Morning Good - Just the Beers In My Fridge January - Episode 145

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Christophe Jean returns to the show as today's solo guest. He and Michael talk about Drake Campana's new Mexican life, the NYC underground mole people, and quitting benzodiazepines.Thanks to Christophe for coming back on the show. This was his first time as a solo guest, but check out earlier episodes for more from him and Tony Wellons. Make sure also to follow Christophe on Instagram @chrisjeanofficial and check out his official Snapchat series called “One Question”.As always, find Michael Good on Instagram @michael_good1125 and on Twitter @agoodmichaelThis podcast was produced by Paxton Fleming, you can find him on Instagram @yaboypax 

Thanks for the F-Shack. Love Dirty Mike and the Boys. Hey, are you dirty Mike and the boys? How you know who we are? What's this? They called the podcast? Morning good? I love that.

Yeah, it's me with the boner on the front. Welcome to morning. Video now? All right, yeah, just video. No, we're here with Christoph, Gene. What's up? And we're not here with Michael Almond's. No, Michael Bail to take care of his great aunt who is ill.

Is this great aunt? Yeah, it's his great aunt. I think he just didn't want to explain that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe he's embarrassed. His aunt is that old? Yeah. I'd be embarrassed.

I wouldn't let anybody know that. Oh, you're going to hang out with your aunt? Yeah. She's like, what, 50, 60? Yeah. And then you're like, no, she's 92. Yeah. What a fucking loser, dude?

Yeah, she didn't live life. At old-ass bitch. Yeah, dude. My aunt died at 25. Oh, really? One of them, yeah. I know. That's not funny.

Dude, I just had to do By the way, I would love a segment if whenever somebody bails in the podcast, we just make up shit about them, just like insane, horrible things. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a new thing we're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mike actually was, he was too busy running his pedophile kid trafficking ring to make it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, if you knew Mike, you'd... Oh, I thought... You said to make it, I thought you meant, like, he's trying to make it in that industry. Yeah, he is trying to... It's a tough business, but there's a vacuum after Epstein left, and everyone's clambering for top... top pedophile. Well, he's in New York.

It's probably, Port City's got to be the only spot. What's Port City? I'm new to the city. No, no, Port City. So cities that have been... Oh, Port Cities. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see.

If you're in Kansas, you can't... No. Right. It's kind of like... It's the same reason why there's, like, meth there instead of, like, Coke. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's because it's just shipping is expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, logistically. That's why, like, yeah, they say, like, Miami has the best cocaine, because that's where it comes right on. It's right there. It's also full of Cubans. and Hispanics that love cocaine.

They're used to it back home. Also, I feel like... And Jews. I don't know if Jews love cocaine, do they? I have no clue. I'm doing a new stereotype. All Jews love cocaine. Yeah.

That's why they love Miami's cocaine. Yeah, it's the only reason. And Batchatah. That's why all those Jews go down there. There was one thing I saw recently. There was an article about this one Jewish thing in New York. I guess it happened on New Year's. Yeah.

Somebody wrote on a building, it said, uh, Vax the Jews, which sounds weirdly like gas, like, it's like a weird thing. And people call it a hate crime. I'm like, it is a weird. Like, I get that it's a hate crime because. No, it is. Anything you say the Jews is definitely bad. But then it's like, I don't know what guy is like pro-vax and anti-Jew. No, he's definitely anti-both.

This is my, you know what? It's open for debate now that I'm thinking. Well, because I'm thinking he's anti-vax and he's like vaccinate all these Jews. Jews give them Myocarditis. I didn't even think about that. Because if you hate Jews, you also hate the vaccine.

Right. There's not, there's no. That's no, yeah, that makes sense. I was confused by that. I was like, why would they? I thought these guys were like genuinely concerned about the Jews vaccinated.

I mean, a lot of them, the Orthodox Jews don't believe it. Right, right, right. I believe. Right? Yeah, but they wouldn't be putting up the sign. No. Yeah, yeah.

And so I thought it was like a concerned liberal that was also semi-anty-Semitic. You gotta get them back. I'm trying to think of this person. Yeah, yeah. The concerned liberal who's also anti-Semitic. It's just Joe Biden. Yeah.

He's a car-vaccinate Jews. I don't like them. They run too much. They've got their greed of little hands and everything. But worst of all, they're not getting vaccinated. If you don't like me, you're not Jewish. Are you are Jewish? That would be also if you've doubled down dead forever.

You're not Chinese. You're not Chinese if you don't like Joe Biden. I mean, I'm trying to. I'm trying to think what minorities, I mean, I would imagine Orthodox Jews don't love Joe Biden. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think so. Because they seem like pretty conservative people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they're like, socially. Yeah, that is always weird. It seems like weirdly, like religious people like Trump. But he's not, yeah, there's got to be, I don't know, I don't know if he's coming back. You saw the trading cards thing, right? Yeah, it's NFTs. The most amazing thing ever. Yeah, I bought 10 of them.

Yeah, yeah. I have them in my Apple Wall. or my coin wallet. What the fuck is it called? My wallet. You're still like 7-11. You're like, do you guys take Trump NFTs?

You guys take Trump if he was the Joker? I'm like, it's encrypted. There's a special code for Trump. He was the Joker. I should be able to buy basically all of your Copenhagen with my Trump and FD. Like it's worth $600.

I mean, they were worth $100. Yeah, they're like $100. I got in on it, dude. I mean, it's funny to imagine, because it's like old conservatives they love like they love 9-11 coins yeah yeah yeah oh so the new ones

it's the new version of 9-11 coins that are on Fox News yeah that is a good point because like the the broie like crypto guys yeah that like love Trump you know that they have to they probably like don't regulate whatever yeah like they think that

they're just like you know they're just what's it called they're like millionaires but not yet You know, like, that's kind of how they live. So they're like, well, I want someone in office who's going to protect my finances. And it's like, you make $50,000 a year. I don't know.

This is not for you. Yeah. Like, you're in sales at some place. Right. And I was thinking this, though, those guys will influence the way, because those guys are going to be so successful and they talk so bro-y. I mean, I sound broie too. Yeah. But the future of America will sound like this, dude.

It'll get more and more. Yeah, the finance bros are going to be. they're going to be influencing society. Yeah, there's going to be two out of a hundred of them that end up millionaires. And then one out of a thousand that are rich beyond all belief. Yeah, yeah. For sure. And it's almost, I've noticed, I don't know if it's just New York, but there's a different kind of voice because I have like a discounted dude voice.

But they have a little bit. A little bit. I say fan. Finn. Can you guys me my fan? Dude, where's my fan? Nice. There's a little deeper though.

It's like, dude, we're going to get fucked up. It goes in all. Almost. I don't even know how to describe it. They're like this. I mean, this almost sounds like, uh, duh. Yeah. He's that guy, uh, fuck, I don't remember his name. Like, uh, Super Dave.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. You ever, you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. He's like, uh, two Jews walking to a bar.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they sound like that. Is that you're saying? Yeah, yeah. But it's got, it's like, I'm trying to think of like, like, one dude's like, dude, we bought tickets to the comedy show, but like, we weren't told we couldn't vape inside.

Yeah. Yeah, I got a friend, like, it's vocal fry almost. For sure. I have a friend who's very broie who has total vocal fry and he's just like a guy from Tampa. Do you think it's from Jeweling? No, I mean, no, he always had, as soon as he went through puberty, he just always sounded like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, Trevor, his name's Trevor. Yeah, he's one of my closest friends. But did he, do you think he, I always wondered about this, because I wonder if he, his voice was like that or if like, Because I wonder even if my own voice, you wonder if like some people make their voice deeper? Because some people don't match their voice. You wonder if they made their voice deeper. Yeah. It became permanent.

