was doing ketamine talking about how COVID was fake. Because it was like a year ago. And I'm like, I was just such a different place now. I was just like, oh my God.

You can still get ketamine? Yeah. Well, they use it. First off, you can get it for depression therapy now. Oh, yeah. I know somebody, there's a comic, but I can say his name, but he takes like throat loggins.

Oh, really? I can't say that word. Right, throat lozenges. Yeah, yeah, they have ketamine in it. And they also use it. Like, if you've been, it's like one of the most widely used anesthetics. Like, they'll use it for surgery a lot. So, like, you can get it.

Well, isn't it like a horse tranquilizer or a horse thing? Yeah, but it's for people to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I heard that's what it was. Because I remember when it started hitting, hitting the streets. And like the village voice, or I think, or was it device back in the day had like how to make it.

They give you like how to like a baking like 101. Oh, fuck. I was like, what the fuck? This is like. Vice used to be so much cooler. Now it's like Dave Chappelle's new special offensive. I know, exactly. It's horrible, dude.

It is so bad. And the thing is though they take themselves so fucking seriously. You're like, dude, well, you get over yourself, bro. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. They did have some interesting, like, documentaries. Oh, sweet.

And you know who started it, right? Yeah, fucking... The guy who started the proud boys. Really? Yeah. Yeah. He was one of the guys that are with it. Yeah.

And you should see him. He looks like a fucking... Yeah. He's got the fucking handlebar mustache and shit. I think I think I've seen. Did he used to like do the documentaries and like the vans. very beginning where he'd actually like go

to those like countries. I did you know he started like the company. No, you're thinking of Shane, whatever guy, the big guy that's Canadian. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So him and the bunch of guys started it. Started the powboys. No, sorry, Vice. And Vice used to be like, I used to find, you know, Kim's Underground, it's on like downtown, it's West Forth, whatever.

It's like, they used to have like, next to the village voice. It used to be just a newspaper publication kind of a thing what I remember. And I don't know what happened, but they got to they got like split up somehow. And then they went to HBO and all of a sudden they're like, we're afraid for global warming. And it used to be like alt kind of media with music, art.

It was just kind of almost punkish in a way. Now it's just gotten completely like, you know, Wokey, P-C. Fucking BuzzFeed. Yeah. BuzzFeed completely. Like just not even interesting fuck and stuff. It used to be like, I took acid and I went to Disney World.

Yeah. Which is fun. Now it's like, yeah, these. Now they're like, women are being paracuted in Iowa. It's like, what? It's a fuck. I was reading, like... They're just always angry.

It's like, I don't want to, like, read such angry news. Yeah, it's not like I want to be sheltered. I know there's bad shit on the planet, but also like, I don't... Be a little neutral. Like, be a little unbiased. Tell me what's going on. Yeah, yeah. Just like, be informed.

What's going on. That's all I want to know. I feel like every news outlet now, it's just like, they're so obviously... Not even like news outlet, but it's just like... Most of like the shit you read is just so, like... Everything's a blatantly. Yeah. Opinionated, like...

Such an opinion piece. It's like, dude, just give me the information. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I read The Economist. I just give me info. It's just like, just let me know. They're like, this is what's going on. I just get my information from open mics.

I hear what's the comics said. I'm like, that's going on. I'll do my research now. That is too funny, dude. Yeah, and I know. The hot topic is gun control and NCAA women athletes, which I'm trying to work on a joke about that. Because it's like they're talking about like the pay wage gap.

And the thing that kills me, it's like, okay, women who, first off, women in general, or people in general, you watch sports. Sports, actual watching has gone down. People are not watching sports like in general. So it's like how many of those people are watching women sports? Yeah, yeah. Like, listen, in capitalism, it's like if there's a way to make money and people are watching

microwave like babies, then they'll be a March Madness Microwave Baby. Oh, yeah. It's not only about, it's just about the fact of like what they make money off of. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like I played basketball. I don't watch women's basketball. And these companies are also, they're so disconnected, though. it's like when they're trying to make all the sports woke stuff

and they're like, I don't know if you know who your fans are, but like, yeah, they're not the people. They're not. And like if you look at women's, like look at Serena Williams and look what she's done. Now what bitch makes tons of dough and good for her. And she's making it, you know, like whatever. And then I also heard about this during COVID,

like big, there's this thing term called secondary sports. So like big 10 schools and all these other schools across the country like basically defunded like men's gymnastics, track and field and I forget the other one but tennis which are all single

person sports during COVID could probably play you can play tennis during COVID you could do gymnastics during COVID and it only cut 1.6 million off the budget so it didn't help in any way of whatever but they god knows they can't cut you know basketball or football

because that's their money maker you know so it's like it's not a it's about dollars and fucking sense at the end of the day it's not It's not, you know. Exactly. It's like we were saying about the dead babies

in the microwave. It's like, if fucking, like, women's sports were, were like the dominant, it's like volleyball or some shit. Like that and they're watching that shit.

They fucking, I'm so women's beach volleyball makes money, you know? It's just like, that's just the deal. It's like you can't, like, I just don't understand why everyone's like the guy with that.

It's like, no, we got to figure out, you got to figure out how to make the eyeballs hit the fuck. And you need to hire right people to get you the right shit.

Yeah. Also, then you just need more interesting sports. Yeah, exactly. Have you watched team fighting? No. It's fucking sick. It's like MMA fighting, but they have teams.

And it's like somewhere in like you. Dude, is that just a brawl? Yeah, it's fucking badass. That is amazing. Hold on. There should be bar fighting like thing. Let's be a bar fighting. Like this should be.

Oh, that would be great. They're like Jim over here. It's a bar room and like a arena. We're at Millio Hellahans in like in different parts of the country and there's a straight up bar fights. Jim fucked Tom's wife and he's about to tell him about it. Okay, he's walking up here. Like the funeral, they're having a funeral there.

Yeah, yeah. They just do a bar fight. That's amazing. Two commentators just show up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like World Series of Dice. Like, we're here in the Martian Project. Yeah, totally, dude.

That'd be amazing. It would be somebody at bar fights, too, because it's all of it's just like, I love when people get in fights. It's all just, they're always misunderstanding. Somebody's just like, I thought you said that, like, nobody said anything. You said it was. I meant to fight that guy. Yeah.

Exactly, dude. But I feel bad to cut it off on such a fun note. I mean, yeah, because we got to get going. So we're going to find you online, Adam? I'm on Instagram at Adam Hamada. That's HM-A-M-A-A-A-A-O-M-A-A-A-A-M-A-A-G-A-G-G-E-S-R-S-W-E-F-E-F-E-F-E-F-E-F-E-F-E-F-EV-EF. Perfect, thank you.