Maybe. I mean, there's definitely people who like, I don't know, it's like that lady who did all those scams in medicine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she like talks like this. Yeah. Yeah, because she thought it like made her seem more cool and like masculine or something. What the, I forgot her name. You can't just like change that.

Like that's your voice for a while. Yeah. Yeah. She's probably pretty locked into it. I mean, Valley Girl isn't real in the sense of like. But that influenced, like, like, the same way the transatlantic thing, like, that influence, like, across the culture. There's, like, these fake voices. There's also, like, upspeak isn't real. I heard. What's that? Upspeak is where you're, like, you end every sentence on, like, an upward, like, oh, on a high note?

Like, if you be, like, yeah, yeah, I don't know where that is. Like, I, uh, did you bring your backpack? Like, everything sounds like a question. That's how I sound on the, the phone. Yeah. I was told recently it's like a gay elf on the phone. Because every time, hi, how's it going? This is Michael. It's like so extreme how like my voice changes on the phone. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I think I do that too a little bit. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, sure, yeah. It goes up. I was talking to the person about it. I was like, well, the thing is, who would you want to answer a gay elf? That's like the sweetest, you want to be the ideal person on the phone.

He'd be like, why can I do for you? He's like making cookies and shit. I love this guy. Yeah, it's the most positive phone experience. Oh, is this, yeah, it's, what a scamp answered? This is great, dude. Yeah, yeah. I think it's, I heard somewhere that it's like,

it's, if you make your voice higher that you're less threatening, that, like, for sure, because when you're serious, you go, you go like this. Like, it's very much no, dot, dot, dot, dot, like that. But when you're like, just having a good time, guys. Like, it's, like, it's, like, you're opening your arms, you know? You're like, it's okay, it's all right, you know? And I think it's worth so much customer service, and that's what you do. Yeah.

Yeah, nobody wants to hear somebody that's like stern on customer service. That was like sort of the opposite working sales is that I would catch myself doing that. And when you do that, a lot of the time you're trying to sell to someone, they like take charge, which is like exactly what you don't want. Yeah, yeah. If you're like, no, it's like this, you need this for the up down correlation between your APRs and your FPMs. You're not going to want it. Like, you can't be like, oh, I guess you could do that. Like you don't sound confident.

I don't want to buy from some pussy. Yeah, I don't want to buy some fucking gay elf. I'm not buying his financial software or whatever the fuck I was selling, dude. I don't know. Yeah. My girlfriend has vocal for it. Really?

Yeah. And she like does it on purpose sometimes, I think, to bother me. Yeah, I could see. She's like, really? I'm like, what the fuck, dude? What is your problem right now? Just to overdo it. Oh, dude, the funny thing I just wanted to bring up,

this is, I never talk about comedy, but this was just such an atrocious thing that happened. Yeah, I got to hear. This is the only bit I'll talk about. I was so excited for, Almanzar to come on because he was there for it. Oh, really?

Yeah. So he works in New York Comedy Club. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Did he tell you what happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gave me the, you know, spark notes. It was the most horrendous thing I could imagine. So, like, I had this joke about how I had to, like, attend a baby funeral. Yeah.

And the show goes fine, you know, not the best of all time. I like how you say you had to. Well, I didn't fucking want to go. Yeah. Where we have to go. Oh, my God. Do we, yeah. Or it's like where you're like, it's a great rest.

like I had to go to the baby I gotta see what this is all about okay let me see how small is the cast yeah yeah is he little in the big cast yeah

is like a little one yes sorry go ahead but uh I get off stage and this is my worst nightmare of this happening like what happened I was like I'm sitting there

and there's these couple that comes up and like they're about to compliment me I'm like getting my Instagram ready to go yeah yeah yeah he did Michael good comedy yeah better to get some followers and the dad just shows me a picture of a coffin with flowers on it and I'm with three comics and they get up and just leave immediately

because they know what's happening and she pushed like a comic the woman like pushed a comic out of the way. All right. Yeah and they were like, our baby died very recently and that joke made us feel horrible. I would be, bro,

if I had a dead baby, I wouldn't go to a comedy show for a while. You say that, But it's like, so what happened, the worst part is they were like, we were trying to do anything imaginable to just get our mind off of it. And I was, they're like, you have no idea how hard it is to distract yourself. And it was funny, though, that he had the picture ready to go on his phone. Yeah.

I like the picture of him, he's going through. He's like, oh, that's a Grand Canyon. That's some other guy's dead kid. That's not my dead kid. It would be one of you showed me something else. I was like, what is? It's just his cock. This is my baby.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. It is my baby. That's my real baby. Yeah. And then it was one of those were like, I wasn't like, the first thing I said, I was like,

from the bottom of my heart. That's the first thing I said. I was like, I am so sorry that you guys went through that. No, you should go full like, like edge lord comedian defending himself mode. Just middle finger.

Yeah, just give him the middle finger and be like, I was up there doing my fucking art. And you come to me with this dead baby bullshit. Fuck you. How about that? How about fucking you your dead fucking kid piece of shit?

They're probably watching but they're gonna listen to Spock. No, no, dude, if I would have converted them to Instagram followers that would have been incredible. What if they loved it?

They're like, our baby just died. That was great. There was a part of me because I have had people tell me with like some of the more fucked up jokes they're like.

Yeah, exactly. Because I have, by the way, did like a dead dad my dad's not dead but it's about me lying about having a dead. I've had people go like,

oh, I love that joke. My dad died. And I think it's really funny. Yeah. Oh, yeah, whatever. So there was a part of me that thought maybe that was going to happen and they were like,

it would have been amazing if I would have been like, this is terrible. If you guys have any go fund, send it to my Instagram. Definitely follow me. I'm on TikTok as well. Just convert it.

But yeah, I had to find like a weird balance because I was like, sorry. I just think it's funny to have a go fund me for a dead baby. Because you're like, you just saved like 800 grand. Yeah.

In that moment, dude, like you don't have to pay for a baby anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You saved a ton of money. Yeah, yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, dude. That's like a funeral was like, what, 10 grand? It's so expensive, yeah. And I don't think they discount it for the bait.

Like, you know, there's no way they're like. Yeah. Because they got to say. It's probably more expensive. The guy's like, I got to make a custom coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking old thing. That baby.

Yeah. I throw them in the trash. I don't know. No, that sucks, though, dude. I don't, yeah. Yeah. Well, sorry. I feel bad for the couple.

No, for sure. And it was one of those things, too, it was funny where, like, they, uh, I had to find a balance though because I was like, I'm so sorry that it. made you feel that way. Yeah. Like, I never want to make people feel uncomfortable. I'm just trying to make people laugh. And the guy goes,

I want you to apologize to my wife right now. And that's where I had to be like, I didn't? No, I was like, I can't do that. Bro, that's amazing.

But she was, she was grieving mother of her child. You made her upset. And you're like, nah. I can, I can't. I can.

Well, because the whole thing is like, it sounds so douchey, but you're like, That's awesome. I didn't do anything wrong. It was just horrible circumstances. No.

Yeah, yeah. Apologizing to, it's, it doesn't, yeah, you're right. I mean, the thing is, like, it's a crazy take to be like something bad happened to us and you reminded us of that bad thing on accident. For sure. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, well, you know, there's, to be, you know, to talk about anything for like X amount of time, to watch like 90 minutes of comedy, there's going to be. one thing within it. For every single person.

That is relevant to one person in the crowd that's horrible. For sure, yeah. Obviously. And it's not even like, I don't think you go out of your way. No, never. Yeah, yeah. And you're not like L.O.L. dead baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The crux of the bid is about like, like, you know, decorum or you're not decorum, like, you know. What I expected and how you're supposed to behave at a film. And it has nothing. It's not like LOL dead baby. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. The guy knew the bit very well, though, too. Yeah.

It's like the, he was Hispanic. Yeah, he was like, this bit was weak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should punch that up. Cut cut up the beginning. You're like, Jesus Christ, get to it. Like, you know, you talk about this, you dad. It's just talk about the dead kid.

Get to the dead kid. Get to the punch line. But luckily, she saved me by going. She was like, she was like, I don't want you to apologize. I just wanted you to know that it made me feel awful. Yeah, yeah. I had, what did I, I had a lady come up to me because I did a joke about Mexicans. And the cruxies.

of the bit is very pro-Mexican. It's obviously pro-Mexican. Yeah, yeah. Like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, people who tell people to learn English, like, people, yeah, yeah, yeah, people who tell people to learn English, you know, Mexicans to learn English, should learn how to say it in Spanish, because they have no idea what they're talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, because it's, like, an obvious thing in my head, I'm like, you're yelling at people in a language. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the whole point. And I, I don't, you should, whatever, you know, I don't make any comments, like, look, literally these fucking dirt whatever. The lady comes up to me and she's like, that was fucked up what you said about Mexicans. And I was like, how?

I said how? How is that fucked up? I'm saying it's okay that they don't speak English. And she goes, well, some of us do speak English. I was like, and some of you don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, you're saying that Mexicans don't speak English. It's not at all what I was saying.

I'm like, not even close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're saying this guy who's talking about the ones that don't know the language should know the language. Yes. I'm literally saying a guy who's noticing people who don't speak English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, every single one of us knows Spanish.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, certainly. Yeah, every Mexican knows English. That's my fault. And I was just like, you're a fucking dumb ass. Like, I didn't even know. I was like, you're being, I was like, and then she kept going, I see your point. I see your point. But some of us speak English.

Do better. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. You stupid bitch. Like, you can't even make when you're, you just admit that you didn't understand it. George Lopez and you're like, this guy needs to learn it. George Lopez obviously Colombian. He's not Mexican.

I know that. He's speaking perfect English. He must be a Filipino. Yeah, yeah. Just assume we'll hold it. Yeah. It's dumb as hell. Because those conversations are so hard because, like,

I had to sound dushy for a second. I had to be like, look, I also made a joke about my friend killing myself. I don't think that that itself is funny. Yeah. It's like, I would just, you know, I was just talking about, you know, I was like, I don't think toasters are funny, but maybe somebody could make a funny toaster joke. I was trying to be funny.

But luckily, they left at some point. They were looking for something. I think, I don't like. It was the last joke and I was the last comic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, we love the show until. So it's like, they, I was like, you like the first jokes I did? But it was just funny because I was like, they were probably getting their bags to leave.

And they're like, what a great night. And they're like, oh, no. And then you're like, hold on a fucking second. Well, the point of two is like somebody else's baby probably makes them think of their baby. So it's like, is that baby now doing something wrong? Yeah. Ours die.

Yeah. It's like, what are you in? That would be hilarious. Yeah, hide it. Hide it. We had to put our dog down. We had to put our baby down. Like, what are they want?

Like, I don't even get, obviously, dude, it's like you're going to be, empathetically, you're going to be hyper sensitive to anything. For sure. Horrific like that happens. Yeah. Yeah. But like, it just lacks self-awareness. Oh, for sure.

And like, putting yourself in anyone else. his shoes of like, okay, think back to other jokes you enjoyed. For sure. And that's what I said. I was like, yo, so my friend, yeah, my friend killed himself and she goes, that's not the same thing. I'm like, I know it. Yes, it is. It's way worse. I don't know as bad losing your own baby. I mean, if my, okay, if you

killed yourself, that's way worse than your baby dying. Yeah, if you did. Maybe it's not. I think she's saying like, maybe it's the same. Yeah, I think having your baby. Let's not compare. Yeah, yeah. The whole point is everybody has different things. And like, by the way, did a Hitler joke before that. Yeah. You know what I mean? And he was like. And he killed, A lot of them. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. What number you do, because I've been doing my own research on this show. I've been here some interesting things on it. Let's just say, no. Yeah. Speaking, by way, speaking of, I'm just going to,

I hate talking too much about comedy. Yeah, I don't, yeah. Yeah, but speaking of... Your comedy in particular, I feel. Yeah, it's exhausting. Yeah. Speaking of Mexicans, have you been following the Drake Bell stuff at all?

Oh, what stuff? I'm going down a huge rabbit hole. Okay. Got caught, maybe being a pedophile. Yeah, I heard about that. I haven't heard the kid story, but I wasn't to kids either. So, you know.

Yeah, you want to listen to some kid? Yeah, not. How about the grown man who said he didn't do it? I've known Drake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, dude. I mean, yeah. You think that guy did it?

The guy, he likes guitar and girls his age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like the whole premise of his documentary. That is the hard part, too, is he, his prime was with 16-year-olds, and then he graduated. Yeah, he was, yeah, that's, you know. Yeah. They write these scripts.

and they take these children. He's just trying to reminisce back on when he was king. And he's literally just, it's, you know, it's Hollywood, really. Yeah, yeah. It's a pedophile culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's style. Yeah.

But what happens, he got caught with it. And then he moved to Mexico and changed his name to Drake Campania, which is Bell in Spanish. Okay. And it's, the videos are so funny. He's doing, like, a full album in Spanish. Wow. His Instagram posts. Besides, most of them are all Spanish.

Spanish. Every single thing is in Spanish. Wow. And he's very white. Yeah. I haven't looked it up yet, but I'm 95% sure. He's not a Mexican lineage. Yeah, no, he's a ginger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The videos are so funny because it's like, there was all this like stuff where he's like in Mexico. He's on like talk shows now there. Like he's fully in all the comments are like, me a more, Drake. So he's living like. Drake.

He's getting like a new career boom in Mexico. Yeah. Yeah, they think he's Drake. Yeah. He just does do a Drake song. You used to come in on myself. Beep-boop. He gets a fade.

That was thinking is a little hard thing on there. He's like, I made it from Toronto. He's just being actual light skin on Mexican TV. Yeah, that rules. But he, yeah, so he's doing that. And the talk show so far. funny because, like, they're, they're loved, like, it's like, he has a, oh, a crazy amount of follow. I didn't realize this guy had four million followers.

Jesus on Instagram? Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah. It's like, four million is like an insane amount. Yeah, I want to be surprised if he starts a Mexican version of Drake and Josh. He should. Yeah, I would watch that immediately.

Drake and Yash. Yeah. And the other one was so funny, goes, there was just a random one. Like, randomly he's like, you're starting to fight because he left Hollywood because he got in trouble for being a pedophile. Now it's like, there was something. You know it's bad when you leave Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the Mecca of being a pedophile. Yeah, it's like the Catholic Church. They usually just shuffle them around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that's the funny part, too, because you would assume Josh was the one that ended up like... Being a pedophile? Yeah, or something.

Well, because he's fat. Yeah. This guy's never going to lose weight. Yeah, dude, he's going to have to fuck kids his whole life. He's so fat. Well, he's a dork. Yeah, no, he'd want all the candy for himself. Yeah, yeah, true.

He needs to find a nice thin woman So he can keep all his candy He looks good now He's about to play a nuclear scientist In what? In a Christopher Nolan movie In the Oppenheimer He's an Oppenheimer

He's Jewish, right? Drake Josh. Josh Peck is his name This doesn't sound particularly Jewish I could see it though I mean I can see it

He doesn't I guess she looks kind of Jewish I don't know Yeah Well historic Yeah I think I don't know anything about Oppenheimer wasn't Jewish

but she was, what was, what's happening? German. German, right. I don't know if he was a Jewish. German guy, yeah, yeah, yeah. German guy, I have no clue. That had to be awkward because, like, we moved all the Nazi scientists here

and there had to be scientists working at the same building. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're going to put our differences aside to get the moon. Right. This is about the moon. Yeah.

All right. Guys. Guys. There's a tough. I just want to focus on the moon, guys. Is a Hitler mustache. I don't want politics in the workplace. We were joking about that at the show too.

It's like, what if I did the Hitler joke? And then you just see a table get up and leave. It's like a bunch of people with Hitler Mustach. Also, they have their kids. We thought this is a family show. They have like armband swastikas. We're leaving. Dude, yeah.

I mean, that shit's, I've seen that kind of shit though. Like I was watching the Channel 5 documentary. Did you know what it is? You know, Channel 5 like, all gas, no breaks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did like a thing on HBO and there was like a family

of Q&on people. There's like an eight-year-old being like, Trump will kill the pedophiles. Hillary Clinton Leap, babies. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes you feel so sad.

Yeah, well, it's like, dude, I was going through like those cringe TikToks. And I'm like, look, I know there was a terrible time in America where everybody was racist and all that stuff. Not everybody. Not everybody, but there's a certain...

Even the black thing. All of them, nobody's to blame. It was so bad slaves were racist. Let's not start pointing fingers whose fault it was. We were all racist. Slave and owner alike. You weren't tell me they weren't as involved?

Guilty by association. There were bad people on both sides. I mean, you guys were half of slavery. Yeah. We're always pointed to one half. Yeah, I mean, most people didn't even own slaves. Yeah, yeah. More people were slaves.

That's what I'm going to say. Which is the worst take imaginable. People are going to cut this. People are going to cut this out. No one's going to cut this out. Yeah, no, we should. Even if they do, I'll be like, I defend what I said. Double down.

And I won't apologize to your wife. I won't apologize to our sick. You guys are the ones that lost him this time I fall. Dude, yeah, I used to have a, yeah. I saw, fuck, who did that joke? Whatever, it doesn't matter. I think I saw it on like some meme or something. It was about lost babies.

Like someone's like, I lost my baby. It was like, fucking find it. I used to try to do that joke on stage. People did not like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People really hated it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I stopped doing it. But the barbara is some people really like the joke. I've had a host tell me she's like, she asked the audience, she's like, what joke did you guys like? People were like,

baby funeral. I was like, all right, so some people enjoy it. If you were polarizing, that's kind of good. Like, I mean, I don't want to like, I don't want to have like two people love it and 100 people hate it.

Right, yeah, yeah. But if it's 50, 50. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of. Strangers. It's not bad. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, I'm not. And I'm like, statistically, there's no way this happens again. Maybe, I don't know. I mean, it could. I was like, they got, if they interrupted my set to say that, I don't think there's any way to recover from them saying, our baby just died. Yeah. For me, like, I don't know how you.

I wouldn't be like, did you talk with the body? What kind of voice did you What kind of voice did you use? Because it's weird It'd just be like Charles Yeah You always love blocks Yeah

Yeah, that was your thing Yeah Yeah, there's not a lot to say The TikTok thing though I keep getting off topic But it's like I know that was a terrible society But there's something with like

The uniform Like because you see Some of these people And we're looking at the cringe TikToks Yeah And there are some people that are so Wildly You know what I mean

It's like just you're like This person is so far From being on this planet right now. And you're like, I don't know if it's the phones or what. They're like psychotic? Yeah, yeah. I don't know there's more people. Do you mean like psychos or do you mean like mentally handicapped people? No, no, no. I mean like

because there's like autism but then there's like it's a little different. Like I think there's there's people that are like not there. I don't know. I feel like we'd say everything is on the spectrum but something like you're like can some guy just work at Walmart and like anime and yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean there's definitely

like that's like something that I've read briefly about that was there's this book called the myth of mental illness that I like briefed I read the flap. I didn't read it. Don't quote me on this. But like the crux of it was that like people just have proclivities and then they have problems adjusting to their life and it's like that. Like to think of it more that way

it's more pragmatic than being like you're this and these are your symptoms, you know, like, you know, like don't make it a sickness, make it like a, there's a phrase he used. It was like, he said problems of being or something like that. Right. Yeah, yeah, because anxiety is a problem of being. It's like you're not adjusting to your life properly if you change your actions and your attitude. Your accent. If you change your accent, if you stop being Chinese, you would not be worried.

But if you, no, if you change your attitude and your, you know, your behaviors, then, Like, because I know that, I guess, you know, whatever. I don't know what I have specifically. I think I just have some sort of vague anxiety. It's generalized anxiety or like maybe a kiss of OCD or whatever. I don't really know. But that's also, like, I have OCD and I don't think it's something you're born with. I think it's a pattern of behavior.

Yeah. It's a pattern of thinking that you develop over time. Yeah. So it's not like you're like, oh, you are born with OCD. You're not. It's like you have anxiety. And then you started behaving in a certain way to, like, appease the anxiety. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you that word? Peace? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then it just snowballed to like becoming something. It's like, yeah, it is this weird thing. And then like people are like, because there's a weird thing where like older people are like anxiety is being a pussy.

And in a way it is. It's the whole human race. There's a spectrum. It goes from you're a pussy to like, I can't leave the house because my doctor told me that I have pseudo functional crones. And you're like you're just, you're a baby. Stop being a baby. Yeah, yeah. It's like really it's in the middle.

where it's like you have some symptoms, you know, but if you do change your ways, the symptoms go away. Right, or they get way better, they're manageable or like, you know, take some fucking SSRIs and fucking,

you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, because it is, it is like the human race is, like, things have gotten easier.

Yeah. So we have, we don't know where to divert the energy. Yeah. Of, like, being anxious. Because, like,

we are supposed to be anxious just about specific things. And because life's easier, it just directs to others. You look at a squirrel. It's the most neurotic thing you've ever seen. Yeah. Like,

it's just, They're just constantly in fear. Yeah, people were like, nobody had anxiety back this. Like, they did. It was just about more directed things they knew. Yeah. They were like, oh, these Germans are coming into the house and searching for our kids. Right.

It's like that Louis bit of like they're cutting everyone's head off today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's real, I think what happens is like anxiety is like it's irrational, but those emotions were always there. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I was reading a thing about anxiety and it essentially said like, and maybe there's probably some sort of cultural sickness

that leads more people to get it than normal than if people were more well if we all found God, you know? Like if we all really believed in God, there'd be way less anxiety. Oh, for sure, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I'm not a God person. I'm just saying, but it does appease it.

Like, when I was a kid. It works if you believe it. But the problem is you have to believe it. It's not really, you can't really do that. I'm finding a direct timeline to my mental illness and when I stopped believing in God. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was depressing.

I mean, being like a little angsty 14 year old and being like, wait a minute. You know, like, it's a sad. And I'm agnostic. Like, there might be, I don't know. Right. Like not knowing. That doesn't feel good.

No, yeah, yeah, it doesn't. Yeah. Because when I was a kid, I was like, I used to like be less scared of death because I was like, if I die, I'm just going to go to heaven. Yeah, it's good. I love Jesus Christ. We're good, dude. I'm going to meet the Lord.

Straight up. He likes me. He likes me. He's like the fucking Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if you, you know, of course that feels good.

And then, like, it also gives you, like, clear direction because it's some outside third-party source that you trust, you know, literally with your soul. Yeah, you could say, what would Jesus do? You literally, if you mean that, it's the most helpful thing you can. And it answers every question. Yeah. You're like, oh, should I give us home to have money?

What would Jesus do? Right, I'll do it. Exactly. And you just kind of go throughout your day like that. What would you do? Yeah. It's like... And now, the thing is, you can wrap that around

whatever you want to do either way. You could do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus actually probably, this guy's going to use heroin. He's going to do heroin. Now I'm not going to get money. Right, right, right, right. It's rational, you can rationalize anything.

For sure, yeah. That's like, uh, there's some, it's good about any decision. Yeah, yeah. There's some phrase that's like under God, all is permitted. Yeah. So it's like, you can just chop, like the crusades. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, well, I'm a Christian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's not. Creatively, too.

So that, like, medieval torture where they're like, yeah. Yeah. He's like, what about a bull that, like, you set on fire and, like, people inside of. You know, that guy was, like, I think he's like, I got a purpose and meaning. I feel good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel good torturing. Yeah. You know? Or, like, you know, people who die even are like, well, I'm going to hell. I deserve this, you know. Yeah. Of course, they're in horrific pain and like there's like, but there's like genuine martyrs.

You know, there's like, I remember hearing about saints in Catholic school who were drawn and quartered. I learned what being drawn and quartered was when I was like eight years old. What is it? That's where you, um, you have, uh, four horses tied to, you. Oh, yeah, and they pull different ways. Yeah, and they all run in the, yeah, and then you have your arms ripped off.

And there was like some guy who refused to be a pagan or something. And they're like, isn't that? What a great guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what a moron? Yeah. His options were say you believe in something, you know, equally as unlikely as the other thing or get horses to pull you away.

Like, what a dofess, you know? You know, I feel like one of those guys when I was talking to that woman, I'm like, I'm doing my art here. You're the patron saint of common. I'll die for this. But, yeah, so, like, I don't know. What were we talking about? Anxiety?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, the middle-aged stuff is crazy. Like, the creativity behind all that stuff is crazy. Well, you were talking about homeless people, dude. I was watching my favorite document. So it's really sad. People are making documentaries on comedy.

Yeah. Don't do it. No. There's so much, like, I was just watching one today on, like, the fucking, like, the underground mole people. Have you ever seen any of this stuff? I want to. That sounds sick. Yes, there's a history.

one just about living below New York or like just tunnels below New York. They live in the abandoned subways? So the history channel one was just about I'll start with the subway one was awesome because they go to this guy who like first off he moved from Cuba to the United States and now he lives in a hole

and I'm like, that's terrible. Was he happy? I don't know. They didn't ask him. He's like, it's better than communism. I used to eat one piece of bread I can't do a good Cuban. I got a slurpy. Meng?

But not go to the I get as many hot dogs as I want. I can't do Cuban. I'm doing Mexican. He did say, he was like, he's like, she's Cuban. He goes, no, he goes, I'm an American, man. I'm an American, man. Yeah, yeah, because he's like, he's been here for so long.

I mean, he is an American. No, for sure. If you live in the subway tunnels. Yeah, it is. Of New York City. You're basically a veteran. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You're a hero. People are like, I live in New York City. You're like, I live in New York City. I live inside. Yeah. of New York City. Yeah, it's like the fuck thing. The bowels.

Yeah. Yeah. That's way better than the beautiful Cuban beaches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's like, oh, we had to throw out our Christmas tree because Fidel Cassie. Yeah, yeah. But we only had one big bag of rice a week. Yeah, yeah. And free medicine in college. I don't know.

I don't know enough about Cuba to like. I know zero about it. Yeah. All I know is like the- By the way, now I'm going to have a Cuban family come up to me. Yeah. They're like,

we used to get punched in the face every day. by dogs I'm possible. I've only consumed like you guys got COVID? No, no, no. I said that so apologetically. What?

I'm vaxed, dude, but no. I'm not faxed, dude. No, I am. But there's only two sources of information that I get about Cuba. Miami, which is all anti-communists. Yes, they're all like Cuban Republicans. And then you get like Brooklyn communists.

So I'm like, neither of this is good. Yeah, the truth has to be somewhere in the middle. Right. People who left there who fucking hate it because they want to, you know, be a dentist and make 300 grand instead of what everyone else makes. or like Brooklyn communists who are like, actually they give everyone a puppy every day. Yeah, yeah, I don't think it was... I don't think it's either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's definitely some negative stuff coming on. There's some horrible things about Fidel. Yeah, there's also probably, you know... Probably good things too, yeah. Like, literacy is really... I know literacy's good, I know medicine is free, and I know college is free.

Yeah, but people listening, this is us that knows... We know zero outside of that... Yeah, dude, I have an English degree. Yeah, yeah, I know nothing about it. I'm worthless. Because there are some people see him as Hitler and I'm like, I don't know enough to say anything.

Yeah, well, I mean, he's not Hitler. Yeah. I mean, Hitler's not even Hitler. No. That's a great. He's not even. Hitler's not even, what is he, Hitler? That's basically Kanye's take.

Yeah, yeah. He's like, guys, stop. Stop being mean to Hitler. He's not Hitler. Yeah, yeah. That was the standpoint about how easy I am normally to defend Kanye that I was like, are we sure he's talking about the same history? It's got to be another one.

There's no way. Yeah, yeah. He's talking about Rudolph Hitler. The guy who invented microphones. Yeah, the different Hitler who invented microphones. I think people would be like, I mean, it's a stale take at this point,

but I do love the people who are like, what's he really saying? Yeah. I'm like, nothing. He's having a mental breakdown. He's saying nothing. Yeah, it's so clear. Yeah. I mean, it's like if you have to like, it's like when the schizophrenic guy on the streets like, hey, my toes.

believe in the afterlife. And then you're like, what does he mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, don't, you don't have to. You don't have to figure it out. There's nothing.

And you'll hear, because you have contradicting things from me. He's like, you know, we can't forget our history. And then he's like, I don't think we should even mention history. Yeah, he said you loved Hitler. He's like, I'm starting a school

with no history. I love Hitler. Yeah, and you're like, where'd you learn that? History. Yeah, he's in some shit where he's like, we're going to have one class,

it's engineering, and the rest of the day's recess. Yeah. You're like, all right, what does that even mean? I mean, I like the idea of recess being more. It is sad there's no recess. I don't know if you went to school, but there was no recess. You never, I think we had, we had recess.

Every day? Yeah, and recess is just where the violence happens. There should be a 30-minute violent portion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There should be 45 minutes of violence class. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's just like some kid is going to throw a football at the back of your head as hard as he feels. Yeah.

But he's going to concentrate way better afterwards. Yeah, he's going to hit you dead. dead in the back of the head and then you're going to yell at him and you're going to learn confrontation skills. I think that matters. I really think they should just like have like one coach like a hundred yards away with a whistle and there should be like an area that you can't see behind like one of those trailer schools. You know, I'm talking about the mobiles or whatever they're called. Yeah, mobiles. Just behind the mobiles, some kids should be getting kicked in the nuts. There should be a fight club.

So I went to prep school for middle school and but it was, but it was, six through, six through twelfth grade. And my Instagram, like a year ago, it was called Trinity Prep. I got Trindy Prep Prep Fight Club. Instagram tried to follow me. Nice, dude. And it was literally just kids in a locker room.

Dude, yeah, that rules. Can you, what is the crime of watching kids fight each other? And I know betting is illegal. Yeah. But like, what's the crime of- betting children? I don't know. It's a weird thing because, like, the worst would be if you got, like,

convicted as a child predator. Like, I would love to just buy kids beer. I know you're not, it looks so bad. You should buy some kids some beer. Right. It's a fun thing to do. But it's like, it's like, that gets looped in with the Drake Bell kind of stuff. Oh, yeah, why are you buying a beer?

You're buying a beer. Yeah, I don't want him to have a good night. Jared Moore. I don't know if you met him. Yeah, yeah, great good. But he has a great joke about Mike's hard lemonade being in every episode of To Catch a Predator. Yeah. Dude, it really is.

It's the official soft drink of pedophiles or something. that's what there was a guy that came over with it and he's got like a 24 pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade yeah yeah he doesn't even know they made and he's sitting there and he's like he's just kind of redneck guy and he goes so what was your planning he goes I was going during golies yeah he's like you're going to drink

24 Mike's hard lemonade and just hang out with a 12 year old he goes yep that's what I was going to do that's it I love Mike's hard yeah yeah yeah no they love I love that. But what were we talking about fighting kids? Oh, yeah, you should buy kids' beer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, as long as you don't hang out with them after, it's not a huge deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was around the kid. Yeah, 18. I think, like, I'm talking about, yeah, 17. 17 and up? 17 and up. Yeah, that's where you draw the line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I don't know, dude. I mean, I had, when I was 17, there was a guy we knew at a, did you have farmers markets? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what a farm's market is. Yeah, they're not, but they're not, they were called Farmer's Market, but it was like a brand. And it was a drive-through, sort of like a drive-thru convenience store. Okay, I know we were, I know what a, you're talking about a farm store.

Farm store. Yeah, I know we didn't have these in Orlando. Yeah, farm stores. My girlfriend's from Tampa, and they had those for some reason. I have no idea what it is, yeah. Yeah, they have farm stores where you can just drive, it's a drive-thru-thru-7-11, basically, with, like, basic groceries, and you can buy booze through them. But there was one guy who would sell anything to anyone. and he would just ask you

he would go, how old are you? He would just ask, because he was an idiot and he thought, he was like, well, I asked him. Yeah, yeah. Like, that would do anything. So we just had a guy where it's like, you just go there and he'll... Yeah, you found your friend with the biggest beard.

Yeah, and you have him drive and you go, let me get that, and then the guy doesn't ask you for an idea and he just gives it. Yeah, you're good to go, yeah. Like, if you're at all smart, you can get anything. Oh, for sure.

If you had, like, I mean, my kids... We pay a homeless guy to sometimes he gets four locos. There you go, dude. I mean, that's giving back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you gave a homeless guy $20 for $12 worth of beer, I think that's better than... That's an amazing system.

99% of people treat the homeless. Yeah, yeah. And that guy is going to do so much with that money. Yeah. Those kids are going to have so much fun with that boost. Everybody wins. Is there a better trade $20 for 4-4 locoes for 16-year-olds and $20 for whatever for a homeless guy?

He keeps the change, dude. He just buys a fifth four loco. He's like, what do you guys do? Yeah. You're hanging out. It's a great. Oh, yeah. I hate the...

to keep jumping back on the topic. No, no, I don't mind it at all. I'm at total, I think I, not that, you know, mental illness is real, but I think I do have some sort of tangential speaking where I can just break off at any moment. No, no, you're good. And it's also like, I don't care at all. Okay.

I just wanted before, I, I want those people where if I don't say something immediately, I will forget what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, me too. So, like, argument winds up a big, yeah, and also this is, uh, and it's like, I don't even. Yeah. It's like, I will listen to what you have to say. It's just, I will forget my point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. Yeah. What was your point? There's no structure of this, but the mole people thing. Oh, yeah, the mole people. Yeah. Okay, mole people. This dude had the craziest fucking setup because the dude, first time he goes,

take your shoes off before you come to the hole in the ground. Yeah. And the dude in this hole in the ground has a fucking a full, what do you call it? Not laptop, but desktop. Oh, okay. Jesus. Microwave refrigerator. How is he getting power?

Dude, he has his electric. He's like stealing it from the subway line? Yeah, and I'm like, this guy's like an engineer. I'm like, it's crazy. And it was funny because he's like, yeah, you know, I just like, he's like, I couldn't hold down a job. I kept getting fired. And then I was like, I'm watching this while working from home. And neglecting my work.

And I'm like, fuck, am I going to be this mole person guy? Well, no, I mean, you're making $25 an hour to, however much you're making. I don't know how much you're making. Yeah, yeah. What you make? 30, but yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Let's fucking go. Yeah, yeah. That rules. Yeah, no, it's great. Um, yeah, is hiring around there? Could I do it? If they are, I can't. It's a temp job.

Okay. It's through an agency. I can for sure, by way, I'm trying to hook people up with the agency. Yeah, let me know, dude. Yeah. I'm good. But, no, but it might come to that. Yeah, yeah, let me do.

Because social media, one question on Snapchat and a machine official on Instagram, if that stops working. Yeah, then it's done. Yeah. But this guy also had a printer. I like the idea of these printing resumes. Because, like, I was wondering what a homeless guy needs a printer for. Yeah.

Yeah. But I guess maybe punching up the resume. That would be crazy. Probably his poems. Yeah, yeah. I live in a hole. It hurts my soul. I love that this Cuban guys from Los Angeles. Yeah, I don't know where the fuck he's from, dude.

I can't do a Cuban. I'm trying to be like, I think it's kind of like this. Scarface is my only reference point. Well, Scarface is a classically bad one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's like, oh, my, hollylo, it's your body. Like, it's ridiculous. It's so over the top and not, I don't even think,

I've never heard of Cuban sound remotely like Scarface. The little nuances here and there, like Meng. That's about it. Just the mang. What I thought you, am I? Yeah, I think Scarface is one of the accidentally funniest movies I've ever seen. I love it, though. It's so, it's great.

Yeah, yeah. So fun. Yeah. There's point of, like, I was, I laughed, you know, I'm a weirdo, so I laugh at the pussy eating part. What's the pussy eating part? My buddy Arden, who's a comic that said he has a joke about it. But the guy goes, he goes, oh, you got a scar on your face. He goes, how'd you get that eating pussy?

So I was like, why is that? Yeah, what are you gay? My buddy's joke is the, what's it called? The TV edit version goes, how'd you get the scar on face eating pineapple? That weirdly makes more sense. It does make a lot of more sense. But there's a part where there's two parts I laugh at. There's one part where he goes,

he's like, you know, he has his like fucked up wife. I think it's Michelle Pfeiffer. Yeah, yeah. She's all like, like, she's a heroin addict or a cocaine addict or whatever. And she's like, fuh. Yeah, yeah. So I fucked up a table. And he goes, look at her, man.

She's a fucking junkie. It goes, I can't even put a little baby in her. He's like her woman's so pallo. Her womb is so parlorid. She can't even bear me on kids. I can't even put a little baby in her. I was like, it's so funny. Another super funny part is that when he's like overprotective of his sister and she bangs.

He wants to bang his sister, right? He wants to fuck his sister. It's like almost like written. You're like, it's, because she hints at it when she's like, why don't you just fuck me yourself, Tony. That part where she comes at the end, she takes off her dress. She goes, what, do you want to fuck me, Tony? Yeah, yeah. I was like,

it was funny. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Like, finally. Yeah, yeah, like there's almost like a tension in the release where you, you mean to fuck me? Yeah, yeah.

Looking like a psycho. Dude, that movie took that term. We fucked his sister. I actually don't want to. That'd be great. Just he's like, fuck it.

My place is getting shot up. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I'm gonna fuck my sister. His dick definitely doesn't work, though. At that moment, with his pile of cocaine. Zero percent.

It's for sure, like, inside of him. Yeah, no, it's, yeah. It's, yeah, he's gonna... He's just him with his dick inside of trying to fuck because he's like, no! My dick went outside of me, man. It looks like a cockroach.

He's a cockroach. Yeah, dude, the way he says shit is so stupid. Yeah, no, I love it. But I love, like, it's one of those, I love, like, those kind of, like, I'm not really into, like, the James Bond kind of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's cool about it.

He's like... Yeah. He's got, I'm a little silencer. I'll shoot a guy behind. I'm like, you know, I love Scarface just, like, shoot. Just total blood madness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, yeah, there's certain violent movies. I mean, I love violence in movies. I'm a big fan. It's great. I rewatched no country for old men recently. I've never seen. That's when I watched it. Oh, it's so good.

It's so great. Yeah, yeah. Do you know how he kills people in it? The main, like, a type throw or something? No, he has a cattle prod thing. I don't know what they call it exactly. But what it does, it's like a pressurized canister. Like, it looks like that.

Okay, that's why that was a flame through because it was like, it was like, it's a can. Yeah, yeah. And then he has this little thing like this. And it just shoots out a rod at like a bajillion PSI. And it just puts a little hole in your forehead. Like you just, and it just kills you like instantly. I'm like, that's the coolest thing.

That's awesome. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen? Because people are also not like, is it one of those where they find the hole in the guy's head? They're like, what are they? Yeah. Yeah. Like, what the fuck is he going to? There's a scene where Tom Lee Jones is a cop and he goes,

he was like, there's no exit wound. He has a fucking hole in his head. Yeah. And there's no bullet. Yeah. Like he had no idea. Like there's a part where he, like, realizes that it's a fucking... The thing, yeah.

Yeah, like the cattle. It's how you track that? It's like a wild thing to track, yeah. No, it's like untraceable because you just carry around like, you know? I used to mix up Tommy Lee Jones and Tommy Lee. Yeah, from the drummer. Yeah, yeah. And so I remember, I think we...

Oh, he fucked Pam Anna. Yeah, yeah. Joke like him as Two-Face. We were joking about it. Just like, heads, I put it in your ass. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was in.

No shitty Batman. Yeah, the Joel Schumacher one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His face was like, it was like weirdly like... I did like the makeup on him. I thought it was cool when I was a kid, but I don't remember it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or it's kind of scared me, but I liked it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Tommy Lee Lee, dude. Tommy Lee kind of rules. Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah, well, both of them rule. Yeah, both of them rule. Yeah, yeah. I think Tommy Lee Jones is a bit less fucking weirdo.

Oh, then Tommy Lee? Tommy Lee seems like a weird. Have you seen his, like, online presence now? Dude, rock stars just look fucking disgusting. He looks disgusting. has some like bimbo 30 year old wife and he's like 60 and he's like oh dude it's so cool I'm gonna like smoking pot like yeah it's cool

I'm like this fucking you're ancient dude there's a video to him on stage and he's like he's like you guys want to see my weiner yeah and then he pulls out like a weiner dog he's like oh got you didn't you hit a woman in the face yeah yeah he used to punch 14 year olds yeah yeah yeah yeah back when you were cool

when you're a cool guy. I fucking love Motley Crew. I love the horrible energy of it. Yeah, yeah. It's the worst. Yeah, but it's all, like, I, I enjoy it. I thoroughly, I have bad taste and stuff. I love Scarface.

I love Scarface is good. But I love these things. Like with that, there's a certain kind of like, I mean, are you listening to Motley Crew albums? Yeah. That's insane. I'm not like, okay, lyricically not great. Home Sweet Home's got good lyrics.

Besides that. Yeah. I mean, I know three Motley crew. Crucese. Panama. I think it's a Def Leopard. There we go. I don't even know. I think it's, no, I think Panama's definitely not my love. Or it might be Van Halen.

Yeah, I think it's Van Halen, yeah. You know what? That's the thing. I don't even know. Neither of us were right. Yeah. But I like, I like that like, the movie was great. What's the dirt? No. It's so ridiculous.

There's like some woman's like squirting. The fiction movies? It's about their like. Yeah, but it's like a biopic. It's not like a documentary. No, yeah, it's a biopic. But it's toned down. Okay.

Because like the real story, like, Ozzy like, whatever, like, snorts ants and, like, peas in a dress. That's crazy. But then, apparently the real story is, like, him, like, shitting in a hotel. Everything. They had to, like, tone everything down. Because, like, those people are out of their fucking mind. It's only, it'd be like a hit piece if you said what actually happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, yeah, he lit a dog on fire. Yeah. And then punched a nun in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then fucking put a knife inside a fucking baby. And you're like, well, let's make it. Maybe peas in the corner.

Yeah. Maybe he wears a dress. Yeah, he wears a dress. That's the worst thing he ever did. Yeah, yeah. It's so funny, though, because it is awesome. Some disgusting act like wearing a dress. Look how crazy he was.

Yeah, he goes against God. Yeah, yeah. You're like, you mean like Harry Styles? Yeah. Yeah. That's that wild. But yeah, because there's a scene where he's like wearing a dress and he pisses on the ground. Yeah.

And then like snorts it up and he snorts ants. Because Ozzy was just like fucking nuts. Yeah. And it is so sad to see him now. Because I'm like, look, I know that's no way to live forever. Yeah. But he's alive. It's a miracle he's alive.

Yeah. But the videos of him now are like, there's one where he's like, me and sharing support to Ukraine. And like, there's no way. That's awesome. There's no way you could point it out on a map. He's like, I love you crying. Yeah, I don't know what he sounds like.

Yeah, I can't do a good Ozzy. Make sure to get raped tonight, eat. Yeah. I mean, he basically is a challenged guy at this point. Yeah, I know. He's killed enough of his. IQ, you know. Yeah, yeah.

I think the sunglasses are a great move because he kind of like, I mean, he looks insane, but he can kind of mysteriously pull it off. They're like, look at Ozzy, man. He's such a dark creature, but really is, Brett. He's like, oh, we're getting an ice cream. That's that classic clip of going, somebody drank my beers.

You drank your beard. You're demented. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you're 40 and you look 100. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. I didn't know that some of, I didn't know the,

weird side effects of certain things. Apparently, do you know that, like, heroin and cocaine can give you Parkinson's, apparently? No, I mean, that sounds right. I don't know if they know which one, but I know somebody who adds, like, Parkinson's, like,

a comic, but I can say it. Really? But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said it was from doing, like, cocaine and heroin. I looked it up, and, like, I don't know if they know specifically which one.

Or maybe I just didn't read the foreman. Yeah, because I like Coke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That gives me pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I was worried enough about. God's like, you want to shake a little bit? Yeah, yeah.

How about you shake always? How about you shake forever? Yeah. I wanted, yeah, I mean, I get paranoid about the fentanyl. Yeah, yeah, that's... But now I'm gonna get Parkinson's too, dude. Yeah, yeah, but I think you gotta do like years. I would like abuse it.

Yeah. You don't have a little toot, you know? Yeah, oh, here and there. It's Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't done it like two years, but I have told everybody, I'm like, it's not because I'm above it. It's because it just gives me anxiety.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Which is the most minimal side effect of cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, it's like, I just don't like the way I feel the next day, but it's like, if I could still do it. Oh, the next day is misery. Dude, your eyes feel like somebody's like poking. If you really do, I did like a little bit over the holidays, but nothing. I did two little bumps over like five hours.

Like nothing crazy. I was just like trying to stay awake from like drinking, you know. It was like a very practical. Well, I think the way that is, sometimes half an adder. But the problem is then Adderall gets you in this weird sort of like You're not fun while you're drinking Yeah Drink and take Adderall

It's a great way to keep the party going But you're like not As inhibited Yeah You're not like wheehah! Yeah, you don't get... You're kind of like a little... You have that sort of fun

But yeah There's definitely a point there where I'm seeing some of my friends They do coke and become less fun They do like massive amounts What? They become like serious and paranoid Yeah And they're just like

Yeah yeah that's really funny joke man Really funny joke man really funny joke Oh they're like irritable They're like cranky Yeah yeah Or it's not even like they're mad, they're just like show focus that it's not fun. Yeah, they're like intense. Yeah.

I did enough of it to like really feel it on not that much even. Yeah, I love the people that are like, Coke doesn't work on me. I'm like, it works. Do more of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, yeah, no, just do like three lines. You'll feel horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I would. I don't know about other people. Yeah. Maybe I'd feel great. I've never done that. I just assumed that I'll do one. Yeah, that's a good way to be. Yeah, I used to, I mean, I did it, I think two years ago,

I did it a week before my buddy died of fentanyl. So that was the last time I did it. So it's been a while. I haven't had since. And that's when fentanyl became weird to me. Before that, I was like, yeah, these are a bunch of knuckleheads dying. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh, shit, it isn't stuff.

But then what happened was the craziest I've ever done it was one time I just went to this guy's house. And I think we came home from like UCF library, you know, just like the shittiest bars ever. Right. I think we were like 17. And this dude has it on the table. And I just take it just a fat line of whatever it was. Yeah. And he goes, why did you just do this?

He goes, that's the strongest co-game we've ever done. Yeah. You're going to be. And I literally was like almost like cracked. Yeah, yeah. I never experienced this before where I literally was like looking out the window. I was like, dude, what's going on in your backyard? I remember like studying.

Yeah. I was literally like peering in it. Like I get sort of when you want it's like breaking bad and they're like, it's fun to like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was just like, and it was only last like 30 minutes, but I remember just being like, I was looking out the window and I was like, I literally, I'm pretty sure I said this. I was like, dude, you have a pond in your backyard.

I was like, you could for sure make a movie about mermaids. Cracking up ideas. Yeah, they're like, what the fuck are you talking? And I just went to do that and just chat. Oh, yeah, it'll make it poo. You'll make it poo big time. Yeah, yeah. But I did it over my friend's bachelor party

and I did enough of it to like feel, it pretty good through the night and was dosing it again through the night, you know. And then the next day I was the crankiest little bitch I've ever been in my life, dude. And I was like, there was a moment where I said something and I go,

why did I, like, there's a part of me of it, why did I say that? And I realize I'm like, oh, I'm horribly hung over from cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my friend was like, let's go to a, do you want to go to a pool party today? And I'm like, have a pounding headache and I hate life. And I go, who would want to go to a fucking pool party?

I'm like, listen to what you just said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who would want to go to, I don't know, people who like to have a nice time. Yeah. It sounds really fun. Pool parties are fun. They're a blast, yeah. Yeah, they're really fun.

You get to go in the pool. Yeah, yeah. Swim around and drink. It's great. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, fuck that. That sounds fucking horrible. Yeah, especially with somebody else's bad report, it's like his ideas.

Yeah, it's like his idea of fun and he didn't feel as bad from the Coke as I did. Yeah. So, you know, he was just like, yeah, we could do this. that and I was like, fucking kill you. I fucking hate you. It's just such a little bitch, dude. Yeah. Well, and I'm also, I'm still at the point of my life where I'm like, I'm going to take hangovers. I'm like, I'm not going to stop.

Like, I was like, I like the adventures I'm going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pace them out more. Now it's like I have like one night like that. The bachelor parties are fucking hard. Yeah, they'll get you. Yeah. It was a weekend, too. We went to Miami for a weekend. Oh my God. Yeah, that'll fucking like, dude, I went to a bachelor party and like, I think like three people made like serious, including myself, serious life changes. Genuinely. Day two, they're like, I can't keep doing this. Yeah, yeah.

Two people, like, literally, I think two people had like legitimate hallucinations from like sleep depravation. Oh, no. It was dehydrines. And it's like, dude, you're in Key West just drinking like the sugary's drinks in the sun. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're drinking like super hard dachry. Yeah. I drink one dachry in Key West recently.

I was hammered. Dude, yeah, they're insane. Because I slurped it down like a fucking Coke because it's delicious. And then you just black out. And then I'm like, I'm hammered. Yeah, yeah.

Like, we just started. We just hang out. We're just hanging out at the bar at 8. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, what's okay? He was!

Like, dude, it's 8.30. What do you fuck? You showed a family your dick. They were fucking not being cool. Yeah. They were not being chill. So I thought I should. I had one dackery.

Yeah. The cops, like, you've had too much a drink. You're like, I had one. I can legally operate a vehicle. That's the funny one drink thing that's like, technically one drink and you're good. Yeah, how much you've had to drink one? Yeah. It's like there were four shots inside of it.

They had like four straws for like four different people. Yeah, yeah. It was one of those fish bowls. But you put it all together and just drink. Yeah, dude. I don't know. I can't like drink like that too often or all. I noticed that towards the end of the holidays because I was drinking more of the holidays.

Dude, I felt horrible. Yeah. I felt horrific. I went go card. So sad. I was depressed. Yeah, so sad. We were go-karting, like, on the way,

they were dropping me off the airport. And I'm literally just in a go-car, and I'm like, dude, if this isn't making me happy, I was like, right, yeah, this is chemical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is not. Yeah, there's nothing going on in my life. I just drank too much for too long, and now I can't enjoy go-carts.

Yeah. So the two days later, I was like, oh, I feel great. Yeah, I feel fine. I just didn't drink for two days, and it's amazing. Yeah. But that dehydration from like that daughery drink acuity, it's like literally like some, I would want to compare the water levels in somebody living in like the Sahara. Yeah. To like that.

Because it's like your body just. You're raising, dude. Yeah, yeah. You're terrible. We are at an hour though. Oh, okay. We can cut it off if you want. Yeah, yeah.

I was going to ask you something. Well, we're going to ask me. I was going to ask. Are you feeling like the New Year's motivational buzz? Are you like getting after stuff? Are you fucking joining gyms? Are you fucking doing anything different? So I was thinking about doing dry January just to save money.

There you go. I might change it to just the beers in my fridge January. Oh, there's a hundred and twenty-eight years. Because I'm like, I've done the dry January thing twice. Yeah. And I'm like, part of me is like, if I do that for a decade, that's a full year of my life worth of not drinking. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't know if I'm going to drink extra hard one year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, I don't know if I like agree with it. It's mixed feelings because I'm like, I did it twice. And then I'm like, I don't know. It's like, I have mixed feelings. It's like, I don't think I have a drinking. problem, but I don't want to miss out on life. Because sometimes you're like, oh, okay, whatever.

And like, because looking back at all the drinking you've done your life, does any of you go, I wish I did less at a certain point? Like, most of the time you're like, kind of glad I had. Oh, there's, there's like. Maybe like specific nights, but. Yeah, if I had chosen not to drink on specific nights, I'd be like, wow, I've missed a huge thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, it's very important socially.

Now, if my career is nowhere in like six years, then maybe I'll be like, God damn it. Yeah. What the fuck! Then turn up the drinking net. Yeah, yeah. That's when you go fucking nuts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, that's where I'm out. I might do it. I quit doing benzodiazepines for now. Really? Yeah, I prescribed colonopin, and I'm like... How often were you taking them? So, like, it started... Yeah.

Dude, benzos are the worst like that. Yeah, it started like twice a week. Yeah. And that was for like three years. And then I took like six months off one year. So it took like half a year off. Yeah. And I lived above a bar, so it was insane in sleep.

So then I was taking them like four times a week. Yeah. But really small amount. Right. But I could tell when I was podcasting and stuff. I was like, I can't even think of basic work. Like I was like your whole next day, you're just kind of out of it. Right. It gets you all foggy. I don't like it. Sleeping was great, dude. I would take the NyQuil. Knock you the fuck out.

Take that and like watch Breaking Bad. This is about it's like a week ago. I'm awful. And you're like, that is the best sleep. You have a chip. Yeah. That sleeps like amazing, dude. Because I was in Miami. I can't imagine.

Staying on an air mattress. And I was like, this is the most comfortable airman. that I've ever been on Kalanapin. I don't remember. Maybe I blacked out in the middle of the night and shit in my buddy's house, but for most part, it seems like I behaved. Yeah, nice, dude.

Nice. Yeah, but I was just curious. We can wrap it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want to promote? One question on Snapchat and... Sweet. Christian official on Instagram.

Okay, sweet. Yeah. Thanks.